Wholesome Stories Only w/ Thomas Sanders | Reading Reddit Stories
- Welcome back to "Reading Reddit Stories.". I'm Shayne, and today we have a very awesome guest. Thomas Sanders is here in the house. - Hello, everybody. - [Shayne] Thank you for being here. - Thank you for having me here. I'm very excited about this. - And, Thomas, you started on Vine. I remember it. I remember seeing you on Vine. And then now you've become a huge YouTuber, and you've been making content for a while. - Yeah, just, I'm very lucky to still be able. to create the short form content. on all of the other platforms, Reels, TikTok, all that stuff,
but then extend to, you know, sketch comedy stuff. that you can find on YouTube. So if you're interested in my Vine type comedy, you just see that, but it's longer and horizontal. on YouTube. (everyone laughs). - Sounds pretty crazy. - Mind blowing stuff. Took me a while to get adjusted. - So you're not a Redditor? - I'm not, no. But everything I've seen coming from Reddit. has been fascinating. - Yeah, definitely. - Oh, buckle up. - [Shayne] Well, luckily Angela's a huge Redditor, and she's also here. - Yeah? For real? - I communicate to my loved ones through Reddit.
(everyone laughs). - Oh wow, okay. - Today's episode, we have a theme today. And it's one that people have been asking for. for a long time. It is wholesome Reddit stories. - Yes. - And I would say your brand's pretty wholesome. - I was gonna say, I like that you waited. for me to be on here to do this. - [Shayne] Yeah, yeah. - We did like a series of videos on my channel. just called "Reasons to Smile". because we like started it in 2016 for political reasons. where people needed optimism, you know?
Our recent one like had people contribute. with videos of their own, their own facts. So like it made me always very happy. - That's fantastic. - [Thomas] Yeah. - That's so cool. - That's good. So this is reasons to smile, not like why am I an asshole. (Shayne laughs). - I hope. I hope. - Yeah, this is good. - Here's our first story. - Yay! - Ooh. - Buckle up 'cause it's gonna get wholesome. "Am I the asshole. "for taking my daughter's boyfriend out to dinner?". Whoa, okay.
- Hold on, so-. - I already hate them. (Shayne laughs). - Stay tuned. - Okay. What if this is all a prank? - It was, "Am I the asshole for taking my-". - [Shayne] Daughter's boyfriend out to dinner. - Okay, I need the context, but-. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. "My 14-year-old daughter, May, "has been dating this boy, Felix, also 14, "for a couple of months now. "He's a nice boy, really polite, "but I can tell he most likely. "isn't from a well-to-do family. "I don't have a problem with this though, "because as I said, "he seems like a good person and that's what counts. "He was going to take my daughter out.
"for ice cream earlier today, "and while he was waiting for her to get ready, "he asked me if he could have some peanut butter. "I said, 'Oh, don't you wanna save room for the date?'. "But he explained he didn't have enough money. "to buy something for himself. "He always paid on their dates as far as I know. "This poor kid was so hungry. "I could hear his stomach growling. "I offered to give him some money, "but he said he's not allowed to accept cash. "I then asked him if it'd be all right. "if I took him out for dinner with my daughter. "He called his mom, and she said it was okay. "When May came downstairs, I told her the new plan.
"She was upset. "and thought it was lame that I'd be with them. "I said I could just sit in the car. "and she could call me when it was time. "to pick up the check. "But she was having none of it. "Then she said she was going out with some friends instead. "It was a little embarrassing. "since she basically dumped him in front of me. "But I kind of just moved on and asked Felix. "if he still wanted to go. "He said yeah, so I took him down to Wendy's. "We had a good time, "but when I told May where I'd been, she was furious. "She accused me of liking her boyfriend romantically. "and that I shouldn't have gone on a date with him.
"without her. "I reminded her I'd given her that option and she'd refused. "But she said that didn't change anything. "and now she can't trust me with any of her boyfriends. "I tried to tell her I'm not interested in her boyfriend. "at all, but she just ran outta the room. "I feel bad for her, but I don't think I did anything wrong. "Am I the asshole?". Overall wholesome. - Yeah. - But tough. - No, that's definitely a tough situation to be in, 'cause there's a lot of layers there,
just from what I'm picking up. - So he did get fed. - She did take him to Wendy's. - [Thomas] Yeah. - The verdict obviously was not the asshole. They were like, "No.". He doesn't want the mom to explain the situation. Like, he doesn't wanna admit that he needs that help. - Yeah. - You know? He wants to be able to like, "Hey, I got it. "It's okay.". - Yeah, feels like there's a lot of things at play here. My biggest thing is why doesn't she just give him some cash. so he can go-. - 'Cause he doesn't accept it. - Oh! - [Shayne] He said he's not allowed to accept cash.
- You're right. - Their family's like, "Hey, don't accept cash.". - Yeah, so I mean, from a point of view for me, like if I was a parent in this situation, and you're not trying to like belabor the situation. or make it any more awkward for a young person. who probably is hungry for whatever reason, doesn't matter your circumstances. If you're a 14-year-old, 15-year-old individual. who wants food and you're an adult, you're just like, let's make it as pain-free and comfortable. to provide this young person some food as possible.
It doesn't matter their circumstances or backgrounds, in my opinion. And you're just trying to make it as cool and chill. as possible. - [Angela] Yeah. - Let's just go ahead and get you the food, and then, you know, if he wants to talk about the breakup. that just happened in front of them, maybe that happens. And I think I agree with you. Like, communication is always gonna make things a lot easier. in situations like these. I think maybe her daughter just made it difficult. I don't know if the writer was using she/her pronouns.
or he/him pronouns. - I think it's the mom. - [Thomas] Yeah. - [Angela] Yeah, the parent. - Yeah, I don't know if they were making it very easy. for a conversation to happen. because it seemed to be so rushed. in that situation. - Yeah. - It's like one of those situations of like probably act now. and then explain later. And probably they didn't think it was a big deal.
that it was happening. and didn't know how the daughter would respond. in that situation. - And I understand when you're 14, I mean a 14-year-old, like I get it. I get her mindset. I get why. From my point of view, I'm like, "That's completely ridiculous.". But 14-year-old, I understand. - A 14-year-old's just like, "You like him more than me!". Slam the door. - Yeah, I would also just like maybe the teen also needs. to like reflect on her own actions. in terms of like how she treated, you know,
the people in the car at that time. - So some comments here. "Absolutely not the asshole, "but what you could do in the future is give May the money. "to take Felix on a date.". - That's it. - [Shayne] "It's 2023, so women should also pay.". - That's great. - Yeah, that's a good, I think there's other alternatives. that she could have done, but her intentions were so sweet that who cares. "Not the asshole, "but it seems like you may be raising an asshole. "You need to stop protecting her from the reality of life. "I'm sorry, but she currently sounds so frigging oblivious. "to the hardships of others and awful.
"And I say this as a mother of a 14-year-old daughter. "who would never behave this way. "or even think these things.". - I don't know. I think that 14, 15, you can't put too much. - [Shayne] Yeah. - We've all been there. Come on now. We've had those bad days. - Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, I believe she totally can change from 14 to 20. Like, she might be a completely different person. - I feel like the move would be like get this guy a scoop. of peanut butter while your daughter's getting dressed, which is first of all a good move.
He wanted protein, right? He wanted to calm his stomach down. so he can go on this fricking date. Let him go on the date. - Ants on a log if you got celery. - Ants on a log. He wants to scoop down some protein, so then he can go have some ice cream with a cute girl. Let him do it, right? And then give the girl some money. and do that so they can maybe go get like some protein, some more protein after. - Bing, bang, boom. Relationship saved. - And then this mom can go to Wendy's by her damn self. (Thomas laughs).
- That's the idea. - [Thomas] Yes, I love that. - What if she took em to Wendy's and he is like, "Do you guys have peanut butter?". (everyone laughs). He's like, "I just want peanut butter, dude.". "Not the asshole for taking him out. "The kid was going to go hungry. "in order to buy her an ice cream. "This kid will be going places when he grows up.". Someone else said, "Not the asshole. "Is your daughter aware of Felix's situation? "She could be thinking that he just wants to spoil her. "and not even realize he can't afford anything more.". - [Angela] Yeah. - OP responded, "That's a good question. "She is young, so it could be she doesn't know the signs. "to look for, and I doubt he would straight out tell her.
"On the other hand though, "I do think 14 is old enough to recognize these things, "so I may just ask her.". I agree with all this. - Yeah, it just may be a lesson. It may be a lesson to learn. This is the moment to learn from that moment. - This is the moment. - Yeah, we were all a little bit myopic as teens. - Yes, good word. - You know? - There it is. All right, next story. This comes from True Off My Chest. All right, here we go. "I talk to the dead first husband of my wife. "and my stepdaughter.".
- And? - Okay. "I met Helena almost two decades ago. "It was a party at a lake for the local university. "We liked each other, "but our lives were very, very different. "I was finishing school that year. "and had to do my year of civic duty, "something we don't have anymore. "With that, I would go to university far away. "She didn't finish school but started working early. "I lived in a small town with my mother, "and she already had her own apartment. "in a really rundown district of a huge city. "Things just didn't work out.
"We kept in contact over the years, "but I wouldn't say we were friends. "We were people who liked to catch up via text or phone. "every six to 10 months. "When I was home, we hooked up. "But this stopped when she met her soon-to-be husband. "I can't tell you anything about him. "'cause I never met him in person. "They fell in love, got married, "and Helena got pregnant with a daughter. "They were happy together. "I didn't really care. "I thought it was sad that we didn't talk anymore, "but I understood. "I wasn't as lucky as her when it came to relationships. "If you read my comments to other posts, "you'll see that I had my fair share of problems.
"I kind of accepted that I would never have a family, "a stable relationship, "or at least more than three days in a row. "of not being depressed. "Let's say alcohol isn't the best idea in such a situation. "At least I was high functioning. "I did really well in university and started a career. "It brought me back to my home region. "I hadn't heard from Helena in several years. "What I didn't know was that my life was a cakewalk. "compared to hers at this time. "Helena's husband was killed in a car crash. "Some asshole was driving under the influence. "and thought he could make the turn.
"before her husband would pass. "It wasn't me, but it was one more argument. "for me to stop drinking. "I never asked for more details. "She doesn't like this topic, so I try to respect it. "She couldn't handle what happened. "and ended up in a clinic for her mental health. "Her daughter was with her mother at the time. "The day she was released, she had her own car crash. "Turns out the doctors weren't joking. "when they told her she shouldn't drive. "with the drugs they were giving her. "She went back to the clinic. "Then she saw on Facebook that I was back in town. "She wrote me, and I answered. "I visited her. "She liked that I wasn't cursing at her for driving drunk.
"I didn't think I had the right to do it, "given my love of alcohol. "I won't bore you with the details of how it proceeded. "We married and built a house together. "Her daughter didn't like me at first, "but we bonded the second I bought a PS5. "She's a gamer. "We jokingly say the gamer gene comes from me. "Neither her mom nor her dad liked it. "But my wife has gotten really good at pretending though. "But I returned the favor by pretending I like horses. "My stepdaughter, Leah, calls me by my first name.
"I like it. "From what I heard, she had an amazing dad, "and I never wanted to be a father. "I don't think I would be a good one. "I told her that I don't wish to replace her dad. "She refused to believe me until one day. "when I told her that I would need the PS5 the whole evening. "and she would need to use her PS4 in her room. "to play Minecraft with her friends. "She said something along the lines of, "'Good parents would share the console.'. "I reminded her that I'm not her parent. "She started laughing. "Her mom hates me for that. "because she needs to be the one setting all the rules. "I understand that some of you probably think. "I should help Helena.
"and not just be the everything goes stepdad. "But Leah accepts me and she feels at home in our house. "Her mom continues to do an amazing job raising her. "I think I do best by respecting her and demanding respect. "when it comes to my stuff. "Leah knows she can ask me for advice, "and I am far better in helping with her homework. "than her mother. "Every year they visit Leah's father's grave. "on the day the accident happened. "At first, I asked her if she wanted me out of the house. "for the day 'cause I can understand they need the hours. "for themselves. "On the third year they asked me to drive them.
"I waited in the car. "We went to the restaurant afterwards. "It was very silent. "I had no idea what to talk about. "The thing is I am incredibly happy. "I was gifted with a family that I love. "I had given up on believing I could ever have this. "I really had. "But I feel incredible guilt. "A good man had to die for my happiness. "So once every three months I visit his grave on my own. "and talk to him. "They don't know this, "and I have no intention of telling them. "I thank him and I tell him about his wife and his daughter. "and his parents if I happen to know something about them.
"They have trouble with me. "They are cordial, but I can see it in their faces. "when I drop my daughter off or come and get her. "It shouldn't be me who does it. "and nothing will ever change that. "Today is the day they will visit him. "after they're out of work/school. "I think I'll visit him the next day. "and tell him about this post, "tell him that other people knew he existed. "and that he did an amazing job. "Thanks, dear reader, for reading until here. "I hope it wasn't too weird. "I'm not sure if I will answer any questions. "Writing about me feeling guilty. "because of his death already feels really hard.".
- Wow. - Yeah, that got me. - Wait, I thought he talked to, I thought he had a conversation. I thought I was waiting for... - No, so what he's saying is-. - I was waiting for a dead interaction. - I was too. - I know, I know. I thought this was gonna be like a haunting. No, he just, he goes privately. - Yeah. - [Shayne] Yeah. - And nothing... Wow, the movie trailer really-. (everyone laughs). Really tells you the movie's different than the-. - I was very uncertain. I was like, I think these are wholesome, but what is this? - I was like getting ready for him to tell him something.
- That was 2015 YouTube titling strategy. - Yes. - [Shayne] Yeah. - That was pretty good. Wow. - That is so sweet. - Wow. - What a very just complex and deep relationship. You know, just how that whole thing was based off of. And just like everything that this guy is like feeling. in terms of like... I mean, the relationship means a lot to him. that this all kinda came to be. - [Shayne] Yeah.
- Also, it contains one of my favorite lines. "We bonded as soon as they knew I bought a PS5.". That was my favorite. - [Angela] That was really... - A PS5 can mend most relationships. - Put that right on the box. - Sony. Sony. - Sony. - Sony, your stepdaughter will think you're cool. (everyone laughs). So these comments here. Someone said, "All these damn onions all over the place.". - Yeah, totally. - Someone said, "From what you described about that man,
"he must be at peace to know that his wife. "and his daughter are in safe hands. "and loved the way they deserve to be. "Cheers, mate. "You're a good man and you deserve this happiness. "for the effort you've put into yourself.". - I was gonna say, what a lovely kind of like tale. of thinking that you are at your lowest. and deserving of nothing, and yet life turns around and says, "Hey, you can grow from this. "Here's some seeds, plant them, "and do the right thing to watch them grow.". - I like you. (everyone laughs). - It was just really nice, 'cause like I feel like,
I mean, I definitely know that there are those human moments. where you're just like, "Damn, am I like worthy of being forgiven. "and growing from this?". - And it feels like he just is acknowledging so much. that this family used to be a part of somebody else, or not belong, but used to have another person. And he is now, he's not taking the place of somebody, but it feels like he's always acknowledging the other person.
that used to be there. - Well, 'cause there's love, but I think what this shows is like the ultimate respect. - Yes, it's respect. Yeah, yeah. - Which is so important. And he really respects them to the point. where even when if they don't know about it, he respects them. And I think that's so cool. - It is very, and I don't know if he knows how singular. that can be in a person. Like, what a trait, what a virtue that is on its own. - Well, especially considering so many stories we read.
on this show are about dads and stepdads who are garbage. - Oh, yeah. - And so to read someone whose heart is so. in the right place is so nice. - And everything else there just in regards. to that relationship that he has with the daughter, I feel like that is all parts of the growing pains. of coming into a family that's already been created. - And just good for grief. Like, grief on behalf of both his partner and the daughter. Like, I think so much of it is like not being in denial.
that something happened, right? And like holding space for that, whether they wanna do that or not. Like, he just, yeah. - Yeah, one last comment here. "I'm a widow in my 30s. "We knew my husband was dying for two years due to cancer. "Towards the end, one night he woke me, crying, "begging me to promise him. "that I would find someone to love/remarry. "because the thought of me spending the rest of my life sad. "and alone was tearing him apart. "He couldn't bear to think of my life ending with his. "It's been less than a year now since he's passed, "and I can't imagine ever being ready to do so.
"But the point of my comment is to tell you your presence. "has been a gift to your wife and daughter. "He wouldn't have wanted them to suffer alone. "You honor him by loving and caring for them. "because he cannot.". - Yeah, this is gonna destroy me. (everyone laughs). 'Cause I can only imagine feeling that way. and just like how big of a move that is. to have to tell somebody that and you want them to be happy. It's-. - This is (beep) crazy that (beep) idiots.
are on Reddit doing-. (everyone laughs). Doing stupid shit. - Okay. (laughs). - No, no. On a site where idiots are on Reddit doing stupid shit, there's also this. - Yeah. - Reddit has, man, I've taken a break for a while, but I used to-. (Thomas laughs). I would scroll Reddit for a while, and I mean, the problem is you'd read this followed up. by something that infuriates you, followed up by something that's like a dumb meme.
The human brain should not be processing-. - The brain chemistry shifts. - My brain is like, "What has happened on this day?". (everyone laughs). - Thank you for giving me this curated Reddit experience. - Yes, we're giving you all the best parts of it. I feel like there's nothing else to say on that one. - Yeah. - Okay, next one. "Am I the asshole for calling my brother a silly goose. "to his kids?" (laughs). Oh shit. - I am very interested.
- Yes? That was the silly goose department. (everyone laughs). - Thank you for calling. - Okay, here we go. "So I'm a 22-year-old woman who lives alone. "I have an older brother, "and we have a pretty significant age gap, "around five years.". Okay. - Significant? - Significant. "My brother has two kids, ages three and five. "This past weekend we met up, "and he asked me to spend a day with his kids. "down at the local playground while he ran some errands. "This was completely fine with me. "I love kids. "He left, and me and the kids went down to the playground.
"When we were walking there, "the five-year-old asked if I liked his dad. "I told him I thought he was such a silly goose. "The kid didn't comment on it. "He just kept asking a few random questions. "about other things, and I didn't think anything of it. "After a little while of us playing at the playground, "my brother came back, "and as soon as the kids noticed, they ran up to him. "I could tell they were saying something to him. "I couldn't exactly tell what though. "Afterward he came to me. "and asked to speak to me in private for a second.". (everyone laughs).
What did you say to him? Did you tell him I'm a silly goose? - What? - Did you tell him I'm a silly goose? - I thought this was still part of the... (everyone laughs). - No. This is just us being crazy. - I love it. - Okay, okay, okay. "Afterward he came up to me. "and asked to speak to me in private for a second. "We go to a tree a few feet away, "and then he starts quietly scolding me, "telling me I shouldn't have called him that. "That.
"He said it set a bad example and image for the kids. "I was confused about what he was talking about, "so I asked him. "He told me he meant I shouldn't have called him. "a silly goose. "I told him he was overreacting. "and that I didn't understand why he would take offense. "over saying that he's a silly goose to his kids. "After that, I thought we had had left the kids unattended. "for too long, so I decided to head back to the playground. "He called me an asshole on the way back.". - Oh, oh, so... - "The rest of our meetup. "was really awkward and tense between us. "The kids seemed to have fun though. "When I got home, I was thinking to myself. "if what I said was really that bad.
"and if I had changed those kids image of their father. "Am I the asshole?". Well, I'll tell you one thing-. - I have a lot to unpack. - He's not a silly goose. - Definitely not the definition of silly goose. First of all, now I just visual, he's gotta be just very, very stuffy. I imagine him now as the stuffy dad. from "The Sound of Music.". Like, "Did you call me a silly goose?". - Oh, the guy who sings, yeah. - Yeah, he's got to be. - He's the one who sings "Edelweiss.". ♪ Edelweiss ♪ - With a full navel outfit. You got to. (Shayne laughs).
There's definitely an insecurity situation going on here. - [Angela] Yeah, yeah. - But I do, oh man, I absolutely adore this story. - In the same breath he goes, "You can't call me a silly goose. "You're an asshole.". (everyone laughs). - Don't call me a silly goose, you asshole. (everyone laughs). - I hate him. - I love that. I think that's, I mean, no, I don't actually love that. This whole situation is a little messy. But I just find that so funny.
that the kids like whispered it over to him. Like, this was like, maybe there was like an incident. that happened in the household. Also, he's only five years older than her, so like there's not this level of superiority. that he should have on her at this point. And I do feel like she should've, "Come on, come on. "I could've called you much worse, buddy.". - Your dad's a silly goose. - What would've made this funnier. is if the kids held onto it. And then when the kid's like 25. They're skipping rocks by a lake, and he's like,
"Dad, there's something I... "Forever ago, Aunt Cindy said something, and I... "Are you, are you a silly goose?". (everyone laughs). And he's just like, "I never wanted you to find out.". (everyone laughs). - Or that kid's talking to their therapist, and they're like, "Well, do you think your dad's an alcoholic?". And they're like, "No, I think he's a silly goose.". (everyone laughs).
- And the therapist is like, "Interesting, interesting.". Comments here. "Not the asshole. "It is clear from this interaction. "that this man is perhaps the silliest of geese.". (everyone laughs). Someone said, "I've met a lot of gooses in my life. "This guy definitely seems like one of the silliest.". Someone else said-. (Thomas laughs). "Maybe clarify with your brother what it means to him. "Perhaps he views it differently than others. "To me it's a silly endearment, "but it could be different to him or his kids?". - That's my only explanation for this. - Yeah, I will say like, I don't know.
I have one experience that makes me think of this. Like, with kids and the way they are with words. when they're young with parents sometimes can be weird. Like, once I was with my friend and her kids, and I said, like I was saying like, "Come on, dude,". to her daughter who is younger. And she was like, "I'm not a dude.". And they got mad, and they were like, "Oh, she's not a dude.". And I was like, "Oh no, I didn't mean like that.". Like, maybe silly goose was interpreted by the kids.
and by the dad like as something like disrespectful. - Yes. - You know, like, I don't know like-. - But he should have clarified that. He could have said why. - Totally. - Yeah. - I think, now this is a complete out of left field theory, but, and I don't watch a lot of "South Park,". but there was that one episode. where like they hung around with a lot of I think gay men, and they used the term silly goose. And the dad in that show got mad at the kid.
for calling the other kid like, "You silly goose.". And so maybe this guy, this is a big old theory-. - Big old theory. - And if I'm wrong, I'm wrong because I don't know. - 'Cause this guy's 27. - Just a theory. But like maybe there's like kind of like a connection there. - In his mind. - In his mind, and maybe he's even embarrassed to even admit. that that's his psychological connection to it. - He is a 27-year-old man. He probably has watched a lot of "South Park.".
(Thomas laughs). It's a fair guess. - It completely could be a theory. - If he's that insecure. - [Thomas] Right. - Or just even calling your parents, I think having your young kids hearing someone. say something disrespectful about your dad. could be just like, "Hey, we don't talk about dad that way.". - Could be just that, yeah. - Yeah, you call me sir. - [Angela] Yeah. - Right. They just probably refrain from all name calling, and maybe he's very strict about that. - All right, next one. Are you ready, you silly geese?
- I was just gonna say the same thing. (everyone laughs). - "Am I the asshole for telling my soon-to-be niece. "that she doesn't need to wear a dress to my wedding?". - No. Next story. (everyone laughs). - "I, a 32-year-old woman, am getting married to my fiance, "a 41-year-old man, next year. "After we got engaged, I suggested it might be nice. "to ask my fiance's niece, 15, "if she wanted to be a bridesmaid too. "I've only met her a couple of times, so we're not close. "But she seemed like a cool kid, "and I thought it might be nice. "for us to bond/get to know each other.
"and involve her in the wedding. "She's the only niece/nephew on either side of the family. "Anyway, cut to a few weeks ago, "and we're in my fiance's hometown to visit his family. "and discuss wedding stuff. "Fiance's brother, sister-in-law, "and their daughter came over, and I noticed this time. "that she was dressed a lot more androgynous. "than I remembered. "The topic eventually moved to wedding dresses. "and bridesmaids dresses, "and I could see she was immediately uncomfortable. "Her parents, mostly her mom, "and grandma were making comments about how she'd need. "to be more feminine, brush her hair, et cetera,
"and how nice it would be to see her like that. "I'll be honest and say this hit a nerve with me. "I was very much a tomboy as a teenager, "even though I'm not anymore. "And it absolutely broke me. "whenever my relatives would say things like that. "Eventually her mother made a comment along the lines of, "'It'll be nice to see you dress like a girl for once.'. "My soon-to-be niece looked really sad, embarrassed, "and overall hurt. "In response since that really hit a nerve, "I immediately told her that my maid of honor. "would be wearing a trouser suit for the wedding. "and not a dress, "that I'd given all the bridesmaids the option.
"of wearing anything they want. "as long as it's in the wedding color to make things easier. "I pulled out my phone and started showing her photos. "of the ideas my friend had sent me. "A jumpsuit, culottes, a trouser suit, "a tailored tux, et cetera. "And let her know that she could pick anything. "at all she wanted. "She could even wear jeans and trainers. "if that made her comfortable. "It's a wedding, not a fashion show. "She perked up a bit when I said that, "but her mom looked really pissed off. "She's since asked my fiance to pressure me.
"into getting all the bridesmaids dresses. "so that their daughter will have to wear one, "which LOL no. "My husband doesn't give a shit what she wears, "but he also doesn't want his family and I to be arguing. "on the wedding day. "I don't wanna back down. "because I know what it feels like to be pressured. "into wearing something that makes you uncomfortable. "On the other hand, I know it's only for a day. "and it'd make the family happy. "Am I the asshole for trying to overrule her parents?". It's your wedding. - I was gonna say, whose wedding is it? - [Shayne] Yeah. - You should be having your wedding for you.
in this situation. - We've covered a lot of wedding stuff, and the typical consensus here and on Reddit is like, it's your wedding, you get to decide, right? Nobody gets to make those those rules for you. - And I think we talk about this even here all the time. where it's like it's your body. No one gets to make those rules. - Yes, there's a lot of layers. of hey, you're overruling something you shouldn't be. - [Angela] Yeah, exactly. - Well, and also like just the idea of you asking.
in such an indirect way of like going about. how you want your daughter to do something. Like, you should pressure all of the bridesmaids. to do this thing. Like, I don't know. If you want to be the mean parent, be the mean parent. But I'm not going to do that. - The only thing I can understand for a second. in the second half of this was I don't want the family. to be upset and having drama or whatever. 'Cause I come from a family. where the first family wedding I ever went to,
my mother came around, stuck her hand on my shoulder, 'cause it was my cousin's wedding, and they were doing something on their own. that the family didn't like. Come from a very Italian household. And it's very just, you know, the family first. And the bride wanted something, I don't remember. And I was like 15. And my mother puts her hand on my shoulder. She goes, "I want you to remember this for your wedding.
"It's about your family, not you.". My mom walked away. - Goodness. (Shayne laughs). - And I went, "Okay.". (Shayne laughs). I will remember that. And, you know, and I think that is a big thing. that people have to struggle with, which is pleasing other people, 'cause you have to please a lot of people at your wedding. And you want peace at some point, right? And you don't want drama. But it's your wedding and it's your body, it's your family,
it's people you love, and you should let people do what they want. - I feel like it has to be like a generational, this is what you've come to expect with a wedding. - Yeah. And you wanna please your elders. is what I hear all the time. And you wanna make the mother happy. And if the mother wants her daughter in a dress. But at some point, my god, get over it, lady. - [Shayne] Gets out of hand. - Yeah, I mean the the world is burning. (everyone laughs).
Let's let our weddings be for us. - Yeah, come on. - Let's stop worrying about what we're wearing. (laughs). - So the verdict was not the asshole obviously. - Yeah, I would definitely agree with that. - Yes. "Definitely not the asshole. "Don't back down. "Stand your ground. "Never in my life had I thought I would be urging someone. "to be a bridezilla. "Please be the bridezilla. "Go full bridezilla.". - I feel like there's worse bridezillas than that. - She is not a bridezilla. - [Angela] I know. - She's actually so chill. - She's an ally bridezilla, come on. - I love it. - Exactly.
"Not the asshole. "I love your attitude. "And in the future I think you should position yourself. "as your niece's ally. "I think she needs one. "Her parents are the crappy ones.". - Yeah. - And then, "The mother's also trying. "to force the entire bridal party. "into buying bridesmaid dresses. "instead of what they already planned and budgeted for. "It's not just cruel to the niece, "it's an inconvenience to all of the other people.". - Yes. - That's a very fair point. - Maid of honor, yeah. It's so strange. And I know, look, I am not a mother.
I know the mother-daughter relationship might be complicated. but I have never understood caring that much. about what people wear. - Right. - I don't think I ever will, but maybe that's also generational. - Yeah. - I think so. There might be pressure that are being put on the mom. and how she's raising her kid from her family members. There could be all sorts of things that are going. Like most these situations, it's complicated. And it's hard to pass a flat judgment.
without really knowing everybody's context. - No, you're right. But like you said, the world's burning. - Yeah. And I think also you do have to take into account. how the bride's feeling and how this daughter's feeling. And it should, you know, sometimes you can't make everybody happy. (laughs). - But at the end of the day, she decided anyone can wear whatever they want. That's the rule. - Yes. On this day, let's make the bride happy. - Exactly. This episode is brought to you by DoorDash. Do you want fresh groceries. but don't have the time to go shopping for them yourself? Well, try grocery delivery from DoorDash.
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(everyone laughs). - It's called anime, okay? (everyone laughs). - It's called Shakespeare. - It's called half of Archive of Our Own. - Shakespeare is anime, let's be real. So this comes from True Off My Chest, so it's a confession someone is making. - [Thomas] Ooh. - That's the whole point of this subreddit. - "Yeah, well shit. "I am a man.". (Thomas and Angela laugh). "I am a man, and he is also a man. "I thought I left this gay phase at 15, but no. "I knew him for about three years.
"since I started drag racing. "And since the first day we have had our rivalry. "But despite that, he was always there. "Whenever I needed him, there he was. "He saved me so many times and still counting. "Corny, I know. "I just woke up one day and felt the need to see him, "touch him in all sorts of ways. "He just went back to his military service.". This is just-. - Everything! - Hello! - This is everything. - This summer! (applauds). - I need the movie rights.
- Yep, I'm here. I bought my ticket. I'm at AMC. - "Yesterday I thought he was just being nicer. "A hug is not something unusual, "but when it's all the time, it's something else, right? "Today I just realized that I love him. "I love him, and I feel heartbroken. "It feels like my heart was ripped from my chest. "Maybe he was just being nice because he would miss me, "and my mind got the wrong signals? "I needed to get this out. "because I just don't trust anyone to spit it out. "And he could see this. "Ryan, I love you with all my heart. "I (beep) love you.".
So I haven't read or watched "Red, White, and Royal Blue,". is this-. - This is better. (Shayne laughs). Wow. Wow. - Is there an update? - Comments. - A drag racer and a marine, I'm assuming. He didn't tell me. - You're right. This is better than "Red, White, and Royal Blue.". Every sentence-. - It just kept getting better. - That was like a fighting game. when you're getting a combo going. It was like, whoa!
- There was new information each sentence. - Yeah. - Oh man. - Holy shit, that's the best Reddit post I've ever seen. - Wow. - And this guy reads Reddit every day. - I was gonna say. I was like, is that the caliber you get all the time? 'Cause I need to sign up to Reddit now. (laughs). - Some comments here. "I hope Ryan sees this.". Someone said (scoffs). Someone said, "No homo, I swear. "But that was a beautiful profession of love. "Go get your man.". - It was important. because I was about to call that commenter a homo.
(everyone laughs). I'm so glad that they specified. (laughs). - Thanks for saying that, man. - Thanks for saying that, dude. - Thank god. - You saved yourself. - Someone said, "What in the Wattpad?". (Thomas laughs). - That's so true. - [Shayne] Okay. - Wow. Wow. All I have to say is wow. Five stars. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Give it two thumbs up, from heaven. - It's a good thing we have an update. - Yes, yes! (everyone laughs).
It's Christmas morning! - It just keeps getting better. (everyone laughs). Please let it be a good update. - Okay. "As I confessed my sad heart aching story a month ago, "that was quick AF. "Ryan obviously got the tea. "because a mutual friend on this subreddit. "went on snitch mode. "I received a letter this morning from him. "I won't go into details, "but I couldn't be happier to tell you. "that he reciprocated my feelings. "I feel like for once in my life things are going right. "I was in relationships before, but never felt this way.
"I've been chuckling like an asshole all day long, "and I just thought to give the last post a happy ending. "That's it. "Thanks for reading.". - Wow. Wow, wow, wow. That is everything. - "Saving Private Ryan.". (everyone laughs). - Saving Ryan's private. (everyone laughs). Oh my gosh, that's so good. - He's been chuckling like an asshole. (everyone laughs). - I'm in cloud nine from this. This is gonna be enough to get me. through the rest of the day. - This whole episode proves Reddit.
to be a beautiful, magical place. - Oh my gosh. I really do need the movie or just the Lifetime special. Just something. - Yeah. - Truly like, and I'm assuming when he said drag racing, I'm assuming not RuPaul's Drag Race. - Not RuPaul, yeah. - I'm assuming we're talking about literal-. - Like race. - Drag race. Oh, that's so good. And to proclaim the love on Reddit, just to like, I need to fricking take up, I need to try this technique because... (crew laughs).
- And somebody sent it to him, and then he just did a quick little update. 'cause he's obviously in love. He doesn't even wanna be on the internet that long. He's like, "Just a heads up, I'm in love. "Chuckling. Bye.". - I know. I want to know this other person who went into snitch mode. He's so happy with this person who went into snitch mode. - Yo. Oh, oh, oh. - That's a friend. - They went into snitch mode. - That's a friend, I'm gonna connect. - That's so good. - Look, it's one of those where I'm like, even if it's fake, and I don't think it is, even if it's fake, well done, sir. - I didn't even think about that. You're right, it could have been, but I don't cares. - If it's fake, then Shonda Rhimes went on Reddit.
and gave us free shit. (everyone laughs). - No, that's, yeah. - So good. - That's amazing. - So many details to that. Holy shit. Okay, here we go. This is also from True Off My Chest. Another confession we have here. "I'm gay and my wife doesn't know.". - Oh. - Okay, let's get into this. "My wife and I have been together nine years, "married for seven, but I know that I'm gay. "I've never been attracted to another woman other than her,
"but I've been attracted to lots of men. "I've never been in a sexual relationship with a man. "But if I wasn't with my wife, I know I would be. "My preferences when I'm by myself. "have only ever been over men, LOL. "But it's strange. "My wife is my soulmate in the most absolute sense. "It doesn't matter that she's a woman. "I'm so in love with her mind and her heart. "and her as a human being. "that she could literally be in any body. "and I would love and worship her. "Even being with her sexually is incredible. "because it's her. "I know this makes no sense and that's why I can't tell her.
"She would think she isn't enough because she isn't a man, "but she's the other half of my soul, "and I could never, ever hurt her or be without her. "I think every inch of her body is beautiful, "and she lights me up like no other human ever could. "She completes me, "and I know I won't need to be with anyone else, "but I know no one will believe that. "Is it possible to be gay except one woman? "If so, that's what I am, LOL.". Edit, "I realize now I'm probably on the bisexual spectrum. "somewhere instead and I'm content with that.
"I don't really need a label. "Oh, and those calling me a pervert, a degenerate, "a fetishist, et cetera, for being attracted to men, "I suggest you try replacing the hate in your heart. "with love. "It's worked out very well for me.". I'm gonna move on to the update we have for this. - Yeah, this feels like-. - That feels incomplete for me. But complicated feelings. - [Angela] Yeah. - Deeply complicated for that guy. "So after I posted here last week, I did a lot of research. "and I'm fairly certain I'm bisexual. "with a strong physical preference for men,
"but demisexual when it comes to women. "I've never had deep feelings for anyone except my wife, "male or female. "But when I met her and started to develop those feelings, "the physical attraction strongly followed. "I obviously don't plan on ever finding out. "if it would be the same with other women, "nor do I plan on being with men. "despite what some people said. "Either way, these labels don't really matter in themselves. "because I won't be exploring it. "But I did decide I wanted to tell my wife. "and they helped me articulate it. "So I sort of blurted it all out to her over the weekend.
"I told her I'm probably bisexual/demisexual. "and initially wasn't sure. "whether to tell her she's the only woman I've ever been. "with sexually attracted to, but I did in the end. "I told her my love for her wasn't defined by her gender, "but that she's my soulmate. "and I'm truly in love with her heart, "her mind, and her body. "Those of you who said she probably knew. "more than I thought were right. "She was sort of surprised, but not entirely. "She said she assumed I wasn't straight. "because she had a vibe. "Not sure what that means.
"And she'd noticed I'd never talked. "about how other women were attractive. "I think she was surprised that my preference. "other than her skews so significantly towards men. "But she knows I don't wanna pursue it, "so she said it doesn't matter. "She also told me she thinks she's. "on the bisexual spectrum too somewhere herself, "though likewise has no plans to explore it. "But it's such a relief to have it. "all out in the open with her. "I told her I'd be more than happy to go to therapy with her. "if she wants help processing, "and she said that's not necessary right now, "but it's good to know it's an option in the future.
"Thank you to everyone who left kind and critical. "but constructive messages. "And no thank you to the homophobes. "Looks like everything will be okay.". Aw. - I love that. - Yeah. - I love that. - Yeah. - I think that is a perfect example. of how wide the spectrum of attraction is. and how just beautifully colorful it can be. - Yes. - You know, and labels are very useful for people.
to help kind of put them in a place. where that helps them understand themselves, but at a certain point for some people it's just easier. for them to be like, "I like this person. "and, you know, for whatever reason it just clicks. "with that person,". and it sometimes just comes down to that. So for me, that made perfect sense to me, you know? And I love that she also was like, "I'm on the bisexual spectrum I think as well.". 'Cause she also can understand, like now she's coming from a place of understanding. - Well, it's kind of sweet that she's like, "I had a vibe," but you know.
- I know, I love that. - And that boxing it in is actually where it gets weird. And that like pressuring and trying to figure it out, like in the moment under a label might be what-. - I like what you said though, that labels do help some people. For some people a label might be. the puzzle piece they're missing, but for others it might complicate their thing. So to be like, hey, you don't need 'em if you don't want them. - And that's why I think, 'cause a lot of people are like, you know, there's that whole argument of like,
"Oh, well last week you were this. "This week you're that.". Well, that's because I'm still trying. to figure myself out, buddy. Maybe I didn't get that label just correctly. Or maybe just my preferences do change. It does happen with some people. - [Angela] Yeah. - And you try and figure yourself like, oh, I thought I was this like, but this week I actually have figured a little bit more. about myself out, and I feel like I'm actually feeling more comfortable. with this label. But then some people are just like, "I like what I like. "It's too complicated to break it down like that.". And I think that it was such a healthy.
kind of like development for him. He obviously was trying to figure this out. He was obviously trying to process it. He goes on to Reddit to try and get that feedback, and then he gets to the next step of now wanting. to talk about it with the person who he loves. and trusts in the world, and she appreciated that. And I think it's like a beautiful story of communication. and self discovery. - And a safe place that he comes to. where then she can go to too and go, "Well, actually I'm thinking this as well.". Yeah.
- It's so great. - [Thomas] Love it. - Once again compared to most Reddit stories we read, which are all about just the worst communication possible. or lack of communication in general, this is like deep intense communication. about a very complicated subject. Like, he doesn't even fully understand, but he's still communicating to her everything he knows. - [Angela] Totally. - And the trust that they gained for each other. throughout this process is huge. 'Cause now they're like, "Well, I know you would tell me anything. "because you told me something.
"that you probably were scared to tell anybody.". - Exactly. And he was like offering up the resources for therapy. She's like, "We communicate really well I think.". - A therapist would be like, "Thank you for the hour charge.". - Yeah. (everyone laughs). - Even though you're here for five minutes, I have to charge you for the hour. - Yeah. - So comments here. "Labels are so pointless at the end of the day. "You're attracted to men. "and you're over the moon for your wife, "just loving her is most important.". OP responded, "You're right. "I think I've worried and psyched myself out over the label.
"when actually I guess that's pretty unimportant. "if I never want to be with anybody but her anyway.". Someone else said, "She is the other half of my soul. "and I could never hurt her or be without her. "This is so beautiful. "What a lucky man to have found that in another person. "Love is transcendent and doesn't need a body. "to know when it's found the perfect fit. "The spectrum of the human soul is not one size fits all. "We are a panoply of keys and locks. "within an infinite range of doors all labeled love. "Knowing yourself the way you do is a blessing.
"and finding your person in all the people is everything.". - I gotta look up the word panoply. - A complete or impressive collection of things. ♪ Look at this panoply ♪. ♪ Isn't it neat ♪. (everyone laughs). - Okay, that's awesome. - Let's get into this next story here. "I, female 18, realized all the sacrifices. "my older brother, 25, made for us.". This is from True Off My Chest. A lot of those. A quick trigger warning, there's referencing of parental abuse in this.
Here we go. "Created this account just for this story. "Also, I want to keep in mind that I'm sharing this story. "from my perspective and from what my brother told me. "So I don't know how much is completely accurate, "but I also don't have a reason to doubt the accuracy. "Me and my siblings grew up in a highly abusive environment. "Besides my older brother, I have two younger siblings, "a younger brother and a younger sister. "Our parents were addicted to alcohol. "They would drink every day, "and it was like a forced round of Russian roulette. "We either had luck.
"and they would just argue downstairs with each other. "or they would come upstairs to release their anger onto us. "Whenever they did, my older brother would stand guard. "at the stairs to make sure we were safe. "He would try to make them focus on him. "So whenever they came upstairs, "they would physically unleash on him. "And when they tried to enter any of our rooms, "he would provoke them so they would focus on him. "and hurt him until they were too tired to focus on us. "While he protected us from them, "he sacrificed his own childhood. "And instead of doing something he liked, "he educated himself and learned how to do programming.
"each and every single day. "He knew that something from the IT. "and programming sector would get him a high paying job. "and his goal was to get out of there and take us with him. "But to take care of us, he needed money. "He also never had friends at school. "because he saw friends as a waste of time for his goals, "let alone the fact. "that he never properly finished his education. "because he was more worried about us than his own future. "When he was 18, he did an internship for a local IT office. "that was looking for employees, "and after a few weeks he got the job.
"and he was making good money. "After he moved out, "he found an apartment with enough space for all of us. "And from that day on, "he tried everything to get us out of there. "After my brother was gone, we had to take on a lot, "but at least we didn't have to wait for long. "After my parents got arrested, "we started to live with my brother. "He had to do a bit more stuff. "so that my younger siblings could live with us too. "But he somehow managed to convince authorities. "to let them stay with us. "I will never understand where he got all this energy from.
"to do all this. "I was still underage when we continued to live with him, "but in his new job, he made enough money. "to make sure we had it good. "and he finally gave us the loving and caring home we craved. "for such a long time. "I adore him so much. "He was so selfless all the time, "and rather took care of us than himself. "Yesterday something happened. "that made me wanna share this story. "I woke up and went to get some breakfast, "and when I passed my brother's door, "I heard him crying in his room. "I knocked on his door and went inside, "and the moment he saw me, "he wiped away his tears and smiled. "He asked if I was all right.
"I didn't feel the need to answer. "I just hugged him. "I felt so sorry for him. "He sacrificed everything so that we were safe. "He couldn't hold in his tears any longer. "And I told him that he should probably go to therapy. "because what he went through would be way too much. "to handle for anyone. "I adore him so much, and I'll forever be grateful. "for every sacrifice he made for us. "He did not deserve any of the things our parents. "put him through. "We as a whole never deserved what our parents. "put us through. "They were supposed to be a safe space for all of us, "but instead they were abusers.
"I will help my brother, "and I will make sure he feels loved too. "He deserves to have a safe space too. "He wants to be ours, so I wanna be his. "Thank you for reading.". Damn. - Gosh, dude. I mean... I mean, that is very wholesome. You do see a lot of these kids. who have their childhoods taken away from them. at such an early age, but god bless him for doing that, and also for him to also get his siblings out.
and now his siblings to be there for him. You know, the ones he truly loved and wanted to protect. - He saved his siblings in more ways than one too, 'cause he saved them physically. But I think he also saved them. by being a loving authority figure for them. - Yeah, by not being hardened. - So that they have something, so they're, he broke the cycle for all of them, which is so cool. - [Thomas] That's so true. - At least, you know, I don't know all these people. - But it sounds like he broke, yeah. - He gave them such a better chance in every way possible.
- Like, to just give them like a light. at the end of the tunnel sort of thing. - [Shayne] Truly. - For both of them. - It sounds like a fricking superhero origin. There's a bunch of comments here. Someone said, "Oh my god, somebody cutting onions in here.". Same guy from earlier being like, "All these onions.". - Somebody needs to get him outta that room of onions. - Yeah, man, we gotta save that guy. Someone said, "Lucky you all are to have that wonderful man.
"as your brother. "Let him know how much you appreciate him and love him, "but also let him know it wasn't fair. "and it's okay to have feelings. "about the position he's been put in. "I hope that you are all able to find a therapist. "that can help you untangle this mess. "I'm so sorry you were put in this mess, "but incredible that you all got out and are doing well. "Hugs to you all.". - Yeah, I have to imagine that after so many years. of having to fight for that, you have a trauma. that doesn't leave you as soon as you get to the safe place. Like, you're still in this like potential defensive mode.
for a very long time and hard to break that shell down, so I love that she encouraged him to be like, "Let's go to therapy, work through this.". - And I'm grateful that she saw it and sees it. and says something. Because I feel like with sacrifice, the worst thing that could come. if it's not noticed sometimes is bitterness. - [Thomas] Yep. - Like, if it goes on for too long, he can harden. and just like, kind of just, I don't know, if it's not really noticed or thanked or, I don't know.
There is some sacrifice that goes without being noticed. and sometimes it's okay. But I feel like for him to keep living the life he's living, he needs to be able to break down in front of her. and he needs to be able to be taken care of as well. - It's so important to communicate. because in our own heads we... Delusion is often used as like a negative way, but like we can get delusional in our own heads.
of thinking like, "I'm alone.". Or thinking, "Oh, nobody cares about me.". And it's just like, no, you're being delusional. You're wrong. You actually have a network. And it's important to really stay in reality. with everyone in your life. - Yeah. I can imagine that's the good things. that can come out of these Reddit stories. because people can put these down here. so they can see that they are not alone. - [Shayne] Yeah. - And I do know people. who have dealt with real inter-family struggles. and do sacrifices for their siblings. and their siblings do not ignore.
- That's what I was gonna say is like especially people. who, you know, who are just like, I don't know, been going through it. and they're just like one thing to the next, one thing to the next. Especially maybe some of the younger kids. They might not see it. They might not notice it. Especially when you're raised by a warrior brother like that. who's just like, "Oh yeah, my brother's just strong.". - And I don't know the ages of the younger siblings, but that seems like it might be more her job. to tell them the situation that they're in.
Someone said, "Your brother is a goddamn superhero. "I rarely ever cry while reading a story, "but this was fucking awesome to read, "and I got a bit misty-eyed, not gonna lie. "I say when you get the chance, "pay to take him out for some sort of childish adventure. "Something that will allow him to live a little. "of that childhood he missed out on. "before he gets too old to actually enjoy it, LOL.". OP responded to that saying, "I actually thought about doing this. "His birthday is in a month, "and I thought about giving him a bit. "of the childhood he never had.". So an update. So let's see what happens here.
"My post is three months old, "but I thought I might give you an update. "just in case you're interested. "So in the last three months I got a job. "and started to earn money myself. "I wanted to take some weight off his shoulders. "and take care of the many things. "so that he doesn't have to. "After everything he went through, he deserves a break. "And I try to make sure he learns. "to take care of his mental health, "which is still pretty bad after everything that happened. "I honestly underestimated how bad it was and still is. "I think that this shield he created to protect himself. "through the years of trauma is now starting to crumble.
"All the emotions he's held back. "and all of the pent up pain is coming up, "and emotional breakdowns have been happening quite a bit. "He's in therapy, but it will take a while. "for him to feel better. "You see, my younger siblings and I were traumatized too, "but at least we were kept safe enough by him. "so that we could express and let our emotions out.". - Yeah. - "He never had that safe space. "He had to bottle up everything. "It's a good thing that now he has us as his safe space, "but I just don't know if it's enough. "He is the most important person in our life, "and we will always be there for him.
"We make sure every day that he's loved. "I mentioned in the previous post. "that his birthday was in a month. "On that day we got him a birthday cake and some presents. "We celebrated with him. "It was wonderful. "I know I probably talked too much about him, "but I feel so bad that everything. "that happened to him came from him protecting us. "I can't stop feeling guilty. "or that I at least should have interfered way earlier. "He assured me it's not my fault and I know that, "but it's hard to describe. "Imagine you're about to walk across the street. "and a car's about to hit you. "because you didn't look both ways,
"but someone pushes you aside to save you, "getting hit themselves. "Now this person is permanently injured, "and you can't stop feeling guilty. "because you know the person probably would've been okay. "if you had just paid attention earlier. "That's how I feel. "All I know is that I will be there for him. "That's the least I can do.". - Yeah, and that's all you can do. And I also, I think the metaphor there is tough. because you didn't step into that road willingly. and without thought. - [Shayne] I agree with that. - Yeah, it's very natural for one to blame-.
- You were young. - You were young, you're a kid. No kid should have to worry about that. No kid. So I think there's definitely a cycle of blame that happens. And the cool thing about that update I feel is just. that they are currently working on it. They're currently getting the help. And I think the fact. that like those defenses are coming down. and that he's able to talk about it is all one can ask for. at this time.
And I think it is gonna be a long process. - Yeah, 'cause, you know, where the longstanding issues. can come up is if you keep bottling it up. But he can't and he is accepting the possibility, or is he in therapy? I forget if they, but it just sounds like this is, he's in therapy, yes. They are doing the best possible things they can do. to move forward. - Wow. - Sibling shit makes me cry. - Yeah.
And, you know, look, bringing up all these other Reddit stories we always read, we often read about siblings who are not there. for each other. - [Thomas] Right. - And that happens a surprising amount. And these are siblings who really all stuck together, and it's so cool. - Yeah, so sweet. - I have one younger and then I have two siblings older. The oldest one is 10 years older than me, eight years. And I feel like my parents are always very stressing. as like, "Hey, we're not gonna be around forever, "and at that point all you guys are gonna have.
"is each other.". So like we really stress for that relationship. to be founded, so... - All right, here we go. - Okay. - This comes from Relationship Advice. - Giddy up. - Oh. I'll see what I can do. - [Shayne] Yeah. (everyone laughs). I'll try to help you. "So my girlfriend, a 24-year-old woman, "just confessed to me, a 26-year-old man, "that she's always faked orgasms. "How can I support her better?".
How can I help her through this trying time? (everyone laughs). - Is that the whole question? - No, let's see. - Oh, okay. I was like wholesome. (everyone laughs). - Great. All right. "Today my girlfriend of six years came up to me. "and politely confessed something. "that shook me up quite a bit.". - Ooh. - "She mentioned that she's never experienced an orgasm. "during penetrative sex, "although clitoral stimulation does the trick for her. "We've lived together for the entirety of our relationship.
"and had a pretty active and open sex life, "experimented and tried new things every now and then, "and I believed that we've always been open and honest. "with communication in bed. "She would always mention that she's close to orgasm. "during penetrative sex. "and finished with an appearance of satisfaction/relief. "I think it hurt quite a bit when I found out. "that she had been lying about it. "and never quite felt comfortable sharing this with me. "Because frankly, the fact that she can't have orgasms. "during penetration is not even close. "to a deal breaker for me. "I know that a lot of women experience clitoral orgasms.
"more commonly than penetrative ones. "And in hindsight I would've been more attentive. "to what she enjoys and focused on that. "instead of what can't happen. "What bothers me is that it took six years. "to talk to me about this. "I know that she's had a rough history. "with abusive relationships in the past. "and probably felt a lot of shame. "that prevented her from talking about it. "But I feel like my trust in her. "has been affected quite a bit. "We've also spoken about both of us. "getting individual therapy. "to work through some of our respective past experiences, "but neither of us have ever taken the first step. "to actually getting help.
"I guess what I'm really looking for is advice. "on how to better support her and myself. "to process all of this. "because I don't feel prepared at all at the moment.". Wow, that was a lot of words. I've said all those words on this show, but never that much. (everyone laughs). - Oh, really? - Yeah, no, we cover these types of stories all the time. It was like, okay, this sentence has clitoral orgasm, the next one has penetrative orgasm. - Yeah. - The next one has clitoral orgasm again. Here we go. - Hell yeah.
Let's talk about it. - I think, you know what? This actually kind of reminds me of that story from earlier. where it's like, I think a lot of guys' reaction to this. would be like, "Oh shit, she doesn't like me.". It's like, no man, she's telling you something so like... Vulnerable. That she clearly, if she didn't wanna be with you, she would never tell you that. - Right. - You know, I think it's actually a good thing. - Yeah. - It is a good thing. I personally feel like, I can understand the confusion.
or the frustration that somebody didn't tell you that. for six years, sure. But I do think that it's born less out of the trust. that you have in the other person. and more out of your own personal insecurity. that you are broken in some way. - Yeah. - That you're not able to fulfill that person. or that you were going to hurt that person's feelings. - Yeah. - That's why I think this person didn't tell the person. who's writing, and I love that they did eventually get around. to this communication.
And I think the bottom line to this is that no one is broken. for not being able to achieve, you know, penetrative sex, you know, orgasm because like honestly. that's more common than people think. Like, everyone's built very differently. - Yes. - So like, and it's just about exactly what OP's saying, how can I make this exactly what you are looking for? - Yeah. - 'Cause I'm sure she'd be surprised she's far from alone. in that situation. - [Angela] Yes. - We just don't talk, hey America, we don't talk about it.
We don't talk about sex education enough. - No, especially for the women. - Especially for the women, yes. - We don't. - [Shayne] It's true. - And then if people really got their, like just knew about the different ways. and normalized sex in different ways, people would be able to communicate about this so much more. So I'm glad that they are talking about it. - And I think she probably only was quiet about it. because she didn't realize she could probably speak about it.
for a while. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I think that's a thing that's being like, that she's probably coming into on her own. So like her, like I hope he, we don't know how that conversation went down, but like I imagine that she wasn't hiding it from him. because she wanted to hide something from him. Imagine she was hiding it from him. 'cause she didn't know that she could speak up about it. because she didn't really feel confident enough. to talk about it. - Yeah. Oh, and also I forgot about this. She had a history of abusive relationships.
- Yeah. - That was said? - Yeah, so that was mentioned. So like-. - And the Barbie movie just came out. (everyone laughs). - Yeah, there definitely might've been that. affecting her ability to feel like, "I don't want to mess this up. "I don't know if I can.". - Well, it's also tough when it's any sort of topic. that you think is gonna hurt your partner, right? There is an update. - Oh. - So let's see here. "My partner and I had a long chat. "I tried my best to reassure her.
"that she's an absolute soldier. "for getting through the guilt and opening up, "and I tried my best to make sure she felt safe. "and understood. "She spoke to me about how she enjoys sex. "and gets clitoral orgasms, but a lot of her attention. "was on making sure she was following templates. "that she thought was the best for me, "just because she felt like it was the best way. "to keep things working and happy. "I clarified why I was hurt. "and let her know that my intention was always. "to be more involved, collaborate, "and have the most fun we possibly could together.
"I reassured her that I've always been down. "for experimenting with toys and sensate foreplay. "We were both quite emotional. "and teary-eyed through the entire chat. "I could tell that this lie weighed pretty heavily on her, "and I saw a sense of relief in my gal. "that I haven't for a while. "I feel like I owe you guys for all of your support. "Some of you even reached out on DMs. "and helped me understand where she was coming from. "I never expected the Reddit community to be this wholesome. "when I posted. "And I wanna thank y'all for helping us take one giant leap. "towards honest and effective communication. "and a healthy and happy sex life.".
Then a little heart emoji. - Wow. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Wow. - Once again, man, communication. - Communication is so key to every bit of this. And good on them. I love them working out a system and just talking about it. That's all one can do. - And good communication involving good listening. - Yeah. - You know, I really think for anyone watching this, like if you have something. that you're holding back of this nature,
especially anything, you know, that you're sexually uncomfortable with, I think it is, and you're in a relationship, it's so important to communicate it honestly. And, frankly, if your partner doesn't like respond. or reciprocate that communication, I'm like, then you know that that relationship does not work for you. That person, you deserve better than. But most of the time with these, we're seeing that it always ends in a great way.
It will be freeing for you to communicate it. almost regardless of your partner's response. because it's the truth. It is the truth. - [Thomas] Yeah. - You cannot deny it. It's reality. So you might as well acknowledge it. - Agreed. If they don't respond to it positively, then you move on to somebody who will take it positively. - [Shayne] Exactly. - No, totally. - Here is our, here's our last story. - Last one. - "Am I the asshole for using my wife's $400 hairdryer.
"on my nards?". Nice. Hell yeah. (Thomas laughs). - Okay. - "What's up, Reddit?". - Oh. (everyone laughs). Oh my god. - What's up, gamers? - Out the gate. - First of all, nards and what's up, Reddit. So I've got a visual. - I think Mr. Beast wrote this. (Thomas laughs). Okay. "What's up, Reddit? "35 male here. "My wife, a 32-year-old woman,
"bought herself this awesome hairdryer. "from Dyson last month.". - Dyson. I knew it was a Dyson. (Thomas laughs). - "And she paid over $400 for it. "This is easily the coolest hairdryer I've ever seen.". - This is easily the coolest hair, sorry. (everyone laughs). - It's so YouTuber speak. I don't know. "It's silver and purple and has this really cool design. "Reminds me of the plasma rifle from Halo. "Super quiet as well. "You can dry your hair in stealth mode. "I was so impressed by this dryer that I asked my wife. "if I could use it too. "She said I could use it whenever I wanted.
"and it was good that I use it. "to better get our money's worth. "I started using it every morning after my shower. "to dry my hair instead of just towel. "and air drying like I used to. "I have short hair so it only took like a minute to dry. "Still felt like I wasn't getting much use out of it. "So I started experimenting. "I tried drying my armpits. "Makes applying deodorant much nicer. "And I started drying down below. "Side note, 100% do recommend. "Without going into much detail, "it just feels a lot more hygienic throughout the day. "This morning my wife walked into the bathroom.
"after my shower. "and saw something perhaps she wasn't meant to see. "For the record, I did not intend for her to come in, "but I didn't have the door locked. "I had one foot on the floor, one foot on the counter, "hairdryer in hand pointed towards Venus and Earth. "My wife had a bit of a freak out and was like, "'What are you doing?'. "I stopped and reminded her. "that she said I could use the dryer whenever I wanted. "She countered, she didn't say I could use it that way. "So I'm not sure if my wife has a point here.
"I definitely did not explicitly state. "how I was going to use the dryer, "but there was no conversation of limitations beforehand. "Am I the asshole?". - I love this so freaking much. - [Shayne] Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Thank you so much. - We gotta get this guy on the channel. - I was gonna say, this guy feels like classic sitcom himbo dude. - It felt like, what I saw is 'cause he said he stopped her, so it felt like he went, "Wait. "You said.". (everyone laughs).
- You said. No, he continues. - Wait, you said. - He's still blow drying. He's like, "You said I could do this.". - You said I could. - No, he stopped freeze frame. He turned that off, like he just got caught. No, this guy, first of all, it's like the truest form of just, he's like a toddler experimenting with a new toy, just like figuring out how it works and like realizing like, oh, like different forms of hygiene. that he didn't realize like could be done. - He's learning. - It felt less like he liked to dry these areas off.
and more like it was just so cool. - Yeah. - Like, the way it looked. - It was so cool, which I love. I was like, that's so pure. That's such a pure thing for somebody to just be into. And he was like, so about the Halo hairdryer. And I mean, I don't know. He's not applying the hairs, I'm hoping. He's still learning. But like I'm hoping he's not putting it on his nards. because then, you know, burn up the babies. - Yeah. (laughs). - [Thomas] Don't do that. Don't do that. - Burn up the babies.
- And also hygienic in terms of like her, like obviously. - You don't wanna cause too much global warming on Earth. - Correct. - So someone said, "Whoa, I'm not the only one.". (Thomas laughs). Someone else said, "Yeah, sorry you're the asshole. "First off, it's your wife's property, she bought it. "It's expensive. "She has every single right to stipulate how you use it. "I mean, I may not wanna use something. "that's been inches away from a butt hole/ball sack.". Fair. - Fair. - [Shayne] Fair. - I would definitely, that was the other point. I would be like communication once again. - Communication.
- Ask for consent. - Learn from these others. - Communication. - Maybe she'd be okay. Or maybe she'd be like, "Let's get your own Halo hairdryer.". - "Info, which hairdryer was it? "Is it a normal blowing hairdryer. "or does it touch your body? "I ask because I have a hairdryer brush. "that actually touches my hair. "and would not want someone's pubes in it.". Someone else said, "See, this is my question. "But my Dyson Supersonic has attachments, "and I would strangle my partner. "if he was diffusing his balls with my $400 dryer.". - Diffusing. - Someone said, "LMAO, diffusing his balls.".
(everyone laughs). "Not the asshole. "As generally reluctant as I am to assign behaviors. "based on gender, this is a total guy thing. "I say that because I found out my husband. "was doing the same dang thing with my high-end hairdryer. "Head, pit, nards. "I started to go into orbit over it, "but then I realized that when I said, 'Sure, go ahead,'. "he of course assumed that it meant for all kinds of hair. "And OP, he said the same thing. "about it feeling more hygienic. "And honestly it's not like using it.
"for body hair contaminates it. "So I gave it a try myself. "Without going into detail, I'm groomed but not bare. "And, you know, he was right. "It is much nicer. "Highly recommend it. "You were not the asshole. "And I encourage your wife to give it a try as well.". Edit, "After reading replies to this, "it's become clear it's not a total guy thing, "and many women besides me do this. "Learn something new every day, LOL.". Wow, a whole community. - Yeah, I mean... You have something to say. (everyone laughs). - You're sitting here like...
- I'm just like... (laughs). - Was something about that-. - I just, I... I just don't understand. I don't understand. I don't understand what is more hygienic about it. Like, what? - Oh yeah. - I think it's just... Imagine it's just nice. It's just probably nice. - No, I understand that maybe it's nice. in the way a bidet feels nice. - I think he's saying it feels, it's not, I don't think it's science of it. - It's less swampy down there, you know? - That I get because you're just like cleaning it.
- And as an alternative, I might recommend. if you can't spend, you know, $3,400 on a hairdryer, baby powder. Baby powder's a good one down there as-. - [Angela] Oh great. - From "Spider-Verse" said. And yeah, or just like a cheaper hairdryer for yourself. - Or just a cheaper hairdryer. Yeah, I feel like a cheap hairdryer, maybe not a Dyson. for your balls. - Might I recommend-. - Or hike up to the top of a mountain. where a nice mountain breeze is happening. and just strip down. (everyone laughs). - Why do you think the Scots had kilts?
- Yeah, exactly. - No, but I, and I do, it's so funny. It feels very like, 'cause I mean, again, I feel like they don't cover this in home ec. nor do they have home ec in America anymore. How to like properly-. - [Angela] Yeah, yeah. - The hygienic taking care of oneself. And a lot of dudes, but probably a lot of women too. just experiment and being like, "You know what, this feels better.". You know, when I'm on the go man. and you're needing a quick dry, you know? Why not? But again, communication, use of property.
Totally agree. I get that. - Yeah. He needs to have the same conversation. I mean, she knows. But I was gonna say, I'm imagining like the same weight. as some of these earlier stories, but just like, "Hey, I have something to talk to you about. "I use a Dyson hairdryer to blow my balls.". (everyone laughs). - In this situation, he was right here and he goes, "Look, babe, we're communicating.". (everyone laughs). - Come on. - I have two questions for you. Number one, did you call me a silly goose? Number two, can I use your Dyson to dry off my balls?
(everyone laughs). - It's the same guy. - The verdict of that, not the asshole. - I mean it was definitely not the asshole. It was the nards. - Yeah, yeah. He didn't state that he was drying his asshole. - There you go. - Once again, wholesome. because compared to most stories we read, most are like, "My boyfriend hasn't cleaned his balls in five years. "Am I the asshole for asking?". - No, it's more like, "My boyfriend hasn't cleaned his balls for five years, "but he says I smell like shit.". - That actually is one. That was one that we read. - What?
- He keeps telling me I smell like shit, and he keeps gaslighting me every night before bed. - That's the typical. - So these people who are rating this are like, "Well, at least he's taking care of himself.". (everyone laughs). Maybe with your property-. - No one's gonna really verdict this as the asshole. 'cause everyone's like, "This guy's great.". - No, but it's so cute how he described it. It's just like it's purple and it's silver and it's like-. - You could tell any story, but if you start it with, "What's up, Reddit?". I'm probably gonna say you're awesome. (laughs). - I know. I either have a blast hanging out with this guy.
or I hate this guy, but he's a good time, I guess. - Nards. That's a very Midwest way to-. - I know. - My nards. - This guy's in Ohio. - I will say, I didn't know what nards was. and I didn't wanna ask. - [Shayne] Really? - They're a fun candy. - I was like the second they start talking, I'll know. - All right, man, what a ride. - That was great. - How do you feel? - I feel just like humanity is so freaking cool, dude. Like, I mean, obviously I've gotten real good picks.
of the litter here for the stories. - [Shayne] Sure. - But how uplifting of just like, just how, just love. - I know, we did gender, sexuality. Balls. - Hygiene. (everyone laughs). - Being raised, nature, nurture. We were all over. - And it was just a really, yeah, cool scope of people. in different situations and how they kind of like, for most of those situations rose above it.
But yeah, wow, I came away feeling really good. - Yeah, I feel really great too. It's cool to know. that all these beautiful, cool things are happening. - Agreed. - Simultaneously, while other things. - Yes. While other things are also happening on Reddit. (everyone laughs). - Well, dude, thank you for being here. - Thank you guys. This was so much fun. - [Shayne] This was great. - I didn't know what to expect, so I really appreciate it. - You're the greatest. - It was great talking with you guys, both of you. - So, Thomas, where can people find you? - Yes, oh, I have a YouTube channel.
It's youtube.com/ThomasSanders. Basically, again, if you wanna see the same stuff. that I normally have, you know, rose through the ranks with, which is like the Vine stuff. I do short videos on Instagram, Thomas Sanders, and TikTok, Thomas Sanders. YouTube is kind of like extended stuff. like the Vine content. And then also we have like a Dungeons and Dragons series. on our channel as well, which is, you know, the classic D&D, but we also work with artists that bring the scenes to life,
and we also live recreate some of the scenes ourselves. and beautiful sound designs. So like if you wanna check out another D&D series. that's beautifully told, go check it out. It's called "Roleslaying with Roman.". - You are truly everywhere. - We try. We try. (everyone laughs). - So cool. Well, thank you guys, and thank you guys for watching. I hope you enjoyed this. Hey, tell someone you love them, you know? Spread this joy, spread this joy. And comment down below what other types of themes.
and subreddits you want us to cover. And we'll see you next time. Goodbye. - Bye! I love you.
