Conan Trash Talks His Non-Sponsors | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

yellow there and welcome to con O'Brien. needs a friend I wanted to start out a. little different so I went with yellow. there and that might become a thing yeah. like a Midwestern DJ from the 50s hello. there that's cool yeah that's that's. really cool by my pal yes the cool bar. here is exceedingly low joined by my. compatriots my Confederates. Compadres uh co-owners uh are we coers I. have steak in this thing oh no no not.

this no no I bought a 1954 Nash uh. Rambler and um we're co-owners I am. satisfied yeah uh it's an old kind of. car can you just do a different car that. I would know. yellow it's sonum obsess and yellow it's. Matt gorle M Sona I just had a very nice. experience I had to go into a jewelry. store to have one of my many chain. pendants. repaired why do you have so many chain. pendants Cuz Mr T sends me one like one.

that's cool and I feel like ownership of. that so um no I I had to have uh uh. something um fixed a little bit and I. went in there and they were immediately. like Conan and it's all because of you. every it's because they're Armenian and. they son as a hero I think you're kind. of discounting how big I am in the. Armenian Community oh are we yes oh they. did say where is fussy man. uhuh which is Armenian for coolest dude. ever.

yes of course well just look at my. posture anyway uh we uh we had a nice. exchange they were very happy that I. went to Armenia with you that is the. gift that keeps on giving es yeah in La. especially to have street cred with the. Armenians you're in yeah yeah Eduardo's. nodding a lot Eduardo your wife is. Armenian am I correct yes vones yes um. checked him out what do you mean check. him out he said he said how are you yeah. vones Oh I thought you said her name was. vones no her name's ASA but yeah I know. when you said vones no one everyone.

listening just assumed that was her name. me except our Armenian fans yeah which. we have a lot of which there are two and. they work at a jewelry store right up. the. street uh vones yeah but he said I said. BV and he said in and I said LA and he. went whoa yes him let's not keep it. pushing yes yes Graber gra don't don't. do that why don't do your fake Armenian. you're doing so well and it just a. matter of time before you Matt didn't. know it was F and I'm fluent yeah and.

you do say every now and then I hit a. real word accidentally no I don't Gabi. not at all. Hush Kush yeah yeah what dialect do you. speak I it's that I almost fell for it. do you even know that you asked a real. question yes oh no you don't I I speak. Western dialect yeah always assume that. oh come. on yes yes.

um uh anyway uh I'm in uh I I'm I think. I'm doing well in the Armenian community. and I think if we go Community by. Community eventually we'll have. everybody under our tent did they hook. you up can I go there and get some. for free yes they did hook me up they. gave me six PBS of dried. apricot it's rolled up like a carpet. hush yeah. hush like a carpet well you remember. when you and I went that's what they. kept giving us was dried apricot and. dried pomegranate and it was very it was. very.

but I said you know we call back home a. fruit rump and they said why are you. speaking in that crazy way and I said. I'm doing a comedy character and this is. a fruit rollup yeah and remember then. they said you need to leave Armenia. immediately yeah they did they almost. kicked us out of the country and they. also were like that's not funny even if. we understood what you were doing we. they said we understand the reference. now and it's still not funny yes yes. yeah and I said yeah you could fool me. cuz this looks like a fruit roll.

you doubl down I triple D but now it's. quadruple down cuz I think I'm on the. fourth go around of fruit rump but we uh. we had uh it we had a nice Bond and so I. do sincerely thank you uh for for uh. hooking me up in the Armenian Community. they're very nice people well you know. what I mean this is sincere it was your. idea to go there and that always meant. to lot to me so thank you for taking me. to Armenia well of course it was it was. cool free trips are the best trips.

also it was your Homeland I that's right. that's right yeah that it wasn't a Vegas. U-turn you. know and what is your what what would. you consider your ancestral Homeland. Matt would it be Scotland always thought. it was Irish then learned it was. definitely Scots Irish but now I I've I. think I'm mostly English so let's just. go hit all three you and me huh buddy. you know what I'm up for it okay um son. are you in on this trip yeah yeah are. you you you're paying well it's not. going to be me that's paying we're going. to a sponsor oh okay okay I'll totally.

go for reals yeah we're going to get. solo stove to back. this do we have to use a solo stove on. the plane we have to fly a plane that's. made of solo stoves they're all welded. together and the plane is constantly on. fire but there's no smoke yeah and it's. kind of a jet turbine exactly so uh. point it the right way no that's my idea. that I've had for a while and I think. I've mentioned this which is I just. start uh talking up a product a lot now. we have to have a relationship with solo.

stove they're not paying for this. mention right now this is a freebie for. you guys uh shout out to solo stove but. um I do think we should start talking. about products that we don't have a. connection to and then uh we'll get into. bed with them and and I mean like apple. where's Apple been right Apple's a huge. company and this is a cool podcast Adam. you and they need to advertise yeah yeah. because you know what I even hardcore. Apple Fans if they aren't made aware. yeah that there's a new Apple phone.

somehow through advertising or something. they're not going to know I need to buy. a new desktop I'll wait why don't you do. a preemptive Apple read right now. that'll get let them know that you. really care about the product you know I. love apple and I always have uh because. um well Apple just gets the job done you. know get her done wait that's not good. okay someone else that this this is that. this is a good so that does work because. that's uh Pixar it's uh Larry the Cable. Guy on cars who's Pixar which is owned.

by okay no one else made that connection. though he just sound like he was having. a breakdown he me to do that he's the. rain man of useless information that's. true so no but what I what I believe is. that look look I'm just going to say it. uh you know I I got the Apple watch I. use the uh the Apple phone as known as. the iPhone to many fans yes um and I see. the Apple watch on your wrist right. now are you trying to help or not I I. wear it when I'm exercising you're. wearing it somewhere else can I tell you. something else yes they make a special.

one for other regions of the body and we. just lost Apple you know who we have. Samsung and Samsung is great you know. Samsung is great do we really have. Samsung oh we have Samsung why are we. doing an Apple commercial I thought. about that halfway through Conan's Apple. read and I got can I say something can I. say something can I just say something. and let me let me just Riff Off The Top. This is just I just had this thought. app you know what I mean I'm. not buying I'm buying a new Samsung.

frame TV and guess what I'll tell you. something else this is why I should have. been talking about Samsung I don't even. by the way does anyone use an Apple. phone or is it called an Apple phone or. an if is it if phone or iPhone I think. it's if phone right everyone calls it an. Apple phone everyone does anyway keep. saying it those I mean but it just it. seems like a badly run company with a. product no one cares about here's the. thing Samsung they actually have a Conan. channel on the Samsung TVs and it just. plays me this is my wet dream.

my well I'm s byet dream I didn't mean. gross I me a dream that I would have at. night that would make. me Samsung are you listening yeah so I. guess I did mean what you thought I. meant I that's definitely what I thought. so anyway it's this channel have you. watched the Conan Channel I only watch. it's fantastic yeah it's amazing I don't. watch anything else and sometimes my. wife is saying oh you know I hear. Shoguns really good and I'm like we'll. watch that later more and her she's.

crying and her she wears a lot of. mascaras you know and it's just running. classic she's a yeah it's running down. her face like Tammy Fay Baker and she's. like I just heard sugar like quiet this. is me in '98 I'm killing it killing. it so uh yeah Samsung gets it done and. then I guess is what happened to Apple. they kind of kind of fell apart them L. were talking they went bankrupt that's. what I'm told we have that much kind of. power mhm and when I said that much kind. of power not a real sentence not much.

kind not much kind if I catch myself. before you do it's not a problem hey I'm. going to wrap it up right now I just. want to say yellow to all our. listeners and remember Samsung's the way. to go and if you need a phone I don't. know I wouldn't waste my money okay. don't they do everything what appliances. who are we talking about now Samsung Oh. I thought you were talking about Apple. Apple doesn't do okay now you're. going too far what if they what if. they're about to buy in oh okay oh yeah. we got to leave the door what did you. think about that yeah I I think we.

should leave the door open I going to. leave the door open to crack and say I. think they do uh make a fine product and. uh but we love Samsung we also we love. Sam we love Samsung but you know why. isn't there room in this world for both. I don't know what that voice is it's a. good yellow for all of you and uh VES. what' you say to me said VES and I can't. wait to meet her I can't wait to meet. your wife I'll be like vones vones. you're more beautiful than I thought and. she'll be like what are you talking. about um why are you saying you're more. beautiful than I thought Eduardo's wife.

yeah cuz I you think the vones is. weird you're way more beautiful than I. thought that is my you know what I've. been saying that there so many layers to. that I've been saying that to women for. so many years and I have to say it not. getting a good reaction no no so many. times I I say to women I say I you know. people bring their spouses by and they. go oh you're so much more beautiful than. I thought and it's weird you're. essentially saying I thought you were.

prior to seeing you yeah yeah and it. also implies I'm thinking about you a. lot yes and think of you as ugly right. hey would you do me a favor Eduardo tell. vonces tell vones I'm very sorry for. what I said and I didn't mean it and I. can't wait to meet. vones keep her away from him.