Conan Learns About "FUPA" – "Conan O'Brien Needs A Fan"

What's your life like? Tell me about your life a little bit. I have two daughters. I have a three-year-old and a six-year-old. Oh my God that's fantastic. Boy, girl? Yeah, two girls. Two girls. Okay, got it. Yeah. Uh married. Okay. You sort of shrugged when you said married. You know, tell us about the husband. Oh oh We like this guy, clearly. (laughs). I do. I love him. [Conan] Good. Because he's my best friend. (laughs). Well, which is it? Do you love him or is he your best friend? You've got to choose one. You can't have both. Oh, just one? I love him. [Conan] Yeah. (laughing).

You gotta choose one. You have to choose. That's just in my world. Gun to my head--. [Conan] In my world, you have to choose, you know. Look, I love my wife, but she is not my best friend. Okay, that's just not happening. That's fair. Yeah, no, I know what you're talking about. I'm just messing about. And tell me about your friends. You got any interesting friends? My best friend is Violet. Her name is Violet. We call her the VFC. The VFC? The VFC. You wanna tell me what that stands for? Are we allowed to-am I allowed to swear here? Sure, it's a podcast. You can do whatever you want.

You're encouraged to swear. [Conan] Yeah. Oh, it stands for Violet Fucking Chain. Okay, this conversation is over. (laughs). Yeah, that's gone too far. I have a prescription for you, it's called soap. Wash your mouth out. Oh my god. (laughs). That is awesome. (Conan laughs). So--. I'm getting my ass handed to me. (Stammers) So violet is VFC. Okay. And you guys are pals. You've been tight for a long time. Haven't you? And that's what I'm guessing. Since the fourth grade. Oh my God. So you knew right away that she was your friend?

I'm in it for the long haul. [Conan] Yeah. (laughs). Besties for life. Besties for life. So that's great. And is she a pretty reliable friend? She's a good person? She's the best. Yeah. But they're --. She makes everything better. She's like bacon. [Sona] Aw, aye that's nice. Oh, but then you get the higher cholesterol, [Sona] Aw. You know, thickening --. It's okay. Cause I'm a pharmacist. I'll know what I need. [Conan] Okay. [Matt] Oh, yeah. Well, what do you prefer? Do you like the Lipitor? Which statin do you prefer? Oh, you know, Lipitor, Lipitor, Lipitor is a good one.

Yeah. Very good. Excellent. I'm getting paid. Getting no money from the Lipitor people, but keep it going guys, you're doing a great job. (laughs). So tell me an interesting story that involves Violet. I just picture there's good stories of you and Violet having. adventures. There was one year in our early twenties, we went to an amusement park and I was super nervous about. getting on this one ride. It's like the kind where you just kind of go up really high. and they just drop you. [Conan] Yeah, those are. Those are, those are actually just, that's a mechanical failure and they call it a ride.

That's something-. That's just something that's not functioning properly. [Sona] Not functioning. "It's a ride." Oh the elevator just crashed. "It's a ride." (laughs). It's for your entertainment. [Conan] Yeah, that bridge just collapsed. It's a ride. (laughs). So what happens? So you go up and then you get dropped. Right? So we were, we were getting in our seats and I was super nervous, like shaking. instantly regretting, you know, deciding to get on this ride. And she was kind of. fidgeting with her harness and she. slammed it down.

a little too hard to make it click in place. And I think she had hit her. or hit a sensitive female area. [Sona] Mm. And she just screamed. "Ow my FUPA!" (laughs). And then away we went, you know. Wait a minute, what? She called, you said a sensitive female area. Female area. [Conan] I'm imagining-. Have you ever heard of the word FUPA? No, I have not. What's FUPA? In Tina Fey's words? It's a delightfully crude acronym for. Fat Upper. Pubic.

Area. Oh. Oh. (laughs). Fat upper. pubic area. Oh no. Or it is a crude acronym I named, I named. our dog Fupa. Oh no, [Conan] I didn't know what it was. I just made it up. I thought it was making it up and I get all these dirty. looks. (laughs). When I swam, when I'm out in the night. and I'm like, come here, Fupa. Fupa. Let me pet my Fupa. [Conan] Let me pet Fupa. (laughs). I'd been arrested several times and I say it's the dog,

but the dog has always wandered away at that point. So there's no dog there. Wow. So I didn't know that. Is that a Tina Fey-ism? Where does she, Is that, is that from 30 Rock? Or did she say it someplace else? No. She didn't coin it. I don't know where it came from. It has a special place in my heart though. Okay. Okay. I like that. I'm going to use that. No, you're not going to use that. No? [Conan] No. No, when are you going to have cause to shout out. "Ow my FUPA"? I don't know, when I'm on a roller coaster. and I slammed the thing down too hard. Or when you give birth to twins.

Oh yeah. I'll be like to the doctor. I'll be like, "My FUPA!". Yeah. (laughs). And my dog will come running in. Dressed in a medical gown. Oh, come on. (laughs) He's very responsible. He's got a stethoscope. He's got a stethoscope. (laughs). Oh, Dr. Fupa you're here. (imitates dog noises). Dr. Fupa (laughs). Very good. What do you think? (imitates dog noises). systolic pressure. He's talking? [Conan] Yeah, he can say some stuff. Yeah. (laughs). Kathy-.

Dr. Fupa is going to be the title of this episode. Dr. Fupa (laughs). Dr. Fupa is played by a golden retriever. (imitates dog noises). The position of the baby. is ideal. (laughs). Oh my god, what is happening? What happened here Kathy? You broke it. You broke the show.