Conan Doesn’t Think Kevin Nealon Has Any Respect For Him | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

As you know, I'm I know you and I know. your family. I know your lovely wife. Uh. your very handsome, cool son that you. don't even know his name. Gable. Okay. You don't need to like spread it around. Jeez. Why don't you just give him my pin. number? Uh and I see you. I've known different. incarnations of you, but I see you as a. guy that now gets a lot of satisfaction. out of your wonderful family. Uh, and I. think that that is uh I'm happy for you.

in that regard. Done. Done. I don't really hear a. question though. Why is it so difficult to break through. to you where you don't even want to cuz. you don't want to know cuz it's too I. don't want to know. I don't want to. know. It's too difficult for you to You. do. Um, you'd be the worst interrogator. You won't even ask the question to the.

to the uh I am famously a good. interviewer. I'm a very good. interviewer. I'm one of I'm I I think. that's a skill I have. You're the only. person I've ever known that's accused me. of of being a terrible interviewer. All. right. Let's say I'm a u a suspect. Okay. I'm in the interrogation room. Okay. Uh I just somebody just um robbed. a Brinks uh truck. Mhm. Yeah. Um it. wasn't me. Well, what do you say to. that? Okay. Uh sounds like you're. innocent to me. Uh, you're free to go. Um, no. But you're I I'd say I'd ask you.

a couple of questions. Were you uh near. the bank of the the Brinks truck when it. was robbed? No. You weren't in the. neighborhood? No. No. Then where were. you? Good question. You think a suspect ever says that to. That's a good question. All right, let me go back to that qu. that statement that you mentioned about. my family. Yeah, very lucky. I do. Um I. do love them and I'm so fortunate. um to have them and I think you feel the.

same way about your family. Do you? I. think you do. Sure. Yeah. Uh they're. great. Um I prefer your family. Uh it's. an amazing family. I don't believe you. You are an enigma a little bit to me. I. don't quite understand you. I admire. you, but I don't quite understand you. Uh and I know that you don't really. understand me. I think we're both hiding. um our true feelings, not just from each. other, but from a lot of people. I think. we want to be like Oh, I have a question. for you. Have you cried? Do you cry? Yeah. Cuz I don't cry. I.

credit this movie. Come see me in the. good light. Okay, stop doing that. What? Doing what? You ask me if I cry. That is. so low. And you know what's great about. it? It's laughter and crying. It's like. unexpected humor. Okay. Um it's just. humor. But I do cry. Why? Uh do you cry? Seriously, I'm being honest now. Who. doesn't cry? I don't cry a lot. I don't. think I cry a lot. See, you hold it in. I don't think I'm even holding it in. It. just doesn't happen. I don't I don't. think I I I think I've only seen you cry. like a couple times. Yeah. Yeah. When.

you heard the news about the Oscars. posting that, did you cry? I did. I'm. still crying. That was interesting when. Eric Idol, our friend Eric Idol, the. brilliant Eric Idol. Yeah. Um can we. talk about this? He was diagnosed with. pancreatic cancer. Yes, he was. and he. said he had couldn't even think about it. or had no reaction emotionally. But then. when he heard that it wasn't pink and he. was fine, he cried. What I could see. that the relief? Yeah, the relief. Yeah.

You're holding it in and you have all. that stuff. He got a death sentence and. then he got a reprieve and and he and. he's famously you know of course uh grew. up he's funny World War II World War II. uh in that generation uh after that was. you know rationing and uh repression and. all kinds of stuff. So yeah, I could see. him. Did he tell you about his father? What happened to his dad? No. He came. back from the war. They've been gone. from the war. Got into their.

neighborhood, crossed the street, got. hit by a truck. M. Oh my god. Yep. A. lororry as they call them. Yeah, that's. the name of a truck in England. Yeah. An. elevator is a See how I'm bringing it. back up again? That's a terrible story. I didn't know that. Yeah. And maybe I. heard it, but I didn't process. You. didn't care about it? No, it's not that. I didn't care about it, but I I I don't. think I knew that. No, I I may have. known that cuz I know that I read I've. read a lot about him. I just don't. remember that part. You should have some. video games in here that the guest can. play.

You're obsessed with, you know, can I. just say you just brought it back to. someone being killed suddenly. Yeah. I. bet you're just bitter there's no video. of it. You know, I went to school for. marketing. I have a degree, a BS degree. in marketing and of course, you know, a. doctor, honorary doctorate, uh, humane. letters. But, um, uh, what was I going to say? I don't. know. It was a crackerjack opening. You. know, I have a. doctor. Oh, wow. Okay. The giggles are. boiling. The giggles are on the boil. The the turtles are on the fire.

Can I help you in any way? Yes. Do you. have a size seven? Do you you don't I. think at your core you have no respect. for me. I really do. I think at your. core you have no respect for me. I'm. just amazed. Um yeah, we've talked about. this. You can't believe Will you listen. to me? I'm not even going in that. direction. Just Can you stop at the. shirt? You just took the you took the. You took the sweatshirt. You don't want. to see any more of my anymore. I should. have worn now. I've been there. Okay,

just leave it alone. You're amaz What's. that? You're amazed at what? No, I'm. just amazed at how happy you are. And. now you're telling me that you don't cry. and um so maybe inside you're not. But. you know, it's such a relief. I think. all of us will agree that it's a You. just buried that connecting with your. team. Maybe inside you're not. Isn't it. great to cry? Yes. And it's such a. release and it makes you less stressed. and opens you up, I think, to a happier. life. And it shows that you're human and. you have emotions. It's just human with. an H. It's not human with a Y. Do you.

know what T told me once? Tignaro. Yeah. She said, "You don't pronounce your H's. when you say words, you know. It's like, you know, um, humor. It's humor." Yeah. And then I thought that's pretty right. because when I laugh, I don't pronounce. my hes either. It's just. a It is. It is. It is. Yeah. Okay. But you're right. I. don't. But how would you say herb? I'd. say it's an herb. Uhhuh. No h. I. wouldn't pronounce the h. I wouldn't say.

herb is herb is a guy. So herb is a guy. Uh do you think there's any herbs that. grow herbs? Do you want do you want to succeed? Do. do you want to succeed? Do you want to. succeed on the podcast? Do you want Do. you want Do you want to have a. successful Do you want to have a. successful podcast? Are there any herbs. that grow herbs? Have you, sir, at long last? No shame.

Are there any herbs that that are eaten. by a guy named Herb? Well, I don't know what to do. I don't. know what to do. And I think, you know, I was going to come in here today. thinking maybe now we could have a. sensible discussion. We have a last. time. I defy anyone. And again, I I've. probably said this before. I defy anyone. out there to dissect what's been said uh. in this marathon bibble babble session. and find anything that connects to. anything else. Did you say bibble. babble? I said bibble babble. I like the. dibble and I like the bibble babble. I.

do both of those. What? You know me so. well. You what? You're not paying. attention. You I feel like I'm trying to have a. conversation and I liken having a. conversation with you. I liken it to I'm. jogging and you're in a flatbed truck. just ahead of me throwing orange cones. at my feet trying to trip me and make me. stumble. Have you done this before? Yes, I've done this before. I have. I have. Why am I so confused that you can't. carry out a conversation without going.

into a bit about hipple bibble or. whatever it is. Okay, I ask I ask my friends the Wack. Pack and you don't have to agree with. me, but you analyze what's happening. because well, some Eduardo, what do you. think's happening here? Is he slipping. or what? Is Conan slipping? What am I am. I the someone I'm asking anyone to. intervene? Who would you believe more? A. guy who cries and feels his emotions or. a guy that keeps it in and just gets. angry at every consistent. Yeah, there. you go. Thank you. I appreciate that. So, wait. So, so but what but Eduardo.

when you it's very unique when I talk to. Kevin and I don't understand what's. happening and I would love someone to. explain it to me. Okay. First of all, he's on your team. No, I'm not on my. team. Eduardo is not a fan. Not a fan. Okay. Nobody in this room. I I was asked. this question last time. Yes. And I'm. asking you again. And I described it. then. It happens often, doesn't it? I. think as a beautiful train wreck. This feels like the person jumping off. the bridge without the uh Yes. Why is.

there Why does there have to be an. analogy about everything? Well, because. why can't you say what it is? I think. Eduardo just said I don't need an. analogy. I understand English. This is your humor. This is freeall. This is freef fall and it's madness. And. uh and yet there will be advertisers. that will be connected to this. You guys. are a hall of mirrors. You're folding. You're folding in on each other. Yes. Yes. Sorry for the analogy. It's the. snake eating its tail. It's the snake. eating its tail. Can we go without one.

analogy for It's a snake throwing up its. own tail is what it is. It's a snake. throwing up in a hall of mirrors. That's. what this is. And I tell you, sir, I. tell you, sir, I I'm the control in this. experiment. I talked to many people and. it goes very well. You come in and it. always uh the washing machine explodes. and suds go flying everywhere. So, you. are the problem. I mean, that can't be. proven until he talks to a bunch of. other people. You know, who's going to. want to do that? It's just This is. subjective. It's.

subjective. I can't reach. I can't. reach.