Conan Thinks His Target Audience Is 11-Year-Olds | Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend

let's do review the reviewers we haven't. done that in a while it's where i. sort of comb through the sometimes. blisteringly positive reviews on apple. podcasts and find some that are worth it. i do like to know what the people are. thinking i don't want anyone no you. don't i do actually i have people. approach me on the street all the time. and talk to me about the podcast and i. do enjoy that but this is a chance for. me to get outside my little bubble uh. and and find out. how people really feel well this one is. kind of carrying on a theme that i'm.

starting to notice or a pattern and i. think we might want to address it this. is similar to one we've had before the. subject is conan cool it's five stars. and it's written by. igdet and it goes like this conan and. the chill chumps are cool exclamation. mark by the way i'm 11 and i listen. slash watch you. exclamation mark that's like the third. 10 or 11 year old we've had lever. reviews saying they listen to this show.

i want to say that that fills my heart. with glee. because i've always thought. that my target audience was about 11. and i. i think that this is proof that uh. that i'm correct. my whole career i've always thought. there are children out there who. completely understand what i'm doing and. yeah. you know for years in my monologue i'd. have jokes and some were better than. others but then i started just playing. peek-a-boo with the camera i would tell.

the i would tell the cameraman to lock. off the camera and and early on the. cameraman would follow me if i walked to. the right of the left and i would tell. them don't lock it off don't move it. i'll walk out of camera and then i'll. peek back in and i would see. you know 350 people in the audience all. adults laughing really hard when i. peeked back in and i realized that we're. all 11 year olds. we're smaller we're we're six year olds. we're five-year-olds the fact that i. by p but leaving the frame and then.

peeking back in would make people giggle. and i thought i think inside all of us. or most of us there is that little kid. and so the fact now that actual children. are writing in and saying this. uh show matches my intellectual and. emotional capacity perfectly that makes. me very happy. you know the show is very visual and. this is you. saying things so i i wonder what it is. about how you say things or what you say. that is appealing to.

children. well that's a that's a very valid point. that's true i can understand why the. show i would act like a foolish man um. what is it now about hearing me. uh i don't i don't know i don't know if. any of you have any insights into why. uh right now i'm speaking you'd think. that that would not make an 11 year old. laugh or 10 year old but i think often. in my conversations um do funny voices i. think i do some funny voices but i think.

maybe they can just tell. this man is stunted developmentally. yeah i think that comes across. i mean i think it doesn't matter who i'm. talking to we had an interview with uh. supreme court justice sotomayor not too. long ago and and. i did my best to be thoughtful and to. hold my own and discuss the great issues. of the day. but also i i showed uh terrible lapses. into foolishness and childishness with. some of my questions and um did you hear. that she got impeached just for being i.

i i i i just. she did and even she didn't even fight. it that was the interesting thing they. they impeached. the first she introduced the article the. first is. the first time they've removed to. sitting justice and they brought it to. her and she said uh there's what can i. do i deserve to go. she did the podcast and then just went. back and started packing up yeah. it was instantly i think what she did is. she said i'm off to do conan's podcast. start packing while i'm gone career.

suicide by podcast yeah and then uh she. said to one of the the the clerks uh and. that nice ceremonial gavel they gave me. this uh 200 years old that i got when i. began extreme court uh justice you. should just put that in the shredder. because um. i'm off to do conan o'brien's podcast so. our biggest response to her appearance. was from 10 and 11 year olds who said i. know how an 11 year old finds their way. to this podcast is it through their.

parents or on their own well. we do. i've tried to get lots of tie-ins with. children's products. so yeah. so there's a lot of toys out there if. you go to any toy store and i know they. don't exist anymore it's all online so. don't get me there. but um most toys now show up. um. with a picture of me somewhere on the. box that says as discussed on conan's on. uncle conan's podcast and these are. these yeah these are toys for like three. and four-year-olds they say.

um be careful. uh you know don't don't leave unattended. with you know this. block. yeah no no no no. please don't go down that road um no i. uh i'm doing all i'm doing what i can to. make sure that i get a lot of tie-ins i. do a lot of nickelodeon appearances. um yeah my dermatologist have you been. slimed i've been slimed so many times my. dermatologist said that it's eating into. my bone they found green slime in my. marrow. so i've got to stop that um i toured.

with the wiggles for a while when they. were. making their new zealand tour i'm doing. everything i can to make sure that i get. to very young children so that they grow. up thinking conan o'brien is. the podcaster oh you're indoctrinating i. am indoctrinating them yes okay yeah. gotcha well then why did this kid call. us chumps yeah good question the hill. yeah kid he loves me he thinks you guys. are extraneous i think it's because he. can tell both of you. occasionally laps into.

uh sober thought and reflection. and he knows that i'm the one that will. never let him down the 24-hour clown. i just wanted the ending to rhyme. and i did yeah peace out eight-year-olds. mike dropped. yes mike. nope we picked it back up i grabbed the. mic and i dropped it mic drop i put a. little net above the floor cutting that. now dropping mike mike falls through net. mike hits floor mic drop huge magnet on.

ceiling raises. machine i have built by scientist. reverses polarity of your magnet fires. mike into ground it sticks to ground mic. i'm involved in a nuclear accident in. the 1950s and control the gravitational. matter in the earth's core i travel. further back in time than you do i shoot. you when you're 15 years old i make sure. that you cannot reverse the polarity mic. drop mike can never be picked up again. you don't exist killed by me when you're. 15.

my ultimate plan comes true now i don't. have to do this podcast. [Laughter].