Conan Bought Himself A Christmas Present | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

Hey, I got a question for you guys. What. do you think of my jacket? I like your. jacket. Okay, let me tell you something. Here's the story of this jacket. What if. I said I didn't like it? Yeah, I hate. it. I've had people say that before. Not. about this jacket, but I've had people. be very frank with me. No, you haven't. Yeah. Other people, if I'm wearing. something, they tell me they don't like. it. This is a jacket. I saw this jacket. It was not even uh wasn't that much. money. I saw it. It's a nice color of. brown corduroy. Let me describe it for. those of you who can't see it right now. It's a very rich It's got a sheen. It's. got a sheen to it. A nap, I believe they. call it. What's that? A nap. You can rub.

it one way and it'll go darken and then. rub it the other way. It'll go light. Wow. You keep talking. I'll take a nap. It's. like. and I also want to say this. I've never. said this before, but you're absolutely. right about it. Yeah. Uh anyway, this is. a jacket that it was like the day before. Christmas and I saw this jacket in a. store and I tried it on. I thought. that's a nice jacket. So, I just bought. it and I drove home and I handed it to.

my wife and said, "Just give this to me. tomorrow." And she said, "Okay." And she. said, "Should I wrap it?" And I went, "You don't even have to wrap it." And I. thought, "Is that do do either of you. two relate to that? Is that something. that happens? I've been married now 22. years. Is that what happens?" Tac and I. send each other exactly what we want and. we don't even take it out of the box. that it comes in. Like I send him the. link exactly for My son did this as a.

kid. He was really into tech stuff and. he would send us like here are the nine. things. This is the XC755G. uh whatever something board motherboard. Uh just click here and it will be. delivered. He took all the joy out of. just click here. What is joy? You know. you're getting something exactly, you. know, you're getting exactly what you. want. So, so I didn't used to do that, but I think it's just because I'm now in.

a different stage of life where I'll see. something I'm not splurging. It's a It's. a corduroy jacket. It's perfectly nice. I would like to wear that, hand it to my. wife. She I think she kept it in the. bag. I handed it to her. She might have. tit any surprise. No, no, no. I do want. some surprise. But how often does a. surprise go wrong? All the time. It goes. wrong all the time in a gift from your. spouse. It can't go that wrong. Yes, it. can. Unless she's got diamonds on it. I.

don't want it. Oh, wow. My wife is. giving the worst. Hello, Jeha Gabbor. joining us today on the podcast. Jesus. What? What? What kind of awful person. are? This is not the person I hired to. be my assistant. Unless it's got. diamonds on it. You've fame has changed. you. No, it has. I'm being unless it's. like nice jewelry that marks a very. special occasion. I think that's what I. was trying to say. That's no better. No. No. No, it is. But it's like, you know, a 10 year anniversary or maybe gets me.

whatever. I don't know. But if it's like. clothes, uh, like you want to get the. clothes yourself. I just know exactly. what I want. And I don't think other. people, including Tac, really know that. And I think rather than winging it, here's something I wanted and here it. is. Get it for me and I'm Do you think. in any way that emasculates Tac? No. Because does it take away Are you taking. his penis away? No. What? Then you have. to get a new penis. Then you know what. to ask for. If you If you get your penis.

from doing that, then you're I took your. penis away when I bought you this gift. What is it? A penis. I sold my vagina. You don't deserve a You don't deserve a. penis. I sold my vagina to get you this. penis. I sold my penis to buy you a. vagina. Oh, Henry's worst story. So, you you get stuff for Amanda and. she's like, "Yay, she does not do that." Okay. I bet you. she's a very good actress. Yeah. Yeah, she is. No, but when you get her her. ninth look, it's a chess set made of.

cork. Um, they only made a few of these in the. 30s. A horrible gift. You know, does she. does she does she go, "Oh my god, this. is amazing." Or do you ever see a single. tear? Floats. The one time we got in a. fight because I bought her an espresso. machine and she thought it was too. extravagant and she got mad at me. She. got mad at you cuz you spent too much. money. Yeah, maybe I shouldn't tell this. on the bike. No, it's okay. And you're. keeping it in cuz you know that's that's. fine. And you know what? We love your.

wife and I I take her side. How But it. was really expensive. It wasn't I mean. as as espresso machines go, it's a. midlevel espresso machine. Okay. Well, but maybe maybe tight times were tight. Maybe she knew that we were fine. Did. she like espresso? Yes. And she has. since come to love that machine, but we. got in a fight that day cuz she was I. can't tell the story. Appliance like that. I'll be like, "What? Where? Where do we put it?" Do.

you know what I mean? That was her big. issue. Limited real estate in the. kitchen and it's this machine that you. got me. It's like a burden kind of. But. And also, you know, it's You know what? I'm going to say this. If I get anything. for the kitchen, I know I'm in very. dangerous territory because my wife my. wife runs the kitchen and and if I walk. in the door and I'm like, "Look, it's a. giant juicer that only does. pineapples and it's made of quartz.".

Um, you know, we got a problem. We have. to take part of the sink out for it to. fit. But if you got pineapples, we got. pineapple. juice. Then I know we've got a problem. It runs on gasoline. Oldfashioned gasoline that's been badly. stored. Yeah, I know. I've done that. I've I've purchased a a few things for. the kitchen and um I noticed that she.

was very pleasant about it at the time. and then it went away. It got exchanged. for something else. Our Christmas has. like slightly decreased where now since. we've had a kid too, we kind of are just. like three gifts for each other and. that's it. And it, you know, one's like. little or something. We What? You know, we don't we just get three gifts. What. is it? The Great Depression. What are you talking about? That's too. No, three gifts. What? No. Kids are. supposed to be There should be endless. No, not for the kid. Oh, wait. How many.

kids? How what are you talking? How many. presents do you get kids? Kids have to. be flooded with presents. Now, first of all, I'm not saying. expensive presents, but I'm sorry. On. the holidays when kids come down, little. kids, it has to be so many presents. It's mindboggling. And I don't care. I. know people are going to say, "Well, this is terrible. What if people people. can't afford it?" Steal them if you have. to. Kids have to be just spending hours. I agree. The room has to be filled with. crumpled paper when the when the day is. over. They had a lot but like also the.

point a piece not for the two for from. Amanda we get each other we limited our. this is her idea look I'm not a I want. to do this is awful but I each and I bet. one of them is a walnut okay here's your. walnut I agree I I like to go big for. Christmas I've I've been uh tailored. back a lot I like to just chill I don't. like things I don't want new purses is I. don't want new jackets. Oh, I know that.

you've been wearing your Dr. Za special. for like 20 years now. She's got this jacket that's got weird I. know, but I mean for God's sake, I'll. pay for it. Get a jacket. I get. things. I like them. I use them all the. time. I know, but that's too much. I. mean, it's really Looks like you slept. in a bus station or something. For God's. sake. Slept in a bus station. I bet you. have. The question is with who?

By myself. By yourself, eh? So, you were. just having a I like trying to still do. the sexy lyricing talk long after the. sexy part's over. So, you were just by. yourself having a nap, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Wearing a bunky jacket by. yourself. The uh Listen, I uh you've. wore that jacket too long. We're not. going to get stuck on that. But um get a. new jacket. It's a leather jacket. It's. nice and broken in it. Whatever. You.

have jackets that you've worn forever, too. Don't. I have more than one jacket? So, can I. You guys just shut up. I do have jackets. I've had for a long. time, but that you But I have more I. have more than one. More than one. More. than one. If someone stole your jacket, you're freeze to death. That's the only. jacket you have. Oh, yeah. In Los. Angeles. I don't like purses and I don't. like jackets. the death of Los Angeles. It's It gets pretty cold at night. It. gets cold at night. Into the 40s, some.

say. All right, listen. We I won that. one. Maybe I should do a gift exchange. this year. Oh, I'd be so afraid to buy. her a gift. She'd get mad at me. I won't. like it. Oh my god. I'll email you. exactly what I want. I'm not interested. in buying a gift for someone who's. forcing me. A gift should be about what. another person would think would make. you happy. No. What? I know. Well, that. would make you guys I'm sending him. something I know I want and when he. gives it to me, I'll I'll know I'll like. it. But what if it's something you. didn't see? Like I'll go shopping.

sometime for Amanda or I'm out and I see. Yeah. And you get an espresso machine. and the whole thing blows up in your. face. I know. I know. I mean, no, that. was uh you took a chance. It didn't go. well. I am gunshy since then. Exactly. I. buy my mom and dad stuff all the time, and my mom has returned 100% of the. presents I have given her. I bought your. dad a new mustache and he wears it every. day. Okay. You know what? I won't. It's. more real than the one he's wearing. Won't stand for it. Ridiculous. Won't. stand for it. What are you going to do. about it? Yeah. What are you going to.

do? What are you going to storm out? I'm. going to stand here. Sit here upset. about it. Oh, so you stand for it. Is. you're literally just going to sit down? I'm going to sit down. All I have to do when I do an impression. of her dad is put a finger under my. nose. And there he is. There's Gil right. there. That's not Gil. Gil's cooler than. you are. Gil's so much cooler than you. are. You have to have the thing and you. have to be cooler and you can't. You. just did it. You just put the finger. under your nose to be your dad. Put this. wrap. All right, we're gonna wrap it up. Anyway, find out from your spouse about.

presents. Don't buy that espresso. machine. It's too expensive. Never wear. the same leather jacket for more than 30. years in a row. These are our. suggestions. Good night.