Conan Explains Why He Purchased A Burner Phone | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend
I want to come clean about something. which is that recently I got a burner. phone. You did? And I love it. I love having a burner. phone. Okay. Now, you're you've been. intimately a part of the process, David. Um, basically, uh, Oscars were getting. close. Mhm. And I was noticing that there was so. much going on between the podcast and. the HBO Max series and the Oscars. Humble brag. Busy much Conan. Um, no. Anyway, the things I was getting.
crazy. and I said to you, I just want to have a. phone that has so that I can call Liza, that I can call you, David, I can call. Jeff, I can call Sweeney, the. headwriter. Like, I really want to just. be able to. Sona's number's in there, too. And Sona's Yes, Sona, you're in there as. well. Okay, thanks. Okay. I just chose not to call you. Um, no, I did call you from the burner. phone. But here's the thing. So, um, we. went and we got a plastic flip phone. Yeah, I I just called and ordered it. You went and picked it up all on your.
own. And the young man selling it to me. recognized me and was weirded out that I. wanted this phone. Well, cuz Okay. Well, I was thinking. after picture you're the person I call. and I say, "Conan O'Brien's coming in. with an unlocked flip phone. He needs a. like month-to-month number, not. connected to his to his regular one." It. sounds like he's like involved in. something. It's shady. It is shady. The guy acted. the kid acted like this is weird and I.
just said give it to me now. I need it. now and walk around and it's this cute. blue little guy and I like him. I like. him and it's crazy. I tried to send a. text on him. It's insane. Is it T9 texting? You have to press each. button until the letter pops up. Yes. And I mean, you end up everything's. everything's yes or no with my answers. You can't send an elaborate thought.
because it takes 40 minutes for me. Wait, no bits? You just send a reply. with no bits. I can't do bits because it's too I can't. do. only On only text the burner. I can't. Oh my god. So, I start walking around. with this thing and I'll call people and. for a while no one was picking up. because this it's just there. They just. think I'm spam. But then I told them, "Look, I've got to burn a phone and. here's the number." And so, um, I ended up not needing to use it as.
much as I thought because it turns out. not that many people were contacting me. I had this whole freak out which is. like, "I'm hosting the Oscars. I'll be. bombarded with well-wishes and advice. from top celebrities. I need a burner. phone so I can think my thoughts in. seclusion. No, not that many people. So. then I was contriving reasons to call. people like, "Um, hey David." And you're.
like, "Yeah, you called me from your office upstairs. You could have just yelled my name.". I called you from upstairs and I was. like, "Can you come on up here?" And you. were like, "Yeah, I can. Good. Good. thing I have this burner phone. So, I still have it. Yeah. And I love it. I don't have a real. reason to use it, but I love the idea of. maintain. First of all, it expired. automatically after a month. And then I. got mad. I was like, what are you doing? I want to keep this thing. I want to have this phone that only uh I.
know about. And I don't know what I'm. going to do, but I know it's going to be. crucial at some point soon in my life. Okay, I'm going to be in some situation where. I need this burner phone or I'm on the. run. I'm on the run. I'm on the road. I'm on the go. I'm trying to get off the. grid. Can they trace a burner phone? No. The whole point is that they can't. That's the why it's a burner phone. Here's one thing. My wife, I found I. only found out about this recently, but.
she tracks us on our smartphones. All of. us. Yeah. All like me, our kids, like. they're on the east coast in college and. she's like getting lunch. I'm like, "What? What the hell are you doing?". She's in the dining hall. And then uh not that long ago, uh I. called her to tell her I'm running late. to meet her for sushi. And I call her. and go, "Yeah, I'm just stuck in. traffic. I'm I'm just running a little.
late." And she went, "Well, you're. pretty close.". Oh. Oh, and I'm like, whoa, good thing I didn't visit the mistress. today. Anyone who calls her the mistress. doesn't have a mistress. Anyway, um, but. this now this idea is I don't like I. don't like her knowing where I am all. the time. I don't think I'm up to. anything bad. No. Still, I like the idea of maybe I'll. just she'll be like, "I'll see what. Conan's up to and she'll call the phone.
and it will ring in the kitchen and. she'll be like, "Wait, he left the phone. here and I'm out there somewhere like my. old Ford Taurus cuz that can't be traced. either. My 92 Ford Taurus, which I still. own and I got my burner phone and none. of you can get me." Well, David can call. him. But where are you going to go? What are. you going to do? I'm just going to go off the grid. But what does that even mean? To Santa Monica.
Oh, okay. All right. 6 miles from my home. But you're also very recognizable. So. people will like see you and maybe. someone who knows Liza will just. baseball cap that says not Conan. That. should work. That's a good disg. Who would be the first person to flip on. you if Liza pressed them? All of us. They would all They're all allied with. my wife. Yeah. Every single person. I can't think of. anyone. There's not one person who would take my. side over Liza's side. Everybody. Everybody. In everybody.
Yeah. Prefers. She call us and she would be like Santa. Monica. Before she even asked us. exact location. Yeah. Yeah. Like he's eating here. Has a lobster. Isn't it kind of nice though not to like. be obsessed with looking at your phone? No. It is good. And I did it because I. had just read an article in the New York. Times where someone said it helps break. your addiction to your phone. I'm addicted. if you have a flip phone and actually.
recommended this brand of flip phone. Uh. and that's why I got it. And I do find. that when you don't if you have the. security of knowing like here I can call. these key people and find out what's. going on. Yeah. Um I really like not being tempted to. look at the text, not being tempted to. look at the emails. Can you tell us? Maybe they'll send us a. bunch. No, I think that would be immoral. What? You were like set on it, too. It was. like a Saturday and you were like, I.
want this now. I want a flip phone. Yeah. You know what? You know you know. when you get an when I I don't know if. everyone's like this. when I get an. idea, I want to let's get this done, David. And then I drove down there. I wanted to. go pick it up. I was excited. And I'm still excited. I. love this little guy. He's cute. And it goes it goes. Yeah. Oh, that's my other favorite thing. is when a conversation's over, I try to. be argumentative at the end of the. conversation. Just flip it. Just so I can flip so I can snap it. shut. So, I'll be getting along. perfectly well with whoever. And then. I'll say, "I know you're embezzling from.
me." And they'll say, "Wait, what? You're a robber and you know it." And. then I just click it shut. Yeah. Snap. And then I. It's great. It's such a great way to end. a conversation. Flip phones. Bring them. back into your life, says Conan. Yeah. I I'm I'm actually inspired to get. one. Aren't they like making smart flip. phones? I don't want a smartphone. I want a. Yeah. I want no email. I want. Oh, they also are making There's a phone. now that unfolds. Mhm. And it And you basically unfold it and. it becomes a like a computer screen. I mean, things are getting weird. I say.
go flip phone. That's what I say. Also, aren't the kids, and I don't know. this, but David, you're the closest. connection to youth. Aren't they. rejecting smartphones in favor of Oh, they're called dumb phones. In favor of. dumb phones. I don't know. Yeah, you asked the wrong. flip it up. What's the What's the. slogan? Hey, so are you saying. go to flip town? Guess what? Accidentally. I love that. Accidentally, I did something. My. instinct was to do something that all. the young people were doing. You flipped it up. Yeah. Well, I don't think. you went to flip town.
No, I flip flop. You're flipping it. You flip the. flip-flop isn't good cuz a flop means it. didn't go well. I I'm trying to I I came. up with a good slogan for it. Just say. flip town. Don't give me any name of your flipflop. That's. I um Anyway, that's the new me. And if. you get a Hey, anyone listening right. now, if you get uh what you think is a. spam call, pick it up. It might be me. calling you. Your camera's here. Oh, there's my camera. Yeah. Peace out.
