Conan’s Favorite Conspiracy Theory - "Conan O'Brien Needs A Fan"

My question is, um, what conspiracy theory. would you like to start / do you have a. favorite conspiracy theory? Oh, wow. Okay. That's really interesting. Yeah, I, I, I don't, I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I, I think most conspiracies rely on hundreds and hundreds. of people keeping a secret. Yeah. And my experience in life is that two people can't. keep a secret. (laughs). So, if you're, you know, whether you're a queuing on. or whoever you are, they're conspiracy, when you ask them to.

explain how it works, it's always will hundreds of thousands. of people in the post office, veterinarians, people that work in strip clubs, ah, you know, um, dentists, they're all working together. on this vast conspiracy. And it's not, no, that's not how humans are. So no one can keep a secret. So I don't usually believe in those. Ahem. I like the silly ones, like, Elvis is still alive.

or Elvis is spotted. Yeah. Really? Really, cause I just like, I, I, first of all. I like thinking about Elvis Presley still being alive. And then I liked that he's just hanging around. 7-Eleven's at a time when most people are. are drunk and that's why they see him. So, wouldn't you just come back. and reclaim your fortune, you know? Exactly. And hasn't it been enough time? You've been away long enough. Wouldn't you come back now and say. (Elvis impersonation). Hey, everybody. (laughing). I, I kind of lay low there for awhile.

Did about 60 years kind of just appearing. in the night and how people see me. Well, I think I'm going to come by right now and. reclaim my, my nice home and all my royalty checks. and sorta be rich and famous again. I mean, that's, that's what I think. I think he'll come back. So that's, might be my favorite one. Yeah, okay. That's a good one. Yeah. (Elvis impersonation). Real sorry about disappearing on everybody, causing a national mourning. every year at the time of my death. which was August 16th, 1977.

Conan knows that, but he's a creep. You just had to throw that in. Just so we knew that, you know. This is Elvis talking. So Elvis knows that I know. Oh (laughs). Conan O'Brien, a pretty dedicated fan, he happens to know that I passed away August 16th, 1977. in my home in Graceland. Anyway, I'm back now. Sorry for the misunderstanding. (Conan laughing). Yeah. I love that, I love how in this conspiracy theory. Elvis is, is he poor? Yeah.

He has like no, no, Of course, he's been. He's just roaming around? He's been wandering around. Where's he going to get, first of all, he has no credit cards. All he has is a gas card from Texaco that expired in 1977. So it's not like he can walk into places and get money. So he works a little odd jobs here and there. I don't know. And nobody notices it's him? Well, he's, it's a lot of, it's a long time later. So he looks a lot different. Oh, okay. You know, he's, he'd be like, uh, what would he be now? He'd be like 90 years old or 85 years old.

He's an old guy. And so he's this 85 year old man is walking into places. and saying, (Elvis impersonation). I can try and repair your Atari game, if you want. (women laughing). In the back there. I can clean up by the pool, if you want. I could skim that pool. Oh, look old man, you. Cleaning pool. Yeah, that's what he's doing. Come on, it' Elvis. On occasion, he gets frustrated and he was like, huh, (Elvis Impersonation). I really want that chicken sandwich. Well, sir, you can't have it. You gotta leave. (Elvis impersonation). You know, I'm, I'm gonna tell you something that.

I haven't told anybody, I'm Elvis Presley. Sir, you're not Elvis Presley. You're an old man. (Elvis impersonation). I'll tell you. ♪ Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfilled ♪. (women laugh). You know what, it sounds credible, but no, you're out. Get out, get out of here, get out your hobo. So that's my favorite one, that Elvis is wandering. around with no money doing odd jobs and appearing to. people and then occasionally showing up in a, in a tabloid. You know? Oh, poor Elvis. Yeah. Nice. Nice. I love that. What about one that you would want to start?

Let's see, one that I would want to start. That's a really good one. I think, well obviously, I think it should be. about me, if I'm starting it, right? Yes. Yeah. Sona, what would be a good rumor to start. about me that would just really help. What's the obvious thing that I'm an incredibly, sensual. Oh. You know, but that's, That you're like just an incredible lover. Yes. Is that what you mean? Yes, incredible lover who's chosen to remain. married to the same woman for, for 19 years.

That's not a conspiracy theory, is it? No, not really. That's not a conspiracy. It would be like, oh, your dad invented something. Rumor. That's just a rumor. Yeah. What I did was just invent a rumor that I'm a great lover. and that's not a conspiracy theory. And the fact, the fact that I, that, that I think that it's so insane. that anyone would think I was a great lover. That it's so insane that it would fall into the category. of conspiracy theory, tells you something about myself. Oh my God. I just love, I love people pouring over all this evidence.

Like, is he though, is you really a good lover? What about this time he said this. Yeah, why is his wife always crying? (women laughing). I, let's see, yeah. That's a good one. My dad invented something. That's a good kind of rumor to have. Do you want to be in the Illuminati? I mean, I, if I was going to do something. I would want to be in the Illuminati. And also, I'm catholic, so that makes sense. that I'd be in the Illuminati, right? Yeah. Cause that's like a, you know, whoever's in it,

sounds cool. You'd be in there with like Beyonce and Jay Z. Like wouldn't you wanna be part of that? And, you know that like Steven Colbert, he's religious. So they could say that the only reason Stephen Colbert. and Conan O'Brien do talk shows is. because we were sent out by the Illuminati to infiltrate. And we're part of that. And we're, if you look at our shows, we're both in very different ways using our comedy. and our interviews to, ah, to push the, the, ah,

the goals of the Illuminati forward. There we go. And this is part of a, this is an 800 year old mission that we've been given. And that whenever we're in our shows go dark. people would notice our shows go on hiatus at the same time. And they don't know this, but Stephen Colbert. and I both go to Rome and we done robes. and we go into like a secret catacomb. and we take part in all these rituals. And then it's time for us to go back and be idiots. on TV again. Yeah. Yes, that's good. All right, that's my rumor. That's my conspiracy theory. Conspiracy theory. Yeah. That two of the hosts,

Stephen Colbert and Conan O'Brien are part. of the Illuminati. And they're trying to get some of the other hosts involved, but like Seth Meyers isn't having it. You know, it's not his religion and. You can't recruit anybody. I can't recruit anybody and they just, we're always calling them. And they're always like, is this about the Illuminati? James Corden is like, is this about the bleeding Illuminati again? Is this is about the %$#@ Illuminati? (women laughing). Sorry. I'll do a karaoke with you in the car. and we can talk about how Mother Mary was secret.

(James Corden impersonation). No, we're not going to talk about the $#@! Illuminati. (women laughing). Yeah. I think we, you know what, we worked out a lot. lot of stuff here, Jenna, I'm really happy about this.