The SYSK Annual Halloween Freaky Spooktacular 2026! | STUFF YOU SHOULD KNOW

Welcome to Stuff You Should Know, a. production [music] of iHeart Radio. [music]. Hey, hey, and welcome to the podcast. I'm Josh and there's Chuck and Jerry's. here, too. And this is stuff you [music]. should know.

>> That's right. One of our. I'm speaking for me, [music] but I think. I can speak for us. One of our favorite. traditions is our annual Halloween. [music] spooky story reading. >> Speak. >> our ad free spooky story reading. >> Yeah, it's in our contract. >> And we got a couple of uh good ones this. year. One's a little longer, one's a. little shorter. I'm in ambivalent about. which we do first. Um, I think I feel like I don't know, man. I've been leaning toward uh your.

second. >> Okay, let's do it then. >> Okay. >> Cuz you picked a Stone Cold Classic, buddy with the monkeyy's paw. >> That's right. >> By WW Jacobs. Can't believe we haven't. done this. And by my like, you know, we. like to just play this fast and loose. everyone with the casting. Uh there's. mom, dad, son, uh military guy, and then there's one. other minor character at the end, right? >> Oh, yeah. I hadn't considered him. Um. yeah, we'll figure that out. But yeah,

it's pretty pretty Spartan. >> Yeah. So, uh I figure. since the military guy, maybe whoever. plays the military guy should play the. person at the end. >> Okay. And then we have uh mom, dad, and. son. >> I was thinking you should definitely be. the military guy because I can I already. have like a mild conception of what. you're going to do and it's better than. anything I could do with it. >> All right. So, I'll be him and the and. the the person at the end. I can't.

remember the character, but I I read it. >> And then do you want to be mom, dad, son? [gasps]. >> I'll be um I'll be dad. And. >> Oh, you want to be dad? That's fine. No, I wanted you to be mom. >> All right, I'll try to I'll try to be. mom. >> You do the ladies so well. >> I disagree. I think you do it better, but okay. I'll be mom and uh son and. then your dad, the military man, and the. guy at the end. >> Okay. All right. Sounds good. >> And and it's confusing at first. Um but.

Herbert is the name of the son. >> That's right. >> So when you hear Herbert, they're. talking about the son. >> who who's a a grown man, by the way. >> Yeah. He never moved out. He's a. planetismal. >> Yeah. Is that what that's called? >> Uh, remember I coined it from the. asteroid article, the ones that never. really become a full planet. >> That's right. I was like, where did I. hear that? It was two weeks ago or. whatever. >> So, who's going to read first? >> Uh, right. Because we also do the. reading. Um, well, I think Well, I don't.

know. I'll start it out and then you. just chime in there with with uh Mrs. White whenever she comes around. So, >> and the sun. >> And the sun. And I'm Mr. White. >> Yes. >> Okay. All right. I think I got. >> All right. I got to do my. [clears throat]. doggy clap. >> hand thing. >> Oh, I'm I'm nervous. >> And these are these are British people, too, right? Again. >> Yeah, unfortunately.

>> No, that makes it even better, I think. >> Nothing against the Brits. It's just. hard for me to do the British. I just. know that people are in pins and needles. waiting for what Josh Clark has in mind. for everyone this year. >> I know. And it makes me nervous. I'm. never gonna top the guy from a couple. years ago. >> Well, maybe so, because that was sort of. an all-time great character. >> All right. Well, I'm just going to do. what I can, everybody. >> Schmegle, right? >> Smegel. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for that. Okay. So, you start. >> All right. Here we go, everybody. And.

big thanks to Ben ahead of time because. Bend is Ben is doing our sound design, our spooky sound design. >> Jerry's doing our recording. Thanks, Cheers. >> That's right. So, here we go everybody. with The Monkeykey's Paw by WW Jacobs. [music]. [music] Without the night was cold and. wet, but in the small parlor of. Leaburnham Villa, the blinds were drawn. [music] and the fire burned brightly.

Father and son were at chess. The former. who possessed ideas about the game. involving radical [music] changes, putting his king into such sharp and. unnecessary perils that it even provoked. [music] comment from the white-haired. old lady knitting placidly by the fire. "Hawk at the wind," [music] said Mr. White, who having seen a fatal mistake. after it was too late, was amiably. desirous of preventing his son from. seeing it. >> "I'm listening." "Wait, I'm listening,".

>> said the latter, grimly, surveying the. board as he stretched [music] out his. hand. "Check!" "I should hardly think. that he'd come [music] tonight," said. his father, with his hand poised over. the board. "Mate,". replied his son. "That's the worst of. living so far out, bald Mr. white with. sudden and unlooked for [music]. violence. Of all the beastly, slushy out. of the way places to live in. This is. the worst. Pathways are bog and the. roads are torrent. I don't know what. people are thinking about. I suppose. because only two houses in the road are.

let they think it doesn't matter. Never mind, dear, said his wife. soothingly. Perhaps you'll win the next. one. That's great, by the way. Mr. White. looked up sharply just in time to. intercept a knowing glance between. mother and son. The words died away on. his lips, and he hid [music] a guilty. grin in his thin gray beard. "There he. is,". >> said Herbert White, as the gate [music]. banged too loudly, and heavy footsteps.

came toward the door. The old man rose. with hospitable haste, and opening the. door was heard condoling with the new. arrival. The new arrival also condolled. with himself. Uh-huh. >> Yikes. >> So that Mrs. [music] White said, tucked. >> and coughed gently as her husband. entered the room, followed by a tall burly man, beady of. eye and Rubicon de visage. [music] "Sergeant Major Morris," he. said, introducing him. The Sergeant.

Major [music] shook hands, and taking. the proper seat by the fire, watched. contentedly while his host got out. whiskey and tumblers and stood a small. copper kettle on the fire. At the third. glass, his eyes got brighter and he. began to talk, the little family circle. regarding with eager interest this. visitor from distant [music] parts as he. squared his broad shoulders in the chair. and spoke of wild scenes and dotty deeds. of war and plagues and strange peoples. 21 years of it, said Mr. White, nodding.

at his wife and son. When he went away, he was a slip of a youth in the. warehouse. Now look at him. He don't. look to have taken much harm, said Mrs. [music] White politely. "I'd like to go. to India myself," said the old man. "Just to look around a bit, you know.". "Better where you are," said the. sergeant [music] major, shaking his. head. He put down the empty glass and. sighing softly. Shook it again. "I should like to see those old temples. and fakers and jugglers," said the old.

man. "What was that you started telling. me the other day about a monkeykey's paw. or something, Morris?" "Nothing," said. the soldier hastily. Least way is. nothing worth hearing. >> Monkeys. a. said Mrs. White curiously, very. curiously. Well, it's just a bit of what you might. call magic perhaps, said the sergeant. major off-handedly. His three listeners. listeners. Yeah,

>> we have three listeners, too. >> That's good. >> His three listeners leaned forward. eagerly. The visitor absent-mindedly put. his empty glass to his lips and then set. it down again. His host [music] filled. it for him. >> That's class 4 I want to point out. >> Yeah, for sure. >> To look at, >> said the sergeant major, fumbling in his. pocket. >> It's just an ordinary little paw dried. to a mummy. He took something out of his. pocket and profered it. Mrs. [snorts]. White drew back with a grimace, but her. son, taking it, examined it curiously.

[music]. "And what is there special about it?". inquired Mr. white as he took it from. his son and having examined it, [music]. placed it upon the table. "It had a. spell put on it by an old fakia," said. the sergeant major. A very holy man. He. wanted to show that fate ruled people's. lives, and that those who interfered. with it did so to their sorrow. [music]. He put a spell on it so that three. separate men could each have three. wishes from it. [music]. His manner was so impressive that his.

hearers were conscious that their. [music] light laughter jarred somewhat. "Well, why aren't you have three, sir?". >> said Herbert White cleverly. The soldier. regarded him a way that middle ages want. to regard presumptuous [music] youth. "I. have," he said quietly. >> "I have," he said quietly, and his. blotchy [music] face whitened. And did. you really have the three wishes. granted?

>> asked Mrs. White. I did, said the. sergeant- major, and his glass tapped. [music] against his strong teeth. Yeah. >> And has anybody else wished? >> Persisted the old lady. The first man. had three wishes. Yes, was the reply. I. don't know what the first two were, but. the third was for death. That's how I. got the paw. His tones were [music] so. grave that a hush fell upon the group. Shh, sh. Everybody, shut up.

If you had three wishes, it's no good to. you now then, Morris, said the old man. at last. Why do you [music] keep it for? The soldier shook his head. Fancy, I. suppose, he said [music] slowly. I did. have some idea of selling it, but I. don't think I will. It has caused enough. mischief already. Besides, people won't. [music] buy. They think it's a fairy. tale, some of them, and those who do. think anything of it want to try it. first and pay me afterward. If you could have another three wishes, said the old man, eyeing him keenly,

would you have them? >> I don't know, said the other. >> I don't know. >> You want to switch over? >> Yeah, that was good, Chuck. All right. Very nice. And you did you did the. Sergeant Major just exactly as I was. hoping you would. >> Little Colonel mustard to him. >> Yeah, for sure. Okay, continuing on. You ready? >> Yeah, >> let's do it. >> He took the paw and dangling it between. his forefinger and thumb, suddenly threw. it upon the fire. White, with a slight cry, stooped down.

and snatched it off. >> Better let it burn, said the soldier. [music] solemnly. >> If you don't want it, Morris, >> said the other, [music]. >> "Give it to me.". "I won't,". >> said his friend doggedly. I threw it on. the fire. If you keep it, don't blame me. for what happens. Pitch it on the fire. again like a sensible man. >> The other shook his head and examined. his new possession closely. >> How do you do it? >> He inquired.

>> I think my voice is changing. I'm going. to stick with this one. [laughter]. >> Okay. >> Hold it up in your right hand and wish. aloud, >> said the sergeant major. >> But I warn you of the consequences. >> Sounds like the Arabian nuts, said Mrs. white as she rose and began to set the. supper. Don't you think you might wish. for four pairs of hands for me? >> Oh, what a sassy lady. >> Yeah.

Her husband drew the talisman from. pocket, and then all three burst into. laughter as the sergeant major, with a. look of alarm on his face, caught him by. the arm. [laughter]. If you must wish, >> he said gruffly. >> Wish for something sensible. >> Mr. White dropped it back in his pocket, placing chairs, motioned his friend to. the table. In the business of supper, the talisman was partly forgotten, and. afterward the three sat listening in an. enthralled fashion to a second.

installment of the solders's adventures. [music] in India. If the tale about the monkeykey's paw is. not more truthful than those he's been. telling us, said Herbert, as the door. closed behind their guests, just in time. for him to catch the [music] last train, we shan make much out of it. Did you. give him anything for father? Inquired. Mrs. White, regarding her husband/f. father closely. >> Yeah, they call each other mother and. father. I think that used to be a thing, right?

>> It's that kind of situation. And it's. funny, this is uh 1902, I think. So, Mr. and Mrs. White, these very old old. people, are probably like in their late. 50s, >> right? Yeah, totally. >> You know. Yeah, he's my age. >> Uh, all right. I think this is me. A. trifle, said he, coloring slightly. He. didn't want it, but I made him take it, and he pressed me again to throw it. away. Likely, said Herbert with pretended. horror. Why, we're going to be rich.

I've lost Herbert. >> I don't think so. Oh, let me get back in there. Why? We're. going to be rich and famous and [music]. happy. Got him back. Wish to be an. emperor father to begin with, then you. can't be in Beck. He darted round the. table, pursued by the maligned Mrs. White, armed with an anti-masser. >> Well, now what is that? And I'm sure you. look that up. >> I did. Thank you for knowing me. Um, it. is one of those like pieces of cloth or. like with a doily or something on it. that you put over the head of or the.

headrest of a chair. Okay. To. >> keep people's nasty, greasy hair from. messing up your chair. >> Yeah. You don't want that soul glow on. the back of your recliner. >> Right. That was I thought of that, too. Man, that was such a great little little. >> Got to think of coming to Easter egg in. there. Yeah. >> So, I guess she's chasing his mom is. chasing him with this auntie Macasser. Like she's going to snap his butt like. it's a dish towel. >> Oh, >> that's how I took it. Or else she's. going to strangle him with it. One of. the two. But she's mad because he just.

said that essentially she pecks his. father. >> I gota she is sassy. We've established. so I'm sure it's a butt pop. >> She's hilarious. >> Yeah. >> Okay. You ready? >> Yeah. >> Mr. White took the paw from his pocket. and I it dubiously. I don't know what to. wish for and that's a fact. >> He said slowly. >> It seems to me I've got all I want. If you only cleared the house, you'd be. quite happy, wouldn't you? [music] Said.

Herbert with his hand on his shoulder. Well, wish for 200 then. That'll just do. it. >> Okay. By clear the house, he means pay. off the mortgage, right? >> Mhm. And this is 1902, so 200, >> man. >> Equals about 22,000 today or about. 29,000. >> Oh, wow. Is that for real? You did that? >> Mhm. >> Above and beyond. Thank you to the special thanks to the. Bank of England. >> That's right. For everything.

>> And uh Yeah. And uh I can't remember. where I converted pounds into USD for. today, but you know, whatever. >> Yeah. >> Uh should I still keep going? You want. me to finish this off to um part two? >> Through part two. Let's do it. >> Okay. His father, smiling shamefacedly. [music] at his own credul, held up the. talisman, as his son, with a solemn. face, somewhat marred by a wink at his. mother ding, sat down at the piano and. struck a few impressive cords. >> "I wish for 2000,".

the old man said distinctly. [music]. A fine crash from the piano greeted the. words, interrupted [music] by a. shuddering cry from the old man. Oh, right. His wife and son ran toward him. >> It moved, >> he cried with a [music] glance of. disgust at the object as it lay on the. floor. >> As I wished, it twisted in my hand like. a snake. Well, I don't see the money, said his.

son as he [music] picked it up and. placed it on the table. And I bet I. never shall. It must have been your fancy father, said wife, regarding [music] him. anxiously. He shook his head. >> Never mind, though. There's no harm. done. [music] But it gave me a shock all. the same. >> They sat down by the fire again while. the two men finished their pipes. Outside, the wind was higher than ever, and the old man started nervously at the. sound of a door banging upstairs. A.

silence, unusual and depressing, settled. upon all three, which lasted until the. old couple rose to retire for the night. I expect you'll find the cash tied up in. a big bag in the middle of your bed, said Herbert as he bathe them good night. and something horrible squatting up on. top of the wardrobe watching you as you. pocket your illgotten gains. >> I wonder if the old man is wondering how. he ended up with a cochney family. [laughter]. >> I don't know. It's the only British.

accent I can do reliably. >> That's good. >> And I'm even hanging on by my. fingernails right now with that. >> Perfect. I love it. He sat alone. This would be Herbert. He. sat alone in the darkness, gazing. [music] at the dying fire and seeing. faces in it. The last face was so. horrible and so Simeon that he gazed at. it in amazement. It got so vivid that with a little. uneasy laugh. [snorts]. Jeez. He fell on the table [music] for a. glass containing a little water to throw.

over it, he grasped the monkeykey's paw. With a little shiver, he wiped his hand. on his coat and he went up to bed. >> All right, that's part one. So, they. have made this wish for the 200 lb, even. though a dire warning from Colonel. Mustard. >> Yep. >> That something bad would come of that. >> I guess we should take an ad break, huh? >> No, buddy. Not not on this one. >> Okay. I I was just setting you up for. that.

>> Perfect. I'll pick it up here. Monkeyy's. paw part two. In the brightness [music] of the wintry. sun next morning, as it streamed over. the breakfast table, he laughed at his. fears. There was an air of prosaic. wholesomeness about the room which it. had lacked [music] on the previous. night, and the dirty, shriveled little. paw was pitched on the sideboard with a. carelessness which ptokened no great. belief in [music] its virtues. [snorts]. >> I suppose all old soldiers are the same, >> said Mrs. White. The idea of all.

listening to such nonsense, how could. wishes be granted these days? And if. they could, how could 200 hurt you, father? Might drop on his head from the sky, >> said a frivolous Herbert. Morris said. the things happened so naturally, said. [music] his father, that you might, if. you so wished, attribute it to. coincidence. Well, don't break into the. money before I come back, said Herbert. as he [music] rose from the table. I'm. afraid it'll turn you into a mean.

avaricious man and we shall have to. disown you. His mother laughed. [laughter]. and following. and following him through the door. watched him down the road and returning. to the breakfast table was very happy at. the expense of her husband's credul. >> All of which did not prevent her from. scurring to the door at the postman's. knock. nor prevent her from referring somewhat. shortly to retired Sergeant Majors of.

Bibulous habits when she found [music]. that the post brought a Taylor's bill. "Herbert. will have some more of his funny. remarks, I expect, when he comes home,". [music]. >> she said, as they sat at dinner. "I dare. say," said Mr. White, pouring himself. out some beer. "But for all that, the. thing moved in my hand. that I'll swear. to. >> You thought it did, >> said the old lady soothingly. [snorts]. I say it did, replied the other. There.

was no thought about it. I had just. What's the matter? His wife made no. reply. She was watching the mysterious. movements of a man outside who, peering. in an undecided fashion at the house, appeared to be trying to make up his. mind to enter. [music] and mental. connection with the 200 lb. She noticed. that the stranger was well-dressed and. wore a silk hat of glossy newness. Three. times he paused at the gate and then. walked on again. The fourth time he. stood with [music] his hand upon it and. then with sudden resolution flung it.

open and walked up the path. Mrs. White. at the same moment placed her hands. behind her and hurriedly unfassening. [music] the strings of her apron put. that useful article of apparel beneath. the cushion of her chair. >> Kind of weird. >> She hid that apron, >> I guess. She brought the stranger, who seemed ill. at ease, into the room. He gazed at her. fertibly and listened in a preoccupied. fashion as the old lady apologized for. the appearance [music] of the room and. her husband's coat, a garment which he. usually reserved for the garden. Then. she waited as patiently as her sex would.

permit. [music]. >> Sorry. >> For him to brooch his business, but he. was at first strangely silent. Uh, all right. This guy's me, right? >> Yeah, you're you. >> Uh, let me see. Who is this guy? Who is. this guy? >> He's a fppish dandy gentleman. >> I was asked to call, he said at last and. [music] stooped and picked a piece of. cotton from his trousers. I come from Ma. and Megan's. The old lady started. >> Is anything matter?

>> she asked breathlessly. >> Has anything happened to her? What is. it? What is it? >> Her husband interposed. There, mother, he said hastily. Sit down and don't jump. to conclusions. You've not [music]. brought bad news, I'm sure, sir. And he. eyed the other wisfully. I'm sorry, began the visitor. >> Is he hurt? >> demanded the mother wildly. The visitor bowed in a sense. Badly. hurt, he said quietly. But he is not in.

any pain. Oh, thank God, said the. [music] old woman, clasping her hands. >> Thank God for that. thing. She broke off. suddenly as the sinister meaning of the. assurance [music] dawned upon her and. she, the awful confirmation of her fears. and the others averted face. She caught. her breath. and turning to her slower witted husband. laid her trembling old hand upon his. There was a long silence. "He was caught. in the machinery," said the visitor.

[music] at length in a low voice. "Caught in the machinery," repeated Mr. for white in a day's fashion. >> Yes. >> He sat staring blankly out at the window. and taking his wife's [music] hand. between his own, pressed it, as he had. want to do in their old courting days. nearly 40 [music] years before. "He was the only one left to us,". [music] he said, turning gently to the. visitor. "It is hard." The other. coughed,

and rising, walked slowly to the window. The firm wish me to convey their sincere. sympathy with you in your great loss, he. said without [music] looking around. I. beg that you will understand. I am only. their servant and merely obeying orders. It's like, don't shoot the messenger. >> Yeah, for sure. >> Uh there was no reply. The old woman's. [music] face was white, her eyes. staring, and her breaths inaudible. On. the husband's face was a look such as. his friend, the sergeant, might have. carried into his first action.

I was to say that M and Megan's disclaim. all responsibility, continued the other. They admit no liability at all, but in. consideration of your son's services, they wish to present you with a certain. sum as compensation. Mr. White dropped his wife's hand, and. rising to his feet, gazed with a look of. [music] horror at his visitor. His dry. lips shaped the words. "How much?". "200,". was the answer. unconscious of his.

wife's shriek. >> "Oh,". the old man smiled faintly, put out his. hands like a sightless man, and dropped. a senseless heap to the floor. [sighs]. >> Wow. All right. >> Yeah, >> there it is. >> I had to catch my own breath because. I've been trying to breathe in audibly. this whole time. >> You okay? >> Yeah, I'm good now. Now that I'm free of. that. No, >> you need an O2 canister. [laughter].

>> I need a CPAT. >> Yeah. Okay. >> All right. You ready? >> Yeah. This is uh you know what uh the. the fate has been revealed. Sun is. mangled. >> to the tune of 200 lb in compensation. >> Yeah. Caught in the machinery definitely. equals mangled, I think. So, >> so this is the third and final act of. the monkeykey's paw starting right now. [clears throat]. >> [music]. >> In the huge new cemetery some two mi.

distant, [music] the old people buried. their dead and came back to a house. steeped in shadow and silence. It was. all over so quickly that at first they. could hardly realize it and remained in. a state of expectation [music]. as though of something else to happen, something else which was to lighten this. load too heavy for old hearts to bear. But the [music] days passed and. expectation gave place to resignation. the hopeless resignation of the old, sometimes miscalled apathy. Sometimes.

they hardly [music] exchanged a word, for now they had nothing to talk about, and their days were long to weariness. It was about a week after that that the. old man, [music] waking suddenly in the. night, stretched out his hand and found. himself alone. The room was in darkness, and the sound of subdued weeping came. from the window. He raised himself [music] in bed and. listened. Come back, he said tenderly. You will be cold. It is colder for my.

son, said [music] the old woman, and. wept a fresh. The sound of her sobs died away on his. ears. [music] The bed was warm and his. eyes heavy asleep. He dosed fitfully and. then slept until a sudden wild cry from. his wife awoke him with a start. The. paw, she cried wildly. "The monkeyy's. paw.". He started up an alarm. >> "Where? Where is it? What's the matter? >> She came stumbling across the room. [music] toward him. I want it, she said.

quietly. Oh, I want it, she said. quietly. [music]. You've not destroyed it. It's in the. parlor on the bracket, he replied. marveling. Why? She cried and laughed. together and bending over kissed his. cheek. "I only just thought of it," she. said hysterically. "Why didn't I think. of it before? Why didn't you think of. it?" Think of what? He questioned. The. other two wishes, she replied rapidly. We've only had one. Was [music] not that.

enough? He demanded fiercely. No, she. cried triumphantly. We'll have one more. Go down and get it quickly and wish our. boy alive again. The man sat up in bed. and flung the bed clothes from his. quaking [music] limbs. Good God, you're. mad, he cried a gasp. Get it, she panted. Get it quickly and. wish. Oh, my boy, my boy. Her husband. struck a match and lit the candle.

Get back to bed, >> he said unsteadily. [music]. >> You don't know what you're saying. >> We had the first wish granted, said the. old woman feverishly. Why not the. second? >> A coincidence, stammered the old man. Go. and get it and wish, cried his wife, quivering with excitement. The old man turned and regarded her, and. his voice shook. >> He has [music] been dead 10 days, and. besides, he I could not tell you else, but I I could only recognize him by his.

clothing. If he was too terrible for you. to see, then how now? Brown cow. [laughter]. Bring him back, cried the old woman, and. [music] dragged him toward the door. Do. you think I fear the child I have. nursed? He went down in the darkness and he felt. his way to the parlor and then to the. mantelpiece. The talisman [music] was in. its place and a horrible fear that the. unspoken wish might bring his mutilated.

son before him air he could escape the. room seized upon him and he caught his. breath as he found that he had lost the. direction of the door. His brow [music]. cold was sweat. He felt his way around. the table and groped along the wall. until he [music] found himself in the. small passage with the unh wholesome. thing in his hand. Even his wife's [music] face seemed. changed as he entered the room. It was. white and expectant, and to his fears. seemed to have an unnatural look upon.

it. He was afraid of her. "Wish!" she. cried in a strong voice. "It is foolish. and wicked,". he faltered. Worst, repeated his wife. He raised his hand. >> I. wish my son alive again. >> The talisman fell to the floor and he. regarded it fearfully. Then he sank, trembling into a chair as the old woman. with burning eyes walked to the window.

and raised the blind. He sat until he. was chilled with the cold. Wait, maybe. you should take over here because I. think this is a good spot for you to. take us home. What do you think? >> Sure. And I gotta say, uh, they didn't. think this through because he even said. out loud like he would be mutilated when. he come back when he comes back. And all. he had to do was say, "I wish my son I. wish my son alive again." And in the. manner he was before caught in the.

machinery. >> Yeah, I thought that, too. >> Well, there wouldn't be a story here, >> right? True. >> All right. All right. Uh, taking us. home. He sat [music] until he was. chilled with the cold, glancing. occasionally at the figure of the old. woman peering through the window. The. candle in which had burned below the rim. of the china candlestick, was throwing. pulsating shadows on the ceiling and. walls until, with a flicker larger than. the rest, it expired. The old man, with. an unspeakable sense [music] of relief. at the failure of the talisman, crept. back to his bed, and a minute or two. afterward, the old woman came silently.

and apathetically [music]. beside him. Neither spoke, but lay. silently, listening to the ticking of. the clock. A stare creaked, and a. [music] squeaky mouse scured noisily. through the wall. The darkness was. oppressive, and after lying for some. [music] time, screwing up his courage, he took the box of matches, and striking. one, went downstairs for a candle. At. the foot of the stairs, the match went. out, and he paused to strike another, and at that same moment, a knock, so. quiet and stealthy as to be scarcely. audible, sounded at [music] the front. door. The matches fell from his hand and.

spilled in the passage. He stood. motionless, [music] his breath suspended. until the knock was repeated. Then he. turned and fled swiftly back to [music]. his room and closed the door behind him. A third knock sounded through the house. >> "What's that?". >> cried the old woman, starting up. "A. rat," said the old man [music] in. shaking tones. "A rat. It passed me on. the stairs." His wife sat up in bed. listening. A loud knock resounded. [music] through the house. It's Herbert,

>> she screamed. >> It's Herbert. >> She ran to the door, but her husband was. before her and catching her by the arm, held her tightly. What are you going to. do? He whispered horsely. >> It's my boy. It's Herbert, >> she cried, struggling mechanically. >> I forgot it was 2 miles away. What are. you holding me for? Let go. I must open. the door. For God's sake, don't let it. in, cried the old man, trembling. >> You're afraid of your own son,

>> she cried, struggling. >> Let me go. I'm coming, Herbert. I'm. coming. >> There was another knock and another. The. old woman, with a sudden wrench, broke. free and ran from the room. Her husband. followed to the landing and called after. her appealingly as she hurried. downstairs, "Old lady.". He heard the chain rattle back and the. bottom bolt drawn slowly and stiffly. [music] from the socket. Then the old. woman's voice, strained and panting. >> The bolt,

>> she cried loudly, >> "Come down. I can't reach it.". >> But her husband was on his hands and. knees, groping wildly on the floor in. search of the paw. He could only find it. before the thing outside got in. A. perfect fuselot of knocks reverberated. through the house, and [music] he heard. the scraping of a chair as his wife put. it down in the passage against the door. He heard the creaking of the bolt as it. came slowly back. And at that same. moment, he found the monkeykey's paw and. frantically breathed his third and last. wish. The knocking ceased suddenly, although.

the echoes of it were still in the. house. He heard the chair drawn back and. the door opened. A cold wind rushed up. the staircase and a long loud whale of. disappointment and misery from his wife. Son of a. >> gave him courage to run down to her side. and then to the gate beyond the street. lamp flickering opposite shown on the. quiet and deserted road. So he wished for the street lamp to.

flicker. [laughter]. >> Yep. He got his last wish. >> Man, what a stone cold classic. >> I know, man. WW Jacobs did a great job. with that the the pacing at the end. where it just suddenly became frantic. and frenetic and scary. >> Yeah. Yeah. I like it. And I love it. Good. It sort of reminds me of the uh. what's the Christmas one? >> Uh Christmas story. >> The fated uh. you you bought combs and sold the hair.

>> Oh. Oh. Uh the gift of the magi. >> Yeah. Kind kind of a gift of the magi. vibe but in a spooky way. It was written. around the same time, too. I wonder if. it was influenced at all by Oh, Henry. >> Oh, interesting. I wonder who uh who was. first to press. >> Who's Zoom and who? >> Yeah, exactly. >> You know, the thing that stands out to. about the monkey paw to me today is the. whole idea of AI friendliness and. alignment, like being careful what you. wish for, how you train an AI what to do. things or else it'll just turn on you.

and in a horrible ironic twist and wipe. out your entire species. i.e. humanity. >> man. I love it. Still relevant. >> Yeah, still relevant today. Uh, okay. I. think we should take our ad break, huh? >> No. >> Oh, I almost got you again. >> Uh, that's right. We turn now to story. number two, a bit shorter, which is kind. of perfect. >> I think it pairs well with that one. And. it's called August Heat by another. British writer, WF Harvey.

>> And uh, there's only two characters in. this, right? >> Yeah. Uh, yeah. I think the the guy's. wife is in it, but she has no no lines. >> Yeah. I mean, this was the turn of the. century. >> Yeah. This is a good one, too. This um. this August Heat apparently changed uh. the way that fiction like we like horror. fiction was because before it was all. Victorian and stuffy and there was. somebody in a club and over stuffed. chair. >> counting a a ghost story and then it.

comes back to the club. This just. changed all that like almost. single-handedly. It it started weird. fiction in a lot of ways. >> Yeah. And I think uh the ending to this, as you'll see, is it's sort of that uh. the thing that you would see in movies. later on, like the vagaries of of what. possibly would happen. >> Mhm. >> Is kind of a nice thing. All right. So, uh you want to roll with it? August Heat. by WF Harvey. >> Yeah. Uh do you want me to start? You. saying? >> Yeah. Why don't you start it out? >> Oh, wait. Who's going to play? Who do. you want to play? the uh the artist or.

the or the uh the other guy? >> I don't I want to play the artist cuz I. I think you can play him a little. straighter. I can. So, uh I'm going to. leave the other guy to you. >> All right. >> Okay. You ready? >> Yep. >> August Heat by William Frier WF Harvey. I have had what I believe to be the most. remarkable day in my life. [music] And. while the events are still fresh in my. mind, I wish to put them down on paper.

as clearly as possible. Let me say at. the outset that my name is James. Clarence [music] Withering. I'm 40 years. old, in perfect health, never having. known a day's illness. By profession, I. am an artist, not a very successful one, but I earn enough money from my black. and white work to satisfy my necessary. wants. And my only near relative, a. sister, died 5 years ago so that I am. independent. I breakfasted this morning at 9:00, and. after glancing through the morning. paper, I lighted my pipe and proceeded.

to let my mind wander in the hope that I. might chance upon some subject for my. pencil. The room, though door and. windows were open, was oppressively hot, and I had just made up my mind that the. coolest and most comfortable place in. the neighborhood would be the deep end. of the public swimming bath. When the. idea came, I began to draw. So intent. was I on my work that I left my lunch. untouched, only stopping work when the. clock [music] of St. Jude struck four. The final result for a hurried sketch.

was, I felt sure the [music] best thing. I had done. It showed a criminal in the. dock immediately after the judge had. pronounced sentence. Man was fat, enormously fat. The flesh hung in rolls. about his chin. It creased his huge. stumpy neck. He was clean shaven. Perhaps I should say a few days before. he must have been clean shaven. and. almost bald. He stood in the dock, his. short, clumsy fingers clasping the rail, looking straight in front of him. The. feeling that his expression conveyed was.

not so much one of horror as of utter. absolute collapse. There seemed nothing. in the man strong enough to sustain that. mountain of flesh. >> So, he's drawn a picture essentially is. where we're at right now. >> Yeah. And he's uh kind of fat shaming. this guy. >> pretty much. Yeah. Uh, continuing on. >> Sure. >> Do you want to? >> No, go ahead. >> Okay. I rolled up the sketch and without quite. knowing why, placed it in my pocket. I.

almost just did a Herbert impression. >> I know. He was He's peeking in there, isn't he? >> He's in my mouth like Tony. Then, with the rare sense of happiness, which the knowledge of a good thing well. done gives, I left the house. I believe. that I set out with the idea of calling. upon Trenton, which I think is a town or. neighborhood, he's saying. >> Yeah. >> For I remember walking along Lighton. Street and turning to the right along. Gilchrist Road at the bottom of the. hill, where the men were at work on the.

new tram lines. From there onwards, I. have only the vaguest recollection of. where I went. The one thing of which I. was fully [music] conscious was the. awful heat that came up from the dusty. asphalt pavement as an almost palpable. wave. I longed for the thunder promised. by the great banks of copper colored. cloud that hung low over the western. sky. I must have walked five or six. miles when [music] a small boy roused me. from my revery by asking the time. >> What time is it?

>> It was 20 minutes to 7. Very nice, Chuck. >> Yeah, threw that in there. >> Uh, I think it's your turn. All right, this is a good transition spot. When he left me, I began to take stock. of my bearings. I found myself standing. before a gate that led into a yard. bordered [music] by a strip of thirsty. earth, where there were flowers, purple. stock, and scarlet geranium. Above the. entrance was a board with the. inscription. From the yard itself came a. cheery whistle, the noise of hammer. blows, and the cold sound of steel.

melting stone. A sudden impulse made me. enter. A man was sitting with his back. towards me, busy at work on a slab of. curiously veined marble. He turned. around as he heard my steps, and I. stopped short. It was the [music] man I. had been drawing, whose portrait lay in. my pocket. He sat there, huge and. elephantine, the sweat pouring from his. scalp, which he [music] wiped with a red. silk handkerchief. But though the face. was the same, the expression was. absolutely different. He greeted me.

smiling [music] as if we were old. friends and shook my hand. I apologize. for my intrusion. >> Everything is hot and glary outside. >> No British. >> Uh, are these Brits? Do they have to be? >> All right, they don't have to. >> Oh, no, they are Brits. You're right. Uh, everything is hot and glary outside, >> I said. >> This seems to be an [music] oasis in the. wilderness. >> I don't know about the oasis, >> he replied. But it certainly is hot as.

hell. Take a seat, sir. He [snorts]. pointed to the [music] end of the. gravestone on which he was at work and I. sat down. >> That's a beautiful piece of stone you've. got hold of, >> I said. He shook his head. >> In a way it is, >> he answered. The surface here is as fine. as anything you could wish, but there's. a big flaw at the back, though I don't. expect [music] you'd ever notice it. I. could never make really a good job of a. bit of marble like that. It would be all. [music] right in the summer like this.

Wouldn't mind the blasted heat, but wait. till winter comes. There's nothing quite. like [music] frost to find out the weak. points in stone. >> That's a great Donald Pleasants, I feel. like. >> Oh, wow. >> Yeah, that is one to reach for for sure. Nice work. >> Uh the Duke, a number one. >> What's that from? >> Escape from New York. >> Is it okay? He was the president in. that, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Which is weird that he was the British. president in I never really put that. together.

Then what's it for? >> I asked. The man burst out laughing. You'd hardly [music] believe me if I was. to tell you it's for an exhibition, but. it's the truth. Artists have. exhibitions. So do grocerers [music] and. butchers. We have them, too. All the. latest little things and headstones, you. know. He went on to talk of marbles, which [music] sort best withtood wind. and rain, and which were easiest to work. with. Then of his garden, and a new sort. of carnation he had bought. At the end. of every other minute, he would drop his.

[music] tools, wiping his shining head. and curse the heat. >> You want to take it over? >> Sure. >> All right. >> I said little, for I felt uneasy. Little. [music]. Right. There was something unnatural, uncanny in [music] meeting this man. I. tried at first to persuade myself that I. had seen him before, that his [music]. face, unknown to me, had found a place. in some out of the way corner of my. memory. But I knew that I was practicing. little more than a plausible piece of.

selfdeception. Mr. Atkinson, his name, finished [music]. his work, spat on the ground, and got up. with a sigh of relief. Gross. >> There. What do you think of that? >> He said with an air of evident pride. The inscription which I read for the. first time was this. sacred to the memory of James Clarence. Withercraftoft born January 18th 1860. He passed away very suddenly on August. 20th 1909.

In the midst of life we are in death. For some time I sat in silence and a. cold shutter ran down my [music] spine. I asked him where he'd seen the name. >> I didn't see it anywhere, >> replied Mr. Atinson, >> I wanted just some name. I put down the. first [music] that came into my head. Why do you want to know? >> It's a strange coincidence, but it. happens to be mine. He gave a long, low. whistle. Chuck.

>> and the dates. >> I can only answer for one of them, and. that's correct. >> It's a rum go, >> he said. But he knew less than I did. I. [music] told him of my morning's work. I. took the sketch from my pocket and. showed it to him. As he looked, [music]. the expression of his face altered until. it became more and more like that of the. man I had drawn. >> And it was only the day before. yesterday, >> he said,

>> that I told Maria there were no such. things as ghosts. >> Neither of us had seen a ghost, but I. knew what he meant. You probably heard. my name, I said. And you must have seen. me somewhere and have forgotten it. Were. you at Clactton on Sea last July? >> I had never been to Clactton in my life. We were silent for [music] some time. We. were both looking at the same thing, the. two dates on the gravestone, and one was. right. >> "Come inside and have some supper,".

>> said Mr. Atkinson. "Uh, I feel like this is you taking us. home." "Uh, okay. Okay. >> Does everyone get what's going on? So, he has drawn a random picture. It turns. out to be this guy. >> Sure. >> That's carving headstones. And this guy. has carved this dude's name and birth. date and today's date as the death date. >> Yeah. And they don't know each other. They've never heard of each other. They've never seen each other. It It's.

just the most astounding coincidence you. can imagine. >> That's right. All right. Here we go with. the end of August heat. His wife was a. cheerful little woman with the flaky red. cheeks of the country bread. Her husband. introduced me as a friend of his who was. an artist. The result was unfortunate. for after the sardines and water crest. had been removed. She brought out a dwar. Bible which I actually looked that up. That's a like a woodcut handcarved. illustrated Bible. >> Mhm. I've seen a few of them before.

Yeah. >> Yeah. Uh and I had to sit and express. [music] my admiration for nearly half an. hour. Guy's not easily impressed. I. guess he's his mind is somewhere else. >> Yeah, I think so. [laughter]. >> I went outside and found Atkinson. sitting on the gravestone smoking. We. resumed the conversation [music] at the. point we had left off. >> Uh, you must excuse my asking, >> I said. >> But do you know of anything you've done. for which you could be put on trial? >> He shook his head.

>> Not bankrupt. The business is prosperous. enough. Three years ago, I gave turkeys. to some of the guardians at Christmas, but that's all I can think of. They were. small ones, too, he added as an. afterthought. He got up, fetched a can. from the porch, and began to water the. flowers. Twice a day regular in the hot. weather, he said. And then the heat. sometimes gets the better of the. delicate ones. And ferns, good lord, they could never stand it. Where do you. live? >> I told him my address. We take an hour's.

quick walk to [music] get back home. It's like this, >> he said. >> Well, look at the matter straight. If. you go back home tonight, you take your. chance of accidents. The cart may run. over you and there's always banana skins. and orange peel. To say nothing of. fallen ladders, he spoke of the. improbable with an intense seriousness. that would have been laughable 6 hours. before, but I did not laugh. >> The best we can do, >> he continued, is for you to stay here. till 12:00. We'll go upstairs and smoke.

It may be cooler inside. To my surprise, I agreed. We are sitting. now in a long, low room beneath the. eaves. [music] Atkinson has sent his. wife to bed. He himself is busy. sharpening tools at a little oil stone, smoking one [music] of my cigars. The. while the air seems charged with. thunder. I am writing this at a shaky. table [music] before the open window. The leg is cracked, and Atkinson, who. seems a handyman with his tools, is. going to [music] mend it as soon as he. is finished putting an edge on his. chisel. is after 11 now. I shall be gone.

[music] in less than an hour. But the. heat is stifling. It is enough to send a. man mad. [music]. >> There's a low whistle, too. >> Man, I love the ambiguity. Like, uh, I'll be gone [music] in less than an. hour. Mhm. >> This guy's putting an edge on his.

chisel. Like the idea here is this guy. like kills him, right? >> I I guess that's one way to interpret. it. It's also possible that the whole. thing just turns out to be a total. [music] coincidence and that the guy. survives till midnight, in which case. that the the death date on [music] the. gravestone would be wrong, which would. undermine everything, you know. >> Yeah, I like it. I like it a lot. I. wonder how much ambiguity had been. [music] used before in stuff like this. None essentially like this. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't know that this guy was the.

like ground zero for this stuff, but he. was certainly one of the pioneers. And. he was [music] even a doctor, too. He. wasn't even like a professional horror. fiction, right? >> Oh, wow. Like a medical doctor. >> Yeah, he's got this and the beast with. five fingers is probably his most. famous. >> Yeah, I had that one picked [music] out, but this one shorter I think paired. better. >> Totally. No, I agree. This is a great. pairing. This is like um Chardonnay and. peanut butter. >> This is great, Chuck. Yeah. >> Yeah. I like the story. These are both. winners. I [music] think.

>> you uh you knocked it out of the park. like a um a Cleveland Guardian. >> Yeah, you did. >> Milwaukee Brewer. >> You did great, too, [music] man. Always. love hearing the uh. >> the Josh takes. >> So fun. >> I think What is today? Is today. Halloween? >> I think it is uh Halloween today. >> Is it really? That's amazing. I think we. I think we got lucky that Halloween Oh, no, no, no. Halloween's on a Saturday. So, [laughter]. >> this is the This is the 29th and in. [music] podcast time. >> All of you yelling at your speakers or.

earbuds or whatever can can just calm. down everybody. Just wait a couple more. days for your big pillowcase [music] of. candy. All right. >> Yeah. But hopefully people save these. for Halloween. That's what I would do. >> Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. You could have a whole party and. just play this and I guarantee you'd. have at least. >> a third of the people you started out. with by the end of this. >> Yeah. People who are game and [music]. drunk. [laughter]. >> Exactly. Who are on their fourth glass. of whiskey.

>> That's right. >> Uh yeah, I guess that's it for our. annual Halloween spooktacular everybody. We hope you loved it and we hope you. have a safe and happy Halloween aka sin. And um if you want to email us something. about [music] this, we would love to. hear from you. You can send it off to. stuffodcast. iheartradio.com. [music].

[music] Stuff you should know is a. production of iHeart Radio. For more. podcasts, iHeart Radio, visit the iHeart. Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever. you listen to your favorite shows.