Conan, Sona, & Gourley Discuss Baseball’s New Rules | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

I have a suspicion that most of our fans. are hardcore. sports fanatics and. um I think we should talk about baseball. because baseball has changed. significantly this season and. everybody's talking about it I mean this. is a game that has been around it's been. America's past time. forever and going back to the 19th. century and now they've fundamentally. changed it in these fascinating ways. well you've come to the right two people. you guys have any ideas.

no clue oh wait you know what I heard. that they did a bunch of stuff to make. the game go faster yes games were. getting very long and I think the. average game at one point was pushing. three hours more than three hours more. than three hours so Eduardo feel free to. time feel free to weigh in because you. know about this but one of the things is. there's a there's a pitch clock so you. know the one you'll be watching baseball. and the pitchers fidgeting and then the. batter steps out of the box but then. gets back in again. and you think this is come on let's go.

yeah so baseball players are like. notorious for being habitual everything. so and and superficial uh superstitious. excuse me so they'll reset their batting. glove after every pitch yeah and so. that's what would lead to the three-hour. game but now there's a pitch clock. there's a pitch clock they also made. there's a pitch clock so the pitcher has. to pitch by a certain time the batter. can't be stepping out of the box all the. time right it's like an automatic strike. or ball right if either the pitcher or. the or the batter uh goes over the other.

thing they did is they made the bases. bigger how big are we talking like 20. feet it was so funny it's so funny then. I watch Cloud faces they're they're uh. they're much larger I think they're. several inches larger which makes a huge. difference a couple inches bigger yeah. which encourages more stolen bases to. make the game because we're getting into. a rut where it was either massive home. runs or strikeouts this is like what. they did to the Oscars now I'm. understanding what yeah okay okay yeah. and uh but it's got me thinking they.

should do more you know like I'm. thinking and this is the thing I've. always thought about which is uh and. just hear me out Baseball fans but. if when you hit the ball. you're up the plate you hit the ball you. have the option you can run to first or. you can run to third that would be. really nice now check this out once. you've committed to your base your base. direction that remains your base. direction for the until yeah you have to.

so you have players now you can't just. run to Third and then suddenly be on. Third and just have one more base of. course no no once you run to third third. essentially becomes first but there's a. adds a whole level of strategy and I do. want people to hear me out on this and. consider this this is my platform it's a. brilliant idea and so you have to make. it you have to make a split second. decision about I hit the ball I'm gonna. running to first or am I running to. Third and it changes everything now. here's the cool thing. if you do this you start to get players.

Crossing each other in the base path. okay do they have to high five or do. they have to like knowledge no you don't. this is what happens when players cross. each other you use special effects and. one of them it's not dangerous they're. wearing special suits but when they. cross each other both Catch Fire briefly. it would look so cool. no there'd be like a pyrotechnic burst. as they cross each other. and it would look so cool in an.

increasingly competitive job market it's. important to make sure your brand stands. out from the crowd that is important. Sona yeah. vegan cupcakes from your kitchen or. marketing your wedding photography. business I'm just making these up yeah I. can tell Squarespace helps you create a. modern platform through engaging and. aesthetically pleasing online presence. that's important if things look nice. people will buy with member areas you. can unlock a new Revenue stream for your. business and free up time in your. schedule by selling access to gated. content like videos online courses or.

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code Conan to save 10 off your first. purchase of a website or domain can you. imagine on instant replay like a burst. of flame behind each of their backs. they're fine they're safe but when they. just as they pass each other people. would be watching the game hoping that. players would cross each other on the. base pass so they'd see that burst of. flights like Hunger Games because she. has that dress that goes on fire exactly. and a lot of our sports fans listening. right now really trying to understand. yeah movies right yeah okay all right I.

don't know about the fire but okay that. might have been stupid the fire was. Eduardo what do you think I like I like. the idea of being able to run it's great. every direction you want but then what. do you do. when you hit for a double right and you. got to run a second you'll always get it. to Second but then you can get two. people out at the same time without even. doing a double kill like how do double. plays work exactly yeah you just well. you just well step on one base and both. of them are out uh I don't know no no no.

that would have to be adjusted and again. that's where I think the Flames might. help. um don't trust me the Flames are I know. it's a little theatrical but uh a little. I'm gonna stick to it okay but um I know. there's stuff that needs to be worked. out I'm not saying that that this is. automatically uh you know okay this is. interesting though because aren't people. like chosen just because they play first. base really well but now they'd have to. be good at first and essentially third. right but also what if then teams would. know the guy at third base isn't as.

great so we're gonna quickly uh we're. gonna we're gonna hit the ball and he's. gonna go to third but that may end up. being a mistake depending on where the. other hitters in the lineup hit right so. I think we're basically going is from. Checkers to three-dimensional chess oh I. agree I think this is great is it still. called first second and third base I. mean is it like good question as well. the third should be no no first no no. and then uh first clearly we've chosen.

the right committee. yeah second will always be second yeah. yeah. um but if you want if third is thirst. then so be it and uh thirst third and. second what's on thirst yes Third Base. Third Base third base. um. I just think there was a bunch of new. ways to improve the game I agree and is. this helping the time stuff actually the. game's sped up now somebody has to put. out the fire though right so that's.

gonna take time no no the fire is not. don't let's not be silly about the fire. oh the fire is not a thing to be. ridiculed or. this isn't funny what it is is it's just. a quick pyrotechnic Burst when they when. they cross each other and um it's just. gonna look very cool no one's what are. they wearing they have stuff on their. head that's Fireproof. by blowing out a birthday candle candle. so it's so easy the amount of stuff in.

your hair come on no it's so it's. ridiculous it's so easy for something to. catch on fire you you. practically work candle wax into your. hair every morning. I'm going to talk. thing in here there's just some. mayonnaise and some spackle and that's. it. I'm not going to be ridiculous I just. think a lot of people are gonna die uh I. would make it more first of all that. would get some attention Eduardo that's. what I'm pitching is we keep all the. changes they've made but when you hit.

the ball you can choose your own base. path I like it and I would like the. league to start considering my ideas I. think that baseball has taken the first. step but needs to take literally maybe. nine more steps you want to like. professional wrestling. put that veneer on baseball basically I. want the bats to be made of different. materials so the balls move much much. more quickly and are more lethal and um. I think that's going to be cool because. then there's going to be a real like. scary element I got it on that and this.

kind of thematically goes with your. basis thing so they don't have a bat. they have a Broad Sword and they can hit. it with the flat end like a bat or they. can hit it with a sharpen and it splits. the ball in two yeah and so then they're. headed towards either Thursday and you. have to field both halves yes yeah in. order for them and by the time they get. home but there's a little gold coin in. the ball yes that comes free when you. cut it in half and if an opposing player. can get to that coin yes and swallow it. yes then everybody's out now we're.

talking is it chocolate it's got a. little chocolate in it oh cool yeah but. also for reasons I don't understand some. asbestos as well yes. um ah listen I'm just baseball I'm here. yeah and I am ready to talk because you. just want baseball to contact you yeah. yeah I want the concept of I don't want. to hear from Major League Baseball. boring yeah I want the concept of. baseball can there be like I don't know. robots are there robots in the Japanese.

I had a robot waiter come serve me at. Hof's Hut the other day you know that. they could do it at baseball so yeah. well there could be baseball each team. could have one robot okay they're. talking about having robot umpires well. there should be two seasons yeah two. seasons but not you're just you're just. talking about the same kind of robot. that tells you oh I'm thinking no no. you're talking about the kind of robot. that says the ball was uh Over The Line. in tennis which is basically just a. sophisticated laser system we want real.

it is my turn to bat suck on this yeah. we want those kind of robots clink Clank. clink Clank yeah did you ever play. baseball I played stickball a lot when I. was a kid okay not coming from like a. position of like you're coming from I. played this and I know it's not even a. little change yeah you didn't play any. little league no I tried to play Little. League when I was in my 30s and they I. was just I didn't play Little League. either you say it like every I thought. every kid played Little League Baseball.

we did have a stickball we had a wall. that had a spray painted uh Strike Zone. and I played stickball a lot which I. loved and and we would play it with a. tennis ball okay it was a lot of fun you. were a little rascal I really was and I. I played it and yeah I would sell. newspapers that said the Hindenburg. exploded and then I would go play. stickball with my friends. and then it was time God for all of us. to go up to our tenement house and Ma. would cook us some yam stew then we'd. listen to Roosevelt on the radio.

all right that's it for now I'm waiting. for your call baseball.