We're Judging You w/ Amber Singletary | Reading Reddit Stories
- Hello, welcome to "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.". I'm Shayne and today's theme is wild. Some wild stories. And I'm joined by a wild guest. Please welcome Amber Singletary. - Hello. (crew cheers). - And also joining us is Ian. (crew cheers). Amber, you are a standup comedian, you're a writer, and you host a series called "Judgy.". - I do. - Where you talk to people on the streets. about their wild stories and you judge them. - Yes.
- And you actually judged Ian. - Yes. - So a little backstory here, you ran into Ian on the streets, and you were talking to him about a story where a guy was... What was the story again? - Here we go. - Okay. So-. - Is this okay? Is this okay if we bring this up? - No, this is perfect. - A guy was hitting on/accosting one of our-. - Just say hitting on. - Okay, so he was hitting on, he was hitting on one of our coworkers. - Okay. - At a bar. And he kind of wouldn't stop. And I heard him say that he was-.
- 5'11". - He was 5'11". Yeah. And I-. - I watched it. - Okay, good. And I looked at him and I said, "No, you're not.". (everyone laughs). "You're 5'8".". And he's like, "What? No, I'm not.". I'm like, "Yeah, we're the same height. "I'm 5'8".". And he's like, "No, no, no, you're higher, you're higher.". And then so finally... (Shayne laughs). Finally I said, "Okay, let's see the ID.". And so he pulled out his driver's license. And that shit said 5'8". - Wow.
- And she said that-. - That you should have pulled the guy aside. - In the heat of the moment... Judges don't hear stories twice. Okay? So we can't always-. - [Shayne] Right, right. - Hear the facts. Hindsight is 20-20. Leave me alone. (everyone laughs). - You did apologize and say that I deserved a retrial. - I did say that. But please nobody else. This is the only retrial allowed in history. - Only retrial you're doing. - Yes. - How long have you been doing this series? - So about since February of last year. - Cool. - And it's just, it's so fun.
I love doing it. I love judging people. It's the best. (everyone laughs). It's the best. - Do you have off the cuff, like, one of the wildest stories you ever heard? Is there like just-. - So there was one where we had to basically stop the person. in the middle and be like, "Hey, so this is a crime, "and it sounds like you're stalking this person.". So we did have to... There have been a couple guests that I had to be like, "Hey, so this is an actual crime.". - So you're like actually guilty. - Yeah, like she was-. - Yeah. - She like was like, "Yeah, I was dating this guy,
"and then the dating turned into I'm his neighbor, "and then that turned into I'm leaving notes under his door, "and then it turned into I'm showing up to his job,". and I go, "Hey, so I am actually not trained. "on actual criminals, so you actually have to leave.". - This is above my pay grade. Yeah. - I was like, "Mm, please don't finish this story.". And also- - Oh my god. - And then she goes, "Yeah, and then after his second restraining order,". and I go, "Okay, and now, and now-". - Now we're moving on. - And she was innocent. I'm just kidding. (everyone laughs). - But you're guilty.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, fantastic. Well, hey, we're gonna be reading a bunch. of Am I The Asshole stories, so the purpose is to judge these people kind of. - I can't wait. - This is your ballpark. - And you're familiar with Reddit? - Yes. - [Shayne] Okay. - Maybe too much. - Yeah. Yeah. It's a slippery slope. - I just, I like to get into the minds of things. that I have never before seen, and that's Reddit is that kind of place. - Absolutely. - There's an orca subreddit. There's one for dolphins. People that want to learn dolphin language.
I'm in that one. - Oh, how's that going? - What's the dolphin word for-. (Amber makes dolphin sounds). Okay. - Wow. - Pretty good. Pretty good. - Very controversial of you to say. - You think? Oh, maybe it was the accent. Yeah, maybe bleep it out. Maybe bleep it out. Sorry. Sorry to all the dolphins watching at home. - We have a huge dolphin fanbase. (everyone laughs). All right. Let's hop into these stories. Our first story comes from Am I The Asshole. It was posted in 2026, this month. "Am I the asshole for withholding concert tickets. "from friends after they ditched me?".
Okay. "I have two very close friends, Lily and Kate, fake names, "I made during university. "Lily and Kate are very conventionally attractive. "Important detail for later. "I, however, am not.". (Amber laughs). "I'm hygienic, groom myself well, "have tried all the conventional tips for appearance, "however, I have a very large nose, wide boxy jaw, "which make me not conventionally attractive.". (Amber laughs). Damn. Self-roasts. - I mean, I like a wide boxy jaw. - I like a wide boxy jaw.
- Yeah. - "We graduated university this year. "and decided to celebrate with a Miami trip. "I bought us all concert tickets for tonight. "since Lily used some of her hotel points. "to get us a large suite to stay in. "Kate picked out a club she wanted to go for Friday night. "I know Miami has a reputation for being picky. "about what girls they let into clubs. "I did my makeup and hair as best as I could, "wore one of the prettiest and fanciest dresses I own. "However, when we got to the bouncer, "he only let in Lily and Kate, but not me.".
- Oh God. - "Lily hesitated and tried to convince him to let me in too. "but he didn't budge. "Eventually, both shot me a grimace. "and said they wouldn't be too long at the club.". - Oh! - "I felt so humiliated walking away. "I've been feeling really down since. "and am frankly offended by their behavior ditching me. "I don't want to go to the concert tonight. "And after they pushed me on it, "I told them I wasn't going to give them the tickets. "I bought for them either. "Kate is now pretty mad at me, "and Lily has said she's disappointed with my decision.
"Am I the asshole?". - Whoa. - Okay. So she's basically now saying, "We're not going to this concert. "Like, I don't want to hang out with you.". And they're going, "Oh, well at least give us our tickets.". - They're like, "Let me go.". - Yeah. That has got to be one of the most, like, heartbreaking situations to deal with. - Humbling. - Oh my god. - [Ian] Yikes. - Also just like shitty, man. I don't go to clubs. But I've heard about this before. - You've heard the lore. - I've heard the lore.
- You've never been let in. - Yeah, I've never, yeah. Yeah, they're always at capacity when I show up. so I don't get to go in. So it's like, it must be like, you know. - It must be filled. Yeah. - Yeah, but so I don't know. I can't relate to her, but... But if you're in that situation. where one of your friends isn't being let in, you stick with your friend. - Yeah. - Yeah. I mean, I've only been in Miami for like one night, but there are multiple clubs in Miami, I'm pretty sure. So if one isn't letting all of your friends in, just go down the street. - Yeah.
Yeah. - Go somewhere else. But see, but what if they tell her she's ugly again? Now you got two clubs that told you ugly in one night. Two clubs one night. That's not a good thing. - No, it's not good for your self-esteem. - I feel so bad 'cause OP is starting this off, like 'cause this is after this has happened. So OP's starting off like, "Look, I'm not conventionally attractive.". Like, they're clearly in their head about like-. - I mean, they are, no, the bouncers, I've seen this situation happen, and the bouncer will simply be like, like if there's six girls, the bouncer truly might be like,
"Okay, you four.". Like, I've seen it happen. I always left with my friends. Shout out to my ugly friends. I always will be with you. (everyone laughs). - So the verdict here from Reddit is not the asshole. That she's not the asshole for saying, "No, we're not going to the concert.". They left her on the street alone. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, the thought is like, "Well, you're ugly, so just walk home, I guess.". - It's like they're just not her friends. - No, they're not friends. - That's not friend behavior. So it's like, I don't want to go to a concert.
with people who just betrayed me. - Yeah. Friend got the hotel. - Friend got the hotel. - Okay, so the concert was her contribution to the trip. - The concert was her contribution, 'cause friend Lily used some of her hotel points. to get us a large suite to stay in. So Lily, one of her friends, got the suite. Kate picked out a club, so I don't-. - Kate needs to bring more to the situation. - I don't know what Kate brought to the situation. - Kate is mooching. - Kate, step it up. - Yeah. - But she bought the tickets as a contribution. But it's like, man-. - You can't leave...
Yeah, don't leave a young woman on the streets of Miami. - Please. It's like the number one thing they tell you. - When you enter Miami, by the way- - She's better than me. I would've let them go to the concert and told them, "Oh, I only have one ticket. "Doesn't it feel bad to be left outside?". - Yeah. - Yikes. - Yeah, verdict is not the asshole. Comments. "Just tell them you won't be too long at the concert.". - Yeah. - 8,000 up votes on that. - I'm with that one. - Nailed that. - What does that even mean? Like, what is she supposed to do.
while they're in there clubbing? - They're literally like, "We won't-". - Go eat bread or something. I don't know. (crew laughs). - Someone said, "Not the asshole. "They aren't your friends. "Not only was it super rude to go into the club without you, "it was dangerous as hell. "for you to walk down the street alone. "There are so many stories of people wandering alone. "and they just disappear.". - Yeah. - Someone said, "So it's okay for them to leave you out to do something fun, "but it's not okay for you to leave them out. "from doing something fun? "See the double standards there? "Unfortunately, these two are not your friends.
"because true friends would've said let's go someplace else. "since they won't let you into this club. "True friends wouldn't have left you alone in a big city. "I think it's time to find new friends. "who appreciate you for who you are. "Also, sell those tickets. "and do something nice for yourself.". - Exactly. - [Shayne] Yeah. - Go to Applebee's. They don't treat people like that at Applebee's. - Yeah. They invite all the uggos. - They let everybody in. So... I mean, I've been in a friend group where that happened, and it was like a very much like, "Hey, you guys can come in. "This person can't come in.". And we were just kind of like, "All right, it's six of us.
"Three in, three out. "Cool.". - Okay. So you divide-. - So we divided. Like, it was like, okay, it was somebody's birthday. and they really wanted to go to this club. And then the other three of us were like, "Well, I really don't care about this. "Let's just go somewhere else.". - Okay. I guess that's-. - I mean, it's safe. - Having larger numbers allows you to do that. - Well yeah, 'cause you also need to be. on watch of this person. 'cause they were just told they were ugly publicly. It's not like they're not... There's a line of people watching them not get in. - That is devastating. - So you're just like (groans). - That is truly devastating. Lastly, someone said, "Not the asshole.
"Lily and Kate are both assholes, "but Kate is the biggest asshole out of the two. "See, you paid for the tickets. "Lily obtained the hotel suite. "What did Kate contribute. "aside from intentionally picking a place. "you couldn't get into?". - Pretty privilege. - "Lily tried weakly to get you in. "even though she still gets the title of asshole. "for not leaving with you. "Where was Kate in all of that? "And now she's the one who's angriest?". OP responded saying, "Kate really hasn't really done much pitching in. "She paid once we got smoothies together, "but the total was like $28.
"compared to the expense of the hotel. "and the concert tickets.". Yeah, Kate sucks. - Kate was so happy when they didn't get into the concert. She was like, "Finally, they can ignore the fact. "that I'm not paying for anything.". (everyone laughs). Flying under the radar. - Yeah. Yeah. It all worked out for Kate. - They need to kick Kate out. - Yeah. Oh, Kate needs to get out of there. - She gotta go. - Kate's ugly inside. - She has to go. - Get rid of her. - We have an internal club. where we let people in based on their heart and their aura. - Yeah. That would be a crazy bouncer.
- It would. (laughs). - A bouncer who can like, can see into your mind. - Just like a lady from Bushwick, like, "Not good vibes.". - No, no, no. You must leave. You're evil. - You must leave. She's a troll. You must leave. (Shayne laughs). You shall not pass. Okay. - Oh, that'd be incredible. This episode of "Reddit Stories" is sponsored by Zocdoc. If you're like me, life is constantly keeping you busy. I have a litany of appointments and errands to run. It can feel very consuming. when attempting to balance my friends, family, career, and me time.
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That's zocdoc.com/pitreddit. (bright music). Now back to the show. Okay, so our next story comes from Am I Overreacting. "Am I overreacting for breaking up with my girlfriend. "over a toilet plunger prank?". Pranks. - Well, prank-. - Pranks on Reddit never go well. - And a toilet prank. (groans). - Do you like pranks? - Which side of the prank am I on? - [Ian] You like pranks. - Getting pranked. - So I do like a well-executed prank.
Like, I think there are definitely moments. where it can be done well. I hate an unfunny prank where I'm just like, okay, so I'm just wet and it's 10:00 AM. This sucks. - Is there a prank you've ever pulled that you're proud of? - I should not say. - Okay. - [Ian] Okay. - But when I was in high school, there may have been a prank in the class of 2025. in which I graduated high school from, and the law was called and it doesn't matter, but let's go, let's move on. - Okay. Okay. - I had a friend in my high school, he chopped down a tree at our school.
- And that's a prank? - As a senior prank. - Was he George Washington? (Amber laughs). - But he did use an ax, and it took him hours. And I think it partially fell on the library. And I think his family had to pay for it. - Yeah, that makes sense. - And he wasn't allowed to walk. - Oh, I just stole all the chairs. I didn't cut down the trees. We just stole and threw away all the chairs in the school. - Yeah, and somebody drove the golf cart, the hall monitor's golf cart into the pool. - That's-. - The hall monitor had a golf cart? - My year, there was just like, everyone was like,
"Senior prank, let's just destroy property.". - Y'all want to just shoot the chalkboards? It's like, okay. - Yeah, it's not a prank. I rarely hear pranks that are pranks. And I, at this point, don't know what a prank is. - Yeah, I'm like, "It sounds like assault, but okay.". - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - "Am I overreacting for breaking up with my girlfriend. "over a toilet plunger prank? "Okay, this just happened two hours ago, "and I'm still fuming. "Apparently on TikTok, "the toilet plunger prank has been trending. "It's where you ask your partner for help. "with a clogged toilet and instead you actually put Nutella,
"water, and fart spray on a plunger. "and fling it on your partner. "My girlfriend decided to do that prank on me, "and normally I can take a joke. "After she flung the toilet plunger contents on me, "including in my mouth, I obviously died and went to hell, "but she showed me the video she was making and I was like, "'Okay, it's just a prank. "'Fine, whatever.'. "But then-". - She posted it. - "I asked her if she bought a new toilet plunger.
"to do this prank or if she at least washed it. "But no, she took the regular (beep) toilet plunger we had. "to do this prank. "Y'all, I'm so (beep) mad right now. "She told me she's so sorry and everything. "She forgot to buy a new toilet plunger for the prank. "But what the (beep)? "That means I actually got (beep) feces in my (beep) mouth. "I'm so unbelievably angry. "I told her I'm done with her, and now she's pissed at me? "Am I overreacting?
"We live together, "so it's not gonna be easy to just break up. "Plus telling all our friends and family we broke up. "because of a toilet plunger prank feels so childish, "but I feel so disrespected.". - Ooh. (Shayne groans). - [Shayne] Okay. - All right. - I have a few thoughts. But no, do you guys? - I mean, I just think like, I think if your partner's doing TikTok pranks, just break up with them. It doesn't matter what the prank-. (Amber laughs).
It doesn't matter what the prank is. I think every viral TikTok prank-. - Is horrible. - Is the dumbest shit ever. And they're never funny. And they're always just kind of mean-spirited. And I think that shows what kind of taste your partner has, and that taste is trash. - Yeah. - It's trash. - Yeah, anyone who's filming you without your like consent, like just filming you on the spot and then posting it, especially in like situations like that.
Like, that's who you're dating. Also, this is gonna be definitely. like a little hypocritical. - You make your partner-. - Hypocritical? Have you done this? - No, no, no. People doing, and I'm like, are you getting paid to do this? Like, you're just putting this online just for free. Are you getting money for this? Like, 'cause a lot of the influencers. you see doing this shit it's all fake. - Yes. - They're both in on it. They both know. - The couple talk like, "All right, so I'm gonna walk in, "then you're gonna do this, and I'm gonna freak out, "whatever." - it's a whole production. - And they get brand deals and shit out of that. - Yeah, that's exactly the case.
because like this is why when people copy it on TikTok, they don't realize that they're fake. - Yeah. - The other ones are fake. So they're just morons. - And they're just like actually dumb people. - And it's like, okay, so you want all of TikTok. to like laugh at your partner? You want your partner to look like an idiot? - What is the goal here? - Embarrassing your partner. - Happens a lot, man. And that's what's scary about TikTok. is like anybody can go viral at any moment. And like you kind of don't know if you want that.
- Also, I'm crying laughing. at him typing this obviously infuriated. - He's so mad. - He still got the Nutella on the side of his face. - I can't believe it. And the fart spray is horrible. - Fart spray is-. - It smells so bad. - You might as well shit on the plunger. - I think that maybe she should be in jail. - So you would deem her guilty? - I think she needs to be like held in a corner like timeout. and then broken up with. Because also it's like, when does it stop, right? Like, are you gonna escalate this?
- What if it does numbers? - What if it doesn't? - What if it does numbers? What if they blow up? What if they start getting brand deals? - The way if I get pranked- - She's like, "Babe, I need to do another plunger prank.". - But if they can work on it together... - That's true and he gets a cut. - There's no reason why she couldn't have been like, "Hey, I really like this trend. "Can we do this? ". - Yeah. - I guess maybe he's not a good actor. - Then it's not a prank, but whatever. But she was filming this planning to post it. - I hate it. - And that's so embarrassing for him. - And the mouth thing. - And that's even if she was doing it properly. I was gonna say though, with the plunger, he's talking about like there's actual feces on it.
I'm like, if I use a plunger, like I'm making sure that I'm-. - I'm not leaving dookie on it. - I'm not leaving the dookie on there. - You make sure that is clean afterward. Like, I'm not cleaning-. - And I'm using it in water of the toilet, so it shouldn't be too much. - You flush, you fix everything, and then you're like really soaking it off and everything. - Are they doing dry plunger poop? - I don't know what they're doing. - It also depends on if you have the proper plunger. 'cause there's a lot of people that use, they use the wrong plunger. - Finally, what we need to be talking about. - [Shayne] Exactly. - Like, there's a lot of people out here. using the wrong plunger. - Yeah, because they just use that one that's just like this.
and-. - That's for the sink. - Yeah, it's for the sink. The toilet one, it has like a little like flange. - Yeah. - It goes like this. - The ones that are down. - Yeah. - Wait, so the other ones are for the sink? - Yeah, the other one. - The ones that are just the dome, just for sink. - [Shayne] Just for sink. - One for toilet- - Really? - Yeah. One for toilet has that-. - The uncircumcised plunger is for the toilet. - Yes! Yes, that's a perfect way of explaining it. Yes! Oh my god! That's so true. The uncircumcised plunger is for the toilet.
- Do we all know this? - You got two very specific types of dudes. - Oh, okay, okay. Are y'all married to women? (Shayne laughs). Yeah, yeah. Men don't know stuff like that. unless there's a woman in the house. - So uncircumcised is... (everyone laughs). - Jesus. Ian's gonna take it to the next level. - Did he say whether it was the uncircumcised or regular? - No, they did not-. - Not regular. Everybody's welcome. - Not the specifics on the... Not the specifics on the plunger.
- 'Cause if it's the uncircumcised one, I would be... 'Cause you don't quite know. if there could be a little bit of dookie on the inside. - Oh, you're saying like a vacuum maneuver up. - You can't like see into it totally. - It's designed to go over a sink, like a flat surface. - But I mean, it might get caught in the cliff. if it's the sink one. Get caught in the cliff of it. - But like given this like woman's judgment on the prank, she probably is using a sink plunger on the toilet. - Okay, there's a lot,
there's a lot more to talk about with this one. You know what it reminds me of though is, have you seen like women will post something. of their boyfriends or their husbands? Like, "Ugh, my boyfriend did this annoying thing,". whatever, and they post it. Then it goes online, it goes viral. Everyone's like, "Your boyfriend sucks. "You should break up with them.". And then they always post the follow-up where they're like, "Guys, okay, everyone's telling me. "to break up my boyfriend. "He's actually really sweet. "I know I posted this thing. "where he's doing this really awful thing, but like-". - But like he's a human being. - Before you post something online, be ready for online. - Because online is a serious place.
- Yeah, unless it's private, it's just your friends, it's gonna be seen by potentially millions. - Just send it to your group chat. Like, literally just do the back in the day like, "He's getting on my nerves," and just move on. Like, why? - But it's such a boundary like crossing. Like, you're in that type of relationship. where that person does not respect you. - That's not the only thing she's done. - Yeah. - This sounds like the straw. - If he's ready to break up over this, then I have a hard time believing-. - Also, I'm wondering like when people plan a prank, right, like do you look at the state of the day.
that your partner had? Because like we all have had a day where you're like, "I can't take one more thing today.". And then you get fake poop on your mouth? - I don't really like any prank. that like physically affects a person. - No. No. - Like, them getting wet, them getting messy or anything. Like, the only pranks that I think are funny, and I think someone has said, it's like the point of a prank is to confuse, not to abuse. And like that's like, it's just like you're supposed to kind of like be like, "Wait, what's going on?". And then it's like, "Psych, this is what's going on.". - Yeah, then Ashton Kutcher comes out. - I thought something else was going on. - I blew up your car.
- Yeah. I stabbed you. - Thanks, Ashton. I thought that it was a joke. - Yeah. The verdict is not overreacting. Comments. Top one says, "I hate pranks.". 8,000 up votes. Someone said, "If a prank relies on making the person you supposedly love. "feel humiliated, stressed, or uncomfortable, "it's not a prank. "It's just cruelty with a laugh track.". Lastly, someone said, "Your girlfriend needs to grow the hell up. "Enough with TikTok challenges. "Not overreacting.". And I don't know if this girlfriend.
is trying to become an influencer, but she just wanted to do this trend. - She wanted a viral video. What happened to whoopee cushions? - They're hilarious. - Like, what about a quick little (makes fart sound). And then like, ha ha ha. - We have one over there, and it makes me laugh all the time. - And that's what I'm saying. That's a good prank. Nobody got hurt. It's just like, oh, people think I farted. That's not that bad. (everyone laughs). - I'm having a dumb thought right now. You do a reverse prank where if you have to fart, you grab a whoopee cushion and be like, "Ha!". And then you like sit on it. - But then it smells. (everyone laughs). - Whoa, this whoopee cushion's really good!
- This whoopee cushion's meta. It actually stinks. - This one's wild. They like made out a new version. All right. (Amber laughs). This episode of "Reddit Stories" is sponsored by Quince. Summer is here, which means I need to be ready for the heat. I need comfortable, breathable, lightweight pieces. that match my style and my budget. That's why I use Quince. Starting at just $34, Quince offers 100% linen pants and shirts. For anyone who has to endure humidity, why aren't you wearing linen all the time? I love their lightweight tees.
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Now available in Canada too. That's quince.com/pitreddit for free shipping. and 365-day returns. Quince.com/pitreddit. Now back to the show. Our next story comes from Am I The Asshole. This was also from May of 2026. - What happened in May? Are y'all okay? - May is going nuts! (crew laughs). "Am I the asshole for expecting my partner. "to honor first come first served with wedding invites?".
Okay. "I've been with my boyfriend for just under a year, "nine months, "and this is the first real fork in the road we've had. "We have been invited to a number of weddings this year. "For some of these weddings, the invites were sent out. "before we officially started dating or shortly after. "In a couple of cases, "the originally invited guest had a plus one, "so it wasn't a problem. "One of these invites for a friend of mine. "was sent out a few months. "after we started seeing each other. "The bride, my friend, was originally reluctant. "to offer a plus one for my partner.
"when I contacted her to ask if it was possible, "but kindly did find some space. "and confirmed that we were both invited to the wedding. "This was at the start of this year. "Last week, my partner's friend. "and his fiancee sent out their invites. "They apparently weren't aware. "that save the dates are expected these days. "and therefore this might have been avoided. "Unfortunately, their wedding day is the same as my friend's. "where we have already RSVP'd yes. "I was caught by surprise when my partner told me. "that he was planning to attend their wedding.
"and said that he was already committed. "to attending the first wedding with me. "These are weddings hundreds of miles apart, "so we couldn't attend both on the same day. "My boyfriend said that he was sure. "that me not being able to attend. "for a very valid reason would be fine, "but he couldn't imagine missing this friend's wedding. "I haven't met them, "but apparently they've been good friends for over a decade, "and he also gets on well with the fiancee too. "He also suggested I attend the first wedding. "either with a friend or my sister.
"or that I get back in touch with the bride. "to explain the situation and rescind the plus one. "To be childish, none of this is fair. "We agreed months ago to attend this wedding, "and frankly, I'd only let it slide. "if we were no longer dating, "which isn't even close to being the case. "We're moving in together in a few weeks. "I told my partner that I expect him to honor his commitment. "to both his agreement and our relationship, "and he said that I was being unreasonable. "and that he would not be changing his decision. "The word asshole wasn't used, but I'd say that unreasonable.
"and his manner was implying that I was one. "It would be good to know an outside view on this.". Okay, so I'm trying to piece this all together a little bit. - This is intense. - So this is a lot of stuff going on. Okay, so basically, OP was invited to one of her friend's weddings. - Okay. - She asked for a plus one for her boyfriend. They get that. So they go, "Okay, we're gonna go to this wedding of, "my friend's wedding.". But later on, her boyfriend gets invited. to a very close friend's wedding of his.
- Yep. - That happens to be on the same day. And he goes, "I have to go to this. "There wasn't a save the date, "but like this is my good friend's wedding.". - Yeah. I can't miss it. - I'm picking this. And she says, "No, you've already agreed to come with me. "to this wedding, so you have to come with me. "to this wedding.". - She like a record company. She like, "No, these are the terms.". - You signed this! - You signed the paper. - Read the fine print. - Literally take someone else. - I get that. So that's what I'm confused about. is like they're making it sound like they have to,
as a couple, go to one of the things. They can't just go, "Oh, I guess we're going to separate weddings.". - Yeah, go to separate weddings. - "He suggested I attend the first wedding. "either with a friend or my sister. "or that I get back in touch with the bride. "to explain the situation and rescind the plus one.". Not rescind her, just him. - Right. - And he wasn't even originally supposed to be going. to that wedding anyway. And so she's just not accepting that. "I told my partner that I expect him to honor his commitment. "to both his agreement and our relationship, "and he said that I was being unreasonable.". I think she is being unreasonable. - Yeah.
- Yeah. That's-. - I'm like, this is one of those cases where I'm like, why would you post this? (Amber laughs). - This was quickly deleted, but our team-. - We move fast over here. - Like, locked in, Jarvis, screenshot. - You got to commit to it, lady. - Yeah. - Okay, so then-. - It's also like I laugh every time when, like you go to these subreddits. for the purpose of being like, "Hey, am I the asshole?". It's anonymous. These people don't know who you are, so like take it. - [Ian] Yeah. - Like, you're getting this advice. You're getting the like-. - She said, "Actually, I don't like these people either.
(everyone laughs). "They don't know what the hell they're talking about. "on here.". - But this is how people get to this degree. is by not listening to anybody. and like just funneling it out. - Yeah, so I mean, I think we all agree, like, yeah, just go to separate weddings. - People do that all the time. - And it'll be more fun. You won't be sitting there like, "When are we getting married?" nine months in. Your friends will have another wedding. Go to that one. It's fine. Just split up. - It's frustrating, right? Like, that's fair. The reality of the situation is still, okay, these two weddings are on the same day.
- It's just two weddings. - And she's saying, "Oh, if they had sent out a save the date, "it might have saved everything.". It's like, no, it wouldn't have. - It would've been the same day. - It still would've been the same, yeah. "And therefore this might've been avoided.". It's like, no, it wouldn't have been avoided. - You know who went through this? Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway. And they solved it like you're supposed to, fight at the altar. So I think you guys ask the wedding parties. if they want to come to the same venue. - Join weddings. - Exactly. - A super wedding. - A super wedding. - Okay. - Super friends. We got extra food. - Okay.
But they're on like separate sides of the country. - Just meet in the middle. Kansas. - Nebraska. - Meet in the middle. - A good old Oklahoma wedding. - Also judging by this person-. - Right next to all the fracking. (everyone laughs). - She used the word commitment. "The commitment to our relationship.". And I'm like, you guys are what, a newborn baby's age dating? What is it, nine months? Like, just... (Ian laughs). It's okay. Also, five years in, you're not even gonna want to go to weddings. with him anymore. Literally just go. (Shayne laughs).
Just go. - Yeah. The verdict is asshole. (Amber laughs). Yeah. - [Ian] What a surprise. - Comments. "You're the asshole. "Asking a bride for a plus one. "when you didn't get one originally is tacky as hell.". Oh, so they're saying she's the asshole not even-. - From the beginning. - For anything else. Just like, hey, that, boom, you're the asshole. - I mean, I haven't had a wedding, but apparently the catering and everything. is very expensive per guest. So it's like asking for a plus one is a little bit like-. - Late. If you're asking late.
- No, my wife and I, we were originally like, oh, are we gonna do a wedding? We did a courthouse thing. When we were originally talking about like, oh, a wedding, it's like, oh my god, for 50 people, it is so much money. - Even just for 50? - And so 50, we're like, who do we, like how do we decide like, oh my god, this is awful. - And now Vegas makes sense. - Oh, I understand why this is-. - And they all could bring someone. - So whenever anyone's having a wedding, I'm like, I understand. - Yeah, because 50 becomes 100 instantly. if you get plus ones. - Exactly. It's so-. - 50 doesn't even-.
- It's a mathematical nightmare. - Yeah. - And then you're thinking of people that you're like, do I even talk to this person? Like, would they be mad if I don't invite them? - Exactly. And then you get into family. So they're saying you're the asshole. for being tacky as hell. Someone replied underneath that comment saying, "And now she's going to have egg on her face. "as a coincidental result as the significant other. "goes to his bud's wedding instead.". Someone replied to that saying, "Yeah, I think if she got the plus one originally, "she would have been fine with her partner not going. "and going to the other wedding,
"but now that she knows she kind of overstepped. "and asked for the plus one, she made this whole situation.". That's probably why she's pressuring him. - She's like, "No, I did all this. "You need to come." - She's like, "You need to come to this wedding. "because I already pushed boundaries in another way.". - Yep. - So you need to actually help me. - So now you're the asshole, even though I'm the asshole. I'm the first asshole, you're the second asshole. - Yes. Double asshole. (crew laughs). - I like that. (crew laughs). Wait, does she have any other friends, does she say? 'Cause he gave her two, he's like, "Bring a friend, bring your sister. "Go party.".
- She's got a sister, so she could bring her. - Me and my sister, the footage of what we'd be doing at that wedding. would reach 100 miles to the next wedding. We would've had fun, I don't know. - Yeah. Someone said, "You're the asshole. "You can each go to your friend's wedding. "Let the bride know to rescind the plus one. "and apologize for the hassle. "It was really rude of you to ask her in the first place, "but that's not the point here. "Not everyone uses a save the date. "and not everyone plans a wedding significantly in advance. "Talk with your partner about this. "You do need to listen to each other. "and understand why each feels the way they do about it.". Lastly, someone said, "Friend of over a decade.
"as opposed to an added on plus one. "with a woman he's been dating for nine months. "Not a tough call. "You're right, you're being childish. "Life ain't fair and shit happens sometimes. "There is a compromise. "You go to your friend's alone, "he goes to his friend's alone. "This is a long time friend of his. "Be real. "You'd be pissed if he asked you to miss the wedding. "of a friend of a decade, so cut him the same slack.". 5,000 up votes. She got wrecked. - Can you imagine being that friend of a decade. and your friend says, "Hey, I got to go to a wedding.
"with this girl I've been with for nine months.". - Yeah. - And her friend I don't know. - That's betrayal. This is one of those situations. where they probably are gonna break up. - Can you imagine her as a bride? - Ooh. - You made a commitment to me as a friend. (Amber laughs). She calls every single person. - You made a commitment. - On the list. - No, I'm not giving you a plus one! - She calls all the maybes like, "Really? "After what we've been through, "you're gonna maybe my wedding?". They're like, "I'm having a baby.". - That doesn't sound committed to me. - You kind of have to be grateful though in the first year. if the person you're dating. gives you a really clear red flag like this.
- Yeah, that's true. - Like, almost an out of like, all right-. - It's only gonna get worse. It's not gonna get better. - [Shayne] Exactly. - This seems like her deep rooted personality. So run, sir. - Yeah. - Run to the wedding. - And I know Reddit tends to be like, "Oh, break up, divorce," whatever. I do think in those first months, like if you get a big clear sign like this, it's like-. - You get an easy out. - Hey man, maybe it's just better to take the bet of like, you know. - Rarely do you break up with somebody. based on a personality trait.
that wasn't shown to you earlier. So, sir, you should leave. - That's so true. - Okay, our next story. comes from the subreddit Relationships, which is not typically asking for an asshole verdict or not, but we can judge them anyways. - Of course we will. - This story comes from Relationships posted in 2016. - Oh God. - A decade ago. - People were dating in 2016? - I can't believe it. - Cringe. - I wasn't. I was feral. (crew laughs). - Oh. - It was 2016.
All right. OP is a 35-year-old woman, and she writes, "Me with my boyfriend, who's a 41-year-old man, "of three years, "just found out he has been secretly eating hot dogs. "because I unknowingly starve him.". - Oh, oh no. - What? - Oh no, oh no, poor baby. Hot dog, secret hot dog, man. - Where's he-. - Oh no. - Where's he hiding the hot dogs? - I don't know. - You could hide a hot dog anywhere if you try hard enough. - You got a trench coat-.
- I'm interested in you guys. - There could be a hot dog back here. - Oh, we hide hot dogs everywhere. - Check under your seat! (Amber laughs). - I do a Costco run in the morning. and then I just like spread them around. - There's nothing better than a Costco hot dog. - I had a Costco hot dog yesterday. My god. - It's so good. - It is the best. - They used to be a dollar. Are they still a dollar? - $1.50. (Amber gasps). For that and a soda. - They're keeping families together over at Costco. - Oh yeah. - They're keeping America together. - Oh, it's the best. All right. Enough about hotdogs.
Let's get into this story. "I recognize that this sounds insane from the post title. "My boyfriend and I have been together. "for almost three years. "We have what I would describe. "as a pretty solid relationship. "We have enough similar interests. "to enjoy activities together, "but enough divergent ones that we also have full, "complete lives outside of the relationship. "We already spend almost every night together. "and plan to move in together. "when his lease is up in the fall. "We work about three miles from each other. "and on some days carpool depending on schedules.". - Cute. - "Typically during the work week,
"I get up and make breakfast and pack our lunches. "This has been ongoing since probably six months in. "Usually for breakfast, I don't do anything crazy. "Oatmeal, cereal, scrambled eggs, and toast. "Normal breakfast stuff. "For lunch, I pack sandwiches, chips or pretzels, "some sort of fruit, "and a couple of days a week a sweet treat. "I always make his portions larger than mine, "and he's never complained before about any of it. "Today we went to lunch and stopped at a nearby park. "I was sitting across the picnic table from him. "when I noticed some yellow on his shirt. "and made a comment.".
And OP writes in quotations, "You have yellow on you joke.". I think they must have said, "You have yellow on your shirt.". Right? Like, you have yellow on yourself. - I'm scared. - You have yellow on you. - You have yellow on you. "He looked over and scratched it away. "There was a lot of it and I mindlessly said, "'Did you take a mustard bath before lunch?'. "And he just turned bright red. "After some questions as to why he was embarrassed, "the truth came out.". (Amber gasps). (crew laughs). "I don't make him large enough meals,
"and almost every day for the past two or so years. "he takes his 15-minute morning break. "and walks to a nearby convenience store. "where he purchases what can only be described. "as a second breakfast hot dog. "I recognize this sounds-" - A breakfast hot dog? - Breakfast-. - Second breakfast. - This is the most 7-Eleven shit ever. - Yeah. "I recognize this sounds ridiculous, "but I am so hurt and upset. "that he has been starving all this time. "and never wanted to say anything. "Of course, now I'm embarrassed.
"because he thinks it is all the funniest thing. "to ever happen. "But I am really, really bothered. "that instead of sharing his discomfort. "with me like a normal person, "he just had a mid-morning hot dog for months on end. "The conversation eventually ended up with us both mad. "Me for what I feel is deception. "Him for what he feels is me blowing this all. "out of proportion. "Do I just ignore it. "or is this indicative of a bigger problem?". - Oh no. - Edit. "He is the one who said he was starving, not me. "There's a whole lot of focus on that word choice, "so I wanted to clarify.
"I appreciate everyone's thoughts.". Okay. (Ian sighs). So they're both mad, but-. - This is so ridiculous. - My take is I think they're both, this is both-. - They're both off a little. - This is just a little silly. - 'Cause a morning hot dog? - For two years he didn't tell her. - He's just addicted to a morning hot dog. I don't think that he was-. - He's cheating on her with a hot dog. - Yeah, he would've ate a hotdog no matter what he ate, I think. - Also, they offer other things at the convenience store. (Amber laughs). He's only eating hot dogs.
This man is having a hot dog a day. - I mean, it's gonna be the hot dog. or those like weird like taquitos. that are rolling around. - That are just rolling. Rolling, spinning in hell. - Also, I'm sorry-. - You're reducing your life expectancy. - I'm sorry, can the man not pack his own lunch if this is a problem? - And there's the tea. - Or at the end of it, if she's so happy to make lunches, and he just could be like, "Hey, do you mind if you throw in an extra egg in there? "Hey, you know, thought,
"what if you packed a hot dog in there?". - You know what? - What if you packed all that and-. - Can you add a hot dog in there with my sandwich? - What if you threw a hot dog in there? - I don't think it's... I don't think it's weird to be like, "Oh, I'm like still a little hungry. "I'm gonna go have a snack.". And like, literally it doesn't matter. - It doesn't matter. It literally-. - It doesn't matter at all. - But here is the thing. I understand her in that any form of like secret. or deception is like, you kind of just go like, you can get twisted up about it. - So I'm not married, but I do want to ask,
can I not have a little secret? What if I like a little secret hot dog every day? If my boyfriend was like, hey-. - Let me have my secret wiener. (crew laughs). - No, if he is calling it a secret wiener, that's when I get involved. - Sorry, sorry. - That's when I get involved. - Now you have to step in. - Secret hot dog. - I just wish, honestly, this is so ridiculous, I wish she would've been more dramatic. with how she like revealed it. Like, I wanted her in the dark, turn the lights on, and be like, or just show up at the convenience store. when he's going to get the hot dog. and be like, "Well, well, well.". - A lamp at the-. - The guy from "Cheaters" shows up. (Amber laughs).
- [Shayne] Yeah. - You remember that show? - The guy from "Cheaters" and Chris Hanson walks in. What are you doing here? - What are you doing here? - It is like 100% like a cheating story. where like the woman finds like lipstick on his shirt. - Yeah, but it was mustard. - But it's a hot dog. - Like, this is the goofiest shit ever. And it's like, the fact that they both ended up angry is like-. - Is even funnier. - So sad because like it literally does not matter. - Yeah, no, neither-. - It does show a breakdown in communication. - That's what I'm seeing here. I'm like, you guys aren't talking about this stuff?
- He should just be like, "All right, I'm going to get my hot dog.". Like, "All right, bye, see you.". - Yeah. - Unless they were like vegetarians. and he's been lying and he eats-. - Oh. - Now I've done that where I was trying to be a vegetarian. for somebody and I was sneaking Sarku Japan. (crew laughs). That's my own business. But it wasn't every day. It wasn't like... I'm like, I just want a little teriyaki chicken. - So most days you were vegan. - Most days I was vegetarian. But on Fridays after a couple runs on DoorDash,
I would just eat a little teriyaki chicken from Sarku Japan. That's not bad. - That's okay. - But I didn't also feel like I had to share this. and be like, "Hey, look, I come to you to say...". (Shayne laughs). - Father, I have sinned. - Little bit teriyaki sauce on your shirt. - I'd be like, "Fine. I eat chicken sometimes.". And like, it's like-. - But teriyaki sauce isn't indicative of breaking veganism. - So he should've just said, "I just like to eat mustard packets,". and it would've been fine. - Or he could have just been like (yells).
Like, he could have just freaked out. He's like, "Where did this come from?". - Yeah, yeah, yeah. The mustard bandit got me. - [Shayne] Ah shit. - Yeah. - Okay. Comments. "Why didn't the boyfriend say anything before?". OP said, "He usually avoids conflict. "until it's at his breaking point.". - Oh great. We love that in a relationship. - That's solid. - So that is one of the problems. - And this person was saying. that like their relationship is actually really great. - I'd actually say it's pretty solid. - Yeah, this like one of those situations. where you like meet a couple and they're like, "Everything's great.
"We have never fought before. "Everything's awesome.". Never? Never fought before? - Never. Never disagreed before ever. - That's maybe not good. - We don't disagree on anything. - We are on the same accord on every issue, including hot dogs. - Never had an argument. - I'm like, "You guys are gonna kill each other.". - "I guess, A, I don't want to push someone. "to a breaking point when I am completely unaware, "although I guess it's not that big of a deal to him. "And B, holy shit, he needs to get his cholesterol checked.". - Yeah, yeah. That's a lot of processed-.
- It's a lot of hot dogs. - Every day. - It's a lot of processed meat every day. - That's at least seven hot dogs a week. - Someone else said, "You weren't starving him. "He's a grown man who by all means could have said. "at one point, 'Hey, can you pack me another sandwich?'. "He is a grown man who can also make his own lunches.". - There we go. - "You are taking responsibility for an issue. "that has nothing to do with you. "The real issue is why he didn't feel comfortable. "saying something about it. "to the point where he kept this a secret for so long.". Lastly, someone said, "I agree he probably should have said something before now, "but you also sound. "like you are blowing this way out of proportion.
"He honestly probably enjoyed his mid-morning break. "and thought of it as a treat rather than you starving him. "I'm sure he could have snuck food from home, "gone to the grocery himself, or any number of options. "if he truly didn't want a hot dog.". - So this is like a drunk cigarette. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Well, she seems a bit controlling. to be mad about him eating extra, so maybe he's scared. - I think there's probably a lot more going on. - I think he's definitely scared. He's definitely scared. - With how mad, them to both get mad about this situation, I'm like, what else is going on? - Both of them need-. - This is not solid.
But we're gonna find out 'cause we have an update. (Amber gasps). This was posted the next day. - Oh God. - So OP followed up. They write, "So I read everyone's comments. "and found most people thought I was overreacting. "and a handful thought I was a psycho bitch. "By the end of the day, I was feeling pretty bad. "Some points of clarification. "It was not the consumption of hot dogs that bothered me.". - Thank you for clearing that up. - "It just seemed really weird-". - It should be though. (laughs). That many hot dogs.
- I think that's the problem, but okay. - No. - "It just seemed really weird to me. "that this was a two-year habit he had never mentioned. "to me before. "That's like 500 times this has happened. "and it never came up.". - 500? - "He knows that I have a chai latte obsession. "I don't tell him every time I go to get one, "but he's aware that I hit up the coffee shop. "and sometimes he stops by for me. "I would've reciprocated is all. "We are both-". - At the 7-Eleven? - Yeah. - They just show up there together like, "Hey, what are you here for? "I don't know. "Just vibing, seeing what they got.". - Yeah, just checking it out.
- She wants to share a glizzy with her boy. (Amber mock retches). (crew laughs). - "We are both detail-oriented people, "so oftentimes we discuss the minutia of our days. "I don't care what he eats. "I am not trying to portion control anything. "or be his sole source of food. "Most people seem to think I'm a control freak. "I'm not. "He initially was defensive about the secret hot dog parties. "and told me-". - Parties? - Parties. - Oh, wait. Okay, she's calling it. I'm like, okay, now he's going to an event. - He's having a party at 7-Eleven. - [Amber] Okay. - "Secret hot dog parties and told me I was starving him.
"I got upset because I just wished I had known. "I am not a crazy person who would've been mad. "I would've just asked if he wanted more food. "or if he was fine with a mid-afternoon snack. "I did not really ban hot dogs in my home. "due to a tragic dachshund accident. "Come on now. "Anyway, I don't guess much of that matters now. "because things have taken a turn. "for what I perceive to be the worse.". - No. - "Like I said, I was feeling like a shit heel. "by the end of the day, "so I stopped by the grocery store on my way home.
"and bought him three cans of Vienna sausages.". - Ew. - "Which I presented with a verbal apology. "to him before dinner." - You like to eat poop, I'll buy you shit. - Yeah. What? - Yeah, Vienna sausages? - What the heck? That's a complete... I mean, I-. - This is somebody who's never eaten a hot dog before. - They said, "They have these four mini hot dogs. "I figured I'd get you-". - Out of a can. - Yeah, what? - In like water oil. - Yeah. - Not that I've eaten Vienna sausages a lot in my life, but I'm just saying. - Cocktail wieners. (Amber laughs).
Is that what they're called? - "I presented them with a verbal apology to him. "before dinner. "Before I get more mean messages about meat choices, "I know Vienna sausages are not hot dogs. "I just thought they were funnier.". - Oh, so you're making-. - Oh, her thing is a bit. - So you're making fun of him now? - She said the hot dogs aren't funny enough. Okay. - Oh, so hot dogs are funny to you? - Yeah, that's great to take this like, the most trying times in your relationship. and make a joke out of it. - Well, she should get some Nutella and fart spray.
and really-. - Yeah, those two couples should hang out. - Yeah. "He laughed, and we moved on. "During dinner, "which was not Vienna sausages in case you wondered-". - Prove it. - "We were talking about everything, "and I mentioned the original post I had made, "and he asked to see it.". - Oh. - "So he read it while I was cleaning up my kitchen. "And when I got done and went into the living room, "he was sitting there with tears in his eyes. "I asked him what was wrong, "and he took a deep breath and told me. "that he felt bad so many people had told me. "I was off the deep end.
"I was really confused by this point, "so I asked why he felt that way. "Turns out the reason I didn't know about his daily hot dog. "is because he has been meeting an ex there. "to take their morning break together.". - Did you guys see that coming? (crew laughs). Okay. This is the first time that I feel like I did not guess-. - [Emily] Ex? - That somebody was like cheating or an ex. This...
Okay, you guys got me. (crew laughs). Good one. Good one. - 2016 was a year. - I'm in shock. - Wow. - So this is a hot dog trist. - First off, you're going to meet a bitch to eat hot dogs? For real? Just cheat on me! Why are you going to eat hot dogs? - Here's the thing. Are they getting hotdogs? He's leaving on his, go to get his daily hot dog. He's going every day to go see his ex. Every day. - Oh, she getting hot dogs. And you know what?
(everyone laughs). Are you kidding? And then you tell me I'm starving you? She needs to stay away from hot dogs. She got PTSD. PTS dog. - Exactly. Exactly. - (beep). - "The girl is his college sweetheart. "who stayed in the city after school. "They broke up years before we even met, "so I only know of her abstractly. "He has always spoken fondly of her, "and according to him, they just grew apart. "However, it seems that she has a job. "working nearby the convenience store he frequents, "and once they realized via Facebook,
I knew they were friends on there. "It did not bother me. "See, I am not controlling. "They were working in close proximity. "They decided to meet up at the store. "So they go there four or five days a week, "get their snacks and chat. "He says it's just been talking. "She's got a boyfriend. "He says they don't really talk about their actual lives. "They just shoot the breeze. "I asked him why he didn't tell me about this before now.". - Shooting something. - "And he said he didn't think it was a big deal, "but that he also didn't want me to ask him about it. "or be suspicious.".
- This explains so much. This explains why he got so red when she asked him. - Yeah, we were like, why are you being-. - About the mustard. - What's wrong with getting a hot dog? - Oh. - Because this is why. He doesn't want her going to the convenience store. He doesn't want her anywhere near there. - Also, he got away with it. Why did he tell her? - Yeah! He didn't even have to say anything. - He's like, "Babe, I'm sorry about the hot dog.". - [Shayne] The guilt. - He's like, "I'm crying because they're calling you an asshole. "I'm cheating at the hot dog store.". - Yeah, it's so weird. How did the comments draw that out of him?
- Guilt. - I mean, 'cause yeah, because this is the thing. It's guilt, like, right? Because it's like he's now seeing the world she's living in. - Yeah. - And that's what cheaters do. Their partners live in a weird, not real world. of like what's going on. And like it's breaking everything apart. His guilt finally got to him. So she continues. She goes, "I don't know. "I feel like having secret ex-girlfriend meetings. "that happen to include hot dogs is a lot different. "from having secret hot dogs.
"So I guess the update is that I am still upset, "although I feel like now things are maybe more justified. "I tried to not overreact, "told him that this was all pretty (beep) weird. "that he has hung out with an ex, briefly as it may be, "daily for nearly two years without mentioning it.". - Oh God, I forgot the two years. - I think... Here's the issue. He never once told her that he was meeting up. and talking with an ex. - Yeah, for two years. - And that takes a very active, you know, thought process.
- Yeah, every day. - And then the question becomes why? - Yes. - Because if it wasn't a big deal-. - Totally. - If you weren't attracted to this person, you weren't trying to, if you weren't getting some kind of like something. out of it, you would feel free to be like, "Oh yeah, like occasionally I see my ex, "she works at the convenience store. "Oh yeah, I saw her today-". - She works there? - She works nearby the convenience store. - Oh, nearby. Oh yeah. - So they meet up at the convenience store and hang out. - And so it's like, if you start obfuscating.
or neglecting to talk about meeting up with somebody. that you were romantically involved in, that is-. - Horrible. - Not good. - You're just omitting like so much information. - Even if they didn't do it. Even if they didn't actually do anything. - No, but it lends, it's like you're keeping it a secret, why? Because you don't want her to know about like-. - This feels like one of those moments. where somebody tells you a little bit. so they can hide a lot. Like, where they're like, "Okay, fine. "I am eating hot dogs with my ex.".
And you're like, "Okay.". - Well, he already did the first layer where he's like, "Okay, here's...". And he's like, "I've been starving because of your,". like he's putting it on her. - 'Cause of your sandwiches. - And then it kind of re-contextualizes. their first conversation, right? And it's like, oh, that was his... He got caught, so he has to come up. with like the first layer of like what do I tell her? - The starving is metaphorical. (Amber gasps). - So now he's lied, he's kept the secret and now he's lied again. And I think by that point it's like, all right. - We're two lies in. - We're two lies in. - It's like, where does the lie stop? - And here's the thing.
She continues on. "He said he didn't have any intention. "of stopping his morning chats with the ex, "so I needed to learn to deal with it.". - Oh, okay. All right, it's over. - "I don't know. "I honestly just feel really sad and gross right now. "Also, he left the Vienna sausages at my place.". - Throw them out. - Do a non-killing, a non-lethal poison in the sandwich. (everyone laughs). 'Cause I'm not making sandwiches. - [Emily] He's a 41-year-old man. - He's 41. - I'm so sorry. Excuse me? - This is a 41-year-old man. - In 2016. So this is a 51-year-old man. And I hope he is like maybe sick from the hot dogs.
and whatever hotel you guys are eating hot dogs at. 'cause I don't believe you. I don't believe anything you're saying. - I don't believe him at all. No. - I hope he didn't skip his-. - Why has she not followed him Disney Channel style? Like, in the bushes. We need disguises. I would've... - Yeah. - Nobody I've ever dated feel comfortable ever asking me. to make you a sandwich ever again. (crew laughs). - Yeah. I don't believe anything from him at this stage. - No. - I don't even believe, I don't believe their chats are.
at the convenience store only. I think a lot of stuff has probably been going on. This is what's tough is at that point. when that trust has been broken so much, you kind of have to just end it and go, "Well, I have no idea. "Like, I have to only assume the worst.". - Because what are y'all updating each other on every day? It's not catching up if we're talking every day. That's not catching up. - Exactly. - We're hanging out. - Yeah, that's a very, at the least, a very consistent friendship. - 'Cause I think if you rewind,
if this is truly all genuinely innocent, and he goes, "Hey, my ex, who I'm on good terms with. "and like we're friends, "like we were talking about like hanging out sometime. "Could I go talk to her?". - No. - And then as a couple, you talk about it, and it's like if that's the boundary, whatever. But also if it's like if she had said, "Okay, fine. "Like, can I come like hang out with you?". - Could I come hang? - Then it's like... But it's coming from a place of like, I'm not keeping this secret. I'm not trying to like-. - And this all came from a mustard stain, by the way.
- Thank you, mustard. - I can't believe it was literally the lipstick stain. but mustard, but it all led back to the same exact thing. - It always comes back to the same thing. Eating hot dogs with another woman. - If you're in a relationship. and there's any kind of stain on your partner, they're cheating on you. - Yeah. That's the lesson. - And they're eating. while they're doing it. - Dirt, blood, mustard, slime. - Dirt? Where are they cheating at? - A field. - Oh. (Amber laughs). - A field. - Rock climbing.
- You're hanging out at the field? (everyone laughs). - But it's also like... Like, to truly take a lunch that was made by your partner. and immediately go see your ex every day. - Yeah. - Two years. - Are y'all talking about my sandwiches? 'Cause I want to know what the conversation's about. - No, there's no coming back from that. - No. - To be like, "Oh, you've been talking to your ex every day. "for two years.". - Y'all are besties. - It's over. It's over. It's just like, yeah, that's-. - You guys just get back together. It's fine.
- Even if it's just conversation, I'm like, this is what I've always said about cheating. is that it's like, it's not even, beyond just right and wrong of like, oh, you should break up because they betrayed you, whatever. I'm like, even if you wanted to stay with the person, how do you get that trust back? - How could you believe anything? - It's just like, damn, deep in my bones, I can't trust anything anymore. - Yeah, 'cause it also comes down to intention. 'Cause even if this other woman does have a partner, why does he think it's okay to like continue.
to keep this secret. that he's been seeing her every single day? Like, he clearly has an intention there-. - [Shayne] Yeah. - That he knows his actual partner will not approve of. - And also like, it's also the second lie too. that makes it so even more horrendous. of like you're kind of getting caught. and then you come up with a second lie. And it's just like at that point, it's just like, oh-. - And even the fact he wanted to see the comments. He's like, "Let me see what they're saying.
"just in case anybody might've said-". - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? - All right, well, let's move on. - Wow. - Our final story comes from Am I The Asshole, posted this month. "Am I the asshole. "for not making my new grandkid a homemade blanket. "and not giving her one already made?". Okay. - I'm just gonna predict. that at the end of this Reddit post, she signs it off with her name. - Oh, I hope so. - Yeah. - Okay, so this-. - And it's in all caps. - Yeah. - Edna. - All of this. All right, so this is a Reddit story from a grandma.
That's a first. - Dude, yeah. Shout out to grandmas on Reddit. - Grandmas. "My son remarried around six months ago, "and my new daughter-in-law. "already had a daughter named Becky. "Becky is 10 and overall is a sweet girl. "When each of the grandkids were born, "I made a big blanket for all of them, "the size of a twin bed. "I spent a lot of time and effort on all of them. "I know most of the kids still use them often. "The last one I made was six years ago, "and I struggled to make it. "My son asked me to make a blanket for Becky.
"I told him no because of my arthritis in my hands. "and I have trouble sewing now. "He asked if I would be willing to give her the one. "that I made for his sister's child. "My daughter had a stillbirth so the blanket was never used. "I told him no, that that blanket was meant for someone else. "and it feels real shitty. "to give it to someone it wasn't intended for. "I thought that was the end of it, "but I got a call from my daughter-in-law. "and she was pissed. "She claims I am not seeing her kid as my grandkid. "and I should be stepping up. "I told her I can't make a blanket, "and she told me to give the old one to her daughter.
"I told her no. "She is pissed and I am kind of pissed. "My son told me to just give her the blanket. "or I won't see the kids.". - Oh my god. - Oh my gosh. - Give it up! - Over a blanket! - This is crazy, man. - Y'all sticking her up for a blanket? - This is a grandma. You can't do this to a gran, you can't ask that of a grandma. - Just go to Walmart. They got blankets there. - Does the kid even want the blanket that bad? - That kid's not gonna, well. - Yeah. - [Ian] I mean-. - A 10-year-old. - So Becky is 10. Years have passed.
- They don't want blankets. They want Roblox. - The grandkid is not gonna care about this, right? So this is more for the son. And now he's remarried, but the daughter-in-law of the grandma. is the one also demanding of this. I'm like, that's wild, man. Like, you're lucky to have a mother-in-law. who's not like a nightmare to you. Like, don't go demanding that shit. Like, what? - She's like, "I have arthritis.". They're like, "And?". - Yeah. (laughs). Get to work, grandma.
- I think it's, yeah. And it's also weird to be like, "Well, you didn't have to give that one blanket. "because of the stillbirth.". - [Amber] It's not using it. - That's fucking wild. - Insanity. - Give it to her. - That's bullshit. - Nobody's using this blanket. Bitch, what the hell? - I think, yeah, that is unbelievable shit. Like, that is heartlessness. - If my brother said that and was like, "Can we take your blanket 'cause you're not using it?". I would literally probably mess up his car.
Like, I can't imagine a world... - No, that is-. - Horrible. - Truly like no empathy. Like, that is some heartless shit. - I think obviously like where it's coming from. is that feeling of like needing to feel. like you are a part of the family. and, you know, the daughter-in-law is probably concerned. that her daughter is going to feel left out of the family. if she's not involved in the traditions of that family.
I understand that. - [Shayne] Sure. - But like you can find so many other ways. to make the granddaughter feel welcomed in the family. You don't need to give her, she doesn't give a shit about a blanket. - The stipulation of the blanket is that somebody was born. Sorry, you were born 10 years ago. You don't get a blanket. It's really simple. I hate to say. - Things change over time. Like, yeah, she has arthritis. - My hands hurt. The grandma's literally like this. They're like, "Do it anyway.". It's like, okay, you do it.
Go on YouTube and she do it. How about we do it together? And I watch her do it. - Yeah, I guess there was a comment that was like, "Hey, you could also like, "does the daughter-in-law want to learn. "how to make one of these blankets? "You could help her like do that herself. "since your hands hurt.". - That brings her into the family. It's like passing down-. - [Amber] Now she's initiated. - I am sure OP loves this new grandchild. as much as all the rest. Like, grandmas love their grandkids. Like, she seems like a great grandma.
And what's most important I feel like is just, hey, like spend time with your grandkids. Like, that's what should matter to the parents. - Like, are they taking these blankets everywhere they go. as a family? - It seems, it's just very symbolic to the son. and the daughter-in-law. Like, that seems like it's just like, "Hey, like I'm remarried. "But like treat us the same.". It's like, yeah, but this isn't a emotional decision. She literally cannot make... Making a blanket is, that's intense work, man. - And she said it's like the size of like a twin bed. - That's huge. - Yeah, it's huge, dude.
- Every loop, one loop at a time. Are you kidding? - It is so much work. Okay. Verdict is not the asshole. - Of course. - Reddit is on the grandma's side. - Grandma. - Comments. "Not the asshole. "You explained why it is not possible. "for you to make another blanket. "It has nothing to do with the girl, but with your health. "That's a very valid reason. "It was very rude to ask for the blanket. "that was made for his sister's child. "He does not get to decide what happens to that blanket.". Someone said, "The threat of withholding the grandkids is what gets me. "That's not a guy trying. "to help his stepdaughter feel included.
"That's straight up manipulation, "and it should worry OP. "more than the blanket situation itself.". Someone said, "This. "Sorry, but your son is an ass.". Someone said, "So is his wife.". Lastly, someone said, "Not the asshole, but your-". - And you know what? So is Becky. - So is Becky! - [Ian] Know what, actually, it's Becky's fault. - Yeah, yeah! - 'Cause what does she think in all this? - [Shayne] Yeah, what does she have to say? - I mean, what, three years she's 13? She's gonna be fine. - Just get her some Robux. - Yeah, give her some Robux. - She'll be stoked. - Someone said, "Not the asshole, "but your son and daughter-in-law are.
"You physically cannot make it. "And no, they cannot have the blanket made. "for your stillborn grandchild. "Buy her some yarn and tell her to ask her mother. "or learn a new skill.". Exactly. Sorry. The final sentence was, "My son told me to just give her the blanket. "or I won't see the kids.". - That sucks. - That's like a 1920s like, "Nyah, see, "give me the blanket or-". - It's like, what the heck? Oh, if I don't get this blanket, then I'm gonna remove you from the equation. Like, what? You're not thinking about your kids at all. - Well, and that plays into the whole manipulation thing.
of like just holding these things to be like, "Well, if you don't, then you can't see your grandchild.". - And then you're gonna tell them. it's 'cause I don't want to see them, and really this is over a blanket. that I physically cannot knit. - Yeah. - Imagine like when Becky turns like 18. and then she like reconnects with grandma, and she's like, "How come you weren't around?". Well, 'cause I didn't make you a blanket. - Remember that blanket you never got? - 'Cause I had arthritis. - Yeah. - Yeah, I literally have arthritis in my hands. and I'm just trying my best.
- I just think like there's so many other things. that they could do. Like, it's like you don't have the blanket, but it's like, hey, like-. - Come over. - The grandma's like, go to the zoo with Becky. Like, whatever. I don't know, who gives a shit? Anyways. Well, that's all our stories. - Wow. - That was crazy. - It's a wild ride. - People are crazy, which makes me feel good about myself honestly. - Yeah. Is it nice to hear stories. where the person's not in front of you, like you're not judging them to their face. or do you prefer to-. - I wish they were all here actually. I do. I wish this lined up like a docket style one at a time.
- Hot dog man. - The hot dog people need to be in here. - Yeah. - They are the craziest. But also just holding a ransom over your mother. because she doesn't want to make your stepchild a blanket. is insane. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's a lot. - Yeah. - No, we had some awful people today. - We had some bad people today. - We really did. - Is this the norm? - It fluctuates. - Yeah, we just read a story about a shit river.
- Yeah. (crew laughs). It's all over the place, you know? You never know what you're gonna get. - It's a lot of poop though, I noticed. - Yeah. - Feces is a common theme. - Yeah. - Or fake. Or fake feces, apparently. - It's just Reddit, you know? That's just how it goes. - We need more grandmas on Reddit though. - We need more grandmas. More grandma stories. - Everyone-. - More grandmas. - Call your grandma right now. - Make her a Reddit account. - Yeah, be like, there's a thing. You go www.reddit.com.
- It shouldn't be hard for them. - Mm-mm. Load it on the iPad for them already. - And if they say, "I can't type, my arthritis,". you say, "Suck it up, grandma.". (Amber laughs). You gotta type it up. - But are there any subreddits. that grandma should stay away from? - Probably most. - All of them. - Probably most. - A lot. - Probably most. - A lot. - Yeah. Anyways, Amber, thank you so much for joining us. - Thank you for having me. So fun. - You're lovely. - Thank you, Amber. - Thank you. - Thank you for tolerating all of these stories. Amber, where can people find you?
- They can find me @ambdotcom on all socials. That's A-M-B-D-O-T-C-O-M. And just follow my comedy. Send me a nice message. Send me a mean message, whatever. I don't care. (everyone laughs). - Okay, great. And, Ian, thank you as always. - Thank you. - You know, I'm here. - And thank you for watching, and we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye.
