Conan Meets The Creative Director Of Highlights Magazine | Conan O'Brien Needs A Fan

Patrick. Um, yes. You work for. Highlights magazine. We have two people. here who are extremely excited about. this. You have to understand, I'm an. older gentleman. Highlights is a very. dim memory from my past, okay? >> Mhm. >> Uh, it's sort of like my first and. second marriage, but [laughter]. tell us. Highlights, you have Highlights at your. home, you subscribe to it. >> I mean, I was a reader as a kid as well, but yeah, my daughter, Glenn and I, we. have a subscription and the minute that. thing hits our mailbox, it's appointment.

reading and we sit down and we do the. searches, we do the sillies, we do all. of it. >> That makes my heart happy. >> Well, you make my heart happy. >> Aw. >> My god. >> Will you marry me? >> Yes. >> [laughter]. >> You've caused an arrhythmia in my heart, Patrick. Uh, third and fourth ventricle out of. sync. Um, [clears throat]. okay, so remind me because I I vaguely. remember some things about Highlights, uh, mostly from when I would see a. pediatrician, um, for my mental health. >> [laughter]. >> Well, into my 40s, by the way.

>> How did that go? >> Uh, he was disbarred. Let's just put it that. way. >> So, you went to a lawyer for mental. health. >> [laughter]. >> It was part of my problem. That's when. they knew I was really had an issue. Um, okay, uh, I think it's a good time to. talk about what we like and maybe what. could be improved about Highlights. magazine and Sona and Gorley, I'm really. turn the the uh, the mics over to you. guys. >> I mean, I always liked Goofus and. Gallant. >> Oh, I love Goofus and Gallant. >> Yeah, and I it took me a long time to. realize Goofus was the silly one.

>> [laughter]. >> It wasn't there in the name? You know what's funny? I just have to. mention this, Patrick, a comedy writer. friend of mine, uh, who has since. passed, who was, uh, who was, uh, genius. named Dan McGrath, um, and he later wrote on The Simpsons, but Dan McGrath, when I was in college, uh, he wrote for the comedy magazine and. he wrote a panel, a series of panels and. it was called it was a parody of Goofus. and Gallant, it was called Goofus and. Galley Slave. And it was like Goofus,

whatever, forgets to make his bed um and. just rushes off to school. uh and leaves it messy. Galley Slave. pines for the day he might have a bed. >> [laughter]. >> Instead, he suffers the cruel. taskmaster's lash as he pulls on the on. the oar. And it was [laughter] They were. illustrated and it was really, really. funny. So, shout out to Dan McGrath. Um. that was it. Go back, Matt. >> Well, I just feel like we should talk to. Patrick here. He We've got the man. himself. What you don't need to hear. from me. Tell us about How does it.

happen? >> the pressure on you when you're. approaching deadline and maybe you don't. have a good Goofus and Gallant or there. isn't a good spot the onion in this. picture. What do you do? >> [snorts]. >> Uh we have a lot of brainstorming. We. have a lot of absurd conversations. I think what's great about our world, it's like kids don't understand the laws. of physics and reality's different for. them. So, we operate in the absurd. absurdity of life, right? So, we get to.

have the craziest conversations, the. most bizarre brainstorming, and just get. to go wild be and tap into our inner. 10-year-old selves, which is awesome. >> Yeah. >> And you know what? Uh this happens in comedy writing where. we. you know, we're doing something for a. broadcast, maybe it's going to be the. Oscars or something like that. And what. happens is in the pitching sessions, you. get way out into the woods and you're. talking about ideas that could never be. on the show or maybe they're way too.

dirty or insane. You must do that in the. Highlights writers' room. Think of. things where you're laughing really. hard, your eyes are watering, and then. you're like, "Guys, guys, guys, this can. never go in Highlights.". >> Oh, yeah. You have to go dark. The dark. humor, you have to go absurd. You have. to go a little bit crazy and go, "Okay, that was fun." You have to get That's. like a great mental exercise, and then. you bring it back in and go, "Okay, now. we have to think about a 9-year-old, you. know, what's going to work for a. 9-year-old." And it's not going to be. Goofus and Galley Slave. >> Yeah.

>> [laughter]. >> Although the Brothers Grimm proved it. can be really dark. You know, a lot of. early children's stories are very, very. dark. Kids are getting tossed into ovens. and all kinds of crazy things. >> get Disneyfied and then they're not that. scary anymore. >> they originally used to scare kids into. behaving, not as a source of like. comfort or enjoyment? >> Well, also, I should point out that what was really. scary for kids back then was that they. wouldn't make it past nine. >> [laughter]. >> Did you guys brainstorm that little. story?

>> If you. >> No, but I mean. >> If this was 1840, you'd never live to. see your 10th birthday. You'd be shot. out of a cannon or die of tuberculosis. Sorry, Patrick, I'm not helping. Um. >> Yeah, back in the early days, I mean, Goofus and Gallant Gallant was. really bad in the early days, in the. '60s. I mean, you you'd have Gallant. looking at a rabbit eating and it was. like, "Oh, how you know, how precious. Look at the rabbit eating." And then. you'd have Goofus go, "I think I can hit. him with a rock." So, it I mean. >> Oh my god.

>> Is this why they're not in the magazine. anymore? >> No, well, they are, but I mean, this was. the '60s. It was. >> they are, but they've just they've just. diluted it, right? They've just changed. it. >> Yeah, we've. >> He's not a social butterfly. >> it to be a little bit. >> I remember seeing a Goofus and Gallant. where it's like Gallant's being good and. Goofus says, "Let's go throw rocks at. those Italians.". >> [laughter]. >> You know what I mean? And it's like, "Hey, you can't get away with that. anymore. We have to love everybody.". >> Are they in every issue? Cuz I don't. feel like I've seen them. >> You're probably get We have uh. Highlights and then we have one called.

High Five, which is for preschoolers. That's the probably the magazine that. >> You're getting the sort of dumbed down. That's my reading level. >> Highlights light. >> You should You should start subscribing. also to Highlights. >> I should. >> Yeah, it's just an extra money, but you. do pretty good, I think. >> [laughter]. >> Well, I wanted to talk to you about. that. >> We can do it later. Okay, it's not a. good time. I'm a hologram. I'm not here. >> I think you would be a really good. Highlights writer cuz you you think like. a nine-year-old often. >> Yeah. >> I will say that whenever I'm in a.

restaurant or any situation where. there's like a little kid, I mean like a. toddler, I go to town and work hard on. making that kid laugh. >> Yeah. >> I'm very proud of the fact that kids who. don't know who I am, they have they just. see me as this tall, strange-looking. woman. I go I really work hard on making. them giggle and try to break through. I. think that's the true test. >> Yeah. Yeah. I think you would be a good. writer. >> You know who isn't good at that? Bill. Maher. >> [laughter]. >> That's. >> Hey kid. Hey kid.

>> [laughter]. >> What are you What are you doing over. there, kid? >> I mean, frankly, I think that applies to. all age ranges. >> I know, you went too far. You went too. far. You went too far. That's not cool. He's a very good satirist. Okay, so let's move on. Yes. No, no, I. hired Bill Maher to to entertain at a. toddler's party once and it didn't go. well. He sat in a chair and he made them. all feel like. >> [laughter]. >> Um. and then we had to pay him $17,000. Okay, uh it's just all good time. All. comedians love each other. That's not. the point. The point is it's Highlights.

Magazine and this is a big deal. Do you. ever look through the magazine and. think, "Ah, we Yeah, this was a mistake. We This one doesn't work or this We. tried to hide something in this picture. and it didn't really work.". >> Um. >> We always look back. You're always. self-critical of what you do and go, "Ah, I could have done that better." Um. what we don't want to do is is have. something slip through. I mean, we we we. analyze everything um to the nth degree. We're We're like in the hidden pictures,

we call it the penis police. We're. always looking for phallic [laughter]. objects. You know, cuz those things. inadvertently go through. >> But what do you mean are they. inadvertent? >> I found a couple. >> Wait a minute. I know a penis picture. doesn't inadvertently go through, does. it? >> No, but they're drawings. >> I think he's saying they could look like. that. >> Oh, I'm saying if someone was drawing It. could be like when you're looking at. clouds. I mean, you often you're just. looking up at clouds and you're like, "Cock, cock.". >> [laughter]. >> Um that's me all the time. That's me. >> Yeah. >> I've only ever seen. >> [laughter]. >> What do you see when you see.

>> I see more. >> [laughter]. >> Uh anyway, >> Highlights. >> Um are you going to play this in. interview? Are you going to [laughter]. give a put a transcript and highlights? It should be Can you find the transcript. of this [laughter] interview with. Patrick? Oh, it's there. It's in the uh, it's in. the tomato patch. Um, Uh, this is fascinating. So, tell me how. does it in the hidden picture thing. there are drawings and they tell you to. find certain things? >> there's a drawing and then below is a is. a row of things like a ruler, an.

envelope, and things like that, a. magnet. And you have to find them hidden. in the larger drawing. And. >> No, I remember when I was a kid that was. but it was always Eisenhower. It was. like [laughter]. every single time. It was a different. time back then. >> Oh, that's nice. >> Yeah. An innocent time. >> Well, I have a question about the silly. ones. >> Yeah. I I get that they're they're. >> Can you describe what they are? What are. they? >> a big panoramic picture and you have to. find what's silly in the picture. But I think I'm approaching this from. too much of a like a logical adult's.

mind because there are, you know, like. they'll be a fish bowl on a roller. coaster or something like that. A. goldfish in a fish bowl. That's. obviously silly. But also these are all. animals just living in this human world. Is that itself silly? I don't know how. deep we're supposed to go. silliness-wise. I've been trying to. explain this to my daughter. >> And also, not to get too like Escher. hand drawing a hand, but you reading. this magazine at your age is silly. >> [laughter]. >> My daughter wasn't even there. Yeah. I. don't even have a daughter. >> Um, we know. >> They took her. >> Yeah. No, you brought her in once and it.

was It was two balloons under a blanket. It was really sad.