Conan Gets An Informal Therapeutic Diagnosis | Conan O'Brien Needs A Fan

This is fascinating to me. You have two. jobs and they're both kind of. interesting to me. First of all, you've. trained to be a therapist. I could find. that quite useful because I'm always. looking for therapeutic advice. And I. don't know if you have if you've been a. regular listener, maybe you have some. observations about me or ways that you. could help me. >> I do. I have been a regular listener and. watcher since 93. Uh so I I have. diagnosed you many times even though. it's completely unprofessional to do so.

>> You've you've diagnosed [laughter] me by. watching the television show since 93. and listening to the podcast. >> Yeah. >> And can you in a very can you very. briefly tell me what you think the issue. is? >> Um where do I begin? [laughter]. >> I'm going to rest my eye on the. microphone. [laughter]. >> Okay. Okay. Well, there's there's a bad. news and good news. Okay. Uh so bad. news, everyone knows you're neurotic and.

anxious because you've been open about. it, right? >> Uh but the good news is that you're open. about it and you let others you make fun. of yourself. You let others make fun of. you, which is a really great uh way to. be healthier about it. >> Or is it just a sad survival mechanism? Well, that's it's a good survival. mechanism, I think, in my professional. opinion. >> Okay. I like you. You're a good. therapist because you approve of the way.

I behave. [laughter]. >> So, >> I do. But, but but but but. >> what I think is that there there is some. conflict that you have with some members. of your staff that is not fully healthy. I think. >> and I think that should be resolved. >> Okay. Hey, anyone here maybe that uh. that you're talking about? >> And again, this is completely um. informal because it's not professional. for me to do this. >> Yeah, I see. I see you. I see you, Sona.

So, I want to say that Sona is dealing. with it really in a healthy way because. she is getting back at you all the time. like very directly and openly. >> and you can't you can't hurt her. She's. >> Sona. If if you dish it out, Sona dishes. it right back and it's a healthy. exchange. >> Exactly. Healthy exchange. Now, >> Matt, um uh. >> Oh, >> I think there's a little bit of passive. aggressiveness between the both of you.

and I think you should you should talk. about it and you should maybe go to a. couple's therapist about [laughter] it. or I can do it over Zoom as well. >> You know what? Okay. Okay. >> I think [laughter]. I hate to admit it, but Tasha, I think. you're right. Uhhuh. Because I think. >> just a little bit. >> What if I'm not looking to improve the. relationship? [laughter]. >> But you are because you always you want. to be want him to be your father figure. And. >> you have you have an open about it now.

>> I can tell you with 100% certainty that. I do not want [laughter] to be my father. figure. >> It's more like brother figure. I think. >> I think older brother. >> I think you two are like bros. >> That's what it is. I think it's uh I. think I'm an older brother that fathered. you. >> that sired me. >> Yes. [laughter]. >> And we're going to leave it at that. Which means. >> now I really need your help, [laughter]. >> Tasha. >> That was very unhealthy. Con, let's not. go there. >> Well, [laughter]. okay. Let's switch to your other job,

[laughter] which is luxury. >> cruise manager, you know, and and so now. I'm picturing you. You're you're on the. luxury cruise and there are issues. because you don't you don't know the way. I do because I've watched a lot of Below. Decks because my wife's obsessed, especially Below Deck, Down Under. >> Hi, Wisa. >> I love that you're telling a doctor, you. don't know the way I do. [laughter]. >> No, I'm telling you. You say you don't. know what's going on below deck on your.

luxury cruises and I'm telling you it's. going on it. There are they're doing it. There's all kinds of sexual hy jinks. happening aboard your boat and you need. to know that that is happening. And if I. came there, I know I'd catch some of. them in the act if you let me install. cameras. >> Oh [laughter] my god. >> So what? They don't sign a form. What. are they going to do? I'm going to flee. the country afterwards.

>> Why does she need to know if the staff. is hosting? >> I just want the footage. [laughter]. >> I agreed. >> So, I can't believe I have a father. thing. >> Where's this going? >> Well, [laughter] okay. I'm just curious. um about what's going on. What role do. you think I could play if you're not. going to let me install cameras. secretly? Night vision cameras. the I'm. guessing we'll use the same. Edward, are. you like the F 750s? >> 750s are great.

>> Okay. >> F7. >> We are going to maybe we'll install. cameras, maybe we won't. If I were to. come and work on the boat, what do you. think I would do there? >> I think first you should try out all the. different roles. And I think also Sona. should come because I want Sona to teach. me how to not care about my job as much. and [laughter] get paid. I really want that. That's great. Very. high strong in my love you Sona. >> I love you too. >> Yeah. No, Sona's really good at that. She just has been coaching some uh some.

brain surgeons [laughter]. >> and some cardiac thoracic surgeons and a. lot of people are dying now, but uh they. don't care as much. The doctors are. happier now. >> They're cool with it. If you don't care, then you don't care. Then they die. >> Yeah. Flatlining. Um, so, uh, >> yeah, but my my job is not as not as uh. important as the surgeons. So, [laughter]. >> what am I doing on the boat? What do you. picture me doing? And do keep in mind I. have you seem to have very fair skin. Do. you use a lot of sunscreen when you're.

out on the boat? >> Oh, no. No. My skin is great. I have. Mediterranean skin. It's just that I. take care of it, so it looks like it's. fair. Right. Uh, but you have a very. delicate skin and you can't be out on in. the sun. We know that. No. So, >> I'm like a very old Japanese woman. I. need to be uh I have to have a big hat. and I have to be inside wearing gloves. and uh glasses. >> and a little and a little uh umbrella. Yeah. >> Parasol.

>> Um I can see you walking around the. yacht like that. So, you say you have. Mediterranean skin and you take very. good care of it and then you pivoted to. me and said I have delicate skin and. then Yeah. >> implied that I don't take care of it. >> Yeah, >> that's fine. That's what I took away. from. >> that. I'm sorry. I didn't I didn't mean. >> No, that's what came across. It's very. Croatian of you. >> It's very Zagrebian. >> Um you're giving me that Zagrebian tude. Um. >> there's the title. >> Zrebian tude. that Zagrebian 2. >> So, um, what do you think would be what.

do you think I'd be best at on the boat? Clearly, I probably shouldn't pilot it. That would be a bad idea. >> Uh, sail it, you mean? Yeah, >> sire. >> Captain. Okay. Um, I think you uh I know. that you're really you have really good. coordination. Your body physically, you're very well coordinated. So, I. think you should What's that face from. Sona? >> [laughter]. >> Not just Sona, it was me too saying, "I.

think you called the wrong show.". [laughter]. >> But anyway, let's go with it. Yes, I'm. very well I'm I'm I'm coordinated. I'm a. master athlete and I have total command. of my body, which is well proportioned. >> Yeah. >> So, that's what we need. >> And you have Mediterranean. [laughter]. I have Mediterranean skin and I've taken. very good care of it.