Conan Remembers His Failed Remotes | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

hey there welcome to con O'Brien needs a. friend and uh I don't know why you. always laugh at the intro we always look. at each other we do Matt g g nice to. have you here and uh Sona you are I. guess a necessity. um what no come on I love you is it a. thank you I love you I love you too but. you know there's nicer things to say I'm. not sure there are okay um it's a. wonderful day out there it is I just uh. you know you guys are always telling me.

Oh don't think first about what to say. Conan just start talking and then I do. and you say I got nothing but the. weather is like lowest common. denominator but it's also fun when you. don't have anything because we get to. pounce on you okay that's good it's also. so against you're such a preparer you. like being prepared for things I do and. so this I think takes you outside your. comfort zone and I like that yeah me too. well I was walking down the street okay. this is boring.

it's nice I I enjoy this neighborhood a. lot I do a lot of young people and they. shout at me out their Windows which is. nice yeah um and it just kind of makes. me feel like hey I'm I'm I'm living in a. nice little world where people shout out. their windows at me it's usually um you. know drop dead or okay yeah do you walk. murderer I get murderer a lot do you. walk so people will recognize you I'm. wearing a shirt that says I am con. O'Brien and there's an arrow going up to. my head you have one of those like um.

Statue of Liberty Tax boards that you. just twirl around that says Conan on I'm. a sign flipper yeah I'm a sign flipper. spinner that's right uh did a remote a. science you know I'm have a lot of. remotes out there and over the years. people have said oh I really like the. remotes you do not all of them made it. oh yeah to public viewership oh this one. didn't yeah we did a sign spinning. remote see look we found something don't. over don't get excited uh I'm going to. call him out Matt O'Brien our one of our. writers I think was on this remote and.

he said oh this will be great we got. some sign spinners and he had us shoot. it in an empty back lot at Warner. Brothers and I immediately sense this is. a comedy vacuum nothing there's no one. to bounce off of here there's like a. sign spinning guy but he's just pretty. serious about it and he he occasionally. made puns about sign spinning and I. couldn't do it and the remote was going. nowhere and then I looked up and I saw. vultur circling oh no guys do it on the. there a kind of vulture that c when it.

knows a remote is going down and if. you're in my line of business it strikes. Terror in your heart exactly why weren't. we out in the world we were on the back. lot so I started just saying things into. the lens like cuz I sometimes I think. about the writers watching this later in. the edit room oh my so I say little. things like you did this to me I'll get. you I I'm talking into the future I know. this remote will not get. made I know know that this is all going.

down in flames so I just start saying. having a good time editing this isn't. going to make it I'm literally talking. to the writers two days from now who. were going to be looking at the footage. and so I remember that one there was. that one and then there was another. remote where one of the writers thought. it'd be really. funny if I hooked up with those people. that have those shows where they claim. they see the Paranormal and they took me. through an empty Studio again there's a. common denominator here no other people. uh open space or enclosed space with.

nothing in it and then the person kept. saying I think I maybe see a ghost but. I'm not sure and me going like trying to. make something happen saying oh not sure. huh well uh echo echo echo echo um it. just didn't go anywhere those are two I. wake up at night sometimes thinking. about sign spinning remote oh my God and. ghost hunting remote covered in sweat. that got away those are the ones no. those are the ones that never were there. I see there was nothing they didn't get. away there was nothing to catch in the.

first place Sid spinning sound seems fun. now you're implying I failed I don't. know I feel like it sounds to me like it. was all there no and just you know you. probably just didn't pull your weight. um there's puns there's signs like was. he dressed like just a normal guy I. think he was just there's a he was he. was just doing this is your third Uncle. Sam you got to dress like Uncle Sam no I. didn't say Uncle Sam you said Uncle Sam.

and then you said this is your third. Uncle Sam so that's a totally that's so. shitty that is such a. shitty hey you keep mentioning you keep. mentioning scuba diving no and then I'm. like let me explain hold on what yeah. yeah scuba diving scuba diving what what. did you say repeat after me scuba diving. okay scuba diving H you said scuba. diving again what is it with you in. scuba diving listen Matt you're terrible. you're the worst therapist ever.

worst therapist ever you sit there with. the patient and you keep saying things. you keep saying things also the thing is. this is this is M about hasn't even come. out yet I know oh no no there's nine. reasons why what you just did is a. show but I'm just picturing you as a. therapist but this Easter egg is going. to pay off for people when they listen. to Summer s'mores and then I will be. Vindicated and writing you're a podcast. expert I think of those things what. order is it what's been said I'm going. to to this episode you're just always.

shooting off your mouth left and. right that's because I know the. listeners with us and I know they can do. a momento like time jump back and forth. this is just a prequel okay this is my. impression Matt gorley therapist so uh. Conan I'd like to talk to you uh bowl of. corn bowl of corn bowl of corn excuse me. Dr gorle what are you saying bowl of. corn bowl of corn do why am I a. therapist Dr gorley why you keep saying.

uh bowl of corn Conan you seem obsessed. with bowl of. corn did your father molest you with a. bowl of corn as a child no you said it. nine. times well that's it for my impression. of Matt gley this is Conan therapist. therapist therapist Matt why do you keep. mentioning therapist ah old Switcheroo. oh you know that lingo in comedy good. for you God he's on you incredible what. happened go back to him go on her she.

really took you down you got to get her. I am the T-Rex in uh Jurassic Park yes. if I see slight movement I go to it and. you just stepped out of an ous yeah I. know and you know what when the glass. starts to. wiggle it doesn't wiggle it makes little. concentric circles don't say concentric. we get it you know words but it does a. thing it ripples it ripples yeah. concentric is that a word yeah my. actually my formal name is concentric.

O'Brien we just shortened it to. Conan I was named my my father's a. geometry fan I was trying to say when. you come to the studio the glasses. that's true oh that's right you just see. it Ripple and then you two jump in the. back of a an open Jeep and try to escape. you remember when Jeff Goblin was on the. podcast and he left holding a big flare. just to get you out of the building you. guys don't really know your Jurassic. Park boy boy you went a while took me a. minute can I just say also you bailed on. that as you said it which is always my.

favorite thing and remember when Jeff. Goldblum left with a big flare you guys. don't know the reference wait I know the. reference I saw the look in your eyes I. wasn't laughing but I know the reference. I saw you smelling blood and I just. wanted out I just here's a new one they. were so scared of you Matt gley standup. comic hey everybody welcome to the show. uh yeah the other day uh hobo asked me. for a bite to eat so I bit him you guys. don't get it you don't like. it why the chicken cross the road to get. the other side why do people hate me I.

don't know why they don't like it it's. cuz he actually crossed the road that's. not the reason why oh um well I've. demolished you both.