Why Would They Do This? | Reading Reddit Stories

- Welcome back to "Reddit Stories". I'm Shayne. And today's theme is all about embarrassing stories, and I'm here with two huge embarrassments, Courtney and Ian. - I was not prepared for that. - Honestly, wasn't prepared, but fair. - Yeah. (everyone laughs). - Before we get into this, I've been told, Ian, you have something to tell us. - I do. Yeah. So I was... (Shayne laughs). I was very inspired by the roommate's episode.

- Okay. - Specifically one story in there. that was about someone deleting a "Baldur's Gate" save. - Yes. - All because of, what was it? - Oh, they ate their beans. - Yeah. - One roommate ate the other roommate's beans. But they're very nice beans, we've been informed. - What beans were they? - Rancho Gordo beans. - Oh, right. So I brought a surprise.

I brought-. - Did you make chili with Rancho Gordo beans? - I brought Rancho Gordo beans. - Oh my gosh! - Whoa! - You get beans! You get beans! - Whoa! - Whoa! - You get beans! - Nice throw! - So if you guys want any specific varietals, let me know. I got lots of beans. - I gotta be honest. If someone ate these beans, like seeing the quality of them, if someone ate these beans, I think you are legally allowed to kill them.

You know, like if they stole these beans... You got a haul of beans. - Yeah. I wanted to treat everybody. - Look, they match. The marketing like matches my jeans. - Whoa. You've been wearing Rancho Gordo pants this whole time. - Everyone is welcome to beans. - Ian, the bean man. - That's what they call me now. - I'm sure that's what one of the wise men. wanted to bring Jesus. (everyone laughs). - Beans! - [Shayne] I brought some beans. - Frankincense. - The others are like, "What the (beep), dude? "I brought gold. "You brought beans?". - I came all the way from Mexico, dude.

You better appreciate this. - Rancho Gordo. - In this time, that's crazy. - It is. - Wow. Ian, thank you. Lovely. - Thank you. - Nice. - Holy crap. The gift of beans. - Very kind. - You're welcome. - Brought the gift of beans to us all. - Okay. I thought you were about to tell us an embarrassing story. - Yeah, me too. - But no, you just showered us with gifts. - It's pretty embarrassing. that we thought you would tell an embarrassing story. - You know, I'm a changed man. Now all I give is beans. (crew laughs). - I don't know if, I think the most embarrassing thing, it's not embarrassing 'cause you did it to yourself,

but on "Bit City", I don't know if your incredible bit is out yet or not. But that's about as close as it gets. to embarrassing stories. - What? PBL? - PBL, man. Once PBL happens, if it's out or not, once you see it, come back to this video and comment. - About PBL. - About PBL. - Yeah. - Okay. - PBL drizzy. - God... Holy shit. (everyone laughs). - Someone should Photoshop that.

- Someone will. - PBL drizzy. - Yeah. - Yeah. Okay. - Yeah. - Okay, let's get into some embarrassing stories here. Our first one, it comes from r/TodayI(beep)Up. - Whoa-oh. - "Today I (beep) up. "by accidentally revealing my student's paternity. "during a genetics lesson.". Ooh. Okay. "I'm a student supplemental instructor. "at my university for genetics. "My job basically revolves around reinforcing concepts.

"already taught by the professor as an optional side course. "Earlier this semester. "while going over parental blood typing, "I got to explaining how having an AB blood type works. "as opposed to AO, half A, type A, "or AA, full A, type A in little genetics punnet squares. "I asked if anyone knew their parents' blood type. "to the class and someone raised their hand. "and told me that his father is AB and his mother is type A. "and that he is type O, which is impossible.

"I went through with the activity for some reason. "and ended up having to explain to him. "that the only way this can happen is if his mother is AO. "and his father was type O, AO, or BO. "He now doesn't know if he's adopted. "or if his mom cheated on his dad.". (Courtney gasps). "After the session, "I walked over to the genetics professor's office. "and confirmed with her that this is impossible, "and she said she'd be mortified. "to try to tell him the truth behind that. "and hoped he was misremembering. "Fast forward to today. "A friend of his updated me.

"and said that he confirmed the blood types. "and has kept it to himself. "and figured out he wasn't adopted. "I ruined how he sees his mother, "and I kind of feel guilty about it. "At least he did well on his exam.". - Uh-oh. - That has to be like the lamest way. to find out that your mom cheated. (Shayne laughs). - Like, through science. - [Shayne] Through science. - Through like some genetics like class. - That's kind of nuts now that he knows his mom cheated.

and his parents don't know that he knows. And his dad maybe doesn't even know. - So his real dad is a type O probably or something? - Yeah. Or AO. Yeah. That's the only possibility. - That's crazy, bro. - That's nuts. - [Ian] Yeah. - That's devastating. - I just want to know like how that question was even posed.

of being like, "Hey Mom, just like wondering, like, "am I adopted?". Like, what? - Well, 'cause I think they said, "A friend of his updated me. "and said that he confirmed the blood types. "and has kept it to himself. "and figured out he wasn't adopted.". - Yeah. - So he knows that he is his mom's son. But that his mom cheated on his dad. So he knows that for sure. But how does he bring that to his mom? And will he bring it up to his mom?

I mean... - Yeah, like what are the circumstances? - Do y'all know your blood types? - I believe I'm type O. - I don't know. I might be like AB negative or B negative or... Sounds like I'm a negative person. - How do you know it's negative? (laughs). - I just remember there was a negative. - There was a negative? Okay. I think type O is the most common. - I thought type O was universal donor? Is that AB? - I thought A positive was. - We're so far out of biology, man.

- Yeah. - Oh, I think it is universal donor, right? - I think all of us, if we all band our minds together, we can pass a high school biology test. - It just depends on who we listen to when. - We definitely understand blood pretty well. - I have blood. Do you have blood? - I think so. I don't know. I've never bled. - Whoa! - Nobody has ever struck me. I'm just kidding. (laughs). - What would you do if you found out. that your blood didn't match your dad?

- That'd be crazy, man. I'm pretty sure it... You know the way I know? I kind of figured out my blood type before I went and got, I donated blood and that's how I eventually knew. But I have my grandpa's dog tags. from when he was in Vietnam, and it has their blood type on it 'cause, you know. - Yeah. - [Shayne] They be... - They be negative or they be positive. - Sometimes the in blood becomes out blood. - At war, you know, that tends to happen.

- At war. - So I guessed that, so I think I'm O positive. - Pretty positive about that? - That's so funny 'cause your grandpa's name. Your grandpa's name is Opa. - Yeah. I call him my Opa. O positive. That's what it's for. - Whoa! - That's a good... - Some comments here. "I have 100% read this exact story before.". Someone said, "Because it happens a lot more than people realize.". Ooh. And then someone said, "Exact same thing happened at my high school. "The curriculum got changed after that. "The kids' parents got divorced.".

(Courtney gasps) (Ian laughs). Someone said, "Yeah, Mendel's peas. "seem like a lot safer subject matter now.". - Are you gonna like learn less. because they're trying to like protect people. from finding out that they're not biological? - But it's also the students. might be getting made fun of or bullied. 'cause they found out that-. - That's where I understand in high school it's like, oh, you don't wanna be publicly finding out something. That's respecting people's privacy. In university though, it's like, hey, you seriously wanna be a geneticist.

Like, I'm sorry. We're not gonna take away how we do things for that reason. You are there because you're paying to be there. It's a little bit of a different thing. - Absolutely. - And also like in university, it doesn't have the same like school dynamic as high school. - Yeah, and well, everyone's like a lot more adult. and a lot more mature in how they handle those things. - And I don't even know how-. - I actually bullied more in college. (Shayne laughs). Yeah. - [Courtney] That's amazing. - Didn't you do a semester? - Yeah. A semester. He actually got booted. because he bullied. - Bullied so hard you're like, "I'm done. I'm done, man.

"I did my bullying.". - He specialized in blood bullying. - Yeah. - So he bullied people-. - I go into those genetics classes and be like, "All right, which one of you is adopted?". (everyone laughs). - "I specialize in blood bullying". sounds like a build in "Elden Ring". (everyone laughs). Last comment here. "Maybe you today I (beep) up more than you think. "because in fact it is possible to be O being one parent AB. "and the other parent AA or AO.".

And OP said, "Yikes. I didn't know that. "I went to her office to see if there was any wacky genetics. "that could explain it, but just took it at face value. "when she said it's impossible. "Should have Googled it, I guess. LOL.". That's nerve wracking if the professor-. - Multiple people who are being paid to teach this stuff. actually were both wrong. - Look, I don't know-. - Wait, are we gonna trust a Reddit person? A rando Reddit? - Reddit person's like, "Trust me. I know. "I know.". I have no idea.

Regardless, I think the hypothetical of. if that was revealed, 'cause I feel like that's a very realistic thing. as someone else said, it's just like-. - I feel like it probably happens more than we think. - No, that stuff happens all the time. - I feel like it happens a lot. - Well, what also is crazy is 23andMe. how much shit that reveals. It's insane. - What if the student's mom, like maybe the dad couldn't produce, and they got sperm donor?

- Very possible. - No cheating. No foul play. - That's true. - You're very right. - Who knows? - Yeah. Next story. "Today I (beep) up by telling a girl she turned me gay.". - Okay. - Hell yeah. I knew it was real. - Don't you hate it when someone turns you gay? Ah! - Hey, man, you turned me gay, and I need you to change that back. (everyone laughs). Change it back please. Change it back. All right.

"This happened a few hours ago, "and my husband keeps teasing me about it. "To clarify, I'm a bisexual guy. "There's a Barnes and Noble that I frequent semi-regularly. "There's also a cute girl that works there, Megan, "that I had a crush on years ago. "We liked the same books. "and had a few polite conversations here and there. "One day I worked up the courage to ask her out, "and she gave me her number. "But a few days later she let me down easily, "and I didn't go back to that Barnes and Noble for a while. "After the awkwardness wore off, "I would go back and we'd be polite, "but there was a bit of tension there, "at least I thought so anyway.

"Fast forward a few years. "and I'm married to my wonderful husband, "and Megan still works at the Barnes and Noble. "I went with my husband to the Barnes and Noble, "and Megan was there. "She was busy, "so I didn't try to have a conversation with her. "My husband was looking around. "on the other side of the store, "and I was in the manga section. "Don't judge. "I round a corner and almost bump into Megan. "I apologize, and we both laugh and have small talk. "and talk about one of the few books Sarah J. Mass. "is coming out with in January. "At some point, she notices my ring. "and says, 'Congratulations.'. "And I say, 'Thank you.'. "And this is how that conversation goes.

"She says, 'I hope she makes you happy. "'I hear marriage is tough.'. "I respond with, 'He does make me happy. "'We've only been married a few weeks. "'Dating for a year, and things have been smooth.'. "She looks at me confused. 'He?'. "And here's my (beep) up. "I decided to be funny and say, "'Yeah, when you rejected me, "'I thought I'd have more luck on the guy's side, "'and I was right, so thank you for turning me.'. "I laughed, hoping she'd get the sarcasm in my voice, "but she didn't. "She turned red in the face and tears welled up in her eyes. "Then she apologized.

"and pretty much ran away into a side room. "before I could tell her that I was joking. "I wanted to wait for her to come out. "so I could apologize for the joke, "but after 15 minutes, I didn't think she was coming out. "I found my husband and made a hasty retreat to the car. "and told him what happened. "He laughed and called me a monster jokingly. "I may need to find a new bookstore. "Edit, this blew up overnight. "Apparently it's already on TikTok. "Hasn't even been a full day. "I wasn't expecting this, honestly. "To clarify some things, I am a guy.

"I am also 24. "Too many people have said, 'Wait, I thought OP was a girl.'. "I've seen a lot of emotional damage and D&D references. "to psychic damage. "While hilarious, it wasn't my intent to hurt her, "just to make light of an old situation. "that I thought she didn't even think about anymore. "Also, Megan and I never dated. "We talked for a few days. "I asked her out to the county fair, "and that's when she rejected me. "She said I was the first person to ask her for her number, "and she was shocked and nervous. "and decided to give dating a try, "but she wasn't comfortable with dating. "I said, 'I understand,' and I let it go.

"I'm not sure if she's dated anyone or if she's asexual. "We're not strangers. "We talk whenever I go in and she's not busy. "She knows my name. "We're not friends, but we're friendly. "The joke may have been inappropriate, "but I honestly didn't think of it that way. "I'm honestly not upset about her rejecting me. "It happened five years ago. "And no, we're not asking her for a threesome. "You know who you are.". Okay. - Huh? - I think this is funny. - This is great. - It's so funny that he came out to her, and then he kept waiting for her to come out. (crew laughs).

You know? Out of that room. But it was just funny. - Oh, funny. I think like, man, if I was bi, I feel like I would use that line on so many people. Be like, yeah, just like, "It's crazy you turned me gay.". (Shayne laughs). It's such a funny thing. Like, it's weird that she took it so poorly. - Yes. Yeah, especially because like, if there was someone that I knew. who we even dated and then they say "he",

I'd be like, "Oh, that's great.". Like, I immediately get it. But the fact that she was like, "He?". And then got tears in her eyes. - Yeah. - It feels like some internal feelings. toward that are there. - Yeah. - But like I can understand like, if you are not super educated as a woman, you feel that you were just told you're so unattractive. that that person is gay now. - Oh, I see where you're going. - But you shouldn't look at it that way.

You should not look at it. It's not about you at all. - Yeah. And he said like, "After you rejected me, "I thought I'd have more luck on the guy's side.". Like, he's not saying like-. - It's weird that he brought up her rejecting him. Like, that kind of puts her. in an awkward uncomfortable position. He didn't have to say that. I think even just being like, "Yeah, you turned me gay.". Like, that's something that like Spencer could probably say. in this office today. - 'Cause I guess it sounded like he was putting the blame. on her, which I guess I can understand. why she would become emotional about that.

- But it's such a ridiculous thing that like, I don't know. - You would've thought they would've had the rapport. at that point. - Yeah. Anyone who knows, it's just like, yeah, I know you don't turn gay. Like, I know like, you discovered this about yourself or... - For sure. He said himself in the story that he felt tension sometimes. after being rejected, so clearly like him making a jab at her rejecting him, that doesn't put a great vibe. - That's true.

That's true. - And I'm sure that whole thing really. kind of took her aback, regardless of her opinions on it. - It's true. I think... Yeah, we don't know what's going through her head. We don't know this person that well. It doesn't seem like he knows her that well. 'cause they just talk at the Barnes and Noble, so they have that kinda rapport. We don't know where her head's at. She might be someone with a ton of anxiety or whatever. - Yeah. - We don't know why she's crying. She could be crying just of like, "Oh, I hope my rejection didn't like hurt you.". - Yeah.

- Even though I know you're joking, it's like-. - Yeah, I mean, it sounds like even dating was something. that she's really nervous about giving a try. - Right. - So maybe she is just like a very general nervous person. - Yeah. There could be a lot going on. - I have a more foundational question. Do people just have a Barnes and Noble person. they just like-. - Not really. - They just like have a rapport with? Like, this is like a coffee shop? - You go to Barnes and Noble a lot. You love going to a bookstore. - I used to. - Yeah. Not so much anymore.

- When I was like an unemployed actor. and I had nothing to do, I would go to Barnes and Noble a lot just to hang out. I just like looking at books. I was buying books all the time. - Yeah. - But I never had a rapport with anyone. - You just never had like a dude you just dap up and like-. - No. - Just talk about the next like Jane Austen novel. you guys are excited about? - Yeah. Yeah, that next one that's coming out. - [Ian] Yeah. - I hear she's about to come out with a new one. - She's popping off. - Yeah. But I mean, I think if he's a regular there, I mean, there is like coffee shops in some of 'em.

Maybe like, I don't know. But I mean, I definitely at one point. like was going to a Starbucks to do schoolwork a lot. and I had a rapport with the baristas, but I think that's more common. - I think so. Yeah. That's why I never heard of a Barnes and Noble like rapport. - There's smaller locations. - But maybe it's not like all the time. But just when he went there, he was interested in her, so-. - That's true. She's cute. - They did talk, so he did ask her out. So then it was like, so maybe he's talking like every couple months he sees her.

Yeah, there's an argument to be made. that bringing up a rejection from five years prior. regardless is awkward. I think overall this is funny though. - Yeah. - Yeah, I think if they truly had a good rapport. and she knew him better, it would've been a better reaction. - Yeah. He could have maybe, depending on if I saw this rapport in person, he could have like gone in a little bit more. about his relationship first, being like, "Yeah, we've been married for five years, "he's so great.".

Like, this stuff. "Yeah, like, you know, after your rejection,". like maybe after that, but he did it so quickly. - Yeah. - That it's, I don't know. She might've just come across... She might've just felt like, "Oh, you don't like me.". - Right, right. - Not that I believe your story just, oh, you actually don't like me. That might have been what it was a little bit. - Poor lady. But- - [Shayne] Some comments. - Yeah. - Some comments. "It was a pretty funny joke. "Obviously she didn't react to it well, "but I imagine you can clear it up if you see her again.".

OP said, "I may need some time before I go back,". with like a laughing, sweating emoji. Someone responded, "Honestly, I wouldn't wait. "Something might have happened to her in the meantime. "and she linked your joke with something and that hurt her. "I would really try to talk to her. "to understand why she reacted like that. "It might lead to a good friendship. "if that's something you'd like. "Else just to clear things up. "because something clearly didn't work.". Someone else said, "Probably she's really lonely is my guess.".

OP responded, "When I asked her for her number, "she said I was the first one to ever ask, "so maybe you're right.". Yeah. - I think I have the solution. I mean, he's having trouble going back to Barnes and Noble. He should just get her fired. - Oh my god! - Then like problem solved. - Tell her her dad's blood type. - Talk to her manager and be like, "I don't think she can read, dude.". (everyone laughs). "I don't think she can read.". - No, no. You know, this happens sometimes. Have you ever experienced this.

where you try to riff with somebody and then it just... - Oh yeah. - Like, it just doesn't work. - All the time. - So I think that's clearly what happened. I think there are some instances where you like, if it's someone that you genuinely care. about their feelings, go back and make sure things are okay. It doesn't sound like they have a rapport. where he needs to really like go out of his way. Like, that just feels like, there's just certain dynamics that like, it's okay. We're all adults here. Let's just keep it trucking.

We're gonna be all right. You didn't turn him gay. - Yeah. - We don't know that. - Well, he can just go up to her and be like-. - He was born (laughs). - He can go up to her and be like, "Look, I'm sorry. "I was joking. "You didn't turn me gay. "I'm not gay. "I'm just married to a man and we have sex-". - Stop! - "And we just do it. You know? "Just 'cause, you know?". - He said he was bisexual. (everyone laughs). Poor lady.

- I don't think he needs to avoid her. - Yeah. - If I'm him, it's like, I don't think he needs to go out of his way to talk to her, but I think he shouldn't fear going back, and if he sees her, he can just be like, "Oh, I'm sorry about that joke, by the way.". - Be like, "By the way, that was totally-". - By the way, I've always been bisexual. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I think also, like, there's also just a lot of stigma with bi men, so she was probably initially thrown off by that. - [Shayne] Totally. - True. That too. - And like was probably just in her head.

regarding that factor as well. - Yeah. There's also the... - She was like, "He?". - I'm overthinking this. I'm overthinking this. I'm just digging into this. But she's talking about how like, oh, he's the only man to ever ask her out, right? Or the first person to ever ask her out. - Or just ask for her number. - To ask for her number in general. And she's like, doesn't even date. She was like, "Oh, I'm thinking about dating.". And then she rejected him. She seems like she really has like a lot of fears there.

But in this case, you know, what he told her is, "Oh, I'm gay.". Like, you know, and stuff. And she's probably thinking like, "Oh, so you were never even actually into me," maybe. I just wonder what's going on there, you know? It may be-. - He didn't tell her he was gay. He said-. - He said, "You turned me gay.". - I decided to try-. - Thanks for turning me gay, I guess. - Yeah. - Oh, he did say that? I thought he said, "I just decided to try men.". - Yeah, "When you rejected me, "I thought I'd have more luck on the guy side, "and I was right, so thank you for turning me.".

So she doesn't know he's bi. Like, they didn't have a full on conversation here. So I'm just thinking like, I could see a retroactive, if you ever date someone, I feel like this is common where you date someone. and then you later find out like, oh, they weren't straight or whatever, and you go, "Oh, so were they...". Like, "Am I attractive? "Were they actually into me?". - For sure. - So it just probably was a lot of information for her. - Yeah, I think I've experienced this. where when I was younger I dated a boy.

and then he turned out to be gay. I don't know if you've experienced that. But it's like, when you're educated on the situation, it's not an insulting thing. - No. - It's really not. People are just figuring themselves at their own paces. I think if this story was an Am I The Asshole, it's definitely like a no assholes here. - Totally. Totally. No, I hope at some point he talks to her. and they just like, be like, "Hey.". - Yeah, like if they bump into each other again being like, "Hey, by the way, like that was supposed to be this. "I'm sorry.". - Right.

- Like, "I'm happy. I hope you're happy.". - Yeah. - And for the record, all the men that I've dated, I knew they were gay. - Okay. Good to know. - Yeah. - Thank you. - Good to know. - That was really good. - That was a dumb joke. - No, I liked it. - Our next story. "Today I (beep) up by drugging the bartender. "and ruining a wedding.". Jesus. Okay. (Courtney stumbles). "Yeah, so this (beep) up happened the summer before COVID, "but I think the statute of limitations are up, "so I can tell this story.". - They're not. (everyone laughs). - "My wife and I went to her colleague's wedding.

"I'm not a huge drinker and I didn't really know anyone, "so my plan was to grab some sort. "of cold refreshing beverage and find somewhere to post up. "and nurse it while I got really stoned. "and did some people watching, which leads me to my drugs. "On the way to the wedding, I stopped at a dispensary. "and picked up a reusable vape pen thing. "I'm a pretty traditional smoker. "I go to the place and I buy an eighth. "and smoke it in my ancient bowl over the course. "of the next month or two. "I'd never had a pen before. "It was just like, I'm going to a wedding. "and want something that won't make me sleepy. "or mentally handicapped,

"and the young woman at the counter handed me the thing. "As my wife was driving us over, I tried it out. "I also don't smoke very much at any one time. "and have a hard time with anything like joints or bongs, "et cetera. "When I do smoke these things, they hit way too hard. "and I cough like crazy and hate myself. "So I took a very small hit, noticed it hit really hard, "and thought, "'Well, that's because you think everything hits too hard.'. "Bada bing, bada boom. "I'm at the reception standing in line. "to grab some drinks from the bartender. "and noticed the tip jar.

"Realizing I don't have any cash, I'm like, "'Dude, do you have Venmo or something?'. "I know. LOL. "And he is like, 'Ah, don't even worry about it, man. "'It's no big deal.'. "But I'm a service industry vet, "so I wanted to find a way to tip him. "because I know it's gonna be a long night. "and a lot of people won't tip. "So I'm like, 'All right, man. "'Well, if my wife has some cash, I'll double back over, "'but in the meantime, if you party,'. "and I show him the pen. "He's like, 'Oh, for real? "'Hell yeah, dude.'. "And he proceeds to take an enormous puff on this thing.". - Oh. - "Within seconds he was doubling over. "and coughing uncontrollably.

"It was incredibly loud. "And in under a minute, he was down on his hands and knees. "behind the bar, puking in the grass.". (Courtney gasps). "Still kind of no harm, no foul. "until he gets up and puts all of his weight. "onto a tumbler glass that was sitting. "on the table he used to help himself up, "cutting his hand open so, so badly. "And then something very interesting happened, "something that had never happened before. "I started vomiting at the sight of the blood. "So naturally this is pretty disruptive. "And the groom, who just so happened to be nearby, "comes over to see what's going on.

"and (beep) faints the second he sees this guy's hand.". - Oh no! - "Smashing his head on the bar/table on the way down, "his face taking the tablecloth. "and everything on the table down with it.". - This is a rom-com. - Yeah. - Yeah. "Totally unmitigated disaster. "Both of them had to go to the hospital, "and the bride was understandably super upset. "and screaming at the caterers. "So I decided, well, it's been a good life, "and began to march over to explain to her what happened. "when out of her mouth comes a series of very specific slurs. "directed at the owner of the catering company.".

(Courtney gasps). "I didn't get a single word outta my mouth. "before she said, '(beep) sue me,'. "turned on her heel and told her people. "to just round their shit up and go. "Cue major shit storm. "Everyone is fighting with everyone. "And almost all of the guests left. "I told my wife what happened on the drive home, "and she said I should call the catering company. "and apologize, which I did. "And the owner laughed for about 30 seconds on the phone. "before saying, 'Well, whatever. "'(beep) that bitch.'". - Oh! - "So yeah. "Edit, I actually think it was a wine glass.".

Okay, good to know. (crew laughs). This was a Rube Goldberg machine that led to racism. - Yeah, yeah. - Racism or homophobia. We're not sure which phobia it led to. - So the TLDR is got my bartender high, bada bang, bada boom... - Slurs. - The bride is racist. (everyone laughs). Okay, so my takeaway is this, the universe needed a moment, you know? And this OP happened to be the vehicle, okay?

And I'm just like, as long as the catering company was okay, because that sucks, I wouldn't want the bartender lose their job. Da da da da. - Bada bing, bada boom. - Bada bing, bada boom. This chain of events exposed the bride. for being a POS sounds like. - Yeah. You know, everything happens for a reason. - Yeah. - I like to think, how I'm imagining this is the groom fell over, hits the table, and then a marble rolls, and then it hits a thing, and it starts to blow up a balloon, that pops, and then a race car goes along the track.

- That's crazy, bro. - This is nuts, man. - And like there's definitely no excuse for slurs. (everyone laughs). I want to preface that. - We here at Smosh deliver that message. - I think it's obviously a very high stress time, and yeah, I could see why there would be an explosion. of emotions.

- I think it went the wrong way. - Yeah, I don't understand why slurs? - Why was she yelling at the caterers. for the bartender getting sick? - Yeah. - If I were to like just throw up, and then it caused someone else to get, I'm a demon now? - Yeah. - You know, like, it just seems like she got mad. in the wrong direction and the wrong way. - Also the guy like sustained like a serious injury. - Yeah. - And you're gonna cuss him out? Like, help the guy. - Yeah, exactly. No, I understand her emotion.

I understand being devastated and stuff. It's still like she did kind of, in those moments is when you reveal who you are. - Yes, exactly. But I'm just laughing at this guy's perspective. where he sees this whole chain of events happen. - Yeah. - And then he sees it disrupt into chaos. And then everyone leaves and he's just like, "Okay...". - Yeah. All because of a fricking tank of a vape pen. - It's literally that scene from "Dumb and Dumber". when they accidentally kill the owl, and they're just like, "Damn, this party died." (laughs).

- Yeah, bro. - I ultimately think this comes down to, you know, the bartender shouldn't have been smoking weed on the job. - I also think it's a little bit weird. that why was OP trying so hard to like... - Guilt. - Yeah. Like, if you ask for Venmo, I think that's really nice of you. And then if they're like, "Don't worry about it, man.". Like, being like, "Okay, well if my wife has something,". that's where it can end. You don't need to offer drugs to the bartender. - Also the way he offered it was the most fed question ever. Do you party?

- Do you party, dude? - If you party, let me know. And then I'm surprised that the bartender was like, "Sick. Yeah.". Like, everybody fully had a moment to say no. Wild. - Comments. "Crazy all of that could have been avoided. "if you just had a dollar in your pocket.". - For real. For real. Whenever you're going to a wedding or any event, bring some cash. Bring cash. - Someone said, "OP is a deity of pure chaos. "Used a vape to nearly kill two men while ruining a wedding.

"What a legend.". OP responded, "I think I already said it in another comment, "but my wife likes to joke around. "about how I'd be a really good assassin.". - Oh my god. - Someone said, "I was an event bartender in college. "I asked my manager why we were allowed. "to serve every kind of liquor except for tequila. "at wedding receptions. "And she told me that a few years back before I started, "she worked her first wedding. "Reception was fine. "People were drunk, but it was average wedding drunk. "Until the best man barrels in and starts mocking the groom. "for not knowing that he, the best man,

"banged her, the bride, before the couple got together. "Groom is pissed, the bride hears commotion and comes over. "and starts accusing the best man of lying. "Best man loses it and decides the best course of action. "is to punch the bride in the face so hard. "that she flew into the table behind her. "Bride went to the hospital, "and I'm assuming he was arrested. "But when the couple came down the next day. "to leave for their honeymoon, she had two black eyes. "and a massive bandage on her broken nose.". - Oh my goodness. - "So yeah, we stopped serving tequila. "at weddings after that.". - Come on. It's not tequila. It's just alcohol.

I hate when people make-. - You blacklist the person who punched a woman. - Yeah, no, that's a person who's going to prison. - Yeah. Hopefully. - I hate when people make an exception for tequila. They're like, I remember I was talking to some older lady, she was like, "Tequila makes my pants fall off. "I can't have that.". - What in the world? - Yeah. - Oh my god. See, it's like, I would be curious of like, if a bartender or any kind of company could monitor.

and be like, "Hey, these nights where we sold more tequila, "more bullshit happened like statistically.". Just like hospitals how it's statistically proven. that like the emergency room is way more crazy. on a full moon. - I think 'cause people tend to do shots of tequila. That would be my guess. - There have been studies on what alcohol does. is it elevates whatever situation you are in. So in a lot of places, you know, people are at a quiet pub like drinking, it's not gonna cause chaos every time. But yeah, it's like what situations.

are people drinking tequila in as opposed to drinking wine? Like, people get wine drunk, but you're in a setting where you're all quiet, you know. - Right. - But people are drinking tequila. in situations that are chaotic often. - Weddings, they tend to be prone for that. Like, when we did our family reception, we didn't have any hard alcohol just 'cause we're like, that's not our vibe. That's just not the vibe. - Yeah. Yeah. I think liquor in general is dangerous. 'cause you get drunk quick. - Yes. - And so it's not a slow thing.

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HelloFresh. America's number one meal kit. Back to the show. Here's our next story. "Today I (beep) up by putting inane shit as my Venmo memo. "and having it read out loud in open court.". - Huh? Okay. - "Posting from my alt. "'cause I'm a whole-ass business professional. "and am mortified by my stupidity. "Today I (beep) up by putting stupid inane shit. "as the memo for my Venmo transactions. "Well, actually these transactions.

"are spread out over two years. "My older brothers and I try to say the most. "out of pocket stuff with our Venmo payments. "to try to get a laugh. "Everyone does this, right? "It's harmless, it's silly until you file bankruptcy. "and have to meet with a trustee in open court. "who asks about payments made to friends and family. "I answer honestly, "yes, I've paid friends and family for various reasons. "I provided my Venmo transaction history to you. "He says, 'Oh, let me check my records.'. "So begins a very, very long pause. "I just know he's sifting through the fan favorites,

"which include, but are not limited to, "'For the discoloration of your butt hole flaps.'". (Ian laughs). "Pee Pee Tom, for the soiled adult diaper auction, "butt plugs and electric shock rods, "DVD, black studs, white moms, your bitch tits, "remember that time you shit in the backyard, "for your mother last night, "kissing hands and shaking babies. "I'm bright red-". - You're loving these.

- "My lawyer looks at me puzzled. "Clearly she didn't read these in depth. "Why am I such an immature, stupid (beep)?". - Oh. - That's crazy. I would never think of that. But yeah, like-. - They're private usually. - Yeah, but you have to reveal all of that-. - Those are insane. - In a bankruptcy. - Those are insane. - So is he gonna have to like actually figure out. what those payments actually were? - Yeah. - That's such a pain. Can you remember like a Venmo you made like two months ago?

- Well, if you title them properly. then it's easy. - That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. - I only do like actual transactions, like a tattoo or things. with like an actual like description. But everything else I put like two emojis. - Yeah. - I feel so dumb like actually saying what it is. I'll do like, oh, I guess maybe I'll do like a food emoji or something. - Yeah, like the emojis are always like what it was, like it has to do with it. But damn. - That's rough. - Maybe that's bad. - This guy's screwed. - Damn. I gotta get better at my Venmo comedy.

- Some comments. "Honestly, 'they were to my brother, "'I didn't think anyone else would see it'. "fully explains everything.". I agree. 11,000 up votes on that. Someone said, "Could have been worse. "Twice I've had Venmo payments flagged. "by the Secret Service. "Once sending money to a coworker who covered the bill. "at a Cuban restaurant in Los Angeles.". - Oh God. - "Got flagged as money to Cuba.". (Ian laughs). "Another time my roommate sent me money. "for the electric bill and put in 'Al-Qaeda dirty bomb'.

"as the comment.". (Ian laughs). - Jesus, Ian. - It's funny to me. because it's something I could see myself doing. (everyone laughs). And not realizing it could get me in trouble. - Jesus. Money to ISIS. - That's what I was thinking. That was my first thought was it was gonna be ISIS. - God. Just ISIS. Someone said, "As a bankruptcy attorney, there's no way in hell. "that I would've kept a straight face in court. "But for what it's worth, we see worse.

"Don't sweat it.". Yeah, they see actual bad payments. - Yeah. Yeah. - Those but real. - Damn. - Yeah, I guess it's just tough. 'cause don't those descriptions help whether those were, you know, dodgy business transactions or not? - Probably depends on the amounts. - [Courtney] Probably. - You know, if they're small amounts. and it's like okay, we can probably-. - [Courtney] Yeah. - But if you send, if it's more than 500 bucks. and it's like some ridiculous thing, it's like they're gonna probably wanna know what that was.

- Yeah. And it's not butt plugs. - Yeah. Unless it's a lot of 'em. Who knows. Unless he was running a butt plug business. - Right. - [Shayne] He's filing for bankruptcy. - Which is totally fine. - So apparently someone did some research. and clocked that one of the Venmo payments was, "Remember that time you shit in the backyard.". OP actually had a Reddit post from when that happened. It was "Today I (beep) up by going poo in the backyard. "in the rain.". - Oh my god.

- That Venmo request was real, which makes me believe that all the rest are real as well. - True. Okay. - All right. Moving on. This next one, this title rocks. (crew laughs). I'm excited for this one. - God. - "Today I (beep) up by sitting through my friends' orgy.". - Sitting through? - Sitting through my friends' orgy. - And so you (beep) up by doing that? - Yeah, "I (beep) up by sitting through my friends' orgy.". - Okay. - Okay. - Okay. "So yesterday my friends, two couples plus one single guy,

"and I went to brunch to go day drinking, "and we ended up drinking a lot. "It was all you can drink mimosas. "brought out with the big old bottle of champagne. "and orange juice/cranberry juice, "and they really stayed on top of bringing more out.". - Whoa. - Hell yeah. - "As a group, we typically drink a lot. "when we do go out on weekends, but not so early in the day. "Or at least if we do start early, it's way more paced, "not against the clock of when brunch ends. "We did also eat brunch, "but still it was a crazy amount of drinking.

"in a short amount of time. "We ended up back at my friend's place. "who was way more drunk than I usually see him, "like on the verge of falling asleep, "and he was laying down on the couch. "I honestly can't remember what started everything off. "I think it might've just been relatively normal. "when my friend and his girlfriend started kissing. "and the other couple was kissing. "Although as couples, they've both never been big. "on public displays, at least in front of me. "The other girl has always been fairly open. "I've heard stories of her getting naked. "in front of the group, et cetera before. "Eventually the two girls kissed, "and then my friend/his girlfriend were making out.

"hot and heavy and he was feeling her up. "The other girl was kissing her boyfriend. "while the single guy was fingering her, "which led to him eating her out. "Anyway, without going into too many more details...". (crew laughs). - That escalated. - Without going into too many details here, guys. - Also just the fifth wheel just being like, shoop! Kind of crazy. - "Without going into too many more details, "my (beep) up was that I had drank too much. "to just leave to drive home, "and my car was there so I couldn't really Uber home.

"and just leave my car without it being a huge ordeal. "And I didn't know what else to do but watch. "At one point-". - Jesus Christ. - "At one point, the other girl encouraged me to jump in, "but I declined saying my own girlfriend wasn't there. "to say it was okay or join in herself. "We were supposed to go to the pool to continue partying, "so part of me was hoping this would all end. "and we'd move on to the pool like nothing happened.". (Ian laughs). "But I was just kind of shocked at it all. "and was watching it all go down drunk in awe. "and certain points going on my phone.".

- Oh my god! - That's awesome. - At certain points going just like... - Oh my god! Don't take your phone out during an orgy! - Just playing "Candy Crush". (crew laughs). "The way my friend's house is there was nowhere else. "to really go that guests would go, "so I couldn't like go to a different room and watch TV. "I kind of feel weird about it now, "like I was a creep in the room or something, "even though I waited as long as I thought I needed to. "and there was nothing else for me to do, "like just walk around randomly outside drunk, "to finally safely leave and drive home.".

- That's the end? - [Shayne] That's the end. - Bro! No, no, no, mister. - Yeah. First of all, I don't believe this story happened. But I think this is a lie to some degree. - I feel like this is something. that I could get myself into. - I definitely, okay, actually I say it's a lie-. - Just be like, "Um...". - I think it's not a lie, but I think this guy is lying to himself. as to why he couldn't leave the room.

- Yeah, I think so. - [Shayne] That's fair. - If you were genuinely like uncomfortable or like, I've never been in an orgy, so I don't know, but like you can go... They're going into an orgy! You're allowed to go in another bedroom and sit somewhere. if you're uncomfortable or wanna give them privacy. and you can walk outside. - Yeah. - Yeah, you can definitely go outside. - I think he was probably enjoying watching. - I think he's making up excuses and being like, "Well, I felt like a creep.".

It's like, yeah, maybe, but you chose that life. - And he was drunk. He was very drunk, so his logic's not all there. I do think it's a little (beep) up. that everyone just did this. - Yeah. - 'Cause like it is kind of like a consenting situation. - Very much so. - And when you just start doing that. like in front of people, you are kind of like-. - With no communication whatsoever. - But they are all super drunk. 'Cause like from what I've heard. from like what people have described, like orgies... (Ian laughs).

Orgies, the way that they start and the way they operate. is honestly kind of like very like massive amounts. of communication. - Right. - Like, you need to like set that shit up. - Sign on. - This is a bunch of drunk people. who just were doing drunk things. - Yeah. - Sounds like it. - It's a little (beep) up. I feel bad for the guy. I also am like, if I'm this guy's girlfriend, I'm gonna be extremely uncomfortable. - Yeah, him being like, "Well, she's not here to tell me it's okay to join in.". So you're gonna stay and watch?

That's still being involved, bro. - And not even saying that he's texted her or called her. - Yeah. Been like, "Hey.". - I can tell you exactly what I would do in this situation. As soon as it like, before it got to anywhere near where it was, I'd be like, "I'm gonna step outside,". and I would call you, and I'd be like, "I think an orgy is happening in there.". - Yeah. - Yeah. - I think an orgy is beginning. - As soon as two couples start making out, I'm like, "This is not the room I should be in.". Like, that is simply-. - You know what actually proves your point? Okay, you have your car there.

Call your girlfriend, tell her to Uber there, and you both like leave with your car. - Or like take a walk. But he talked about how they thought they were gonna go. to the pool later, so-. - They're not going to the pool! - You never know. You never know. - Do you think like every five minutes he's like, "Hey guys, when are we going to the pool?". - They're like, "I feel like you're just here for the pool later.". - He's sitting there in his swim trunks. and floaties on his arms, "I'm ready when you guys are.". - Yeah. - I think there's definitely like, yeah, like I'm sure everyone in that room was consenting,

but the issue is like, this guy's girlfriend, she wasn't looped into this. - Well, let's talk about enthusiastic consent. Like, you know, this OP, he declined being involved, and then there was someone who was so drunk. that they were falling asleep. Like, it's murky. - It's a very sketchy situation. - Definitely. Yeah. - Yeah, so I mean, and it's like maybe these people. were so drunk and this has never happened before,

and so there was a lot of like weird wild things going on. But, you know, if this is about OP. and we're talking about OP, like I think he was trying to like backpedal. and explain himself as to why this was all okay. But like I definitely would think. that the girlfriend would be upset and-. - Totally. I think she has every right to be upset. - Yeah, 'cause I think, you know, OP might be a little freak, which is okay, but like he needs to obtain consent for that kind of stuff. - Right.

- I think it's a very upsetting situation. because even though you didn't physically. like take part in it, you're kind of a part of it. by sitting there. - No, he is a part of it. - Yeah, you're a part of it. So like he's gonna call his partner and be like, "Hey, so I kind of was part of this thing.". Like, it's gonna be very uncomfortable. And if I'm her, I'm probably breaking up with him. - Well, and his explaining to me it just sounds. like he's trying to say he had no other choice. Like, because he was saying they had plans. that they were gonna continue later. He didn't have a way to get home.

But like as an adult, you have a lot of ways to get outta that situation. And so yeah, I think him saying, "Today I (beep) up by sitting through,". means like he (beep) up. in doing this kind of to his girlfriend. - Yeah. Definitely. - I just think like. if you really wanna get out of a situation, you can get out of a situation. - Right. And there are kosher ways to be in the situation. as you're saying. But like, buddy, like you can go outside. I'm pretty sure that as these people are having an orgy.

in the living room, you're allowed to go into the main bedroom. and have a little sit. Like, it's okay. - I'd be leaving, but... - Yeah, but, you know, like you said, maybe he's a little freak. He wanted to be there. But like don't lie to yourself, buddy. - Exactly. Yeah. I mean, like, yeah. - But even if you're a little freak, you need to use communication. - You're a little freak. - This situation needs to be set up. - Yeah. - Because also the next day amongst these people. who are very drunk, it could cause a shit storm. where one of them was like,

"I actually did not wanna do that.". And then you were there and now you're also part of it. Like, I think you get outta that situation. for safety reasons. - Yeah, and like I do think, like so was the friend that was so drunk. that they were falling asleep, did they wake up and get involved? Was that it? - That was the fifth wheel. - That was the fifth wheel. Okay. That's so funny to be like, "What's going on? What?". - I mean, I think if that started happening, I would also wake up. (everyone laughs). - Yeah, I think so. - That would sober me up real quick.

- Comments. "Orgy going on in front of him and he's thinking, "'Does this mean we're not going swimming?'". (Courtney laughs). Someone said, "Could have been like a corner man, "encouraging, giving water, a towel, "maybe some ice to cool down, and some strategy.". Someone said, "I remember a time when we went to...". Someone said, "I remember a time. "where we went to Niagara Falls. "and I went back to the hotel early. "I'm in bed watching 'Family Guy', "and my friend comes in with a girl. "and goes to the other bed. "I make a joke and they start (beep). "My other buddy was walking around the hotel.

"waiting for them to finish, "and I'm just hanging out in my bed. "while they're laughing and watching 'Family Guy'. "I was later asked, 'Why didn't you leave?'. "Simple response. "I was there first. I'm not leaving,". - Bro, come on. - Please, then talk about it. Jesus Christ. These people, they will do everything but walk out of a room. that people are having sex in. (crew laughs). - I mean, it was "Family Guy". (everyone laughs). - Yeah. - But like, it's (groans). - That's crazy. - No, it's all messy. It's all messy.

- No, but it definitely didn't sound like... Like, what I've heard about orgies. that are like more organized, like there's a lot more communication, and it's not like this like sex anarchy. People are like communicating and like talking about like, "Hey, I wanna try this. "Let's try this.". Like, it's very... So I don't know. This all sounded like it was very on the fly. and people just were not thinking clearly. - Yeah. And I mean like, and I too have never been to an orgy, but I know at like, you know, parties, sex parties,

like you have to obtain consent to watch. - Enthusiastic consent. Yeah. - Like, you can't just show up and just be like... - Yeah, bro. It's weird. - Yeah, this is messy as hell. Anyways, moving on from that one. (Courtney laughs). "Today I (beep) up by putting tampons in wrong. "for 10 years.". - What? Huh? - Sideways. - Well... - Okay. "I feel so embarrassed. "I, a 23-year-old woman, have had my period.

"for more than 10 years now, "and I just learned from a Reddit post of all places. "that you are not supposed to just shove the whole thing, "applicator and all, up there and then leave it like that.". - Oh no. - "I have a biochemistry degree, I have traveled the world, "and yet somehow I have never figured this one out. "This is my first and probably last Reddit post. "because I cannot keep my horror at the fact. "that I've been keeping pieces of plastic in my vagina. "for 10 years inside. "But I absolutely cannot fathom telling anyone I know.

"about this. "I have always thought that tampons were super uncomfortable. "for reasons that are now glaringly obvious. "and mostly used pads. "But I love swimming, "and so I use tampons fairly frequently during the summer.". - Oh man. - "As best as I can figure, "I have used hundreds of tampons in this way. "I have been scouring my brain, "but I don't think that anyone ever told me about this. "despite the multiple wildly uncomfortable health classes. "I had to take in grade school. "The worst part is that I knew the plastic bit. "was called the applicator. "I just figured. "that was because it made putting it in easier.

"and you were just supposed to leave it in. "Thank you, Redditors, for listening, "and I can only hope that this horrifying blunder of mine. "will convince you to explain very clearly. "to your children how tampons work.". - Yeah. - This is why we need sex education. - Yeah. Like, don't blame yourself. You don't know what you don't know. Like, I was just telling stories the other day about like, even though I had three older sisters, I was so undereducated. and learned a lot of things way too late,

or like even when there was opportunities to learn, like the communication around it was so unhealthy. and not normal that like you just don't learn shit. So I very much feel for this person. - Yeah. - And they shouldn't be so hard on themselves. - I've seen a lot of Reddit posts by nurses. talking about the shocking things they see. where people come in pregnant. or just in regards to questions they're asking about sex, where it's like, wow, you really genuinely didn't know. Like, I've heard stories where they were like,

they thought they couldn't get pregnant. if they weren't married. Like, they thought that it didn't work. unless they were married. Like, it's shocking. And it's hard to believe when you are someone. who has had any general like education on it, or at least in like through time. But there are people out there who truly are, it's so kept away from them, you know? It's like they teach abstinence. They teach abstinence,, and then they're not gonna teach you anything else.

because the whole idea is just don't have sex. - No, and it's so unfortunate. that like you don't choose where you're born, you're placed into a school system. that you are told to trust the people. who have the authority over you, you're supposed to trust what they're teaching you, and then you are out in the world. as an adult doing those things. Like, it sucks that you have to as an adult be vigilant. and be like, "Well, certain things might not have been right. "I need to like look into certain things for myself.". Like, that sucks to live in a world like that.

- And sometimes you don't even know. to look for those things. - Exactly. You don't know what you don't know. - There's like so much stigma around it. that nobody's gonna ever talk about it. - Well, and also people are certain they're right, so they don't think they need to because they're like, "Oh yeah, I know," even though they don't. - And it's like the shame of like being afraid. of asking a question that makes you look stupid. It was so disappointing as a student. when teachers would like react to a question. as if it was stupid. Like, one day I heard a substitute being like, "There's no such thing as a stupid question.".

And that stuck with me for like, till today. - Damn. - Comments on this. "In OP's defense, I've had a ton of instances of going, "'Wait, this isn't how everyone else. "'experiences random thing?'. "In my case, I thought apples genuinely caused extreme gum, "mouth, and throat discomfort to everyone, "and I was just a big old baby. "for not being able to push through it. "and like apples like everyone else. "At 26 years of age in a college class, "someone overheard me commiserating.

"with someone else about the itch and yelled, "'Did you know that means you have an allergy?'. "Why, no. No, I didn't. "In retrospect, it explains a lot. LMAO. "So yeah, fully possible to assume. "that the normal tampon experience is very slippy. "and uncomfortable. "My experience with them. "was really itchy and uncomfortable. "OP never used the tampon instructions. "as bathroom reading material. "I never thought to try organic tampons. "Both of us have a oh shit moment. "embarrassingly late in life. "that no, most people do not in fact have. "that experience with tampons. "RIP OP.".

Do you guys have anything like that? Something that you know? I know a big one on TikTok. was people realizing their air filters, like the filter on the inside was still wrapped in plastic. - Oh yeah. - Like, when from when it got shipped. - I've seen that. Yeah. - And they take it out and they're like, "I've used this thing for two years. "and it's been wrapped in plastic this whole time.". - Yeah. - Not realizing. A lot of times with appliances and things realizing-. - Yeah, or like realizing. that you can take out a part of an AC unit. and like wash it under the sink, let it dry, and put it back in. - Yeah.

- I didn't know balls were supposed to be on the outside. - Oh yeah. - [Ian] Yeah. - Wow. You get to hide yours? - Yeah, I've just been keeping them up. inside the whole time. - There you go. - You've been tucking. - Yeah. - I've told this one before. I don't know what age I was, but it was like later, like I was maybe like eight to 10 years old, and I vividly remember as like a child. I thought everyone had a penis. - Oh yeah, my brothers were the same way. - Oh yeah.

- I remember my brother had a poster of Cindy Crawford. Or wait, is that, yeah. From the '90s. Her in a swimsuit. And I remember looking at it and looking at like-. - Where's the penis? - Looking at the crotch region and being like, "That's crazy. "Like, where is her penis?". (everyone laughs). "Like, that's strange. "That's odd to me.". So I remember that. - That's awesome. - Yeah. Other comments.

"This is why tampons come with instructions. "I'm honestly impressed they still did the job.". - Yeah, like did she go 10 years going like, "Damn, why don't tampons work for me very well?". - That's what I was wondering. - I guess she figured it worked good enough the first time. - Yeah, maybe, 'cause like the way I'm seeing it. is the applicator was used, so it was still like the cotton. and then the applicator like this. So it was just like a cork. But like not a very functioning cork.

- Yikes. - But that sucks. - Lastly, someone said, "If it makes you feel any better, "my partner used to just put the tampon horizontal on there. "Not inside at all.". - Oh, just like she was like sitting on it. - Just lay, yeah. - That's funny. - "She was also a swimmer, "so I don't know how she didn't figure it out to be honest.". Someone said, "Like a hot dog.". (everyone laughs). - Yeah, like just sitting on a hot dog. I think if you're an athlete, if you're a swimmer, if you're like really, really active, you have really light periods.

So it's very possible that it just was never a problem. - Yeah, I am now, nowadays I'm very obsessed whenever I, and I mean there's nothing really comparable to this, but whenever I get anything new or with anything I'm doing, I love to be like research exactly how to do it properly. Like, I do look through instructions on things. - Yeah, sometimes it's just like, sometimes descriptions just aren't specific enough. where it's like, even if she knew like to use it,

she never saw like something that said like, "Make sure to take the applicator out" or something. Like, who knows. - It's the obvious things that sometimes get overlooked. - Over time too. - [Ian] Crazy. - All right, it's time for our last story. And this title is awesome. - Hell yeah. - "Today I (beep) up by showing my (beep). "to my wife's grandparents.". - Oh boy. - Okay. - Well, what'd they say? - Well, was it a nice (beep)? I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- Well, her grandparents were having an orgy and... (everyone laughs). Okay. "So my wife and I have a very lighthearted relationship, "and I like to joke around all the time with her. "and make her laugh. "I do dumb things all the time to make her roll her eyes. "and call me an idiot jokingly. "I was outside barbecuing with headphones on. "while sipping a beer and listening to music. "I look over and see my wife walking outside, "holding her phone up, "obviously recording me or taking a pic. "I instinctively pulled my shorts down. "and started doing the helicopter.". (Courtney gasps). "She immediately looked mortified.

"and turned around quickly and went back inside. "I was very confused at her face, "so I finished flipping burgers quickly, "then went inside to find her. "with her head in her hands on the couch with her face red. "I asked her what was wrong, "and she told me she was video chatting. "with her grandparents, which-". (Ian laughs). - [Courtney] Oh my god! - "Which she never did before. "And showing them around our home. "and showing them me barbecuing. "I have never met them before and have only seen pictures.". - Oh no. - "To say I'm embarrassed is an understatement.".

- Oh my god. But like, did they laugh? - Maybe they have bad vision. Maybe they didn't know. - Maybe the bad wifi since she was coming out, maybe the pixels were so low. - Yeah, the brightness. - I imagine that she was just like zoomed in. and she was like on the grill, zooming in. and then like down to the... - Wow! (laughs). Like a hotdog. - That is probably the worst way to display a penis. to somebody for the first time.

- Oh boy. - Just a full on helicopter. Wow. - [Courtney] Damn. - Geez. - Have you all ever done that? (crew laughs). - Shown my wiener to-. - Well, there's no other way to barbecue. - Helicopter (beep) to someone as a display. (everyone laughs). - Sure, of course. - [Shayne] Yeah. - But not-. - That's how you scare away mountain lions. - That's how you scare away. Hey bear! Hey bear! - Hey bear. (everyone laughs). It's like, whoa. - It's how you get mosquitoes away from the food.

- Yeah, they think it's a dragon fly whipping around. - If you're stranded on a lake, on a boat, it's how you... - Yeah! (imitates whirring). Like in "The Incredibles" when he's (imitates whirring). - They actually teach this all in sex ed. - Yeah. - Yeah. - This is why sex ed. is so important. - All the valuable ways. to use your penis. - That's how you do it. - [Courtney] Impressive. - Some comments. "Assuming they were video chatting on a phone, "they probably couldn't see much anyway.". - Hopefully. - Someone said, "Asserting dominance one meat at a time.". And someone else said, "Did they approve?". - Did they approve? - Did they approve?

- Like, that suits our daughter. - I'm assuming because of the wife's reaction that... The problem is with old people, like maybe they just didn't, it came across like they were just trying to ignore it, you know? But maybe they were genuinely just confused. - Yeah, 'cause sometimes. when you're FaceTiming grandparents, they're like not even looking at the screen half the time. - Yeah. - You just kind of see their eyes a little bit, and it takes them like way longer. to look at other stuff on the screen. - They're probably there being like, "Oh, that's nice.". And so she doesn't realize they maybe had no idea.

- Yeah. And yeah, like maybe the wifi the pixels weren't ideal. - Yeah. That's the hope. - She could just tell them she got hacked. - Yeah. - Like, it was a deep fake. - That was AI. - Yeah. Exactly. And then they go, "Oh, okay. "What's AI?". - Yeah. - [Courtney] Yes. - Damn. - Wow. Have you ever done that? - I mean, I haven't, but I guess I know now. - Y'all ever mooned someone?

- Before you go to helicopter, always make sure. - Yeah. Say, "May I helicopter?". (crew laughs). - May I helicopter? (everyone laughs). - Well, out of all these, what do you think is the most embarrassing? - Oof. I would be very embarrassed of my reputation. in the orgy story. If people didn't want me watching them. and I was just watching them, I would be embarrassed to be that person. - I think that's the, you know,

I'm not uncomfortable by sex at all, but that would be probably the last situation. I'd wanna be in out of all these. - Yeah. And then like the bookstore story, I'm like, that's okay. Like, you tried to riff, it didn't land. - Yeah. - The tampon thing. I'm like, girl, you and probably 30% of women, like, or anybody with periods. And then that last one, honestly, win. - Yeah. - The one that I would want to be around for, I mean, I don't like when people get hurt, but the wedding situation.

I mean, there are people who are very uncomfortable. when things get tense or when things get crazy. I'm someone who's like, "Okay...". - Yeah, if you get to just sit back and watch. - Like, I would be just like, "Ooh." (laughs). - I can't look at people throwing up, so I probably would not-. - No. The throwing up and people getting hurt, I'd be like, "Oh shit.". But the chaos and-. - The chain reaction and fighting and explosions. - No, if I was ever, every wedding I've been to has always been great. I've had very good track record. But if I was at a wedding where like a fight broke out.

or like people are yelling at each other, like just yelling. Not physical fighting. But just like, "Oh shit." - Free TV. - "Drama's happening.". I would be like, "This is my favorite wedding I've ever been to.". - I think of all the stories I wanna be involved in, the orgy one sounds the most fun. Like, to be like, "Hey, like, do you guys need like a DJ?". - Should I put on some Gaga? - Yeah, like what are you guys feeling right now? Like, maybe some like jazz or like, I don't know. - Any communication would've been-.

- Literally saying anything would've been-. - Yeah. - He's just on his phone being like... - And like there wasn't even music already going, so it was just sex sounds and then like TikToks going by. - He's on his phone. He's like, "Did you guys see that break dancer. "at the Olympics?". - Yeah. - Just trying to show 'em videos, "Have you seen this?". - Check out this TikTok. - [Courtney] Like, tired of the ads. (everyone laughs). - I just start reading knock knock jokes to them. - That'd be funny. That'd be funny. - Yeah. - That wedding story reminds me of that one time.

when we were in Sacramento after a shoot, like really early in the Smosh days. I think it was you, me, Olivia, Keith, and Noah sitting. and like eating breakfast or something. We were flying out or it was after a shoot. And there was a couple fully fighting at a table nearby, and we were all just like quiet. And you were like, "I think that if a couple chooses to have a fight in public, "I'm allowed to watch.". (everyone laughs). Like, we were all just tired and we were like, "I'm allowed to watch.". - I'm allowed to watch. Like, it is entertainment now. - They are two adults choosing to have a full on fight.

in public, I'm allowed to watch. - No, you have to obtain consent and just walk up to 'em. Hey, do you guys mind if I like-. - May I helicopter? - Yeah. (everyone laughs). - All right. - Seems like you guys need... - Okay. - Seems like you guys do something silly. - Thank you both for being here. This was very fun. - [Ian] Thank you. - And thank you for watching. Let us know what other themes. and subreddits you'd like to see on this show. And we'll see you next Saturday. Bye! - Bye! - Don't be embarrassed. Don't be embarrassing.

- Don't be embarrassed or embarrassing. - Get some beans.