Conan Gets A Tarot Reading | Conan O’Brien Needs a Fan

Well, maybe you could tell me something about myself. I would love to. Do I have permission to pull a card for you? Yes, you do have permission to pull a card. Okay. Shuffle shuffle. Yep. See, I'm shuffling, That sound you're hearing is the shuffling of cards. Oh yes. All right. Okay. This is exciting. I don't know what's gonna happen. Oh my gosh. Okay, you got this beautiful six of cups. Okay. I'll describe it. Yeah. Describe the picture. There's two children. It's a very sunny, happy card.

One of the children is offering the other a bouquet flowers. Okay. And this is this, there's a real sense of nostalgia in this card. So I would say it's, maybe somebody from your past has been on your mind. Maybe you need to connect with them right now. Let me think. Past. Nope. Okay. No, no, no. I'm kidding. Well, that's just such a broad statement. So yes, often there are people.

in our past that are on our minds. Okay. Yes. I drew a line when I became famous in 1993, I decided to cut all ties with everyone before then. (man laughing). Well, here's the other part. That's what you're supposed to do! Harrison Ford told me that's what you're supposed to do. And I did it. So, I don't speak to, I've not spoken to my parents my brothers, my sisters, anyone from a pre-fame had to go. Well, this is the other thing, you need to offer an olive branch to somebody, it's time for forgiveness.

Wow. So, yeah. Well if only there was someone close to me. who I probably owed an apology to. Who would that be? Oh, I see you guys. I just pulled the high priestess I think that's Sona. Hey! I'm offended. Yeah, yeah. Why does, Priestess! Priestess! Okay. So Sona, Sona is the high priestess, that's the card you just pulled, and Sona, I do think of you as a high priestess. Yeah. You're often high.

You apologize? No, I apologize yet until I know, Patty, what do I have to apologize to Sona for, do you think? Oh my God. I know what you have to apologize to her for. What? For calling her bad. One of the previous podcasts. Thank you, Patty. Wait, wait, did you say, did you say one of the previous podcasts? Thank you, Patty. Yeah. Oh, yes. No. No. Patty, I have demeaned her work ethic. in every episode of the podcast.

But you specifically called her bad. Although I did understand where you were coming from. Yeah. Oh, Patty, come on. So no, not in being bad, but in your rationalization of it. So, but I digress. She uses my name to get like, reservations and drinks at restaurants. that I'm not going to. That's bad. That is bad. She brought a dog to a restaurant that doesn't allow dogs, because she knew that I was going to be joining her there.

And she thought the wait staff won't say anything. if Conan O'Brien's there. These are the actions of a terrible person. He makes large groups of people laugh at me. And then he forces me to high five him. immediately after he's made fun of me. That's terrible. Oh my God. Yeah. So he does that. He had everybody calling me a vampire. for the first, like three years that I worked for him. Do you not drink the blood of the living. so that you can live forever? Do you not Sona? I don't, actually. I don't do that, 'cause I'm not a vampire.

I don't even know, you know why it started? 'Cause I was speaking Armenian to my grandma, and he said, it sounded like I was arguing with Dracula. It did sounds! There was a lot of, (Conan speaking gibberish). And it just sounded, that's what it sounded like to me, it sounded like Dracula. was trying to talk to a fellow vampire. and trying to get him down on the price of a used card. That's what it sounded like. (Conan speaking gibberish). And so I just, I didn't know. So I came out, and I was legitimately describing what I had heard.

And so, listen, I will say Sona, I'm looking at your zoom background, I don't see a single crucifix hanging on the wall. And guess what? You're right, everyone who's not a vampire has massive crucifixes, Several times I've visited. And of course I was raised very Catholic. and come from a very Catholic background and family. I've given Sona crucifixes and said, here this is for your home. I picked this up in Rome. It's really beautiful. And she goes, (Conan hissing).

And knocks it out of my hand and then it bursts into flames.