Conan Wants To Start A Detective Agency | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

sonum Obsession how are you I'm all. right man I'm I'm CH I'm chill it's a. podcast get your hands away from your. mouth I'm sorry I feel like I'm loud to. am I loud you mean in in general okay. today but okay let's do more bits about. me being loud bits no I'm fine I'm just. I feel like I'm loud in my ears you've. been used at Sea to guide ships through. the fog you are the loudest not just. person you just the loudest entity that. I've ever known I'm not louder than bla.

yes you are am I yeah yeah you are yes. you are I'm not disagree no no no when. bla comes onto his mic he comes in with. a certain energy and. excitement uh but that's not how loud he. is all the time oh you are. unbelievably loud all the time and Matt. you're here too how are you hi good to. see you you little church mouse you oh. I'm quiet I'm m i podcast you know I.

know what volume I should be would you. just quiet down please no Sony you know. you must have had people tell you. everyone has always told me yeah no no. you're right I don't know why I'm. arguing I was driving to your house not. long ago we were going to record that. chill Chums which is in Altadena and I. got near your home and didn't know where. you were and I rolled down the window. and heard you and drove the next six. miles to your house it's absolutely. incredible and you weren't even mad. about anything you were just saying oh I. found the hummus and then you know.

why is it got to always be hummus do you. like hummus I do like hummus but I like. Baba Gan more oh okay well that's not. ethnic um you like Quaker Oats Baba. canou you're so kind I am a kind person. no you're not oh you're right I. forgot I swear to God I was sitting. today uh this morning I came in we have. our little office here at Larchmont it's.

kind of nice and I thought huh this is. it's kind of cool we we do a podcast out. of here we do uh a lot of the. pre-production and all the editing for. the max travel show here it's like a. little uh kebler elf tree where we do. all this kind of cool stuff you know and. then I thought we should do more and. then it hit me detective agency don't. you think it'd be cool if we ran a. detective agency and it doesn't all have. it doesn't have to be all of us but. maybe Blake you would front it you know.

because you usually wear like a Hawaiian. shirt or something anyway you're saying. that cuz he's wearing one today I know. but he usually you you you know the way. the old stereotype is kind of a guy. wearing you know a Hawaiian shirt he's a. little messy he's eating a big sandwich. washed up little kind of yeah washed up. you were on the forest but then. something went happened you can't go. back to Chinatown that kind of stuff so. anyway you would front it and then. occasionally you would use all of us to. assist and we would make extra money.

that way I I love this idea I could see. people coming up finding out like yeah I. know this they make a podcast here and. yeah I know that they do some production. here but oh I also saw this flyer that. says there's a private F FAL walks into. a room with like the shadow of blinds on. the wall and says Mr bla I hear you can. help me well I I kind of think I feel. like you would be the head of the. operation cone and you might send me out. into the field you know like like you're. the brains cuz you read all these uh. these spine you do oh and also um what.

the am I doing well first of all oh. they're you're how they find us cuz they. hear your. voice literally they're like 15 miles. away and they hear what I didn't want. seeds on this. bagel and then they just start walking. towards that and then they get here she. not even like publicizing the business. just I'm just talking about a bagel I. have the least my job sucks on this. detective agency to do anything yeah but.

you get paid and you just basically. that's all you about anyway I Envision. it this way because BL you can't you. can't lead with Conan that's just too. overwhelming you that's true and also. you want this woman to come in and sort. of start to fall in love with you if I. come in that's screwed okay okay you. know what I mean yeah no I know what you. mean come in with my BD. energy you don't stand a chance what. what are you doing then in this detec. what is what do you what do you do I.

think I come in every now and then in. certain situations like undercover work. uh and uh what you were the you would. never be able to do undercover work I. would I can crch life. depend villain I can Crouch I can Crouch. what does crouching have to do with. being under cover most literally being. under some covers most people spot me. because I'm very tall right so if I. crouched and I hid the red ha the red.

pomidor um and I could have different. disguises but I would go out there and. I'm you do have to admit I'm a pretty. good uh character work you know. character actor I could I you've done. all those soap operas on the Travel. shows yeah you play all those different. characters you know but anyway looks. exactly the same you look exactly like. you you can I've been out with you when. you're wearing a hat and sunglasses and. you're looking trying to look like blend. in everyone knows it's you I've been. there don't you have a story where you. were literally covered head to toe and. Martin Short was like hey Conan and you.

were like I'm. fully under a sheet yeah I was uh it. happens I would say um I did I was with. my daughter and and people were saying. hi and stuff and so we went into a. sunglass store and my daughter Nev and. this is a true story we're done in Santa. Monica on the prominade and they had. this these glasses that like cover your. whole face and I said let's just try. those and I bought them and I put them. on and I walked out with my daughter and. she's a witness and the person went by. by and went cool glasses.

Conan but anyway um well the other thing. I could do is also just be me if the. undercover isn't going to work I could. say hey con O'Brien uh you're probably a. fan you know and then um that gets the. conversation started and I get some. information but and another way you know. way uh detectives are always shelling. out here's a 20 here's a 20 here's a 20. what do you know what's on the street I. could do that but I could do it with. like you know here's a here's tickets to. a podcast down at the here's a head shot. here's yeah here's a here's a head shot.

what's the word on the street and then. the guy would be like what I don't want. this and by the way this head shot looks. 20 years old and word on the street is. you're going around passing out head. shot yeah you know I'm at the shoe sign. stand I'm like shut hey hey buddy what. do you know what do you know he's like. well I don't know much oh yeah I think. you do and I hand over a head shot that. was taken in. 1993 I'm wearing like a padded shoulder. jacket it's for The Late Night with con. O'Brian show and I'm like hey uh maybe. now you remember a little better and. he's like yeah I remember remember that.

uh you've aged. horribly and he already has one cuz the. guy before you gave him one that you. gave that guy and they're and guess what. I walk back to the detective agency and. they're in the trash cans all the way. back they've been thrown away never. solved a case yeah I don't know I just. think it's something to explore a. detective agency be up for it right I'm. fully on board does sound I think my. life needs more excitement uh all of our. Lives need more excitement I think you. know we could do we'll put in the tropes. which is we can light it so that it.

looks like there's window coming through. some shades we can get a slow moving. ceiling fan lot of filing cabinets messy. sandwich and that'll just be one corner. of another pristine office yeah in a. drawer we we hire a saxophonist to just. kind of play just lonely saxophone. choose the Hawaiian version herwan sh. version of a detective or that version. you can't blend the two versions do. whatever you want who's no's even. listening to this thing right now okay.

cares the rap sign's been up for like. five minutes. yeah I thought you were just asking us. do we want to order a. rap oh that would be rap question mark. this detective agency is never going to. work okay maybe the detective agenc is. bad idea we'll think of something else I. want us to have another service here so. let's think of what that is I'm fully in. I'm Ceramics hey M. Massage okay no like people come in to. give you a massage be fantastic does.

this what kind of business is that I. have to start giving people massages in. a Hawaiian shirt I don't know I'm going. to work on this I'm going to figure it. out okay all right well and and if. anyone out there has any suggestions I'd. like this I'd like there to be one more. income stream here one other uh source. of Revenue so let's think of what it is. here at Team Coco.