Conan Chats With An "Effortlessly Cool" Fan | Conan O’Brien Needs a Fan

So tell us a little bit about your life, Connor. I'm curious, what kind of life have you had? You seem like a happy, well adjusted fellow, did you... You also seem really cool to me. Yeah, you do. You seem real cool. Like effortlessly cool. Very Canadian. I try to be. Yeah. I don't think I am. I'm a tall, lanky guy, like you Conan. I uh, so, I've had the same life growing up, ridiculed for just being a lanky, tall giant. Excuse me, I was never ridiculed. for that. (laughter). I don't know. I'm sorry, praised. Connor, I don't, Connor, you just went way out on a limb.

(laughing). Well Conan, like you, I've been mocked and ridiculed my entire life. (laughs). I have the same shape face as you, Conan. And (laughs) to this day, I'm a virgin. People threw toast. at me too (laughs). Yeah, exactly. Just making, (wheezing) just guessing the weirdest shit. Yeah. Like you Conan, my urine stream is. (laughing). weak, and bubbly. Oh, come on. (laughs). So anyway, how tall are you?

I'm 6' 7". Oh my God. Fuck! What? Jeez! Oh my god, 6' 7"? Oh, wow. Wow. See, I wouldn't have picked. that up at all. Yeah, too tall. No, no, no. I, uh, well, mm, possibly. It depends. (Sona laughing). You probably have to live in a special home. that's been designed for you. Did you, did you have an architect come in. and change the doorways for you? Because I top out at 6'4", which means I can still live. in a regular house. Oh. Huh. Um, although when I was in your house, Gourley, there were times where I felt, uh, like, when I'd go use the powder room,

I think I could, I could tear my way. into the other part of the house. with just my bare hands. That little bathroom is the tiniest bathroom. Yeah. And I put my hands on either side-. Yeah. of my body, and I thought I could just push. (laughing) Yes. and the whole house would collapse. Yeah. We literally have to put a corner sink. and a corner toilet in there, 'cause there's not room. for standard versions of those. (Sona sighs) Right, right. Yeah. No, I, I did note that, and thought, "I gotta bring it up. on the podcast." Like an airplane bathroom. You're welcome in the normal bathroom, if you'd like. (laughs). No, no, no. I liked it in there. (laughs) Okay. I felt, it was like one of those weighted blankets.

(laughs). I felt very comfortable lying in there. I just laid down on the floor. and curled up in the fetal position in your bathroom. There's no room. And you went in there thinking about. just destroying his house? (laughs). Yeah. Oh, I did. I thought, I was there. and it's very beautiful and very nice. But there's, you know, when you're a larger guy. and you're in a smaller house, you do fantasize about tearing it apart. (laughs) What? Piece by piece. That did not occur to me. Does it, do you do that, Connor? Yeah. Really? (Sona laughs). Oh yeah. I recently moved into a house,

and I tore out walls. and I got to customize it. to make it a little bit bigger for me. You guys have, like-. And just sort of, things like doorways, little higher. You have like, a kaiju complex. I wanted, like, the counters to be higher. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what that means. Yeah. Like a Godzilla, or... Oh, a Godzilla. Just say Godzilla. Giants. Well, no, kaiju, it encompasses all great monsters. Mothra. Gidra. Well, no, I don't have a Gidra. or a Mothra complex. I do have a Godzilla complex. Oh, god. So you shouldn't say, you know, you should, you should specify. How am I to know what kind of kaiju complex you have?

I'd rather go-. Look at me! Do I look like a Mothra? (laughing). Do I look like a Mothra to you? You really want me to answer that? Yes I do! Oh my God. Okay, uh. Listen. I'm sorry, Connor. It's so embarrassing when we welcome you. into our very small podcast home, and you at 6'7" come in and we start fighting, (Matt laughs). and you are forced to go. into our podcast powder room. and tear it apart. I feel terrible for you and for everyone involved. (laughs). Um. But you seem like a happy, well adjusted fellow.

You're 6'7". I think that's a great height. Yeah. Any taller and- Too tall. It's too tall. You think 6"7" is too tall? Yeah. I can't, uh, I can't get jeans, or-. Oh, right. Oh. T-shirts, a little easier. You can get 'em on the internet. But, um, I tried looking up that place. that Goldblum was talking about, where he suggested you go. and get your jeans in L.A. Yeah. Schaeffer Garment Hotel. It's like, the something hotel? Schaeffer Garment Hotel. Yeah. Those are some Hollywood prices though. Oh. Oh. Well they weren't, I mean, first of all, they seemed reasonable to me.

And, uh. Well they did! You're different, you have a different scale. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think so. I think $35,000 for a pair of jeans is very reasonable. (laughing). And I put them in, I put them in the back of my Testarossa, drove to my helicopter, and came right home. And so, my life is just like yours, Connor. All of Conan's jeans are insured. Yeah. Yeah. (Connor laughs). Lloyd's of London insures each ass cheek of my jeans. (laughing). Connor, I'm kind of fascinated with you. You're 6'7" and you look that effortlessly cool.

Seeing you walk down the street must just make people's day. Um, ugh. I don't, yeah, I guess so. People like to stare, it's a little, I get used to it. Aw. Yeah, I don't... I don't mean just 'cause you're tall. But you just, you're, you present. a really pleasing (laughs) package. What? Oh my god. Matt! I'm just saying, I'm in love with you Connor! Why don't you get a room? What is happening? I've just fallen for him. Why don't you get a room, with a corner toilet. and a corner sink? (laughter). What the? Jesus! Look at this guy, he's a lovable scoundrel. He's got cleft chin,

fine head of Kurt Russell hair. You do look like a Disney prince, a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. You do. Okay. (Connor laughs). I don't, I've been looking at the bookcase behind him, so I guess something's wrong with me? (laughing). (laughs) Why? I'm just saying, it's... I always go to the books, you know, like, "Oh, I, so, those look interesting. (laughter). Oh, he's got Vonnegut. He's got 'Slaughterhouse-five. (laughing). He's got 'Breakfast of Champions. I wonder if he has that in another room.". (laughter).