Conan Needs A Third Assistant | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

um so far I think Sona is doing the best. she can right uh with the voice issue. yeah and when I say doing the best you. can I'm not saying it's good oh because. it's uh it's really it's gone I don't. know what what do you do how do you do. the best you can without a voice I don't. know I'm like an old Trooper like you. know many times I've had to do shows in. front of thousands of adoring fans. paying huge ticket prices and uh huge at. all a list but anyway empty seats.

yeah there's something even more. powerful about this like cutting him. down they were empty seats never I know. who the voice is now from Godfather it's. um pentangeli yes Frank Frank Frank. pentangeli Frankie five Angels yeah yeah. yeah okay you know the Roman Empire. Michael Michael yeah he cuts his wrist. in a bathtub okay spoiler alert jez yes. but anyway that's nice of uh well it's. Godfather Part Two okay um what were you.

going to say sorry what you going to say. sorry I was going to say that many times. is it not true you saw me having vocal. problems and I had to do a Big Show and. you know what I did them I love and you. know what I did I knocked them flat can. I went out there I gargled with my honey. I went out there and I gave him the best. show they ever saw first of all you had. me I made your throw coat every single. day you did second every time you spoke. I was like Conan you have to stop. talking cuz of your voice that but would.

I would I stop talking no but I it was a. nice way to get you to stop talking and. then another time you went and actually. saw some doctors who looked to made sure. that you didn't have any permanent. damage I haven't done that yeah where's. my Sona oh I see who's looking after you. who's looking after me well you have to. understand uh there's a certain. hierarchy here and I need to be. protected at all costs okay and I do. care about you but um you know something. happens it happens we get someone else. so uh no David hopping is is is the one.

that should be looking after you where's. David why doesn't he look after me well. this is hilarious David hopping doesn't. show up at work yesterday he's the one. that's filling in for Sona right taking. over sona's responsibilities yeah and. listen okay he he he tells me that he. can't come in CU he's at the hospital. I'm what H you know what's going on he's. like my my foot I can't put any weight. on it they're wrapping it right now and. I said what did you do meaning you know. do you fell and he says like I don't. know I woke up and got out of bed and my.

foot couldn't take any weight he doesn't. even know so one assistant no voice. who's a big part of a podcast know and. then I needed him to do a bunch of stuff. and he doesn't even know what happened. what is wrong with that generation I. don't know but you guys should combine. to be one body that works and one voice. that works I'll be his feet he'll be my. voice yes you carry him he'll be the. voice got to carry like is David here a. back get David in here David okay now.

here have a seat right here now we're. talking about the fact that I have two. assistance some of you listening may. think that's excessive but please when. you get to the top of the world's. highest pyramid in entertainment that's. what happens yeah uh we get these two. assistance so sona's Voice doesn't work. gimpy and squeaky yeah we got gimps and. squeaks hey it's a new radio it's a new. podcast gimps and squeak it's gimps and. squeaks you guys should have a drive. time morning show my foot.

hurts whole thing his foot hurts you. hear it but listen uh no he just keeps. yelling my foot hurts David you're a. young man you're supposed to be you're a. healthy guy and then you took to. yesterday off to go to the hospital and. get your because you couldn't put any. weight on your foot and you have no idea. what happened no so nothing so you got. out of bed and you tried to stand up and. what happened well I got out of bed fine. I like spent most of the day fine and.

then I got off the couch later that. night and that was. it that was it I was dead not how the. story should go like you got bit by a. black widow or something no it's just my. my ankle just gave out I had gone out. the night before okay this is where it. gets interesting and what were you doing. the night before when I went to a. friend's birthday party there was a DJ. there so I did dance for probably 4. hours for God's sake David you might as. well have said like I went to a misery.

reenactment beating you no that's what. you do yeah I went to the I well the. night before I went to the old Boulder. toss what do you mean you you never told. me that you went dancing because like. then the next day it was fine until the. night so like I feel like if I had done. something dancing would I have noticed. like right away no because there's. there's the high that you get when. you're at a rave and you're dancing and. you're having a lot of fun and then uh. it talk about. about one Rave you've.

oh please I went to one in 74 it was. fantastic blew the roof off that place. we all ate a lot of high carb foods who. was the D spun around what's that you. spun around DJ Jackie Jones he was. fantastic Wolf Man Jack yeah it was. great hey you know I'm loathed to be on. your side I know you are this is not. something I'm comfortable with you're. not comfortable with it I think you need. new assistance I do no because listen. this guy's bones are made of marzipan. and then you know squeaky fro over here. in the corner.

uh you know you're just it's it's these. are my these are my people you represent. me in the world and uh you're both. busted you're broken no I think this is. pretty appropriate that you these are. your two reps right here that's true Oh. you mean reflecting a damaged career a. broken man we didn't say that well. please read the trades what I'm. saying it's the cover of variety this. morning um listen I uh I I just don't.

know I worry about you David because you. are way too young to have your bones. just snapping you know it's okay. everything's fine you're like uh that's. it's ridiculous everything's fine and. then me and well then you I don't know. what's going to happen with you if you. if your voice doesn't get better very. soon you're fired um I think I'm right. I'm allowed to say that this is your. your lifeblood now this is your whole. vocation no no no uh Tac has karate to. fall back on what if I he can chop wood. with his hand. this chopped wood is fantastic a karate.

chop thank you. T you my wife wouldn't let me go have. karate lessons twice a week ever K. hosting a show yeah hosting a show. because America demanded it America. insisted upon it they needed their fix. of sweet. cone oh God 28 years of The Cone Zone. that sweet orange goo God anyway uh I. hope I do hope um well I don't mean it.

oh I'm GNA say it anyway because it's. something I've seen caring people say. stuff like this and I'm going to mimic. it I hope that you both feel better. soono thanks Forest I worry about you. both and I wish the best for you I think. our bodies are just giving out like. naturally from this job what if you both. go to what if you both go to doctors. independently and they run tests on your. immune systems and they say do you work. with Conan O'Brien it's an epidemic and. then they look at the microscope and.

there's little Conan heads that are. eating your white blood cells gobbling. them and. going G's next no gor's immune oh no him. him no I have little Gores in my. body little gor little gor running. around you work with a Matt Gorly he's. destroying your white blood cell. count uh I do hope you both feel better. honestly seriously no I don't you like I. tried it one last time and it didn't. work I said to him know and I was like. my voice is gone I don't know if I.

should come to work and you were like oh. nice come hold on a second I love it. when we. see the voice note disappears if you. don't if you don't keep it and neither. one of you probably kept it I think it's. okay nothing go back to that here I got. it no hold on hold on gor uh this is. what I sound like today I hope that's. okay uh my voice was completely gone. yesterday and this is what it is now I. still planning to come to to.

work I'm ready to. work passive aggressive I just sound. real. stupid here we go when I read you the. chain here's the here's the chain I. think the funniest part of that was me. going I'm ready to. work oh yeah you you texted strong work. ethic I mean that your voice you were. losing your voice you're worried about. it and I wrote back we can make this. work for us exclamation point that's the.

first thing you said that's the first. thing I said then um uh Matt of course. texts that he's concerned about your. health a um and then I wrote a joke I. thought you lost your voice speaking at. your normal level I'm still not being. nice and then um and then you say I'm. not sick I was congested Friday and then. I write got it I have advanced syis but. I'm told that's common you write back we. all knew that you have a siffless Vibe.

and I say this is all this morning it's. called the Cs it's like the Riz only you. go insane and die in a 19th century. sanitarium to which I got a haha I think. from Matt gorley oh God uh anyway that. those are our normal text that we don't. think anyone's ever going to see does it. upset you when people put haha instead. of typing haha I'll take. whatever I don't care if my obituary. comes out and it's online and someone. puts haha on top. I count that as a.

laugh all right well feel better you. guys and I mean that the way someone. would who cares.