Conan’s Family Wasn’t Cut Out For The Country Club | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

over the years I guess it's become well. known Sona that you are my assistant and. that you are Armenian yes people just. come up to me now wherever I am yeah in. any situation and say Conan I'm Armenian. but. if and I know to say because I've we. went to Armenia together oh in pek and. then we are everywhere everywhere but. the the thing is it's almost like if if. other people around and like ah is it a. UR andal I'll leave them alone no.

Armenians just like and I'm I I don't. mind it I love them they're very nice. but I'm starting to notice that they. will crash through a wall if I'm alone. in a room and go conen Bev I'm like hey. whoa inch pet I will say I mean just my. experience is we're not great with with. boundaries right and we don't take pick. up on like social cues of when it's okay. and not okay to say I think they're. really excited see they excited and they. always want to hear like how is doing.

they want to know how you're doing but. then I don't imagine that's the case M. Goran oh M Goran Mt Goran gor I just. said Mt Goran I I just wanted to tweak. it a little I wanted to punch it up yeah. it's G Goran but though then they ask. they want to know all about you and I. say you've got these you know these twin. boys they want to know you know they're. always very interested in the fact that. who did you marry and I say like Relax. He's Armenian yeah so they don't get mad. at if you tell them their cuz I am a.

little self-conscious that I name them. such American names do they like look of. course Mikey and Charlie no I never. bring that up cuz I think they might not. like it oh really yeah because well I. never say because I was surprised when. you told me when you said that the twins. are born this is like three years ago. now I was so. excited and um I said I'm downstairs can. I come up at the hospital and you said. I'd rather you didn't just leave. whatever gifts you have and I was like. well that's weird I drove all the way. has anyone cut the umbilical card yet.

yeah I really thought I'd be a big part. of the you made it very clear I should. just get back in my car and leave but. and then I said what are your kids names. and you went Mikey and Charlie and I. thought it was going to be you know groy. and. strudy and strudy well what's wrong with. that uh first of all it sounds likey and. strudy sound I went through how about uh. that's what's wrong with it yeah give me. the names that they could have been like. Armen and rafy or Kev AR arock is tax.

name yeah yeah arock. Junior air air airpod airpod. HOV airpods Max car carvan carvan Beats. by Dre. yeah what do you guys think Vortex is. Vortex no. Borax no okay do you want to keep trying. I think we should yes you said it I. think you're trying to say you should. stop now but unfortunately you said do.

you think we should keep trying right. which makes me want to go Gro okay okay. but anyway no do you get some flak in. the Armenian Community for naming them. Mikey and Charlie they they go to an. Armenian school and a lot of the parents. name their kids Armenian names and then. I just see Charlie and Mikey and I'm. like we I think we let our people down a. little bit also you taught them that. song since they were very little we must. assimilate assimilate assimilate we must. assimilate.

that song it's a Mr Rogers sh our. immigrant pass we must assimilate assim. and I was like why are you teaching them. this oh my God our immigrant pass. that's the song you taught them and T. plays it on the guitar we must. assimilate assimilate assimilate we must. assimilate and shed our immigrant past. shed our immigrant pass shed our. immigrant pass still going as far as. anybody knows.

we're Little Dutch. boys I just think it was a weird song to. teach your children at such a young age. but they should assimilate right I don't. know it's good I think I always feel. badly for my mom because I think deep. down she really wanted us to be the kind. of kids that could go to a country club. and oh we just weren't we were Irish. Pirates and I used to just pretty much. tell her that like what are you talking.

about we're just Irish we're 100%. Irish see yeah we're bums but she was an. intellectual your dad is an intellectual. I know but it doesn't it's it was no and. then I know my I my parents are very. smart accomplished people and then they. had kids and we were like but it kind of. backfired on them because you very. intellectual but in a way that probably. infuriates yes I know.

it's like some kind of Cassandra curse. like be careful what you wish for yeah. yeah. well I I don't know something went. horribly wrong but um but I think I like. Mikey and Charlie and I do think they've. grown into those names they are Mikey. and Charlie that's who they are now do. they have Armenian middle names yeah. yeahor and tanel halfway thereor I love. that oneor yeah and what's the other one. tanel I mean it's tanel it's Daniel. Daniel yeah and what's Kor Gregory oh oh. you're right it is he goes both well why.

didn't you just name him Gregor Gregor. and Daniel because I needed some. Armenian in there you got an Armenian. last name also I named them after my. grandparents my oh you just forgot your. grandparents are named Charlie and Mikey. yeah no they're C andan they're my. grandfather Grandpa Mikey and grandma. Charlie oh I'll never forget the day in. 1907 when Mikey saw a beautiful Charlie. walking down the lane carrying that.

basket of dried apricots oh come on cre. cre my grandma went by Eddie that was. her name is that true what's her full. name Elanor but why Eddie I don't know. to be honest my grandmother who lived. with us for a while who I think was born. in 1890. so um and she really saw everything in a. lifetime but uh her we always knew her. as motty her nickname was motti and I. and we would say why is your name what.

why does everyone call you motti and it. was because there was a comic book a. comic. strip when she was about 8 years old of. about a mule named motti that would kick. and at the playground she once kicked. like some boys were bothering her and. she was kicking at them and they called. her motti and so a hundred years later. we're saying hey mty pass the salt. what's her real name I'm shocked you. guys weren't Country Club people yeah.

know you m mu damaged lineage what's her. real name yeah uh it was Ruth Ruth which. was my mom's name too I didn't know that. that's cool so oh so she that's your. mother's mother and they did like my. mother's mother female junor she was. named after uh she was named after this. kicking mule in a comic strip that was. popular in you know. 1900 or. 1898 and then it's stuck like one day on.

the playground yeah you're a real M that. one and then cut to you know. us uh 100 years later 100 years but. whatever 85 years later you called her. by her nickname though you didn't call. her grandma we called her motti okay and. my and we called our grandfather my. mother's father hoofer and because no. that's true because he as a young man he. was a policeman Wester Massachusetts who.

directed traffic but he knew like one. dance step and people were like yeah. you're a real Huer and that kicker over. there is a real mty and so we called him. hoofer and. motty and then the one day we go to. enlist at the country. club they're like well tell us a little. bit about yourself kid hey there are six. of you you seem to have been born 3. months. apart and your shirts are all torn tell. us about yourself well grandmother's. money after the kicking mule.

and our cop grandfather is called Huer. cuz he knew a dance step he used to kick. the wios with. it all right well there's this back door. here you can. use what should I tell my mother should. I tell her that we're in and we can come. here and eat peanut butter and jam. sandwiches no get the out of. here do you want to hear about my other. grandfather shitzy get out get.

out all. right and by the way God rest your. souls shitzy hey shitzy get over here. what are they call him shitzy hey took a. when World War I was declared he. his pants cuz he knew he had to. fight so we call him shitzy say hello to. jiz scheckman. shy what's your who did he marry he.

married a it oh it yeah she. was three in. 1850 she banged her Shin on a stool ah. it so ah it met. shitzy so about this country club. application where do I sign and where do. my 15 brothers and sisters sign who are. all born the same. day and where do we check inbred.

hey is that a golf course can we play. we've got hockey. sticks I can't. bre um quick apology to my family too. late throwing you the bus.