Bill Burr Doesn’t Get Why People Like Golf | Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend

You did this special in Seattle. It's. funny because I almost sensed you love. to go to a place where you feel like. you're not just going to you could you. go to certain places where you're just. going to get where you know what their. attitude is and you know you're going to. get unconditional love. There's there's. obviously you have uh a lot of fans in. Seattle, but you you go there, I think, because you want to challenge some of. what Seattle may stand for right now in. some ways. Is that possible? Well, I I I.

I did what I did in Seattle because of. collectively the way they think, but. like if I did it in Utah, I would have. did it a different way, but it would. have been the same thing to kind of. like, you know, like mess with them a. little bit. But you like the push back. You enjoy it. Well, yeah. Because the. thing I can't I don't want It's the cold. shave for you. There's part of you that. wants to go someplace. And you did this. for years on my show, which was which. was, you know, why I always loved you. But you would you would have the take.

that wasn't the comfortable take that. everyone would applaud at. You would. always want to put yourself in a. situation where you people away. Yeah, that's what I'm But no, but no, but it. was hilarious and uh I think something. that's quite unusual about you. Well, the reason why I I love the city and. then that theater for me is a funny. place because everyone talks about like. Nirvana that they were the ones that. knocked off the metal bands off the top. 10 on MTV. And it was it was really I.

felt when Pearl Jam put out that video. and Eddie Veter climbed up at the Moore. Theater and dropped down into the crowd. and it was like, "Okay, so that Nirvana. thing wasn't a fluke. there's more of. these bands. And it was like the first. time that I felt like old, you know, I. was about 23. Yeah. There was no more. exciting birthdays, you know. I I you. know, 16 you get your license, 18 you're. an adult. 21 you can drink. 22 you. graduate college. This is the first kind. of like, oh, now I just go, "All right, bye. Good luck with your life. We're.

watching these people." And um it was. just funny to me to go back to that. place. um where that happened cuz it took me. forever to like that band and now I like. them. But it took me forever cuz I was. just cuz of I was just like those. guys. Wait for Pearl Jam. Yeah. What was. your beef with Pearl Jam? They knocked. Warrant off. It was so stupid. Wait, because you liked Warrant? It wasn't. that. It was It wasn't What they. represented was I wasn't young anymore.

It was the end. It was the end. Listen, I even I knew when all of those W bands. were coming in that like this is like. the end of the band. But there was also. still some like I'll tell you this. Uh. um uh what's what's their face? Um oh my. god, I'm flicking on the name here. When. they did Monkey Business, Sebastian Buck. uh Oh, Skid Row. Skid Row. Yeah, dude. Them live on SNL doing uh uh uh Monkey. Business or whatever, dude. I'll put.

that up against anybody. Sebastian Bach. and the whole band sounded. unreal. But but the the the whole. industry at that point was already. moving on sure to Grunch and it's a. killer album. So there was there was. still, you know, any genre there's going. to be like awful versions of that. But. like that was just my first experience. of like, oh wow, this is like over, you. know? So. that's kind of why I picked that theater. to do it because it was funny to me like. to come back to this place that remind. and then you know drop dead years this.

whole mortality thing that I was. thinking. Yeah. You talking about you. say there's these ages when men not. women men just drop dead and you say. it's 49 to 61. Yeah. And anything after. that you're just looking at a prolonged. illness. But you say that's the age that's this. window. He said it doesn't happen. It's. really funny. I don't want to blow your. special. I want people to watch the. years I'm in. So, I got to make sure I. go to the hot doctor and I gotta make. sure I watch what I eat, dude. And then, you know, then you can make it to that.

uh to that next level where, you know, you're that old guy at the golf club. talking about how they just took your. gallbladder out and you know, just just. talking about what ails you. I can never be that guy. I've tried so. many times to get into golf. I just. cannot find it. I tried it once and I. thought it's going to take so much work. for me to be very bad that I'm I want I. I want to put that time into maybe. getting a little better at guitar. Like.

that was my know and and nobody seems to. be enjoying it. Like you talking about. anybody goes you I was go you know first. four holes were good and I couldn't have. my driver and no it's like why. would you keep doing this and it takes. forever and it's mind-numbingly like. boring. It's just I like watching pros. do it. I like that my friends enjoy. doing it, but I would rather go do. Yeah. I'd rather go play drums, ride a. motorcycle, fly a helicopter. Like, why. wouldn't you do that as opposed to. What are you 112 yards? What do. you think? Where are you going? Where.

are you going? You going seven, eight. iron? And any they got their their. sniper scope. It's so It's so dumb. It's so. dumb. It's like all you guys need to go. home and either get divorced or work on. your marriage because there is nothing. nothing is happening here. This is it's. like a library. Like you got like the. whole it's so quiet. all of this It it's just bad. It's. just bad. and everybody with the wacky.

you either wear really wacky clothes. like you're in a Three Stooges sketch or. or or you dress hey lady or you dress. like you're you're you know Tiger Woods. adjacent or whatever. Yeah. So yeah. Um. Oh, he's a scratch golfer. That guy that. guy's a scratch golfer. Oh, is he? That's amazing. Like he's dunking. It's just like, well, this makes me. happy because I've sometimes. I'm adjacent to a lot of people that are.

uh golfers. Jeff Ross golfs a lot and. likes to talk about golfing. all the time. Yeah. No, no, no. Listen, if if if Listen, if that's what gets you. going that that's cool. I just I tried. No offense. I No, cuz it I'm I'm joking. It does look like a great hang. It does. look like a great hang. We should talk. all the time. N it should be nine holes. And I would argue maybe seven seven. holes. Like if Is there a golf slider.

thing that I could do like three holes? There are courses that offer nine holes. Yeah, you No, there's there's one uh off. the five that's a par three. There's one. down in Torrance that's a an eight an. 18hole par three. It's like that's. that's what Yeah, I'm going there with. three clubs, 48 balls, and I'm not. looking for any of them. I don't give a. And I count every stroke. Like if I if I go to tea off and I miss, I go they Oh, that's a breakfast ball. No, it isn't. It isn't. Right. It isn't. I was trying to hit the ball and I. missed. That counts.

Setting the tone. These are going to be. honest scores today. And nobody looks at. you. They all look down at their silly. pants. No, it attracts and rewards dishonest. people. A lot of contractors, real estate. agents, lawyers. You're just running a. lot of people. You're a happy man now. That's what I like. You know, your anger fuels you, dude. I. went on a motorcycle ride the other day. that was life-changing. It was. just it was fun. I was riding I I went.

up the canyons in uh I think L Kinyatta. or something like up that way and uh it. was my buddy's bike and it was a big. bike and I was you know those big. Harley's with the fairings. So. it's like scary, you know? It's like. you're on a Clydesdale. And on the way. up, I was kind of scary. But on the way. back, I kind of got the feel for it. And. I kind of, you know, did my version of. tearing through the canyon. And I I it I. was like I was euphoric for like two. days doing that. And that's like just. not something golf has never done for. me. Like I remember a couple times I've. hit good shots and people go, "That's. the shot that's going to make you come.

back." It's like no, it's not. Do you. have nighttime golfing? You know, I. would do that. Like those, you know, like those driving range things, those. with the big net that looks like fun. You know, there's chicks there, the. people drinking and stuff. Yeah, Top. Golf. That looks like like if I was. young, this is like a nightclub with. golf. That looks fun, but like to. actually just become a member, have to. vote on things like you join this this. sports HOA. Okay. Uh, we got a dentist here. Uh,

seems like a good guy. He wants to be a. member. Uh, let's see. Conan, you take him out. for a round of golf and feel him out. Feel if he's uh our kind of person that. we want in our little clubhouse here. Yeah. I don't know. Ha. It really is.