We Are NEVER Getting Back Together | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hi, welcome to "Smosh Reads Reddit Stories.". I'm Shayne, and today's theme is exes, or situations that are going to lead to people being exes. I am joined by two ex-Smosh cast members, Trevor and Arasha. - No! - What? (group laughing). - That would be so (beep) up if you told us like this. - Imagine if that's how you found out. No, I don't have that power. - No. - I'm joined by two friends, Arasha and Trevor. - Never exes. - Never. - Never exes. - Yeah, if we're ever ex-friends, then that would make me sad.

- Ex-friends is so much more brutal. than ex like girlfriend/boyfriend. - And they don't prepare you for that in your adulthood, that you're gonna have some friendship breakups. It's really sad. - Every story we've read about ex-friends. always hits way harder then. - Yeah. - Wow. (both sighing). Way To kill the vibe, Trevor. (group laughing). - Just immediately blaming yourself. All right, I think we have a good variety of stories here, so let's begin. First one comes from Am I the Asshole? My wife wants a divorce because I told her.

I'll water her regularly for photosynthesis. (Trevor laughs). So my wife wants a divorce because I told her. I'll water her regularly for photosynthesis. - Okay, I heard that right, yeah, great. - But that's not how photosynthesis works. - I don't think that's how photosynthesis, that's like-. - I don't know how you water a woman, but let's-. - Well, that's probably why she wants a divorce. 'cause he doesn't know what photosynthesis is. - And she's like, hey, I'm a biologist. That's not how it works. - Right, so we figured it out.

- Throw away, because I'm half embarrassed. to post this in the first place. My wife, who's 26, and I, 28-year-old man, have been married for six months now. We don't joke around usually. since I have early on figured she's not too into jokes, and I'm not much of a jokester either. Yesterday I was randomly sitting on my couch watching TV. when she came up to me asking if I'd still love her. if she were a plant. So I'm very much aware of trap questions that exist. and my first thought was to make sure. to give her a good answer. I told her I would still love her then. and water her regularly for photosynthesis.

I wasn't joking here, although I know it might sound silly. I said it very seriously too. Usually when I joke, I laugh right after. because I can't handle my own embarrassing jokes either. But this wasn't one of those cases. My wife just looked at me dead in the face. like I said something really wrong. She said that was insensitive of me to joke about. and could have phrased it better. I got a little defensive because I found it absurd. that she kept saying it was a bit too much. to joke about her question. when I really wasn't trying to do that.

Then suddenly she said she wanted a divorce, which made me laugh. I agree, it wasn't the right timing to laugh, but it came out accidentally, and she said, see, you're not taking me seriously at all. We had a small argument, which then escalated. with her bringing out my past nonchalant way of talking. that she said was very immature. and not considerate of the other person. She got really upset and brought up the divorce again. I thought she might just be sulky. and will let this go soon enough. But she's dead serious about this thing. She called her mom today. saying she's considering a literal divorce.

Her mom hasn't said anything or called me yet, and my wife isn't talking to me at all. I'm genuinely lost because I didn't mean what I said. with any bad intentions. Just when I felt like I settled down a bit, this happens, and I'm not sure what I should be doing. Is there anything I could say to make her feel better? I really don't want a divorce due to something like this, but I'm willing to correct my way of answering or talking. - That's absurd. - Girl. - That is, I feel like. that's like the answer you'd wanna hear. Like anytime it's like, dude, would you still love me if I was a worm?

And it's like, I'd make a little home for you, like dirt in my house. Like, that's a great. He's like, I'd care for you. I'd water you every day. Like, that's very sweet. - It's like not, not only did he, is she getting upset over an absurd question and answer, but he also answered the question correctly, and she's still upset. - Yeah, I'm as confused as you guys are. This almost strikes me as like, did she just want a divorce, and she's just trying to find something?

- Something, I think it's maybe the latter half. that is telling us more about what's going on. The whole him saying things nonchalant, I think is the deeper rooted, unintended. - I mean, I guess maybe. From this story, we don't know. Is like, it sucks. - It also seems like something. that could have been brought up like previously. if this was something that she had an issue with. She seems like this nonchalant, she's like, I just think you could take me a little bit more seriously. That seems like a pretty reasonable conversation to have.

before you get married to someone. - Right. - Right. Yeah, like bringing up like, hey, I don't feel like you're taking me seriously enough. - Right, right. - But being like, would you love me if I, 'cause honestly the question, would you still love me if I was a plant, is a silly question. - Yeah. - Right. - It's like funny. It's a funny question to bring up 'cause it is like absurd, and he answered it seriously, which that would make me laugh. - Yeah. - Right. - Someone answering that question seriously, like being like, yeah, I would, I would water you every day.

- And being like, yeah, exactly. Like I'm going to do the effort of making sure. that you can grow with me still in a way. - Yeah, I would water you for photosynthesis. She's like, that's not how the (beep). - She's like, get outta your head. - You're not taking it seriously. You're not thinking about actual plants. - Yeah, if anything, he's taking it far too seriously. - She's like, you're way too serious. You love me too much. - I'd be like, yeah, I'd eat you. I'd eat you if you were a plant. - Damn, smoke you. - Smoke you? - I'd smoke you, babe.

- I love the top comment. The top comment is being single is underrated. (group laughing). 14,000 up-votes. She's like, hey, man, don't deal with that. Someone said, in my humble opinion, she wanted divorce before that. I believe she used this convo as an opportunity to tell you. In other words, I don't think you had anything to do with it. I hope I'm wrong, but. Someone else said, can't imagine being together with someone that dull. Maybe a divorce is for the best. Might even go for an annulment if it's possible. So no division of assets, not the asshole. - Damn.

- Yeah. - Do you guys think I'd still be a cast member. if I was a plant? - Yeah. And well, most of our plants here are plastic. - Yeah, we don't have any real plants. on camera anywhere, unfortunately. - On "Bored AF," those two plants. - Those are not real. - They book every time. - We've gotten in fights with those plants. - I could be a fake plant. - Okay. You know what? - So I'm tired. - You know what this story reminds me of. is the legend of lotion man, which was another story we read.

where a lady was getting outta the shower. and she put a little lotion on her finger. and made like a little smiley face. and a little hair like on her finger. And she goes to her husband, she goes, hey, look, it's lotion man. And he just leaves the house, gets in his car and (beep) leaves. - Yeah. - And it uncovers that there was like a whole affair. and everything going on, and that was just the moment that he like lost it. - He was having an affair with somebody else. - He was having an affair. Yeah. - Oh, okay. - But like that moment of seeing lotion man,

just, it just hit him. - Oh my gosh. - So it's just like, I mean, I guess that's how life works is like, if you don't address things and you let things build up, the moment that it's gonna break might be a silly moment. - Yeah, it comes out in silly ways. - Yeah, and I think, I wonder if people relate to that. in like in relationships that weren't going right, and you kind of know it, or maybe you sense it, but then it's like those moments that shouldn't be big.

suddenly become big, and you feel insane when you're on the receiving end. 'cause you're not sure what's wrong. But if your partner or someone is not in it. or feeling a bunch of stuff that they're not addressing, then it's those like moments that don't make sense. where it like bursts. - Yeah, because then you're just post shower. with lotion man on your finger and alone in the bathroom. - I get that too when people really need closure. because probably relationships end in ways like that. where you're like, what happened?

What was with that joke? What was with the thing? When it's really probably something. that they weren't even considering or thinking about. - Yeah, although when you put it like that, I think there actually are probably a lot more cases. where comedy gets misunderstood in a way. Maybe some that aren't seemingly. as like silly on the outside. But something where a joke really does get misplaced. And it does hurt somebody's feelings. - That's very true. I mean, we know that well here. Like it's easy to say a joke,

and then it's just like it doesn't get read, and then when it doesn't get read, it's a completely different statement. So I understand that too. - And I get that. I feel like in relationships that I've been in the past. that like maybe I hadn't fully realized. that I didn't want to be in yet. Like there are those little things. that like to somebody else. or like on the outside in a situation like. wouldn't be weird, but that do kind of like, you know, trigger something in the back of your head. that you might not realize is like, oh, I don't wanna be with this person. Like that little annoyance.

But this is just the turbo extreme version of that. that has been built up over a crazy long period of time. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I mean, they're clearly not a right fit. regardless of what's going on. I mean, humor is a huge part of things. And if you're not on the same wavelength of that vibe, well, that's the end of that one. There's no update. So we don't know. - Is she a plant? (group laughing). - I think she might have actually been a plant. - Yeah, (beep). - Today's Reddit stories is brought to you by Zocdoc.

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to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dotcom slash pitreddit, zocdoc.com/pitreddit. (bright music). Back to the show. Our next story comes from, am I the asshole. Am I the asshole for not taking down an ex-rated book. when my ex's girlfriend asked me to? Okay, last year, I, a 24-year-old woman, wrote an erotic novel to make some money on the side.

It ended up picking up traction. and makes a fair amount of sales every month. I'm not living off the income, but it helps pay some bills every month. while I'm getting my master's. A lot of the book was inspired by my boyfriend at the time. He knew I was writing it, and it was often a joke between us. that he had to give me more to write about. He read the book before I self-published it. and gave it his seal of approval. I wouldn't have published it if he'd been uncomfortable. The character doesn't resemble him. in personality or appearance, and there are no hints that would give away. who my inspiration was.

I wrote under a fake name too, so it's unlikely to be traced back to him at all. We broke up six months ago, but we keep in touch. We've been friends for a while and the split was mutual, so there are no hard feelings. I knew that he had started seeing someone over the summer, and I guess he told her about the book. because she approached me at the library yesterday. and asked me to take the book down. She said it makes her uncomfortable. knowing that people read details about our sex life. I asked her if my ex was uncomfortable with it, and she said he was. I told her I would take it down.

That night, I texted my ex. and told him I was sorry the book made him uncomfortable. and that I would take it down as soon as I could. He had no idea what I was talking about. He said it didn't make him uncomfortable, and that I didn't need to take it down. He cracked some jokes about how he was glad. I was still profiting from his hard work. When I told him his new girlfriend had approached me, he said that she did think it was weird, but it wasn't her call. Today I was eating lunch and the girl came up to me again. She started saying that I was disrespectful. for going behind her back to talk to her boyfriend. Side note, I talked to my ex semi-frequently anyways,

and that I was disgusting forever publishing the book. She also said that it was gross I was involving other people. in my exhibitionist kink unwillingly. I let her talk for a bit. and then told her she was overreacting. I said I did it to make money, not because I derived pleasure from it. and that the book's publication is between me and my ex. It doesn't involve her. She called me a bitch and stormed off. I know it's kind of weird to have a book out there. with details about me and my ex's sex life, but I don't really wanna take it down. because it's a good source of income. Am I the asshole?

- Whoa. - That's so interesting. - Side note is, it's so funny to say, I let her talk for a bit. (group laughing). - I let her talk for a bit. - I let her talk for a bit, and then finally I was like, all right, bitch. - Go on. No. Such a unique, this is honestly not the first time we've read something. about an erotic novel being inspired from real life, and it's something I'd never considered before. But I think the big thing here.

that is huge is the consent of it all. And he consented to it, and he's also consistently still consenting to it, right? That feels like the big piece here. I don't know. I mean, this is-. - It also, it seems like. she went to really like great lengths to be like, it doesn't resemble him in appearance or personality. Like there's nothing tied to it. that could trace it back to him at all. It's just probably just like sex things they did.

And it's like, you could have like, you could get sex things from anywhere. It's like. - I love sex things. - You know, it's like- - It's true, man. - It's just probably easier for her to write about things. that she's personally experienced, and it's like, it feels like such a crazy thing. if he is just like fine with it. - Yeah, we should get the name of this novel. for research purposes. - Smosh reads this erotic novel. - Smosh reads sex things. - Honestly, hit show. - Hit, hit after hit. - Hit show.

- The verdict is not the asshole, and I agree with that because she's not. Like she's talked to her. She did the right thing of like, oh, I'll go to my ex if he's uncomfortable. She was like willing to take it down. if he was uncomfortable with it. But he was like, no, I'm not, like keep it up. And she's like, okay, I will. I do understand the discomfort, I absolutely understand. I mean, of course, bro, like if you're dating someone, it's like, oh, there's a book that details. how they and their ex.

- Did sex. - And all these crazy things. You would, of course, I would of course feel uncomfortable, but you have to like talk to your partner about that, right? Like I don't know. - I don't know, I feel like I'd be like, that's kind of hot. (group laughing). - I think I could see, look, there's probably a bunch of different types of reactions. to those things. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I'm with you. - And it depends on how comfortable you feel. - How secure. - Secure you feel. in your current relationship. He seems like, I mean, from what I'm reading, it seems like he's a very secure person.

She is too, OP. But the new girlfriend is feeling a type of way about it. We should flag that the OP and her ex broke up. six months ago, as of this being posted. So the new girlfriend, it's very fresh. - I do totally get it. Like I think that's something. that would make me uncomfortable. just as far as like where my insecurities are. But it is really a conversation. that you have with your partner. and not with the person, with OP. It's gotta- - You can't go behind your,

to go behind your partner's back and lie. and say my partner's uncomfortable, is, that's where she's really, I think she's in the wrong. - Yeah, it's also so bold to do that. so early on in a new relationship. - Yeah, man. - To be able to, you know, go to great lengths. to communicate to the ex like that. I feel like I also remember you saying. that they communicate semi-frequently. - Yeah, she said that. - So maybe that's a part of it. - Yeah, I mean, look, her feelings are, I think her feelings are valid.

- Completely, - But the actions aren't. I mean, I think it's a huge red flag, if you're dating someone and your new partner contacts. or goes up to your ex without your knowing. or without your like discussion first, that's a massive red flag, I think no matter who your ex is, because it's just like, hey, you're taking things into your own hands that shouldn't be. - Right, because it just disrupts the core principle. of a relationship, that you guys are a unit, that you're a team, and that you're communicating.

about everything that's basically happening in your lives. So to cross the boundary on something. so delicate as an ex behind your partner's back. You're right, it's a major red flag. - I mean, I know that erotic novels have always existed, but I feel like we're really in like this era. They're very mainstream now. Like I hear about 'em all the time. I've read some. - Yeah, I like the audio book versions. - Nice, badass. - Thanks. - I too love sex things. - You take out a headphone right now.

You're like, anyways. - I'm listening to it right now. - (laughs) But it's an interesting, it's an interesting aspect of consent. that I'd never considered until like this show. But it's really fascinating. Comments, not the asshole. Her insecurities are not your issue. Someone said not the asshole. You've cleared it with your ex twice now. Sounds like the current girlfriend feels threatened. That's on her. Someone said, involving people. in my exhibitionist kink unwillingly. Seeking erotic novels out. and paying for them is hardly unwilling.

She's the one going around her boyfriend's back. in order to get her way. Let those kinky dollars roll in, not the asshole. - Kinky dollars. - I would also say like, I guess, I guess everyone's reading experiences are different, but it's like she's reading this. knowing like this is about this woman and her ex, right? But most people reading a book are putting themselves. in it in some sort of way. A book is like a completely different experience. for every person who reads it. I've thought about this. I think the reader is the one.

who like kind of completes the novel, right? Like the writer writes it, but the novel isn't done when they're done writing it. The reader is the one who finishes it because-. - It's a fascinating way to put that. - You create it together, right? Like it's, what a book looks like. in everyone's head is gonna be so different. And that's interesting when castings come out. for like the movie version. And some people like it, some people don't, you know? 'Cause everyone has a different idea. of a story in their head. So I'm like, they're not reading this, your boyfriend and her ex, and his ex. They're not reading that.

They're reading a different story. - It's interesting to put it like that too. because then it's like, I even challenge the new girlfriend. in that if this book was taken down, I don't know if her problems would be solved. Like, she still read this experience. - It's still there. - She's uncomfortable with what she read, and she's, you know, letting it out. and executing it in a way of like finish it. Nobody else needs to read this. But I think she clearly is just still like, I hate what I read and I hate what I know. And trying to manage it in some way by shutting it down.

- But it's still gonna persist. - Yeah, yeah. 'Cause that comparison is always gonna be there. - Totally. - Update. - Let's go. - Shortly after I made the post, I got on Amazon to look at my book. and noticed I'd gotten an influx of bad reviews. I checked the reviews and found some buzzwords. that my ex's girlfriend had used. Thankfully, I'm fairly certain I can get these removed. I'm also concerned. because Amazon takes a few days to process reviews. So I don't know how many more of these will be coming. I decided to call my ex and let him know what was happening.

I told him about his girlfriend confronting me, calling me a bitch, how she initially lied to me about his feelings, and now the bad reviews. He was floored. I don't think he had seen that side of her personality. My ex is an all around great guy, and he was very apologetic. He said he would talk to her about it. He said he didn't tell her the name of the book, but he did have it on his Kindle. So she must have snooped and found it. This morning I was getting a coffee in the student center, and the girl walked up to me and started screaming at me. Apparently she and my ex broke up, and she blamed it on me.

I didn't know what to do, so I just took off walking to my car. She started calling me a slut and a hore and a pervert. Nothing in the book is that bad, especially if you like erotica already. She followed me outta the building, but thankfully stopped chasing me. once I hit the parking lot. I was shaking, and I called my ex again. He ended up coming to sit in my car with me. until I calmed down. We considered calling the campus police, but I didn't wanna explain it to them. So he walked me back inside. She was there, but when she saw my ex with me, she didn't yell. She burst into tears, and said she knew he was cheating. He told her to leave me alone.

He hadn't cheated, factual, and that he broke up with her. because she was too jealous and immature. Ex bought me a coffee, and we discussed filing a police report. if she approaches me again. So, yeah, that's pretty much it, I hope. Definitely feels like sequel material, although I'm a bit lacking. in the physical inspiration part these days. (group laughing). Her next book is a horror novel. - Yeah, damn, now I want OP and the ex to get back together. and bang for the sequel? - I actually love that they didn't,

'cause it's just like, hey, like there was nothing. Like that book was factual. But like we're in a new era now. Like this is, and that shows here. - As far as writer's stories go, this seems like one of the most mature relationships. between two people that I've like ever heard. - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - It's just like very like consensual communicative. Like they're on the same page even though they're broken up. - Totally. I would say I'm not surprised by her maturity. 'cause I honestly think it takes a lot of maturity to like,

the compartmentalization and ability. to write an erotic novel. Like would tell me that. that person probably is emotionally mature. and like able to like recognize the differences of things, and I don't know, the inspirations of things and stuff, but, man, that ex, that's so far, that's the ex of the episode right now. - Yeah. - Damn. - It's so interesting too. I mean, it's so predictable, the way that she immediately is blaming OP for the breakup.

and then sees them together and calls it cheating. It's like there's so much displacing. of responsibility and blame. Just a constant source of insecurity. - Oh my god, yeah. It sucks. I mean, insecurity really is like, it can just do so much to a person. if you let it build and you buy into it more and more. I want to feel bad for her, but she did chase OP down to a parking lot, so that, you know, you lose some of my sympathy there.

- Yeah, campus police wouldn't have done anything. - They'd been like, that's crazy. Can I read it? (audience laughing). They're like, wait, you wrote that book? - Be like, hey, if this relationship thing didn't work out, do you wanna go out with me, I guess. - Anyway, need a ride to the co-op? Cool. (group laughing). - Sorry, real quick, quick detail. He did have it on his Kindle. - And that's hot. I'm into this man. - Okay, my thing is like, 'cause if,

I'm curious what people think like, 'cause I'm like, okay, that, I could see people having a problem. with him having it on his Kindle. because it is specific stories about them both. But that is a conversation. that this ex needs to have with him. OP does not need to be involved is just kind of my take. Like she's on her own. If she has issues with any of this, she needs to talk to her partner about it. - I don't blame him though.

Maybe for having it on the Kindle. I say you go to Barnes & Noble, and you read it at the store, and then you go home, and then you never talk about it again, is maybe what I would do. - (laughs) I love going to Barnes & Noble. and reading erotica, just in the little corner. - People probably do it. People probably do it. - Absolutely, but I feel like. that's the most discreet way to do it. I just feel like I don't blame him for the curiosity. of just being like, what is this book. and what is it made up of? I don't know, I feel like truthfully I would want to know.

- So looking back, the ex-boyfriend did tell her, his new partner about this book. He informed her of it. - Even better. - And then she found it on his Kindle. So he did have it on his Kindle, but there's no saying he was like rereading it or whatever. We don't know. - Yeah, every night. - But if she was uncomfortable. with him even having it on his Kindle, like she could have talked to him about that, right? I mean, it's, that's, I don't know. I guess I'm a little unsure how I feel.

- I will say, I don't think. I've ever deleted a book from my Kindle. - That's also where I'm at. I'm like, there's like, I would be like, oh, it's, yeah, I don't know. - You can put a million books on there. Like I could totally see him like, oh, you know, the book came out. He bought a copy for his Kindle, and then it's just like, if it was in like the recently read like 37% through. - You read 50 times yesterday. - It's a little weird, but it's like, if there's just a book on the Kindle, I'm like, okay. - Yeah, it's tough, it's tough. I think I'm trying to like.

put myself directly in those shoes. 'cause it's also like from her angle too, you see the author's name, which is the ex. - The ex's name. - So you're also seeing that. And I feel like that's a bigger trigger to be like, oh my god, what is she doing on here? Like it's almost similar to that of like photos. or like a quick identifying variable. You know? - Yeah. - Didn't she say she wrote under an alias though? - I'm trying to find it, but I think she said she wrote under an alias. But either way, the new girl snooped a lot to find it.

- Wow. - Once again, you know, my view is like the insecurity, the feelings are all one thing, but the actions she took unfortunately put her in the wrong. You cannot chase someone down, you just can't. - You can't. - Well, there are situations. - You can't. - Well, unless it's laser tag. - Unless it's really important. - Unless it's laser tag. But you know, that's often a bad strategy. because you expose your back. - Ah, that's true.

- As you're chasing someone down, that's usually when you actually get, you know, taken down yourself. - Yeah, yeah, so. - Okay, OP left a little edit here. So it's a mini little update. First, thank you everyone for the replies. I made the post. when I was questioning my sanity over situation. and your comments brought me back down to earth. Some answers to questions. I don't know why he told her about that book. Since the post I've told him it's something. I would like to keep between the two of us. I feel like if anyone in my master's program finds out, I'll be taken much less seriously. If you're interested in self-publishing, try Amazon and do some reading about keywords.

There are tons of blogs on it. I won't be giving out the name of the book. as it gets very, very kinky. And this post has gotten a lot of views. I fear someone finding the story on other websites. on the off chance I made it. Hi, TikTok. And making the connection. Especially considering, I don't know. who else my ex has told. I have no idea how this girl keeps finding me. I'm on campus every time. So I assume it's just by chance. as she's in a master's program as well. Ooh, boy. - Okay, so that, that is also interesting,

the idea of her asking her ex. to just keep it between the two of them. - The two of them, and then he told. - Well, does that feel like something. you would have to tell your partner? Like, I don't know if I, like that feels like information you should share. - That's like a weird line, yeah, 'cause it's not. - I think it's a line. that I think a lot of people are gonna have. very strong lines on, and, once again, it's just a dilemma. I've never been faced with or considered.

So I'm sitting here like, I need to think on this, is truly my answer. I don't know if people are like that or not, but that's, I'm like what, how do I feel about a book being written? And then you need to like, you're asked to not share it. - Right. - 'Cause it's, I don't know. 'Cause I'm trying to think. of like other comparable like things in relationships, but this is like a publicly published book. - I think it's also. because he's still friends with the ex that wrote it.

I think if they had had a split or something. where they're like, hey, this is mutual, and they never spoke again, it would be, I think that there's a reasonable amount of like, him being like, okay, I'm just gonna forget that that happened. I know that that it's out there, like it's in the past. But because it's with an ex. that he is still friends with and talking to, I think I understand the idea. of him wanting to communicate that and be open about it. - I think so too, and I think you're right. I think some people are gonna be split on this, and they're gonna be like privacy first.

And you know, you don't have to share things like, maybe there's like some sort of middle ground of like, once you've been with somebody for a certain amount of time, then you can trust them with this information. and open up about it. I just feel like I'm going off of the notion that like, I feel like I over communicate in a relationship, and I'm just like, hey, like my ex texted today, and I just wanted to put that out there. Like just, so that nothing is, you know, like questioned at all. - Right, I agree with that. You know, like over communication I think is just better.

'Cause it's like, oh, you find out, if she did find out eventually, oh there's this book. Oh, and all of the details in it are real. And it's like very, very kinky, that's hard. The problem, the thing is all the actions. that this ex took were just so extreme. Sorry, so the ex-girlfriend who chased her down. and committed crimes, that is, how she handled this all is wrong. But I'm also, I cannot help but think if you found a book.

that is written about your current partner. in their previous relationship and it gets crazy and wild. I also understand a lot of people would just be like, what? Like this is hard. You just can't read that book. You cannot open up the book of secrets. Like if that's gonna be out there, and you're gonna tell your partner, like your partner has to be very secure in themselves. and the relationship because that's a lot.

- It it is, it's a complicated dilemma. I also just wanna acknowledge, I don't think. that the author was wrong in writing that either. Like I think that's totally fair to share your experiences, especially if it is in a way that keeps it vague. and doesn't reveal the identity. It just now has created this complication in the future. where like we haven't even discussed her future partners. Like when she eventually brings somebody in the picture,

and like I wrote this book about my ex. - And she's the one who like wrote it. Like she's the one who took the action. I think that's, yeah. Like that's the ultimate thing here is like, two adults who consented and agreed that we can write this, that she can write this, and he's fine with it. Like, hey, there's nothing wrong. with the writing and publishing of this book, and it's staying out there because he's continuing. to give her the consent for it to be out there. So, but this girl came into the picture. who really struggled with that. And unfortunately did not handle it.

- It must have been really fricking kinky. - I'm imagining all sorts of things, you know? - The imagination gone wild. - I'm actively imagining. - I think we need to cut. - Anyways, so. (group laughing). Alright, let's move on. I am so curious about people's perspectives on that one. Okay, our next story comes from am I the asshole. Am I the asshole for telling my wife. I won't be as stressed out next year. because I won't be married to her?

- Oh, no, I'm triggered. - That's a crazy title. - That is. - Oh, God. - That's crazy title. - That is some like Game of Thrones ass delivery. - Yeah, that's kinky. - I won't be stressed next year. because I won't be married to you. - Oh. - Whew. I, this is a 32-year-old man. I've been married to my wife Jen, 32-year-old woman, for a little over seven years now. Up until about two years ago, things were great. However, a disastrous move, a few family emergencies.

and a totaled car have left us. in a terrible financial situation. All our savings are pretty much gone. 401k is empty and we're hemorrhaging money. Before we bought our house two years ago, things were amazing financially. We made the mistake of buying a nice three bedroom house. because we planned on having kids. Those plans thankfully got put on the back burner. because adding a kid into this mess right now would kill us. It's not really a mystery why things are like this. Jen and I are both underpaid at our jobs. and we moved into a high cost of living area like morons.

Last December, I told Jen. one of two things needed to happen. We either sell the house or start making more money. The latter would most definitely mean finding new jobs. that would pay us a market rate. Jen pushed back on this. because she loved the house and her current job. I told her she had to choose one. and couldn't have it both ways. And after a week of arguing, she agreed we would look for new jobs. It's been almost six months now. Last Friday I signed an offer for a new job. It's over a $35,000 raise for me. Jen, however, has done nothing. In January, she asked for a raise in the market rate.

and was very disrespectfully told by her manager. that she was not worth that. She was shown the door to leave if she wasn't happy. Jen has taken this as her putting in the effort. and done nothing else, telling me we should wait. and see what happens with my job search. I'm not happy about this. When I came home Friday and told her I got the job, she got pissy because I clarified. this does not mean she can stay at her job. We fought again, and I told her that this would mean. we only stop hemorrhaging money on the house. We would be able to save only a little. and would still not be close to refilling our 401ks.

Kids, the whole reason. we got this damn house would be entirely off the table. We haven't talked much since then. Yesterday her parents visited for dinner. Despite my best efforts to keep them out of it, Jen announced my new job to her parents by saying, maybe I'll stop complaining about money once I start. I don't know why I said it, but I replied with, oh, don't worry Jen, I won't have to worry about money a year from now. because we'll be divorced by then. Things got quiet real quick after, and I excused myself. Her parents left shortly after,

and she slept on the couch to avoid talking to me. I've not talked to Jen or her parents since last night. Things are very cold between us right now, and I genuinely wonder if I did something last night. that probably ruined my marriage. - Are you kidding? - Come on, bro. - What? That one meme? - Oh, what my god, in front of her parents. - Okay, what'd I say? What I say? - Just women overreacting things.

- Just bring it in, baby. Let's go do the sex things. - There is so much. that I do not feel qualified to like, really? I'm like, you need to talk to a couple's therapist. These are like some, these are some real world issues. you guys are going through. But we can say that saying, don't worry, Jen, we'll be divorced by next year in front of her parents is. - Yeah. - Yeah. Man, you're you're getting a divorce. You just basically clicked.

- You signed it. - You're saying it as a joke. That is a terrible joke. It's like, if you're saying that, and he's that in earnest, like that's a terrible way to do it. But he's being honest, but the fact that he's like, ah, did I just ruin my marriage? Yikes, and he is like, come on, man. - Yeah, it's clear it was a moment. of him losing his temper and patience. In his head he was like, okay, like if she brings this up, like it's it's gonna really disrupt things for me.

That's not what I want. So he was kind of waiting for that at dinner. And then I think when she did that, then it was like, oh, and he just said something. I'm sure he didn't mean it, but that still doesn't mean you're gonna be excused. from the consequences. Like you say something so hurtful. and your audience is your wife of seven years. and her parents, like that. It's just incredibly irresponsible, irresponsible to be saying that stuff, like so hurtful. - We've read so many stories and at this point,

and I've also heard so many from people. I'm kind of getting the view now. of when someone threatens a breakup or divorce. or like holds that over someone's head, I'm like, no. Then you're getting a, you're breaking up or you're getting a divorce. You don't, don't do that. That's such a like mean power play. Like if you're saying, that you can't be surprised. when your partner takes it as serious. - Yeah, like no bluffing, you can't threaten that. - That's what he's now kind of like, oh, did I say something? I was like, you said you're getting a divorce.

That's what you just said in front of her parents. So if you don't, you now have to actually explain that more. - Yeah, like have fun. being like ever accepted in that family, you know? Like the parents are truly never going to be like, oh, yeah, we love our son-in-law. Like, what? - Yeah, this reminds me, I listen to a podcast. called "Where Should We Begin With Esther Perel,". and it's a couple's therapist, and it's really fascinating,

and this reminds me of the type of stuff. It's marriages where it's been, the resentment has built to levels. that are just unbelievable. And it's a matter of like, you have to unravel so much further back, because I'm like, it, this is about the money, but this is also, there are cracks. that I'm sure started in this relationship forever ago. Like to let, to allow resentment to build to this level. means you are not communicating on so many levels. It's really sad. Like it makes me sad to see this with people.

- Yeah, the disconnect, I feel like I really see here is with, you know, the practicality of their financial situation. Now getting in the way. of them kind of understanding each other, because what he's asking her to do, right? Let go of this job that she loves and she really wants, but he's like, hey, we can't, like financially this is what I need from you. And she's almost like reluctant to do so. She's really wanting to keep this job.

So I'm sure she feels misunderstood by her husband, and he is like, it's not about that. We just literally need money, and that's all that I can think about. So it seems like almost like just two different brains. that are clashing together. And that's where that resentment comes from, because now it's manifesting in them being like, you don't understand like the financial situation, and you don't understand how much I love my job. Like we're not on the same page anymore. - Right. - Yeah, I feel like there's obvious, like he got a big raise.

and from what he said, it's like, hey, like we're steady now. Like he is like, we're not being able to save as much. or put as much as we want into a 401k. But I feel like if I'm in that situation, it's like, okay, like we can take a breath of fresh air. and like they can wait a bit. and then maybe have a conversation again about like, okay. 'Cause she said like, hey, like let's maybe see where it goes with my job. And like, I think it's very reasonable to be like, okay, like we'll give it a few months, give it however long, and if it still is a position. where we need to be making more money. or we'd like to be making more money.

and that's not gonna happen, then they can have that conversation again, versus him being very snarky. And like, hey, I got my raise. But that doesn't mean that you can like, you know, stop looking. - Right, she should write an erotica novel. to make some extra money every month. - That's totally what's necessary. - It could happen. - You know, I'm a very privileged person in this aspect, but like the job market. from everything I've heard is just awful, right? So the the idea of like, hey, quit your job. and find a better one is like, alright, let's go buy some lottery tickets as well.

Like, dude, that's a tough ask. - I mean, and let's point that out too, right? The underlying misogyny in all of this. of him being able to get an extra 35K a year. and her being told to her face that she's not valuable. - Yeah, I mean, what the also the huge thing we're missing, I don't think he said what their jobs are. or what fields they're in, but that's a huge aspect too. Like depending on the job field you're in, like getting a new job might not be as,

there's a lot of variables I feel like. that are going on here. They're just not sounding like a team. They are very much opponents, which, you know, finances are so stressful like that. If there's anything that makes or breaks so many couples, it's finances, I understand that, 'cause it's a nightmare world out there, but they have to be on each other's side, and that's what's happening is they're just. completely facing each other. - And like, I feel like the risk. of her potentially leaving a job that she really loves. to maybe get paid a little bit more money. but be in a potentially like miserable situation.

or a thing that she doesn't love. Like I would never want that for my partner. I would never want someone to put themselves. in a worse position where they're less happy. I mean, it's your job, it's how you're spending so much of your time, you know, your 40 hours a week. Like if that's something that you're not loving doing, that's not gonna help. You have more money, but that's not gonna help the relationship. - I think she was in the wrong for like, you know, in front of her parents being like, oh, he'll stop complaining about money. He just took it, you know, it's like, okay.

And it's, that wasn't nice of her at all. But you then ended the relationship. - Yeah, yeah, and again, like I think the real challenging part of this, I think a lot of people are going to also have this insight. of like, you don't really know a money situation. until you're in it, you know? When you're struggling with money and when you are like, like financially just like not successful.

and not feeling good. Like I do also see that from a lot of people being like, it doesn't matter, and it is gonna help, and whatever we can do. And if they did have kids, which it's a blessing that they don't, like that just adds to the stress of like, that is the number one priority. So I do also see that side of it just being like, nothing else matters. if we literally cannot put food on our plate, have a roof above our heads and stuff like that. It's just the fact. that they aren't able to communicate about it.

and let each other in on that perspective. They're instead just holding on to those observations. on their own and then letting it build up, and it's causing this fight between the two of them. - Yeah, look, there's a lot, as I said, there's a lot going on in this story that I am not qualified. to like make a decision or call on, but he was asking if he's the asshole. for saying what he said at dinner, and yes he is. - Yes. - And the verdict was asshole. Comments, you know how firearms experts tell people,

don't put your finger on the trigger. unless you intend to fire. Yeah, don't say the D word. unless you're prepared to get deed real hard. Talk about a real erotic novel there. - Yeah, seriously, gotta go get deed hard. - Someone else said, I don't know why you're so worried. if you were wrong or not, you'll be divorced a year from now. (Trevor laughs). Someone said, I'm sorry, did you say, I genuinely wonder if I did something last night. that probably ruined my marriage. You told your wife you will be divorcing her within the year. in front of her parents. If you can come back from that, it is going to be a long and hard road.

You have a right to be angry about everything going on, even a right to divorce her. But if you wanted to repair the marriage at all, that wasn't the way to do it. Update. - Whoa. - She gets deed. - First sentence, yeah, I messed up. (Trevor laughs). People are rightfully tearing into me. for wondering if this marriage didn't end. when those words came from my mouth. I went to Jen last night to talk. and she refused to even say a word to me. She ended up blocking herself in our bedroom. and finally told me to go away.

I'm scheduling some consultations. with divorce attorneys today. Some people are asking about car accidents. and family emergencies, mostly blaming me for them. The car was neither of our faults. An uninsured driver hit my wife's fully paid off car. Insurance gave us peanuts. The family emergencies were a handful of things. that were just unluckily close to each other. I don't think you can really assign blame. to these kinds of things. People will probably say I'm covering my ass or something. and still blame me. Whatever. The big (beep) up was the house, which I was 50% responsible for. Before I wrote this post,

I probably should have admitted to myself. that I spoke my feelings at dinner and got my wish. All right. - Wow. - Well, at least he had his moment of clarity. and didn't double down on being like, no, like I don't understand why she's overreacting. - Right, I never said that. even though I typed up this post and admitted it. - And I rewrote the statement. and didn't see how (beep) up it was. - Right, and still wrote, so what happened? - It is unfortunate like financial things like that, they do happen, and they can be no one's fault.

And it's like, it's hard, and the most important thing is that you take it on together. and you communicate about it. Like, God, I mean, Raven and I, Oseto our dog got attacked. and like almost got killed by another dog. - Oh my god. - And we had like, and this was months ago, we had some crazy vet bills. that like we weren't prepared for. Like, that's like, it was an expensive thing, and it was hard, but it was like, okay, we're just gonna like, we're gonna come at this together. We're gonna figure it out, we're gonna plan for it. And it's a hard thing to do, but yeah.

You just have to be on the same team. - Because these situations are so frustrating. They're so infuriating, and they're unfair, and it's easy to allow those emotions to like redirect. to the people that are closest to you. I feel like that's honestly, they're often the first targets. But it takes a lot, and it's so important in those moments. to be like, okay, wait, like this isn't about, we're not against each other. We are the only people who are on each other's sides.

Because for every story like this, I also hear the stories where something tragic happens. and it like brings people closer, but that's not like an immediate instinctive thing, I think. I think people really have to like work hard on that. - Yeah, how frightening too. that like just one year things can be so up and positive. and life is amazing, and then all of these like, unfortunate things can happen to your partner, your life, and it almost just shatters. Like that I think is the scariest part. - I know.

It is scary, and it's why it's so important to like. take those moments to self-reflect like every day. even when things are good because like you need to like. know where you stand with yourself. and like the people closest to you. so that when unfortunately tragedy does strike, you're like, I don't know, ready for it. You're never ready for it. - But prepared in a way of just like knowing. who you're gonna have your support from and with, and be able to not hopefully like, you know, self-sabotage.

- Sure. I think that the very baseline lesson here is, yeah, don't use the D word unless you mean it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - If you say we're getting a divorce, you're getting a divorce. You don't get to backtrack on that one. - No, and if the parents are there, you might as well pack up that night. - Yeah, bro. Like, come on man. All right, our next story. This comes from relationship advice. This is a 25-year-old man.

I think that my wife, who's 23, thinks that I murdered her ex. - Also hot. (group laughing). - About a month ago while out shopping, my wife and I ran into her high school boyfriend. and his mom on the street. It was a slightly awkward encounter. His mom made a comment. about how good they look standing next to each other. like it was meant to be. We said we were in a bit of a hurry, and as we were walking away, he said something along the lines of,

hey, we should grab coffee sometime. I didn't think too much of it at the moment. Sure, his mom was awkward, but they'd been broken up for about seven years. And I do think he meant it just to be friendly. But still, we had a quick check-in. after we both agreed it was awkward. and that I wasn't too upset. and that I wouldn't even necessarily mind them. meeting for coffee provided that if it became clear. he still has feelings or was making advances, she'd cut him out. She wasn't even sure she'd want to take him up on it. So it was purely hypothetical. That evening, I met up with some friends for drinks.

and was home at 1:00 AM. The next morning, my wife got a message from her friend. that her ex died that night. We got a few more details over the next couple days, but it seemed he suffered from epilepsy, and that night in a freak accident, had a seizure fell and fatally hit his head. As far as I know, there's no foul play suspected. or criminal investigation or anything like that. In the weeks since she started acting really strange. She hasn't been abnormally sad that he died, but more like cautious and fearful around me.

She hasn't made any kind of direct accusation, but has been asking me a lot of questions. about where I went drinking with my friends, who I was with, what time each person arrived and left, et cetera. She's lately mentioned that she wanted to spend some time. with a friend to catch up for about a week. I don't know how to address this. It feels crazy to have to ask her. whether she thinks I murdered him. or to have to tell her that I didn't. I'm afraid to even bring it up. and whether that would just feed. into whatever she seems to be going through. Any thoughts on how to deal with this?

For the record, I didn't murder her ex. - Oh my god. - What an insane, unfortunate, like really tragic coincidence, like that. - Yeah, scary town. - Oh my god. - I know. We literally heard like two sentences about this ex, but then you telling us that he died, like I feel like I knew him. - It's so intense. - It's insanely intense. - I, oh man, whoa.

- Literally, I have no clue what you do. As OP in this situation, I have no clue how you bring that up. in like an earnest like way to be like, hey, do you think that I murdered your ex? - Or just like I had something to do with it. Like, you know? - I guess my head is going to, you know, he knows she's acting distant. She's asking a lot of like random questions and things. I don't think he needs to come, if I'm him, if I'm in this situation, wild situation.

Absolutely wild situation, lemme be clear. Once again, situation I've never thought of before. If I'm in this situation, I would probably not go up. and be like, hey, do you think I murdered your ex? It's like, 'cause I don't know. what level of grief she's going through, right? Because like, this is an ex from seven years past, but like grief hits people so differently. How they react is so different. 'Cause it's like one of, it's one of the hardest things anyone can deal with.

But I would, I do think he can go up and be like, hey, you've been, I've been feeling distant. You've been seeming distant. I know you're going through a lot, probably like what's going through your head? Like, can we talk? Like, do you, do you, would you be willing to share what you're feeling, what you're thinking right now? Because he's jumping to this like she's, and look, her questions are making me think it too. - Yeah. - Fair. But, you know, there are people who professionally investigate these things.

and they have determined. that what happened is what happened. So he's not in any legal trouble. But he's not a suspect 'cause he was literally not there. There's probably plenty of alibis that he's not. It's ridiculous that I'm even considering like that. There's also the aspect of they ran into her ex. He was like, hey, do you wanna grab coffee sometime? Yeah, they talked about it. and seemed like a good convo after that.

But then that night he went out with friends. and was out till 1:00 AM. She could also be asking questions 'cause she's like, hey, did you go mess around? Did you cheat on me? What was going on that night? That is also a possibility. I mean, I don't know. But we don't know because he hasn't talked to her. - I mean, you're right. that grief is gonna be different for everybody, and maybe for her in a way she's weirdly coping.

by having this like hypothesis. that it could be her current boyfriend. Like that could be almost a way. in which she's kind of dealing with it. Or I guess not dealing with it. because she's just like freaked out. that it has to do with her in some way. - Right. - Yeah, I could see like, I mean, that's gotta be a really jarring thing. to go back to something from seven years ago, to be transported back in time essentially. And seeing this person be like, oh my god.

Like a former ex potentially like. wanting to like reconnect with this person in a way. and then having that like really jarring, tragic event. Like I could see how for her. that could just be like a mortality. Like what if that happened to me? Like what if I'm the person? Like someone that I knew and that I just saw died. Like that's gotta be a really shocking and scary thing. And so maybe it is just like a weird, like you said, like a weird grief like coping thing. She could just be in a really weird head space about it. - She could just be going through like,

I mean, rightfully so. Like a bit of an existential crisis there. of just like, wait, what? Oh my god, how quickly that happened to him. - Totally. And that happened to someone else that I love. - Just rethinking everything and everyone in her life, and also the way that he described. that specific interaction, all of it is kind of really trippy too. Like the mom very inappropriately being like, you guys look so good together. Like that also is just such a like mind (beep). to be like, I just like, you know,

was I just saw these people, I just was like almost transported back. into the relationship and the connection. that we had all these years ago. I did it in front of my current partner, and then that same night all of this happened. Like, yeah, I guess I would also just be constantly like. overthinking those moments, and anything could almost theorize for you there. - Absolutely. - Yeah. - We have a couple comments. You don't need to ask her that. You need to ask her. why her demeanor towards you has changed, communicate.

Someone else said, to be fair, it's a wild conclusion that OP has jumped to. Maybe her questions aren't related to that at all. It's more likely that she thinks he cheated on his night out. than him offing her ex. Someone lastly said, sometimes the death. of someone from your past can have a really odd effect. I recently lost someone I used to work closely with, and it's hit me oddly hard. He was connected to a very happy period of my life. with my group of friends. And it's like it put a cloud over those fond memories. Yeah, I mean, I am once again a very lucky person.

that I've not dealt with a ton of grief in my life. I mean, I have, but not nothing. of like a tragic nature of this sort, thankfully. But I mean, I feel like this could do. so many things to different people. It could really throw you through a loop. like you were saying. - Yeah, that comment too, like made me think as well. of like maybe her distance has to do like. with something entirely different. from those options as well of like,

maybe she just was like, oh, what if he and I never broke up? And what if we were still together. Because of that comment that his mom made. of us being so good together. Like maybe that could have been a different life. that I could live. And that's why she's also like, I don't know what life I'm living right now. It really might not have to do with the murder. - There's so much to process 'cause there's, you know, there's such a finality to all of it, and that really makes you just think in so many ways. that you never think before. I'm not the one to give advice to this person, but like, if I'm him, and I'm putting myself in his shoes,

I think the only thing he can do is like be there for her. Communicate to her that he, like he's here to listen, and like ask her like if he wants to ask her like, hey, I've been feeling like there's distance, and then just patience. 'Cause I think it's only been a couple weeks. It's like it's probably gonna take her some time. to like figure this out in her own head. - Yeah. - But. - I mean if this escalates, and she does accuse you of murdering him, then that's on the table. But that hasn't happened quite yet.

- It's like update, guys. I actually did murder him. - Psych, I did. - You got me. - I got super drunk, it was my bad. - And okay for clarification, I did do it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, for the record. - For the record. - I lied. - Wow. That is wild. - That's crazy. - It's time for our final story. This comes from a few years ago. Ex reaching out after 10 years. I'm at a loss for what to answer with.

Whoa. - What did you say? - An ex from the past. - Be like, hey, I actually still have your jacket. if you wanted it back. (group laughing). - Throw away account. because this needs to stay secret for now. I, call me Anthony, 32 years old, have been with my current girlfriend, let's call her Michelle, 33 years old, for four years. No plans of marriage, and one time she cheated on me, drunk mistake, blah blah blah. Whatever, I forgave her. We are pretty much best friends. that do everything together and live together.

Other than the one instance of cheating, we have had no major issues and live a pretty good life. She does not want marriage or kids. I do though. It's a hard no for her. Recently my ex, call her Nicole, 32 years old, contacted me over a promise we made back when we broke up. When and if we were both not married by 32, we would find a way to be together. Some backstory on her and I. Childhood friends, started dating in middle school, dated through high school. She was accepted to her dream college and so was I. on opposite ends of the country. Virginia Tech for her and Stanford for me.

We did long-term for two years. until deciding to let each other live their life. and be more connected to maybe someone closer. if it was going to happen. This was a mutual decision, and we broke up contact at that point. so that we could move on. Her parents still talked to me on occasion. Live four hours away. Same with my sister, 20 minutes away, and her grandparents two hours away, but never about her per my request. So flash forward, I have been getting calls from a weird number. once every month since September and just didn't answer. because I don't answer numbers I don't know.

Figure if important, they would leave a message. Ex's sister comes by and says, hey, this is from Nicole. She said, you can read it and respond if you want. and if not then she will understand soon enough. For the life of me, I had forgotten our weird promise. But the letter goes as this. Hey Anthony, I know neither of us have been in contact. in the last 10 years, but I'm asking if you still remember the promise we made. I have no right to ask of it. And if you have moved on, then it's okay. as I want you to be happy. First and foremost, I want you to know. this isn't a desperation attempt because I'm lonely.

My sister was quite keen on giving that. as the probable reason as to why I've been feeling this way. and why I am bringing up that old promise. This is more along the lines of, I just can't imagine my life with anyone else. I, yes, have been on many dates. and had one relationship that lasts over a year, but there was always this lack of feeling in me. that, well, in all honesty, they weren't you. You're the guy I knew instantly when we were young. that I would wanna be with forever. The guy who made me smile that I could wake up next to.

and was genuinely happy knowing that we were together. In my mind, you Anthony, have been my only want and desire. That day we decided to try and move on. because of the distance. I won't lie, it took me about a year. to realize how stupid that was. It was mutual, but my feelings are that I pushed you towards it. I honestly feel like the first suggestion of giving time. to each other to finish school and not have to try. and coordinate our lives was the stupidest mistake. I could ever have made. Anthony, you are my soulmate, my love, my life, and that is why what comes next I say with all fear aside.

I am ready to leave everything and find a new job. to move back to Candyland and be with you. I am, there was parenthesis, Candyland, because it's not giving the address. I'm fully prepared to do this. if you even think there can be a chance of us again. And this is all caps, I love you. I love you, and nobody else will ever take the place. you have in my heart. I talked to my parents and friends. They're in full support of this. Also, thank you so much for being there for my parents. when they needed help moving. and working on dad's bike and truck. I had no idea until a few days ago.

I'll be fully committed to being yours. I want to be part of your life. and want you to be in mind forever, growing old, seeing the world change the lives we live together as one. And most importantly, I just want us to be happy. I've wasted enough time holding back. what I have wanted to say for the last few years. Anthony, I love you so much. I want to live my life with you. I'm prepared to leave it all for you. And lastly, my love, my childhood friend, my soulmate, I'm more than prepared to be your wife. and be the mother to our children. If I don't hear back by the end of the month, I will assume you have moved on for the better.

and will do my best to not reach out again. If you do decide otherwise, I have left my number and email. Love, insert nickname from childhood, Nicole. To be honest, I don't know if I should respond. or what I should do. She left her number, one that has been calling me. and her email. I'm conflicted a lot really. I literally cried when I read the letter, and it brought back a lot of emotions. that I didn't think were still there. Since Michelle, Nicole and I all went. to the same high school, they both know each other, and I'm honestly afraid Michelle will tell me.

to go be with her without a second thought. if I told her about Nicole reaching out, only just knowing how she is as a person. I've been debating it since getting the letter yesterday, and since I always see good advice here, I thought to ask the Reddit family. If this isn't the right subreddit, I can repost somewhere else and apologize if so. - Wow, that's a lot. - These are some crazy stories today, man. - Okay, okay. - This is insane. - This is how I'm gonna make it lighthearted.

It's a metaphor, right? Because Anthony left and Michelle is like his channel, and Nicole is Ian reaching out and being like, Anthony, I love you. - So right. - Layers, layers. - Or it's kinda like Ian, that's Rhett and Link. Ian is Anthony in this story, and he left, and that's, he's with Rhett and Link now, or no, Ian's with-. - Then Anthony reached out. - And then Anthony comes back, he's like, hey, I want you back. And Ian's like, all right. - Yeah, the updates just, we bought Smosh. - And Rhett and Link cheated on Ian.

- And the parents are like the Try Guys or something. (group laughing). They just hang out occasionally. - So we solved it, that's your answer. - So we solved it, and we figured it out. - Wow. - What a whirlwind. - This is really, this is really a lot. - That is so, I mean, that's just the plot of like a crazy rom-com. It's like this is so, what do you do? - I have heard of people making these types of deals.

- Yeah, the backups, isn't it? - I mean, yeah, I guess it's phrased as that. I've heard of it happening. I've heard of people reaching that age. and then talking to each other and being like, ah, but we're both, or one of us is married, or one of us is like, but it's not as serious. This is like wild. - Yeah, yeah. - To not talk for 10 years and to write that letter, to be feeling that much. I mean, I don't even remember. what was happening 10 years ago. I don't have any memories from 10 years ago, I don't know.

- I wasn't born yet, but. I feel like the layer that was kind of surprising. to me was at the end when he said Michelle, his current partner- - They all know each other. - They all know each other and she would be okay with it. - Or that he says, I'm getting the sense that based on, he's like saying who Michelle is. If I told her about this letter, Michelle would just be like, we'll go be with her. Now I might be inferring too much there, but that's, he said like,

I'm honestly afraid Michelle will tell me to go be with her. without a second thought. if I told her about Nicole reaching out, only just knowing how she is as a person. This can be interpreted so many ways, 'cause he is like, he'll tell me to go be with her. without a second thought. It could be that Michelle saw them dating in high school. and was like, oh, that's for sure. I mean, let's circle back. to he's addressed at the beginning. Like, oh, Michelle and I are not aligned on kids. That's a hard line for her. She does not want kids. I don't think she wants to get married, but he does. - He wants those things. - I'm like, so you know.

that like this, like you guys have very different ideas. She's not gonna have kids, like that's her choice. And she's sticking with that. - We don't have to go too much further into this. if we don't want to, but I also, obviously we have to point out. that Michelle did cheat on him as well. - Yeah. - I can't say that I necessarily support the idea. of being like, oh, you know, we're super happy together. except for this one time she cheated on me, but we're fine. - Like it's like a huge caveat.

It's like, okay, man. - And that's obviously, you know, we don't know all of the context, and he has described it as drunken night, was a mistake, one time, blah, blah blah. But those are very loaded, blah blah blahs. There's definitely a lot there. And also you don't just cheat on your partner. There had to have been a lot going on. There was definitely a lot of recovery on the other end. So it seems like just from reading this story, the obvious, I feel like takeaway is that the audience is going to root.

for Anthony and Nicole to come together and be like, this is something that makes sense. And they separated also, not out of conflict, but just because of circumstances. This is the classic, let them go, if you love them, if you come back together, that kind of thing. And she's shooting her shot. She's being pretty respectful about it, I think. - He's writing this Reddit post after he read that letter, and he starts it off by talking about.

how he and his current partner, how she cheated on him. And also they're not aligned on huge things. I'm like, I feel like you've made the decision already. - That's a great point. - I feel like the story you're telling us, you really are considering this heavily. - And it's clear. that he's also like still very connected to Nicole. Like even though he set a boundary, which is like, I'm still like, I care about your parents and your family. and like I want to see them,

but I don't want them to talk to me about you, like that is a boundary that he set. But he's still seeing her parents. and sister on a regular basis. And I don't believe that Michelle didn't know about that. You know, that's like something that's secret from her. Like I'm sure Michelle knows like, oh yeah, he's still like, you know, with his ex or like sees her family, and she's probably comfortable and fine with that. - Or maybe that's what spurred the cheating. - That's crazy. That's a crazy layer, it could be. But yeah, I don't know. I think so that's why, yeah, when she said like,

or when he said that she probably just told me to go do it. Like that's why I interpreted is like, she probably would hear that and be like, yeah, that makes sense. Like you should go do that. - Yeah, yeah, and he said. he was like tearing up reading it and stuff. There's a connection. Maybe he's just to your point, writing this. to make himself almost feel okay about doing it. Kind of trying to seek permission a little bit. and being like is this okay if I pursue this? 'Cause I agree, I think it is what he clearly wants.

- I think I'm a little biased right now. because reading this story, he's giving us the full backstory, and in all of this it's very sweet and touching. Nicole did write this letter. not knowing anything about his current relationship. unless the parents or anyone is like communicating to her. about his current relationship. And be like, oh, that's not, they're not aligned on things. She cheated on him if they know that. But like we have this situation where he's in a relationship. where she cheated on him, and they're not aligned on. where they're going in the future. What if there the situation was different,

and he was married happily with kids, but I don't know, we can, I guess we can play those hypotheticals. Like this is, in this current context, it seems sweet and everything to me, but. - Yeah, but is it fair to send a letter to an ex. that you have not spoken to in a decade, and could possibly like mess with their feelings? Like, yeah, and in a way, it could also be a negative impact.

- To be like, you're my soulmate. You're my soulmate, all these things, it is. I was surprised when it got to that point instead of like, hey, like would you wanna meet up and like see. if this is something, it's been 10 years. People are not the same person after 10 years. - Totally, this is is a full declaration. - So she's in love. 'Cause as far as we know for Nicole, she's in love with who he was 10 years ago. - They could meet up and be different people. and it could not work. - I'm curious if she also, or if he asked like the parents like,

please don't talk to me or talk about me to your daughter, or if like she, when talking to her parents, if they were kind of be like giving, giving her updates on hand or something like that. - Yeah, I feel like they had to have at least, at least the like basis of like, hey, I was thinking about reaching out to him. Do you know if he's seeing anyone? Like I feel like there had to have been that communication. But you're right, we don't know. - It was bold regardless. I mean, to know he's in a relationship. and to send the letter, to be like, I'm willing to drop everything and go be with you.

Like there are a lot of versions of that. where I think it would, you're absolutely the shitty person. But with the, we are getting this story. There's comments here. Someone said you only have one life. and your current relationship is not going anywhere. So take the shot. Someone else said, you have only one life to live. You need to ask yourself what you really want out of it. Your current girlfriend does not want what you want. The ex is calling in on a promise made long ago. I'd go have a sit down with the ex first. to see if she's being really serious about this, as in, is this what she really wants for herself?

Then go through everything yourself. and decide where you wanna be in 10 years. If you want to be a dad by them, ask yourself, who do you see becoming a parent with? Honestly, you don't have much to lose. from your current girlfriend at this point. when it comes to what you want in life. What do you have to lose meeting the ex? Not much at this point. Just go and see what happens. Someone said, I wouldn't go for either of them. Michelle doesn't want what you want. Nicole is looking for some nostalgic fantasy man. that hasn't existed for 10 years. You deserve better than both. Someone said holy shit balls.

I feel like I'm watching a lifetime movie. except with a male protagonist. Bear in mind though, she may not be the same person she was 10 years ago. You guys may not be as compatible as before. I have no advice, but I want an update please. I think what's I'm struggling with is. I'm reading this as a story, and it is coming across to me, I'm reading it as a fiction. And I'm like, in real life if this really happened to me, my feelings would be so much more mixed. And if this happened to someone I know, this. So I'm like, anyways, enough of that.

Update. - Yes! - Update please. - Yes! - One day later. - Whoa. I talked to my current girlfriend first. We had a big talk that was the last six hours we were hiking. about what we were both wanting in the future. She made it clear that kids and adoption are out of her plan. and suggested that we should just be friends. if that's what I truly want in the future. I told her that I would still be friends with her. no matter what since all the things we do together. And she laughed and said no kids. And I keep my best friend. who loves to do the same things I do.

Cha-ching, it's all good. Rather we both be happy in the long run. Don't feel too bad or think this is a mistake. But if it's something I wanna pursue. because of the history we had, then she has no ill feelings towards me going that route. Also said, if it doesn't work out, then I can always go back to plan no kids and freedom. Thank me for bringing it up to her. Then in her typical fashion, joked about me going to be blue balled for a while. The rest of the hike was pretty much us. talking like we normally do, then debating lunch. When we got to the trailhead,

I asked if she wanted any alone time or not. She said no, and that she eventually thought this would happen. as we got older. Asked me if we can still do the friend stuff. until something else happens in our lives. And I told her, yes, of course. She said no harm in that then. And that was that. We're at the mall for her girl's lunch. And I'm sitting at the table like a weirdo, ha. Yeah, until I call up the ex and see what she is like, that is it for now. Update number two. - Woo! - Two years later. - Whoa, what? - He waited two years.

- We got a one day and then a two year. - Two years later, he is like, okay. I finally, he's like took me a long time to read it but. - Or he is like finally got back into my Reddit account. - We shortened this update for time, just so you know. He writes, good evening, Redditors. A while back, 2019, I posted here in relationship advice. about an ex that reached out after a decade. Recently I was messaged by a few different people. asking for an update. Whether you three had been refreshing the page since then. or it just randomly showed up in your searches,

I wanted to post up the conclusion of what happened, what is still happening, and the future since the post was made. After Michelle and I ended our relationship, kind of, nothing changed aside from living together and sex. Nicole and I started to make plans. for when she came out here for her grandma's birthday. Talking on the phone a lot, emails back and forth. We decided on waiting to video chat or send pics to another. since it wasn't too far off when she would be visiting. And we thought it would be a good surprise. The initial hello was awkward as hell. When she got out of the terminal,

I recognized her right off the bat. and was amazed that she pretty much looked exactly the same. as when I last remembered. I had seen pictures at her sisters and parents, but I was floored at how much she hadn't changed. in the last 10 years. Getting into the car, we kind of just stared at one another for a minute, and she started off with the, well, if you don't drive anywhere, people are going to start honking, smart guy. That started our week-long catching up journey. We first went to get some food and decided on pizza. Oh, yeah, he writes. - Ew. (group laughing). - Dude, the guy is the Kool-Aid man.

- Oh, yeah! - OP is the Kool-Aid man. - And it was pretty easy going from that moment on. We shared stories of what life has been like, showed off scars, looked at each other's trips. and vacations, shared each other's hobbies. She asked about our old group of friends. and who's still around, et cetera. That small first meeting changed everything. in life for both of us. I won't go into specifics or minor details. on the following dates and days, but to say that week went by. in a heartbeat is an understatement. Four months go by of back and forth traveling on weekends,

always on the phone. And by that point I feel like it's time. I asked her if she wants to move in with me. Immediately said yes. And we made our last vacation weekend to a road trip. to bring her up to where I live. Our dogs got along, and she was able to transfer. to a new department based pretty close to where we lived. It was a dream coming true, and it too went by so fast. that honestly it feels like it was yesterday. She actually asked me to marry her a few months later. and I of course said yes. She had glow in the dark rock set up to ask me in our yard. when we went up to the deck to watch the stars. I feel like I'm going on a rant here.

So much for not every detail. Right? Ha ha ha ha ha. Well, it's been close to a couple years now. since everything started. We have a beautiful daughter together, Ariana, adopted. We had issues. She wouldn't be able to give birth. Our dogs are jerks and douches. Michelle and Nicole have met, and we are all friends again. They actually hang out a lot together. She has moved on, and we still do a lot. of our favorite hobbies together as a group or separately. With COVID and us being at home nonstop together, it's been just fine. Were things perfect? No, but nothing ever is.

We had our issues in the beginning. and still squabble over stupid things at times. To everyone that was part of the initial journey, I hope you've enjoyed this follow-up. This was the best decision, and my only regret is that. we didn't reconcile our relationship earlier. This has gone by in a flash, and honestly I can't wait to see. what the future holds for us. Each day is refreshing and a smile rarely leaves my face. I get to spend my life with not only my first love. and childhood friend, but also with great friends. and family that are always there for both of us. - Dude, the happiest ending. - Well, that worked out.

- The happiest ending possible. - Wow, I'm so happy for them. - I'm very happy too 'cause that that could have gone. a lot of different directions. - Right, I feel like when you see this, like that move kind of being made. or even just like that thought. of like reconnecting with an ex, it's like, it's always like they're at the wedding already, and you're like, do I say something? And it's like, no, I should let them be happy, you know? And it's like that's a whole nother movie on its own. But this couldn't have worked out better. The fact that they're all three together, and there's a baby. - Yeah, yeah. And they have a daughter.

It's awesome. I'm very happy for them. - Wow. - Me too, very happy for them. - That is a great ending there. - Yeah. - Well, this has been a journey today. - Yeah. - Thank you both for being here. - Xs and Os. - Xs and Os. What do the Os stand for? - XO, kisses, right? - X kisses and hugs, I think. - I think the Os are hugs. - The Os are hugs. So you have to kiss me and have to hug Arasha. - No. (group laughing)? Okay.

- No, no, no, you say hugs and kisses and you say X and Os. So Xs are hugs, and Os are kisses. - Okay, in the comments below, let's settle this. Are the Xs kisses, are the Os kisses? And which ones are the hugs? I always, I think I always took the Os as hugs. - But you say X first when you say hugs and kisses. You know? XOXO. - I think you should kiss and hug me just to be safe. - Where is my kiss at? - Guys? (group laughing).

Let us know what other subreddit and themes. you'd like us to do on this show, and we will see you next Saturday. Goodbye. - Bye! - Bye!