Conan Comes In Hot | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien. Needs a Friend. That's going in. Oh man, I'm I'm making just a little different. mouth noises today. I came in hot. I. think there are days where I come in hot. and today I am nuclear fueled Conan. Um had a good workout this morning. Oh. Yep, lifted a lot of What Thank you very. much. You don't just get a body like. mine, you need to really abuse yourself. Sona, good to see you. Nice to see you, too. You did come in. hot cuz we were laughing and you're. like, "No one can laugh without me.". When I hear laughter in a room I'm not.

in, I suspect fraud. You know, it's like a company that. couldn't possibly make that It just. doesn't seem right. I'm always like, "What? Laughter and I'm not there?". This must be some Someone's Something. just is fundamentally wrong. So, I came. rushing in here. Yeah. Uh and then I guess Gourley was. chuckling everybody. I was just telling them something that. you had said earlier that was so funny. Ah, there we go. There we go. All right, well, that makes sense. I'm satisfied.

My name is Joey Killer. WHAT? LAUGHTER? I must go crush it. Make it about me. I just noticed uh. Sona's wedding ring. Yeah. Yeah, I was just about to hit on you. No, uh. No, I was going to say it was your hand. was out and it was tilted and it's very. nice. Quite a rock. I have My fingers got skinnier. Mhm. So, I have this plastic coil around it.

and I've had it there for. just go to a jeweler and they can. quickly resize it? Well, cuz I think I'm going to it's. going to go back up, I'm sure, I think. So, I'm just leaving it there. So, it's. going to just get bigger and eventually. the whole ring's just going to be a. plastic coil, I think. Yeah. Why don't you just lose that? I'll. hold on to the actual diamond and you. can just wear a plastic coil. No. You'll get it back at one point. want to do that. Well, anyway, I just noticed it and it's. uh it's nice. Thank you. I don't think I ever looked at really. before. Thank you. I don't actually don't even think I look.

at you very often. Oh, that's nice to know. I I just I'm just very so focused on me. and what I'm doing. Yeah. Yeah. And so, I don't Oh, Gorley. That's me. This is what I look like. Oh my god. You usually have a mirror in front of. both of us, just so you never have to. actually look at us. employee at at Team Coco wear an oval. mirror on their face. It's a two-way mirror, so they can see. through it, but you just see yourself. No, I actually am insisting on a one-way. mirror, so they crash into things. and have get into terrible car. accidents. Yeah. It's a mess around here of just.

broken glass. just smashing into the wall all the. time, but I'm happy cuz I just see me, me, me. I'm an opera singer warming up. me, me, me, me, me. come in hot. You're singing a lot, too. Yeah, I sure am, cuz I've got a. beautiful voice. usually implies like come in hot, you're. grumpy, you're mad, you've got something. to prove. No, you came in kind of just. you're just living, you're buzzing. You know what? I'm happy. Uh life is. good. Uh I I'm happy to be here at the. podcast. I'm with some of my favorite. people. Hold on, let me put on my. glasses.

Oh, I didn't see who was in the. room. Oh, okay. No, I thought I was with Jeff Goldblum. and the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. And. then it turns out it's Squirrely and So, I I apologize. I wish Jeff Goldblum was here. And the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. He'd. be like, "I'm just was at the theater. What the fuck?". And I'm like, "Gabe, You wrote the Gettysburg Address and you. just said, "What the fuck?". I know. Every Christmas season it's the same. thing. Demands for more podcast episode comes. in, and we've got to meet those demands. We've got to mail out those podcasts.

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If you need a package pick up, you can. easily schedule it through your. Stamps.com dashboard. And if you sell. products online, Stamps.com seamlessly. connects with every major marketplace. and shopping cart. Get your business. ready for the holiday rush. Get started. with Stamps.com today. Sign up at. Stamps.com/conan for a special offer. that includes a 4-week trial plus free. postage and a free digital scale. No. long-term commitments or contracts. Just. go to Stamps.com/conan. I've told you that uh sketch I always. wanted to write where. Oh, yeah. I mentioned on the air this Yeah.

Lincoln is in heaven and he's walking. around and he sees a group having a. really good time and he. goes up to the group cuz they're all. laughing real hard and John Wilkes Booth. is at the center. And everyone's Lincoln's like, "What the. is he doing up here in heaven?" And. they're like, "You know what? He was. really good to his mom and da da da da. da. That night with you was just He was. having an off night.". a one-off. I was like, "Yeah, he was having an off. night." And Lincoln's really mad and. they're like, "Come on, Abe." And and. then Booth is like, "You know, I. Mr. Lincoln, I'm I'm sorry. I don't know. what I was thinking, but I am a big. fan.".

He goes to shake Lincoln's hand and. Lincoln swats it out of the way. Like, "I'm not going to shake your hand." And. then everyone else, Aristotle, Gandhi, everyone else is like, "Whoa, Abe, not. cool.". I had this idea like 25 years ago and I. never wrote it. happen because you've mentioned it a few. times. I feel like for your birthday. What? Yeah. How does it end? it have a button? They get into a fight and Booth shoots. Lincoln again. Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. he goes to second heaven. Yeah. But everyone says like, "You know, Abe, you were kind of being a dick." And. Abe's uh so uh Abe gets sent down to.

hell. Um I don't know. I don't know how. it ends, but. uh. This has just been spitballed. You've. never written it? I've I've talked with I've talked about. it a lot. I have so many sketches in my. head that I never wrote because they. just seemed too weird and arbitrary. Uh. but uh that one. always amused me. I want to know what something is too. weird for you cuz have you seen some of. the you put on TV? I'm What a nice way to put it. You know,

I'm going to make sure if I ever if I. ever get a major award for my work in. comedy, I'm going to have Sona give it. to me and she'll do the speech up front. Here they give the award to Conan. O'Brien after 90 years in comedy is Sona. Movsesian. You know, I don't know much about Conan. but have you seen some of the he. did? I meant that in a loving way. you did. In an admiring way. I just I'm surprised. somebody. ring anymore. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. That'll show you. Oh, no. Yeah, I think it's poorly fitted to your.

finger. There, that'll show you.