Danny McBride Returns (Full Episode) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

Hi, my name is Danny McBride and I feel. thrilling about being Conan O'Brien's. friend. [laughter]. >> Wait, thrilling. You feel thrilling. Thrilling, not thrilled to be actually. It's so cool the way you said it has. nothing to do with me. >> It sounds to me like plausible. deniability about Yes. [music and singing]. >> Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien. needs a friend.

It's not just me that does this podcast. Uh I am the beneficiary of having very. strong powerful independent voices. joining me. One of those is Sona. Meessian. Hello Sona. Welcome. >> Hello. >> And how can I welcome you when you. already are welcome and you are an. integral part of this whole. >> Matt Gorly. Good to see you as well and. I thank you for your service. No one. gets there alone. So, here we are. together on Conan O'Brien [laughter]. needs a friend and I am.

>> what? >> Sorry. Who are you? >> My name is Conan O'Brien. No, you're. not. >> And I'm someone who's just filled with. gratitude. [laughter]. >> Glad to be here. >> Have Have you been body snatched? I was. body snatched. I I was very tired last. night and I fell asleep next to a. strange new plant I found. [laughter]. >> Oh, no. >> When I woke up this morning, there was a. decayed beady carcass next to me. >> Yeah. >> And then my body felt refreshed and I. like this. Whatever it is. >> I do too. If you ever got body snatched, I feel like we'd all know like right. away and it would just be you being nice.

to us. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Or not doing bits, just being normal. >> That's right. That's how you would know. I would just be uh Hello, Sona. How are. you? And how are how's your family? >> You'd be interested in the answer and. you would wait for a response. >> You know, it' be funny the minute I if. there were body snatchers out there, if. I came in and all I had would have to do. is say, "Hi, Sona. How are you?" And you. would shoot me in the head with a. shotgun. [laughter]. >> Yes. Yes, I would. >> And you'd be right. >> Yes, I would. 100%. I would know. immediately. >> I remember there was an episode of The. Simpsons back in my time where I think.

it was one of the Halloween episodes. There's zombies that are taking over. Springfield and Homer's shooting zombies. left and right. And then Flanders pops. up in a window and and and Homer shoots. his head off and someone says, "Um, how. did you know that he was a zombie?" And. he went, "He was a zombie. [laughter]. I just always I just always love that. joke that he blew Flanders head. [laughter] off, not even thinking about him being a. zombie or not. [laughter].

>> You shot zombie Flanders. >> Flanders was a zombie. Uh anyway, um no, I'm uh I just wanted to give credit. where credit's due. And I think this is. a village. We do it together. >> I know. It's really unsettling. >> What have you done with. >> I want to talk about something which is. I always have ink on my hands. I don't. know if that comes up on the podcast, but. >> I don't think it has. I write a lot with. uh pens and I'm constantly doodling and. I always have a pen in my hand and I'm. constantly writing notes in a journal or. on a scrap of paper and uh lately I've.

been using this fountain pen that Jeff. Ross got me uh for my birthday which is. really nice and I use it all the time. but it does bleed a little bit of ink. and I'm constantly. >> Does it squirt? >> What's that? >> Does it squirt novelty? >> No, I'm not I'm not doing anything. It. doesn't. No, no. It's just that it's. just that when you're working around. bottles of ink and stuff like that. And. I kind of like it all my life. I've been. >> It's like an actual fountain pen with. liquid. >> Yeah. It's really nice. And I'm not This. is not an ad. It's I think it's an.

Aurora. It doesn't. >> It's an Aurora. It's really nice. It's a. good pen. And he got it for me and I. really like it and thanks again, Jeff. And. >> I use it all the time. But look at my. hands. And I noticed when we were in, we. were just shooting a travel show, Sona, and you're with me or in all of my. different travels, I'm always about to. go on camera, and I see that there's ink. over my right hand everywhere, and I. just look like a little spy. >> First of all, feel how warm this is. What have you been doing with this pen?

>> Well, I keep it in a safe place. >> Why is it leaking so much? And I said I. said, you guys, >> don't diss the Aurora pen. It's just. that sometimes No, no, no. You got to. God, you're not just look. See, >> I'm writing with the pen incorrectly. No, see, whatever you're. >> You went like this and with a with a. with a with a fountain pen, you need to. come at it with an angle. You were. coming at it straight down and that's. just stupid. >> Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was writing. Huh? I feel. >> Yeah. Well, I know he's I think he's. >> No, I always hold it and I flip it. around in my hand. >> Oh, okay. Uh and I always do that with.

pens. >> Why are pens like that better than. normal pens? >> I'm not Well, they're beautiful looking. >> Yeah, they are. And um it's just kind of. nice. I've always been a little bit Even. when I was a kid, I told you I loved. pens, paper. I wanted office supplies. >> I mean, what a freaky kid. I wasn't. asking for a baseball glove. I wanted a. little stamp that said void. >> stationary. I wanted ledgers. I wanted. ledgers. I wanted [laughter]. >> Did you get them? God.

>> Um yeah, my parents were very nice to. me. They were they would indulge me. But. I remember thinking all I want to do is. be able to sign forms and then stamp. them [laughter] and then put them in a. pneumatic tube like in the 1920s and. Home Depot in the '90s. >> Exactly. So I just uh I was always into. that. But anyway, I'm just getting a. little self-conscious now that uh you. know I go to these nice events or events. where I'm supposed to be on camera and I. sometimes I look at the picture later on. and there's just it looks like I've.

crawled out of a grave. >> Oh yeah. >> I think you're doing it wrong. >> What? I think you're just writing. incorrectly. You know what you need is. >> No, this from the person who I'm not. going to talk about the I'm just saying. the angle with which you attack to say. there's no ink on my finger, but there. is. [laughter] But there is. >> You need some of that um powder that. like Shakespeare would throw on it after. they write, you know, that that soaks it. up. Yeah. Yeah. Um I think it was just. sand back in the day. I don't know. >> Do you have a quill? >> Uh I don't have a quill. I've never had. a quill. >> Okay. But. >> I feel like you're a quill guy. I I feel.

like they're very You're very quesill. Have you seen my blotters over the. years? I would just fill them with what. little. >> So many doodles. We kept them all. They. were on your desk and then when they. would fill up, I would replace them and. then you would just doodle away. >> Just blanket them. Uh and you could. probably tell my mood if you looked at. like, oh well here's a d here's a a. here's a blott from. >> 1997. You could probably tell what was going. on in my life. Well, even right now in. your journal, you've written in some.

kind of hieroglyphics. >> Yeah, I write I try and No, I just try. and create little languages and I I like. uh making lines. But anyway, that's what. I got is that I'm covered in ink all the. time now and I [clears throat] need to. um I need to I need to clean up my. a little bit here. >> Give me a I've completely stopped using. pens and paper. I'm I'm I'm past that. I. got a Kindle Scribe that I've started to. to doodle on, which is great. >> Yeah. So, are you trying to get a free. one? Why would you bring this up? >> No, I'm just saying I if you need a.

solve, you can move into the digital age. instead of going back to better move. forwards. You can email yourself notes. It's great. I um No offense, but I like. the tactile nature. >> This is tactile. Listen, I'm very. suspicious, Blle, and for good reason. that you mentioned it's a Kindle scribe. because we can take that out because B. We're going to leave it in because based. on your past behavior, I think you're. going to try and write that off now. I. think you are. No, I know you write it. off because you know what? I was gone. for that. And Blle, we got to talk, man.

>> Can I [laughter] You know what? If we. brought that up again, you know, you're guilty of the same. thing that we're going to continue this. in the segment after the interview. It. will be actually part four of Blaze tax. saga, >> tax evasion scandal. And by the way, BL. is guilty of the same thing that put. Capone in prison. [laughter]. >> Okay, take us to take us to the intro. My guest today is a hilarious writer, producer, and actor behind such shows as. Eastbound and Down, Vice Principles, and. The Righteous Gemstones. He now has a.

new book titled Thrilling Tales of. Modern Men. Very excited he's back on. the podcast. Danny McBride, welcome. Danny, as you know, I'm a massive fan of. yours. Have been since day one. Well, the feeling is mutual. >> and I'm just thrilled that you're here. and we have a lot of stuff to talk about. and we'll talk more in depth about it in. a little bit, but you wrote a book of.

short stories. um called Thrilling Tales of Modern Men. and you write so well and the stories. are great and I I'm very proud of you. and also jealous cuz I like to write. I. haven't gotten my together to do. something like this. And um this is. fantastic. And then the thing I'm most. jealous of is the first quote. You know, you get, >> you know, known people to write a nice. quote on the back. Yours is from Sturgil.

Simpson. >> And I love Sturgil Simpson. >> He's the best. >> And so much so that I I I have a a band. on the side and I play Sturgil Simpson. And I've said to people, I'd like to get. to know Sturgil Simpson. And people. said, he was on your show. [laughter]. And I'm like, I know, but it's not the. same. Like, I wish Sturgil Simpson was. my friend. He's such a good writer. Such. a good make that happen. I could I could. negotiate that meeting. I'm sure I I.

could. Yeah. >> It's going to end up with me, a suitcase. of cash in a parking lot late at night. >> Yeah. >> Where the deal goes down. >> We'll meet you around the world. somewhere. One of your uh destinations. for your show. I would love to hang with. both of you at the same time. Um, but. uh, this book, we will talk about it, but I want to start on some other stuff. first, which is who the do you. think you are? [laughter]. >> Let me tell you. >> Let me tell you something. I don't like. you and I don't like your comedy. I.

don't like your southern ways. I'm from. Boston C. [laughter]. Um, you know, I was thinking about you, reading up about you, and one of the. things that we really have in common was. how important Saturday morning cartoons. were to us and sort of our comedic. outlook. >> You were watching. Um, first of all, you. took it really seriously. I remembered. my brothers and I did, too. We would. study the Saturday morning lineup cuz it. it would refresh that. It was a big. thing back in the day. Now, I think new.

shows come and go all the time, but. if you're like me, I'm older than you, but I remembered in the summer, you'd. start reading about the shows that were. going to come out in the fall, what the. schedule and the lineup was going to be. You'd circle the ones that were. interesting to you in the TV guide. They'd be, you know, you you'd talk. about it, and then you we were there. Saturday morning. >> I would like get up and have coffee. >> Oh, yeah. And I was like five [laughter]. >> pounding it to get through coffee and a.

couple cigarettes. >> I got to make it to Smurfs. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> And then I would watch these shows with. real interest, you know. Uh so you were. watching. >> probably the thing that influenced me. the most was not a new show. It was. Warner Brothers cartoons. >> Um the you know the Looney Tunes. characters. They influenced my comedy. timing everything. And you were into. Daffy Duck. >> I was into Donald Duck. >> Donald Duck. >> Yeah. I like I don't respect that.

>> I like how I like how angry he was. [laughter]. >> He was always so pissed off. And it was. just such a funny uh so funny against. someone like Mickey who just literally. never loses his temper. Okay. And then. he's just buddies with the angriest guy. who's ever [laughter] existed. >> All right. Well, I got that wrong. So. now we're talking about. >> Duck is very cool, too. I love I love. Donald Duck because I mean Daffy Duck. because he's he really is uh. disturbingly insane. >> Yeah, he is.

>> Um. >> he can pull his beak off and put it. around the back of his head sometime. >> But I mean just just he needs to be. medicated. He needs to go to Mlan [laughter]. Hospital in Massachusetts. Um and we're all laughing, but it's like. no, no, no. He's We know what this is. now. >> If he was on TV now, he would get the. care that he needs. Yes. [laughter]. >> But so you like Donald Duck. Donald Duck. is so pissed. >> Oh, so pissed. >> Yeah. >> And everything. The whole universe is. always on him all the time.

>> Yes. [laughter] Like. >> he just has his little blue shirt on. Just walking around pissed off. >> That that [laughter] awful blue shirt. >> Little hat. >> And no pants. And no pants. No pants at. all. >> Maybe I think that's why he's pissed. [laughter]. >> Yeah, it probably is. >> Walk around with no pants for a while. and you'll just be an angry guy. Busy. hot. >> [laughter]. >> Not that hot. It is when you have no. pants. >> So, you watched that and you watched. >> my my lineup was uh the Dungeons and. Dragons cartoon show. That was awesome.

Uh. >> yeah. I mean, I'm trying to think of. what else came in the the littles. Do. you I don't know if you're. age. What year were you born? >> I was born in 76. >> 73. So, yeah, the little snorts. >> You were a little too old to be watching. the littles. Let's be [laughter] honest. I was almost aging out. >> I was a late boomer. And what I bloomed. into was disturbing. [laughter]. >> I just have to admit, I was watching. Save by the Bell when I was 45 years. old. [laughter]. Those dudes were. >> Those girls are pretty, dude. You're 45.

>> You're here in a You're here in an. electronic store watching Say by the. Bell on nine televisions. You've been. here every morning. >> Um, >> yeah, >> the littles were awesome, though. It was. >> What are the littles? I don't even know. what that is. Their their theme song was. literally we are the littles. Uh they. just said their name and they were just. tiny people that lived in someone else's. house. >> A normal people normal people but they. would like make their beds and stuff out. of like matchboxes and they would like. design [laughter]. things like that, you know, but they.

would use it to their advantage. >> Cutesy animated. They kind of all look. like elves almost. >> Yeah. Somebody should somebody should. remake that. Then you mentioned shirt. tales. I remember that. That was such a. strange concept for a show which was. just animals who their shirts said. stuff, right? That was it. >> Wait, what? >> That was that was the concept. >> Animals that wear clothing. >> They wear shirts. >> They wear shirts and their shirts say. things. >> Yeah, I think they change depending on. their emotions and stuff, right? >> I believe so. >> So, the shirts are like a mood ring, but. they have words on them. >> and they might not have worn pants. They.

might have. Yeah. Oh, there we go. And. see again the the trend of no pants. >> Yeah, just shirts. >> You know what? I walked through a mall. wearing a shirt that said, "Hug me with. no pants." [laughter] Not one person. hugged me. >> Watching. [laughter] Yeah. >> I guess the security guard, it's kind of. a hug when they pull you to the ground. [laughter]. >> Yeah. That that that counts. That. counts. >> That's what they were doing. >> Um, so you're growing up. That's. important to you. You're raised Baptist. >> Yeah.

>> Yep. And uh your mom used to perform at. the church. She would write out like. skits and do the scripts and make. puppets and she would do a little show. Yeah. >> That must have influenced you. >> It definitely did. Uh yeah. I mean my I. remember I was like surprised when she. even took it on like you know we just. went to church then suddenly my mom is. stepping up into this position where. she's going to do puppet shows in front. of the whole church right I was like how. are you going to do this mom? Do you. know about puppets? Do you know how to.

do puppet stuff? [laughter] She does. Uh. but yeah, they would she would kind of. like drum up these like two to three. page little uh scripts and then she. would it would it was her it was my dad. sometimes and then it would be other. people from the church playing some of. the other characters and it was just. like the children's sermon before the. big sermon. They would uh you know so. it'd be something you know thou shalt. not steal or whatever and it's just a. little skit about a kid who steals like. lunch money at school and why you. shouldn't do it. But it was, you know, I. think what was cool about it was the.

idea of being able to see something. create it and then like a few days later. performed in front of people and then, you know, my from my point of view, I'm. not doing the puppets. I'm not I don't. have anything I don't have anything to. do with it. I'm just sitting there. watching the process. Like I'm seeing. her in our kitchen writing these scripts. and like, you know, running the lines. and then a few days later I'm at church. like looking around watching people. watch it and respond to it. And, you. know, I just thought it was cool. I. think that was like the beginning of me. sort of like even understanding like oh. this is like something you could do. You.

can you can write things in your kitchen. and people might respond to it. >> Were you quite religious then when you. were a kid when you were Baptist? >> I wouldn't say I was religious. I think. I spent most of my time like you know. doodling on the the minister's face and. the program or [laughter]. or just imagining what else. >> I think we went to the same I think I'm. whatever religion you are I'm that. religion. Yeah. [laughter] Uh but it's. funny cuz now that you know we I stopped. going probably in middle school but we. went all the time. But then you look. back like oh it was actually kind of.

awesome that for like an hour you had to. just be forced to sit there and be quiet. while you know and I think my. imagination would run wild during that. time. >> Me too. I was Catholic so I went to. Catholic mass but. >> you guys had to stand up and sit down a. lot more than. >> stand up and sit down. >> We could just be lazy. We could just sit. there every now and then clap along to a. song. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. But we had to stand up and sit. down a lot. But there's still a lot of. time to look around. >> I would just look around St. Lawrence's. Church and like I would look up and just. imagine all kinds of insane things. because you're not allow you weren't on.

a tablet. They didn't have tablets then. >> and uh you just you had to you were. trapped with your mind and I wasn't. thinking about the stuff I was supposed. to be thinking about. Um, you said that. your you have said that you your parents. got divorced and that also probably had. an effect on whatever you questioning. this whole Baptist thing. >> Yeah. I just saw it as you know I don't. think it's it was exclusive to like the. the Baptist church but it was at that. time in the 80s it was sort of like you. know people weren't getting divorced as. much and especially at the church I.

think. So, it was just we after it kind. of happened, I felt like my mom didn't. really feel like welcome there as much. And so, then she would drop me and my. sister off and we're like, "Well, we're. only going cuz you were going. We ain't. trying to go to this thing by [laughter]. ourselves.". >> You walk in, you peek, the cars left, and then you guys go out the back door. >> Yeah. And you know, the cool thing about. that church I went to is called Salem. Baptist Church. It was in uh. Spennsylvania, Virginia, but it was. actually a church that was around during. the Civil War. So, um, it was just kind.

of wild to go to some little church that. was like, "Oh, this was like standing.". >> Was it the same spot? >> Yeah. >> As the battle. >> Yeah. Yep. Same one. Yeah. A lot of lot. of Civil War action in my hometown. >> Yeah. >> Lots Those are na Those are those are. nasty battles, too. >> That That area, too, had some of the. nastiest battles. Like, I think it is. it's known as the bloodiest ground in. all of North America because of how many. uh battles were there. But the gnarliest. one I think is that battle of wilderness.

that was there. And that's like this. insane battle that happened over the. course of a few days in the forest. The. forest was on fire and guys were. literally just like hatcheting each. other. I mean it was like it was awful. It was insane. And. >> yeah, it's uh killer. I used to go there. all the time and just enjoy myself. Watch. Think about that. That brutality. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Good times. >> So great. Great. That's a good. [laughter] That's a good That's a good. first date. I've I've talked about this.

on the podcast, but I'm a you know, history buff and a Civil War guy. And I. remembered what my wife and I It's. People think it was our honeymoon. It. was not. It was after we got married, but just shortly after, like a couple of. months later, I had a week off from the. late night show. >> That's a honeymoon, isn't that? >> No, we had our honeymoon and then we. came back from it. But then maybe two. months later, I had a week off and she. said, "Let's take a trip." And I said, "Yeah, let's drive down through Georgia.

and visit the different towns in. Georgia." And you know, she liked it. And then the next thing you know, I'm. saying, she said, "Where are we going to. now?" And I said, "Andersonville.". >> And she said, "What's that?" And I said, "That's the giant prisoner of war camp. where the Confederates kept all the. Union troops, didn't feed them, and they. all died of diarrhea.". and she said, "We're going to Atlanta to. the Four Seasons Hotel [laughter]. and we're going to drink Appleinis and. get our diarrhea there." [laughter]. >> So, we did that instead. But.

>> I think you had a great idea. >> I think I had a great idea. Think of all. looking at a field. Think of all the. diarrhea. [laughter]. >> The World Cup is all about what's next. The future of the sport. The player. nobody saw coming who suddenly becomes a. star. >> Mhm. Hyundai, official partner of the. 2026 FIFA World Cup, believes the next. starts now. Now, personally, I don't. know what's next for me. I hope that I. uh become the uh inventor of some. amazing piece of tech. >> Oh boy.

>> And uh yeah, it explodes and I become. this legendary tech uh CEO giant. >> Okay, >> but I'm just waiting around for that to. happen. But for Hyundai, they're not. waiting for the future to arrive. They're building it now. Nice. >> With innovative vehicles, advanced. technology, and by helping support the. next generation of soccer stars, or as. many people say, football. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> From cars to robotics, they didn't come. to the 2026 FIFA World Cup to play. around. Instead, they're looking ahead,

growing, evolving. Eduardo, you're. following it very closely. Who are you. rooting for? >> USA, baby. I'm very excited. They uh. >> USA has has been doing well so far. >> Amazingly well. Yes. And you know it. there was a time there where people. thought America's never going to really. participate successfully in this sport, but it's happening. >> Yeah, I was one of the doubters maybe at. the beginning of this tournament. >> Well, you've never really rooted for our. country. [laughter]. >> That's true. >> But some of us do and some of us. believe. Uh all the stuff I just said is.

pretty crazy and stupid. The point is. Hyundai, the future of football and. Hyundai isn't coming. It's already here. Isn't that incredible? Hyundai, official. partner of the 2026 FIFA World Cup. One. of the things that made the Righteous. Gemstones just so great was. you knew your subject. You kn you you. understood these these people. And also, I always sense there's affection there, too. Like, I don't think it works to.

make a comedy about people if you just. think they're stupid and loathome. >> Totally. And that's not what you did. You had a real understanding and. affection for these people and found. them ridiculous but also. uh understood them at the same time. Does that make sense? >> I it does make sense and I think we were. that is what we were trying to do and I. think we extended to a lot of the stuff. from even you know eastbound device. principles. sort of, you know, we know. that we're not dealing with like the.

best examples of mankind and uh and I. but I think that it's fun to treat them. still with uh with a little bit of. empathy and even giving them enough. depth so you know there's layers there. I think it I think when comedy is. written where there is such a disdain. for what you're joking about, it could. kind of become boring. I think it. becomes more unexpected if you're. confused as the audience of where you. even kind of sit with this person. >> I mean, I talk about this now. I do. think it's very tricky. You always have. to have a blend in comedy if you're just.

thinking about the comedy and obviously. we're very divided right now in this. country and people are yelling at each. other a lot and it's very vitriolic and. I think sometimes that I don't know it. just makes comedy if if you want to talk. about it or portray it in any way the. only way to do it is to show some nuance. and empathy for a different point of. view. But that's not what a lot of people are. interested in. Yeah. Does that make. sense? >> It totally makes sense. Then the thing. is when everyone is kind of like on both.

sides are angry about the same exact. stuff. It also just makes any comment. you're making sort of feel redundant. like people it's like welltraveled. paths, you know. So I do think when you. can find that nuance, you you probably. have a better shot of actually like. making people think if it's not. something that they've been shouted out. about over and over again. And I think. it's interesting to me is that you you. came to be known through comedy and. hugely successful in comedy, but you've. also carved out time to do these other. things. You you uh were a huge force.

behind the Halloween franchise, the. reboots. And it's so fascinating to me. because I've always thought there's a. weird like a. sometimes they people say or I've said. many people have said it there's a. symbiosis between comedy and music like. a lot of comedians also love music and. there's some kind of weird parallel. I. also think there's something going on. between comedy and horror. There's some.

They're very different, but also there. are things about them that aren't that. different because it's all about. surprise. >> Exactly. I think you're you're with both. of them, you're structuring an. experience. You know, you're uh with a. joke, you you'll you know, you obviously. want to pace things out so that the. punch line gets the biggest laugh. And I. think it's the same way with those. scares. You you think about how you. know, oh, we'll make them a little. scared here and then we'll let them off. the hook here and then boom, we'll hit. them here. So I think there is a little. bit of that is is similar is the yeah.

the architecture of trying to make sure. you get the result that you're going. for. If you look at Jordan Peele, his. work, if you look at um uh Obsession, if. you look at weapons, a lot of these. people have got their chops in comedy. And then you I you know when I was. watching weapons last year and and one. of the reasons that I really wanted to. do something with it on the Oscars was. that that character of Aunt Glattis is.

to me a comedy character and there's so. much of the movie that's kind of funny. at the same time and it's that weird. that's that razor thin line between this. is hilarious and this is horrifying. Yep. And many times when I've been. trying to be funny in my career, I've. been horrifying. [laughter]. But. and if I tried to, you know, frighten. [laughter]. any guy, I think they would just start. laughing. So, but there's something.

going on there. And so, it it must have. been a great creative outlet for you. Clearly, it was. >> It was a lot of fun. And you know that. was Jason Blum had come to David Green. about uh adapting that and uh you know. David Green and I have gone to college. We went to college together. We've known. each other for a really really long. time. And you know he came to me and was. like I think I might do this. Uh would. you want to help me? I'm like no way. We. you shouldn't relaunch Halloween. It's a. terrible idea. [laughter] I I love. Halloween. Don't do that. Uh but then as. we were thinking about it I was like.

well I mean if someone's going to why. don't we give it a shot and let's see if. we could. And uh yeah, it was honestly. it was like unreal. It was so funny to. be sitting there like writing on that. script and you're just writing, you. know, the shape walks into the room. You. know, you're kind of. >> I was formed in [laughter] that movie. My babysitter made me watch it when I. was five with the lights out. And so to. like do away with all those sequels that. in their own way I love, but to come. back the way you guys did with the 2018. one, >> oh man, it was like closure for me.

>> The whole experience was awesome. not. only getting to do that, but even, you. know, we had to go through steps of. approval to do it. Like David and I had. to go to John Carpenters's house and. pitch him what we wanted to do. And it. was sort of like I I've never really. been nervous about pitching an idea. ever. I was just like, they don't like. it. They don't like it. But suddenly, as. we're like knocking on his door, it's. like, oh god, I think I'll be crushed if. he doesn't like [laughter] what this. idea is. This is insane. And so we, you. know, I'm meeting him and pitching him. this idea like we we have an idea of.

what we want to do with something you've. made. [laughter] It was all of a sudden. like what the balls of us. What are we. thinking? We should never have. >> great. >> It was awesome. And then, you know, we. once we got his approval, we sent it to. uh to Jam Lee Curtis to because. obviously it wouldn't work without her. in it. >> And uh yeah, when she called back and. was like, "Yeah, I want to do this." I. mean, Green and I are just looking at. each other like, "What is going on?" I. mean, it was it was insane. And when it. premiered at uh at TIFF, I think it. might have been the most proud I've ever. been of anything that we've done. I.

mean, I was so nervous of what that. reception was going to be for that one. because I'm I'm there with them. I'm a. fan of this. It meant a lot. And I just. really wanted it to work for the other. fans. And I remember watching that and. just my stomach was in nuts. I wasn't. like eating for like two days leading up. to it. And we're sitting there and when. it got to the last half where they're. like in the house with them and. everybody in the theater's like cheering. and applauding. I was just like, "Oh. god." [laughter] Yes. Yes. Oh, I'm going to live. [laughter]. It It was It was awesome. It was so much.

fun. Yeah. >> I also think writing how someone gets. killed. >> Yeah. >> would be kind of fascinating because. there is a real art to it, you know, just just if if the character just gets. killed, well, that's, you know, guess. gets shot. It's boring. It's trying to. think of these inventive ways that are. sometimes 50% comedy. >> Yeah. >> The way someone, you know, and and if. you watch these movies as they're. competing with each other to do it in a.

more interesting way, >> that's the scene at the rest stop when. Michael Myers comes in and just drops. teeth on the ground [laughter] from. >> It's harrowing. >> Well, yeah. I I think that idea about. the teeth dropping it might have even I. I might be remembering it wrong but I. feel like it was uh our location our. buddy who works in locations who had. that idea and so that's the other thing. is you're working on a you know if. you're on a comedy sometimes you'll get. jokes from people s like oh you should. say this like oh it's not bad when.

people suggest things like he should. drop the teeth you're like great idea. but also keep an eye on this dude I. don't [laughter]. that is up. Yeah. Where'd you come up with that. idea? >> UH [laughter]. sometime I don't know. I don't want to. talk [laughter] about I mean I want to. take the credit but uh. >> um. >> that's fantastic. [laughter]. It just occurred to me that it would be.

I don't know it' be really funny to. shoot a short thing where it's you going. to John Carpenters's house to pitch him. and he doesn't really like the idea but. you hang around and then you use all the. tropes from horror movies like he goes. into the kitchen at night and opens the. refrigerator door and then when he shuts. it you're right there [laughter]. >> and you're like I just REALLY THINK I. TOLD YOU I DON'T WANT TO DO IT. >> The pitch. >> Yeah. It's just the pitch. [laughter]. >> It's called the pitch. >> Yeah. Season of the pitch. >> Yeah. season of the pitch and you just. keep.

>> I don't let it go. >> Yeah. You know I'm. >> his I become his dog. Yeah. It's all. this Exactly. It's all this stuff that. has been used a million times. [laughter]. >> I'm always amazed now when people use. some of those tropes that have been used. way too many times and they don't put a. spin on it. Like really. >> that's why we're talking about Widow's. Bay. There's a there's a slasher episode. and a moment with a shotgun that you. wish you'd seen in slasher movies for. decades and you finally see it and it's. wonderful. Widow's Bay is they're I mean. >> I can't wait to see it. Everyone I know.

loves it. And here's what I have that on. my list. >> Here's what I I they're doing something. new on that show. Um which is it's not a. comedy. It's horror and there's comedy, but they've got this ratio. It's like. they invented this cocktail. >> that's kind of perfect. And I don't. think anyone's done quite that yet. >> That's great. I think one of the real. brilliant things about the show is. they'll get the tension up to this. highest pitch and then they'll always.

deflate it in this kind of humiliating. way but then get the pitch right back. again and without giving anything away. but there's just one point where there's. a there's like a demon and the main. character Matthew Reese has gone in to. to talk to the demon and this other. woman says you got to go in there and. talk to the demon. So he goes in and. he's starting to talk to the demon and. it's like knife's edge tense and then. the door just opens and she goes, "I. forgot my purse." [laughter] And the.

demon and Matthew Reese wait a second. while she gets her purse and she backs. out. You're like, "WHO THE DOES. THAT?". >> Who does that? >> That's great. >> Anyway, I don't know why we're plugging. this show that neither one of us is. involved in, [laughter]. >> but Widow's Bay, you you're a genius. >> Oh, that's killer. >> I just have to give a shout out. Katie. Dippold is the mind behind Widow's Bay. >> I think she's brilliant and she's a. former intern on our show and she's I. she's brilliant. She's done a ton of.

other work, but I think Widow's Bay is. her masterpiece. And also, while we're. talking about other people's work, [laughter]. I think Hyundai makes an incredible boy. >> They've come a long [laughter] way. >> Oh boy. Um, let's talk about this book because. Thrilling Tales of Modern Men, I know. that this is a theme you've worked on. for a while in your work over the years, which is men. kind of trying to confront maybe a world. that's passed them by or men who feel.

Well, you're you're going to describe it. better than I am. >> No, no, you keep going. I want to hear. how you describe it. [laughter]. >> No, you're you're you're totally right. >> Men like me who are masculine and never. lose. >> [laughter]. >> Uh, I'm going to do Oh, actually I can. read from a New York Times review. Um, >> okay. [clears throat and cough]. >> This is It says, "No, I'm. elementary." [laughter]. It's a very entertaining review that one. yet. >> No. No. This is the New York Times. What. a piece of Shitty shitty shitty.

What the hell? >> My mom wrote that. [laughter]. >> I thought this was in my toilet, but it. was No, it's a book. [laughter]. No. New York Times review. Uh, some of. the stories fit neatly into the cannon. of wounded protagonists who lash out. Others tip toward a quieter emotional. depth. Uh, albeit laced with obscenity. and the occasional violent outburst. They're all undeniably the work of a. storyteller interested in entertaining. while also poking at what makes men tick. and then go boom, which is Yeah, I'd buy.

that book. [laughter]. >> You'd write that book. >> I don't have to cuz I don't have to cuz. you gave me one for free. [laughter]. Um, not for free. >> I need I need the Venmo. It's coming. It's coming because I'm real good with. tech. [laughter]. Um, but this comes out of like you're. very you're so good and I'm going back. to even if you know your first work uh. Footfist Way and through everything. you've done at. um and also you know Donald Duck like.

people who are uh you know assertive. male characters that are also pissed off. and frustrated because things aren't. working out. >> Yeah. And that seems to be this area. that you love exploring and now you've. got this really terrific book of short. stories that tackles that. >> Yeah. It's just, you know, it's an. extension I feel like like what you were. saying about the the work I've done in. TV. Like this kind of came to me because. I really just wanted to see could I do.

that and deliver that same experience, that same vibe, the same level of uh. storytelling. Could I do it in a totally. different format? And that was kind of. why I entered this. And you know, even. the way the stories are sort of. structured, like they start in essence. with like a cold open and the title of. the story like comes up later in the. story. >> And uh so it was kind of a way of me. sorting trying to translate what I I. mean I've written at this point like. over 80 episodes of TV. >> Uh and so it trains your brain to work. in a certain way when it comes to.

storytelling. And I was just trying to. use some of the stuff I learned doing. that to just put it into a totally new. endeavor. Also, it it feels too like if. you're writing episodic television, as. you have, you know, brilliantly over the. years, you've got these characters, you. want to get multiple seasons, and you. set up your own rules, and you set up. who your, you know, protagonists are and. your side characters, and then that's. what you've got to work with over and. over and over and over again. And with a.

project like this, you can have an idea, explore it in a short story. >> Totally. >> And then uh pivot, say, "Okay, I'm done. with that. Now it's going to be about a. robot. Now it's going to be about a. magician uh who's suspended in a box in. a mall and gets in over his head. Now. it's going to be about a sitcom actor. who takes revenge on the coyote that. killed his pet." like you you you you're.

working in a shorter form, but you can. go you can go nuts, which is great. >> You can go nuts. And you know, Gemstones, I was writing on that for, you know, seven years basically. And it. was so much fun. And it was fun writing. for all those characters and that world. that we established was a ton of fun. Uh, and it's weird, you know, like when. you when you've worked that long on. something, once it's over, it is like. almost like a breakup. It's like getting. over a relationship or something that I. wanted to write more, but I felt like I. ain't trying to get into anything too. serious. I just need I need to get in.

and out. I just need some short stories, you know? I felt like I couldn't like. commit myself to telling a story that. was going to take that much time, you. know? And so, the idea was like, I think. there's just a lot of stories I want to. tell. And this allowed that to happen. where you didn't have to think of the. story of like, well, will this have legs. for four years? Well, this, you know, when you tell this one episode, it has. to connect to six other episodes that. tell a story. It's like you could enter. it, start it, and take it to completion. in one sitting. And um yeah, it was it.

was a lot of fun. And I think after. writing so much TV, it was uh yeah, it. was just sort of a a cleanse that I. needed. What is your process? I know it. sounds like a boring question, but to. me, it's fascinating. Do you do you. write these stories here and there or. did you sit down to write a collection. of short stories? you know, I started. the I think there's only like maybe one. or two of them that are from this, but. how I even began even writing in this. format was when we were writing Vice. Principles, it was we we wrote both of.

those seasons in one year. So, it was. one solid year of just working on that. morning, noon, and night. And it was uh. I was about I think about 5 months in, I. was feeling that thing of like, oh, I. love these guys, but I have to do. more with these guys. you're locked in a room mentally with. these few characters. >> and you're just trying and it's a it. becomes a puzzle figuring it all out and. >> I was just sort of like the idea of. anything else felt appealing. So I just. start I start this thing where in the. morning before I'd go into the writer's. room I would just freehand write like.

anything I wanted and I would just get. to about three or four pages and I would. stop it and I had no ambitions for what. any of it would be. It didn't have to be. anything. I didn't have to continue the. same story. just whatever idea I wanted. to, I would just let myself write that. And I did that for the rest of that. year. I ended up filling up like four. books full of just all this stuff. And I. put it away and didn't uh go back to any. of it. And it really did kind of help my. brain as I was writing by Sprinkles. It. helped me exercise different ideas and. get things out and kind of stay excited. when I would go into the writer room.

And then I guess it was around 2020, I. just like pulled those books out and. looked at them for the first time, like. was there anything in here that was like. worth anything? And most of it sucked, but there were a few things that uh that. just kind of got my imagination going or. I was like, "Oh, it'd be kind of. interesting if this thing continued or. if I wrote more on this, I would do this. with it." And so that was kind of the. beginning of it. I pulled out of those. books probably about maybe like eight to. 10 of the little kind of like snippets. of stories and then started focusing on. expanding those things. And then as I. did that, I ended up getting rid of most.

of them. I kept like one or two. Um and. then I just kind of was like, I want to. do this. I want to try to like create a. a book that I put this sort of level of. thought into. And um yeah, and then that. just became, you know, I was kind of. teaching myself how to do it. Um I. thought the big difference between doing. this and then writing a script is with. the script, there's always someone else. really talented going to come in to make. it better. You know, whether it's like. an actor is going to come in or the DP. is going to make it look cool. And it. was kind of interesting to have it where.

you're like, "Oh, I'm just writing this. and then I really need to go I need to. do all that stuff myself. I need to make. sure that this is translated to people. the way I'm imagining. >> Yeah. Ernest Hemingway didn't say, "Well, this is what I got. Punch it up.". >> Yeah. >> Give it a little too. >> The font [laughter] will be really nice. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. >> There's once, let's focus on this one. story, Institute of Men. >> Because it's a fascinating idea. Do you. want to talk about it a little bit? >> It's a story about a guy who uh is. getting self-conscious about his his. hairline is receding. he's losing his. hair and uh. >> he's worried a coworker of his thinks.

that he has Gollumesque features and. that if he loses his hair it really. could be bad for him, you know. Uh so. [laughter] he uh he he starts to uh he's. like looking for a solution and he he. kind of he sees this ad for this place. called the Institute of Men and he. decides to sign up and then he goes to. this place and it's a little unorthodox. there. There's some strange questions. they ask him and it's a very odd. procedure that he has to kind of sign. away to and then it's one of those. monkey paw situations. He he gets hair.

but there's a price that he has. But I. also love [laughter]. this what there's little things in it. that remind me of some of the sort of. comedy/horror things we've been talking. about where you know when you're getting. going to get a medical procedure you. have to fill out a questionnaire and the. questions are just really. >> Yeah. They're [laughter] they're not. things that you would normally see on a. medical questionnaire. >> It should have been the first red flag. Yeah. They're they're asking him things. like how many friends he has and. [laughter] the last time he cried. >> When was the last time you cried?

>> Yeah. When when have you been in a. fight? And. >> it's so funny because I've had ideas. over the years for Little Strange. Things. It's like it's not a comedy. sketch. It's just a concept. It's kind. of freaky, but I'd like to expand on it. more and write it out. But um you know. I've never I don't know never I've never. done it. It's it's why I mean I've been. a massive fan of yours and then when you. did this I was like well this man this.

man this man did the thing that I have. never been able to do. >> An idiot like me could do it. Conan. >> that's [laughter] that is not how I that. is not how that's not how I think about. it. But uh it's it's really exceptional. and and also it has to just feel to have. a book on the shelf. I mean a lot of. celebrity famous people toss off books. and it's that's not what this is. Do you. know what I mean? >> Yeah. No, I I I worked as hard on this. as I would on any of the any of the.

shows I worked on. I mean, I was like. living and breathing it for the last. year. And you know, the craziest part. about it is like you you finish it and. then you turn in and then it's like the. rewriting it where it's like, you know, you rewrite an episode of TV, it's 30. pages, like I can get through this in a. day or two. You get the notes and you. look at you're like, this is like a. 400page document. I [laughter] got to. rewrite this. Where the hell do I even. start? I don't even know if I can read. this thing in a month, you know? [laughter]. But then you you do you get down into it. where you do just start it. It just. happens. I just I went away and just.

left my computer on and just sort of. like would just pace back and forth like. just just approach it sentence at a. time, Danny. Like don't get intimidated. by the [laughter] by the weight of it. And then it does start to strip away. You do start to like you're like Neo in. the Matrix. You're like get rid of that. Put that in. Change that. You can just. start doing it. Yeah. [laughter]. I've never had that. >> I'll show you. >> I've never been Neo in that. [laughter]. I'm Keo in Point Break. That's who I am. What are you working on now? because. this this project is done. And I hate to.

say, "Okay, what else you got?". >> You know what? >> What have you done for me lately? >> I've been working on something I'm. pretty excited about. You know, I I uh. approached Parammont last year about uh. trying to relaunch G.I. Joe for them as. a feature. Yeah. Talk about cartoons, dog. Uh [laughter]. this is uh and so uh yeah, the guys I. write gemstones with uh Jeff Riley and. John Cachuri, we jammed um we we've. jammed out this script that Parammont's. excited about and we're going to try to. that's what we're trying to make next. year.

>> Wow. You can't say anything, huh? >> I can't say You know what? It's not a. comedy. It's like a grounded action. movie. Oh my god. >> Um you know, in the comics there's uh. this town Springfield that is like. secretly Cobra lives there. I have that. original comic. >> Yeah, I loved it. And so our our our. story takes place there. And um I. >> know that Matt's going to follow you. home. >> Yeah, you gota [laughter]. >> make sure you watch the gate close. behind you when you get home, but don't. don't just assume that no one's walking.

in after [laughter] you. But don't. worry, I'll be dressed like Duke from. >> G. You're going to go to shut the. refrigerator tonight. [laughter]. >> Always there. >> That was like the Halloween thing of. like feeling like insane writing the. shape. This was like I when I'm like. [clears throat] right in the climax of. it and we're sitting here and I'm. putting things like Cobra Commander and. Snake Eyes Fighting, I just had to like. stop and like go downstairs to my wife. and I'm like this is nuts. I used to do. this when I was a kid. Every day I would. make these guys fight each other and now. I'm writing that [laughter].

>> You're living my life. [laughter]. >> I'm so excited. This is amazing. >> Tears of blood from that gory. the I I um I do think that and and I. chuck it up to pure luck, but there are. so many times now where I'm doing. something I realize this is how I goofed. around as a kid. >> and now I'm doing it and people are. saying and cut. Nicely done. [laughter]. I'm not I'm not getting yelled at.

>> Yeah. They're not telling you to clean. up your toys. They're paying you. >> handsome. [laughter]. >> That's all fine. Let's get back to GI. Joe. Yeah. Um, uh, Walton Gogggins. I I. have to ask you about Walton Gogggins. because, you know, I know him a bit and. he's been here. He's just a fascinating. creature. >> He really is. >> He re I mean, uh, and I mean, you must. have the second you saw him do anything. thought like, "Oh, I got to know that. guy." Because he's such a He's like a. Walton Gogggins is a character you would.

create. [laughter]. >> I mean, the person Walton Gogggins, the. universe pushed us together. Honest. I. love him so much. He's one of my best. friends. And uh yeah, I mean since the. very first time we worked together in. vice principles, him and I have just had. such a fast friendship and you know, we. went to we took our families to Greece. together last year and uh just. hilarious. >> He Yeah, he's just so funny and so good. >> He was here to do the podcast. I don't. know if you remember this, but they he. he got here a little bit early and then. his one of his people said, "Walton's.

very tired. He's going to take a power. nap for 5 minutes." and he went into. that little office where you were. sitting, that little green room with the. couches uh and the sliding door that. goes outside. And um I walk by and he's. asleep on the couch, but he looked like. Dracula sleeping in his casket. [laughter] He was like like this and his. eyes were closed and he slept really. hard for exactly 5 minutes. >> Wow. >> And then came in here and he gave us a.

full blast of the Gogggins. I love it. [laughter]. >> He gave us full gogggins. Full metal. gogggins. >> Full metal gogggins. Yeah. When we went. to Greece last year, it's like, you. know, I mean, he is he's a force and it. was awesome walking around Greece, everyone uh recognized him. He had such. a stellar year with White Lotus and. everyone was coming up and Walton was. dressed for it. I mean, what we would go. out and Walton is like in full white. linens and then, [laughter] you know, I'm there with my kids. They're wearing. like Crocs, you know. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll take.

this. We'll take the photo for you. [laughter]. We go to these beach clubs and like. everyone in his family are just like. finely dressed and just look like. they're off the m a magazine. I just got. my little redneck kids and me [laughter]. >> sitting here with bad suntans. >> So he's like Aristotle Onases [laughter]. and Jackie Onases walking around Greece. off the yacht. >> and then you guys. >> I'm like you know Randy Quaid and you. know vacation just like [laughter] wait. for me.

>> [laughter]. >> You're like, I'm going to get them Duke. boys. I wish I could have again. I would just. want to shoot that. [laughter] I just. want to see the B-roll of you guys. walking around having a killer time. [laughter]. Unbelievable. Well, I uh this has been a. huge shot in the arm. I didn't even need. a shot in the arm today, but I was we're. I do this sometimes. I'll be driving in. and I think, "Hey, I get to see Danny. McBride today and I love his book and so. happy for him and and uh just I just.

love talking to you and getting any time. to hang with you and I will take you up. on your promise. >> to uh just the three of us. You, me, Sturgil Simpson, >> I'll coordinate it. >> I'll pay for the [laughter] meal. >> You guys you guys pick the Outback. Steakhouse. >> I'd love that. >> And um and we'll go there. And if Gogan. wants to drop by at some point, >> we'll bring him too. He might we might. have to change what we're wearing if he. comes. [laughter] We're gonna have up. our game.

>> Well, Danny, thank you for dropping in. and congrats on the book. I love it. Thrilling tales of modern men. >> Awesome. Thank you. >> If you got an ass, then Duth [laughter]. Trading Company is for you. I'm just. reading what they wrote, folks. For. decades, Duth has been making work wear. for harder workers. Do you got an ass, Sona? >> Yeah, I do. >> Well, Duth company's for you. From. highly abrasion resistant pants to heat. beating work shirts, Duth empowers you.

to take on life with your own two hands. Ready to bolster your nether regions. What the hell? Deluth's buck naked. unders are the no pinch, no stink, no. sweat solution when your junk drawer is. on life support. >> Oh god. Oh, they went. They went too. far. >> Yeah. And you read it. You read it all. Didn't even ask any questions. >> I just blacked out and [laughter] this. came out of my mouth. Uh, do your glutes. a favor. Shop at a duth trading store. near you or at duthtrading.com. Duth.

trading for folks who work their butts. off. >> Here we are. We're talking about Blaze. tax saga. This is part four and maybe an. ongoing series and hopefully it doesn't, you know, hopefully it ends well. Bl. along with his mother are part of a. criminal gang [laughter]. where Blle was able to. um write off his various uh uh nerd. collections of swords, lightsabers, Darth Vader helmets, whatever you.

whatever else he can think of. Uh he was. writing them off because he was bringing. them up on the podcast. And if the. Internal Revenue Service is listening, and I think they should be, um, I think. he should be investigated. >> And now you were a stranger to all of. this, Matt, >> because you were out on a, I think, a. 9-month. >> paternity leave, which is fine. >> Well, it be we began with conception. Yeah. And then ended with delivery. [laughter]. >> and ended with her starting at a very. good college in the Northeast. Yeah. >> Um,

>> but now you, so you have a fresh. approach to all this. We haven't heard. your opinion. So, you speak, you listen. to what Blair was up to, and what did. you think? >> Well, God, you know, I love you, Blair. >> And this only comes out of concern. >> Oh, boy. >> You know, it's not going to be good when. you hear that stuff. >> Oh, [laughter] Jesus. >> I'm just concerned that you're doing. things backwards. >> that, you know what I mean? That you're. coming on and saying after you've. purchased these, like, oh, I'm going to. mention them now. As opposed to. >> having an actual solid reason for.

bringing them on the show, which I think. would justify a write-off. >> Uh-huh. Yeah. >> Well, how can I bring them up if I don't. already own them? >> Well, I think they have to be or. organically. >> This is organic. >> He talked about the pens and. >> no one needed to mention your pen to. mention the brand. >> Why' you say is it called? What's it. called again? >> It's a called a It's called a Kindle. Scribe. >> Yeah. >> Uh by Amazon. >> Okay. >> Oh boy. >> I find it suspicious that you give lots. of labels. You give a lot of this is how.

what this is what it's called. This is. where it's available. I think it's a. really reasonable price. Get yours now. Um, click to proceed to cart. Uh, >> you said what kind of pen you had. You. said it's an Aurora pen. It's really. nice. That didn't you say the kind of. pen? >> I did say that. >> But I don't wr. It's a gift. Maybe just writing it off. >> But I think the difference is if I was. to say like, "Oh, I was taking out the. trash last night. Hefty trash bags." Uh, and. >> they are good trash bags.

>> Okay. [laughter] The first play you know. the difference odoring play you know the. difference which is I just said this is. a nice pen it's an Aurora I'm not. expecting anything from Aurora were they. to give me something which would be very. nice if I got a free pen from Aurora. [laughter] I would accept it but I would. never mention it on air although I might. I probably would Aurora but anyway. that's [laughter] not what I would. >> very good pens it's just a pen that I. use and it's a pen that I have right now. on camera. >> you can't write with it normally. >> uh well. >> you have to write on an angle [laughter]. no offense Aurora but what the.

Also, when I watch everywhere, you're. right. Throw that thing into a hefty. trash bag, >> squirting all over the place. >> When I watched how you tried to write. with this, I was appalled because. listen, you're uh you just came right. down straight. [laughter] It was a 90°. angle. Uh it was completely. perpendicular. Uh and I felt I was like, "Oh my goodness.". >> And [laughter] 11-year-old me was. appalled. >> Oh no. >> Yeah. That is not how one holds a pen. and pen. The one with the the one who.

wants the stamp that that 11-year-old. version of you. >> I want stamp one. All I wanted was a. void stamp. >> Oh, I really wish I could, you know, impress that 11-year-old version of you. [laughter]. >> You go out with me, stamp loving kids. >> Hey, you like stamps? [laughter]. >> A rubber stamp. It's really fun. And you. get to like with real authority say. void. [laughter]. >> Oh no. >> Reit. I wanted a remmit stamp. Um, Sona.

>> What? >> What? Me? No. Bl. Remember you just I I. get it. I get it. >> Oh, yeah. Auroras are great. No, I just. want to give you quick. [laughter] All I. want to do is a quick shut up and then. onward to Bl. I just don't want to see. anything happen to you. That's all I. can. >> Thank you. I appreciate it. >> I The reason I do want to see something. happen to you. I would be delighted if. you and your mother who does your taxes. for reasons that still escape me even. though she's not a tax person. She gets. you on the phone and then she calls what. is it? >> She's good at Turboax. >> She calls Turboax and you know calls.

Turboax. [laughter] You don't call I'm. doing your part for you. Calls Turboax. >> Who calls Turboax? [laughter]. I did that for you as a gift. >> Thank you very much. Who calls Turboax? >> I'm just showing you that I can do your. role on this podcast too. >> If you know you correctly. [laughter]. Um, I won that argument with my hubah. You're writing it correctly. Is it. >> name? You mention all the products. Buy. Amazon. Readily available. I think it's. a good price. I know what you're up to.

I see what you're doing. And you leaned. in. And you also still do the thing. we've talked to you about, which is you. put your mouth over the mic like you're. eating a giant kilbasa. Uh, and you. shout into it. >> You do grab it. He's grabbing it, too. >> He grabs it. What is the grabbing about? Why do you grab the mic? >> Because Edardo and I share it. No one. likes me. >> We share a mic. >> Is not separating is not having. >> Well, no. I was just saying we share a. mic. So I I need to grab the mic to pull. it over to me. >> Why are you yelling? >> I don't know. >> I'm trying to take Can I just in.

defense, the reason why I say what it is. is not to write things off. I'm not. going to write this off. It's in case. people are like, "Oh, that's pretty. cool. Where can I get that? That's. pretty I like that product. I would like. to buy it also." Uhoh. So that's where. your role here is on the on the podcast. is to direct people towards items that. are in your life that they might also. >> an affiliate link where you get a. percentage. >> You know what? We could have an. affiliate link for the podcast to make a. little extra dough on this. You know, can I say something? I like paper and I. like the idea that and and I'm never.

going to be someone that wants to doodle. and then press a button and it goes into. the cloud. Okay? Because guess what? You. think you're saving paper, but now. server farms have to handle my doodles. and we're burning valuable energy. were. burning fossil fuels so that somewhere a. server farm can hang on to my little guy. that's going bibble babble dibble. [laughter]. >> but you could you could lose your. doodles and this is my notes are being. saved forever. >> Yeah, that's important. And you know. what? It's important that your thoughts. are saved, Blair, for all of time. Well, I've never said anything that's more.

ridiculous. We're going to end there. But Blair, I've got my eye on you. I. think you're up to no good. And if the. IRS is listening, his name is Aaron. Blair. >> That's the thing though is the IRS has. been gutted. So you're probably. We can all just do it. >> And you know what? The worst criminals. like Blair are going to get away with. murder. >> It's like tax fury road right now. Just. go for it. >> Go for it. >> Well, if that's the message of of our. podcast today, it's if you're thinking. of cheating on your taxes, just go for. it. Let's. >> do it.