Gary Gulman & Conan Speak The Same Old-Timey Language | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

your obsession with comedy or your. interest in comedy goes way back to when. you were a kid and you got to do. something that I dreamed of doing but. never got to do which is you got to go. to a live taping of Johnny Carson's. Tonight Show oh yeah and that's. something I never experienced can you. tell me what that was like yes I was I. was 13 I had just been barn mitzvot and. my brother Max had gone to Spring Break. and been bumped three times uh and back. then in the 19 from the from the. audience from the no I'm sorry that made.

it sound like my brother Max was a guest. on on the night show with Carson no he'd. been bumped by the airline oh I see okay. flying on spring break and and so he had. gotten these these uh tickets they were. they I don't know if they were round. trip but they afforded my mother and I. to go to Los Angeles my brother couldn't. use them because he was starting a job. in Florida so he gave him to us we use. them to go to Los Angeles stayed with my. cousin Dela we waited in line and got.

tickets to get into but I was 13 you had. to be 16 to get into a live taping but I. was already 5'11 or almost six feet. right and so my mother said he's 16 and. then I got in and um I said oh my God we. made it and then an usher said excuse me. how old are you and my mother got right. in her face and she said do you think I. would take a a a child into something as. important as The Tonight Show with. Johnny Carson and and my mother I mean. the lying godess yeah she really got.

your job be great if she got her got. that kid fired and ruined her life so. convincing I felt like I was 16 I was I. had just turned 13 and anyhow it. couldn't have been a better first of all. Johnny did the monologue and he screwed. up one of the lines and retook it and. then when they went to break he said I. really blew the out of that joke. and I said oh my gosh he swore yeah and. you could you didn't hear Johnny Carson. you know what I talked to Robert Smigel. told me that he went to a taping of. Johnny Carson and Johnny Carson when he.

knew it wouldn't cuz it was pre-taped. yeah said in front of the crowd and. they went wild wow so that I think that. was something he liked to do because. everyone thought oh back then the idea. of someone that you knew on TV that. intimately saying the word was. impossible yes and and so that must have. been electrifying it was electrifying. and then the guest was Carrie fiser and. Gary shanon oh my God yeah so so. Princess Leia at her.

and then and then this and Gary at his. chandling oh my gosh and then this. comedian who I only knew from The. Tonight Show and he was so funny and. then he did this bit with it wasn't a. bit I guess but it came off as a bit. with Carrie Fisher where he says uh I. know your parents um uh Debbie Reynolds. and and Eddie fiser do you know my. parents M uh Irv and Muriel Shandling. and oh my and I was in love I was like. here's this guy who's who's Jewish.

neurotic and miserable yet he's flirting. with Carrie fiser and it was that that. was the thing that I always found so. interesting about comedians they they. really had nothing to speak of in terms. of being attractive to to women but all. this confidence and it and it just it. really captured me at a very very young. age I was like that is the only way I'm. ever going to get married is if I'm. super funny like Shandling or or. somebody like that that's fascinating. because I.

realiz you know I I've always I've. talked about this a lot but I always I. think that kids. naturally uh well I'm G to back it up. because I think this is the analogy I've. made but I think when you when you play. a video game you're told here are your. powers or here are your weapons you get. like an inventory yeah and I think all. kids throughout history take an. inventory early on and I remember my. feeling as a kid for me was what what. are all the necessary things I need and. not having them like do I have the looks.

that a grow no do I have am I an athlete. no am I this am I not and and I just. remember kept going through and then. when I found out that I could make. people laugh thinking all right I've got. this I'm going to develop the out. of yes I'm GNA yes and uh then being. able to you know and and mostly being. interested in I want that girl to like. me so yeah and then the big barrier is. she's laughing really hard but I see her.

going to the dance with that other guy. oh yeah yeah yeah he not as funny he's. not or his comedy is is is not as well. worked out right right exactly no he has. no comedy but he has a developed body. yeah who needs that yeah my shallow. chest should be enough for anyone and I. my waisted legs what's wrong with. these my 19th century.

cough the little bits of pink pink foam. from dissolving. lung what's wrong with that why are you. saying those things. though my dad took care of everyone but. me a brilliant scientist who never. noticed that I was dying of. consumption you were the control experim. that was a control. experiment I oh my God I think. consumption is my favorite.

old timey disease because a lot of. people will go tuberculosis but the. people who are familiar go consumption. consumption. also I love um what it's true oh it's. totally I'm totally with Gary on look. you and I speak the exact same. language I like that people used to have. stuff called the flux yeah yeah yeah. yeah or they'd call you a lunger you had. if you if you had a l if you had. consumption they call you a lunger yeah. also I love um that when you get got.

sick back then they would apply a pus. they would apply a mustard pus to your. chest which basically means you know. just covering your chest with mustard. VAP yeah exactly but but they did it for. like someone get shot in the head I. believe when Lincoln was dying of a. bullet the size of an Oreo cookie in his. brain they were like apply a. pus I'm mustard pus will save the.

president did it work kind of cuz when. he died he smelled like a hot. dog and people weren't quite as sad. there were I'm sure there were other. puses there was there was the mustard. about mustard the. remade the toad. F that way he doesn't pull through but. we have a dip we dipping sauce at the.

endis after after after Lincoln died. everyone sat around and they were very. sad and seart seart said now he belongs. to the ages and then somehow someone. produced a bag of tortilla chips and. they just started dipping into his this. stuff little salsa they all just start. crunching God what Mary Lincoln comes in. what are you doing well we can't let. this go to. waste the coffin isn't here.

yet.