Conan Gets An Anatomy Lesson | Conan O'Brien Needs A Fan

It says here you're an OBGYN. Is that correct? >> That's right. That's all right, baby. >> Very good. >> [laughter]. >> Is that how you always respond when. people say are you an OBGYN? Yes, all. right, baby. >> Yes. >> [laughter]. >> There are stirrups and I'm like, "Hey, baby." It doesn't go over well every. time, but. >> Wow. Okay. >> specific type of doctor. I get a very. specific type of patient. Yeah. >> Yeah. Um well, this is there's so much. [clears throat] to talk about here. Uh. first of all, have we met before? Cuz. someone said you came to a taping or two.

back in the day. >> I mean, yeah, when I was in high school, I lived in Jersey. We would pop into the. city, so I went to a lot of your. tapings. >> Oh, wow. Cool. >> And yeah, I mean. obsessed. And then um. my mom has like a ticket stub from one. time we went to see you in 1999. >> Wow. Cool. >> And we had met Fabio. >> [laughter]. >> at that taping. >> Yeah. I should point out Fabio was an intern.

at the time for our show. [laughter]. >> Yes. And so we took this picture. It was. before smartphones, so it was one of. those throwaway cameras. And then after. my mom took the picture with him, he. grabbed my mom, dipped her backwards, kissed her on the mouth in front of my. dad, and then like walked away. And then. a month later, he got hit in the face. with the goose on the roller coaster. Do you remember his face exploded on a. roller coaster? >> That's such an incredible. >> [laughter]. >> What an incredible sentence.

Let's think about that sentence. >> [laughter]. >> He dipped my mom backwards, kissed her. on the mouth in front of my dad, and a month later got hit on a roller. coaster by a goose. >> [laughter]. >> What an amazing, you know, incredible piece of writing that is. A. series of images cascading into each. other. >> At the Lampoon, you wish. You wish. >> know. Oh, never. I never could have. thought of anything like that in my. glory days. Uh so, uh, okay, well, there's a lot to, as my. wife would say, there's a lot to unpack.

there. So, Fabio was kissing women. I. hope that's been discouraged on Fabio. now. I would have carried a spray spray. bottle around Fabio and sprayed him like. a bad cat. >> You would you spray him with. I Can't Believe It's Not Butter? >> Okay. >> Remember [laughter] that was his That. was his big campaign. >> That's right. >> the shill for I Can't Believe It's Not. Butter. Uh. >> I would have tongued it. >> You would have tongued Fabio? [laughter]. >> My mom The first doing. would have. She was like, "Let's go for. it. Let's go full throttle.".

>> Sonia would have bent him over. backwards. >> [laughter]. >> Sonia probably. >> hair hands through his hair. >> Sonia's twice as strong as. >> [laughter]. >> as Fabio. Um, wow, okay, so, that's so. nice. I'm glad you came to the shows and. I hope you had a good time. Was your dad. traumatized by seeing your mom, um, attacked by Fabio? >> My dad's from Brooklyn, so he wasn't. having it. And I think my dad has some. sort of superpowers where he put some. sort of hex, like, on Fabio and that. that's why he got hit by a goose in the.

face like a month later. >> Have you. This is a pretty famous piece of tape. I. guess he was on a roller coaster and and. he and his nose is bleeding and. everything. And, yeah, and. Yeah, there he is, bleeding. It was. apparently a Brooklyn goose. >> [laughter]. >> The goose was paid by your dad. And. >> Look how pristine his face was here. Pristine. >> Yeah, pristine. Never again. Never. again. He uh So, um. I want to talk to you about your. profession.

Um, you are First of all, this is an. incredible, uh, incredible job to have. You're around uh, so many, uh, births. And you're bringing new life into the. world. Tell us about that. Does it. Do you get jaded or do you still see the. miracle every time? >> I think the day I'm like, "Oh, this is. not amazing." is the day I should just. hang it up. Every time I do an. ultrasound I see a heartbeat for the. first time for a patient, I'm amazed. Every time a baby takes its first breath.

and cries, I'm like this is so amazing. Um, shout out to Gorley who I know is on. his paternity leave. >> leave, yeah. Uh, he's on paternity leave. He's got. two children now. We're all excited for. him and Sona of course uh, has. experienced this miracle herself with. twins. Um, but you got over it real fast. >> It was just like let's get on with it. Let's do this. Get them out. Let's go. We got to hit the club. [laughter]. >> She took her newborn to the club.

>> [laughter]. >> Well, I only have one daughter. I was. one and done and I feel like it's cuz I. do so much with my patients. I really. live through their pregnancies with them. and it's it's a beautiful thing. I wish. it happened during normal business. hours. Um, I think it's kind of a bummer. that they like to come in the middle of. the night, the baby. It's pretty. [laughter] rude. >> Is it true that you. uh, you've been accused of trying to. induce between 9:00 and 5:00? >> [laughter]. >> Any kind of bank holiday they're not.

born. >> Everyone's like, "So oh, you have to go. play golf or something?" Like I don't. play golf. Like what year is this? But. [laughter] yeah, so I wish it happened. during normal business hours. It. doesn't, but I picked this when I was in. my 20s. Now I'm in my 40s. I'm feeling a. little old, little schleppy, but it's. okay. I still love it. >> What are the things that you do. immediately after the birth? What are. the. uh, what hap- the baby's born. um, and I have been through this twice. with my kids. Uh, I was there, very. present, very present for both. Uh,

>> Why do you stress. You saw things. >> I saw. I saw so many things. Uh, and and then. it's so funny how you can kind of. forget, I don't know what you can you. can kind of almost black out afterwards. and so I'm trying to remember what. happens. I mean yes there's the cutting. of the umbilical cord. >> black out a lot. They literally pass. [laughter] out. >> I didn't pass I didn't pass out. but. >> Thank you so much for that cuz the dads.

are always falling down and we're always. like we don't have time for you right. now. >> Little. >> And just like pick your. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> We have smelling salts like come on. But. the cutting of the cord yes the dads. like to do that. I'm not sure how that. became a thing but if that makes them. feel included I'm all for it. [laughter]. >> Well it's so funny because I didn't ask. to cut the cord but the doctor said now. you cut the cord and handed me the. scissors and I thought well am I getting. paid here? You know what I mean? >> Oh my god.

>> I'm serious. When I have a plumber over. and he hands me the wrench I'm like okay. I want a. >> [laughter]. >> Am I getting a am I GETTING A THIRD? SO that was my complaint. >> And I was I'm worried about unions. I. don't want it to be a union violation. >> Right right okay. >> So that was my concern. >> the dads it's thicker than you think. it's like cutting chicken cuz they kind. of like take like little bites out of it. but you got to really go for the gusto. It's thicker than you think. >> Yeah. >> But the baby goes right on mommy's. abdomen. We do delayed cord clamping. Get some blood flow back into baby. We.

want to do that skin to skin for that. first hour. A lot of bonding. Our. hospital's really about mom and baby. bonding and. but yeah we get them to stimulate and. cry and give us that good first. really great cry. >> How do you get them to cry? Do you just. tell them sad stuff? What do you. >> [laughter]. >> Yes actually. I tell them no. You. >> number of Americans can't read. [laughter]. 40% of government buildings HAVE. ASBESTOS.

WOW. >> [screaming]. >> RIGHT. THEY'RE LIKE. SO I JUST SOMETIMES flick its little. foot like underneath its foot. You go. like this. >> Yeah. >> And it it pisses them off. >> Sure. Pisses me off just hearing about. it. >> [laughter]. >> I know. It's all about pissing the babies off, getting them that good cry. But I we. have such a great team at our hospital. Our nurses are so great bedside. So I'm. very lucky and I do really love my job. >> Very cool. And what kinds of things. could you teach me? You're very hyper. aware of the female body and there are. probably things.

believe it or not that even I wouldn't. be aware of. >> What? >> You know what I mean? And maybe this is. a good this is a this is a good chance. for me to know some things if you can. impart to me any wisdom. >> Well, I think knowing anatomy is really. important. Erogenous zones. >> What are those? >> Things that could. >> Right. >> [laughter]. >> Well, man, we got to really start from. the beginning. >> Yeah. >> Um just I think a big thing that. sometimes men don't know is that women. have more than two holes. They have. three holes. So that's always. interesting.

>> Wait, what are we talking about here? What are what are you talking about? Wait, what? >> Right. >> No, be more specific cuz I honestly. Suddenly it's a bowling ball. What is. it? >> Yeah. [laughter] You urinate through one. hole, right? >> What's that? Say huh? What's that? Urinate, yeah? >> Pee peepees? >> Peepees, yeah? Yeah. >> Uh-huh. Peepees, poopoos. >> Yes, of course. >> Right? And then baby come out of the. vagina. >> Yeah. >> So that's three. >> He's scared of the word vagina. >> But it's the urethra, the vagina. >> Urethra, the anus.

>> [laughter]. >> Anus, right, Sona? We're going to use. our doctor words, I guess. I said peepee. and poopoo, so. >> [laughter]. >> Tell me about your medical school. >> Right? How did that even happen? >> So sir, you went to. poopoo. >> [laughter]. >> poopoo you. So um. Okay, so the erogenous zones, you could. help any man know about the erogenous. zones. >> Yeah, where the clitoris is. I feel like. that's really there's a great spot.

>> [laughter]. >> Listen, there's a book you should read. >> As far as I'm concerned, that's. Sasquatch. >> [laughter]. >> You hear a lot of talk, but I've SEEN NO. EVIDENCE. HERE'S A BLURRY PHOTO OF of a clitoris. Yeah, I've seen that photo. Um look. >> [laughter]. >> If you're going to be talking. on this thing. I am a clitoris denier. >> [laughter]. >> I. I I. >> [laughter].

>> We have enough misinformation online. We. can't. We have flat-earthers. >> [laughter]. >> Now we have clitoris deniers. >> What do we. He's got a blurry photo. >> [laughter]. >> from 1938. of a clitoris running between two trees. >> [laughter]. >> See it right there? >> [laughter]. >> I don't know. This was taken by a Scottish hiker.