Conan’s Bris Bit | Conan O’Brien Needs a Fan

do you perform brisses or does that a. special that's a special skill right no. that's a special skill oh okay okay are. you asking for a reason yeah yeah. my favorite joke when I met at bris is. to say uh. it's to say man this calamari is good at. the dinner afterwards and then have. someone say there's no calamari and I go. oh. come on it's hilarious because it means. I accidentally ate the foreskin it's a.

hilarious joke boy this calamari's. killer there's no calamari. try it out sometime Rabbi it's really. funny I will go to a TGI Fridays and go. boy this foreskin's delicious. I accidentally ate calamari. you know this is the stupidest thing. ever no after my son my first son was.

born you know the custom in Judaism is. the foreskin has to be buried right you. can't dispose of it in any other way so. the the Moyle who did the brisk for my. son. gave it to me and I was like what am I. supposed to do with this I was a. rabbinical student living on the upper. west side and he said you have to bury. it but I lived in New York City yeah so. my friend and I went to Central Park and. we went behind home plate because huge. baseball fan and we buried it behind the. first field in Central Park.

and now there's a foreskin tree growing. right there. every October dropping foreskins. do you have a question for Conan yes do. you have a question for me Rabbi how can. I counsel you oh yes so let's just say. you are the senior Rabbi Conan and Sona. and Matt are the associate rabbis what. would a clergy team meeting look like.

well first of all I'd be there and I. think uh Rabbi Matt would be there as. well Sona would not be there because. she'd be running late and not caring oh. okay I think that you would be eating up. everyone's time by playing the guitar. for about an hour right but playing. holding up the meeting but playing songs. about Israel and uh playing songs about. Moses clergy like it does it doesn't it. doesn't cross anything off the agenda of.

the meeting I would sing the dreidel. song I'm sending my rabbinical resume. over to you David to see if I can get a. transfer of some kind oh no you can't oh. no. um I gotta work under this guy because. you're the guy that I bring with me to. the bris whose job is to say we don't we. didn't serve any calamari. because I need someone to say that from. my joke to work for like a hundredth. times it's the 100th time.

and I go but sometimes you don't do it. because you're so sick of it so I have a. little broomstick and I tap you with it. what if they are actually serving. calamari I know it's a drag that's a. problem then it's Matt's job to make. sure that they take the calamari out. okay and get rid of it his job is to get. there early and get rid of all the. calamari that they routinely serve at a. breast so is our meeting just discussing. how we're going to support your bids yes. yeah that would be yes here's what you. need to know David all of the meetings.

would be okay I've got this bit I want. to do and here's what here's what I need. I need you to ask me I need you to say. this Matt and then when Sona shows up I. need you to do this and yeah so it would. be a lot of that I'm gonna do our son's. brisk correct no. we've got other people for that. no one calls you anymore for anything. yeah you're the only Rabbi no one calls. for anything. your workload would double David because.

everybody from my yeah everybody who. worked at my temple would be like no no. no we're good Conan you'd be getting. twice as many calls lonely Rabbi at the. top of the hill that no one calls you. hear someone in your in your synagogues. having like marital trouble and you go. to them asking if you can help and. they're they're like no we're good yeah. we're good we're fine I heard you just. lost a parrot I'm fine it was good it. was good Conan O'Brien is Rabbi Without.

a Cause. that's me in a red jacket color flipped. up James Dean Style. no one comes to talk to me. you know David you don't seem nervous at. all anymore you got over that really. quickly when you realized you were. talking too it's just amazing how our. clergy meetings are so similar to what. we're just doing that's good that's good. yeah yeah really. no no well yeah homes and yo-yo comes up.

there's a lot of calamari jokes. sometimes I can be so naive.