Conan & Kevin Nealon’s Tag-Team Wrestling Personas | Conan O'Brien Needs A Fan

Hey Chris, welcome to Conan Needs a Fan. with Conan and special guest Kevin Nean. >> Kevin Nean's joining us today. Chris, how are you? >> I'm doing well. Yourselves? >> Oh, great. >> We're doing okay. Where are you coming. to us from, Chris? >> The Dirty Tea Tuck, Tucson, Arizona. >> Nice. >> All right. Wow. >> Say Tijana. >> I know. Uh and uh tell us a little bit. about yourself. I just have a little. scrap of paper here that says that you. are a This is impressive. You're a. luchador. Is that right? You're a.

wrestler. >> Yeah, I've been in the wrestling. business for 27 years now. >> Wow. >> Okay. >> Jeez. >> This is incredible. And you wrestle. yourself. Do you have a. >> He wrestles himself. >> Yeah. Well, we've all done that. >> What's that all about? >> That's not very fair. >> There's a fix in. He always throws it to. himself. >> Christopher, uh, you have a character, right, when you're wrestling? >> Yeah, I'm fully masked. Uh, I have a. character named the prophet. the. prophet. >> That's a great name.

>> It's a great name. It's a great name for. a wrestler. And do we have a photograph? I think we have a photograph of you. >> Oh my god. >> Look at that. That is impressive. So, >> thank you. >> You are the prophet. Tell us when you're. in character as the These are great. >> Jeez, look at this. >> Tell us a little bit about this. character, the prophet. Uh, are you. someone who believes he's a prophet or. is your character really a prophet? Does. he have magical powers? Can he see the. future? >> Uh, it's more of a mystique type thing. Very quiet. Um, just straight to the.

point. I get in the ring and do my job. >> Yep. >> And just represent myself that way. >> Do you have a signature move you do, Chris? >> It's called the prophecy. >> Oh, what what does that involve? >> Yeah, tell us about the prophecy. Do you. That sounds great. So, the signature. move is called the prophecy. And at some. point during your battle, you say, "Now. it's time for the prophecy." And then. what do you do? >> So I hook their arm over mine. I pick. them up sideways like a body slam. I.

swing their body out and sit down and. slam it. My god, >> that's so prophetic. >> Can I say. so prophetic, man? >> Can I say something? That is a greater. prophecy than anything I've read in the. Old or New Testament. And I think I. think if those were the prophecies, people would really pay attention. There'd be much more religion in the. world. >> Absolutely. >> Yeah. That's very impressive. Um, thank. you. >> You have to be an amazing athlete. >> to be a wrestler and to do it at the.

level that you've been doing it at for. so long. >> Have you had some bad injuries? Tell us. about that. >> I think I've been pretty fortunate, but. around 10 years in, I did break my. elbow. I had to get surgery on that. >> Mhm. >> But the the weirdest thing that happened. to me is I came down with a condition. called rabdomiolialysis. >> H. And that's basically where my muscles. were breaking down and being filtered. through my kidneys. >> while my urine was black. >> And that's bad.

>> No, no, no. >> No, no, not yet. >> Uh Chris, get to the bad part. Yeah, get. to the part where it's really I mean, I. don't think there's someone there's not. a person here who's not peeing some. black urine right now. But wait a. minute. Why did this happen? Why what is. it about this condition? and it breaks. down your muscles uh and then converts. it into a thick sludge that you then pee. out. >> when you're do that while you're. standing on the ropes in the corner.

>> Is that some kind of a defense like an. oil slick? >> It's like a You know what you should. have done, Chris? You should have called. your character You should have called. your character the squid. and just whenever you're about to lose, you shoot out this black stream. and your def, your opponent is. immediately immobilized. How many. costumes do you have, Chris? >> Uh, probably around 15. >> Okay. Do you have one for more of like a. formal fight or is it uh.

>> They're all the same, just different. colors. And. >> before we I want to show some empathy. here. >> Kevin, just stop for a second. I'm. loving it. >> Yeah, I know you're loving it, but I. wanted to make sure Chris, how did you. get rid of this terrible disease? And. are you cured now? And then we'll get on. to all the bits about. >> Have you got a cumber bun? You know, so basically, >> do you ever wear a carnation? >> Um, what happened to this disease? >> They needed to flush my system out. So I. was in the hospital for a week on a IV.

That was all I was doing, right? So, it. was for me a vacation. >> Okay. It's always a vacation when you. can just squirt out some black urine in. a hospital. So, then you recovered and. the disease does not continue once it's. flushed out. Is that continued? Is that. is that correct? >> I haven't got it again, but I'll. honestly say I don't think I was ever. 100% after that. >> Oh, I apologize. >> It kind of looks like you have black pee. coming out of your ears right now from. those wires. Oh, those those are those. are headphones, Kevin. I'm I'm talking about the wires.

>> Yeah, I know. >> Chris, let's get back to the comfort. bun. >> Yeah. Hey, Chris, I'm sorry that I asked. you momentarily about following up on. that question. >> Yeah, I'm really sorry about it. So, yeah. So, you went wee. It was all. black. HEY, WILL YOU WEAR A TUXEDO IN. THE RING? Ever. >> fans? You got a lot of fans, Chris. What's your fan base? >> Uh uh Tucson. Tucson, Arizona. I built a. pretty good following here and we do.

regular shows at the Rialto Theater in. downtown. >> Hey, are you a good guy or a bad guy? Are you the heel or you the hero? >> Uh, so I've been the hero for the. majority of my career, but two years ago. I turned hill and had a little feud with. another wrestler and that was the last. time I wrestled. I haven't had a match. in two years. >> Okay. Who's your archeneemy? Did you. have a nemesis? Someone who the prophet. always hated, you know, the the Cumber. Bund or whatever the other guy was. The. coolest thing I've done uh storylinewise. was I had a feud against myself, the.

false prophet. >> Oh wow, that's a great idea. >> Yeah, we stretched it out for a year, year and a half. We had a series of. matches and we were playing tricks, you. know, look over here while he's over. there and vice versa. So it was it was. fun. >> But wait a minute, did you play both. characters? >> So I had one of my original traineees. became my disable basically. That's a. great idea. The false prophet is a. terrific. And would the false prophet.

>> try to do the prophecy on you? >> Yes, >> I knew it was as agile as me. So, we. were able to do each other's moves. >> Now, if you each did the prophecy to. each other, was it one of those things. where it cancels out and there's like a. bright flash? >> Yeah. Black hole. >> Yeah. >> These are good questions, Kevin. I'm. sorry. Oh, this isn't sticky enough for. my partner here. Can I can I get to like. a real question if you don't mind? >> Go ahead. Yeah. >> Uh Chris, you grew up as a Mormon, correct? >> I did. >> And did you watch wrestling growing up?

>> No, not till uh teenage years. >> Do you think the fact that you grew up. in the Mormon faith steered you towards. more of a religious character? >> That did, but the other factor was the. 36 Mafia cuz their record label was. called Prophet Entertainment. >> Tell me about 36 Mafia. You're going. crazy here. hip-hop, a famous hip-hop. group, right group from the '9s and. 2000s. Yeah, it's great. >> And so, and so you were a fan of their. music and then you saw that their record.

label was The Prophet or The Prophecy. >> It was Prophet Entertainment. >> Nice. >> So, I kind of ripped that off. >> Well, you don't rip it off. You say I. was in I was inspired. You know, I'm. trying to protect you from legal action. >> Thank you, sir. >> Chris. Chris, you haven't wrestled in. two years, right? >> Yeah. It's just really hard on my body. these days. Just trying to take it easy. Yeah. How do you stay busy? Uh. >> well, with the wrestling business, besides doing that, I also rent rings. and get books for festivals and I'm also.

in the food world, too. Trying to start. a food trailer. >> Oh, tell us about that. >> So, I love Mexican food and I worked in. a restaurant for a few years and I just. came up with uh an AA frescos drink. line. >> Oh. Oh, so I want to start selling. almost frescos, but I want to call it. lucha fresca. Fight fresh. >> Nice. I like Hey, wait. That's a good. idea. I would drink lucha fresca. >> I could do an ad for you. You know, I.

would do I would I would be a uh And I. know that you're a great spokesperson. >> You'll do an ad for anyone. Uh. >> yeah, I'll do I'll do anything for. anybody. You know, you know the thing. about drinks, what are they? Is this. water? >> They're made out of water with the. ingredient and then sugar salt. >> Those are always healthy. Uh, I think a. lot of times, you know, when you're. selling a product, it's really the. packaging that sells it. >> Mhm. >> You know, like if you see these Topo. Chico bottles, they look so refreshing. A little condensation on them and uh.

>> cold bottle. What's your packaging looks. like? That's not about the packaging. I'm talking to Chris. I'm talking to. Chris. I'm talking cold bottle. Any. bottle condensation on it. >> Chris, I'm sorry. >> You're not How do you give a company. credit for it being cold? >> You're our guest any sense at all. You know, I love the the new Ford. Fiesta. Oh, what do you like about it? It's got some dew on it. Chris, if you. want to call me later. >> It's been outside and we're we're in. Portland. Yeah, that's what I like about. it. It's just nice when it has that do. that dewy look. >> Does it make you feel good to do that? >> It did. >> Does it make you feel good to pounce on.

people? >> I crushed you. >> You could call me later. We'll talk. about it. >> Okay, >> Chris, I like this idea. I like this. idea. And what are you doing to make uh. >> What kind of packaging are you putting. on there? So, I do have a clear bottles. They're. very sleek, and I do have a logo. already. I might modify it, but I was. just at a a pop-up market this weekend, and I sold uh at least 15 bottles there, so that's my start. >> Does it come in different flavors? >> Main flavors right now is ham and. tamarindo. >> My favorite flavors, by the way.

>> I mean, this sounds promising. I think. you might be on to something. Do you. have any big money backers behind you? >> No. >> Have you taken it on Shark Tank? >> Would you take it on Shark Tank? >> I don't know. I mean, it's been done. before. Always frescas exist, but maybe. the way the packaging and the marketing. might sell more than the other brands. >> I like the idea of Lucha Fresca. I think. that's great. >> I like the name. >> Do you speak Spanish, Chris? >> Uh, I do. I've been practicing for like. four years now in dualingual, but I'm. still not fluent. >> But that that lucha fresca, man, that.

comes out nice. >> What are you talking about? Comes out. nice. >> The way he says it. >> Oh, the way he says it. >> It also comes out nice. >> You're just so So, such a strange man. Uh, Chris, uh, so you haven't wrestled. Do you think you're done wrestling? Are. your wrestling days over? It sounds to. me like if you've done if you haven't. wrestled in two years, maybe that's it. No come back. >> I'm not retired. >> All right. >> Pretty much in the wrestling business, even if you retire, you don't, right? >> Because you always get sucked back in. But, >> but I have a wrestling ring. I I still.

train and stuff like that. So, >> I'm trying to just teach the new people. Chris, I I hate to make this about me, but I a number of years ago did a show. that I was very proud of in Mexico City. >> Does it have a a pony in it? >> What? >> Was there a pony in it? >> Why would there be a pony in it? >> Because it was a show in Mexico. >> Yeah. What's the connection? >> You don't travel much, do you? >> Um, bringing up Tijuana. >> Just call an ambulance. >> Oh, sorry. I'm in a donkey. I'm in a.

donkey. >> Call an ambulance. >> Chris is dying, man. Chris, >> you said pony instead of donkey. >> Hey, I really don't get out much. I. don't get out much, Kevin. I don't get. out much. So, I didn't know that ponies. in Mexico City are synonymous. >> He meant donkey. >> He meant donkey. >> He got it. >> Hey, Mexico City. Did you have a stapler. when you went stapler? I would have a. stapler. >> Do your bit. >> Oh, you know, Mexico City. >> Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're doing that comedy.

thing. Look at Conan doing his comedy. thing. >> Bit off of a bit now. >> Bit off a bit is just as legitimate as. any bit. Hey Christopher, I did this uh. bunch of shows in Mexico City. Very. proud of that those shows. One of the. things I wanted to ask you was did you. see my luchador segment? I actually went. into a ring in Mexico City and I had my. own luchador character that I dressed up. as. Anyone can see this if they go on uh. what's it called? >> YouTube. I can pull it up now.

>> There it The crazy rooster. I was the. Crazy Rooster. There I am. >> Loco. >> I wrestled. A. Have Are you familiar. with that segment? And B, how do you. think I did? >> Yeah, I've seen it multiple times. I. love all your travel shows and that. episode means a lot to me. >> Okay. >> Have you seen any of my stuff, Chris? >> In Mexico? No. >> It's all about Conan. >> We'll get through this, Chris. Just hang. in there. Well, what did you think of my. wrestling moves? Be honest. I will say.

you are athletic and I know you have all. this energy so you pulled it off very. well and one of the guys in the ring. with you is a former champion of mine. >> Oh wow. Okay. So you actually do you. know where I was in Mexico City? Do you. know the the the gym I was in? >> No I don't. >> Okay. It was just a gym. I think if I. had to really wrestle I'd be killed. almost instantly. >> Everyone was going very easy on me. because they knew, oh here's the. comedian. We got to go easy on him. I. have a lot of respect for for what you.

do and I think I'd have died within. seconds of me enter I think be before I. entered the ring I would have died. >> Oh yeah. >> You know. >> you know I went to one of these. wrestling matches a couple years ago in. New Jersey uh whatever that big stadium. is. And it was packed. It was like a. Super Bowl. >> It's huge. >> And the ring in the bottom John Cena. come came out. Sena people going crazy. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> I never knew it was that that uh big. I did know it was that big. It's been. big for a long I'm sorry. And I.

>> No, cuz I like to read. >> Sure. Okay. Well, I also enjoy a book. every now and then, but I've known for a. while that wrestling is massive. >> I'm glad that you've caught up. >> to what's happening. >> You know, everything's massive. I just. didn't know it. >> Uhhuh. >> Because I live in my small world of. knowledge. >> Okay. Uh Chris. >> Chris, I'm sorry. We're back to you. Yeah, back to you. Um, >> enough about Conan. >> uh and his career. Um, I'm impressed.

that you keep coming up with new ideas. You're trying new stuff. I mean, that's. that's the game. We've all got to keep. going. We got to keep trying things. And. so, I root for you. I do root for you. and this Lucha Fresca drink. I think it. sounds great. >> Thank you. I appreciate it. >> Yeah. And yeah, I everything I do to this day. is basically out of necessity to get me. to the next spot in life where I'm. trying to go. So I learned how to weld. just to build rings and you know learn.

how to cook to sell it to make money and. stuff like that. >> Yep. Who do you like? Who's your. favorite wrestler? >> Probably Mick Foley. >> and Rey Mysterio Jr. >> What did you like about them. particularly? >> Well, Mick Foley is the hardcore legend. He just. >> gives up his whole body to the business. and. >> just does everything he has to to make. an impact and. >> Mysterio is the biggest influence for me. cuz I started becoming a luchador. >> right. >> inspired by what he could do and that. made me think what can I do it so 27.

years later the answer is yes. >> isn't that it's funny you're talking. about wrestling it's really the same. with comedy we we grow up seeing people. and you identify people that you want to. you would like to you want to emulate. them. You had that, right, Kevin? >> Yeah. Yeah, everybody does. >> Who did you have growing up? >> Mine were three uh three people. Uh one. was Chris, actually. Uh. >> besides Chris. Yeah. >> Chris uh No, it was uh Andy Kaufman.

>> Yep. >> Uh Albert Brooks and uh Steve Martin. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And you? >> You never really did stand up though. >> No, I never did stand up. >> But you did it on monologues on your. shows. >> Yeah. Uh that's good. a little put down. before. Um, he's amazing. >> Did you feel comfortable doing those. monologues? >> Yeah, I did. >> Really? >> Yeah. Just called talent. >> Um, I uh. >> Chris is watching this like watching his. parents fight. >> Yeah. I'm sorry about this, Chris. Um, yeah, I had the same thing. It was uh. Steve Martin and I mean also Albert.

Brooks. I mean, watching his films, watching the stuff that he would do on. the Tonight Show, uh, that really. inspired me. this uh conceptual comedy. This that that blew me away. And of. course uh Python. When Python finally. showed up on my television, that blew my. mind. SCV. >> Well, I was basically just asked you. about comics, but okay. >> Okay. Well, let's keep it to that. >> I really want a history. I forgot how. narrow you were. >> I don't really want a history of comedy.

No, you like I like, you know, a Monty. Python and I like, you know, I like uh. shows Jackie. Oh, yeah. I do like. >> a bit. Lump it off a bit. >> Um, we criticize what we are. Uh, okay. Well, listen. Um, Christopher, it's very. unusual. I've never had Kevin here when. I talk to a fan. And we've tried this. once. We won't do it again. Uh, >> opponent anyway.

>> It's just going to be Kevin from now on. But I understand you might have a. question. Is that right? If you were a. tag team, you and Kevin, what would be. your characters or your names? >> That's interesting. >> Yeah. >> So, we're a team. Um, >> the amiebas. >> The amiebas. >> because we're kind of right. >> Yeah. We're very similar and then we. could be amiebas where we have to we. enter the ring together sort of in mesh. together and then we split apart. One. fights and then that has to.

>> I got a better idea. >> Are you saying I shouldn't have run with. this idea? I got a better idea. But the. amoeba, >> the Siamese twins, >> we fight in one costume. >> Wait. >> So, >> we're both in one costume. >> And so, the other one just doesn't do. any Well, one of only one can fight at a. time and the other's just is just. sitting there. >> No, they both fight at the same time. They both fight. >> It's much better if we're attached, but. when I'm fighting Chris, you're just.

doing nothing but looking around and. you're And yeah, and and kind of Yeah. You're just inert. And then when I tag. you, you switch and I I swing to the. rear. And now I'm behind you and I'm. looking at the crowd and I'm a nerd. >> What move is that called, Chris? What we. call that move? >> The little reachound. >> It's called the reachound. >> Yeah. The old idea. >> Yeah. Hey, look. They're doing the. reachound. Conan and Kevin are doing the. reachound. You guys would just be You.

guys would die instantly. I think you're. right. The moment that you walk into the. ring, you would Everybody would hate you. because you guys would be doing so many. bits. >> We'd be doing bits in the ring. We'd be. arguing and doing bits. >> And then whichever one wasn't wrestling, the other's just hanging off his back. >> on the phone. >> On the phone and doing bits. >> Yeah. On the phone buying stuff. the. most hated duo in all of wrestling.

>> Yeah, >> everyone hates you guys so much. >> They boo us as we're coming out on the. walkway. >> You got to admit, we would be hated. We. would be good heels. >> But that's good to be hated in the ring, right? If you get a lot of hate coming. at you, that's a good. >> Yeah, you're doing your job. You're. doing your job properly. >> That's like Conan here. >> Okay. >> He's doing a good job, by the way. >> No, you're not cool. Just not cool. >> Chris, what are you doing tonight?

>> Uh, I'm going to record drums with my. band. >> Oh, >> tell us about your band. >> I'm in a punk rock band here in Tucson. called Planet Strick Nine, PS9. >> That is great. And so, uh, you play. drums? >> I'm the drummer. And we're going to put. out a record pretty soon. I just. recorded like 20 tracks. >> Is it kind of like thrash metal? What. are we talking? How hardcore is this? Uh. it's kind of like Bad Religion and those. type of puck bands, bouncing souls. >> You gota Where do you perform? >> The Rialto Theater sometimes anyone tool.

here and then we usually go to Bisby, Arizona. That's where the band. originally was from. >> Chris, is it a music we could dance to? >> You could get down to that, but you. might get hit in the face. I'm about to hit him in the face. He's. going to get hit in the face. It won't. have anything to do with your music. >> No, I like to go to the Rialto and. dance. Yeah, I'm sure you do. >> Oh my god. If you guys were a tag team, you would fight each other more than you. would fight the other people. >> Yeah. The wrestler the wrestler the. wrestler would just be like, "Wait,

what's going on?" And you and I would. just be wailing on each other. >> in one in one costume. >> In one costume, wailing on each other. for the old reachound. We each reach around. Uh, all right, Chris. Uh, I'm going to let you go, Christopher. Christopher Hack, you are. uh you're a gentleman. Uh, and you seem. like a very cool guy and thank you very. much for listening to our nonsense. Yeah, you're a good man. >> I apologize for Conan. >> And I apologize for Kevin, but I don't. apologize for you cuz you seem like a. cool guy. >> Good luck with the band. >> Thanks. >> And the drink.

>> Thanks so much. It was It was a. pleasure. >> Yes, Chris. >> Uh, I just want to shout out my company. It's called Rockstar Wrestling Alliance. cuz I do music and wrestling and put it. together. >> Cool. Well, I always leave room always. leave room for the plug. Carson taught. me that. Carson Daily. >> Hey, Chris. Paintings. kevinneilanart.com. Okay. >> Unbelievable. Yeah. If you ever have. trouble, just dial 911. All right, man. Take care. Bye-bye. >> Bye-bye. Cool. Thank you. Bye.