You Can't Pick Your Family... | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hello. Welcome to "Reddit Stories". . I'm Shayne. And today's theme is family. Notorious for being extremely chill. - Yeah. - Zero issues. - Right. - [Shayne] Family. - Yeah. - Joining me are two people who I consider family, Angela and Chanse. - Oh. - Oh! - Okay, what family member would I be to you? - Ooh, that's tough. - We're both your cousins. - I'd have to think about it. Yeah, cousins. - You're obsessed with cousins! - No, I'm not. I just know that that's the energy. - I think the energy that we have oftentimes.

is like cousin energy. I think that's fair to say. - I'm sorry that I yelled at you about the cousin thing. - Hey, it's okay. It's family. (crew laughs). - It's family. - But you're right, it's like a chill subject, like across all cultures, I'd say. - Yeah. - Chill, chill, chill. I'd say-. - No expectations. - Yeah, I'd say this is gonna be a really lighthearted, we'll probably... Like, I probably won't have really much to say. - Yeah. - Time code on this is probably gonna be like 15 minutes. - Yeah. Literally, yeah. - Don't worry about it. - I've never met an overbearing family member. - Yeah. Most people I meet, I'm like, "Hey, what's your family like?". And they're like, "Really good.".

- Boring. Next question? - We all talk. We're all in communication. - Also like family like trees now, they're so crazy. They're so disjointed and like-. - Are you seeing these trees? - Okay. Shall we get into these? - [Chanse] Yes. - Our first story was posted less than 24 hours ago. as of reading this. - No! I love when you guys do that! (everyone laughs). - [Emily] This was a Kiana pick. - I can tell it's a Kiana pick. Kiana just finds, she lasers in on the craziest stories. - She does.

- Okay, so as of reading this, this came out less than 24 hours ago. - Oh my god, okay. - This is from True Off My Chest. This is a confession someone made. "I purchase all of my sister's OnlyFans content. "Am I wrong?". - What the hell? Okay, support local business. (crew laughs). - You did the exact turn I did. - The what? - The turn. I was like, "No. "Aw." - Aw. (crew laughs). - Let's find out-. - [Angela] Yeah. - Where this goes. "As the title says, "I purchase all of my sister's OnlyFans content.

"A paltry 200 to $500 every two-ish weeks.". - What? - "For obvious reasons, this is a throwaway. "Now let me explain. "I am extremely well off. "I make in the upper end of the six figure bracket. "My sister, however, has been struggling. "She has a young child with another on the way. "Her boyfriend tries to provide, "but he just doesn't have the income. "to support them in a meaningful way. "Now comes my sister's OnlyFans. "She started before the first child. "and was very vocal about it.

"I ignored it for the most part because I didn't care. "When she found out she was pregnant the first time, "I worried about both their financial situation. "and frankly my sister's more than a few crayons short. "of a Crayola pack.". - She's got some colors missing. - "I initially offered to help financially, "but she has decided that she doesn't want help. "and can do it on her own. "So I decided to enlist the help of a friend. "so I don't have to view the content. "to use my money to subscribe anonymously. "and purchase all of the content she produces, "thereby providing support.

"and a little extra help without her knowledge. "Obviously I will never reveal I am her largest supporter. "I have never seen any of the content. "aside from a few face pictures. "to confirm it was her account. "I do this solely to help her and to help support my nephew. "since she refuses all help I offer. "Is this wrong? "I don't know. "Does it feel weird as (beep)? "Yes. Yes, it does. "Do I regret it? "Not even slightly.". - So does he watch? - He said no. So what he does is he gives a friend money. and that friend is the subscriber. - Okay.

- And I don't know if that friend watches. - This is a beautiful, beautiful thing. - That friend is like, "Yeah, I don't watch it.". (Chanse gasps). - Oh, I need to know, I need to know if the friend watches. - Well, I need to know like what's the content? - What is the content? Is it just her? - I'm assuming it's probably-. - But it could be anything. Like, some people are literally on there. with their bare ass sitting on cakes. - Yeah. - Like, it's creative stuff. Like, there are people like that. - Him saying that he's like, "I am not watching the content.". I'm assuming it's-. - But it could be (beep) anything.

- [Chanse] It could be anything. - It's true. - Like, that's why I wanna know. - I know. Who knows? But I think ultimately, if all of this is true, I think this is a kind gesture. It's fine. It's sweet. And I get it. It makes her feel like, "Oh, well I'm earning this money.". And she is. But, you know, instead of just giving her the money. and she feels guilty about it-. - Yeah. - This is through a way that... - This is really, really sweet. - It is. - He doesn't need to call her a few crayons short. of a Crayola pack. - No, he didn't need to say that.

- He did not need to say that at all. - No. - 'Cause I'm confused. - Yeah. - Yeah. - And hurt. - Oh. - Yeah. - Yeah. Some comments here. "This is so wholesome, "even though the post has a disturbing title. "I am sure there are other ways to assist, "like trusts and such. "But for anonymous instant short term, why not? "Take it to the grave though.". Someone else said, "While your intention is good, "do you know if she's making enough money from other users? "You may be the only reason she is doing OnlyFans actively.".

- Oh, that could be true. - Someone else said, "I have a feeling that had she known she couldn't do it. "on her own and had she turned to you for help, "she could have had a more realistic approach. "to the situation with a higher chance. "of finding a more wholesome approach to tackling it.". OP responded, "Unfortunately, she's one of those extremely stubborn people. "and will vehemently deny she isn't doing it on her own, "even when everything points to the latter.". Lastly, someone said, "It is not weird. "You found a way to support her without hurting her pride. "Although I think she is very shortsighted.

"if she doesn't want your help. "Kudos to you. "If you want to help in other ways, try to frame it. "as helping her child as an uncle and not her. "Give her coupons to kids stores. "Tell her you'll pay for extracurricular activities, "et cetera. "Pay for preschool.". I think there's some offers he could probably put out there. of like, "Hey, like this is my nephew, and I make...". If he's saying he makes close to a million dollars a year, he could be like, "Can I like set up a fund to pay for his college?". - There is also-. - Like, do some things.

- I will say there is a betrayal of trust here. where she is allowed to say, "I do not want your help.". And he is actively saying, "You don't get that choice anymore.". - No, he's not saying that to her. - He absolutely is. - No, I think saying that to her face is one thing, but then silently supporting her... - Silently doing the thing that she doesn't want him to do? - Yeah, I guess you're right. But I don't know if it's as like black and white as that. because I feel like-.

- Oh no, it's definitely gray. - But... Oof. This is tough because you're right, she doesn't want this. - She's saying, she's actively saying, "I do not want your help. "I do not want your money.". - 'Cause she wants to make it on her own. - She wants another person's money. - Yeah, I honestly would feel bad lying to her. for that long. But you're also supporting. Honestly, you know what I feel like he should do? He should use, he or she, this person should use their money. and like I feel like use it and like buy property. and be like, "Hey, you can live here. "This is an investment property.".

- I don't think she wants that. - He's just saying-. - [Angela] She doesn't want help. - [Chanse] Doesn't want help. - She's gonna refuse. all forms of help, which-. - And that's okay. She doesn't have to take. - It's within her right to do. So apparently from other comments, he has set up trusts, so there are other ways. It's short term that she's saying, "No, I don't want your money.". And it's also, I guess, from other comments, she may have other subscribers. I don't know how much money she's making per subscribers. I'm not really sure how the income works on OnlyFans. But I don't know.

I don't think this is a situation. where someone's a horrible person. - No. No, for sure. - He's just so certain that she's so stubborn. - Yeah. - This is tough. And we've had stories kind of similar. about people who are trying to get into Twitch streaming. - Yes. - Of just like being so determined. But, you know, the average, like 99% of people on YouTube, Twitch, OnlyFans are people. with like zero subscribers. who are just trying to break through.

And it's really, really hard. Like, it's a lot harder than people realize. So she's not alone in what she's doing, and she's probably just hoping like it's gonna spark, it's gonna work and... - Oh, that's so hard. - It's really tough. - There's also like this, with my experience, when family offers money, I feel that they now have this power over me.

- I fully understand that. - I now owe them this. I have to do this because they helped me. And a lot of times I don't want that. I don't want those strings attached to me. - But sometimes people don't feel those strings. and they still-. - That's true. - But she-. - She's actively saying, "I don't want.". I don't want strings on me. - Like, I even think about like with me, like I remember some of my earliest improv shows, there's no one in the audience. I didn't invite my family 'cause I didn't want, my family was local, and I still felt like I was just like, I don't know. Like, support from your family,

especially as a young artist is crucial. - Yeah. - Right? Like, you need it. But it's also really hard. because you don't want it sometimes. You wanna make it on your own. - Yes. - And you don't like-. - You have to have an empty improv show. You have to have an empty improv-. - And then you really, yeah. - You learn from the empty improv show. - Yeah. Gosh. But then I remember like when I was little. and I like had a lemonade stand and no one would come, and my mom like came and bought something. and I was like, "(beep).". And she was like, "You still made lemonade.

"and had a business today.". And I was like, "Yeah, but you bought it. "It was for other people.". - Give me my allowance. (everyone laughs). I am so curious about this friend who was like, "Yeah, I'll do that.". - Does he watch it? - Does he watch it? - I'm glad he's going through the friend though because-. - Well, yeah. (everyone laughs). - For many reasons, I'm glad. (everyone laughs). - You find out your whole family is the one who subscribed. They're like, "Great job, honey.". - [Chanse] Oh my god. - You're like, "Ah!".

- Like, if all the tickets we were selling. for like "Smosh: The Sitcom" it was all of our parents. (everyone laughs). - [Chanse] Shit. - And we were like, "We hit another tier!". And we're like, "Yes, it's all of our friends.". - "Smosh Mouth" at Dynasty Typewriter was just my family. in the audience. I'm like, okay. - Okay. - Okay, let's move on to our next story. "Am I the asshole for telling my family no more. "to monthly family dinners?". - Oh. - Okay! - Whoa. Whoa. - What? What? What? - No, I just already have a lot to say.

- Okay. (crew laughs). - This is fun for me. 'cause this is not something I relate to. My family lives out of state, so I've never experienced like having family. where it's like, oh, we meet up regularly. - You've never felt the gun to your head. that is Sunday night sauce. (Shayne laughs). - [Chanse] Wow. - Oh shit. Okay. "Ever since my dad was a kid, "our family has done monthly family dinners. "Nicer ones than your average family dinner. "It's something our family did. "when my siblings and I were kids too. "We'd have grandparents over, "and we'd all have a nicer dinner together.

"When my siblings and I grew up, we still did it, "only instead of what happened before. "where branches broke off over time and did their own, "they decided we should include partners/spouses. "and our kids as a whole in one. "By the time I was 19, "the family had decided they would take turns. "hosting each month to lessen the burden. "My wife was excited to be part of them at first. "We started during our relationship. "I did the cooking to start, "and then she took over after a while because she wanted to. "My family had seemingly gotten along with my wife.

"before this point, "but they were overly harsh of her cooking, "with the exception of my two younger siblings. "She tried to make them happy but no dice. "I told them they could be kinder. "They said she should cook better or cook different things.". - Oh my god. - "My wife didn't make anything they don't normally eat, "but nothing was right. "She grew frustrated and I grew suspicious. "So we hosted a couple of months ago. "and I told my wife we were going. "to pretend I did the cooking just to see. "She told me she felt like they just weren't fond. "of her food. "I pointed out nobody had the same amount of complaints.

"as them and they even criticized the steak and potatoes. "they all seemed to go crazy for. "She went along with the plan. "And when my family thought I'd cooked it, they loved it.". - Oh my god. - "Said it was so good my wife had decided. "to let a real talent take over, "that it was so nice to have something a little different, "curry, and all this very lovely stuff. "My younger brother and sister weren't fooled, "but they enjoyed watching the rest. "of the family dig a hole. "When the rest of my family heard it was my wife's food. "and not mine, they tried so hard to backtrack. "on all the nice stuff.

"The rest of the dinner went into tense silence, "and my wife's eyes were opened. "I told her I was done with these dinners. "and she was my priority. "She felt a little bad. "I told her we could have dinners. "with my younger brother and sister sometimes. "It's less stressful anyway. "When we didn't show up to last month's dinner or this one, "my parents and siblings started asking questions. "I told them each time we weren't going again, "but missing two made it sink in. "They told me we need to be there. "I said never again. "My wife doesn't deserve their disrespect. "I told them they ruined what they wanted.

"by being assholes to her. "They said I was overreacting, "making very relationship harming choices, "and treating them badly for simply having issues. "with my wife's food. "They also said to think of future kids. "and how they'll miss out. "Some of it got to my wife a little, "which I have tried to reassure her about. "Am I the asshole?". Ooh. - I don't think there is ever a time that telling someone. that they're overreacting is a good idea. - Yeah. - [Chanse] I don't think there is such-.

- Any time I'm having an anxiety attack. and someone tells me to calm down, it works like a charm. - Yeah. Yeah. - But I think specifically the word "overreacting". is so bad. - It's awful. How are you gonna quantify my feelings and my emotions? - Overreacting is just super ineffective. And it's dumb when you think about it. 'cause it's just telling someone like, "Hey, don't feel what you're feeling right now.". - Yeah. - It's like, well, I'm already feeling it. - [Chanse] Yeah. - Your feelings aren't justified, man. Your feelings aren't justified. - I wonder if there's a version of it of,

I mean, not in this situation. In this situation, they're not overreacting. 'cause this is absolutely crazy. - Yeah. - But like saying like, "Hey, it's okay. "Like, the situation's not as bad as you might think it is,". or something, I don't know. But that's besides the point. - [Chanse] How do you even do that? - I think in this situation and in most situations. when people are worried if they're overreacting, they're typically not. And what I'm blown away by, and I think is a hard line rule, is if you're ever having dinner at someone else's place,

you just don't criticize the cooking. - Yeah. - Like, you're at their place. If someone is cooking food for you, I just don't think complaining is really in place for it. If you don't like the food and you leave and you go, "I didn't really like the food," that's fine. But to like say it to their face... I just can't believe it. - I have a theory. - Mm-hmm. - Based off of a personal connection. that I think when people...

It's okay, I'm allowed to say this. I think it's happening a little bit in my family right now, where when your family has a dynamic. that has been there since birth and since you're, it's just been there for a very long time. and people start to bring in chosen family. into the family dynamic, that is people like that they are engaged to. or like anybody that they're like, "Oh, this is gonna be my wife,". and they're coming into our family dynamic, that changes things up. because the patterns of behavior that have been going on.

that probably aren't the best. are identified by the new party. - There's a threat. - Like, this family is actively gonna lose him. and they've never felt like that before. He's been a part of their family. But when they act like this, he has to step up for his wife, which he is, which I think is great, and I think like-. - [Shayne] Absolutely. - I think he's so right to choose his, it's really rough, but it's right to choose who you're married to. - I wonder if he still sees them outside of the dinners.

- I don't know. To me, it reads a little bit, especially him saying, "It's my cooking,". and them being like, "This is incredible,". it kind of reads to me as a little bit like, "Oh, he's our precious little boy. "and you're not good enough for him.". - 100%. - That's what it's reading to me. - Yes, and I think it's... But I totally understand why the family was like, by the second time it really set in for them, and they're like, "Why? "Why? Why?". And they're just confused. because they don't understand that like, this is harmful and that this is his wife. That's so messed up. I would also be like, try to meet on mutual territory.

Like, can't they just go out or something? I know some people like to cook. - Yeah. - Sorry. I feel like I'm taking the energy out of the room. - I think tradition, it seems like a tradition they wanna hold onto. - This family's cooking. - But she's so, that's so mean. - It absolutely is. But it's amazing and it's rare in these Reddit stories. for the spouse to stick up for them. - [Chanse] Oh really? - We're not used to that. - I feel like in a lot of Reddit stories-. - They do. They are plenty of times they do.

But it feels like, I would say 70% of the time. when it's family related-. - Yeah. - The child will be like, "Oh my,". it's just like, "My parents do this. "Like, don't worry about it.". - That's what I'm saying is it's great that he's stopping it. and he's recognizing it now with his wife there. that there's more to lose. Like, maybe we get used to family dynamics, but then sometimes you bring in new people. and you're like, "Oh, this was never cool.". - She didn't even think that it was true. - She was kind of like defending the family almost.

- Yeah. - She was like, "Oh yeah, it's okay.". And he was the one who's putting his foot down going, "No, it's not.". So really props to him. - [Chanse] Yeah. - Comments. "Not the asshole. "It's pretty clear the issue isn't her food, it's her. "For whatever reason, they don't seem to like her. "Good for you for standing up to them.". OP responded, "Having that confirmed sucked badly, "but I wasn't going to pretend it was okay. "to treat her this way either. "They wouldn't come right out and say it either. "They tried to hide behind the food.". Someone else said, "Not the asshole. "Your kids won't be missing much, "other than the company of toxic relatives.

"who treat their mother poorly, "yet she is too kind to hold a grudge. "Why do some of your family treat her like that? "Do they treat all in-laws this poorly?". OP said, "No, just my wife. "The others are treated fine.". Someone said, "Start a new tradition with your younger brother and sister. "Invite them only to your house. "Forget the rest of them.". He said, "That's the plan.". - Good for him though. - Is this at all something you guys relate to? Like, as far as having dated someone. that your family wasn't fond of or like vice versa?

- I... I was... - Are you gonna-. - Yeah, I'm gonna talk about it a little bit. - Okay. - I was like seeing someone, and we went home to visit his family in, yeah, wherever. And I got there and it was winter, and I was kind of pale, and I had a hat on and I was blowing out my hair. so I didn't look like, I looked white. I looked white. Okay? Or just like not like,

and like I think I'm pretty white passing for sometimes. But I was white passing for sure. I was wearing like a polo or whatever. Not that that says I'm white, but that's white passing for sure. (everyone laughs). - It increases the whiteness by-. - It definitely increases the whiteness. I'm wearing like Vans or some shit. (everyone laughs). And I get there and immediately the family starts talking. about like race stuff. in a really, really, really potent way in that I was like-.

- Like, immediately? - Like, it was like right off the bat. Like, they were like ready to talk about this. with their son who's back. They're like, and it was during the like George Floyd stuff, so it was like tensions were high. and these were people who were isolated from, they like live in a cabin on a lake away from, so it's only what they hear. from their other family in cities and their Fox News. So they were heated and ready to talk about it.

And immediately I was like, I have never felt more, I'm in a cabin. I felt like "Get Out". I was in a cabin on a lake. with all these white people talking. about like how people deserve to die and all this shit, and like we need to, like all this crazy shit! - We tried to get him on a plane so bad. - I had to text Moon Goon, my comedy group, and I was like, you guys, we were supposed to sleep in an apartment. They moved us to the basement. where there were no doors that I could lock. - I was like, "Share your location with me!". - I was sleeping on a couch.

I was supposed to have a bed. And then it was all these things going on. I ended up sleeping in the bathroom. 'cause it was the only door that I could lock. Girl... - No, this story, I can't believe-. - And then other in-laws were supposed to come. And I was like, "Please let there be non-white in-laws.". Girl, there was one other non-white in-law. It was an Asian guy and his wife was white. and she was related to the family. And they got there. They started doing the same thing. My date drove me.

They got there, they left in 15 minutes, and I was like, "Please don't leave me! No! "Please!". - Oh my god. - And then my date had to end up going, well, my date was sitting there like not saying anything. while they're like going on this rant. And so then he has to like take 'em, like later that night he takes them, I'm like running away. He takes them and he's like, "Just so you know, like Chanse is, "like Chanse is half Black. "Like, all those things you said...". But I was also like, this is when I knew it wasn't gonna work 'cause I was like, "Why didn't you stand up for me while they were speaking?".

- Yeah! Did he not even clock it? Was it one of those situations where he was like, "Oh, I didn't think about that"? - At first he didn't clock it, but then he was like, and we had had a lot... I should have known that this would've been his family. because of all the conversations we had over the years. And a lot of it was me educating him on like race. and like what Blackness is and what whiteness is.

and the invisibility that comes with it. And so he learned a lot, and so I should have been prepared. for where he came from to be the place. that he would've come from. - And like you don't have to be at the table. for you to have want him to stop that conversation. - No. - Yeah. - Like, you know what I mean? You being there doesn't stop the fact. that he should have ended that. - Right then and there. - Like, you don't have to be visiting. for him to shut that down. - No. - It should have been shut down. - Yeah. - But in some family dynamics-.

- In some family dynamics, and this is very much like the dad speaks. and when the dad is speaking, you don't speak until spoken to. - So how did you feel alienated? - Yeah. I'm like... So yes. I have my own Reddit story coming. - That's why I looked at you like, you gonna do this? - I was like... I didn't share that too many-. - No, you did a great job. - There's a lot of details. - Oh, I'm sure. - But that's on an anonymous form. Look out for it. - Oh my god. - You'll be like, that's the one. - But yeah, I think like, just to bring it back,

like it's crazy how family has a pull over some people. And it's great to see that this guy was just like, "No, the bullshit stops here.". - [Chanse] Yep. - [Shayne] Yeah. - For my wife. - Yeah. Wow. Okay. Our next story comes from Am I The Asshole. "Am I the asshole for refusing to demote my dog. "after my sister gave her baby the same name?". We have read many stories like this. - Demote? - I feel like, yeah. - Demote. - What is demote?

- Demote my dog from-. - I'm assuming as previous stories on Reddit have been like, when a family member has a kid. and they have the same name as a pet. that's already in the family, they're like, "You need to change the name of your pet. "so that they're not the same name.". - (beep) no. (crew laughs). - There was a-. - The pet was there first. So there's a famous story where a guy had a cat named Nigel. and then someone had a-. - Well, that's your first mistake. Don't you name your baby Nigel. - They didn't name, no. It was a fiance that came into the family.

- Oh. - And they started calling the fiance Human Nigel. (everyone laughs). 'Cause the cat was named Nigel. (laughs). So there's Nigel and Human Nigel. - That's awesome. That's awesome. - Yeah, there's been several stories. There was one where I think someone. had a pug named like Doug or something, and then someone had a fiance named Doug. So they started calling him Doug 2. - That's awesome. - It's incredible. - That's fun though. - That's awesome. - Just take a (beep) nickname. - Oh, dude, I'd be all in on that. - Yeah, if my brother's daughter comes out named Spork,

I'm like, hell yeah, welcome to the family. - If I met someone and they're like, "My cat's name is Shayne," I'd be like, "No way!". (everyone laughs). I'd be stoked. All right. "I, 26-year-old woman, have a dog named Charlie. "Charlie is a golden retriever I adopted four years ago, "and he's my best buddy. "My sister, Emily, who's 29, "recently had her first child, a baby boy. "She and her husband named him Charlie.". - You... I... - "At first I thought it was funny. "and didn't really think much of it,

"but then Emily pulled me aside during a family gathering. "and said it was confusing and disrespectful. "for me to keep calling my dog Charlie. "now that her son has the same name. "She asked me to rename my dog. "I told her no. "Charlie has been his name for four years. "He knows it, responds to it, and it's on all his paperwork. "Changing it would be weird for him and for me. "She got really upset and said it's not fair for her son. "to share a name with a dog, especially in family settings. "She thinks it'll lead to jokes. "and confusion as her son grows up.

"My parents have weighed in, "and while my dad says it's ridiculous. "to expect me to change my dog's name, "my mom says I should just consider it to keep the peace. "Now Emily's barely speaking to me. "and a few family members think I'm being stubborn. "I have no idea how I'm in the wrong here. "The world's gone crazy. "I love my dog, and I didn't name him to spite anyone. "I also think it's not my fault they chose a name. "already in use in the family. "Am I the asshole?". - No. - Yeah, no. - I'd say you have the right of way 'cause you were first.

- Yeah. - If it was the other way, I feel like it's who's first. - They willingly name their son Charlie knowing that-. - The dog is named Charlie. - The dog is named Charlie. - For years. - That's just the case. And like especially with a kid, it's like, you're making that choice. You know, even with fiance situations, I'm almost like, I'm sorry, that's the pet's name. Like, that's their name. - Yeah. - I feel like it's easier to change your name as a human. Pets' names, it's hard to change them, to get them to listen to something else. My dog can't hear as it is. If I changed it up on him,

it would be so hard to get him to like respond. - He'd be so confused. - Honestly, you know what I would do? The most I would do, if my sister stopped talking to me over this, I'd be like, "Fine, my dog's Charles, "but we're not losing Charl, Char, Char," you know? - Yeah. - We're not losing the Charl part. - I'd be like, "We'll do like his God given name.". - Uh-huh. Charles, the dog. - The name the queen would call him, but I'm not changing his name entirely. - Yeah, no, that's absolutely insane.

Comments here. "There was a post years ago about a guy. "who had a cat named Nigel and his sister. "or roommate started dating someone named Nigel, "so they called the cat Nigel and the guy Human Nigel. "Charlie the dog is already Charlie. "It shouldn't be a big deal. "Baby Charlie doesn't care, only the parents do. "If it was a problem, they could have easily prevented it. "You are not the asshole.". Lastly, someone said, "Adopt a second dog, name it Emily.". - I was about to say the same thing. - Wait, wait, wait.

You know what's kind of funny though? - What? - You know how sometimes you meet someone, they're like, "Oh, Angela's my middle name. "My first name is Charlie, "but we had to change it 'cause my brother had a dog.". Like, it is kind of funny. to think about. - That's pretty funny. That is pretty funny. I hate to say this, I am a little skeptical of this story. I'm a little skeptical it could be AI. - Yeah. - And I'll tell you why, reading it, they use a semicolon in perfect form. And I'm like-.

- And no one uses a semicolon! - Nobody's using semicolons. Nobody's using semicolons here. The story's a little too perfectly just kinda laid out. - Okay, here's my question. Why are AI stories on Reddit? What's the-. - People are farming karma. Like, karma is kinda like how you generate a profile. on Reddit, so if you post things. and it gets a lot of interaction, your profile gets more karma-. - And then you get-. - And then you kinda like, your posts get seen by more people. It's kind of being an influencer on Reddit.

Being verified. It's a little bit like verification. - 'Cause I've never understood the incentive. to make a fake story, but now I get it. - Yeah. People farm it, and it's really lame. But there are some things AI can't do. and that's like misspelling and bad grammar. - And using grammar a little wrong. - Most stories we read have some bad grammar that we fix. or misspellings and I'm always kind of grateful for it. 'cause I'm like, a human typed that out. But nobody's using semicolons. - And it was kind of perfectly like, here's the situation. - Here's the situation. - What do I do?

How do I always, yeah. - Yeah, there's not a single grammar mistake in here. "My parents have weighed in," comma, "and while my dad says it's ridiculous to expect me. "to change my dog's name," comma, "my mom says I should," quotations, "just consider it,". end quotations, "to keep the peace," period. I'm like, that's a God damn good sentence. - Have you guys seen the video of the Waymo crashing. into the Postmates cart? - No. (Angela laughs). - [Emily] Yes! (laughs). - That's what I feel like. We're just like (laughs). Whoops! My robot hit yours!

Whoops! This is a fake (beep) story! - Look, I've been-. - Remind me to send you the video. It's so (beep) funny. They just turn (laughs). - Look, I've spoken about how I feel about AI. I'm very scared by it. I don't like it. But it will be funny 'cause all the sci-fi books. for decades were like, "AI is gonna take over the world.". What if we finally create true artificial intelligence. and it's an idiot? - Yeah. - That's why this video. is so funny. - And it's really stupid. Like, what if it's really dumb? - They both just literally collide.

- Guys, we've created a new intelligence and it's an idiot. - And we're embarrassed. And we shouldn't have. - And God comes down, he's like, "Now you know how I felt.". - Yeah, yeah. He's like, "Look at you (beep).". - [Shayne] We're like, "Wow, okay.". - Okay, well thanks, Charlie. - Yeah, thanks, Charlie. Fake dog. (Angela laughs). - But if this is real, I'm sorry. - We don't know. That's also ultimately the thing, we don't really know. That's what sucks. But that's our speculation. - And could have been a real story. and then used AI to make it. - That's also what I wonder sometimes.

Some people might not feel confident. in typing out a story so they use it. - Yeah. - I still-. - [Chanse] Yeah. - We don't know that. And ultimately people farm-. - And we wanna hear your voice. - People farm karma on Reddit all the time. - I want things written by Human Nigel. - Yeah. - Today's "Reddit Stories" is brought to you by Zocdoc. We've all woken up with a scratchy throat. or just feeling a little bit off, and we've gone to Google trying to figure out. what's wrong with us. We've all gone down that rabbit hole. But now it's time to get the care you really need. with Zocdoc. Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search.

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Okay, next story. "Am I the asshole for doing a half-ass job. "taking family pictures at a wedding. "after being told to shut up and stop being a smart ass?". You know this one's real. (everyone laughs). You know right off the bat this one's real. - Also, families and weddings... - Boy. - It's the coffee in the creamer. - [Shayne] Wild. - It's creamer in my coffee. - "I was taking pictures at a family wedding as a favor. "I was being paid about half of what I normally charge, "and I was fine with it. "The bride is my favorite cousin,

"and her husband is amazing. "During the formals, the wedding party was great. "and I got lots of great shots. "When it came time to take pictures. "of different family groups with the couple, "people were assholes. "They wouldn't stop talking or looking away from the camera. "I tried politely reminding everyone. "that the camera was the big black thing on the tripod. "and that it took still images, not video. "I was repeatedly told to shut up and stop being a smart ass. "and that they knew what a camera was. "I asked my wife to record a video of the responses for me.

"My cousin was delighted with the pictures. "from the ceremony, the formals, and the reception. "She laughed her ass off at the family pictures. "In about half of them people are looking off. "in all directions instead of at the camera. "In most of those, there are also people. "with their mouths open. "She thought they were hilarious and her husband agreed. "I started getting shit on social media from my family. "about the terrible pictures. "I replied that I had tried to explain to them. "that the camera was the big black thing on the tripod. "and that it only took still pictures. "They said I should have waited for them to be ready.

"So I started posting short video clips. "of people being jackasses.". - That's awesome. That's sick as hell. - "My mom said that I went too far. "and that they won't ask me to take pictures for them again. "I did a fake cry and said, 'Boohoo.'. "She called me a smart aleck. "Please let me state that I do not think I am the asshole. "in the situation, but many people do. "They're upset because they don't often dress up. "and get together and they didn't get good pictures.". - There's also, I don't know how he was telling them, but like it sounds like he's already kind of rude.

in general. - Saying like the camera's the big black thing. on the tripod. - And like if I'm drunk at a wedding, I'm gonna be like, "What an asshole.". - Sure. - Just be like, "Hey guys, and we're over here. "in three, two. "We're right here, "and this is the last time we're gonna take...". I guess that takes a lot of energy too. - Wrangling people is tough. Wrangling drunk people. - Angela's really good at it. - You are? - It's weird. It's like I'm Caesar Milan. - You're the Caesar Milan... Dude, that's such a good sketch idea. The Caesar Milan of drunk people.

Oh my god. - Thank you for knowing my talents. I understand 'cause he's getting half his rate. so his patience is probably low. - Yeah. He's doing this fully as a favor. - But then you still gotta give it your all, and that's probably a part of... I bet this isn't his first wedding. where it's hard to get everyone to look at the, like to focus in. But I think the only possible assholey thing. is posting those videos without like permission. and just being like, "(beep) you guys.

"Look at you guys being crazy.". - Well, it's also like you wanna comment on social media. how bad the pictures are, bitch, I'll show you why they're bad. right here and right now. Don't comment on my profile telling me. how the pictures are bad when you were the reason. Here's the reason. You. Look at your comment. Now you look stupid. - You know what it makes me think of? 'Cause this happens a lot, right? It's no longer just celebrities. who like get called out if their behavior's bad. or they say something wrong. Like, people in public, if you're gonna say a horrible thing to someone, people are filming and it might get posted.

and you might get outed as being like, saying this awful thing. And what people often respond with is like, "Well, you don't know the full context. "You don't know what that person was saying to me.". And it's like, too bad. You said what you said. Like, if you're being a jackass to someone, if you're saying something that's gonna make you look bad, even kind of out of context, it's like you kind of have to be aware of that nowadays. I'm not saying that's right or wrong. I'm saying like, that's kind of the reality we're in sometimes. - Yeah. - It is tough 'cause I guess, I'd say the only thing. that I could maybe see this person being an asshole.

is talking to this cousin before they post it. because by posting this stuff, it is going to stir up stuff. - Totally. - It might cause like stuff for them. because it was their wedding and people might go, "Oh, I didn't know I was being filmed. "and that this was gonna...". - Yeah, yeah. - But I'm getting the vibe. that the cousin probably wouldn't care. - Yeah. Like, I understand it's sad, like when the family's like, "We needed those pictures. "We were all together," like whatever. "We all dressed up.".

But at the end of the day, if the bride was happy, it sounds like the bride and the groom didn't care. - And that's kind of all that matters. - Yep. - Comments. "Not the asshole. "The photos are an accurate reflection. "of their behavior on the day. "The only people whose opinions matter about the photos. "are the bride and groom that hired you. "They like it, then no issue. "They've embarrassed themselves. "and don't like that their online tantrum. "turned around on them. "It's easier to be right until evidence comes forward.". Someone said, "I used to do wedding photography, "and this happened from time to time. "I sometimes assume that the disrespect. "was due to me being a woman. "and sometimes that they were just oblivious or drunk.

"I would try to make comments the same way you did. "to various results. "The bottom line is that if they want good photos, "they have a responsibility to cooperate. "It's stunning how many people don't get that. "They are jerks for not cooperating and then blaming you. "You did what you could with what they gave you.". Lastly, someone said, "Everyone sucks here, "but not for taking half-ass photos. "You get what you pay for. "and this is why you don't ask a family member. "to take photos of your big event. "because it causes more drama if everyone isn't satisfied.". - That's so true. - "But ultimately they're the ones.

"who didn't take you seriously, "so the shitty pictures are on them, "but you did feel the need. "to air your family's dirty laundry over social media. "instead of taking the high road and just ignoring it. "So yeah, that's an asshole move and means you suck too.". - Okay, that's the biggest point here is like hiring family. for those things. - It also brings in context. of people were not taking this photographer seriously. 'cause it's a family member. - Yeah. - So they're just like, "Oh, Uncle Nick is telling us to take photos. "Like, ah, screw it.". Like, I do think like when you have someone you don't know.

and it's like that's the photographer, generally, I would hope more people. are gonna at least take a little more seriously. - Yeah. - But if it's a family member, it's easy to kind of shrug it off. - Yeah, it's tough when you like hire, I had a friend like hire a lot of friends to do her wedding. and it's just a different environment. because she also wanted her friends. to enjoy the wedding as well. - [Shayne] Tough. - But then it's like you're on the clock. and you're also not, and you're also enjoying yourself and drinking and dancing. It's like, it's kind of-. - [Shayne] Yeah. - It's a blurred line a little bit. - There's a lot of situations, and I mean, I think I relate to this.

as far as the industry goes, right, if you're doing a project. of this thing of like, okay, if I'm gonna work with friends. It's like I want to like pay you. Like, this has to be a professional thing. because if it's friends, it's a different dynamic sometimes. And that can be stressful. - Yeah. - Can bring about a lot of stuff. So yeah, I think with weddings it's certainly one. you wanna like draw that line. - Yeah, because they could just be mad at somebody else. and you're like, "Yeah, take it to Yelp. "I hired them. Whatever.".

You don't have to personally be upset. - And once the wedding's done, they're out of the picture. - That's true. - Our next story... Are we ready? - Yeah. - This was from 14 days ago. Are you ready, Kermit the Frog? - Yes. (everyone laughs). - Okay. So this is recent. "Am I the asshole for having two twin beds in my guest room. "instead of a queen. "and refusing to let my in-laws change the room?". - Oh. - Yeah. - Let 'em push it together. - "Hi, Reddit. "This happened earlier this year,

"and my in-laws are no longer staying with me. "Background info. "My husband and I, both 24, have been married for two years. "I'm a social worker and my husband works as an electrician. "We own a three bed, two bath together. "We have our bedroom, our home office, and a guest bedroom. "My state's foster care system. "is one of the worst in the country. "There isn't anywhere close to enough foster homes. "to meet the total number of children in care. "As a result of this, children often get stuck at hospitals, "psych facilities, group homes, et cetera. "Oftentimes we have children that have to sleep.

"at the CPS facility in sleeping bags on the floor. "because there's just nowhere for them to go. "It's very common for social workers. "to bring children home with them, myself included. "It's hard to find emergency placements for siblings. "So if I can't find a place for them for the night. "to keep them together, "I will often just bring them home with me. "My husband and I are child free, "but he's super supportive of this. "So our guest bedroom has two twin beds, "both with pullout beds underneath. "This means that I can give four children their own beds. "for the night.". - Like, two separate sets of siblings.

- "Earlier this year, my husband's brother. "and his wife were temporarily homeless. "They lost their jobs and couldn't renew their lease. "They had to scramble to find new jobs and a place to live. "We let them stay with us for two months. "I didn't really want to, but it was the right thing to do. "They were very pissed about the two twin beds thing. "Because of the way the beds' frames are, "you cannot push the beds together. "and the room is a little small and oddly shaped, "so you can't fit a queen air mattress in the room. "without taking the twin beds out. "We don't have a garage, "so there would be nowhere to put the beds.

"They wanted me to get rid of the beds. "or put them in a storage unit. "so they could put a queen air mattress in the room. "I refused because I didn't want. "to go through all that trouble. "when they shouldn't be staying for long anyways, "and I worked hard to get the room to look a way. "that I feel is welcoming to kids. "and I don't wanna change it. "I didn't tell them this, "but I also didn't want them to get too comfortable. "with the room because I don't want them to be tempted. "to stay for any longer than necessary. "I would rather house kids in unstable situations. "than my ungrateful in-laws. "My husband took my side.

"and told them to get a hotel if they don't like it, "but otherwise shut up. "He said that if they keep complaining, "they'll have to leave. "He's a good husband. "My in-laws have been telling everyone who will listen. "that we're assholes who made them sleep in kids' beds. "My husband has been telling his whole family. "to (beep) off basically and don't talk to us. "unless you have something nice to say. "Am I the asshole, Reddit? "There's like a dozen people who think we're assholes, "so I'd like some judgment.". - How would they... In what world? - I know.

I don't understand that. - Me either, yeah. - I mean, even outside of the situation, you go stay somewhere and if they have two twin beds, it's just like, all right, that's your situation. I'm not demanding you change the layout of your home. - It's not about their home, it's about their situation. And this is what you have. - Like, I mean, it's shitty to say. but like if I was in a horrible situation like them, I'd just be grateful to have a room. - I don't think they understand the reality. of their situation, it feels like, 'cause you can't really get a free place. and get what you want inside of it.

- Yeah. - [Chanse] Yeah. - I mean, you have to have an "I Love Lucy" situation. for a while. Like, that's fine. It's kind of sweet. - Yeah. - Kinda cute. - Yeah. You know, just figure it out. - I feel like there's information that we're missing. - Probably. I feel like with every Reddit story probably. - Yeah. - I mean, how anyone could call these people assholes. when what they're using this room for on a daily basis. is like so-. - I was gonna say. - [Shayne] So kind. - They have such a like gold medal with this excuse.

They're like, "Well, we're helping kids.". - Yeah. - And you're like, okay, well-. - What can I do? - Can't argue after that. Go to a hotel. - Yeah, well I'm a giant baby. - Yeah, it's like... - Clearly. - And me and my wife also a giant baby. - Yeah, we're both giant babies. Comments here. The verdict, not the asshole, obviously. Comments. "They have a lot of demands for people who get free housing. "Don't let them come back. "Those kids sound like they need a place to stay. "a lot more than those spoiled in-laws. "If anyone takes their side, tell them to house those two.

"By the way, I'm happy that people like you. "and your husband exist.". Someone else said, "Not the asshole. "Tell them that it is possible to have sex in a twin bed. "Draw them diagrams if necessary. "Since they're your in-laws, "use only stick figures in the diagrams.". OP responded, "Funny enough, I did hint at that. "I told them I'm not trying to (beep) block them, "but it's my room and they're not changing it. "It's up to them how they want to use the room, but yeah.". Lastly, someone said, "I've been homeless. "and I've been put up in box rooms with tiny beds. "Know what I did? "Thank them profusely. "because they didn't have to help me at all.

"They are choosing beggars. "It's not their room. "They don't get to critique the facilities. "And your hubby is right. "If they don't like it, they can go to a hotel. "Not the asshole.". - They are not. There's no way. Like, I just can't even find one reason why it could be rude. 'cause they're just being kind. - It reminds me of earlier, it's like you don't critique the food. of someone who's cooking for you. - Yeah. - And you don't like critique the layout of a place. if someone's offering you a place to stay. - Yeah. - Those are just situations. Like, I am kind of a believer of like,

you're in their house, like that's their house. - For free. - Learn how to have sex on a twin bed. - Yeah. Learn how to cuddle on a twin bed. - But also I don't think they're probably having sex. 'cause they seem so high maintenance. that they both need to get it in at some point. So maybe they should go to a hotel. (everyone laughs). - Okay. Our next story. This one is wild. I've read this one. - Okay. - [Shayne] And it's a good one. - I've rarely heard you say a story's wild, so,

and I've heard some wild shit, so... - Well, this one's really good. - Oh (beep). - "Am I the asshole for taking my daughter to Disneyland?". - Okay. But what else is going on during Disneyland? - What is happening? (crew laughs). - Don't trust! Sorry. - "I kind of already think I'm not, "but my family is convincing me I am. "I, a 28-year-old woman, went on a vacation. "with my daughter, who's five, and my husband, who's 29,

"as a last vacation before we're a family of four. "I'm seven months pregnant, "and we wanted to spend some time with our daughter. "before her brother was born. "When I was around 13, me, my mom, my dad, "and my little brother went on a Disneyland vacation. "It was fun and all until my dad left his phone in the hotel. "and they wouldn't give it back to us. "He had to get a new one, "and my mom and dad were so upset that we never went back. "I thought this was irrational. "since it was my mom's favorite place. "We went at least once a year growing up. "After that whole ordeal, my mom hated it.

"So when me and my husband wanted to go. "on a before baby arrives vacation, "we decided to go to Disneyland for around three days. "My daughter loves the princesses and the idea of magic, "so when we told her, she was overjoyed. "I told my mom when we were at lunch together. "that we were going on a trip, "and when I told her it was Disneyland, she was enraged. "I was extremely confused. "because I honestly thought she forgot about it. "She called me a back stabber and just really rude words. "She stormed out of the restaurant, "and I paid and left a few minutes later.

"A few hours later, my dad called me and screamed at me. "that this family doesn't go to Disney. "If you weren't such a spoiled little B word, "you would understand that. "I was shocked. "It was my money...". (Angela laughs). "It was my money I was spending. "and I thought everyone was over it. "My mom texted me a long paragraph. "about how she would go no contact. "and wouldn't be my mother anymore if I still went.". - No. - "The trip was already paid for, so I responded, "'Okay, I guess you only have a son now,' and blocked her.

"I've gotten at least 60 calls from my family. "and a few texts telling me I'm wrong. "We still went and got back yesterday. "We all had a blast, "and my daughter rode her first big girl rollercoaster. "She loved every minute of it. "So in my opinion, it was all worth it. "So am I the asshole?". - Wait, what happened with their family at Disney? - This is as confusing as it sounds. - Their phone got stuck in a hotel? - [Chanse] And they wouldn't give it back? - They wouldn't give the phone back. So because forever ago they lost a phone at Disneyland, the family hates it so much that she's like,

"Oh, we're going to Disneyland.". And she goes, the parents are like, "How (beep) dare you?". - Like, the House of Mouse is their enemy. - We are no contact because you're going to Disneyland. - I still need to know the inciting incident. Like, what happened? - The phone! - Okay, let me reread it. - The phone? - [Shayne] Let me reread it. - The phone? - "It was fun and all until my dad left his phone. "in the hotel and they wouldn't give it back to us. "He had to get a new one. "And my mom and dad were so upset that we never went back. "I thought this was irrational.

"since it was my mom's favorite place.". - There's something missing here. There's something missing here. - [Emily] What do we think it is? - Because he loses his phone at the hotel. and they won't give it back. Why won't they give it back? - They usually give it back. - And it's assuming. that they have it. - What's on the phone? - What's on the phone? - I already felt it. (Angela squeals). There's something going on at Disneyland. and I don't know what it is. Somebody's up to no good. - What the (beep) is on the phone?

- What's on the phone, Shayne? (crew laughs). - Let's read some comments. - Shayne! - No, you have to-. - What's on the phone? - I'm not gonna tell you. what's on the phone. - Can you read it. as quickly as you can? - [Shayne] I'm not gonna read you what's on the phone. - I don't really care, you gotta get to the phone. - Comments. "Not the asshole. "You're well within your rights. "to take your daughter on holiday to a location you choose. "with your money." - 100%. But what's on the phone? - "I feel like something else. "happened at Disney that you're not aware of. "to make your parents hate it so much. "It seems totally irrational for her to act the way she is, "especially jumping to no contact over this.".

- What if she (beep) the mouse? - [Shayne] Someone else said, "Not the-". - And there's a video of it on the phone. - "Not the asshole. "Your mom and dad need to get over their bad experience, "and it genuinely does sound bad, of 15 years ago. "Sure, they can choose to boycott Disney for life. "if that makes them feel better, but they've got no right. "to impose their feelings onto you like this, "especially to the extent. "that they're being abusive to you about it. "For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing. "by ignoring their childish behavior and going. "I suspect they'll get over it in time, "but there's no way you should ever apologize. "because you've done nothing wrong.". OP responded, "It definitely was bad.

"Caused a bunch of issues and a lot of fights, "and I definitely boycotted Disney with them. "'cause I do agree it shouldn't have happened. "But their reaction was uncalled for, in my opinion. "I also feel like going no contact. "and not wanting to be my parents anymore. "because the way I spend my money is insane.". I agree. - [Angela] What's on the phone? - Update! (Chanse squeals). - Go. (everyone laughs). - Okay. - What could he have seen on the phone? - I don't know.

- "Holy shit. LOL. "I truly didn't expect this to go viral. "I'm getting ready for work and just, wow. "So last night I unblocked my mom, messaged her, "and basically said, 'I want to talk. "'I know that our last fight was really messy, "'but I wanna meet up for lunch and talk.'. "And she responded. "She said yes, and we're meeting up today. "My dad is also coming. "because I want an apology from him for what he called me. "I truly can't even process the phone call that happened. "I wanna get answers as fast as possible. "because I've seen so many comments. "saying this wasn't over a phone.

"I have a really bad memory and this was 15 years ago, "but I remember most of it. "because that whole situation was very messy. "I will definitely be updating you guys after the lunch. "I've also seen people saying my parents. "might not like Disney because they're more liberal. "I don't think that's the reason though. "15 years ago though was very different as well. "I'll ask that when we meet up, "but I don't see it as a real reason. "I've also seen people saying it's very unreasonable. "to go no contact, very limited contact because of this, "which I agree with. "I think she was just saying that to scare me,

"which is still very gross. "But we still went and she messaged me back, "so I guess we will just see. "My husband also might come with me. "because I don't know how my parents will react. "when I ask them my questions. "They know we still went, so I'm not too scared, "but I can't be sure. "I'll update with how the lunch goes soon.". - Okay. And now? - And about the no contact thing, about the threat of no contact thing. You don't unsheath the sword if you're not ready to use it. - What happened at the restaurant? - Boom. - Boom. - Let's talk.

Chanse, let's talk about that because-. - No! No! (Shayne laughs). - And the original expression is don't pull out the gun-. - Was he like watching porn on his phone. or something in line? And they took it away? Like, my brain's going nuts. - Ooh, okay. - Like, Snow White porn or some shit. - All right. Final update. Place your bets. What happened? - Shayne! - I don't wanna hear what you think. I don't wanna hear what you think. I wanna hear what happened. (Shayne laughs). - Okay, fine. "Well, here it is, fellas. "Your final update. "Around 1:00 PM yesterday we went to lunch.

"My husband didn't come. "because he had an important meeting at his work.". - Great for him. - "I wasn't that scared anyway. "because we were going to a pretty popular restaurant. "and it wasn't like I would be alone with them.". - I ordered the rainbow roll. It was delicious. It wasn't too warm. - I ordered the rainbow roll. It was delicious. (everyone laughs). - "We got there and I sat down. "I started talking to my mom and dad. "and started asking my questions. "It was mostly just, 'Why would you get so mad?'. "And, 'It's my money, and I wanted to take my daughter. "'on a fun vacation with her parents. "'before she has a brother.'.

"And I was met with them gaslighting me. "and thinking because they don't love Disney, I can't go. "I was on the verge of tears and leaving. "So I asked my final question. "that I really wanted an answer on. "This can't be over a (beep) phone. "There has to be something going on. "to make you blow up like this. "They then told me what really happened.". - Okay. - "So my dad did actually leave his phone. "When housekeeping went to clean the room. "for the next family to arrive, "the woman who was cleaning took the phone. "and took it to lost and found. "She saw my mom's contact on my dad's little smartphone.

"and called her and we went to pick it back up. "But the woman also saw another contact that said, 'Baby.'". - I knew it. I knew it. - "My dad was cheating. "for a good year to year and a half. "She told my mom, "and my mom blamed that woman for ruining her marriage. "by telling her. "That's why they hated Disney, "because it ruined their marriage. "I walked out after that. "I didn't pay either. "I don't think I'm gonna talk to them after this. "Only if my daughter and son want to. "They betrayed my trust and never apologized either.

"for what they called me a few days ago. "I don't know why we never got the phone back. "Probably will never know. "But here's the official ending-". - What! - "Of this crazy-ass story.". - That... The amount of deflection is-. - So you don't go to the House of Mouse? (crew laughs). Because the... Oh. She's not even mad at the girl he was sleeping with. 'cause that's usually what people do when people are mad, wrongfully mad at cheating situations. They get mad at who they're cheating on. - Not the messenger. - You're getting mad on the setting in which you found out.

Not even the place they were (beep). - Yeah. - The place that you found out they were (beep). - Yeah. - You know, it's like, oh, the worst thing. that could have possibly happened to me happened. You know what we should do about it? Never go to the happiest place on earth ever again. That'll solve it. - It's almost like a spell. It's almost like I'm gonna redirect all of this energy. into this magical, magical place. 'cause it's the only place that can probably save it.

or ward it off. - I don't even think it has to do with it's magic or not. I think it's so (beep) random and bizarre. - No, but this is, but people do this all the time, right? - What? They take it out on the land? - They take it out on just all sorts of things. other than the actual problem. - I just (laughs). - The land? They take it out on the land? - So (beep) bizarre. - It is so weird. - No, she blamed specifically, she blamed the housekeeper. - For going through the phone. - For being like, oh, you told me, like... Don't tell me that. Because you told me, you ruined my marriage. And so...

(Angela laughs). I think the mom can't go back to Disneyland. and can't think about Disneyland. 'cause it makes her have to confront this thing-. - This housekeeper? - That she clearly hasn't confronted. They clearly didn't deal with this after. - No, because their logic-. - They clearly just shoved it away. - Their logic is so (beep) twisted. - They did leave it at Disneyland. - I don't trust these people. - They pulled a Vegas. They go, "What happened at Disneyland. "stays at Disneyland-" - Stays at Disneyland. - "So we never go back.". There is so much energy there. that's been built up for 15 years-. - Yeah. - That is now being blown up immediately at the daughter. - This is crazy 'cause it's not even like Disney proper.

It's the hotel. - It's literally like-. - Can they not watch Disney movies? What is that? "Frozen". Get that off the TV! - That Elsa reminds me of when your dad. was (beep) another woman! What are you talking about? - I want so bad. that their Disney trip, like the girlfriend. that he was sleeping with was there. and they interacted multiple times in line. and they just don't know it. I want the universe to work like that. (crew laughs). - This is so (beep) wild. - It always blows my mind when the cheater is not the one.

who like gets blamed. - 100%. And this is like-. - It always blows my mind, but it happens so often. because I think then you have to deal with it. You have to really acknowledge, "Oh, my reality's gone.". - Yeah. Oh, like I'm not grounded at all. Like, there's nothing about this A plus B equals (beep) C. - Go after the daughter makes zero sense. - They're like, "She went on her first big roller coaster,". and they're like, "Well, I went on my own (beep) roller coaster. "and that was (beep) betrayal.". - You know what's wild about this too is the parents, both of them are telling her this.

- Yeah. - They're telling her this as if she's in the wrong. - Yeah. - I'm sorry, it's insensitive I'm laughing. I just cannot believe this took that turn. I thought we were mad at Disneyland for something they did. - Can I tell you? I knew it. I felt it. I was like, he is cheating at Disney. I thought it was gonna be at... I thought it was gonna be at least at Disneyland. - Yeah. - It's not even there! - So that there's a cursed memory to it. - Yeah. - I mean, there is a bad memory to it, but-. - You just found out that he was cheating at,

like he wasn't cheating at Disneyland, but you found out there. That doesn't make any sense. - Once my dad was really, really hungry. and he was in a grumpy mood, and for some reason we were going. to this sandwich place, Todo's? - [Emily] Togo's? - Togo's. Togo's. And they (beep) up our order, and my dad got so angry, he said we can never go back there again. And I feel like I haven't been since, 'cause I'm loyal to my father. 'cause they (beep) up his tuna. But like... (everyone laughs). But this is like, this is like... - Next level. - I just will never forget the image of my dad going,

"We're never going to Togo's again!". - It's so funny. That makes sense though. - Yeah. This is-. - That somehow makes more sense. - This is just... - Man. That gets the award for the best story. - I'm glad she still went. - Oh yeah. - Could you imagine being isolated. from your parents? - She's saying she might not, she might not talk to her parents again after this. - But could you imagine being isolated by the people. who raised you because they're lying to each other? - Yeah. - And it has nothing to do with you, but their lack of communication and like honesty. - What a bombshell of like, oh, you guys are stupid.

and like really mean to each other and to me. Well... Moving on. (everyone laughs). - That was one of the most wild ones I've read. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's unfortunately really funny. (Angela laughs). Like, very dark but very funny. Like, the reveal of like, oh, you guys are both this stupid? - Yeah. - It's like you got dumped at a restaurant. and you're like, "That restaurant broke my heart.". - Yeah. - It wasn't. - We're never going to Olive Garden again.

- The cheating didn't even happen at the place. - I know. No, there's so many layers of it not making sense. - Also, obsessed with the woman in the hotel. that goes through his phone and sees "baby.". Obsessed with her. - Who was doing her a solid, by the way. - Yep. - [Emily] Yeah! - Obsessed with her. - No, no. The housekeeper is a legend. She was like, "Hey, by the way". - Yeah. Just so you know. - "I clocked this.". I'm curious how she came across the other contact. - I know, she was going through it. - What was the mom under, like wife? Like, how would-. - Probably her name. - But how would the person know that that's-.

- It's probably a scandalous text under a different name. - Yeah. It had to have been pretty obvious. - [Chanse] Yeah. - Oh, if I was in people's hotel room, I would read their phones too. - You know what, can I say something too? It actually makes sense that the evidence. would be so obvious. because it was probably obvious during it. And the mom is just like not like acknowledging it. Because if after getting caught, she's not mad at him. - Yeah.

- She's mad at everything else. He knows like he can get away with it. He's probably continued to have affairs since. - I bet, I hope that... Like, it would make more logical sense if their blowout. after this happened at Disneyland, that blowout that happened either in the parking lot. or just like associated with that place was so bad. and so hurtful to both parties that they were like, "We won't go back here anymore.". Still though it doesn't-. - Why does that. affect the daughter? - Affect the daughter. No. 100%. 100%. It's Reddit. - I'm now imagining just other,

if it wasn't a housekeeper but someone else, who just like, "Gawrsh! "Your husband's cheating on you." (laughs). - They go, "Tug on the seatbelt while you're ready. "You're (beep)...". I don't know. - All right, can we pull on the seat belts. and who's that contact on your phone? Ooh. Yikes. All right. And you're off! (everyone laughs). Okay, moving on to our final story here. Wow. Okay. This comes from Best of Redditor updates, just so you know. - Okay. - The title, "Need a fake kid to piss off my wife.".

- That's awesome. - Hell yeah. - I'm in. - I'm in, man. I'm so in. - It's a Robin Williams movie and I'm watching it. - Yeah. (crew laughs). - "My wife and I are watching 'Elf' together, "and we saw the part where Buddy's real dad tells his wife. "about Buddy and his wife gets excited. "about this surprise adult kid that pops into their life. "from a time before they knew each other. "I point out to my wife that it's a little unbelievable. "that she would immediately be on board. "I then comment that she, my wife, "would actually be mad at me in this situation. "even if I genuinely did not know this kid existed.

"and it was conceived before I had met her. "She denies it, but I know my wife. "We're in our early 40s. "and have been married for 10 years, together for 12. "So I need a 20-ish kid to knock on the door. "and tell me they're my kid. "and that they just wanted to meet me. "Gotta be convincing and really talk. "about how your mom and I were once really happy. "before she died of something tragic.". - I'm (beep) in. I'm 20-ish. I'll do it. - "Dealer's choice of death," he says.

- Throw me in. - "Job pays $100. "Gender, race, et cetera don't matter. "so long as you can pass for early 20s.". - Copy. - "Shouldn't take more than an hour of conversation. "then you get a call or something and have to leave. "I wanna do this soon after the new year. "You come up with the backstory and I'll play along. "I'll give you a little info upfront. "after you take the job.". - Has the job already been filled? - This is awesome. - I think the story already happened. - There's some comments here. "This sounds like a bad idea, "but please post a follow up once you go through with it.".

OP says, "Worst case scenario, "okay, yeah, this could go badly, "but sometimes being right in a marriage is worth it.". Someone said, "I don't think this. "is one of those times." - Nope. I don't think that's a quote. (everyone laughs). No, I don't think anyone's ever said that before. - I don't think anyone's ever said that. - That's like some guy's like standup tagline for his tour. Sometimes being right is worth it. (Shayne laughs). - Divorced, the comedy special. Someone said, "LMAO, this is a terrible idea, "but I'll do it. "Mid-20s.".

Producer note, lots of similar comments to that one. This subreddit is r/Harrisonburg. So it is posted in a local subreddit. There's a subreddit for just about every city and town. So you can post there being like, "Hey.". People post on subreddits being like, "Oh hey, I have a spare like guitar I'm trying to sell. "Anyone here wanna buy it?". You can do anything. Or like, "I'm trying to organize a thing this weekend here.". So this is what this guy's trying to do. He's trying to find someone in his town to be his child. Okay. Update.

But first how do you think, do you think this is gonna be good or bad? - I don't know, Shayne. - I think kind of both. - I think it's gonna be funny. - Yeah. - Okay. - Like, I think no matter what, it's gonna be funny. - Yeah. - Yeah. Like, I don't think it's gonna be too bad. - Yeah. - "So the very dramatic naysayers, "one of which compared my prank to spousal abuse, "several diagnosed me with a number of mental illnesses, "and at least as many said I was childish and cruel. "To you I say you're probably right. "However, nanana boo boo, stick your head in doo doo.".

- This guy's awesome. - This guy's sick. - "We've been married for a decade. "We know each other well enough. "to know what's over the line and what's funny. "That said, it was harder than I thought. "to secure a fake child. "Sure, I had a large number of interested parties. "and even a couple fabulous candidates, "one of which actually looked enough like me. "that I started wondering if one of you got to my wife. "and were pulling the ultimate Uno reverse card. "on my prank.". - Oh, that's in the movie too. - "Unfortunately, interested and committed.

"are two very different things. "Multiple potential sons and daughters. "made it to the planning stage. "and found one reason or another to bail out. "Let me be clear, I do not blame these folks at all. "I don't think I'd have the courage to send the first DM, "let alone actually go through with the prank orchestrated. "by a complete stranger. "But I did find a suitable actor. "with the courage to come through. "and I still think it was money well spent. "So here's a synopsis of how it played out. "No, there's not a video. "Saturday afternoon my doorbell rang, "my dog lost his mind as he is wont to do, "and my wife answered the door. "since I had pretended to take a call moments earlier.

"My son looking about 20 to 25, "taller and better looking than I, asked if I was home. "My wife motioned to me. "I had conveniently just ended my fake phone call. "and I came to the door. "My son, who even shared my first name, his idea, not mine, "said he had something kind of strange to talk to me about. "I asked if he wanted to come in, "which literally almost blew the whole thing. "because I would sooner saw off my own foot. "than invite people in my house. "But my wife didn't think much of it.

"We came to the living room. "I offered him a drink, he declined. "My son is an excellent actor by the way. "He would later say it was the anxiety of the situation. "and not wanting to mess up. "that made his nervous demeanor so convincing. "This is from memory, but it's pretty much everything. "I'll let my son chime in with details. "should he feel like outing himself. "Do you remember old ex-girlfriend I mentioned at least once. "in my 10 year marriage in front of my wife? "Uh, yeah? "That's my mother. "It was my wife who reacted first with, 'Oh, no way.'.

"So I looked at her feigning ignorance. "and then back at my son and said, 'Is she okay?'. "Yeah, she's fine. "That's not why I'm here. "My wife was nearly busting out of her chair, "totally engrossed and completely consumed. "with two strong theories. "One, her husband had a long lost son, "and more importantly, two, "her husband hasn't figured out yet. "that he has a long lost son. "So I say, 'Out with it, kid, what's going on?'. "He goes, 'I'm 22 years old.'. "My wife's eyes essentially bugged out of her head,

"having now confirmed her theories in her mind. "She looks at me seemingly annoyed. "that I hadn't put these obvious puzzle pieces together. "and interrupts my fake kid. "Nearly laughed, but I held it together. "I think he's telling you that he thinks you're his father. "My acting is not so great, "but I gave it a shot with, 'Wait, what?'. "My look of shock could use some work, "but it played out for the audience. "My son looked at me. "She's right, and I'm not here to ask for anything. "In fact, I don't have a lot of time to stay, "but I just wanted to meet you and maybe exchange numbers?

"So I said, 'This is a lot to take in. "'I knew your mother a long time ago. "'and she never said, I mean, I didn't know. "Him, I'm paraphrasing, but this kid deserves an Oscar. "She never told you. "She only told me on Christmas morning. "She didn't say anything bad about you, "just that it was over and she was already dating my dad. "when she found out she was pregnant.". - Wow. - "So I say, 'Wait, does your dad know?'. "He goes, 'Of course. "'And I've always known he wasn't my biological father. "'He's a great dad, "'but lately I've been wondering who my real father was,

"'so I asked my mom and she told me.'". - Well done. - "I say, 'Wow.'. "I freely admit I had the easy part. "My wife, not saying anything, just taking it all in. "Not much else to tell in terms of the production. "We exchanged numbers. "Then he got his own fake phone call. "reminding him he was late for something or other, "and I walked him out. "The rest of the production was just my wife and I. "I came back to the living room. "doing my best bewildered act. "We talked about it, "covered things like paternity tests, et cetera, and-". - This is crazy. - "And it turns out I was way wrong.

"My wife wasn't mad, miffed, or even slightly annoyed. "She was full on amazed, excited, "and entertained by the whole thing.". - Is she doing this on purpose? - "I waited a few hours before I fessed up, "but before I did, she kept saying how cool it was. "that I might have a son. "When I told her it was all a bullshit lie I made up. "to prove a point, she laughed a lot. "I can't decide what amused her more, "the effort I put into the ruse. "or the fact that I ended up proving her right. "in the process. "Here are a couple gems from the wife. "after I told her the truth.

"Where the hell did you find that guy? "I'm glad your son wasn't a serial killer. "I might have been mad if he came here looking for money. "Next time you can save $100 and just assume you're wrong. "You know I'm going to get you back, right? "The last one has me a little worried.". That was it. End of story. - Shayne. - Yeah? - Is there another update? - There's not another update. - What are you worried about? - I want the revenge. - It worked out. - Well, we might get a Reddit story eventually. from this guy of like my wife-. - Oh wow. - That'll be awesome. - Killed me. - This woman is awesome.

- Yeah. - She's awesome. Yeah. She sounds like a really dope-. - Their marriage sounds really fun too. - The fact that you're like-. - Like, I want in. Like, are they looking for a third or? (everyone laughs). - There is something sweet. There is something sweet about this. of like putting this much effort. and creativity into just like something. in your relationship, right? I think there's something sweet about it. of like, oh my gosh, I wanna pull this huge elaborate prank. on just my wife. Like, not for another audience, just my wife.

I just want to do this experiment. - I know. We're like, this wasn't an episode for something? - It's like, oh, you weren't trying to make money. off of this? It's like, no, he just really wanted. to like go through a bunch. And it sounds like they have a fun dynamic. with each other in that way. It's very playful. - I honestly can't believe she fell for it. because like right off that conversation, like I feel like I would be like... - We don't know how long it took. - It might've been a a month or so, and you're not gonna think about that. - Yeah, especially if the guy did a great job, good for him getting a good actor in there. - Yeah. - He found someone off Reddit.

So that means someone showed up with a fedora and a katana. (crew laughs). And they're like, "Um, I'm thinking you're my father.". (crew laughs). "Yeah. I'm about 22 years old.". - But honestly you heard it there first. You can book acting gigs off of Reddit. - Wow. - Yeah. If you're in Harrisonburg, Virginia. There's acting opportunities. - Check your local listings. That's so funny. - Yeah, it's great stuff. Well, this has been a blast. - Thank you for having us.

- Thanks for being here. - I always say thank you like you invited us. You didn't. - Okay. - Damn. - Okay. - (beep). - I thought that was funny. It was like funny like, ha. Peek behind the curtain. - I'm never going to Disneyland again. (everyone laughs). - I can't get over that! - Well, thank you both for being here. And I should say keep an eye out on the Smosh socials. Check out the Smosh Instagram this week. Keep an eye on it. There might be some fun Reddit updates about our show.

Just keep an eye on it. I don't know. Something special might be coming. But we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye.