Gary Gulman & Conan Remember Their Most Notable Holiday Gifts | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

you and I have a bunch of things to talk. about uh first of all I want to. compliment you in another way which is. you have uh a standup special which has. dropped like literally like two days ago. I think um okay now everyone's. correcting me with four oh great because. we would have had a lot of calls why did. you have to why did you guys have to. correct me on that you're looking at us. like am I right yeah yeah yeah just say. yeah sure close enough idiot that's all. I need you were wrong it's just wrong. with a sof don't do it here now don't do.

it here now don't do it in front of Gary. please okay okay uh don't you mean Jerry. yeah born on born on third base uh is. your is your standup special and it's. hilarious now full disclosure I'm such a. fan that I had some involvement uh with. my and with my people in uh helping to. to bring this to reality but I'm I'm. saying this as someone who hates himself. um how could I'd be more than happy to.

on it if I could uh it's really. really funny and beautifully done thank. you it's really nice and so I I'm I'm. congratulations well I had a lot of fun. touring it and the people liked it and I. and I shot it in Toronto where they're. just so nice and really love comedy and. and so oh my God Canada grateful Toronto. oh my gosh uh that's where I that's. where my ghost is going to go when it. roams the Earth uh doing bits it's going. to go up to Toronto.

that tast and they're so nice they're. they're they're really smart and they. laugh and they're fun yeah and what's. wrong why are you looking at me like. that I just what a weird thing to say. your ghost is going to go to Toronto and. you're just going to do bits yeah I. don't want to go to heaven heaven sounds. boring okay you're just stuck in like. this Purgatory I want to go talk to. Ellen or Roosevelt on a cloud I want to. go up to Toronto and do bits and then go. get like go to a cool restaurant. afterward by definition be a bunch of.

people who love your bits yeah no I. don't like that that that seems. patronizing I wouldn't like that but you. think I'm sorry just going back to this. you think you're going to go to Toronto. you're G to appear as a ghost and people. are just going to be like let's see what. bitsy has yes what's Gary if you were in. Toronto and you knew that I had passed. away in the last year or two and you. heard that my ghost was in Toronto and. he was doing bits somewhere wouldn't you. check him out I would check him out and. then I would also spend a lot of time. seeing Rush.

yeah but no in this scenario they're. dead too but they're also playing no no. no this is my idea of Heaven Rush's Rush. is T Rush is touring and Conan is doing. standup associated with it and and we're. also spending time breaking down some of. the licks uh the guitar licks and things. like that and and also the the I love it. the drum solo this man gets me this is. yeah now sense Gary uh you are a fellow.

Massachusetts masshole like myself. you're from pey Yes um and uh you know. you talk about this a lot in your. special and you've touched on it before. but it really does inform a lot of your. comment uh which is I think uh quite. beautiful but you grew up poor you grew. up this no other way to say yeah we were. broke Jewish people which people think. oh that's a thing and but really most of. us especially in that time of of in the. 70s a lot of people were broke so yes a. lot half the Jews would be broke too.

right everybody was yeah so and that was. that informed me it also it developed my. my personality in in terms of my my. resentment towards certain kids growing. up who had more than us and it didn't. have to be much it could be a an above. ground pool and I would be like oh look. at the look at the opulence with these. people they don't know what it is to. struggle and and and there and and. Christmas used to just blow me away. these kids were just get so much for.

Christmas right and and I would get a. thing eight nights of a thing but some. of them were practical which you don't. want for holidays like what well give me. an example of a practical Hanukkah gift. I remember I everybody says socks but I. would get pajamas which I very rarely. wore right because it just that there's. it was either freezing cold in my house. which required an electric blanket which. I can't even believe those things were. legal at the time they were just fire.

starters but also also could be. electrocut I just know this I just know. this in Massachusetts but every time a. house burned down yes in the in the 50s. 60s or 70s it was you'd see firemen. walking away afterwards because I'd hang. out at these things and they'd. always as a true arsonist does but but. they'd always be like shaking their. heads going and you'd always read in the. paper that it was an electric blanket an. electric blanket or there would be a. fire chief holding up a melted.

lightbrite yes yes and it would be. hopefully it would be the clown because. the clown face would melt into a frown. yeah because he was he was upset by this. as well the clown not just the fire tree. but yeah those were those were the two. biggest fire causes what could go wrong. if you took uh 19 mid 20th century. knowledge of electrical wiring and and. ran it through a bunch of cotton and. nylon like what could go wrong yeah and. and then you go to sleep and just crank.

and crank this thing yeah so uh people. would just burst into flames uh but um. so yeah so you grow up uh in pey and and. what's interesting is you said that it's. it gave you a completely different. perspective than a lot of kids have when. when you grew up not having you grew up. not having stuff and so that you. knew uh just by roote what things cost.

oh yes and and and you had that all down. which you said when you don't have money. you know all of this stuff yes yes. that's what always irritated me I. remember I had this neighbor who went to. a to a summer camp and I was interested. in it because he came back with a and. this is a phenomenon of Jewish summer. camps where these kids who were who were. kind of average Athletics and. attractiveness would go to summer camp. and they would walk taller when they. return because they they were uh sort of.

uh they had C all the Gentile kids from. the group so it was just the Jews were. standing out and the only choice the. girls had or the boys had were were. other Jewish people so there was this. thing and they would be so confident and. they because they had made out with a. girl over the over the summer where they. weren't getting any make out sessions in. in in junior high or or seventh grade or. anything and then they would come back. in the fall and they had more confidence. and I envy this and I remember asking.

the kid well how much does this thing. cost he says I don't know why would I. know how much things cost I said oh you. would ask for something and your parents. would tell you no we can't afford it and. then they would tell you how much. everything cost yes so you do have that. much everything yeah I remember I wanted. this robot called 2XL which was really. just a a an eight track player that they. had somehow it was a brilliant thing. where it would it would ask you. questions and and it was a trivia thing. and and you got informed and it was $.

54.87 in in in toys A R Us where my my. mom worked at the mall and she couldn't. afford a babysitter so I would at 9. years old walk around the mall for 3. hours while she worked and then when the. boss left I could go in there and hang. out at the at the stationary store but I. would walk around hang around at Toys R. R Us and at Sears you could play the. Atari for a while and then the orange. julius kids would give me free Julie. ey I love that you did the plural of. Julius that makes me so happy happy this.

sounds like heaven it was it was. incredible you ever have fried. octopie with your Julie. ey so I was like the the mall mascot. basically and I would I would hang out. at the Toys R Us and and there was this. robot called 2XL and I knew it was 5487. and I would I would every year I would. ask for it and then I would Al but I. also would ask people if I could borrow. $548 which so specific but I hadn't.

worked out the fact that it would. probably be 5% tax and and also the. parents would always say $55 but kids. would always know that there was 54.87. that was a big kid thing so I I think. did you ever get it I did get it my mom. there was a neighbor who who got it and. outgrew it uh several years later and my. mom bought it used from from them and. and gave it to me for my birthday and. and it worked 100% that it just the box.

was damaged cuz cuz it had been. opened I remember at Christmas as being. perilous meaning you something great. could happen but also if you're one of. six wow you can get lost in the show. like yeah and Santa's busy because he's. a he's working at the microbiology. lab. and and sometimes Santa has a short.

F and anyway I remember once we had this. tradition where we're asleep and Santa. would put the gifts they weren't WRA but. they would just each one each one of the. kids in the family had a uh has a piece. of furniture in the living room this. where my parents still live mind you wow. in Brooklyn mass and there's a different. piece of furniture and Luke's toys would. go on a chair and most people had a. chair and then be mine just arbitrarily. became there's this long white couch now.

think about it everything looks tiny and. insignificant on a long white couch and. Santa is busy and there's a lot to do so. there were years where Santa's like okay. I got Neil covered I got Luke I got Jane. I got got Justin we got and then he's. down there and he's throwing stuff. around he's like I got to get back to. the lab I think that germ got out and. then you know I've been working on. something called covid I hope. it's but anyway that was my dad. anyway um what's his name uh Thomas okay.

and so he would be uh I there was one. Christmas where I think he was throwing. everything around and then he got to the. giant white couch and there was some. socks and there wasn't much so never. forget that that was the year he got a. tobogan like for everyone to share but I. come running downstairs and I see this. giant tobogan filling out the couch and. I'm like I got a. tobogan this is insane and I never. forget my dad went ah.

interesting Santa told me on his way out. that it's actually for everyone and I. went huh but it's like the one thing. that's on my couch and he went Santa. said you kind of get to be in charge of. it but it's for everyone and I'm like. first of all you're having a legal. conversation with Santa about ownership. and then how are you in charge of a. tobogan I get to decide who sits. where but that but hey I got over it I'm.

60 and bitching about it on a. podcast the socialism of 1970s massachus. my God and I still to this day when I go. home and that white couch is still there. really and I'm I'll still look at it and. I'll be like. tobogan there was a tobogan and then. like some posits and some socks oh my. God and an electric blanket and then you. know like what kind of and anyway enough.

about me I'm just saying we all suffer I. remember one year I did get a bunch of. Dungeons and Dragons books and you talk. about this you talk about this package. books but unfortunately it came with all. these Dice and the maps and everything. like that but it didn't come with any. any. friends and that is the the greatest. oversight of the of the. TSR company was that yeah kids who are. into this stuff are lonely.