Conan Wants A Star-Studded 19th Century American History Museum - "Conan O'Brien Needs A Fan"

so i am a new relatively new listener. just started with the pandemic and i've. been catching up and i noticed that you. and gorly. sort of throw out little history tidbits. from time to time and i really enjoy it. uh i think this is one of the only. podcasts where when i'm done listening. it i have to go google the references. oh of what you've mentioned right doing. that a lot and so my question was if. you um were to start your own history. museum what kind of. exhibits or artifacts would you like to. feature or have it be based around. wow that's a that's a really good. question uh i'm gonna.

say 19th century american that's. probably what i'm most interested in. civil war era late 19th century it's. such a kooky time there's just so many. so there's civil war stuff you can have. in the museum but also it was a time. when people were. were were creating these uh. you know utopian and i put that in quote. societies. that that where everyone was having sex. with each other these kooky societies in. upstate new york what. yeah yeah i'm not kidding and and there.

is. there's there's just filled with america. was just filled with con artists and. weirdos and freaks and not that we. aren't now but. but the 19th century uh such a. fascinating time to me. in america so that's i think what i. would what i would focus on. you know phrenologists were thought to. be very. learned men and they actually thought. that by feeling your head. and where the bumps are they could tell. things about you which is just. total and they had phrenology. heads that you've probably seen for sale.

sometimes in antique stores that. if there's a bump in this part of the. skull it means that this person. is an arsonist you know just total. nonsense. i don't know i that's the world i would. like to live in and i would probably. walk around. in that museum wearing a waistcoat with. a pocket watch and i would have a. fake waxed mustache and i would sort of. talk in that old timey voice. and i'd say welcome to my welcome to my. museum. it's good and if you get hungry there's. a nice place walk and roll is next door.

because it looks like you're an older. gentleman and i think it's. time to die that's what i would do. okay that makes sense because uh when. you started i thought you were. going down like a political route or. like presidential maybe like. monticello was like a secret house of. debacle debauchery sorry. i can't talk is yeah um uh and um there. was. you know there was some i wouldn't i. don't know debauchery is the word but. monticello is. kind of a fascinating place uh jefferson.

was an inventor he was kind of a. kooky inventor and so his inventions are. all over the place. and uh the first thing you see when uh. you walk into monticello is he had a. clock that he didn't want to be. rewinding it all the time so it has a. really long pendulum. that goes through an opening in the. floor and like down into. a deep chamber so that it it can last. longer and the weights go down that way. too it's really crazy. so yeah i uh interesting but i'm going. to give me the 19th century that's what. it is 19th century.

okay what's that sona lots of i'm just. curious about what these exhibits are. going to look like because you're making. it sound really like cool and sexy but. like you're. okay let me say something that's going. to differentiate my museum from other. museums i have a lot of connections in. show business. so okay come to my museum and you're. going to see. celebrities there dressed as different. historical characters. you know yeah i i have a lot of pull. with. with well-known people and um you know. so you know nicole kidman would be there.

dressed i mean she's not gonna be there. every day i've talked to her about it. and she can't do it every day but she. can do thursdays so. nicole kidman would be there wearing you. know. some outfit that someone wore at. lincoln's inaugural ball. his first not his second you know and. and just standing there. yeah it's kind of standing like a living. statue and then you walk up to her and. you pre. you press a button and she would do a. quick scene about what it was like to be. there that glorious day talking to mary. todd lincoln and then she'd freeze again. and then you'd press the button and. she'd have to say the exact same script. uh but i would get all kinds of a-list.

celebrities. to be there you know uh playing. different 19th century. people and it'd be the hottest ticket in. town let's make history. fun let's get a-list celebrities dressed. as 19th century icons. you know let's let's make this happen. let's get the rock dressed as mark twain. walking around saying things that mark. twain would say and i've talked to the. rock and he can't do thursdays but he. can do tuesdays. he can't do every tuesday but he's. pretty open in june and july. this is this is the kind of stuff that. i've been getting into.

i think will there be like a wrestling. featurette well you know when you have. the rock there. there's going to be some pressure he's. got to wrestle yeah and. he's going to say i'm not the rock. anymore i'm duane the rock johnson and. i'll be like let's cut the. you know you're mark twain you're mark. twain and you're gonna wrestle. and you're gonna you're gonna wrestle. now and you're gonna wrestle liam. hemsworth. who's uh who's dressed as john d. rockefeller. you know and and that's just a good. museum right that's the best museum i've.

ever gone to. yeah yeah it's really good beats the. smithsonian which is that museum.