Conan Ghosted Mike Birbiglia | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

hi I'm Mike bigam and I feel ambitious. about being Conan O'Brien's friend. ambitious that's interesting as if we're. not already friendly people you know. we're friendly we know each other I'm. looking to take it to the next level oh. oh I like that maybe uh maybe I'm not. ready for that we have to see through. the course of this of this discussion. whether you and I whether I'm ready to. take it to the next level with Mike. biglia here's what happened last time.

I'm going to bring the listeners up to. speed um I challenged you on the idea of. the concept of the show that you want to. be friends and I said I don't have your. contact information you said it and then. you bleeped it but then we were in touch. and I just want to read a text chain. that we had because I'm in addition to. being a a second time guest on the show. I'm a a Avid listener I love the Steven. Wright episode.

oh thank you so good yeah he was. wonderful wonderful to Conan and I said. Stephen W's the reason I got into comedy. and listening it was the best interview. I've ever heard of Stephen Wright. because he laughed and I'd never I'd. never heard him laugh before and I've. been a fan of because I feel like I've. seen every interview so you like killed. him and then um and then I and then I. wrote this to you and you wrote I'm. actually in New York right now cranking. out pods taking meetings I'm in Midtown.

my daughter shows up today but leaves. Monday if there's a chance to grab. coffee it'd be nice to catch up yeah so. that was like a friendship move we had. we had never had coffee I tried to take. it to the next level did you really say. cranking out pods I'm cranking out pods. but that didn't mean. podcasts I did you know that did you. guys know that I I manufacture instant. coffee. pods and then so I make a decaf pod. that's quite popular that's the best.

version of what I was imagining yeah. yeah you don't know about cop pods cods. are huge cods are massive in Brazil. guess what they're about to be Starbucks. Starbucks is about to carry them no. actually in Brazil they drink cop pods. that are manufactured here by Conan at. his house yeah in coffee that's coffee. that's grown naturally in Brooklyn. Massachusetts I have a I have a coffee. plantation in Brooklyn Mass copons are. 90% dust yeah yeah well we're going to.

get that up to 94% dust cuz the profit. the profit margin on C- pods is. extraordinary like you've never seen. anything like it yeah because because. Brooklyn Massachusetts and I also have a. Plantation uh in uh in Newton Mass these. are not good places to grow coffee so I. get very few beans so that's why we need. to supplement with dust okay yeah anyway. it's a long story one for every Bean. they're slow Logan is for every Bean.

will'll give you a bag of dust. yes beat that slogan I've challenged. Madison Avenue to beat that slogan and. they can't do it they get their best. people on it okay there's more to the. text there's more to the text okay by. the way I'm team Sona. today team son. mug I'm also team Matt oh thanks those. mugs really uh they don't went missing I. think you're missing the point though.

that he's team son and team Matt and I. don't see a team Matt mug I've never. seen one okay so so you go I'm here I'm. here P you know I'm here podcasting um. and then you wrote text me when you're. back and I'll ghost you yes and then I. wrote I've been ghosted by much bigger. celebrities than you yep I it bounces. off of me and you wrote it'll sting. you'll. see and then God I'm killing myself here.

and then uh and then uh and then you. said I'll be back mid June because I was. trying to get you to come back on. working it out my podcast which which I. want I'm still going to try to get you. to come back on yep and then um when you. were back uh you ghosted me yeah and it. did Sting so. today what I want to do is engage try to. get you back on my podcast and also for. this for pods okay coffee coffee pod.

listen uh first of all um so you were. waiting for me to reach out to you when. I came back in June no I texted you then. oh yeah yeah yeah and what did you say. how did you know I was in town because. you had written mid June around the 13th. I wrote okay perfect can't wait yeah so. then but when I hear can't wait that. don't put this back on him no no no but. listen when I hear can't wait that's. it's that just is too irresistible when. someone say I can't wait that makes me.

think oh you're going to wait. you know what I mean biglia right yes oh. this is the real me you want the real me. this is why Sona is so hard on you yes. that is exactly why son you know me the. minute I saw can't wait there was part. of me that was like there's certain. things you just hate that really like. bug you no one understands it God damn. it you need to reply to him from now on. with can wait mhm then I can't wait yeah. let um.

one of the things you wrote is let's try. to make that work all I ask is that I. feature prominently in your next oneman. show yes that's good that's good this is. don't you think this is better than. meeting up with me in person this is. better these are classic quips and I. wrote yes you're the second man top. billing you'll have to. audition. um I you know what I am going to be uh. well this is the problem I'm going to be. coming to but I don't know when this. airs but after we've gotten back yeah.

after we've gotten back so I will be in. Brooklyn cranking out pods cranking out. Pods at the Brooklyn Academy of Music. with uh my team here uh uh Team Sona and. and team gorle but um that's like a. quick turnaround that's two days and. then gone do you ever get over to. Brooklyn that's where I live I I knew. that I knew that I was made it so clear. cuz I was going to take you for a nice. dinner at lucali Pizzeria the.

neighborhood got days free he's got the. days free oh he has the days free we can. do the days yeah let's do the days do. you want to do the days yeah I want to. do by the time people listen you know. what's great that by the time people. hear this I will have been to Brooklyn. and ghosted you. again no and it will and it will have. stung oh this will sting so much because. you'll you'll see me as I'm ghosting you. you'll see me in the glass in the. Pizzeria and you'll be outside it'll be. be shivering cold because it's November.