They Think They Deserve This | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hello and welcome to Smosh Read's Reddit Stories. I'm Shane and today's theme is entitled, entitled people. And I am joined today by two people who are entitled. to a lot of money from a lawsuit. - Let's watch this. - Can you turn it up a little? - Yeah, let's watch this tonight. - Turn it up just a touch. Like the saturations down. Can you pop that a bit? - Yeah. Wait, I've seen this guy before. - Thanks, honey. - Just changed the channel. Just goes to Smosh games. (all laughing). - I'm good. - I'm here with Tommy and Arasha. Hello.

- It's so comfortable right here. - I have a comfortable shoulder. What can I say? - I really don't wanna leave, but I'm going to. - Good. - Sorry. Good? - No, I didn't mean it. - Wow. - Entitled People are everywhere and they suck. - I think it's actually one of my pet peeves. - Really entitled people. - Yeah. I mean, I feel like I, the way I think, I actually want to draw this in with a recent example. I think we were just talking about this. When you sit in the wrong seat in the movie theater.

- Yes. - And you don't move when somebody calls you out. - Oh, you have to move. - You have to move. I just recently went, there were two people in my seat. There were two people in me and Fabian seats. And we were like, excuse me, those are our seats. And they went, yep, those are our seats. - They're like, yeah, but they're ours now. The amount of times that I reserve seats. at a movie theater and I go. and someone is in that seat, I think it happens more than 50% of the time. - I hate it. - It's wild.

- Yeah. - And my problem is that. I'm sometimes the opposite of entitled. where I show up in there in my seat. and I'm like, well, I guess they got it. - Forget it. I'll go get dinner. - And then I go and I sit just somewhere else and then I... - Now you're the guy in someone else seat. - But there's nothing more. that gives you more anxiety than when you're, you know you're not sitting in your seat. and you're waiting for the movie to start. And I'm like, okay, the trailers are going. I should be good. But I'm always amazed at how late. some people show up to a movie. - Exactly. - They'll show up 15 minutes.

into the movie. - I have friends that show up. They're like, they're like, oh, the movie, it's like the movie at 9:00 PM AMC. and they're like, we'll leave around 9:30. And I'm like, we'll leave around 9:30? - I don't get it. 'Cause tickets are like 50 bucks nowadays. - I know. - Well, not if you have the AMC pass. - So they're just, they don't care. They're going to hang out. - I'm spending 35. and I'm missing the beginning of the exposition. - I will be leaving at 9:30. Thank you. That will be me. I would do that. - Really? - There are like 35 minutes of trailers.

- There's a lot of trailers. But don't you hate it when you miss. like the first five minutes of a movie? Sometimes it's the most important part. - Yeah. - No, no. Yes. I will get there on time. - And I like sitting and being ready. and not having to think. - It is nice. - I'm sitting around on my phone. and being like, oh, I'm already at the part. - Yes. Yeah. But it's the people that take the seats. that are entitled and I'm done with them. - Okay. Okay. - They do it on airplanes too. - [Shane] They do. - I'm started. - Alright, let's hop into these entitled stories. This first one comes from the subreddit Selfs.

Oh, it's called self. People just tell stories about themselves. - Get over it. Wow. Human beings talking about themselves. - Shut up. Alright. People in the ER got mad. because a guy with a ruptured spleen skipped the line. I work as a nurse in the emergency department, which if you've never been in one, is a beautiful chaos factory full of pain, drama, and at least one person every night. who thinks emergency means. I had a weird sneeze eight days ago, and WebMD said I might die.

Anyway, this shift's highlight was a man brought in. by ambulance after a serious car accident. He had abdominal trauma, signs of internal bleeding. and a crushed spleen. This is not a wait patiently situation. He needed immediate intervention. and transfer to a trauma center. So we did what we do. We moved him ahead of the queue, stabilized him, and got him where he needed to go. Queue multiple people in the waiting room, getting mad. It's funny because we have the room. with several copies of this, and I doubt any of those brutes ever paid attention to it. One woman actually stood up.

and said, "Excuse me, we've been waiting for two hours. and he just got here.". I kid you not, she was here for a mosquito bite. Another guy... - Sorry. - Another guy, shoulder pain from a fall like two weeks ago, I think starts loudly talking to others. about how unfair the system is. We're trying to literally keep a man alive. And I'm standing there listening to someone complain. because their back's been kind of sore since Tuesday. This isn't Starbucks. There is no line. It's not first come, first served. It's who might die first.

And if you're mad because you got leapfrog by a patient. who came in via ambulance with a shredded organ, maybe the ER isn't the place for your mild shoulder vibes. Some days I think we should just hang a giant sign. that says you don't want to go next. - Oh! - Wow! - I have heard about this. I have family members who are in the healthcare system. and I've obviously talked to people. and I've heard about this type of stuff all the time. - Yeah.

- I've also watched shows where like, this is very much a theme of it. - Totally. - [Shane] Wow. - I mean okay. I just wanna say like right off the bat. it is a valid point to be upset with the system. and to feel like in a moment, like, okay, I need care right now. I'm not getting that care. Like that there's truth in that for sure. But it's clear that the entitlement is the inability. to see that somebody clearly needs it.

more than you right now. And you can't put that necessarily to the side. The system does need to change, but this situation played out how it had to. - And also being frustrated is okay, like, waiting for hours sucks. - Yeah. - Like that sucks. It's okay to be mad, but how you take that anger out. is a big thing. I mean, we've talked about like. the airport is a big one, right? Like, airports suck. We all hate waiting at airports, but taking it out at the person on at the terminal.

not gonna do anything for you. Only gonna make your life harder. And everybody else is dealing with the same bullshit too. - Totally. - But yeah, if you're in an emergency room, you see someone come in on a stretcher, it's like, hey man, use your eyes. Like that guy is dying. - Right. Just be patient. - Entitled shit is so exhausting. because I mean, I feel like all human beings. and like you zoom in and you zoom out. All of our organs are a bunch of cells.

that for some reason we're like, you and me, and you and me and you and me. we're gonna digest this meat and turn it into this. And they all work together. And if you zoom out this planet earth run, we're all these little cells all together. and we should all work together. and, you know, consider ourselves one and the same. And we don't (beep) do that. And shit sucks because of it. - Exactly. - And if we all just were like, oh my God, that's me. You're me. This is all, we all have to work together. You know, aliens that are (beep) humongous.

come and look at our little ball. and go, oh, look at all these little things going. It should, if it all flowed together, we'd be in a much better society. Anyway, I have a lot of angry opinions. about how humans think about each other. - Definitely. Yeah. - Well, there's lack of community, like everyone is all so individual. Like everyone's their own little island. and it's like, well, I only care about myself. It's like, there's a guy dying. - Right. - Like, you don't care. This is also a fellow human. - This is also a deeply American issue. I mean it's elsewhere as well. But like, there are other cultures on earth that have.

more of a community mindset and work. - For sure. - I mean, and you have to wonder, like back in like the ancient world, when you had like a small community, someone dying was like, oh, shit our chances. Like we need that person. - The guy that picked the berries is dead. - We have no berries for years now. 'cause berryman, berries and guy died. We needed him for the berries. and cream in the village. - Yes. It's cannon now. - But nowadays there's just, there's so many of us. and yeah, we all live in our own worlds. Like technology's isolated us, so it's easy to be entitled.

and to just not, and to lack empathy. I mean, that's what this really is. It's like, Hey man, you have a mosquito bite. Like it's okay to be scared. You know, there's a lot of things that can be scary. that don't seem like that, but you're in the emergency room. Everyone else here is also fearing for their lives. in some way. - Right. It's like... - What'd you say? - No, no, no. - No, you go. - No you go. - Okay, if you're in the emergency room. and you're mosquito bite sends you into shock. and you're on the floor seizing, they're gonna take you in immediately. - Yeah. - Right. - So, you know? - They're doing their best. Like, they are truly doing their best.

- No, it's exactly that. It's, taking something that, again, in your eyes, in your reality is perhaps big. and making it like the most important thing. for everybody else around you. And being like, I am incredibly important right now, my mosquito bite, you need to help me. Otherwise I can't go to work tomorrow. - Right. - Work. I can't go to work tomorrow. 'cause it's gonna be itchy. My arms! - Similar to what we were talking about. with like, the movie theater. Like when I, I am very fortunate.

that I have not had many major health things going on, but still, when I have. and I show up, I try to not be like a big deal. - Yeah. - I'm trying to just show. and be like, Hey, I got this thing going on. I one time cut the tip of my finger off. while I was at home cooking. and I had to walk to an urgent care. and like, it wasn't that bad. Like the tip of my finger was cut off, but I was bleeding everywhere. And so, like, I did have blood all over my shirt, and I like walked just with a paper towel, like holding it. And I just walked and I just go, Hey,

I cut the tip of my finger off, but like, you know, and I was like prepared to just like sit and wait. and they saw like blood everywhere. and they're like, all right, get back. - Oh my God. - But the last thing I'll say that pisses me off. with this type of stuff is we're talking about like. being frustrated with systems and it's so true. I am frustrated at our healthcare system, but taking it out on the nurse is not going to change. It's kinda like when movies come out. and people are really mad at the decisions.

or the storytelling of the movie, and they go to the actors' Instagrams. and send hate their way. I'm like, you know, the actor had nothing to do. All of this. They auditioned. and they read the lines that were given to them. - Totally. - Today's Reddit stories is brought to you by Mint Mobile. You know what doesn't belong. in your end of summer plans getting burned. by your old wireless bill. While you're planning beach trips, barbecues, and three day weekends, your wireless bill should be the last thing. holding you back. With Mint, you can get the coverage.

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Every time I've had a long wait in the ER, even in severe pain, I've thought, well, this is probably good. It means they're pretty confident. I'm not going to die right now. - There you go. - Someone else said, on the flip side of this, I have a severe seafood allergy. We went out to eat at a place. that served fried crab and didn't know it. I told my husband I was having an asthma attack. and my inhaler wasn't working. The only option at 10:00 PM was the ER. But I was having breathing problems, so I kind of reluctantly went. The intake nurse asked me a few questions, got to when did it start? I said, we were just leaving dinner. She said, do you have food allergies? I said, yes.

They immediately took me back. When they were wheeling me from the front desk back. and there were people in the waiting room, I thought, oh, no. Ended up being there for two days. Someone else said, craze that people can live as adults. and not understand that ER treats people based on severity. and not by arrival order. Someone else said, guaranteed most of them in the ER. didn't even need to be there. Most ERs are full of people that haven't a clue. what emergency means. Yeah. - Yeah. - It's scary though. because like, I don't know, health is complicated.

and like we don't know what's scary. and what's not. And I mean... - Also, I mean like that person just went in thinking. maybe not a huge deal and then was there for two. So it's like, it's always better to be safe than sorry. when it comes to health and emergency. - Yeah. - But still. - I'm never gonna, like, I would never shame someone. for going to the emergency room. or a doctor for anything, right? Like even if in my head I'm like, I think that's ridiculous, but go. - Go check it out. - Because it's better to just be safe than sorry. Alright, our next story. This comes from, am I the asshole? Am I the for telling my wife.

she's not worthy of what she's asking for? For her push present. Okay. - I'm assuming that's a baby pop story. - Oh. - Baby pop. - Oh, go on. - What's that? - Like when you... Was that graphic? - When you pop out a baby, you get a present, for popping the baby out. - Okay. - That's what I'm guessing. That's a huge boulder in the backyard. Go on, - (laughing) Push it. - You were saying, - This is my wife Sisyphus.

She'll deal with this thing. My wife and I have been together for five years. She's pregnant with our first, right now. A few days ago, she sent me a TikTok video. of a woman over one of those extremist podcasts. talking about deserving some kind of a push present. First, I didn't even know what that meant, but then I looked it up. It's basically a thank you gift to the woman. who brought your child into the world. This concept is, and still seems very strange to me. I understand seeking appreciation from your husband. for what women go through during pregnancy and childbirth, but it's the materialistic part that gave me the ick.

The woman on the TikTok went on. and on about how it's a body for a body, which meant the man would have to get. a permanent tattoo on his lower body, give her a house and a car as a gift exclusively to her. I felt that those expectations are very entitled, honestly, a little vindictive, envious, permanent tattoo part, and very over the top for my taste. The decision to bring a child into the world. is both partner's decision. My wife in our case, is not forced to be a mom. or be pregnant as she wants to be a parent too.

I simply replied to the TikTok with laughing emojis. and moved on thinking it was the end of it. And probably thought she meant to send. that TikTok as a satire. Like, oh, look how dumb this woman is thinking. she deserves all this. She was in the other room when I reacted to the video. So she comes to me. and tells me that she doesn't expect a tattoo. and a house exclusively for her, but she wants me to dip into my personal savings. to get her a car exclusively for her. I looked at her almost shocked and began laughing. I thought my wife and I had similar views. on how extremist people can be, and I was wrong.

I thought she was joking. and I pressed her if she was actually serious. She got very annoyed that I thought she was joking. and probably imitating the entitled woman on the reel. And she flatly said that she expects a real push present. I said that her gift is the gift of parenthood. and the realized outcome of a healthy baby. And materially speaking, I'll probably give her a Mother's Day card, a day out or some jewelry she wants under $700, but nothing more. I said, if she really wants an extra car, it'll be our car, not just hers. She pressed more and said how it isn't enough.

for what she will go through. She kept pushing and pushing. and asked me if I think she's not worthy enough. I told her she's worthy as my partner. and the mother of my child, but she has to be realistic. and realize that none of us individually speaking. is worthy of what she's asking for. That she has to manage her expectations, because I don't see why she feels she deserves that. It came out wrong, but I didn't mean. to dismiss her as a person. She isn't speaking to me and is crying, arguing about it. I heard her criticizing me to her sister on the phone, but under no circumstances would I ever consider. gifting her a car.

I feel bad she's hurting right now, but I don't feel bad for giving her a reality check. - Oof! - Wow! - Okay. Okay. - Oh boy. - Okay. Yeah, - I feel like the first, first of all, this is something kind of a side note, but I've noticed on TikTok that hot takes are such a form. of content that people are milking more and more. And takes just have to keep getting more and more extreme. - Exactly. - Like if you wanna get, the point is not to actually give advice to people.

The point is to get attention. So the take has to be extreme, and they're just getting more and more extreme. So I feel like taking advice on TikTok. is just never the move. It's going to be the most extreme version of anything. - Absolutely. - Yeah. It's also gonna tie into what TikTok. and like the world of influencers. and content creation is, which is a form of consumerism. And a lot of the tiktoks that you will see is like, like I just saw like boo baskets for Halloween.

or like Easter baskets for Easter, right? Or like push presents for pregnancies. Like, there's so many things. that I feel like are now being like, titled something like kind of cutie. So it's like, oh, we're all doing it. Oh my God, are you and your boyfriend not doing that? Like, that sucks for you. And so then this woman, it seems like, saw that. and was like, well, I want my husband to love me. and I am obviously doing something that's huge. Then this is what I need to send him.

In order for him to step up and do that. It's like all a part of that. Like if he wanted to, he would stuff. - Right. - And it's like, that's not the case. One person is making this up. and making it seem like everybody is a part of it. and one person is excluded from it. So you have to join in on the community. - Right, right. - Yeah. - I also feel like as a side note too, in a relationship, like a big expense, like a car is definitely a joint decision. - It's a mutual thing. - There's so many ways to give gifts to each other.

in an individual way, but a car is something you both need to choose together. - Right. - And a car being solely one person's in a re-. like when you're married and have kids, - It doesn't make sense. - It feel like silly. - It's weird. - Like there is the kind. of the understanding of like, oh, this is the car that you drive. more of the time maybe, but... - Totally. - Still, once they have kids, it's like, Hey man, you guys, there's gonna be a lot going on. There's not gonna be much time. to like make those decisions or think in those ways. - Yeah.

It's interesting to bring in like the topic. of entitlement in this story. because it is such a tricky thing, right. Because being pregnant. and delivering a baby is a huge. - Totally. - Huge thing. Physically, you are also going to grow. Like, you go through so many changes. Obviously, emotionally, all of these huge, huge things. It's big. I think where it's so interesting to me is that like, we want to feel like we are doing.

a really big thing as well. - Yeah. - And so weirdly, a sense of entitlement comes upon us. Even though we are wanting to do this thing, wanting to become a parent and wanting to get pregnant, we almost attach the sense of entitlement to be like, oh yeah, I am actually really big for doing that. and I'm actually brave. and I deserve something because I'm willing to do that. - That that is true though. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I mean, like the man doesn't have to go. through any physical changes.

- Yeah. - Women have to go through. the changes or people, you know, who give birth. I don't wanna label in that way. And so it does kind of come to then the man. to just support in whatever way... - Of course. - The person carrying the baby needs, but when it becomes material goods, that's when it's like, what? - Right. Right. - The basis of this story. did not shock me at all. I mean, I was like, oh yeah, a gift for giving birth. Like yeah. Like I would hope that someone who goes. through childbirth like gets a lot of appreciation.

and a lot of attention. And gets sent tons of stuff from their friends and family. I would assume that's normal. - Yeah. - This is taking it. just into a weird, unfortunately this went. into a weird TikTok route. - Right. - That's, this became a trend. This became a different thing. and that's where it like went to another level. - Yeah. - And that's where it became silly to me. - It became a little calculated even. Right, 'cause you're right, support, appreciation, like something to, I don't wanna say like even it,

but something for the partner to be able to be like, this is what I'm providing. But to then be like, okay, well this is what you need. to give me in order to make it balanced. That's where it gets a little like, well. - Yeah. 'Cause at the same time, one could probably critique a little bit of how he's this, of being very much like, oh, this is both of us. Like, we're both doing this thing. It's like, dude, she's pregnant. Like this is gonna be agonizing. It could potentially be days of childbirth. Like she deserves something.

But I don't think it's coming from a place of like, I want you to care about me. She wants stuff. And that's where it's like, all right. - Totally. I think the tattoo is what's interesting to me too. - The tattoo is crazy. - Look, like I said, TikTok, you gotta come up with some crazy shit. to get attention. Like, that's what it's about. - Yeah. - That's what it's about, man. And all of us, no matter what your interest is, we've all seen it on TikTok. Whatever you're given hobby. or viewpoint on the world, you've seen the most extreme take on it where you go,

okay, we need to slow down. - Yeah. - Do you even believe this? 'Cause I don't think they do. They're just saying stuff nowadays. - Yeah, they're just trying to get the viewership. And that, yeah. - I don't understand the lower tattoo thing. - So it's get a permanent tattoo on the lower. half of your body? - Yeah. Or like, was it lower half of your like, oh.... - Or something that will like change your body forever. - Change your body permanently kind of thing. - I think it's all these things though. Like I think my issue with it is it's all these, it's all these things to symbolize something that you hope.

that he already understands. - Right. - Right. It's like, you need to get this tattoo. so that your body's changed 'cause my body's changed. It's like, or the hope is this person loves you. and understands what's happening. and will continue to love you. - Yeah, it's almost as if like, it was a decision of who was gonna get pregnant. and she was like, I'll take it on. - I'll do it. - But also tattoo screwed up. - I better get a Prius. - Yeah. - The verdict was not the asshole. Comments, damn I was thinking of some roses.

or maybe a necklace with the baby's birthstone. Someone said, both of my push presents were pendants. with the kids' birth stones. And I didn't even ask for it. Though, they're very much cherished. The world is becoming weird. with all of these excessive expectations. Someone said, not the asshole, influencers are literally ruining people. My present after successful deliveries. was my husband knowing that he's a rotten cook. So he bought groceries. and enlisted our loved ones to fill our freezer. with heat and eat meals. He also chopped ingredients for them. and cleaned up their kitchens. He started this project about a month. before the due date of our first born.

Skipping his gym time, so that it was a very sweet surprise. - Oh. - Lastly, someone said, not the asshole. The concept of giving a gift to the mother. after labor doesn't shock me, to be honest. Just a small gesture to show appreciation. and make mama feel good and a bit better after the ordeal. But it depends on the couple. and financial conditions, flowers, jewelries, other gifts, et cetera. Pricing varies depending on your comfort. But asking for a house car and a tattoo, WTF is extreme. And unless you're nasty rich, it's unreasonable. I do feel like once, 'cause I think this is their first child. I don't have any kids,

but I know plenty of people who do. I feel like the best gift and what is expected. and what should be needed from him, like from day one is like you have a ton of work to do. - Investment. Yeah. - Like the car is not gonna matter. - Yeah. - Right. - You're not gonna be about a car. - You're not gonna be driving anywhere. - After two days, the car is gonna be the last thing you're thinking about. - You're going day by day. - You're gonna be like, please (beep) help me. - You know what's actually so interesting to me? Because this is, I feel like this is happening. in real time as well. I don't know that I had ever considered.

even getting something material. after I would hypothetically give birth. In my head I was, I would always think like, oh, I just want like to be nurtured and taken care of. and supported in that way. And after hearing this story, like now it feels like there's something planted in my head. of being like, oh, do I deserve something material? Like it's working. Like I obviously am not gonna be like, I need a house, I need a car, I need a tattoo. But in my head I'm just kinda like, huh,

maybe that would be nice. And it's like, I don't know that I actually believe that. It's more just like hearing. that other people are being treated that way. Again, it makes me feel like that like exclusion thing. of like, oh, is that what other couples are doing? Is that what other families are doing? Is that what other women are receiving? Should I be doing that too? - Yeah. - That's that system working on you. - Yeah. - I mean, that's what social media and technology. and our society does, is it splits us up into individuals. and then it can tell you a message. and go, this is what everyone's doing.

- Yep. - And you don't have a community to know. are we all doing this? Like, that's the whole purpose of it. - Genius. - I know. Hey, it's genius. Is it evil? - Yes. - But it's genius. - Incredibly - Gevil. - [Shane] Man. Wow. - Eenius. - Today's Reddit stories is also brought to you by Zocdoc. I don't know about you, but my entire social feed. is filled with different health trends, like eating cottage cheese for every meal. or diving headfirst into an ice bath every morning.

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(cheerful music) Back to the show. All right. - Push present. - Our next story comes from entitled parents. I've seen so many posts from the subreddit over the years. and it is awful. - Yeah, it's gonna make me mad. - Yeah. - Here we go. Karen threatens to get me arrested for gardening my garden. - Not Karen - Title says it all. Because the groundhog had no shadow. Spring came early, so I had decided to weed the garden strip. that borders mine and Karen's property.

There's a fence between the garden and her house. While doing so, I get rid of some of my day lilies. that are on my property. I finish, return to my house. and continue my day until I hear a shriek. from the side of my house. I rush over because I'm scared someone got hurt. And Karen, who just got home from work, asked me why I got rid of her lilies. I say that they were my lilies. and that I was making space for tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots. She then calls the police, because I had destroyed her property. The police come and basically tell her to go inside.

and shut up because it's pretty clear. whose flowers they were. - Karen. - Karen. - Karen, you idiot. - Karen. - Update. - Oh! - I'm gonna get right into it. - Immediate update. - Think we need more. - This is an update to a previous post of mine, but I feel like this is big enough to warrant its own post. In my previous post I explained. that a woman flipped out over the fact. that I had taken day lilies out my garden in preparation. for some vegetables and such I was going to plant. In the comments, some had suggested.

that I put a camera facing the garden in case Karen. decides that the tomatoes look like. they're on her side of the property line. My aunt, who's not entitled, was switching from Arlo. to Ring home security. So she sent me those. They arrived the morning of the fire, so no video. That aside, I did not expect Karen to do this. Yesterday, Karen got mega drunk, like multiple cases. of beer drunk. - Whoa! - I don't know what she was drinking, but she had obviously had a lot. And this put her anger over the edge.

about the loss of my lilies. She went with wood. and fire starter to my neighbor's house, the one on the opposite side of her house than mine, and lit their bins on fire. This spread to their porch. and their entire home was a light. I'm a light sleeper. and living in a cul-de-sac was woken up. by the orange haze floating through my windows. I called 911, the whole shebang, witness report. and everything. And as I went out with the 911 operator on the phone,

this shitbag gives a confession. After a while. and as the fire department shows up, she realizes her mistakes. One, she lit a house on fire, and two, she lit the wrong house on fire. She's being charged with arson and the like. And everyone got out. There's a mother, father, and two kids who are high schoolers. It still feels surreal. - Oh my God! - Holy crap! - She is a Karen. - Whoa! I think you go past Karen.

Karen's, I mean, actually, to be fair, Karen's do put people's life at risk a lot. I guess that kind of does make you a Karen, but this is full on arson and I don't know. That's attempted murder arguably, right? Pretty much light a house on fire with people in it. - Oh my God! - And lit the wrong house on fire. - Now how do you mess up which house you light on fire? - It's multiple cases of beer. - Yeah. - You've ever been seven beers in? - She comes out the porch. and she's like, (beep) where my lilies, I can't see them anymore. And she goes one way or the other.

- When I'm seven beers in, I don't know what's left. and what's derecha. - That was awesome. That was awesome. (Shane laughing). - I think I said left or left. - I think you did. - Which is the joke. - Derecha is right. - It's right? (Tommy speaking in foreign language). Ah, okay. (Arasha speaking in foreign language). There we go. I'm glad everyone is okay. - Yes. Thank God. - But Karen's behind bars. - I would assume their insurance would pay for this,

because there's video proof. of someone lighting their house on fire. - Thank goodness. - Whoa. Her life is over. - Karen's in jail, I'm assuming. - Karen's gonna go to jail. - She's behind bars. - Comments. I am sorry, did I read this correctly? She lit a house on fire as retribution? I am done with the internet for today. Thank you. Someone else said, how insane do you have to be. to light someone's house on fire over flowers? You have an entire yard, plant your own lilies. Lastly, someone said, well, that took a sharp left turn from the sedate discussion. of property lines and plant law that I was expecting.

Whew. Man. - That's crazy. - I just think like, I've heard so many stories about like wild neighbors. and I think some, like, frankly, some like old people just spend too much time. by themselves and they just like... - They drive themselves crazy. - Go like wild. - Yeah. - And then this happens. - When you don't have a life to go live, you sit. and you think. - Yeah. - And you're just in your own head. and you spiral downward and you go (beep) crazy. - And you don't consider real world consequences.

You're just like, all that I have to do is win this battle. But then the cops show up. and you're like, oh yeah, I am a human being. - I live in the world. - And you mix in 12 beers into that situation. Is that the most entitled person. or is that 'cause, was that entitlement. or was that just pure rage? - Well, they weren't even her flowers to begin with. So she's not even entitled. - She was entitled. to someone else's property. - Yes, and that doesn't really make sense inherently.

- I think she believes, I think maybe like, because the lilies are in her line of sight. and because it's... - Everything the light touches. - Exactly. - Is hers (laughing). - It belongs to hers. She's like, I see those, that's in my backyard. Those are mine. - Those are mine. - And when they're cut down, I didn't want them to be cut down. So therefore I have say. over which house deserves to stay up. - So is Kate from John Kate plus eight Mufasa in this story? - Yes. (laughing). The most in the wildest move.

that Karen could have done is when Op walks out. and sees the house on fire, the neighbor's house on fire. and Karen, Karen should have turned. and just been like, look what you made me do. And then you would've thought about that forever. - Oh yeah. - I do want the image. of a Karen in full silhouette with a, like a raging fire behind her. I feel like that would be a really... - Well, it's kinda that meme photo of the girl smiling. - Yeah. But she' like really drunk too. - Yeah. Just... - I, oof, imagine like coming to from drinking so much...

- Oh my God. - And finding out you lit a house on fire. - You're done. - You're done. - I've done blacked out before, so... - It's like why I don't like to ever get drunk. because you're like, what did you do? - Oh yeah. - That's so terrifying. - Talk about a hangover. - Yeah, man. For real. Alright, our next story comes from relationship advice. - Yay. - Aw. - I want drama.

- Oh, no. - And I love, love. - Oh no. - Oh no! - It's a question. The title is a question. - No. - Can you ask someone to lose weight for your wedding? - Oh no. - Ooh. - Oh no. - My friend, a 33-year-old woman is a personal trainer. and just got engaged to another personal trainer. All of their friends were met through the gym. they both work at. I have known her since we were both five. I'm not a personal trainer. I'm a US size 10.

So I'm not obese, but I'm definitely on the fatter side. I'm very comfortable with who I am and my doctor is too. Well, tonight she called me with the best news. Her fiance and her are putting together a great workout. and meal plan together for me. They figure if I drop 20 to 30 pounds, the wedding pictures will be more symmetric. She was... - Jesus Christ. - Okay. Thought it was gonna be a little more nuanced. We're fine. - She was so happy and excited.

like she was doing me a favor. I wasn't even sure what to say, so I just hung up. and haven't responded. I'm completely flabbergasted. This isn't a situation. where I constantly bitch about my weight. and then get mad when someone offers to help. I've never asked for help. I've never mentioned wanting to lose weight. They both just kind of took it upon themselves to help me. Obviously I'm going to opt out of being her maid of honor, but at this point I'm not even sure I want to go now. Why would anyone think this was okay? I honestly have no idea how to discuss this with her. I feel like it's much more her fiance's idea than hers.

- No. - My first reaction is they both called you. She's owning that plan too. - Yeah. Absolutely the hell not. I thought it, it was gonna be something else. Like a little more vague. Like, I don't know, in like terms of like the relationship. between each other or something. But this is just flat out absolutely inappropriate. Zero reason to do this. - Okay, symmetrical? Bring a plus one who's another regular person. and put on the other side of the picture.

- Sorry we're on CrossFitters. - Exactly. And also, why do you care about (beep) that? For your wedding photos? Symmetry? Are you kidding me? - It's your wedding. Have just be happy you're loved. and have people around who love you. - Exactly. Don't try to like shape them. My God. - Love to work out. - It's wild to me. We've seen this a couple times. of people not only caring about how they look. for their own wedding, but how everyone else needs to look. - Yep. - I'm like, why are you so obsessed with this? - Not your job? - Like, they are other people. living their lives like they're at your wedding.

But they are who they are. Let them be. - There's a thing that happens that I've noticed. When you're like, and I guess I've noticed it more like in the gay world, we've all seen the pictures of like the gaggle. of gays at the beach and they all look (beep) identical. and they're all ripped. and that's all they (beep) care about. - Yeah. - And they're probably rich too, so I don't know how, anyway, I'm a little jealous, but not actually. (Shane laughing). But not actually. And it's like if a regular,

if a regular person becomes a part of that, they wouldn't be like allowed in. So there's something about like, well, I've worked really hard in a psychotic way. that I only focus about this, so I want this person to do. And so then you get in this weird broken mindset. that you lose humanity. - No, I mean, fitness. and health is like your own personal journey. - Absolutely. - And you're allowed to do whatever you want. Like you're allowed to be obsessed with it. You're allowed to, to absolutely want to be like perfect. in your own world, but to care about other people's journey. 'cause some people don't care. They are fully happy and fine.

- I would say it is almost never appropriate. to give somebody else advice. or insight unless they ask. - Exactly - About their body, their appetite, their diet, their workout routine. - [Shane] Exactly. - Absolutely. Yeah. No, I think you're 100% on the money with that. Oh God. It does frustrate me a lot with the fitness world. to how so many of them think. like that everyone's motivation. and just viewpoint is the same as theirs.

It's like, well this works for me, so it should work for you. - Right. - And you should be happy with this. 'cause I'm happy with this. It's like, you know, other people live differently. Like, that's another person. - And have different opinions on what is attractive. and what is suitable and desirable for them. Like, that's also a spectrum for different people. People are into different things. They want to express and show themselves differently. They wanna live a different life. Like, that's what the entitlement is, is that I have figured it out. and I know the right way to look.

and therefore you need to look like me. - Yeah, 'cause OP is saying like, I've always been happy. I've never said anything. If OP is leading up to this. and I don't think this would be appropriate still, but if OP had been like, oh, I'm gonna feel so insecure. 'cause you guys all look so good. I'm so ins-. Ah, that's gonna suck. Whatever. Then if this happened, but even then, I would say unless you're directly asking for it. - Yeah. - It's inappropriate. - Ooh, God, I'm with her of not wanting to go. That's so uncomfortable, man. - I wouldn't not go.

- That means if you're there, they're gonna, they're thinking about your body. - It's now unfortunately opened this box of like, oh, okay. Like, you guys are, like, it's okay to be hyperfocused on your own body, but you're hyperfocused on me. Like, oh God. - Which just like how? - And it's also them saying the symmetry thing. It's like, oh, it's not even, you don't even care about, you're not coming from a place of caring about my health. or something. - Right. - This is purely a looks thing. - She's a number in a picture. - Yeah. - Like yeah. - It's objectified. - And then what else was picked apart. for symmetry too, you know?

Is that how we pick our friends? Did we go across and look at skin tones? - Well, I'm only friends with you. because you're beautiful and smart. - Well, that's okay because I asked you to. (all laughing). - I asked you to. - That was a perfect, I was like, and you went, that was great. - Some comments on this. Call her back. and tell her you thought about her symmetry issue. and have decided you can just be in the center. of every picture to make it even. No weight loss needed. Someone else said what the actual (beep),

no, that's not okay. A real friend would never ask that of you either. Lastly, someone said, Hey friend, I'll do you one better. This is my total weight, xxx. You can just subtract that number from your wedding party. - Ooh! - Whoa! - Yeah, I do not think I would go. I just be like what. - Like so mean. - And just like an insecurity that has not been there. for this person is now planted by these other people. who were supposed to be, sorry, she was gonna be made of honor. This was your best friend getting married.

who out of nowhere was like, Hey, guess what bestie? Meal plan for you. - It would make me think like, so has our whole friendship. been like tainted by this thing? - Yeah. - Spooky. - Exactly. It's like the blindfold comes off. And it's like, oh, this is who you are. - Yeah. - Oh, damn. Update. - Oh! - Oh! - So wow. That post blew up. I ended up deleting it because my friend. lost business over it. - Good. - She had told a few of her close clients her plan. when it blew up.

and ended up on Facebook via different news outlets. They were able to put two and two together. They decided they didn't want her to be their PT any longer. That was never ever my intention, although I feel bad play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Anyways, she and I talked at length. She admitted her true motivation was having. before pictures, my wedding photos. and after pictures, her wedding, of a normal mom transformed into a fit mom. She was also planning on having crop top dresses. After three pregnancies. my abs are quite separated and she wanted to help.

She realized her motivations were selfish. She knew I would decline. So she had hoped presented it this way, I would do it for her. But yeah, her concern was never my health. She admitted that multiple times. To address a few things, $2,500 plane tickets were a for a family of five. I've also never hinted at wanting to lose weight. She knows I'm very comfortable with who I am. Also, my doctor is very happy with where I stand. I received many very strange messages. and comments telling me my doctor is lying to me. I can assure you, my doctor would make a lot more money.

telling me I was fat and needing to run extra tests. So he is not going to lie about my health. That's about the exact opposite of what a doctor does. My husband is not a sexist pig for saying. he wanted to show me off at a nude beach. He's my biggest supporter. He just meant that I don't need to hide. and I am beautiful the way I am. I'm guessing there's probably... - That's okay, go off nude beach. - I guess there's comments. There's probably a lot of comments in the previous post. giving more information. - Yeah. - So she probably. talked about her doctor. and her husband wanting her to go to a nude beach.

- That's awesome. - Hell yeah. - Hey, rock on man. Lastly, she says the fiance wasn't behind this, but he's pissed that I wouldn't just do it for her. He literally said, tell her anything over a size four. is disgusting, in the background when I spoke to her. So good luck with your winner there. After we spoke, I've decided that I'm just. going to go to the wedding. and I'm not going to be in the wedding. My family will stay home. She feels terrible. But we've been friends for almost 30 years. I'm also not going to fly out for her showers. and bachelorette, which I would have done otherwise. This really put our friendship in perspective for me.

She had stepped back a little since she got serious. with her fiance and I didn't realize the extent of it. He has some strong views on hating anyone over a size four. And I realize she slowly picked these up as well. I have no idea what the friendship will hold after this, but I still wanna be there to cheer her on for her wedding. But I don't have to be immersed in every aspect. - I am flabbergasted. I am truly disturbed at what the fiance thinks.

- A lot of people think that's true. - That is actually crazy to feel so bold. and say something like that. And all the other people too. that are weighing in about the doctor lying. or the doctor, like not being truthful. Like I just, like Why do you think you know another person's body, especially a stranger on Reddit? Like, you do not know what is happening for them. - That's a lot of entitled comments. - Yeah, just to go purely off of like this, the number, like the size that's, that is baffling to me.

- Kids at home, be careful who you pick to be your partner. because you will adapt some of their stuff. 'Cause you'll be with them more than anyone else. So be careful. - Don't think you can just overlook it. - Right. - And there is, you know, there is enjoying. and having a hobby out of being healthy and stuff. But this is so superficial. - Yep. - It's like, hey man, like things happen in life. and also you're gonna age, like be careful with this person.

Because at some point if they're so objectifying. of everything, you're not gonna meet their standard. 'cause it's gonna be impossible at some point. - What happens if the wife gets in, you know, God forbid an accident. and she can't work out for three years. - Yeah. It's no... - Does he find her disgusting and throw the marriage away? Like girly needs to check out who she's marrying. Wow, horrible people. Horrible story. - Horrible. - Yeah. Horrible people. Really horrible people. Next story.

This one from Petty Revenge. - Okay. - Thank goodness. - I do love some revenge. - And petty? - And petty. - Petty revenge is usually my favorite. There is petty revenge. There is pro revenge. and there is a nuclear revenge subreddit. Entitled Parker parked in my driveway. So I blocked them in and got drunk all weekend. That's baller move right there. - Yeah. I love this. - A couple cases of beer. - Kind of obsessed with that. - Friday night I came home from work. to find someone on our block was having a large party. and someone decided they were entitled.

to park in my driveway. Keep in mind, my driveway is a single car width lined. with a retaining wall on both sides and a garage at the end. Essentially impossible for a tow truck. to come pull them out without property damage. Seeing this and the lack of street parking, I took this as a cue to park right behind them. in my driveway. Now a few hours go by. and their entitled Parker is now knocking. at my door demanding I move my car so she can leave. Seeing as they were demanding, I informed them that I had been drinking. and would not move my car. - Smart. - So smart.

The entitled Parker then decides to call the police. to get them to force me to move. When the police knocked on my door, I was sure to grab a beer from the fridge. before I answered to talk to the officer. I had informed him that after I got home I was unwinding. and had been drinking and was in no shape to drive. At this point, their hands were tied. because they couldn't tow her car out. I'm in no shape to drive. and I'm legally parked in my driveway. I ended up telling the entitled Parker. that since it's a long weekend, I would be on a weekend long bender. and they could move my car after I go to work on Tuesday.

- Incredibly impressive. - That is, that's impressive as hell. That's the most impressive use. of getting drunk I think I've ever heard. - Oh, I am so proud. - Yeah. Good job man. - Good job, man. Wow! - That's dope. - Oh my God. The entitled Parker. - Oh, that's brutal. But I can't imagine parking in just a random driveway. - Are you kidding me? - A single driveway no less. - Like what is your plan there? - Yeah. - I don't know man.

People get in cars and then they change. It's like a full moon for werewolves. - They do. - It's nuts. - Man, driving's changed you man. - Yeah. - That Prius changed you. - This is emboldening me to, 'cause I, in my apartment complex, there's a bunch of spots and then there's, I guess. 'cause I was like the last to move in at one point. Then there's one spot by the dumpster. And so I park there, which is great. And people who are like just, you know,

shopping around in the area will just come. and park in my spot. And I've been really good. 'cause I'll come home and I'll be like, and I'll go, I can park on the street next door, it's fine. And like take a breath. But now I'm like, what if I just go... Popping in and be like, I'm sorry, that's my spot and you were in it. - I think you should. - I'm like, that sounds fun. - Wait, you so should. - Because I could call and tow them, but then if I do that they know where I park.

so they could come back and key my car or something. - I think that's my thing is, living in LA. but living anywhere is like when people are like, oh, you should get revenge in this way. I'm like, I can, I don't know if that person is a murderer. Like you never know. - Right. - And it's not fair. But I'm always like, hey, people sometimes murder people. - You gotta pick your battles. - Exactly. And I'm not picking that battle. But it sounds fun. - And like this guy's confident, it looked like it worked out fine.

- You could just like get their car towed a bunch. and keep parking on the street. You know, so that way, like... - They'll never see my car. But then I've given up my parking spot. for one moment of revenge. But it'll be delicious. - It'll be delicious. - It will be really, really delicious. - It would be really yummy. - Yeah. That's true. - They come out, they're like, ah! They're just like... Like standing there, right there in their face. - But you don't know where my car is parked. - You don't know who I am. - Time to go to the store, I've got a mile walk.

- Comments, the absolute (beep) entitled. audacity to park in someone else's driveway. without permission, I would've taken an Uber to work on Tuesday, just as an extra (beep) you. Someone said, I too live across from an elementary school. and the number of people who park directly in front of. or in my driveway is staggering. I also happen to get home from work. while school is getting out. So on more than one occasion, I have blocked every single person trying to enter. or exit the school pickup line while the one a-hole parent. in my driveway goes, it'll just take a second. Can you do a loop? Someone says hello police,

I trespassed on someone's private property. by parking my vehicle up their driveway. and now they've parked behind me and won't let me out. I'm the victim here. I demand you come and punish them. Nice work OP. I applaud your pettiness. - Yeah, driving entitlement. is like a whole nother thing. - It's really bad. - Yeah. - It's really bad. - [Arasha] It's terrible. - I wanna go to a petty zoo. and I wanna walk around. and hear a bunch of people's awesome petty revenge stories. - Yeah. Yeah. - And they will be in a cage. (Shane laughing). - So anyways, one time...

- Yeah, we'll just throw crumbs at them from outside. - I'm like, that was good. - Good work. - Update. - Oh, yes. - I did not expect this to blow up like it did. After the first few sightings of entitled Parker, it was a relatively peaceful weekend. and I did a lot of diagnostic tests on liver performance. I contemplated the idea of working from home on Tuesday, but ultimately decided that I had enough fun with this. and went to work. My neighbor said they saw the entitled Parker sheepishly.

come around 8:00 AM to retrieve their car. and went without incident. All in all, I think EP probably learned a valuable lesson. to park only where legally allowed, although they probably had a headache of being without a car. for the weekend, it ultimately was likely a better outcome. than having the car towed. and impounded, which is notoriously hard to go. and retrieve in my area. Especially on a holiday weekend. That's true. - Yeah. - He saved them money, - So it was a favor actually. - It's telling them, that's a lot of money and it has to be cash. - And it hopefully seems like. she learned her lesson. 'cause she...

- You hope. - I just don't think people like that learn lessons. - I think unfortunately, like part of my reason, like with revenge, I don't do it. 'Cause I'm like, it's cathartic? Sure. But I'm like, is it worth the trouble? And then it's, do I believe people change? Often, no. My instinct is no. Do people change? Yes, of course they do. But when someone's already willing to do something. of this nature, their ego's gonna go, well, I'm gonna do it again. Always think it's, a part of me is almost like. they're more likely to do it again.

'cause now they're mad. - I can already see her like over the weekend without. her car telling her friends like, guess what this (beep) guy done to me? - And they're all probably like, I can't believe he (beep) that. - (beep) that guy. - Yeah. Who does he think he is? Drinking all weekend, that's sad. - Let's drink a couple cases of beer. and light a house on fire. - Yeah. - Our last story comes from relationship advice. - Aw! - This is a 21-year-old woman, my boyfriend, who's 22, gets so jealous over his brother's.

26-year-old man girlfriend, 28-year-old woman. that he cries until he vomits. - Interested to see what that means. - Yes, yes. And why? - My boyfriend, Jake and I are high school sweethearts. and share an apartment with his brother Finn. Finn has been seeing a woman named Bonnie. for the past three months. They met over Tinder. and with certain restrictions lifted, we're finally getting to spend some time. with her in real life. This is in 2020. She's a really great person. and Finn are stupidly into each other,

like accidentally finishing each other's sentences in love, staring at each other with big, gooey eyes in love. It's kind of gross, but kind of sweet. A couple of days ago I noticed. that Jake's been acting weird. He's been a lot quieter and a bit colder to me. Going to bed early, getting up late. I tried to kiss him and he turned away. Yesterday when Finn was out, I asked what was up with him? He started off kind of hostile, but when I said that I was really feeling hurt, he blew up. Summarized, he told me that he was rethinking. our entire relationship. after listening to his brother talk about Bonnie. He said that Bonnie asked for Finn's preference.

when she cut her hair. and didn't get bangs when he said. he thought they looked stupid when I got a pixie, without asking Jake what he'd think first. He said that Bonnie gave Finn a (beep)job. every night before bed. and one every morning when he woke up. When I don't really like oral, giving or receiving. He said, I never offered to give him massages. or pack his lunch. For clarification, I do things for him all the time, but we've never been lovey-dovey. We don't even celebrate Valentine's Day. His suggestion. We both always agreed it was stupid and unrealistic. In fact, we always used to make fun.

of people for being sappy. and definitely gave Finn hell. for a bit over being so gooey. He was crying by the end of it, saying that he felt sick over missing out on someone. who would love him that much. I said, I loved him, but he didn't want to hear it. He started gagging and threw up a little bit. because he was crying so hard. - That's hilarious. - That's really funny. (laughing). - That's really funny. - I didn't know what else to do. So I got him some water and went to bed. I went to work early. and I've been hanging out at a coffee shop, but I have to go home soon. I have no idea where to go from here or what to say to him.

I don't even know if we're still together. Help, just with all of this shit. - Oh my God. - That's crazy. (gagging) (laughing). - [Arasha] Can I just say... - Why won't you blow me? (laughing). - Can I just say I hate when people put like numbers. to (beep)jobs like that in these stories. I hate when it's like, well, his wife. blows him every single hour.

(gagging) (Shane laughing). - Also, is the girlfriend (beep) Princess Bubblegum? No one? Finn and Jake, hello? - (laughing) Yeah. Okay, yeah. - Like Pendleton War go on Reddit. - I was thinking... - Clearly where she got the light names. Yeah. That's really funny. - That's so funny. No, but I think that that's disgusting. to just kind of compare things like that. - It's super disgusting. - Yeah. - And and no point of this is he thinking like,

oh, I could be a better boyfriend to you. - It's just more (beep)jobs. - Yeah, exactly. - He wants a poll present. - This is such an extreme version of this. 'cause I was gonna say too, like on a much more like chill level of like understanding, hey, they're in their first three months. - Yeah. - And I'm assuming they've been together, they high school sweethearts. and they're in their early twenties, so they've been together for at least four years.

So it's like, hey man, like relationships change over time. - Totally. A long-term relationship is not gonna be. as ooey, gooey, sappy as it was in the beginning. The honeymoon phase. - Yeah, exactly. But this is so extreme. I mean, this dude is pathetic. Comments. In a million years, I would never be able. to look at my partner again. if they said something like this to me. I'd be out the door for good. Someone said and then started crying so much they threw up. No, thank you. That kind of entitlement and immaturity is a boner killer.

Someone said, your boyfriend is 22. and expects you to pack his lunch? You don't love him because you don't pack his lunch. and give him (beep)jobs all the time. Go to a friend or family's member's house. and really think about this before proceeding. If you spend time apart, he may notice all the things you do for him. Personally, I would've laughed and left. because crying over this is embarrassing. Someone said, does he ever pack your lunch? Ask your opinion on his hair? Stare into your eyes lovingly? Or does he just want, want, want. without being willing to give? - Yeah.

That's a really funny part we didn't touch on either, that he was like, well, she asks him if she can get bangs. - Right. - Yeah. - Like what? - Give him a cantaloupe with a hole in it. That's lunch and the blowjob. (Shane and Arasha laughing). - Holy shit man. - And honestly, kind of the haircut. - Kind of the haircut. Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, toss a toupee on it. (all laughing). Like there you go. - At the end put it on top, cut around. He got it all.

- The fact that he just started puking after he cried. - No, it's so pathetic. Like all of these demands, but that he's like, it's like dude. - You know that he was like unstable. - And then she packs his lunch. and she blows him in the morning. - Quick blow me. (all laughing). - Dear God. (all laughing). - The fact that she is not immediately walking out the door. is like, dude, come on.

- Yeah. Whoa. - Oh my God. - Okay. Whoa. I just also like, I mean this is so silly. and stupid, but like, yeah, you just can't compare relationships too. It's like at all, relationships are so unique. and they as they should be. 'cause like you're an individual unique person. You need to find that person that matches you. on so many levels. - Yeah. And people, like, every relationship in its own, like you're saying, it is different. and the only people. that are gonna know it are the two people that are in it.

- Yeah. - Like that kind of bond. maybe it is that you are like continuing this somewhat. honeymoon phase for your entire relationship. Maybe that's just who the two of you are. Some people not physically or emotionally affectionate, but it's just like I (beep) that person, they're gonna be around me a lot. - Exactly. I think my theory is they've been together. since high school. I think it's been like her first relationship. She's not clocked how immature this guy is.

because he's not looking for a relationship. He's looking for an accessory and, yeah. Update. - Oh! - Yeah. Uh-oh. Sorry I didn't respond to anyone's comments. I went home after posting. and by the time I logged back onto Reddit, the post had been locked. A few of you asked for the update. So here it is. I'm single. - Yes. - Get it. - I came home and Jake was gone. Finn was there and asked if I could sit down for a bit.

He wouldn't give me the exact details, but said that he. and Jake had talked while I was out. He also showed me a few text messages to prove it. Apparently Finn had never shared any details. with his brother, but Jake had been able to hear them moan. through the walls when Bonnie stayed over. It wasn't a bro talk. or anything after all, just the man I thought. I was gonna marry listening to his brother. have sex through the walls. Neat. When Finn got home from work, Jake tried joking about it. and made comments about Bonnie's race. Finn kicked him out. and now Jake is gonna be staying with their parents.

So I have to pay his share of the rent too, because Finn refuses to let him in. and Jake refuses to come back. Double neat. A few people had questions, so here we go. Did Jake ever mention wanting romantic gestures? No. We actually got together. because we were the only goths in school. We bonded over being against... (laughing). - Okay, now I'm picturing him in chains big, but the makeup. - (beep). - (laughing) Sorry, so many sentences in this.

are killing me. There's nothing wrong with being gone, it's just funny. It's like we got together 'cause we were the only goth. - It keeps reframing the image. I see and it's incredible. - Of him with the toilet puking and crying. - We actually got together. because we were the only goths in school. - Amazing. - We bonded over being against lovey-dovey stuff like that. We grew out of the edgy phase. But yeah, he always was firm. He hated Valentine's Day and women who needed roses. or gifts to feel loved. Has he ever done anything like this before?

Now that I think about it, yeah. He's thrown tantrums before, but never like this. Things like stores running out. of his favorite items always made him really emotional. Why don't you like oral? A bad incident involving Jake's braces. left me with some scarring down there. Oh my God. - No. No more lore. Don't need any more lore. - The lore is wild on this one. - I'm done with the lore. - Ow! - The lore keeps coming. I feel sorry for Bonnie. I don't want to know any more details.

about their relationship, but they seem happy. They work at the same high intensity job. Think physical trainers or OT. So she packs meal prepped bento boxes for him and herself. Finn buys her flowers, fixes her car, goes over when spiders get into her apartment. Like I said, they're cute. This is fake. Listen, man, that's your right to believe it. I think it's fake. And I'm the one that has to figure out. how to ship 200 Funko pops to my ex. So there you go. (laughing). This keeps coming.

God damn. Oh, I'm imagining him now crying, puking, 200 Funko pops to the ceiling. Why won't you blow me? - I'm adding the braces, even though they're gone. - Oh, look, I work in Smosh. I don't judge people for having Funko pops. It's just... - It's all of the ingredients together. - Oh, that's gotta be... I hate to say we haven't talked about this in a long time. This is kind of legendary status. Like, it's so funny.

- This is really good. - It's insane. - I'm so glad she's single. - Yeah. - But this is legendary. - That's awesome. - Oh my God. Every layer of this story, this is one of my favorite Reddit stories we've ever read. - Yeah. - From her having fake names. of being Finn, Jake to the crying, puking to the braces. - The goth, he Funko pops. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. And it has the awful job negotiation in it.

- Oh, this had a little bit of everything. - Unfortunately. - It really did. - Oh wow. - It's like a delicious flaw at the end of a meal. - Oh, God, dear. - Is a flaw made up of lots of different things? - Not really. - It's just... - No, I'm just saying it was a delightful end. to our journey today. - I see. I see. - Yeah. Wow. That was awesome. - Yeah. I'm gonna be thinking about that. - I need to process that one for a while. Well...

- Okay, should we change the channel? - Yeah. - I think I'm done with Reddit stories. - Hi. Welcome to Smash. I'm Shane. - Oh shit. - No, no, no, no. - The reruns are on. - Well, this has been wild. Thank you both for being here. - Thank you. - You know what? You're entitled to everything. You're entitled to the world, I've decided. - And I'll take it. - Thank you so much. It's actually incredibly sweet. - There you go. And thank you all for watching.

and thanks to those who came. to the Just For Laughs live show yesterday. We have another one today. We always appreciate people coming to our live shows. We wanna keep doing them. We're having a blast. And anyways, for those of you watching at home, we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye. - Bye. - Do you like waving goodbye like this? - What's going on with your pinky? - What is that? - I'm waving Goodbye. Shut up. What do you mean? What are you talking about? - It just looks like... - Get outta here.