Conan Thinks Nikki Glaser Did The Greatest Roast Of All Time | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

you've been on the show many times and. always been incredible and you're having. some people have a moment and I think. that's nice they're having this moment. you're having more than a moment and. it's because you deserve it because you. are a spectacular joke writer an amazing. performer and your work ethic is off the. charts so to me when I watched you know. everyone was like oh my God you know. Nikki Glazer or Tom Brady roast and you. had this moment you're always having. moments like that it's just that the.

planets lined up and everybody was. watching do you know what I mean but it. was not oh isn't this incredible Nikki. had this amazing night that's what you. do thank you and I'm telling you that I. could tell that behind this incredible. set which will endure because it really. is no one's going to do a better Rose. set than that I don't believe I think. that's I think you just did this thing. which is now going to be like okay where. is it on the Nikki Glazer scale it's a.

it's a 6.2 really that's pretty good you. know it it's not her 10 I looked at that. and I thought this. is um lots of talent but Talent I've. always said doesn't interest me that. much what really interests me is uh work. ethic and process and I could tell and. then later on I read interview because I. it it my talent is my work ethic well. guess what I I'm right with you that I I. know I honestly believe that I was. looking at it and I was thinking she was.

not in a car on the way to this event. writing this on the back of an envelope. this is someone who got the assignment. and you correct me if I'm wrong and was. like okay this I'm going for it and I'm. going to put the work in so you tell me. what you did yeah I exactly what. happened I knew it was going to be this. moment that um a lot of people would. watch or talk about or I didn't realize. it would be as big as it was but all. these roasts that I've done I've always. kind of done the same process where I. like hire a team of writers and I treat.

like oh I'm uh if I was hosting the. Oscars or something I wouldn't do it. alone you like your standup act I think. a lot of times stand-ups have to Pride. themselves on like we just write. everything ourselves and I do that with. my own standup act but this I was like I. want it to be a collaborative effort I. know that that's how I've done great in. the past and it's it's and it's not my. natural inclination to be like a roasty. person I just I'm not I have to kind of. get in that mode so I instantly. assembled a team and was like here's. who's going to be doing the roast start. sending me jokes and then it gets then I. start thinking in roast mode and I can.

start writing jokes and then um and then. I took that set out uh so many times to. different clubs every single place and. then meeting with writers afterwards in. between sets moving things around oh. let's change that word should I say. or like like you know. getting down like having really I'm so. glad you went with right uh. really having these really intense. discussions about just you know the the. way you do when you're you're preparing. for something like this but I just. couldn't I just didn't want to go I.

didn't want to have a set no matter what. happened I knew that I could walk away. from that whether I did poorly or great. I tried my best and then I would have no. regrets I love the the feeling of doing. well but I also maybe more than that. hate and despise and loathe the feeling. of I missed it yeah that makes me feel. so sick to my stomach and so awful for. so long and then revisits me like Po. Marley's ghost like a Time After Time.

After Time in the night you missed it it. wasn't as good as it could have been I. get shivers down my I literally will. convulse I'll be in bed and go I'll. shake with what I a line that I could. have said that I blew in that moment and. and it'll it'll send a shiver down like. my boyfriend will sometimes see me and. I'm just like because I go I could have. said this one thing and and I I'm I'm. plagued by regret about things and I. just wanted to not I'm always trying to. avoid that feeling cuz it's the worst. feeling my wife will be in she turns in.

usually earlier a little bit earlier so. I'm she's usually like reading or she's. about to go to sleep and I'll be. brushing my teeth in the bathroom and. I'll be like yeah and she'll be. like what happened what happened like a. bat flew in and bit you and I'll say. no my interview with Eartha kit. 1994 I I wasn't I didn't have the. experience and she came at me and it was. just a mess yes and um I'm not kidding.

and so no I'm sure but I was looking at. uh your set was. relentless and at a certain point I can. tell that you. know there's one thing when uh I don't. know it's like in physics or something. where a he a fire is so hot that then. the the like the air around it catches. fire and there's no stopping it at some. point you got to a point where you knew. oh this is you had to I can see it yeah.

I think you're right I think I think. before when people have asked me about. this I've said I never really. felt okay and like I could relax until I. sat down but I think when you just said. that I'm like no there was a point where. I felt the audience like embrace me and. I felt there's just these moments where. you get confidence that you don't. necessarily have walking into it and I. go oh actually I do I think I do deserve. to be here and maybe like these people. like me and like they Trust this is.

going to go well and I've said this so. many times I don't even need to look at. the prompter like I didn't need to read. it I was kind of on my own I I had it. memorized you know what you have coming. so you know like I have you're a. Bombadier and you know like well I've. dropped 35 very but there's 75 still. back in the payload and so you know. you're loaded up and and and I think I. had probably there was one joke in the. middle that I the wording was tripping. me up on a couple sets so once I got. past that one.

which was the one that was going to be. my Achilles heel once I got over that I. was like okay well then the rest of this. is going to be fine I know what I like I. you said I know what I have coming I. felt prepared and it really taught me. that I need to do that more often I need. to give that kind of effort to. everything I do and then there was this. moment afterwards where I was like I. can't give that much effort to. everything I do but you know you you. have to choose your spots like I've had. moments in my life where I always where. it's something's coming up and it's you.

know on a big scale and what I do is I. act like this is a bank heist I have to. find eight people are going to help me. plan this we we work on it every day. yeah and you were there son when I would. whether it was you know hosting award. shows or White House correspondence in. or something okay I'm going to do the. Late Night show and then when I'm when. the show is over we're all going right. upstairs and jokes are going to fight it. out and new jokes are going to come in. and some jok are that we thought were.

funny are going to drop out and it's. just going to be and you do that you go. and you go and you go and you go and you. go and you do that for weeks and I think. the reason I talk about this stuff some. people might listen and say like well. this. isn't you know this is not fun to hear. about or and I think people need to know. that it's not just really smart funny. person Nikki Glazer got up in a room and. killed that there's a whole Arc behind. it that speak speaks to your character.

that brought you to that point and I do. think people need to know that well I. I'm like I don't want anyone to know. because I want them to think I just did. this on my own and it was just off the. top of my head and I'm that and I'm just. that funny all the time and the truth is. that's no that was so much preparation. going into that it felt like a Olympic. balance beam gymnast routine like that's. how precise everything had to be in that. moment and because it was live and there. was no edit and and pass rast you can. kind of go oh this joke kills 80% of the.

time I'll take a risk with that 20% if. it happens they'll cut it out I know the. editor I can text him but this was like. no these we only have to do 100% jokes. that do 100% so we had to get them to. that or they didn't make the cut and. that was really sad because a lot of. jokes didn't make the cut but I felt. afterwards I had like a a couple days. maybe even longer of feeling like oh no. everyone's going to expect me to be like. in this roast mode all the time where. I'm just this like Assassin that gets up. there and it's always this on and it's.

just not that just took W I can't do. that every day also and I felt scared. also you're such a nice person and and. uh and and the thing is the thing is no. you are you're a very I mean I've known. you a long time you're a very nice. person and unfailingly nice to like you. come in the building you're you're. you're kind to everybody uh you're very. genuine um you've always been extremely. kind to me and it gets to this point. where you think it's great to kill at a.

roast but also what's so nice is uh I. watched your. special uh you know someday you'll die. and I was and it's very different from. the roast but very good and and also. very good and my point is you can do so. much more than that that you don't want. to be someone who's like you know it's. Nikki the roast girl you don't want to. do that because there's a lot more you. than that and you know there's I think.

but you know when I did the roast it was. like everyone's like this is the. greatest thing we've ever seen you won. MVP I've never gotten that for anything. I've ever done in my life I mean maybe. for appearances on your show because. honestly I treated that this in the same. way I would prepare in ways that I don't. really prepare for no offense other I. mean I I do prepare a lot for talk shows. but you just mean have meant so much to. me that I wouldn't I I I would always. have everything memorized that I was. going to say and like know the and know. the order and it was like it was a lot.

of work went into all those appearances. and I would get that kind of um those. accolades after I would do those things. and I go I can't live up to this I just. got to be who I am and it's so. tough isn't it like to just like accept. that you aren't what you might want to. be because I want to be you you know and. I'm just not and that's okay and I watch. you and sometimes it's hard to watch you. to be honest because you're so sharp and. quick and your word choice is so I mean.

I studi did you just say this ising I. would love I would love to be Conan. O'Brien I would give anything I know. you're a tortured soul but you know but. can I just say can I but he also. tortures other Souls that's right that's. yeah that's called collateral damage and. you're going to take it I last time I. checked you're still getting a paycheck.