Conan Picks His Cowboy Nickname | Conan O'Brien Needs A Fan

hey I have a question for you do you. think I'd be any good uh as a you know. Rider of horses as a cowboy do you think. I'd do you think i' and be honest Bryce. we know each other well enough uh how do. you think I'd do out on the trail um I. think if somebody invited you to go. rioting you would show up dressed as. howdy Duty yeah and you would. correct i' have a bandana and really. starched like my jeans would have a. crease my would be real starched uh and.

I'd have a hat that had never like had. no dust on it like a and it was way too. big for my. head yeah and then you would complain. about chaing because everything's so. starched and yeah you'd be you'd be. riding a horse like Robert dowy Jr in uh. oh goodness what's that movie Bad horse. rider Sherlock Sherlock Holmes oh does. he sitting there just oh yes he that's. right he's not a good yes in one of the. Sherlock Holmes movies he's on a horse. and he's not good at it.

um interesting uh I I have a problem and. Sona has worked for me for a long time. and she can attest to this I have no. flesh at all on my bottom there's just. nothing there I'm just a pelvis like a. lab skeleton pelvis so if I was riding a. horse I think I'd be in a lot of pain. unless can you put a cushion down what. can you put on the saddle and and not be. made fun. of uh nothing um if you put something on.

there you will get made fun. of men and women everyone what if no one. could see it what if I just coated it. with a thick gel a clear gel that was. cushiony and uh and also had certain. medicinal properties maybe numbing the. nerves of the ass so that I didn't pad. inside your pants so you have like a big. old booty but it's real soft yes stuff. stuff your pants well I do that but you. mean in the. back okay so.

so Bryce just move it to the back yeah. fine yeah yeah just take what's in the. front and put it in the back yeah okay. and then there's just a huge concave. space in the front oh that's real funny. that's real. funny just move the old zucchini to the. back so. Bryce um I think I do okay I'm I'm I'm. pretty adaptable and I think I'd be a. good cowboy I know that i' yes would my. ass get sore it would but I'm a lot of. fun out on the trail I think I'd have.

good stories around the campfire at. night is there a campfire at night. absolutely there's campfire and coffee. regardless if you stop at midnight. you're you're making a pot of coffee. well I can't do that I'll be up all. night so um can do you guys ever make. decaf Cowboys. don't yeah no that's that's we literally. pour grounds into a pot of boiling water. and then drink it okay I have a I'm. going to bring with me a machine that's. rather large my God that decaffeinate.

the coffee it's an $88,000 Swiss machine. um and that's going to have to be pulled. by six horses I hope that's okay fast if. you were a cowboy no I mean probably I. think you'd be left behind left. behind yes hey but what if the other. Cowboys start to go you know I like this. decaf coffee let's keep this Conan guy. and his Swiss machine around just put a. cowboy hat on the coffee maker like it's. like a robot cck Cowboy that came along. for the ride every Christmas season it's.

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have a lot of admiration for Cowboys and. well cow folk in general you know I I do. it's part of the Great American Dream. nothing looks cooler than being on a. horse I think and uh and no and pulling. up somewhere you know clapping up and. then just jumping off the horse and. tying it up to a post and going inside. and having a shot of whiskey that's. something I grew up watching all the. time on television and it never happened. well Bryce actually has a really good. question for you regarding this so Bryce.

do you want to ask your question yeah. ask my question. Bryce yeah what uh what what would your. nickname be what what would your cowboy. nickname be on the. trail Wow Let's see Sharp. ass old sharp ass he's got an ass like a. meat cleaver just bone you know just. bone you could you can slice slice ham. on that guy's ass you know you don't you. wouldn't want to but you could yeah old. sharp ass that call me here comes sharp.

ass hey sharp ass what's up oh not much. I was just here with my $88,000 machine. decaffeinating these. beans what's up with you. guys what do you think pretty sure they. come decaffinated. yeah okay yeah what you the machine. decaffeinate the beans yeah it's very. expensive machine and then you just have. a pile of beans you could just bring. decaf beans. oh I already bought this machine oh man. you got.

it no I can't cuz I had the wheels that. were on it taken off and ones that were. appropriate for the trail put on cuz I. was anticipating this conversation this. is such a bad idea yeah it's got shock. absorbers uh it's got a little cow. catcher oh you spruced it up too Bru it. up it's got an incredible. suspension I've put over $35,000 into. this $8,000 machine oh my God Conan. that's so unnecessary jeez well sharp. ass to. you okay uh Bryce I think that uh I'd be.

a pretty good cowboy and i' and um I'd. like it I would really like it I would I. would love to go out on a ride I really. would what's the longest ride you guys. go out. for uh The Longest Ride I've been on was. 11 days and over you know probably. around like 120 to 150 miles wow that is. so cool do you think we could arrange it. so we're sort of near a Four Seasons. Hotel oh man no but you know what I mean.

that's kind of what we're trying to. avoid but um we could. probably circles around the block yeah. what I'm saying is we ride but then I. disappear for I don't know 15 18 hours. at a time and I come back and you smell. massage oil and I've had an incredible. cob salad just. incredible uh yeah I guess I guess we. could uh figure that out or you could. just have the four seasons of being. outside and deal with.

yeah sharp okay I don't know I don't. know Bryce there a certain way I like. things you know I like to be able to. just pick up the phone and order the. food and it comes so I guess that's part. of I mean you could bring Sona and Matt. with you and then they could just take. care of you hold on there Bryce look I. was interested in you said that sounded. fun but uh I don't cater to Old sharpz. here yeah we'll be with you guys and. then when he leaves we give every. everyone the signal and we just keep.

going and that way he'll never find just. so you know Sona was my assistant for. like 15 years and didn't take care of me. then yeah so why would she on on the. trail you know that's not going to. happen that's true an assistant so then. that assistant would do things yeah well. his name is David hopping and he does do. things yeah incredible sorry taught him. everything he knows I don't think so. anyway AR what kind of horse would you. put Conan on like a Spirited One a tame. one a. oh it would absolutely have to be you.

know a a 4AGE horse like a little kid's. horse it just it it' have to be. something that wouldn't blow up or. anything shortz and Egger's little. miniature pony Chelly Chelly I want one. more your knees are like all the way up. to your face I want one where you you. have to put quarters in and it gently. rocks. me.