Conan Wishes Sona & Matt Forgot About His Birthday | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

I think we have something we need to. address okay as of when this episode. comes out tomorrow. big boy it's your 60th birthday. you were obsessed with talking about my. age what do you mean he is obsessed with. talking about Milestone bring it up. what's this got to do with me you. because you have brought it up on the. podcast easily seven times easily seven. times you said well I'm gonna turn 50. but that means Conan's turning 60. I. want to keep this on the down low. comedy's all about being young.

and I'm putting it out there that I'm in. my late 40s and you every single time we. get on Micah like well in three more. months someone's going to be 60 and then. it's just a hop skipping a jump to 70. how are you a big boy wow this is you. left right and Center lately what is. happening. I don't want to die touchy why it's the. grave the grave beckons but it's just a.

number man oh yeah it's a number that. you keep bringing up again and again and. again six zero yes you're turning 50 in. May that's right okay yeah yeah and you. just turned 40 and then Adams also. turned 40 recently this is we work in. decades here yeah it's crazy Eduardo how. old are you 5 35 yeah okay well you're. gonna need to age five. get on thinking get on sync okay get in. favor like women that are all in the. same menstrual cycle we need to sync up.

so you are now like almost to turn 40. you're almost turning 40. can I go. backwards no okay. compared it to women being on their same. menstrual site like how do you even know. what that is like I read about it once. in uh glamor magazine okay. it was in a I was reading an article. called seven ways to keep your man happy. oh and that was to uh menstruate with. other women yeah men love it men love it. women sync up yeah that was number six.

on the seven ways to keep your man are. you sure you're not 70. I'm 80. okay. so let's address it yeah I realize I. came down on you a little hard but yeah. I will be honest you've seemed a little. obsessed with my birthday. um I just want to wish you happy. birthday I think it's a milestone. birthday you here's the thing two things. you're saying yeah you're saying it's. just a number and it's a milestone. take a side dude. this one's exciting it's it's a big one. you just want to see me in my grave oh.

well that's true. and I want to put you there. well you're doing it hey buddy make one. coming. big six oh buddy. you started like a year ago a year from. now the big six oh buddy boy it's just. interesting that we all turn our decade. oh interesting it is it's a guy like you. would get so old oh God this guy oh this. guy over here this pistol uh yes I uh.

I'm fine with it as you can tell yeah. but I do it's something I think about. sometimes which is uh you know I'm uh. I've been such a uh foolish physical. comic in in my life and then I think. um I just want someone to tap me on the. shoulder when they say it's it's looking. sad now you know well now you can do. Pratt Falls but they'll be real well. yeah but but I won't get up afterwards.

just you'll hear a shattering sound and. a hip will go rolling into the gutter be. honest no if we had said nothing and. just let your birthday go by. you wouldn't have liked that right I. would have had something to be bitter. about oh so which as Sona will tell you. is the greatest gift that would have. been your yeah a good gift would have. been to forget my birthday and then I. could have hated you for it but I also. get to hate you for bringing it up that. you're 60. yeah okay there you go one. more time 60. exactly can I say. something though you take good care of. yourself I do you are exactly the same.

at least to me in terms of your. physicality and the things that you do. from when I first started working for. you that's why I don't think you'd be. upset because you look good you sound. good I've I listen I'm thinking of. having a lot of work done oh. um and I know that uh that's not. necessary for a podcast. what are you gonna get. oh you're. what I want big boobs. huge boobs.

and I also want those button what I. would get done is butt implants because. I have no ass you know that you're gonna. go for like a Kardashian body I would. like what do they do how does a butt. implant work what's in there what do. they put in there. from other parts of your body looking. around not in that magazine you read. yeah sudden ways to keep your man happy. no it had very I think it was written by. a maniac because it said like sync up. your menstrual cycle with other women. yeah I think Kardashians are so rich. they just get like butt transplant.

someone else's butt is given to them for. Bitcoin they get a Bitcoin put in there. you could donate your butt for his. birthday I need all the butt I can get. too and this guy isn't you know okay so. it says for a BBL which I think is what. you're talking about Brazilian butt lift. correct it's just fat is removed from. the hips lower back thighs abdomen and. or other areas with liposuction ah you. don't have I don't have I don't have but. I don't I I don't think I have a lot of. fat in other areas of my body I think if.

I do it's in my head. yeah it'd be really funny if I suddenly. had a really skinny head oh like a. really really skinny head and then a. giant ass and I literally had fat from. my cheeks put into my bottom you know. and my big fat Irish paper mache head. suddenly became really skinny okay but I. had this fat ass I was carting around. your hair is the same size yes the hair. is still a big puff pastry okay they.

don't put silicone in the boobs I mean. it says they inject the fat into. specific points in the buttocks how does. it not fall like sag down like saddle. bags sounds like a remote for Conan no I. gotta get it done I will say that I do a. lot of uh sort of mental gymnastics in. my head so. um turning 60 I start to do the math in. my head of wait a minute when was my dad. 60 and he's 94 now yeah and uh still.

doing well yeah but but you do the math. in your head and go wait a minute that. wasn't that long ago it doesn't feel. that long ago that he was my age but he. seemed older right yeah and then you. start to realize that. um you start to hear things like uh. people that you thought when you were a. kid were really old when they played. that character in a movie were your age. and you think oh my God have you done. seven because Brando played The. Godfather at 47 yes and that was but he.

was playing someone who was older yeah. but still well also in like 40 I think. Norm from. from 40 I think Cliff was 40 I think I. think Homer Simpson is supposed to be. around 40. I mean I think they make it. like you're you've given up. what yeah like at that age it's sort of. like all right well I'm just gonna be. like a big fat toe and just sit at the. bar not that I no I don't want to say. that about Norman Cliff but you know. what I mean like they made the character.

seem older back then you're gonna. probably live a long time that's a. terrible thing to say oh that's gonna be. here I'm sure you'll survive at least. the day. okay well thank you you know I'm sorry I. jumped down your throat Gorly yeah all. right just try to wish a guy a happy. birthday and which birthday is it. one two three four five six Decades of. human life on this planet Adam are you. right he brings it up a lot get on Mike.

Adam. get on Mike I actually think you're both. right I think he I think it is a. milestone and so it is like something to. acknowledge it's a big it's a big. birthday sure. um but you're right that he's brought it. up so many times yeah but I also think. that you are I think that you're you are. sensitive about it though you are saying. I shouldn't be I shouldn't be can we. talk about my original ideas I wanted to. get him a gift and just make this about. giving you a gift and it was that. cardboard aircraft carrier you always.

talk about you have as a kid but. whoever's responsible for that just. didn't do it so didn't we look forward. and we couldn't find it yeah something. like that anyway you guys look like you. really tried hard yeah so your choices. were get Conan a joyous gift from his. youth basically give Charles Foster Kane. his Rosebud sled or just grind it into. his ear that he's getting old which one. should we do tell him you were going to. get it yeah and then not get it happy. birthday.

someone dropped the ball and I still got. it I'm a podcaster now that's the real. gift yeah the real gift is it's people. listening think I'm a real hipster a. real cool cat. um anyway well thank you thank you and I. am uh sincerely if I can be sincere for. one second just great seriously just. grateful that. to be around so that's nice I really am. so okay no literally I am I'm like.

you've done a lot. so hard. no but I am grateful to uh I'm grateful. to have this birthday yeah so here's to. another 60 more oh my God oh my God it's. so painful too old all right well thank. you thank you very much and uh happy. birthday. and I'm sure the gifts are huh I don't. see anything. show notes you could have gotten me. something else we had such a good idea. for a gift oh my God you would have just.

yeah. yeah you would have loved it all right. thank you Happy Birthday to me.