How Tragedy Informs President Joe Biden’s Empathy | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

I have a topic I wanted to bring up with. you which is near and dear to my heart. because it's been the root of this. podcast I've been doing for about five. years I get to talk to a lot of quote. important people people that have. achieved amazing things and what I try. to get them to talk about the things. that uh that they they thought of as. maybe a disability or a problem when. they were younger that helped fuel them. that when they were younger they. desperately wished it would go away they. thought of it as a weakness but when.

they look at the span of their life now. they see that that actually uh helped. Forge them and I know you've talked. about this but you when you were growing. up and stuttered and it must have been. the fuel in some ways to have pushed you. forward well when I was. a. kid you've got this problem licked by. the way for me it was uh I was really.

lucky I had a mother and a father that. uh my mother would say don't let this. Define you look at me Joey you're. handsome you're smart you're a decent. young man don't let this Define you. taught me how to fight there used to be. a a joke in when I was growing up in. grade school and high school that uh you. know you could beat up Biden but he'd. hurt you going down right the point was. that it made me realize in our family. this is God's truth conent four of us we.

were never allowed to make fun of anyone. no matter how mean they were to us if. they had something they couldn't. overcome right swear to God if you did. you get your rear end kick when you went. home not a joke and so it taught me that. there's a lot of people dealing with. dilemmas that take away their pride. their dignity I I don't know whether. it's a thing that pushed me about one. like for example even though I was a. stutter I ended up being elected to. class president kind of thing I mean but.

it wasn't I didn't run for that reason. it was something about your dignity and. your pride yeah it it doesn't just. manifest itself in terms of an. impediment you can for example when we. were kids there were a couple Hard Times. financially for my dad and I remember. being invited to was talking to this. about my sister last night my best. friend and we were going to the a catian. at Mount Pleasant High School which was. R the best high school in Delaware and. an that was not overwhelming but a.

fluent area MH and we lived in not bad. area but a less a fluent area and I was. invited to the catian and I went to the. Catholic School uh St Lenas in that. district and it was you know it was just. a little different I remember being. invited and I I was anxious to go and my. mom my I had a uncle who lived with us. at the time he was 5'7 and uh my mom. couldn't find a white shirt for for me.

and so we got one of his shirts and with. French cuffs on it and my mother and and. it fit Loosely but fit my dad had always. wore cuff links to work and my dad had. the cuff links we couldn't find it I. didn't know what to do so my mom goes. downstairs over the washing machine in. the basement in the garage level and. gets two nuts and bolts and brings them. up and puts some on me and I said no. swear to God my word today that's a. fashion statement and I said Mom I can't.

go they're going to make fun of me said. Joey if anyone makes fun of you you turn. around and say you don't have a. pair swear to God true on the health of. my children so I'm I I go the punch bowl. and and this guy Frank grabs me says hey. look at Biden nuts and bolts and. everybody started to laugh and I said. Frank you don't have a pair of these I. swear to God I swear to God he turned. and said yeah I have them I have them I.

have anyway my theory is that if you. stay connected to these things that. embarrassed you when you were a kid. whatever it was speech impediment or. anxiety or feeling awkward or not being. a good athlete I my list goes on and on. and on um having weird hair having a. weird name I wish I had your hair I'd. trade right now if you want you want. this hair it comes off it's a it's it's. it Velcro on the back yeah if I could do. it I would do it I will mail you this.

wig. tomorrow do some polling first on how. people are going to think about that um. but I think what it. does is that it gives you empathy I. think empathy comes from a. sense if you've felt that pain if you. see someone else and you sense that. maybe they're feeling that. pain you're awakens to it and that's I. think the superpower that comes from it. is you have certain you're right when I.

got elected uh I was down here hiring. staff I was using Senator Kennedy's. office over in the capital to interview. staff and uh I got a phone call from my. fire department they put a young woman. on the phone uh and she said there's. been an accident you got to come home. December 18th I wasn't sworn in yet and. uh he said there been your wife's. Christmas shop with your kids my kids. were then 13 months old almost three and.

almost four and uh she just so nervous. as that they're. dead and I was. enraged by it I remember going out of. the Capal looking up in the dome I swear. to God I'm embarrassed about it about. and I had cut I just. screamed and didn't know where my boys. were alive they were badly injured skull. fracture and bow at every bone of his. body broken first he was in a body cast.

arms legs thr. anyway what I learned though is that. after that when I'd show up with a. friend's viewing or family viewing and. they'd stop everything the family would. stop even if we didn't know and they'd. come to me just come to me and I. realized what they're really saying is. he lost what we lost and he and he made. it he's still walking people have to. know that you can persevere you know. yeah and. if you made it through they think well.

maybe maybe I can't maybe I will I've. spend uh a lot of time over my career. with families that. are going through tough times yeah. because you know it gives them some. Solace and I look I want to be clear I. was really lucky yeah I had enormous. help by the time I came home my sister. and her husband had given up their. apartment and already moved in to help. me raise the kid kids my brother did we.

have an expression in our family for. real if you have to ask it's too late if. you have to ask it's too late never had. to ask and think of the people going. through the stuff that we're talking. about they're Heroes they get up every. day put one foot in front of the other. and do it by themselves so I had an. enormous Advantage dealing with my. things I went through I I try to impart. that to my kids that whatever you're. going through even if you're miserable. right now it's going to yield something.

later on of course what you're. describing is the worst thing anybody. can describe and what they're going. through usually is something extremely. minor the scale of it it's the same. principle which is absolutely the scale. varies but help. needed.