Eric Andre Wishes Drinking Was Good For You | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

have you had pranks go awry or maybe. it's or you're in it and it's not. happening the way you want it to go yeah. that's all that's every day that's every. time you shoot a prank yeah. um. going awry means different things to. different people so going awry can be. great yeah going awry yes I'm in the. going awry business. uh but it not. um getting anywhere the prank being a. dud happens constantly you have to shoot. so much more than actually airs I think.

bad trip probably we shot. you're the final movie you're only. seeing like 30 percent of the stuff we. should right right well that proves my. the thing I've been saying forever which. is to me. um most and it doesn't just apply to. Comedy but when you see something that. you really like it's all about what you. didn't show because I do think there are. people that would look at your stuff and. think yeah that just anytime you go out. and do anything it's all going to be. magic all the time no. 90 of us.

unwatchable. garbage trash. Jesus Take It Easy you okay. I still have those pills are they handy. can you get to them. that's not how it works so in a few. weeks it's gonna kick in man. I wish that you would get on a mood. stabilizer so powerful that it was a.

giant pill and like a horse they had to. put it in a tube and blow it into your. mouth. why why do you want that for me because. it would it would just be funny for me. it's like it's time it's time Eric. you're like oh you open your mouth. and they come in with a big tube and. they get a veterinarian to do it. or else they have a dart gun that they. and they chase you with it and you're. trying to get away. I mean get him in the Carotid like I'm.

harambe or something I got a. three-year-old in my hand whipping them. around. yeah I'm with it I'm okay with that I. wish drinking was good for you I wish it. would that be great it would solve oh my. problem it was feel rich with vitamins. and antioxidants yeah turns out ethanol. is poison yes it's concentrated poison. I'm like oh yeah that's a problem yeah I. also wish uh regular exercise shortened.

your life yes. well I jog I also do weights three day. times a week and I try and get my heart. rate up at least six times a week okay. we gotta stop that are you drinking. well water oh God. no no no no no. sugary fruity rum drinks. you need to drink so many of them that. when you wake up in the morning you wish.

you were dead. you wish that you were dead he's got a. pina colada machine. you're gonna need this back in the day. doctors would smoke cigarettes in this. office yeah while they were talking to. you about your lung X-ray that's insane. you know what's crazy though there are. these people like. um like Winston Churchill obviously an. example of that guy that health nut that. he he hated vegetarians he called them. bean eaters. and and uh but um uh he he ate and he.

drank constantly yeah and uh which all. he'd eat was like roast beef and. Yorkshire pudding yeah and he's he's. he's drinking and he's power smoking. cigars all day long dies at like 94. are. you serious a really long time it's not. fair all these friends of his around him. were you know uh saying it Winston. please get a hold of yourself man and uh. my one of my favorite quotes is Peter.

O'Toole one of the greatest uh you know. uh actors of all time uh late in life. um they said what are you doing now that. you've retired like sir O'Toole because. he made a you know ignited and he said. they said what are you up to these days. because you're acting less what are you. doing and he said how do you spend your. time and he said I uh I attend the. funerals of friends of mine who took. exercise. he's a legendary drinker.

just drank his way through the 60s like. all those guys and George Burns cigars. until he was like 101 years old yeah so. what does that mean is it all genetics. is it just a genetic crap shoot yeah. they do or should I start doing HGH now. and all crazy you should Dwayne The Rock. Johnson kind of drugs I should um that's. a myth It's All Pure what's going on. he's 75 years old no what do what do I. do well uh all joking aside I do think. it's been shown that the uh that the.

cigarette thing is probably a gene. meaning there are people genetically. they don't they haven't I don't think. they've isolated that Gene but there are. people who can smoke and they are much. less less less less likely to get any. kind of lung cancer my guess is that. Keith Richards is like one of those. people you know it's insane to inhale. the combustion of tobacco yeah. steadily steadily since for you know. since 1957 I think Keith Richards.

started smoking in the crib and then uh. and then and then yeah but what about. all the drinking Winston Churchill was. like he was like Jack Kerouac he was. like. that's another thing too where I think. he was drinking throughout the day but. not uh no I don't he was not Jack. Kerouac he was not a blackout drunk he. was not drinking and. um like that he was drinking in a. different way he was drinking in this. sophisticated English imperialist way.

he was drinking It's Five O'Clock. Somewhere is his quote he would drink. gin like all day wouldn't he I don't but. I don't think he was I don't think it. was glug glug glug drinking that's all. I'm saying is and I also think it helps. when you're an imperial power okay. when when you're you know colonialists. they're just uh there's something about. that system that preserves the uh the. organs. it doesn't make any sense no everything. I'm saying so should I take over a. country yes should I take over like a.

small Caribbean island make a monocrop. yes and if you um if you exploit their. resources for your good Cobalt yeah. exactly and then underpay them yeah um. you can drink all you want oh and you'll. live forever. I like the way this is going I'm off to. Papa New Guinea you are an essentially. good person but I keep convincing you to. get Edge fund yep. I'm a slum Lord uh yeah it expired.

Zoloft yeah and then colonize other. countries for your own good all right. that's all you take out of this thing. foreign.