Conan Meets A Professional Safari Guide | Conan O’Brien Needs a Fan

hello alex how are you i'm good conan. this is awesome hey sona hi okay i'm. i i just have to comment on this uh. uh because i'm looking at alex you're of. course all listening but uh alex is uh. oh so i think it's fair to say this is a. very handsome man yeah yeah yeah this is. you were taken aback by it i kind of. noticed that you saw him and you were. like oh it's not it's not my fault. we're on uh we're on we're on zoom and i. i just. i got rattled for a second and just. instinctively tried to kiss him uh and.

then realized what's a zoom i you know. and a little hard yeah with the computer. screen and the internet and the cables. and stuff yeah and then there's the. whole wife and she's like well what's. that all about that would be well come. on you always you always you always. suspected you know and then it's also. just very inappropriate to just meet. someone right away and then just try to. kill you you hear that kind of weird i. consider it brave. it's popular in europe okay let's let's. uh let's get to the the crux of the. matter alex you're a fine looking fellow. and uh you look like you're wearing like.

safari gear i constantly i looked at the. available wardrobe options and wife and. said full steve irwin let's go. so that's cool yeah thank you steve. irwin you have a steve irwin vibe and. also i'm looking at your. room behind you. and is that. i mean it looks like you've got really. cool stuff it looks like you're living. in a very cool space this is our house. uh it's built in 1918 so zero insulation. but we filled it with this weird my wife. is a very patient woman i've just filled. it with my brain everywhere so.

she puts up with a lot got it. very nice now tell us what you do first. of all what part of the world are you in. what do you do tell us about yourself. i'm in sonoma california and i'm a okay. anthropologist and professional safari. guide oh you are a safari guy. hence this oh so the safari gear is. yeah you've earned it it's not an. affectation you are a you're a safari. guide so that you should be having and. owning clothes like that um where do you. lead safaris mostly south africa oh have. you been i've never i've never been on a.

uh to south africa i've never been on a. safari. um i've never seen any uh you know. african animals. i'm intrigued by the whole thing tell us. what that's like so how long have you. been doing this for so i i kind of back. pedal i guess i i've been doing this for. about five years but i've been i've been. working in the public speaking arena as. a park ranger for about. uh 10 years off and on i started with. the california state parks eventually. just decided because it's been like a. lifelong obsession africa is where i.

want to go you know as a kid it was. always. african stories african movies african. adventure tales that kind of stuff also. i mean they just win in every animal. category so you can't you know look. yeah like what are you gonna oh look. there's another brown bear. you know there's uh if we oh look. there's the same kind of snake we saw. two days ago and the day before that you. know it gets old but in africa you've. hit the jackpot right well it's i think.

it's perspective because if people from. there came here they'd be like oh my god. a bear but no they wouldn't no they. wouldn't sure no they wouldn't yeah no. they wouldn't that's fair i know they. wouldn't anyone here. yeah anyone who grew up seeing elephants. bears rhinos. giraffes i'm sorry you say it's. perspective but it's not they would come. here and go oh look a squirrel. how terrifying and then they would laugh. at our faces they have squirrels in. africa yeah yeah but they're i think. they're 60 feet tall they are they're. actually known for that and big sharp.

teeth yes uh they're. more of a velociraptor than a squirrel. there um but anyway so okay. so you lead these tours. and. you are. what's that like i mean you're taking. people i've never been on one i've. always wanted to go. but are you the guy that's driving the. land rover with no. you know hood on it i mean no ceiling on. it uh roof are you the one that's. driving the land rover right up to the.

rhino yeah by getting a little too close. totally i i started doing that and then. have now evolved to very smartly in. march of 2020 started my own safari. company. great time to start a travel company um. so i kind of shifted roles from being. primarily the guy driving the truck to. now it's more of a hosting role my job. is to entertain the guests make them. feel comfortable happy you know just. bring them through their whole. experience but ultimately yeah the guy. physically driving the car and showing. people wildlife and i have to say i've.

learned so much about doing my job from. listening to you guys on this podcast. because when you guys start talking. about. comedy and stand-up i'm like all of that. is exactly what i'm doing because it's. all. based in live performance you're in. front of people and it's making people. happy it's making people engaged and you. know try to laugh at something or feel. like they're being entertained so i've. learned a hell of a lot about my job. from you guys. okay i have to say alex no one has ever. said that they've learned anything from. this podcast. i'm the first and.

i think this is a this is a real. mark of your low character it is how am. i going to oh. oh. no i'm sorry i i just so i mean do you. get scared when you're driving up to. these incredibly unpredictable. animals that can kill you in half a. second do you have fear or no. no i'm gonna go with the macho answer no. i have no fear um sure i mean. it's it's once you get comfortable. around big animals that you start to. realize. you can read patterns you can read their.

behaviors you know they're just like us. so it's it's more about personal space. at that point like you don't want to get. right up next to something if you don't. have to you got to read what it's doing. um. it's hard to translate to people that. have maybe never seen it because. you know you're talking about a ten. thousand pound elephant and people. automatically are like oh my god that's. the scariest thing i've ever seen in my. life but it's also the most majestic. thing you've ever seen and now i'm going. to take you in a car and get as. physically as close to it as i possibly. can just to freak you out because if. i've got my a-game on i'm reading the.

animal i'm understanding what's. happening while still giving it enough. space to feel comfortable have you ever. completely misread an animal not yet. okay all right like you're like trust me. i'm ch this this water buffalo is not. vibing me at all he seems really whoa. i'm sorry. you're dead i've had weird encounters. like when i was at guiding academy so. that was two months of living in the. bush in a small pup tent uh and total. immersive experience they want you. exposed every single day to just. anything that could go wrong so snake in.

the tent been there done that no water. in camp been there done that i got up. one night to go to the bathroom which we. had like latrines built outside. and it was one of those moonlit nights. you're under that just epic african. starry sky. and you know spider senses tingle and. you're like. what what is that shadow and i look and. there's just a lion standing there about. eight feet away from me and we're both. equally freaked out by each other so. it's this weird moment of like i'm gonna. go my way if you go your way and i just. zip the tent up and. peed my pants oh my god mission.

accomplished then yeah headed out the. other way to urinate um yeah oh i'm. sorry. my main question was going to be did you. eventually get to empty the urine and he. answered my question. so empty the year what other i mean um. so you've not been attacked you've not. been charged you've pretty much uh uh. had a a charmed life as a safari guy. well no that's not to say that there's. there's been situations that could get. ugly fast and everybody says animal you. know animals oh that's a dangerous.

animal and i'm like. is it though i mean any person could be. dangerous i i instead i'd rather call. animals hazardous and again it's about. reading them so i've been in situations. where. we haven't and i wasn't the one driving. but we haven't correctly read what was. happening and been charged by things and. usually that's kind of a hey you're up. in my business moment that kind of thing. um i've been stalked by leopards on foot. i've had crazy situations with rhinos. and it's more of like a. i don't know it's like a gamble like you. chose to be in that environment so.

i love how you're being kind of vague. you said crazy situations with rhinos. and. you're not specific so to me that means. maybe you. uh got in on a timeshare with a rhino. and and it didn't financially turned out. to be like a bad move and the rhino's. like no i'm using it memorial day week. and you're like no we talked about this. you used it no this is completely you. can't have memorial day and labor day. and then i was like hey what the. you know you didn't say anything so.

i'm assuming it wasn't a time share. problem with the rhino that's usually. the way it goes down no um my favorite. and i don't know favorites a weird term. there was in guiding academy of all. things we were out learning about. guiding people on foot which is a whole. other experience because. you're vulnerable you're you know. totally exposed and our instructor. stopped to look at a tree and he's going. on and on it's an ancient redwood tree. leadwoods live for hundreds and hundreds. of years so he's talking about it and. we're all fascinated and then wasps. started coming out of it and.

stung my leg which felt kind of like. having a cigarette lighter just shoved. into your skin right right. so my legs start swelling i can't walk. and. there's a saying in south africa which. is tia this is africa just go with it so. our instructor our instructor looked at. my leg and went tia we're gonna go find. a black rhino so i'm hobbling on the. trail to find this black rhino which we. did find. and i would i would have to say that's. probably been the most frightening. experience in my life because black. rhino so you got.

okay so uh oh i'm sorry keep going keep. going i didn't mean to interrupt you all. right well black rhinos are known for. being a little bit more. territorial whereas a white rhino is. going to be. kind of chill most of the time the the. joke is the chubby unicorn um so to find. a black light on foot totally exposed. with a swollen leg with a wasp sting in. it i was like if this dude freaks out. i'm not gonna make it back to camp oh my. god you are so cool well now listen. that is so don't you want to you conan. do you want to kind of want to be alex.

i was going a different way sona i mean. i think. alex is cool but i think i and i. encounter dangers like that all the time. in my life i no no alex nothing like on. my show over the years uh oh my god no a. celebrity comes out i don't i have to. read that celebrity i have to figure out. you know uh you know is well. will ferrell is carmen elektra you know. are these people uh in the right mood uh. and they attack occasionally um.

you and i have both dealt with the exact. same level of danger.