Conan Is Full Of Edge & Grit | Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend

[Music]. Sona I don't know about you but I got a. text this morning that said assemble the. team were doing a recording that I. didn't even really know was going to. happen and it felt like when the special. Squad gets assembled regardless of what. they're doing in their lives you drop. everything and you know you and I have. three babies between us I dropped one of. my babies yeah was it Mikey or Charlie. which one which one did you drop I mean. who knows at this point I don't know. you're a terrific mom uh I threw my baby. across the air like a football to my. wife and said Conan needs me literally.

you know Batman has his bat signal um. and I have something that's even cooler. which is an email chain it says I'd like. us all to meet at your convenience now. that doesn't sound as cool as a bat. signal but think about it in its own way. it is no you realize the modern Batman. would just get a text the bat Signal's. stupid right I mean the modern Batman's. just going to be on a text chain and. commissioner Gordon's going to be like. yo Riddler robbed Museum and then.

Batman's GNA be like on it and then. Emoji like you know uh that shows the. teeth n Emoji Emoji or that one with the. hands up like what what can I do yeah. like yeah busy I'm dealing with I'm. dealing with the joker you handle the. Riddler well this is like you're in the. big Metropolis right now let me explain. what's happening I have come to New York. City um I made up this it's kind of. funny but know 25 years ago I just. started calling it The Big Apple and it.

on oh Jesus that was me so why is it. called the Big Apple oh I'll tell you. why it's just a funny in joke why the. Apple why not like a banana well it was. going to be the Ruda it was Ruda and. then we decided to change it but anyway. um I did that I called it the Big Apple. and then it just got on like a lot of. things I invented streaking I started. that in the 70s uh yeah yeah cuz they. bet you stre in the 70s when you were. like what nine yeah oh God I did I. started it when I was nine and people. thought it was disgusting I just looked.

like a kid who didn't have any clothes. my point is this and I always say that. after a particularly stupid run I am in. New York City uh to do some uh fantastic. podcast interviews so I've flown here I. went to Boston first visited my family. drank a lot of Dunkin Donuts and high-f. people wearing Boston Red Sox caps then. flew to New York last night and now I'm. in New York and this means that at this. moment I have more Edge and grit than. either of you cuz you two are both back.

in La M yeah which means we have a lot. more chill yeah we're yeah you guys have. a lot of chill and you probably just had. your avocado toast and um I had an. avocado bath yeah you had a bath in. avocado fresh pureed avocado while you. were reading the trades about you know. the box office openings in the weekend. but I'm here in New York excuse me I'm. sorry I'm saying yeah that's what we do. we ret trades yeah you're always reading. the trades like oh you know this pick. just F you know did well uhuh.

oh just a headline are you a finance bro. right now where you don't understand the. industry I just don't really never read. a variety before I'm an artist I'm an. artist I just create it's up to you guys. to read your traits you just doing some. gorilla Street theater right now hey. that's me me and Banky we're always out. doing our thing we're real but my point. is that I'm in New York right now I've. been walking around I've got Edge I've. got Grit I feel it right now and and you.

two feel very weak and weak yeah. uncultured compared to me I just walked. past a couple of museums you've been. there for like 6 hours I know yeah and. you've been sleeping most of that yes. but in a very gritty Hotel I'd like to. mention by the way that you're wearing. the most cozy like Target great land. plaid black watch button up you look. like someone from Home Alone you're very. sweet and cozy looking that's not gritty.

listen I'm doing my best to hide my grit. from my audience which has never seen me. like this I'm like Charles Bronson right. now in Death Wish oh my God I am I am a. gritty tough Urban con no you're life. wish. what corly you're just the opposite of. death wish you're like just Mr Mr love. right now I don't know you just was. terrible you're not death wish you're. life that's the worst that's the worst. comeback I've ever heard.

look at me more like. wish that's awful that you know what. that's that was spoken like a guy who's. sitting in 80° weather and he's wearing. you know hey whatever I don't know what. I'm wearing I just threw on a t-shirt. I'm going to walk to the corner and get. a you know a smoothie and just enjoy the. Good Vibes listen to The Beach Boys I'm. here in the okay.