Charlie Sheen (FULL EPISODE) | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

Hi, my name is uh [music]. Charlie Sheen. [laughter]. >> I love that you I blew my Very few. people struggle with their [laughter]. own name. Well, no. How are you? How are. you, Charlie? >> I came up with the with the fill in with. the in the middle of my name. [laughter]. >> Yeah, >> I'm using all of this. I don't care what. you say. I hope so. >> Uh, hi, my name is Charlie Sheen and I. feel enchanted. >> a. >> about being Conan O'Brien's friend. >> I love that. kind of. Yeah, I like that.

a lot. >> I haven't used that word since. childhood. >> Yeah. [music]. >> Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs. a Friend podcast that gives life. meaning. Sona Obscessian joining me. along with Matt Gorley. >> Hi. >> And Sona, I understand you've got a big. gig coming up. Do you want to talk about. it? >> Yeah, we were talking about a podcast. recording we have coming up that I have. to miss cuz I'm going to. >> this episode. Oh, just kidding. Oh, I'm. missing this episode. You're missing.

this guest. >> Oh, so you won't see me or hear me in in. Charlie Sheen's episode because they. know it's Charlie Sheen. Um, I'm pulling. a cone and I'm like, do they know? >> I know. [laughter]. >> I'm sorry. I'm from the old school of. show business where you voila. This is. the new world of magic where they tell. you how the trick works and then do it. >> That your tonight didn't your late show. start with it going and tonight's guests. are. >> I [laughter] know. I know. Nothing was. ever s a surprise. I know. >> Oh my god. >> Don't reveal how ignorant I am of my own.

[laughter] life. >> I don't even know who I am at this. point. >> So, but anyway, I'm going to try and. clean My job is to clean up this this. brambled brush. >> Wow. >> Yeah. You are going to miss the. interview today because you have to go. on a big gig. Tell us what the gig is. >> I'm doing a speaking engagement at a. convention for assistance. [laughter]. Why are you laughing so hard? I was your. assistant for 12 years. >> You were terrible. [laughter].

>> How dare you? >> Why is there also a convention for. assistance? >> Because there's it's an important thing. to bring us all together. We are the. most powerful people in the. entertainment. >> I get that. But this is going to make me. sound really ignorant probably to a. bunch of assistants. >> Speaking she's the [laughter] one. >> Stop laughing. >> I'll be an assistant. >> I KEPT YOU ALIVE FOR 12 YEARS. I [laughter] KEPT YOU ALIVE. I KEPT. >> THIS IS THE GREATEST thing I've ever. heard. >> I got you to where you needed to be. I I.

uh. >> I forgot what else I did. I I'm pretty. sure like I. >> Welcome everybody to the convention of. non-killing murderers. [laughter]. And our speaker today is Genangghis. Khan. [laughter]. Gangas, talk about your life of not. killing and not murdering no violence. >> These are my people. These are my people. >> Now, are you there? Is it kind of ironic. that you're going? People know you wrote. a book called World's Worst Assistant.

>> Yeah. You wrote the forward for it. >> I know. Yeah. >> You laugh. You laugh at you. You did. this. You laugh at you. >> You enabled this. You laugh you. >> Is this a preview of your speech? [laughter]. >> Hey, number one rule of being assistant. You laugh you. You laugh you. >> What are you talking about? You're. incoherent. What I'm saying is you. enabled me for 12 years. >> Okay. Sure. All right. >> What do you mean sure? >> I mean, yes, I agree with you. >> I don't think you ever reprimanded me.

You just made fun of me all the time. >> Right. But what I'm saying is given that. all of that is true. You still should. not be speaking to thousands of. assistants and putting your imprint on. their minds. >> How I am I am uh a success story. [laughter]. in spite of yourself. [gasps]. >> That's true. But I I assisted a. high-profile individual for a very long. time. >> Very true. Very true. >> Um and I got you to where you needed to. be.

>> Yeah. What do you mean? Uh yeah, I did. >> Good debating skill. >> What do you mean? And the winner was I was a champion. I. speech I didn't debate. She didn't. debate cuz debate involves logic and. doing a little reading ahead of time. She was really good at going, "OH, ME. NO, YOU. >> YOU [laughter] look at you. You look at. you. >> You look at you. You laugh. >> Funny me. Funny you. >> You laugh. You and you've No, you did. this. You did this. You enabled this.". >> This champion once again is son of sessy.

and sassy and sassy and sassy. >> I came into this uh ambitious and then. you started making fun of me very early. on. You said it sounded like I was. arguing with Dracula when I was talking. to my grandma on the phone. It was your. mother and it did sound like our game. You were going blah blah and it did. sound like uh you know Dracula the. Auctioneer and I I just commented on. that and I thought was a very sensitive. way. >> Are you proud of what you've done to me? >> Yes. I think it's really funny. >> Is it is it funny for you? >> Yes. >> Cuz you in you you funny you.

>> Well, you win that one, too. God, you're. good. [laughter]. >> What's the subject of your speech going. to be? >> It's not It's a Q&A. I don't even have. to have a prepared speech. I'm just. going to have conversation with someone. which is nice. It's called the EA Mafia. and you know they're like. >> it's a it's going to be in Palm Springs. It's going to be lovely. >> Okay, I'm going to say this at the risk. of ruining all our good fun. Uh you are. were a remarkable assistant and no. listen I I will say this um on some of.

the specifics a disaster. But the. important thing is uh Sona would have. jumped in front of a bullet for me. She would have. She's incred incredibly. loyal. I. >> Why would you have done that? >> I don't know. >> So she could keep the job [laughter]. >> to protect my paycheck. I don't know. >> She'd be like, "Well, I'm shot now, so. that's double overtime. >> for the length of my recovery.". >> Can I say something, though? You. compliment David Hopping way more than. you've ever complimented me. >> Oh my. >> You always tell him he's doing a good.

job. >> Yeah. >> I taught him everything he knows. >> I don't think that's true. >> It's true. No, he he took over and you. were like, "Good luck to you. You do. you." And then you jumped out a window. and landed in a big hummus truck. >> Oh, that sounds good. I want some of. that. That actually sounds uh No, I'm. going to finish my nice thing. Incredibly loyal. Uh very street smart, savvy, really funny, and we had a blast. I had a blast working with you. I think.

95% of the time we were doing bits. Mhm. >> Um, but yeah, helped keep me sane or in. or kept me insane. I don't know which, but uh, Sona, I love you and I owe you. everything. >> You too. I'm serious, too. I really miss. working with you on a daily basis. >> But back to how terrible you were at the. No, we were so close to a nice moment. Come on. Come on. >> My favorite quote is the We did a remote. that you can look up on YouTube, I'm. sure, or our webs, whatever. Uh, I don't. know how things work. [laughter].

>> What? >> YouTube. >> What's that? YouTube. It should be. >> YouTube's still a thing. Okay. >> Um on the tube, you can look it up, but. uh when you and I worked with someone, >> the HR rep. >> The HR rep. >> Blair, I think, right? >> Yeah. >> Oh, that's right. Her name was Blair. >> And you said, and you weren't making a. joke. You say, "I just think I have a. mental block against assisting him." And. I said, "You are my assistant.". >> And it was such a great moment because I. think that's true. But it also in a. great way worked. >> It did work. It worked. And we're pals.

for life. >> We are pals for life. And I'm a. barnacle. >> Also, I'm proud of you. I'm I'm really. glad that you're doing this. And I think. those people are lucky to have you. >> Oh my god. Thanks. >> Like a piece of What are you getting. paid? >> Yeah. >> Can I get a little something something? >> You can't get it. No, that's mine. Don't. do Don't do that. >> I just want to wet my beak. I want to. wet my beak. >> No, don't do that. Oh my god. Not do. Stop doing that. >> Ew. >> I love wet my beak. Godfather. >> I don't like the wet my beak sound. effects. Those are awful. Awful. my. guest today. We got to get into it.

>> Yeah. >> I mean, there's no time to screw around. [laughter]. >> Maybe he wants to wet his beef. >> Well, that's all we've been doing is. screwing around. Just so we're clear. >> I know. That is actually the job. definition. >> That is what we do. >> Quit screwing around. We got to get back. to screwing around. My guest today is an. actor whose new memoir, The Book of. Sheen, is out now. He also has a. two-part Netflix documentary titled aka. Charlie Sheen. Very excited he's here. today. Charlie Sheen, welcome.

>> [music]. >> I want to make it clear to uh to all my. listeners. I met you uh years and years. ago. You came on I didn't realize you. came on my show eight times. >> That's amazing. >> You came on the show a lot. And the. first time I met you, my immediate. reaction was and this is long before Two. and a Half Men. >> Okay. >> My my reaction was, damn, this guy is. really funny. >> Oh, right on. And I remember clicking. with you right away just about how uh. funny you are, which enraged me cuz.

[laughter] um because uh you were born. with that head and I was born with this. head. [laughter] That infuriated me that. you were so quick and uh verbally. dextrous. And thank you. I think a a uh. a part of your comedic style that people. know so well uh came to know so well in. Two and a Half Men was you um your. delivery is so dry. You have the. features and of course the career of a. leading man actor. Thank you. >> But you [laughter].

you are so funny in ways that could. surprise because it's not what I. expected coming out of you and I think. that served you really well over the. years. Wow. >> And and now speak to that. >> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. >> How do you what what can I. >> Where do you go from there? >> What can I say that you didn't? >> Well, um you could say, "No, no, no, you're wrong, Conan. It is you.". >> Right. Right. There's that. >> Who is the true master? Of course, you. you haven't done that. >> It was you, though. Um when I discovered.

that that we had like instantly we had a. comedic rapport. Yes. >> And we understood each other's rhythms. and timing and sensibilities. Yes. Yes. >> And that that's that doesn't us that's. that's rare. >> No, it was it was so much fun. I. remembered, you know, there was always, >> as you know, you you uh you generate all. kinds of stories. And at the time there. was some story about how you liked feet, you know, ladies feet. And so, um, our. producer, >> we did it with Andy. >> Yeah. And our producer, Frank Smiley,

said, uh, and, you know, we thought. we'll pitch you this thing. And and I I. thought, well, he you know, Charlie. Sheen might just get mad and punch us. It was all about us showing you. different feet and you rating them, right? And um you were like, "Of course, yes, let's do [laughter] that." And then. you did it and you were really funny. And to me, it's um oh, he's really fun. to play with. Uh this this Charlie Sheen. fellow. Um and there's so many ways that. I uh first of all, a lot of.

similarities. You and I were when you. talk about who really partied hard in. the 80s and 90s, it's always Charlie. Sheen, Conan O'Brien. >> Well, yeah. [laughter] I mean, and and. not always in that order. >> Not always in that order. >> No, no, I'm sure he didn't party and you. didn't just clean up. >> Yeah. No, no. [laughter] I. >> And and Charlie will bear this out, but. there was not a moment in his hard. living uh times when I wasn't right. across the room. It was me, Nick Cage, and you. >> and I was. >> and Shan Pan and Shan. And I remembered.

you guys sometimes saying, "Can slow. down." [laughter]. >> Yeah, but that didn't matter if you. never listened to us. [laughter]. >> But if you're going to set. [laughter]. >> because man, I. >> Oh, thank you. That's mine. Nice. You. know, um Yeah. That's why when I watch. the documentary, read the book, I'm. like, "Hey, where am I, man?" I was. there often leading the way. Well, as. ligious as you've been in the past, [laughter] uh, we were like, let's just.

let's just disappear him. >> and we did. And I I thought you'd see. that as a as a compliment. >> You know, I my uh my wife very. appreciative, my kids, so glad not to be. mentioned. Um, it's so funny cuz you've. always made me uh really laugh and you. have this you've had this unusual career. where you know these. these films, these iconic films uh that. you were that you were in and then um.

where you're playing it's a heavy roles. and leading man stuff and you know Oscar. winning uh uh you know platoon and. you're in Wall Street and and then you. have this we're talking about it. Uh uh. major league and the hot shots where you. got to show this other muscle that most. guys in your position didn't wouldn't. have had that kind of flexibility. >> Sure. >> And you probably knew all along, well, I.

could do that if I had to. Or did you. not know? Well, um I I I knew that um. the the the Hot Shots movies I I going. into it um I was going to be borrowing. >> from the late great Leslie Nielson. Yes. >> And I just I kind of cuz I saw those. films as a child. >> uh or as a young teenager like with A. Millio in Westwood on a Friday night. >> watching Airplane. It was the first time.

when I thought, "Oh my gosh, someone. else gets my sense of humor." And when I. saw that, I thought, "Oh yes, this is. what it is." You don't your eyes don't. twinkle. >> when you say it. >> You have to have the 10,000yard stare. that you have when you're everything you. brought to, you know, any of their your serious. movies, you now bring to this. But what. you're saying and doing is is quite. absurd. >> Right. So I I have to kill those jokes.

like I killed Sergeant Barnes. >> Yes. [laughter]. >> I just came up with that. >> And then and then I had another. >> Very good. >> Thank you. Thank you. I just that that's. a fresh one for me. >> Okay. Okay. >> And then I just realized that you're. talking with us too. [laughter]. >> I don't mean that demeaningly. You don't. have part of the you're part of the. triangle. >> You know what? We discourage him as much. as possible. >> Okay. Okay. cuz I don't want to be like. he's the only one that matters. You. really don't have to. >> No, Charlie show.

>> Uh, not really. >> Did you Are you filling in for someone. today? [laughter]. >> I've never met this guy before in my. life. >> No, no, he was here to uh fix the HVAC. >> That's right. [laughter]. >> And we said he said, "This chair is. comfortable." I said, "Well, have a. seat.". >> And I said, "This is true. I did see. Platoon when I was in sixth grade. Six. times in the theater.". >> In sixth grade. >> Eighth. Eighth grade. >> Middle school. >> Okay. >> And I was obsessed with that movie. You. saw it how many times? >> Six times a year. >> Six times. I know. >> So, you have I mean, that's a lot of. money in Charlie's pocket that came. directly from. >> I'm here to get it back. Um, [laughter].

>> you were dissatisfied, but you couldn't. stop seeing it. >> That was a lot of money in Oliver's. pocket. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Oh, okay. >> I didn't have any ownership back then, you know. >> Of course. Right. Um, but one of the. things that, uh, you know, between your. your book and the documentary, both of. which I've found fascinating. >> Thank One of the things that I connected. to on a personal level was because we're. the same vintage. I grew up in Came of.

Age in the ' 70s as a kid. >> Sure. >> And in the documentary, you're showing a. lot of uh footage from your Super Eight. films that you're making. And I. recognize the jeans. I recognize the. shirts, the jackets. I also recognized. this idea that there were no helicopter. parents back then. >> We you just did whatever you did all day. long with your friends. >> Sure. >> Um my parents never knew what I was up. to or what I was doing.

>> In my case, not much. >> In your case, a lot. But I was looking. at those um looking at your Super Eight. films and I was thinking, "Yeah, I. remember this part of my life that. resonates with me so powerfully. killing. time with your friends. Only in your. case, your friends are um Sean Penn. >> and his brother Chris. >> Chris, your brother Amelio. You're. you're I mean, it's a who's who of very. famous actors that you're clowning.

around with. Only you're doing the same. that I was doing in Brooklyn, Massachusetts with my brothers, only we. didn't go on to become iconic movie. legends. [laughter]. You guys did. Well, um, yeah, and, um, there's two people that are missing from. the dock only cuz they joined the party. late and the the choice in the dock to. focus on that that specific, >> you know, capture of time. Um, and that.

was Rob and Chad Low. >> Yeah. >> So, they were also like right down the. street. It was like, what was in the. water? >> Yeah. >> What was in that point doom water? >> Was Rob moisturizing back then as a. child? [laughter]. >> Uh, he must have been. He must have. been. Yeah, >> it just that guy kills me. He'll be my. face rotting like a pumpkin. >> [laughter]. >> uh in the hot late October sun. Um and. I've I've had talks with him and I. remember I was talking to him once and. he reached into his pocket and it came.

out and there was like a little packet. in there and he was like squeak squeak. >> Is that true? Did that happen? I think. it [laughter] happened. I think it. happened. But he, you know, some. internal clock went off that must. moisturize. But yes, he I don't know if. he'll outlive me, but his face will. outlive me [laughter] by 120 years. >> All of us. All of us. Yeah. >> But um one of the things that was. fascinating about watching the doc was. you're making these very innocent films. with your friends. Then you go off. because your dad, Martin Sheen, is going. to shoot Apocalypse Now. You and and.

your family join him. And when you come. home from Apocalypse Now, spending a. long time in the Philippines, >> your films change in tone and you. actually have some of the props from. Apocalypse Now, like a severed hand. You. brought stuff back and suddenly all of. the films go from haha, oops, we fell. down. Oops, I went boom, yay, hippie. Woo. And then you come back from. shooting that and it's people shooting.

themselves, shooting each other, [laughter]. hands flying, body parts. >> Yeah. >> Your URA completely changed. >> It did. It did. Um Yeah. I I I guess the. um. the violence, the the the pure. spectacle, um the sheer amount of blood. and body parts. >> Yeah. on Apocalypse like just like a you. know like on a Tuesday. Yeah. >> You know um just seeing that and and.

>> but also starting to like get get in. touch with um. you know not not with the emotional. aspects of FX makeup and gore and all. that but with the technical filmic. >> versions of it, you know, and and then. wanting so badly to to to emulate that. and bring that home. And then basically. uh it it it went from the stuff you. talked about to our prop department just. being uh guns and blanks and blood.

>> That was it. >> Every I mean it's really funny to see. that change. Some of that's age, but. also. >> you were just on the set of Apocalypse. Now for a long time, right? >> There's skulls everywhere. >> There's skulls everywhere. [laughter]. The heads you're you're you're looking. at the heads. I mean, there's a lot. >> This is you at catering. Yeah. just. [laughter]. skulls and bodies and just here for a. taco. >> Yeah. >> Um you had these friends who were. becoming famous and then you had your. brother Emilio becomes very famous, huge.

star and then there's the whole Brat. Pack phenomenon. all those guys and. gals. And I remembered I came out to LA. in ' 85 and I have a very clear memory. of working at Sunset Gower Studios as a. 22-year-old walking up the street to uh. make a deposit at the Wells Fargo on on. Sunset in Hollywood and all of a sudden. I saw this Jeep roar open Jeep roar past.

and it was Emlio and Dei and they were. all and they were all going yay and. [laughter] they went by me and I. remember thinking oh Boy, if only I. could be in that jeep. >> That's how I talk back then. Of course, [laughter] surgery. >> We all did. >> Your early movies were like, I'm going. to go to Wall Street. [laughter]. I'm. >> so glad they did ADR and fixed that. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> But you are around that. And I was.

thinking, oh, right. You'd have been. around the rap, but no one knows who you. are yet. And what did that feel like? >> It felt awful. Yeah, >> it felt um I felt like uh I was just, you know, taking up the rear. I felt. like a valet on certain nights. Um even. when I was in the mix, >> like we'd start at the Hard Rock Cafe. and then we'd like, you know, wherever. the night took us to all the VIP lounges. and all the special places where you'd, >> you know, try to hang out with the. Untouchables, you know, not not the. band, like, you know, actual Right. Yeah. super famous people. Um, but I.

never um it it felt the the the worst. was when. all the attention from all all the. pretty girls, you know, and and they. would all go home with them, you know, and I would just go home and it was and. I just but it was in I think there's a. line in the book that uh my my my inner. bear had been poked and it and it lit a. fire you could see from the. moon, you know. um. >> you knew on some level because had you.

been a different person, you might have. said, "Well, gee, I'd like to be in. their situation, but that's not really. my thing." It almost seems to me like. you had this subconscious knowledge. I'm. supposed to be. one of the people that everybody knows. >> Well, that or at least be part of um all. of the perks, you know? I didn't give a. about acting. I mean, I was looking. at that just like, [laughter]. you know, if I can just get. >> you give a about acting. >> No, if I could just get a job that.

everybody like, you know, lines up to go. see, >> then that's how my nights will end. [laughter]. >> I mean, seriously, that's kind of was. the inspiration. >> You are honest to a fault. >> Thank you. Thank you. [laughter] Um, >> I only got into comedy to do good works, >> right? I know. >> In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. [laughter] Um, I'm not familiar with. these perks you speak of. Now, if you. excuse me, I have nine Bentleys duct. taped together. I'm going to drive home.

There's so much. I really recommend the. documentary because there's so much in. it. Yes, there's all these harrowing. tales that you have. There are moments where I as your star. rises and you're you're self-medicating. and you're you're uh getting into all. kinds of stuff where I'm like, "Okay,

that's not me.". >> Like there's a scene where you're. actually being very valiant. You're. trying to help a woman out who's in a. bad situation. She's in a house with. kind of a violent guy. Right. Right. Right. And you say, "Well, I. >> I went to the I knew she was in there. with this tough guy, so I went out to my. trunk of my car and popped it open and I. took out my And you know the exact make? >> I do. I do. >> make model of the gun.". >> Yeah. It was an HK P7 M13. >> Okay. Not the way I go. I go for a Glock. M8944B [laughter].

carry the three. >> They were sold out of those. >> the [laughter] day I bought the HK. Yeah. >> Okay. No, no, no. That's right. I think. of it. I was as a ladies handgun, but. anyway, [laughter]. it shoots bubbles. What do you What do. you want? Um, no, you you uh you. >> Yeah. Why was I so specific about that? In the dock. >> In the dock, it stood out to me like you. rattle off the name of the gun and you. like chamber around and put it in your. waist belt. And I'm like, "Okay, you're. an actor. What are you doing?".

>> Um, >> well, you know, rolling through a. dangerous neighborhood, >> right? So, I figured I should pack a. little heat. But it's in the trunk of. your car, right? But it's [laughter]. But it's. >> Could you Could you pardon me for a. minute, sir? I'll take care of you. If. you don't mind, I'll step out of the. car. Get my in the trunk if you don't. mind. >> Yeah. Wait. All my my my wallet's in the. trunk. [laughter] Hey, buddy. Um, >> no. But it still came in handy. It did.

That was a tough guy moment, though. That doesn't really speak to like who I. claim to be or or want to be, but it did. feel dangerous enough um that I needed. to be armed. >> Yes. >> In that moment in that in that creepy. place to help her out, you know. I just. I'm really glad I didn't have to shoot. anybody. >> Yeah. >> Right. Yeah. >> Cuz that's when it gets. >> You need confirmation on that? >> I mean, it gets. >> uh No, I say it would be good if you. shot up the place. >> Okay. >> Um. >> but that's when it gets messy. >> Yes. >> You know. >> Yeah.

Not and not like our Super Eight movies. >> Right. Right. This is the real thing. >> Is that Is this disallowed? Are we like. not. >> uh I don't see any issue. I have no. issue with it at all. >> Just nicotine. >> Yeah. No issue at all. I mean, I I'm. fine with it. >> Vape away. Okay. >> But no, I was going to say he was doing. something else since we're It's audio. >> Yeah. He uh he said, "Is this okay?" And. he started removing his clothes. >> Can you imagine? [laughter]. >> He just pulled out a Heckler and. 79B. >> Is this okay if I fire upon Conan?

>> [laughter]. >> Um, >> amazing. >> Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, I don't have no. problem with it. Um, >> but but back to that night. Yeah, with. Sandy. >> I'm not doing this in any particular. order. It's just as things come to me. And one of the things that comes to me. is. uh which is makes me sad, but you are uh. very evocative of another very handsome, very talented, extremely verbally funny. person that I got to know a little bit, not super well, but Matthew Perry.

>> Oh wow. And um he came on my show just. as friends was hitting and he got there. early and I remembered us just chatting. in in 30 Rock in the hallway. >> taking a little walk and laughing and. [laughter]. you know and. >> um I just thought damn this guy's so as. you are verbally dextrous funny um. >> and then I find out that you guys. actually became.

friendly uh before he passed away and. that which makes complete sense to me. >> Sure. Sure. I I I wish that I had stayed. in in better touch with him. >> or just stayed more available or his his. his orbit was a. >> was a hard one to to to penetrate, you. know, um or or or his his ecosystem or. whatever. Um, which isn't unsurprising. because, uh, you know, when people need. to be insulated to to to to hide or.

protect the things that they're that. they're doing. Yeah. >> Um, the less people getting past the. velvet rope, the better, you know. >> Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I just. >> But but I read his book. >> and I read it in a day and I just I. started it and I was like, "Okay, I. don't want to do anything else until I. finish this." And then I wanted to reach. out to him. >> and then you know kids and stuff in life. and I was like ah call him tomorrow. Ah. call him next week. But I wanted to just. congratulate him and have a laugh about. how I was included in his book. Yeah.

>> that there's one line where he says. Charlie Sheen. I'm going to be just as. famous one day. You know he was like. using me like I used Ailio and Rob and. dad and the rest of them, you know. Um, and I never got to reach out and and. first of all thank him for that and and. congratulate him on the book. And then. he I think died a month after I read it. >> Yeah. >> You know. >> Yeah. >> It was that it was there there was a. moment um in my childhood there's a uh. there was a coffee house in Malibu and.

it sits like it it was there for years. and they finally tore it down like the. get rid of everything cool, right? >> And um. >> uh I think I was 11 or 12. I had decided. that Jaws was the greatest film ever. made, right? And I saw it in the movie. theater uh a hundred times, like in a. movie theater because it played in. theaters for a year or longer. So. anyway, in the middle of that, probably. 40 showings. into that, right? Dad drops me off at. that diner and I go and sit down. He. said, "I'll park the car and I'll join.

you in a minute." Right? And so he's I'm. waiting for him and a person sits down. next to me and I turn and look at him. and it's Roy Shider. >> Oh wow. >> It's Chief Brody. >> Yeah. >> And I'm frozen. >> I don't know what to do. I literally. don't I we don't There's no languages. available. There's no I mean I'm 12, you. know. >> Yeah. >> And and then he was there just briefly. Dad took a while with the car. They knew. each other from New York. Mhm. >> That introduction could have been like, "Oh, hey, by the way, it's my son.".

Right? >> He leaves. Dad shows up and I say, "Hief. Brody was just here, right?" And he. says, "Ah, it's too bad I know him. I. could have introduced you." So then that. So I never I never got to tell him that, right? And I was always like, Jesus, if. I ever saw, you know, if if I ever see. him out in the world, then, you know, I. I'll say, "Wow, as a child in this. thing." But during Two and a Half, Holland Taylor, who played my mom, she. knew him and so she got that message to.

him. >> Oh, that's good. >> Yeah. Before before he passed, you know, but it was another one of those things. It was with Matthew that it was kind of. it was it it reminded me of the Shider. missed opportunity. Yeah. >> Yeah. that I I mean, Matthew wrote very. honestly about his experiences and must. have. >> rang a lot of bells with you about those. demons and what it's like. >> Oh, yeah. >> To have that kind of uh to be wrestling. with that level of addiction.

>> Yes. and and his story I think took us. more through um a lot of the. you know um. just u a lot of the stuff that that he. dealt with specifically um with rehabs. and with detoxes and with that whole. world that tends to um cycle people. You. know what I'm saying? That that that. sort of the business model is to rely on. on relapse.

>> Yeah. And I'm going to get yelled at for. saying that, but there's that that's. it's really true, you know, and then. they they. >> can probably happen insidiously where it. starts out one way, but then. [clears throat] things can become a. business and then you want to return. customers sometimes. And I I mean, I'm. not I'm I'm asking, I'm not telling. because I don't know. >> Uh yes. Yes, that that that that is. accurate. >> Okay. Well, the lawsuit's on you then. >> It's fine. Once again, >> added to the stack. [laughter]. There's actually seven stacks behind you.

of lawsuits, >> but I could relate to to a lot of that. and just being at the mercy of people. all the time and just giving away giving. up your power and giving up your agency. and giving up just the the the the light. that makes you special, you know, and it. just that just being dimmed, >> you know. Um, plus I never did the. freaking drug that that he you know, >> was it ketamine? Yeah. Yeah. Um. >> the other thing that I'm I'm grateful.

that you know I was never um involved uh. my heavy strawberry use u never included. fentanyl. >> Yeah. >> So that was there's a good chance you. wouldn't be here if it. >> Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Um, my ex-wife. Brooke was engaged to a guy who had a. nice business, you know, a former. athlete, young dude, good-looking, um, but couldn't stop getting loaded and. wound up in rehab again and scored dope, some cocaine in rehab and went into the.

bathroom and did a couple big lines and. died on his way to the floor. So, it's. like and and that was fentanyl. >> Yeah. You know, and I just think about. my gosh, how many situation was was I in. where the you know, we couldn't like. order the fentanyl test strips on Amazon. back then, right? I mean, it was just. >> as you can now you're saying. [laughter]. >> Well, yeah, that's right. I guess I. thought you might order fentanyl on. Amazon. >> Oh, no. The test strips. >> Oh, damn it. For a second, I was like,

well, hold on. My phone's right here. >> We're wrapping early. [laughter]. >> Uh, yeah, I misheard you. Um [laughter]. but uh it's not like today when you can. just get fentanyl on Amazon. Um there's. another lawsuit, but not me again. You. [laughter]. >> um there was a great quote where you. said that that you and Matthew Perry uh. you had a friend of yours that described. you guys as veterans of the unspeakable. >> Yeah. >> And that's a Downey quote.

>> Is it Jim Downey? >> No. Uh Robert Downey Jr. >> Oh my god. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a Downy quote. I think most people say Downey quote and. I go to Jim Downey comedy writer. >> That's awesome. >> And you go to that other Downey who no. one knows. >> Maybe one day another really funny. >> very funny verbally extrous guy. Brilliant actor. >> and a lovely man. >> Yeah. >> But it's I gave him a new nickname in my. book. I call him Bobby DJ. >> Oh, that's pretty good. Right. >> I like Bobby DJ. Rolls right off the.

tongue. Right. Yeah. Bobby DJ. >> Well, okay. I don't have one of those. Um [laughter] I have a I'm not going to. say guilty pleasure because usually when. you say, "Oh, I I I watch these comedies. on reruns, but I'm I'm friendly with uh. one of your directors on Two and a Half. Men, Jaime Widows.". >> Oh, okay. >> Who's a lovely guy? >> One of the great people ever. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> He's a lovely guy. He's hilariously. funny. A lot of you will know him like, "Wait a minute, how do I know that?" You. know, great TV director, but uh Animal.

House. Yeah, >> he's in Animal House. He's Hoover, I. believe. >> Oh, in Animal House, you know, uh, now. hold on a second, Dean. You know, you. sit down, smart, you know, that smart. guy. >> and he tells great stories from that. set. >> He has great stories about great. stories. I mean, I got to get him on. here to tell those great stories. Um, but his price is high. >> So, wait. >> Anyway, he he talks about [laughter] You. should be getting paid. >> hundreds [clears throat] of thousands of. dollars. >> Interesting. Wow. They skipped that. part. >> Yeah, just [laughter].

skip it. >> Be paid. Um, Two and a Half Men. Anytime. that show is on, I'll watch it. >> Seriously? >> Yeah. Because your character in that is. funny in a way because I'm such a comedy. nerd. I'm like, this is a little. different. I'm trying to think of who. else has been funny in this way. It. feels very original to me to be playing. that rhythm. uh on a sitcom. It just felt. unique to me. You feel like there's some. precedence for it?

>> Well, yeah. I was I was I was borrowing. um or honoring uh parts of it uh from. Ted Dansen, >> right? You know, >> from Cheers. Yeah. >> But it's darker. >> It is darker. It had to be somewhat. likable. Of course, that didn't seem to. trouble your character at all, being. likable, you know, like he's there's you. still like your character, >> right? >> Um but. >> you're not afraid to say the most. horrendous things, >> right? because I I I I had confidence. that that that whatever that they that.

that you know that my character would. wind up doing that they he would. ultimately always be forgiven. I've. watched the blocking on that show. Um I. think you burn four calories an episode. [laughter]. You're always very comfortably dressed, right? >> Uh and you're always usually sitting one. leg crossed over the other [laughter] wi. with a beer. Uh, and then uh other. people can melt have complete meltdowns. or John can have a complete meltdown. >> You're watching you've got some great.

jokes. >> Then cut to you in bed with an. incredibly different beautiful woman. every week [laughter]. and you're like, "Wait a minute. Did you. win some kind of contest?" Must have. >> Must [laughter] have. Yes. Yeah. No, that that's that's an aspect to it that. nobody complained about. >> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. >> The actors or the audience. Um. >> Yeah. And interestingly enough, um I I I. was either married or in some. relationship. No, it was only two. relationships during the entirety of Two.

and a Half. I was either with Denise. married and then that went bad and then. Brooke married and then that went bad. So, um anybody you see me dating on the. show was just on the show. >> Mhm. >> Which kind of sucked. [laughter]. I love that you're [clears throat]. acting like I know it's hard to believe, but I didn't actually sleep with that. woman in that scene. That's usually the. case. Yeah, this is going to be hard for. you to believe, but I've interviewed. thousands and thousands of women over 30. years of television, and guess what? I.

didn't sleep with any of them. >> Seriously? [laughter] Wow. How is that. how is that possible? >> Thanks, pal. Sorry. [laughter]. Okay, be Arthur. Sorry. >> Um, >> wow. Wow. You brought B into it. >> I had to. I had to. >> You mentioned that you watch it whenever. it's on, right? Do you know who else. does? >> My parents. >> My parents will will stop what they're. doing. >> and if they finished dinner or they're. about then and two and a half is on, they'll just sit down.

>> and they'll just take it in. And then. I'll show up at the house the next day, right? They'll be like, "Hey, we watched. this episode where so and so does this. and then the kid did that and then so. what why did John do that other thing?". And I'm like, "Mom, uh, I I I I don't I. I can't answer that question. I don't. remember the episode." You know what I'm. saying? They want specific details. Oh, I know. You know what I'm saying? And. and I and I and I'm like, "Okay, give me. a little bit of backstory." And all the. back stories are identical. >> You know what I'm saying? Uh, it's it's.

[laughter] the week you threw John out. of the house. I'm like, "I need I'm like. I NEED MORE. [laughter]. I need I need more, Mom." Uh you're. you're slightly uh yeah unpleasant. [laughter]. >> You're skeptical that something John's. trying to do is going to work out, >> right? And you're drunk in the scene. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. >> You immediately throw one woman over for. another. >> What happened in that episode? [laughter]. >> Um I really like watching you and John.

crier in scenes together. There's a. really nice. >> um real chemistry there. And I know I. was happy because I'm friendly with John. and I know that you guys went through. stuff and um that could not have been. easy for John. >> Sure. >> I was very happy that he participated. >> I was too because. >> I was too. Yeah. >> It felt like uh um there was a bit of a. let's put that behind us, let's come. together, which I thought was.

>> for the most part there was Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, you say for the. most part who's who he's. >> because there's a couple moments in the. in the dock where he's still kind of. hacking on me a little bit, you know, and then he's questioning like if he. should be in the dock because, you know, is it going to be another Sheen uh. experience that starts great and. finishes in the toilet, you know? >> Right. Right. >> So, I proved him wrong this time. [laughter]. >> Have you though? Cuz I many people. consider coming on this. >> podcast.

>> to be a a rock bottom. [laughter]. >> That's a good point. And by the way, I. went through all of your experiences. both in the book and the dock. This is. your rock bottom. >> Okay. Okay. >> This beats you going to your the trunk. of your car for a [laughter]. am I 15 33. >> 38 3. >> 23. What is it? 36 or whatever. I there. was a different time when you watch 60s. movies. That joke about women's. measurements all the time that people. did back then. What is it? She's 24. I. forget how. >> 36. 20 or 36. >> Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.

>> And you're like what? You watch it now. and it's just a standard thing. Like. she's 36, you know, 24, 36. [laughter] You're like, you're listing. the me her bust and hip measurements. What? Um I never I've never understood. it. Uh clearly, uh. >> there doesn't need to be math in that. moment. You [laughter] know, >> you're taking what should be a beautiful. moment and reducing it to. >> geometry [laughter].

>> two ratios. >> The ratio of hip to breast is quite. pleasing. It's the golden mean. The. Greeks discussed. >> Pythagorean theorem. [laughter]. >> Um, your Amelio is not in and your dad's. not in. Is that uh do you uh I think you. mentioned at one point you wish they. were in the dock, but it they maybe felt. like they don't want to speak to all of. this. I don't know. >> They watched a um a rough cut of the. first episode at my house um with the.

director, Andrew Renzy. Ramon was there. Mom was there. >> and and and they loved it. They were so. entertained. They were laughing. They. were just like they were so engaged. And. then they both said you, you know, dad. said, "I'm already in this thing. I'm. already represented in this thing, and I. and I like. >> the way I look in that better than. today." He says, he said, "You don't. want an actor thing.". >> He said, "You don't want the old version. of me, you know." And I'm like, "Well, kind of." And well, you know, it's.

that's the authentic moment right now. And so, >> so he said, "No, no, no. I I I can't.". And then Ailio, they both decided that. that or came to a realization that they. it was my story and and even though. they're they're you know part of my life. and obviously the whole journey um they. didn't want to get in the way of my. story. They didn't want to um. >> in any way uh put it through their own. filters or or in in in ways that might.

misrepresent some of the stuff how it. actually happened. You know, they they. didn't want to get in the way. But of. course, the press jumps on it and. they're like, "They're not in it. What's. the backstory? What's the feud?" You. know, um, and there there's like none. >> Well, I uh I I Your dad has a very. special place in my heart cuz early on. >> when I was doing my show in '93 94 and. people were saying, "What is this? Who. is this guy? This comedy is aggressively. strange." We had a bit where it's very.

hard to explain, but it was stay in your. seat theater where we would. >> It's already funny. It's already funny. >> Well, we would have we we needed a. someone with gravitas um who would I. think it was a medical drama and we. needed an actor who a guest who would be. the medical drama. What would happen is. we had other actors with green screen um. sort of felt over their faces moving to. different positions and then when their. line came up, we would take someone from. the audience, literally a person who had.

been waiting in line outside Rockfire. Center 20 minutes ago, their face would. suddenly be put on the actor's bodies. They're just sitting in their seat. [laughter] Do you remember? I don't know. if anyone's has seen this, but you they. would project it. It's early early. aggressively weird stuff. And your dad. said he'd do it. And so I mean, we never. thought Martin Sheen would do this. And. >> he'd be the superimposed face. >> No, no, he he was the actual guy. He's. Martin Sheen as the doctor. And then.

he'd turn to another doctor and go, "What's the diagnosis?" And we'd be just. a, you know, a body there with the green. sock on. And then someone from the. audience who's just sitting in their. seat who's from the Bronx, their face. would be there doing a scene and they. would just [laughter] we'd hold up a Q. card and they'd say three cc's of Paloma. sone and [laughter]. your dad would go like great and then. one more thing I'm in love with you, you. know, and [laughter] your dad just went. >> Did he commit to it the whole thing? >> He didn't. I mean, of course he did.

>> He committed to it a thousand%. That's. amazing. And um I he was lovely to me. and we had a great conversation and uh. I've always just had a. >> that is. >> just a I mean who does that especially. with his. >> stature you know who this new guy. something that's bound to fail. Let's do. it. Um. >> sign me up. >> Yeah. Exactly. So uh well I'm I'm glad. that you guys are and you talk about. this. I didn't realize that Alio was the.

first choice for that Oliver Stone. wanted for platoon. >> Interesting, right? Yeah. Um. >> interesting isn't the word. >> I know. I know. It's. >> bananas. [laughter]. >> Let's go with interesting. >> I know. Okay. >> Let's not use a fruit. Um but no, it I. mean, first of all, stuff between. siblings and brothers especially, I. think, can be and I shouldn't say that, sisters, too. But stuff between brothers. is. extremely loaded. Then you're both.

saying, "Let's do this acting thing.". You're, you know, Amelio's first having. success. Then there's this, you know, what turns. out to be a very important film, very. important big director, and Alio is. their first choice. He's going to do it, >> right? And then something happens, the project. gets delayed, and then they come around. and they say, "Well, Charlie, uh, Oliver. wants to see you for it now.". >> Yeah. >> How heavy is that?

>> Um, it's man, it's it's a trip. Um, Emilio and I like never had that moment. where we like sat down and processed it. or even gave it the the you know, it. never existed between us that we felt. that we needed to, >> you know, um, >> because it wasn't like that that didn't. work out for him and then he did. nothing. Yeah. >> You know, he he he did a ton of cool. in films that people are still. talking about to this day, you know. Yeah.

>> Um he um he I don't mean to speak for. him, but he told me that he he didn't. love the script. >> Mhm. >> He didn't love the script. And then um. if you ever have him on, there's a story. with him and Tom Cruz. >> like jogging on the beach. That's. already a great image, isn't it? Um slow. motion, the whole thing. [laughter]. >> Um. >> and they're talking about the script of. Platoon. They're kind of comparing notes. and Ailio's like, "What about this. thing? What about when he, you know, then when the bunny character pees in.

the in the dead VC's face and calls him. this thing, you know, and like what. about all that? And Tom's like, "Yeah, man. That's pretty gnarly." And and so. it uh I don't. >> How about we us losing the Vietnam War? [laughter]. >> That's a drag. >> That part we should win it. >> Yeah. But so I don't I don't think Ailio. really felt like he missed out on a. fantastic opportunity, which is. interesting until he saw it and was. like, "Oh shit." But I think he sees.

that um. >> it it it's a it just would have been a. slightly different film with him than it. was with me because that is I think that. is the only part that we've we've ever. uh what's the cross swords on? No, that's not right. Um, what is the thing. the image in my head now? >> No changing that. >> Um, it's the only uh role that that that. ever uh. >> were your penises touched. >> Our penis is [laughter] touched. Yes. Yes. >> I'm trying to help you. Am I helping. >> at the premiere? Um, [laughter].

so what the hell? Um, that's not in the dock, is it? [laughter]. Jesus. I wanted to save something good for. this, you know. >> [laughter]. >> Sorry, Alio. Now I've done it. We were. never up for the same stuff. >> Well, this is another story that's. fascinating. You say you give a verbal. commitment or you sign a contract to do. Grizzly 2 revenge, >> right? It was originally called Grizzly.

2: The Predator. >> Uhhuh. >> Just for anybody, any cophiles out there. that [laughter] think I'm violating the, you know, this the true spirit of the. Grizzly franchise, you Well, I'm just. going to tell you [laughter]. >> I'm be smurchching the great. >> Matt Gorly saw Grizzly True Revenge in. the theater 75 times. >> I'll thank you to respect the sanctity. [laughter] of my favorite film series. >> regardless of whether you were in it. >> I move to dismiss. Yeah. [laughter]. >> Motion denied.

>> But you know, you this is the crazy. story. So, you've said yes, I'll do. Grizzly 2 Revenge, which by the way um. also uh stars uh George Clooney and um. Laura Laura Durn. So, there a lot of. great talent came out of Grizzly. And. the bear has gone on to now the uh Yeah, >> he's got that whole that whole honey. company. [laughter]. >> That's stupid. That was stupid. He's the. Paul Newman of.

He's the Paul Newman of honey. >> Yeah. Um, [laughter]. all profits go to me. Uh, but you know, you say you're going to do that and then. you get this call that they want you to. be the star of the Karate Kid. >> That happened. Yes. >> And take it. >> Uh, so I uh I think it was on a Friday. and um and I went and I I I auditioned. with um with Abson. Correct. We have a. research team here. Yeah. With John. Abson. Yeah. And I thought the the uh.

audition was a disaster, right? >> And it was the scene where he wakes up. from the beating of the bullies, right? >> And he wakes up um to his to to this, you know, this mystical sensei, right? >> And so to Pat Marita. Yeah. >> And then um. >> the dialogue was kind of stilted and. didn't really have any kind of flow. >> and like it did in that scene, but it's. not supposed to. That's kind of their. first encounter, isn't it? >> Yes. Yeah. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> So, this should be a little tentative. >> Exactly.

>> Yeah. And I thought I tanked it and and. I on the drive home, I was like, "All. right, let's just park that and just do. better next time, you know." And I get. to Glennice Liberty's apartment in Santa. Monica. She was my very first agent, right? Who actually got her agent's. license because I decided that like I. was going to become an actor. Wow. >> You know, she was a friend of my mom's, but she worked for Pollock and Redford. and, you know, she knew her way around. And so, um, we we would usually have. like a chalk talk at the end of the day. of auditions and stuff like that. And. and she was on the street like looking.

for me and I thought somebody had died. And I pull up and she like runs right up. to me and and and she's like crying and. and babbling and and just so excited. I. couldn't believe it. And I'm like, "Slow. down. Slow down. Slow down. What's going. on?" And she said, "They they they they. need you in in karate training on. Monday. >> You got the part.". >> I'm like, "Well, hold on. Today's. Friday, so and she's like, "Yes, you you. you're going to be The Karate Kid." It's. like the biggest film in town, right?

>> And I'm like, "Uh, okay, but I have to. um I got the thing with the bear. I got. I got the predator thing.". >> And where is that shooting? That. shooting in Budapest. >> Budapest. Yeah. And not like when it's. cool to be in Budapest, you know. Um. >> and so she said, "Well, I'm sure. there's, you know, I'm sure there's a. way to get you out of that and and and. you know, what should I tell him?" And I. said, I just tell him that maybe if we. could just have the weekend, you know. >> So I took the weekend, went to dad, and. I said, "Hey, I got this amazing. opportunity, like a career-making move, this giant movie that I think is,

>> you know, it's it's got hit written all. over it, you know, it's a game changer.". And he says, and I said, "Um, so help me. out. Give give me like a cool way to to. to get out of the grizzly thing.". >> And he didn't even he didn't even. >> offer anything in in in that regard. He. he just said, "Well, so you gave them. your word, right?" And I'm like, "The. grizzly people.". >> Yeah. I'm like, "Well, yeah, but it's a. thing with the bear in Budapest is it's. it's totally forgettable. Anyone can get. eaten by a bear, Dad." Right. [laughter]. And uh he's like he's like,

>> "I narrowly beat out a side of ham.". [laughter]. >> Exactly. And he said, "It's not about that. It's. not about that. It's about that, you. know, um, one big film, um, is in this. business is not going to carry you as. far as, you know, being known as a as as. a man of their word. So, I had to sell that to Glennice, you. know, and she was like, "Have you lost.

your mind?" And then after a while, she. agreed with Pop. And so, >> now, how was it when Karate Kid comes. out and it's huge? >> Um, was that must have stung a little. bit. >> A lot of it. Did you go and. >> Did you go and see it in the theater. with the bear? [laughter]. >> I picture both of you. >> Oh, you up. >> It's [laughter] just got a big paw. >> Exactly. >> You're taking more than your share. You're You're splitting up. >> They offered me the part of Miyagi.

[laughter]. >> He could have The bear could have been. Miyagi. This is great. The bear was. supposed to be Miyagi. You were supposed. to be Ralph Machio. The whole thing's. >> Oh my god. But he went with, "Oh, I. everyone just sees me as the thing that. chases people and eats me cuz I'm a. bear." Um, but anyway, >> I saw in the movie theater like on a. Friday night. Um, and it was. interesting. It was um. it was a strange mashup of of intense. jealousy, right, and missed opportunity,

all that stuff. But, um, add to that. relief. >> There was a relief. And I don't know how. to explain what that was about. I think. Ralph was so freaking good in that. movie, right? >> That I was looking at ways like would I. have how would I have done that. differently? How would I have done that. at all? >> And I was kind of like, okay, I think I. kind of dodged a bullet here. I don't. think they would have filmed the whole. movie with me. I think they would have.

been like, uh, okay, cool. No, you gave. it a hell of an effort, kid. But, you. know. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. But also um classic thing that you. get when you're you know I've had that. experience at my age now where I can. look back the things that I missed out. on. >> that I was convinced. were essential. >> right. >> to me moving ahead. that devastated me at the time. >> Sure. >> Now I see them and I go well they don't. fit this arc that I have at all.

>> Interesting. >> They just don't. And um you could not if. I got in a time machine. On my way here. today, there was some street work, so I. had to pass my old apartment on Cochran. I had a $380 a month apartment. 1986. Um I lived on the first floor way in the. back. I looked out on an alley and I. passed that apartment. I always slow. down if I'm in that neighborhood and. look at that apartment. >> Wow. because it was going to sound.

weird, but I almost feel like there's. there's a ghost of me from 1985 that's I. used to sit on the steps of those. apartment of that apartment complex and. think like how am I going to make this. thing work? I don't know. And so every. now and then I'm like I'm on my way to. go talk to Charlie Sheen and I've had a. pretty good run but I'll stop and sort. of honor that moment at that apartment. at that time. And if you if I could talk. to that guy now and say trust me the gig.

that you where it's between you and. another guy to go work be a writer. performer for Letterman and you didn't. get it and they only hire like one. person every 3 years and that you're not. going to be on that boat. I still think that kid would have said. you're out of your mind. That was my. chance and it's over. I'm not going to. make it. Right. And I've had like nine. of those, [laughter] you know, and but. you but then you look at it later on and. you go, "No, you weren't supposed to do. karate kid. >> Wasn't supposed to happen." No. No. And.

and um. >> cuz that trajec that choice changes. other choices. So then you're not going. to get platoon. You're not going to get. >> Exactly. >> You're not going to get Wall Street. You're not going to get none of those. things happen. If you do, >> probably not. Probably not. Um, and. right, you know, following like that. amazing in theater experience with, you. know, The Karate Kid as we know it. Um, I didn't work for like eight months. after that. And then I started writing. stories about, okay, gosh, maybe they've.

maybe they've tried to blackball me. because I said no to their big, you. know, their big event, franchise film, you know. Um and then cuz um yeah it it. it just so that sort of compounded the. the the. you know the funk that that that that. left me in you know. >> and you did contemplate like I could be. a cinematographer I could be an ad like. I could get into this business in. another way if this doesn't work out. >> Sure. I was more really um because I had.

done all of those jobs um in our Super. Eight world, you know. I'm not saying I. did them well, but I had enough uh. knowledge about, you know, what what. happened on both sides of the camera, you know, and that was sort of the pitch. to my parents at the at the breakfast. table that first morning of summer. after, you know, being kicked out of. high school. >> I I kind of sold them on this thing and. it's in the book. Um, I I don't know if. it's in the dock, but I said, "Look, um,

I'm going to give the acting thing a. shot. You know, I'm just going to spend. this first summer of freedom just. auditioning and just see where that. takes me. If that doesn't work out, then. the kind of the not a big lie, but the. medium-sized lie that I told them was. that I'll uh I'll go to film school and. I'll learn how to, you know, I'll be an. editor or director or cinematographer.". and you know and and so I just wanted. them to feel like there was there was a. backup plan that that that wasn't um the.

same one that that dad had struggled. with for so long in his early years, you. know. >> Yeah. >> Um and they bought it. >> They bought it, you know. They thought, "Okay, yeah, >> he wants to be a botonist." Um. [laughter]. did uh Oh, you you also and you talk. about this, you had to sell your your. dad on changing your name. >> Yeah. >> Which was a moment. >> It was a moment. Yeah. Um and I just um.

you know, >> your original name. >> Carlos Estz, but Carlos had already been. Charlie from in throughout childhood. Okay. >> Uh because we have had an uncle Carlos, dad's brother. >> And so some of them would yell, "Hey, Carlos." and we'd both like to come in. the room and that you know we had to put. a stop to that right. >> there's only room for one Carlos and and. seniority rules in that moment. Yeah. >> So I became Charlie and then I was a ste. all the way through high school and then. when I made the change or when I decided. to to to give this thing a shot I I sat.

with him and I said I I really want to. use Sheen. It's got a bit of ring to it. You know Emilio's already using a stez. Um, and that way you've you've you've. got both book ends of your heritage uh. represented out in the world. >> You're a good salesman. >> Thank you. >> You are so good. >> I'm in the wrong business. >> Well, you and I should start an. advertising agency. >> I'd love to. >> I [laughter] would love to. Yeah. >> I just uh I just uh Yeah. And I met you. say to your dad like, "I can see it in. Lights, Pop.". >> Right. [laughter]. Exactly.

>> Charlie Sheen, you weren't wrong, you. know. But. >> I mean I I just I It was Plus It was. easier to say. >> Yeah. You know what's your name? I'm. Charlie Sheen. Even though when I walked. in here, it stumped me. Yeah. [laughter]. >> And that's like on camera. That's going. to be on like YouTube. >> Yeah, I know. I know. You're screwed. You're screwed. >> Hi, my name is. >> Well, I'm I don't want to take all your. time. I'm going to say this. Uh, first. of all, you said you wanted to hand me. something, but I don't know if you still. do. Maybe you changed your mind.

>> I know. I absolutely did not change my. mind. Um, you and I had a banter that I. think ran the ran over the course of a. couple years. >> and it was during Spin City. Remember I. was on the zone diet and I was like. super thin and like did eating nothing. but I had this thing on Friday nights. that was a treat to myself that was. called the McFlurry. Do you remember. that? >> And we had we had great runs about that. >> We had Yes. The McFlurry was important. to us. >> Yes. And then you said you you would. always say, "Well, has McDonald's. reached out and and and like offered you.

free food for life or anything great. like that?" I'm like, "No.". >> Unbelievable. Yeah. And then you would. make jokes like, "Uh, well, why are you. out here talking about McFlurry? Why. aren't you saying uh names like Porsche. and uh Ed's Diamond Store and remember. all this stuff?" Yes. Yes. So shortly. after that, this this shows up in the mail like no. joke. The guy from Arby's. >> The guy from Arby's. >> Bill Arby, [laughter] you know,

>> very soon. Um, he sent me that. >> Oh my god. >> An Arby's free food for life card. Yes. Oh, >> I don't know if we can push in on that. or, you know. Yes. This is And it's. signed on the back. Yeah. Uh, >> I've been carrying that around for like. 20 years. [laughter]. >> I love that you have this. And also. >> Yeah. And you're the reason I have it. >> You're welcome. >> You're welcome. And can I say one other. thing? This. [laughter].

>> I want to know. Do you go to Arby's and. order everything and then when they go, "Wow, so cool to meet you." Oh, and by. the way, I'm not paying [laughter]. >> and you're you're driving like the. nicest car in the world, man. You know, >> here here here's the good news. I've. never used it. >> I've never used a. >> No offense to Arby's, but you're busy. >> I love Arby's. I think Arby's it hasn't. changed in years. And and that's a good. thing. That's a good They do have the. means. But um I I just [laughter].

I I. imagined there'd be a line behind me and. just what you said and the guy brings. all the stuff and I'm like, "Well, I got. this thing." And then he's like, "Okay, well, there's some paperwork.". >> Yes. Right. And then I'm like filling. stuff out. [laughter] People are. recognizing. >> TMZ shooting it. And they're like, "Uh". And then he's like, "What? Uh, so that's. two shakes, [laughter]. three roast beans. >> like in bananas. Like in Exactly. [laughter] Who had the.

>> uh Yeah. >> Yeah. So I've never used it, but I saved. it and I don't know. I just had it all. these years. It's just hang on to it. >> It It survived the car. >> You know where that needs to go? The. trunk of your car. >> There it is. Right next to the BPX 45. >> I've got something you need to see. A. gun. >> No. You can take the honest road to free. Arby's or the dishonest [laughter] road. We can TWO WAYS. I ROB YOU OF THESE CORN BEEF sandwiches. or [laughter]. >> or I get them for free. Either way, leave it here. >> Either way, I'm leaving here with the.

meats. She Charlie, this is what I'll. say. This is one of my favorite sessions. in I mean it's up there in the Pantheon. You always since I first met you a. delight to talk to a really funny. person. Thank you. Likewise. you have. been very honest about your struggles. and the craziness and um I'm glad you. know I went downstairs and you got here. and I just I told you we hugged and I. said I'm really glad you're still here.

because um. >> you're uh we lose all these people. We. lose these beautiful people. We lose. these really funny, wonderful and people. we lose so many people. Sure. And um I'm. just uh very grateful that you're you're. still with us. And um and uh. >> go go with God. >> What the hell was that? >> I [laughter] know. >> you're very religious today. It was. powerful. >> We'll change it. Um uh.

>> go with Satan. >> Satan. There you go. >> Go with Satan. [laughter]. >> I already went I know. >> I already went with Satan. Satan's like. enough with him. [laughter]. >> He wouldn't He moved in and wouldn't. leave. >> Go with Arby's. >> Go [laughter] with Arby's. >> Go with Arby's. Charlie, uh, seriously, thank you so much for being here. It's. an honor.