Conan Wants Sona Arrested | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

This is one of those occasions doesn't. come up that much where I've got a bit. of a cold and I'm just loving my voice. and that's why I think I slow it down a. little bit and I think I sound real. sexy. Yeah. I think I sound like I've. got big dick energy. Come on, man. Sexy. to that point. What do you mean? I don't. know. The voice is cool. Do you wish my. voice was like this all the time? Yeah, I kind of do. But it also makes you kind. of obnoxious. It's the voice that you have big throat.

energy. Big flu energy. Don't do it. Can you do a song. dedication? Yeah. That's the kind of If. I had this kind of voice all the time, I'd just do a lot of Yeah. Yeah. Just to. fill out the conversation. Oh, okay. Cuz. you don't have to think of anything. clever. People, hey, C, what's going on? Yeah. Yeah, that's right. That's all you. were going to say. And that's enough to. get by on, huh? I think so. You need. like a. catchphrase. Chilling. All right, I'm.

rocking and rolling. Chilling with me. That's like a That's Is that a product? That's an in like a shoe insert. commercial. Mellin like Mellin. He. didn't get it right. It's about a shoe. insult insert for old people. Yeah. Excuse me. The art support I've. been looking for. That's a free ad. Have. they Have they still making those? The. gel like Mellin insert. Seen one in. years. I haven't seen one in years. That. That was a terrible catchphrase. That's. one of the worst catchphras kind of.

Don't you think was a terrible. catchphrase? Yeah. I'm jelling with. Mellin. Mellin like Mellin. Oh yeah. Well, that's great. That's fantastic. 2003 was 2003. Yeah. Wow. Okay. It's. been over 20 years and you still. remember it. That was America trying to. recover from the 911 attacks. And so, no, we were we were trying to get back. on our feet literally. And so, we were. all about inserts. What is wrong with. you? I'm just saying that there's a. historic reason why uh a gelled insole. was a big deal back then. People wanted.

comfort and they wanted to feel. supported at a time when our nation was. in a lot of peril. Anyway, I love the way I talk, right? I'd like to recuse myself from this. podcast. Okay, that's not going to. happen yet. We can recuse. Yeah. Okay. Me, too. Um, you're on your own, Barry. White. I had one of those IVs last. night. Oh, I don't think it did. anything. I'll be honest with you. Um. maybe it did. They put a bunch of cuz I. wasn't feeling well and the a big I've. got a big gig coming up and I wanted to.

feel my best. And so my doctor said, "Oh, you could try this." And there's. like a bag and the guy just keeps. injecting different things into the bag. while it drips into my arm. And I'm. thinking, "I don't know what he's. putting in here." And uh at one point he. put Yeah. It was the substance. Yeah. Yeah. I turned into Eddie Redm. Um. at one point I said, "What's that you're. putting in there?" And he said, "Mayonnaise." Just put mayonnaise in. there. Eddie red man crawled out my back. and he said, "Cheerio,

chaps." Well, to make a moving picture. I don't know who the young version of me. would be. The Wendy's girl. Oh, that's. what you meant. Eddie Redm is the young. version of you. I Yeah, that's what. that's what the substance is. Better. version. Okay, take it easy. I'm sorry. That's what it is. That's He has got. these pipes. He doesn't have these. pipes. I mean, he's got a crazy cool. British accent. Yeah, anyone can do. that. Cheerio. chap. Here comes Chitty Chitty Bang. Bang. I'm really not trying at all.

Those are bangers and mash. I'm just. saying things without an English accent. Not even doing an accent. You can't do a. normal British. Watch this. Look at over. there. It's It's a Big Ben. Oh, that's. bad. You're Thanks, American tourist. British accent is just goes you go. straight to cochney. No, I don't. Can. you do like a. normal British accent? That's all right. No, that's Cognney. Well, I wasn't even. trying to right there. I had a small pup.

in my throat from this cold that I was. trying to dislodge. Listen, guys. I'm. not your chimp. I'm not going to sit. here and do voices. I want you to. Well, I'm not going to. No, you do. I'm not. some entertainer who when cued performs. entertainment for people. Do it. Okay. It's the. poss first cabin captain's quarters. real. Pour out star porch with a capital. P O S. You do good. Paul McCartney. Oh. yeah. Well, he's very, you know, Dana.

and I like to do I learned a lot from. Dana, which is very singongy and. dooblydoo. He's ups and he's downs. He's. It's good. It's all over the maps. That's good. You can do it. Yeah. And. then my John Lennon is just what the. are you talking about? It's just. it's more Basil and just yelling at. Paul. Yes. It's a lot of fun to hang around. with Dana and do voices. It's really. fun. He's the maestro. Yeah, he is. He. is the maestro. Yeah. And I'm going to. give it up for him right now. Dana. Carvey. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You were just. saying Dana like everybody knew who you.

were talking about. Yeah. Well, who else. is there? What other famous Dana are. there? Dana Plato. Dana Gold. Gold. Dana. Delaney. Dana White. Yeah. Dana White. Yeah. He does. He might do impressions. before UFC fights. He probably does. Yeah. He comes out as a character. He. comes out as a uh 1920s depression era. news boy and tells everybody that. Titanic has just sunk. They should get. ready for the fight. He's doing this to an audience of He. does it a lot. UFC people. They go. crazy. They all start hitting each other.

with chairs. They love it. Do the. Lucatania say, "Do it. Do it." They love it when he. invokes Woodro Wilson. Well, I think we've had a good time. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we got there. What? What? Well, that's a terrible thing to. say. That was I didn't mean it that way. So, now that the audience, you just. clued the audience in that we were. trying to fill time as opposed to having. a magical journey. This is a magical. journey. Yeah. If you know, show. business is and our current president. has taught us this. You declare it and.

you make it so. And so I'm, you know, not saying, um, you know, that that's. the right thing to do, but he just. says, he makes declarations. You're not. saying it's not the right thing to do. I'm not not not saying. No, but what I'm. saying is he makes these declarations. and people then start chanting, "Lock. her up. Lock her up." They don't even. know who she is or where they're locking. her up. So what I'm Yeah. So I think I'm. going to start doing that on the. podcast. Okay. Lock her up. Yeah. So I.

want someone to arrest, man. Bummer. For. what? I don't know. You've shoplifted, didn't you? A long time ago and not a. lot of stuff. I guess old crimes don't. count. No, the statute of limitations is. up. Hi. Hi. I'm the law. Oh, hi Law. How. are you? I didn't recognize you. Hey, law. You look great. You look fantastic. Hey, I love the scales you're holding. Why are you blindfolded, Law? I'm I'm uh. I'm the justice. Oh, wow. Your improv is. so good. Your improv is off the charts. Incredible. So, do you train at like. Second City or Grammys? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yes. And Yes. And Yes. And I. trained at Second City and Got it. That's all you got to do. Yeah. And I. used to do bits on your show in 1993. Yeah. And then I was 10 years old. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And shut up. Yes. And. you shut up. That's what I would do. Yes. And you shut up. And then Yes. And. you shut up. Yes. And Yes. And rap.