Conan Wants To Co-Found A Hedge Fund With Eric Andre | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

your hair looks good man does it looks. okay it's been pushed back by my uh. looks good looks okay it's a wig I. bought it I wouldn't even care I bought. it from the estate of Lucille Ball. the only thing is that it it straps. around my chin with a little strap. that's the thing that always gives it. away sometimes it slides back like a. yamaka I wouldn't have it any other way. um okay so uh I mean let's focus I want. to get but I want to get before the show.

yeah where you your first passion is. music and yeah Jazz yeah jazz in your. neck of the woods Berkeley College you. went to Berkeley College of Music which. is still I was there not too long ago. and I was walking around near the. Berkeley College music and everybody. there was so funny I saw a kid hustling. to class late and he was holding the. largest. um I don't know if what like cello case. yeah yeah yeah and I was just yeah and. running to class holding a giant 60. pound cello case that that dwarfed this.

person yeah yeah I had an upright bass I. would bring the upright bass to class on. my head because I was so tired of. schlepping it conventional instrument. though the upright bass that's cool but. it is not a good uh career choice or. life choice so if I had a choice between. like and we'll say the goal was to make. a ton of money yeah hedge fund or. playing uh Jazz stand up base yeah what. do you think is the better way to go. well I think you know the answer to that.

brother yeah okay and that's why I work. at a hedge fund now. I think it'd be great if it came out. that you and I co-founded a hedge fund. and it was just killing it but it was. very unethical oh yeah really like we. were doing really unethical stuff in. people Ponzi schemes yeah and people. were saying like I don't understand. Conor Brian Eric Andre team up but what. are they doing. we're buying lower income housing. evicting people. we're tearing it down and then we're.

selling it to a nuclear power plant. [Music]. and it's got a name that isn't even it's. it's got some name like. stylex. but you know what's interesting and talk. about this that am I getting you off. track because you have a specific. question I don't I really don't are you. sure well it's mostly about financial. stuff do you want to know how much is in. my bank account I should do a show where. that's what it's all about let's get. down to it brother and we really crunch. it and then we have uh we have your.

account and call in yes well okay no. he's land Rich he's got a lot of. properties but you know I would like us. to have this more liquidity and then we. really crunch it down because that's. what people want to know about you Aaron. yeah the comedy is not interesting to. people I agree no one watches you most. of your fan base I mean I think you. famously said your your fan base is like. college dudes and black skateboarders. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's. like that's a perfect description that.

is my demo this show is sponsored by. better help so I know you're uh very. busy yeah you've got twins yes twins who. are over two now they're gonna be two in. July it's very easy to find yourself. self doing things for other people or. trying to be really productive and get a. lot done and take care of everybody I. know you're a caretaking personality. yeah I am so are you and and what. happens sometimes is you'd realize I. haven't checked in on myself I have no. clue how I'm doing yeah I bring this up.

because I'm a big believer in talk. therapy if you if you can find the right. fit right person and getting help it's. made a huge difference in my life yeah. in some ways I've been your therapist. over the years you have been you've been. and I and I think that you're if you. didn't want to pray I don't want to pay. someone so I figured if I could just. talk to you I'll just do it for free but. it is so it is important to talk to. someone if you're thinking of starting. therapy maybe give better help a try. here's what I like about better help.

it's entirely online this didn't exist. back in the day when I was. maybe looking for someone to talk to and. it's such a smart way to get involved in. this process better help is designed to. be convenient flexible and suited to. your schedule find more balance with. better help I really think this is a. terrific idea visit betterhelp.com Conan. today to get 10 off your first month. that's better help. h-e-l-p.com slash Kona and you know I. just moved here I moved back to New York.

we're in New York City right now after. yeah after 15 years in L.A and I was. like I need to go to a neighborhood my. profile is a little bit higher than when. I was here last and homeless. what's like a quiet safe neighborhood. everyone will leave me alone the East. Village that's where none of my. demographic. will. and true and I was wrong you were wrong. I was dead well here's the thing when. you remember what I said about college. Bros and black skateboarders you were.

wrong that's their that's their Mecca no. you need to be. you need to be in like living in Jackie. onassis's old neighborhood like on the. Upper East Side I was going to say the. same thing where everybody's uh and only. to generalize but I'm just going to say. there's a certain neighborhood where. most people are very old very white very. rich yeah and they probably don't watch. adult swim or they're gone they don't. watch Adults Swim. um they don't know who I am they think. I'm a very they think I'm a an actress. who's aging poorly and.

they're like I Conan I loved you in tar. I'm like why did you know my name was. Conan then. um and they say like well I up. the joke uh and then we get real. deconstructed uh but like Julianne Moore. has been drinking. yeah. and more is getting people see me around. and go oh my gosh before Julianne Moore. what happened and then people come up to. her and say you were looking pretty. rough I saw you walking down the street.

with Eric Andre no you're talking about. um are are all actors. completely psychotic and emotionally. disturbed is there have you ever met a. single actor who uh is like hey I'm. grounded that I go to therapy and uh. there's nothing wrong with me they're. all like every single actor I've ever. met. completely there's always one exception. that proves the rule you know one. there's one that's like a a nice yeah.

person yeah Tom Hanks seems like a. normal person unless he's committing a. string of Serial crimes in the Pacific. Northwest that nobody knows about but. but you're right most people that get. into the Performing Arts not well and uh. and myself included we're not well I'm. not an actor but I'm not well you know. and so it's God should I start uh Zoloft. I have Zoloft in my medicine cabinet and.

I'm just looking at it and I'm like. should I do another decade of crippling. anxiety and uh now so did you get the. prescription or did you stole it or you. found this. one man's trash is another man's trash. the expiration date it's like that's. when they really hear when they're. expired yeah it's from the first Bush. Administration the Elder bush. um those have just basically turned into.

salt now they're not even a medication. anymore and they're delicious brother. they're like anchovies from Sicily. I like that they have no more no more. effect on your mental health but they. have a pretty good taste it enhances a. pizza or a salad.