Conan Tries To Get A Fan To Teach Him How To Pick Locks | Conan O’Brien Needs a Fan

Tell us a little bit about yourself, Christian. Well, there's not much to me, other than me being a locksmith. Well then, goodbye. (people laughing). I'll be leaving you now. It was nice knowing you. Yes, this is probably. the most boring episode. Well there's not much to me, he says. Besides what? You said something. So I'm a locksmith. Oh, you're a locksmith? That's the one. interesting thing about me, yeah. Are you good at being a locksmith? Oh, well I think so. Usually they say that the complaint that you get. if you're a good locksmith is you did that too fast.

That should have taken you longer. So if you're making a key for a car, or if you're trying to break into the customer's house. 'cause they left their keys inside. and it takes you two minutes and then they complain. They're like, shouldn't that have taken you longer? Do you ever try and stretch it out a little bit. just to make it look more impressive? No, 'cause I feel like it's more impressive. the quicker you are, the faster you are. That's been my approach to lovemaking my entire life. (Christian laughing). You know, that was just there and I did it.

I don't care. So let me ask you something. 'cause I have questions that intrigue me. Locksmiths can commit heinous crimes if they want. You have a superpower, which is you can go, I'm guessing, what, to any door, any car, and you can get in within maybe a minute or two? Yeah, like 90% of residential doors and commercial doors. Christian, what keeps you from committing robberies. on a massive scale?

My wife. Oh, your wife. Yeah, he keeps me in check. That's good. Yeah. That's good. All right, well good, yes. That's good, so she's the moral compass. She's the one that says... Yeah, yeah. Without her and her input in my life, I don't know where I would be. That's a very sweet thing to say because. when I look into your eyes, I see a man. who'll do anything to profit in this world. and you have the skill to do it. Let's be honest here.

Can you really break into anything? Let's just say residential, can you get into any house? Yeah, mainly because especially on this side. of the country, 90% of the locks are on. two major key ways or brands. And we have tools here. I got a little tool here. This is my favorite one to use. It's called the Lishi and this basically, you just put it in and you just feel every pin until it, you pick it, you go one by one and it actually. reads you the cuts.

Christian, could you teach me how to do this? I could, I don't know if I want to though, 'cause then I'm responsible for the heinous crimes. you may commit. No, what crimes? When I wake up with him in my bedroom. in the middle of the night. Oh, god. Oh, trust me, I've been in there. I've watched you sleep. It's something I do with all my employees. So scary the first time. Yeah. And you wear a night mask. It's weird. And a lot of creams on your face. True. Listen, I'm curious, Christian. Seriously, let's say we were in the same room.

You had that tool. We had some practice locks. Do you think you could teach me to pick most locks? With the right tools, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don't want to put anyone who's listening, give them anxiety, 'cause a lot of people do. put a lot of faith and trust into their locks. and they are secure. Most people don't know this knowledge, but with a little bit of practice and the right tools, yeah. Yeah, you could learn fairly quickly. You're a smart man, right, Conan? Well, in some areas, yes.

In some areas, there are stunning deficits. Let's just put it that way. Stunning deficits is gonna be. the title of my autobiography. You could pick it up. Now what about a car? I mean, cars must be impossible to get into now, right? So this actually, so this type of tool, the same thing, this Lishi actually was first made for cars. For cars, yeah. So there's numerous of different Lishis. 'cause there's different types of locks on cars, right? So basically-. But a lot of cars now use, I'm sorry to interrupt,

but a lot of cars now use electronic. They don't have a real place for a key. What do you do with that? Unless it's like a Tesla, they will have a key for the door handle. So you just pick that and you get in. If it's a push to start, then all you need is a programming tool. Do you have to pass some kind of morality test. to have that locksmith tool or that programming thing? You have to have a locksmith license. And so that is provided by the state. Okay.

All right, I have a question. Let's say I'm in a parking lot. It's late at night. I lost my keys, okay? And I'm stuck and I call you. Do you show up in your car? Yeah., I have a work van. I was actually originally trying to. do my interview with you in my work van, but last week, the engine literally pooped out. I need a new engine in that. So I'm in a spare van that has nothing interesting in there. Why didn't you just break into.

someone else's van and take it? (people laughing). 'Cause I try to be a good person, Conan. Oh, well that's where you and I divert. These types of questions is what. makes me think twice about teaching you. You're going to teach me and I wanna. get that special device. What's it called? The schluden-schlader? I'm getting a schluden-schlader. I have to have that. David, you have to get me that tool. I'm on it. What's it called again? It's called a Lishi. Lishi. Watch, I know David.

He's gonna come back with a jar of lychee nuts. (people laughing). And I'll be arrested. I found it. I'll be arrested trying to force them. into the door of a 1988 BMW. (people laughing). What a headline, though.