Conan Is In The Holiday Spirit | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

hey there welcome to Conan O'Brien needs. a friend joined by Sona messian hey Sona. hi Matt gorley how are you sir Merry. Christmas well I was going to get to. that yeah you think I wouldn't get to. that uh it is I get I was I have to say. I do get the Christmas spirit I do every. year do you yeah are you. sick what I'm sorry I think it's I just. saw this DayQuil thing are you sick. sorry I thought it was because he had. the Christmas spirit and you're like. you're I got sick too after we got back.

from New York okay that made no sense to. our listeners this is this is what our. listeners heard I have the Christmas. spirit are you sick that's what I heard. yeah that's what I heard too and you. just yeah I had a cold like I got a cold. like about a week ago I don't have it. anymore but I still take these okay uh. to just make my voice sound a little. better on air yeah um but uh I as as a. son of an infectious disease doctor no. easily 11 days after having a cold I'm a.

threat to no one if that's your fear. that's I'm not I'm not I got sick too. that's why I was like hey we all got. well if you're sick you shouldn't have. come in okay um Merry Christmas everyone. it's literally Christmas Day when people. are listen what did I do Christmas I had. a nice Christmas thing and then I. started to say hey um you know I have. the Christmas spirit you're sick you. sick how dare you have the. Christmas spirit you pervert you pervert. what does that mean to you did you watch. some Christmas pervy porn.

you sick well I was on your side. and now I'm wondering what did you. watch why do you have the Christmas. spirit because of Christmas pervy it's. Mrs Claus no stop don't do it don't do. it this is where she's got a slamming B. and then there's a knock at the door and. she thinks it's an elf but it's a pizza. delivery what are you and she's like I. expected an elf but I forgot that I. ordered a pizza and he says yeah extra. sausage and she says what I don't like.

sausage and he said no that's double and. Tandra for dick and she's like no I just. don't like sausage and he said there's. no sausage Mrs. Claus that's the thing you say when. you're about to you. know take out the penis oh well just so. we're clear there's no there's no. sausage this is the worst porn I've ever. where is Santa is he out on his Mission. Santa is so sick of Mrs claw's. misunderstanding doubl and. Tandra that he just doesn't even much of.

a life with her anymore okay I see cuz. he's whenever he's trying to be romantic. you know oh man yeah he's he'll like. just say some what some some harmless. double and Tandra like check out this. North Pole yeah check out this North. Pole and like we're at the North Pole. why would I have to check it out we live. here and he's like no no I'm telling you. Sandra that's Mrs Claus's real name is. it I'm no no no Sandra we haven't had. sex in a while and I thought maybe to. spice things up I'd say Che out this.

North Pole but what do you mean we're at. the North no no I meant my blood. engorged. come on that's all I'm trying to. put some spice but wait a minute why did. you say North po because the pole is my. literal anatomical pole oh God damn it. Sandra I'm going back to the. workshop God I'm going to go a bird. house.

well merry Christmas everybody Merry. Christmas Merry Christmas you old. savings and loan God bless us everyone. oh my God that gets people in the spirit. right there God now now listen I want to. understand something because uh I know. that is Christmas celebrated at a. different time of year in the Armenian. calendar yes well it's it's the Orthodox. Christmas which is January 6th what's. that mean exactly don't ask me yeah but.

but what I would say oh okay I only know. this because you know Sona started. working for me and I was I think was. pretty nice I'd give you a nice. Christmas gift and I'd get nothing back. and she would say yeah I'll get you on. Armenian Christmas and I thought that. for a while that was an excuse like yeah. maybe I'll get you something maybe I. won't but then it turned out you always. did give me really nice gifts just later. on yeah it's better because you don't. have to deal with the Christmas rush and. then you have a lot of sales after deep. Christmas yeah so it it always worked.

out and it gave me more time to do. things but we celebrate both oh you do. both that always used to make me I had. friends who would celebrate Hanukkah but. also Christmas and I thought oh come on. well as a Children of Divorce parents I. got two Christmases which you know was a. silver lining oh you'll be okay you seem. to turn out just fine did you're not a. weird guy at all okay no you seem fine I. thought maybe I was no no oh God no oh.

God they'll get back together yeah sure. they will they'll get back together it's. literally been 4's a good healthy reason. why you spent a lot of your life working. at an amusement park this to create the. joy artificially that you couldn't. have it's so personal I'm at the. happiest place on Earth so I must be. happy any day now any day now here comes. my dad your dad is Goofy oh no my dad. did work at Disney though he met Walt. Disney did he really yeah what was that.

like that's a cool story awesome yeah. but I'm a second generation Disney. employee okay don't worry about it. listen oh God help me it's it's fine I'm. sure you oh God please don't let my. daughter work. there she's working there now oh god oh. no she's just a baby um listen uh I uh. I'm what are you doing I'm just writing. rap for when it's time to rap you don't. I know but you wrote it ahead of time. also did you hear that did you hear him.

writing I did hear the scri yeah when. you listen I haven't been in this. business long and you're Mr podcast and. you wrote with a well ballpoint pen on a. hard surface and it sounds like a that's. because when you're Mr podcast you're. not Mr radio and all rules are out the. window man it's a wild you can write on. a podcast you're going to leave that in. can edit it out no he's going to keep it. in because this is me busting him on you. threw me off I am a sorry an artist oh.

God and this is my medium no I am now. you threw me off okay that's nice sorry. was that yours was that you're sleeping. I was snoring sorry I start I fell. asleep while you were talking about. being an artist okay yeah I I'm glad. you're awake now because as an. [Applause]. artist it will always make me laugh that. The Three Stooges snore in unison like. in synchronized.

ways just I don't know it's just gold. and anyone who disagrees should never. judge comedy oh Sor um sorry Sona well I. didn't I didn't say I didn't like it why. you just well you didn't laugh but you. can laugh on Armenian Christmas well. okay oh my God no I like it too what are. your are your kids going to on the 25th. will Santa visit your kids yeah okay but. then he'll also show up on the does does. Santa show up on the six really show up. on.

fig shows up no we we we we say we go to. church but we don't is there an Armenian. Santa no like a like a equivalent like a. g papa is it January 6 three King day. isn't that why don't ask me the specific. Armenians ask Eduardo knows better than. I do Eduardo is married to an Armenian. woman yeah and apparently one who cares. about the religion and the Heritage does. okay okay but tell us tell us what you. know well January 6 is Dia de well in. Spanish Dia the three kings that's when. they bring gifts yes the wise was that.

when Jesus really got his gold. frankincense and myrr or something cor. correct okay many people say uh and many. conservatives say that what happened on. the capital on January 6th was just. people. celebrating don't connect it no no. listen that is a theory connect that. people were so whipped up about Armenian. Christmas that they wanted to they. wanted to gather together and. celebrate hey let's go into the capital. and hey the door's locked well we can.

probably push it open r r let's push it. open R. it January 6 was an Armenian. H I hear those sleigh bells ringing and. Jing. Jing let's go back to Disneyland no. we're good hey uh man that was an insane. opening uh so stupid stupid but also in. its own way really stupid uh you are an. artist I am an.

artist.