Conan Hates When Kids Call Him By His First Name (Feat. John Mulaney) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

can I ask you a question you have a. friend of your daughter staying with you. correct yes what does she call you she. hasn't said my name oh she just showed. up last night so she hasn't said oh. hello Mr O'Brien or do the kids friends. call you Mr O'Brien yes because that was. something that happened started in grade. school is that apparently the word went. out you call parents Mr O'Brien or Mrs. O'Brien and they do that and I used to. think that's a little formal I don't. know that I need that but the second a. kid says Hey Conan.

I want to tear into their torso with. like my sharpened Nails pull their heart. out and eat it in front of them maybe an. overreaction or proportionate thank you. yeah proportionate yeah the minute I. heard and my son once a number of years. ago when he was a little realized. that all he had to do was say my son is. quite large now and and older my son is. in his late 50s but my my son said okay.

Conan and he and I said like okay okay. and he was like all right I'll try. better Conan I'm like well it's you know. I'm daddy and you call me dad or daddy. and he knew that it's it really does. push a button oh it really he really big. timed you there yeah and what about you. what do you want kids to call you Mr. Melanie yes yeah sometimes I say call me. Dr O'Brien no you're not a doctor I'm. not do you have uh do you have honorary. degrees I don't know who knows those.

things he does he does yeah from. Dartmouth Dartmouth that's pretty cool. huh why'd you laugh then. why'd you laugh if it's so cool it's. great you were expecting a different. school didn't you it's great that. Dartmouth. what's Cornell book that. get the dishes. get the dishes for Dom DeLuise.

blooper reel on you ripping into. different schools. I gave a speech there they I was not a. prerequisite I didn't ask for it they. gave it to me I got a Bachelor's we got. a p you got a doctorate you gotta. doctorate what wow was it arts or. something yeah Arts of course Arts yeah. what do you mean what do you what are. you scientists in my own way I'm a. scientist you know in the in the 1700s. you would have just taken over your. Dad's job and you would have been. assigned yeah your dad would have. dropped dead when you were 15. yeah and.

I was still being alive that's insane. yeah it is insane you're like 60. my dad. my dad's 60 and you walk around with a. dad my dad at this point you guys should. be brothers. you should just be brothers my dad my. dad is 94. he fought in the Boer war. look it up kids. yeah he fought oh come on and uh yeah. he's uh he's still going strong but. you're right in the olden times oh yeah. where my father to first of all no one.

lived past 50. uh he would have dropped. in the field uh and I would have taken. over his medical practice and I would. have been a phrenologist I would have. measured the felt the bumps on people's. heads and decided if they were. sociopaths or not yeah so that's the. kind of thing and I would have been very. respected yeah it would have been a. better life for me then you would have. been working you would have been. training to do that from a very early. age yeah you had no child the people. always go oh poor Michael Jackson he had. no childhood but you know who else. didn't is anyone born before 1910 yes.

yeah and they didn't marry children with. a giraffe as a witness yeah. is that the first hard take you've heard. on MJ yeah you never yeah it's a pretty. sacred cow in comedy to not go after it. we now know wow we now know Sona a lot. of people have negative takes on it we. now know why John was not asked to give. the eulogy at Michael Jackson's funeral. I had a nice version I read your nice.

version new version I read your nice. version exactly what the that's exactly. what the host said I read the nice. version and it leads with the whole. giraffe no childhood thing I had a. version without that and I was perfectly. willing to call in an audible and switch. it on the Fly and the organizers knew. that but did I get LED in the Staples. Center no. you know I. Sona was a new hire when Michael Jackson. shuffled off his mortal coil.

backwards and um. come on he moonwalked off that mortal. was new and I called her from the car. and I said this is terrible about. Michael Jackson she said yeah and I said. okay well here's was that a test that. was the final no and then I said uh you. know just a range of like a private. viewing all that stuff and I said I want.

a private viewing and um and I heard her. writing it down like private viewing and. I said so just. find out who we talked to like sometime. alone with Michael and I said I I don't. I don't want to run into Tito yes and I. really don't want to run into the dad. and you sit and I heard you going I just. started just started yeah so I came to. work and the first thing I did was March. into her office and she was starting to. make calls and I saw in her pad she had. listed all of the things that I had said.

yeah you don't know Joe Jackson. wanted to adopt blanket that was a. separate call two days later okay but I. told her no that was just a joke but. then I called you again two days later. and said uh I want to um. can you get in touch with my lawyer. we're like okay and I said this is her. name and it should be in there and. you're like okay and she's gonna need to. figure out we're also going to need to. talk about adoption law and again and I. said yeah and she said what's this on. she said I I I'm going to want to adopt.

uh blanket and she just hung up on me so. that's when I hired just just started. working for him like I was so new. and he didn't care I would I would I. would believe him too yeah it's just. he's a stone's throw from Michael's. Inner Circle I I what. who worked with my yes yes I'm I mean. yes thank you it's Conan O'Brien I don't. know why I was calling him yeah okay no.

no I could get I that would have been. fine that would have been you wouldn't. have known I wouldn't have known at. least at the ready that he didn't you. know introduce him uh during the uh. black or white tours you know I wouldn't. know in the I wouldn't know because I. didn't do that yes because I was uh a. known person when you were young right. and so for all you know I partied with. you know Al Jolson like I you know any. anyone from the 1920s you linked me to. all those people yeah yeah it's very.

plausible sure.