Conan & Gourley Experiment With Meat Flutes | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

Today, in lie of a fan episode, we're. going to address something very special. A couple months ago, we did an episode. with our talent coordinator, Maddie. Ogden, about the snack basket that she. leaves for guests when they come in. And. you took some real issues. I did. Yeah. And I I pointed out uh some flaws um. which I think was important because. >> I'm going to say this, guests were not. taking the baskets. They weren't even. taking much of the food from the. baskets. And I noticed that it was um a.

lot of green chips made of kale. Yeah. Super healthy stuff. And. >> mushroom jerky was one of the. contentious things in there. Yeah. >> Yeah. We had rats here at Larchmont who. were starving to death and they didn't. touch [laughter] those snacks. I opened. the snacks and put them out for the rats. and they left a note that said, "Fuck. you." [laughter]. in beautiful calligraphy. in the second episode, I believe, where. you Maddie kind of gave you her new. snacks for approval. Um, Bla, maybe you.

can weigh in on this. Um, the subject. and idea and concept of something called. a meat flute came up. >> Well, originally, so Conan, to your. point, you had complained that there. wasn't enough protein. >> in the snack basket. You work out a lot. and you wanted to get Thank you for. noticing. >> Want to get some protein. And then we. thought, oh, but also we were we work at. a whimsical, funny place. And then uh we. said, "Well, it might be fun if uh we. give the guests something not only. protein, but something they could take. home and use like a meat flute." Uh and.

so fans took took this suggestion, they. loved it, and uh they they ran with this. meat flute idea. Big hit with the fans. >> Good. >> One one other thing to add uh is that we. decided it would make more sense for us. to have our own product than to be using. other people's products. And you were. adamant that you wanted to retain all of. the profits. >> Yes, this sounds like me. Um, if the. idea I remember when the idea of the. meat flute came up, there was some. concept that, oh, we'll team up with. some company and I was thinking, wait a. minute, why can't we I mean, we have a.

building here. I would guess it's not. that hard to um curate meats and sell. them uh to do like [clears throat] just. the five of us are going to. >> I don't have to worry about it. My idea. I'm an idea guy and then uh it's up to. Adam to get one of you two to sort of uh. >> slice and dry meats. Uh. >> that's you girls. You would do that. >> Why? >> You would make your own meat. >> You look like a guy that would wear an. apron. You know, >> you make your own meat. >> I get to wear like a like a leather face.

apron. >> Sure. >> Oh, I wasn't that. But yeah, like maybe. the apron itself would be made of meats. and dried. My point is meat dress. >> that um I think this would be a great. idea and it's a revenue stream and I'm. always being encouraged to explore new. revenue streams and I think meat flute. uh the Conan brand. >> Yeah, baby. It's Well, consider this. paper. This episode today is is kind of. almost like exploring all options cuz we.

did have some fans mock up some meat. flutes. And you can see these at team. Coco Podcast on Instagram. Also, of. course, if you watch the YouTube of this. video, >> but there's a bag there. >> I love I mean that photo of me is. fantastic. I'm the most deliriously. happy person you've ever seen on any. food product. And that's really saying. something. Yeah, that guy's just. electric with joy. >> But look at the little details in this. All proceeds go to him. And then there's. like an FDA badge down there with just a. skull. [laughter].

>> It says not really cleared by the And. then the FDA is in big letters. >> Yeah, but is that meat or is it like. chips? I can't tell from. >> I know. I don't know what that is. >> I don't know. Don't worry about it. >> Are you supposed to be able to play the. meat flute? >> Well, this is the other thing is it. became obviously like a very phallic. joke of Conan's meat flute. >> I was You know what? I was hoping it. wouldn't go down that road. It already. did. It already happened. >> That's too bad. That just breaks my. heart. >> You wanted to keep it clean. >> Here's what you're talking about. >> So disgusting. That looks so bad. >> All proceeds go to him. Conan's meat. flute. And it's just a flute made out of.

meat. >> It's so [laughter]. ugly. >> It is. >> What do you mean? It looks like a flute. >> Well, yeah, but it just it looks like. something from like the dark world of. the Hobbits or something like that. >> I don't know. I think that looks. perfectly fine. You guys are reading. into it. Uh, it's nice. It's a flute. It. looks like it would actually play some. fine music. >> Um, and we could we could try it out, but. >> I would buy that. Come on. If you were. in a truck stop, you wouldn't buy that. >> Uh, >> no, I [laughter] wouldn't I would not. buy that at all. >> We also got some shirts that have been.

made. >> Okay, let's see these. This is nice. >> Conan's meat flute. All proceeds go to. benefit Conan and Conan related. shenanigans. >> I love this. And um, look at this. Is a. great depiction of me. uh or John F. Kennedy uh or Ted Kennedy or Robert. Kennedy um or George Kennedy the actor. uh from Airport. Uh this is a uh or. Kennedy the VJ. Um this is a terrific.

This is great art. >> Who did these? Who did the mock-ups in. the shirt? Do we know? We should shout. them out. >> I'm not sure who did the shirt. I will. find out. Um the people who uh did the. uh let's see here. This is my favorite. color. Heather green. It really is. It. >> is nice. >> Yeah, >> it's a nice color on you. >> One of the uh photos was done by Tommy. Ton on Reddit. The other one was Fossil. Sandwich on Reddit. >> Maybe Tommy Tune the choreographer, too. Maybe. >> Yeah. So, who knows? I'm not sure about. the the shirts already.

>> You're playing the meat flute here. >> Yeah, >> it doesn't look like you're playing it. >> What do you mean? >> It looks like you're fating it. >> Why do you do that? >> Look at your face. >> Yeah, that's the face of someone who's. >> being filated. people who are filating. I don't think Well, notice you can't see. the bottom of the shirt. What's going. on? [laughter]. >> Oh god. >> Let me see what I don't understand. >> It doesn't that doesn't look sexual to. you. >> No, I see nothing sexual there. >> Okay. Why are your eyes bulging out of. your head like that?

>> If I was being filated, my eyes would be. popping out of my head. If I'm filating. someone, and I say this from experience, um, my eyes aren't popping out of my. head. >> You're You don't. >> I'm like, let's get this done. No one. makes this face when they're. >> before that police officer comes back. [laughter]. >> Do you know what I mean? [gasps]. >> No one makes this face when. >> you can't get any peace at this YMCA. [laughter]. >> No, no one makes a fellow get a break. >> I'm waking here. >> Um Yeah, I don't see I don't get a a.

sexual thing there. I don't at all. >> Sexual thing for sure. There's some. there's some sexual under you can look. at a filing Yeah. You can look at a. filing cabinet and you go, "Oh, I see. what that is. Cuz that's a dick and. that's a veg. I mean, >> the files go into it. So, yeah, there is. something sexual about filing cabinets. >> Out of control. Abacus. Abacus. Sexual. >> Little balls. You're sliding. >> little ball. Yeah. You're playing with. these little balls. >> Yeah. How about. >> you're adding up all these balls and. you're like, [laughter]. >> you know,

Jesus. Well, now that you've seen the. external pitches, we actually uh. amazingly had John Ralph the prop. master. >> John Ralph. Shout out to John Ralph. Yes. Been with me for hundreds of years. >> and a legend. Love. >> Internally, we've begun some some work. on some Conan meat flutes and we're. going to bring those in right now. And. these are real. >> Oh god. >> Jason's bringing them in right now. Also. a legend. >> Oh wow. Look at these. >> Oh god. Load. Oh, and smell them. That's.

that smells like good quality beef. >> I don't need this at all. I. >> Doesn't that smell good? Does this feel. sexual to you? Soda. [laughter] I don't. get anything sexual. Okay. >> Seven long meaty poles. [laughter]. The seven the seven schlongs of. Hercules. All right. Let's try and clean. this up. [laughter]. >> I will say one thing that's a little. triggering for me. Okay. >> Why? >> My penis has FIVE HOLES IN IT. >> I worked at I worked at a Swingline. stapler factory. [laughter] Let me. finish. And it was no pants day. This is.

the year was 1988. I was [laughter] in. between jobs. And I was and I remember joking around. and saying, "Look, everybody, it's a. it's a stapler piranha attack." Wait, so. when you pee, it's like one of those. portable sprinklers. You lie on the. line. >> I'm often asked when I have had a lot of. water before I use the urinal, uh, would. I mind going out to the lawn and. rotating [laughter] my body? >> Look at these. Are these uh edible?

>> These are edible. >> They are edible. Yes. >> Well, define edible. Like it's a prop. that was just brought into the room by. Jason Shalemi. And I've seen I've been. in every country in the world with Jason. Shalemi and I've seen him haul around. some absurd props that he's had in his. uh you know in his house. >> He took a bag of legs to uh to Thailand. Yes. But are these really edible? >> Uh well here's what I Well, so let me. say come to testify. >> Wow. You eagerly came into this studio. to make sure you we knew it was edible. >> Well, they were they were dropped off on.

Sunday. I met John Ral at a bar. [laughter]. >> This is how most days. >> He was sitting with HE WAS SITTING WITH. NO, JOHN WAS sitting with a priest, a. rabbi, and a kangaroo. I remember this. >> You guys met in a bar and did a meat. flute handoff. >> Correct. Some beers and. it was midday Sunday. >> I would leave my family to go meet you. and John Row in a bar, >> especially if there's a old meat. [clears throat] flute. >> Yeah. I'd be there for a meat flutech. Can you explain that they're all edible?

They're all. >> Have they been like preserved since then. or they just been sitting out since? >> No, it's been preserved. It was in a. ziplock. It was in a fridge. >> Um, so you just they is highly doubtful. to be music played from them. >> Well, I will say you might. >> I'm not going to eat one. I'm just going. to go on. I'm going to say right now. that and I'm just thinking I have kids. I shouldn't eat this. And if I die. because I ingested a meat flute. >> Think of that headline. Everyone's going. to misunderstand. >> Right. You think just at first blush. that someone just poked holes in these, but he did carve out a read here.

>> Yeah. Now, there's some [laughter] And. he also he said if you're if you're. inventive with your lips, you might be. able to make noise. >> Okay, here we go. Well, I've said that. before. >> Oh my god, you two are blowing into. sticks of beef. [laughter]. You guys are blowing into sticks of meat. right now. >> I'll give you $1,000 if you can play. some Jethro Toll right now. [laughter]. >> Aqualon, here we go. >> Grown men blowing into sticks of meat. I. can't get any sound out of this. >> There's no read. >> No, none of them have any inside parts.

>> Maybe we can make one. [snorts]. >> Oh my god. >> Oh, that I think I just cheated a little. bit. Here we go. [laughter]. >> What is happening? >> It does sound like he's playing a meat. flute. [laughter]. >> Try the Try the big one with the um. >> Yeah, try the big one. Try that one. Try. the jumbo. >> I think these will work. You guys are. flying out.

Piece of beef just fell [laughter] out. the front. >> It's the fact that you think music will. come out of these sticks [laughter] of. meat. >> What do you think's going to happen? You're still trying. You haven't even. changed your meat stick. [laughter]. >> You're still You're still trying on the. same stick. >> Aqua, my friend. I can't work here. anymore. >> We're done. I got to go. I got to. >> I got to leave.

>> This is awful. >> All our kids are going to be brutally. teased right now. >> Oh my god. [laughter]. >> All right, I have quick. This brought up. a a triggering memory for me. >> Don't try and eat it. You know what? It. wasn't the taste. It was I didn't expect. it to collapse and be so hollow and it. felt like [laughter] rancid or. something. >> Yeah, the insides are gone. The insides. are gone. Listen, >> did you carve out the insides or were.

they already. >> tool? There's a special tool. >> What? >> Some welding device. >> Okay, here's what we need to fix. No music comes out of these. Now, this. is shocking to me. >> Oh. >> Um, and we but we do need to address. this because these meat flutes can't go. out on the market. >> until they are functioning as music. I'm. glad you've said that because we've now. been able to level up where some meat. professionals heard about this and sent. a professional grade meat flute. >> Okay. >> Right now. So, this is. >> meat professionals. >> Meet professionals. >> We made them take a break from being.

actual professionals to do this for us. This is stupid. I can't be here. >> Look at this thing. >> Oh my god. >> Oh my god. This is a. >> Okay, so this one it's only edible below. the rope. [laughter] Those. words have never been uttered in human. history. >> Uh, we have an issue. >> No, no, no. The smell. >> No, it's got to it's it's got to go. across there. Yeah. Across the top. Like. >> you're on your own. >> You got You brought this up. You got to. do it. >> I think.

>> Am I doing it wrong? >> I think the bottom lip is supposed to. touch and you're supposed to like a. >> There she is. >> almost. >> [gasps]. >> Okay. [snorts] Can't believe you hosted. the Oscars. >> Wait a minute. [laughter]. You know what? When we were playing. Aqualong, when I was trying to play. Aqualong, I had a sense memory of with. the guitar singing Aqualong at the Emmys.

on stage while the cameras are rolling. and looking out and the first the only. face I could see was Oprah Winfrey in. the front [laughter] row staring back at. me and knowing this woman will never be. my friend. [laughter] And here it is 25. years later. I don't think we've ever. spoken. [laughter]. >> Let's forget. Yeah, [gasps]. >> I know. I'm not gay kind of sound. >> Well, I'll tell you this. It's served. It's beef. [laughter]. >> It's meat. It just smells like meat.

Below the. >> I can't believe we thought this was a. something that. >> I think it's doable. I. >> Yeah, give it to Matt. >> You do it, Matt. Yeah, Matt, you're I. can't I One of the things is that to. really get your mouth up there, you got. to inhale pure open. >> Is there like a read in these? I guess. there is. [laughter]. I think it's a crot. You got to go blow. across like a like a bottle. >> This is just embarrassing. >> I feel. >> And you know what? I've never been this. EMBARRASSED ON THE OH, >> WAIT A MINUTE.

>> Kind of something. [gasps and snorts]. >> Yeah, this will make people buy the. music. >> I feel like I have no integrity. I feel. the lowest I've ever felt. >> When you feel that way, that's what's. happening. I know. >> you're [laughter] blowing into a. >> That's why I feel. >> hand flute made of [screaming]. >> feet. >> Hey, [sighs and gasps]. >> when you laughed it worked. >> I think you have to be laughing at your. heart. You. >> have to have joy in your heart. >> You have to have joy in your heart and. you have to be laughing at your own.

absurdity. >> Yeah. Be. >> Yeah. >> I'm like Zam Fear but in hell. >> Do you Are the fumes are the fumes? [laughter]. >> I just want to make put it on the. record. I have not blown into a single. stick of meat. I just want to make sure. everyone knows this about me. >> Me thinks so. Don't protest too much. [laughter]. >> Meat. >> Okay. >> Okay. Here's the thing. This is a work. in progress because this does not work. as a musical instrument. And I'm pretty.

sure it doesn't work as beef. [laughter]. >> Uh it's um. >> it doesn't work as a way to live. I can. tell you that much. This needs a lot of. work, but I am encouraged. I'm like John. F. Kennedy talking about the space. program in 1961. >> Yeah, it's the same. >> I think we're not doing this because. it's easy, but because it's hard. >> Yeah, >> we're going to do this and the other. things. Um, I believe we proceed. I. think we're on to something. And I say. that knowing that we aren't.

[clears throat]. >> Who are the meat professionals that made. this? >> They're from a a uh well-known meat. company. >> Yeah, but this is the problem. Okay. Okay. They're from a well-known meat. company, but they don't know about. a musical instrument. >> That's right. Yes, that's true. >> Can we mention who who sent it? I. >> I think we're not supposed to. >> They clearly don't want us to mention. them. They made this, but don't want to. have anything to do with it. >> That's hilarious. >> Um I respect them for staying well. [laughter] clear of us. >> Maybe, Neil, I kind of to your point, maybe we should be pursuing uh uh. instrument companies that make.

instruments. >> Yes. Yes. I think you've gone about this. the wrong way and I'm criticizing. everyone involved. That's right. Um, you. don't start with the meat. It's got to. be [laughter] if you made a, let's put. it this way. Let's say I promised. everybody a car made of uh of of meat. The first thing I would do is work on. the car part and then coat it with meat. >> I wouldn't make the meat first and then. think, hm, how do I forge this meat? >> You have to eat it. You have to eat it. >> But not the whole thing. This is a pan.

flute that's encased. >> Do you remember there used to be candy. flutes? >> Yeah. So the sweetitty chitty bang bang. >> Oh yeah. In theory this can be done. >> This can and will be done. This is this. isn't this is something that I mean I. will stay alive to be 150 years old to. make this happen. >> I'm arbitrarily making this the dream of. my life and the only purpose of my life. >> But can you guarantee you'll die when. it's made? [laughter]. >> It will probably the last thing they do. >> Let's get this going. Me blowing into a.

huge tube of meat will probably be the. last thing I ever do. >> Okay. >> Um but I'll die with a big smile on my. >> Well, to be continued. >> Yeah, to be continued. Stay tuned. Uh we. are we are also taking investors. If. people heard this and said, I want a. part of this before it takes off without. me. Uh we are going to make this right. Adam. We're going to make it available. for people to invest. >> I don't know. >> And I'm looking for any angel investors, anyone who wants to put upward of $800. million or a billion dollars into Maybe. we just take the L and move on.

>> No. >> What do you think? >> No. >> Okay. >> I'm going to take the B uh with beef, the M for meat, um the F for flute. [laughter]. Uh and I am going to take this and I'm. going to run with it. [laughter]. >> Once I have my lips wrapped around an. idea this good, uh I go, you know what I mean? Just like. >> I go. Yeah. >> No, he does. He is blowing it. He said. himself. Yeah. I may have to advance, retreat, advance, retreat. But I will do. that with the meat flute until.

[laughter]. I get some kind of reaction. And if that. means going forward and then having to. go back and going forward [laughter] and. going back and going forward and go back. and maybe even increasing the speed with. which I go back and forth in a more. rapid motion. >> Yeah. >> And if I have to get in there and sort. of tickle the investors, I'll do what. [laughter] it takes to make sure that. this thing comes to fruition in an. explosion of wealth [laughter] for. everybody involved. >> You know what I mean? I'll go to my. knees for this. AND THAT'S A PROMISE. I'LL PUT. [laughter] MY HAIR back with a scrunchie.

and I'll get to work until this is done. And if anyone reads into this, you're. [laughter] disgusting. You're. disgusting people. >> Oh my god. >> So, uh, peace out. Meet flute. We're. going to have this happen. I'm proud to. know you, boss. >> You know what? I'm proud that you know. me. >> Yeah.