Conan’s Uber Driver Didn’t Recognize Him | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

hello con O'Brien here welcome to con. O'Brien needs a friend and uh I feel. like I have two friends with me right. now sonum obsessin and I believe it's. Matt Matthew Matt gorley and uh I think. we're Pals we have a good flow people. like the way that uh we work together. that's weird that yeah people like our. kind of relationship even though I don't. think we. do I don't think that's important yeah. the chef doesn't have to love what he's.

making you know and um he doesn't he. probably should shouldn't he yeah why. would he make something he doesn't like. that doesn't make sense what a terrible. shot what are we doing here here you go. some more I. make what are you talking about I think. this is a lovely cair oh. no. I hated it why do you hate it so. much since childhood uck by lightning.

everything tastes like to me why. did you become a. chef I heard I like the. Hat it's fun to wear it it's called a. toque all. [Laughter]. right just really you got into this all. food that you ingest tastes like. excrement to you. because you were struck by. lightning as. child so you serve it I hate.

it even watching you eat it makes me. sick but you stayed in it because of the. toque why are you going over this again. and again we established everything it. seems like bad improv trick not at all. I'm just trying to say that you tasted. things and they he we've gone through it. why do you repeat so much well it turns. out I was struck by lightning and uh as. child and so I tend to overset things up.

that's what I do you and I could be. friends both struck by. lightning you set things up right I tend. to set things up now just to summarize. you were hit by lightning oh I'm going. to kill. you and. then it made you go over things too much. when you're doing a podcast is that. [Laughter]. right uh man I don't know where that one.

started but I think we had a good time. we had a good journey oh man we learned. a lot I think about ourselves and about. I learned you did you can do a French. accent a German accent and an Italian. accent all at the same time and they all. sound end up sounding Russian yeah but. at least that guy was from Croatia oh no. okay all right yeah okay yeah so anyway. I just wanted to clear the air on that. yeah you know I just why Croatia popped. into my head huh I I took uh uh you know.

a a uber today uh to get here and I um. my I I'm a guy who talks to the driver I. always like to I'm one of those people I. don't know where you guys fall I choose. no conversation on you you do that yeah. I do I I just I'm not good at small talk. I don't mean that to be antisocial but I. just I want to sleep okay and what about. you I do both so I'm either not talking. at all or he's coming up into my. apartment checking out the sofa I'm. trying to get rid of and that's true.

story that's a true story Sona you got. to have boundaries yeah you got. boundaries you're right you know whether. you're on a cross country drive or on. your daily commute time in the car is. perfect for listening to podcasts like I. don't know this. one T-Mobile covers more highway miles. with 5G than anyone their Network helps. keep you connected to all your favorite. podcasts when you're out and about mhm I. got to tell you I like to road trip. sometimes I do too and I I have T-Mobile.

and I I can honestly say there's. coverage that's important like there. have been times in my life where I'm out. on the road driving around and uh. especially on those family trips you're. out in the desert you want to make sure. you have that coverage yeah what if you. get like your car breakes down and. you're just there sitting there like a. chump yeah with no coverage not this guy. I've got T-Mobile got 5G find out more. at t-mobile.com Cy that's s Wy I'm I'm. going to tell you this I do not I I've.

seen the the little switch that says no. uh that you can tap that says no. conversation this is me to be completely. honest I'm afraid that if I hit. that they're going to think oh I'm. driving a like a stuck up snob yeah and. so I will never hit that and then I go. too far the other way where they hit it. on you trust me I think some of these. people would because I say I mean this. guy today I could tell he was from you. know and I said well where you from and.

a lot of times this is actually works. out nicely because uh there are many. drivers who are Armenian and then we. chat and they know that I've been to. Armenia with you and we have like a. really good. conversation uh and they like that I. know like three words um and uh in. English in English but then uh today the. guy was from Croatia and we were just. talking back and forth and I got his. whole story like his whole life story. and was actually pretty.

and so uh I got out of the car and I. felt like oh good I I really I really. got to know that guy I hope he liked it. too you made a friend he had no idea who. I was um he was asking me what I do and. I just said I just work in television um. I think he thinks I'm a TV repair man. maybe yeah I fixed flat screens but we. had a it was it was really nice I don't. know that's cool you made a new friend I. think no I don't I think I think that's. it I think that's it well at least it. was pleasant cuz I think you have to be.

too if you're not a pleasant person that. could like PE and if someone recognizes. you then well this is something I i'. very envious of are the people who have. made their. reputation and we' you know like a Jack. Nicholson or Harrison Ford or like. people who are you know these big stars. obviously in this whole other caliber. than anything I would ever be where if. you went up to them and said hey man and. they said off you'd say wow yeah.

yeah that's so cool I'm I'm not that. person if someone came up to me and I. went you better off uh it's like. you're an. when you dancing around like an. idiot on TV all those years you're. acting all friendly you're a sham and. then they would just start hitting me. with a 2x4 that's true that's true yeah. I know but that's I don't I mean you. can't be that guy you can't be like a or. har no no no I don't I I don't have that. uh incredible you.

know so I'm not self-possessed like that. and I also those are people that are. larger than life you see them on the. screen and they're Larger than Life I. managed to be much smaller than life cuz. people have seen me on small televisions. mhm well and you need people to like you. yeah you mean oh like I need a friend. yeah yeah we have a little breakthrough. here yeah well I think they could like. punch someone in the face and people be. like oh my God he punched me in the face. and then with you they sue.

you well also they'd have to feel it. first and they say like was that a cool. breeze I just gave you a a chop to the. jaw I just I just played a little chin. music with uh with my right hook oh I. didn't really oh so you struck me yes I. did oh I thought a I thought a a very. old butterfly had a stroke and then a. cool wind blew it against my cheek.

but if you struck me I'm suing you now. all right I'll pay up I don't think that. would go too well uh uh but anyway were. you signaling me that I should get on. with it yeah okay it was awkward cuz. then I just looked at you and you didn't. signal me I did I held up the rap sign I. know but I didn't I saw something in my. peripheral vision and this is a note to. all my wouldbe attackers I think I'm. losing my peripheral vision oh so ninjas. time to get me uh but I saw a little.

Flash oh I saw I saw a finger a middle. finger go up for I think for half a. second I was just itching my eye okay. well again peripheral vision starting to. go you thought now that your peripheral. vision's going away now ninjas can. attack you as in before you had it. ninjas are going to be fine with a full. frontal assault on please I think first. of all I think there's a whole many many. many different sections of the Assassin. League uh that have been trying to get.

me for years but they I have legendary. peripheral vision so the ninjas have. just been waiting around smoking. cigarettes playing maang waiting ninjas. don't smoke cigarettes yes they do oh. they're such chain smokers they cut out. little holes in the ninja mask they puff. away well now they do ecigarettes those. ones that smell like bubble. gum like do I smell bubble gum oh look. ninjas waiting for Conan to lose his. pereral vision.

and reading Us. magazine they broke up they sure did oh. they seem like such a good couple Hey I. just heard that from an eye doctor that. Conan's losing his per for vision. everyone get your throwing stars it's. time.