The Most Unhinged Dating Stories | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hello and welcome to "Reddit Stories". I'm Shayne. And today's theme is all about some wild dating stories. And I'm joined by two people. who I think have had wild dating lives, Tommy and Chanse. - Whoo! (Shayne laughs). - You just kick him on the way down. - If we both did that, the couch would fall apart. (everyone laughs). - It just rips in half. - [Tommy] So I was just waiting. - You can do yours now if you want to. - Whoo! - It's a good rollercoaster right there. - That's good. - Thank you.

- So these stories apparently pretty wild. - That's great. - Apparently. - I mean, I feel like most of the dating ones are. People get crazy in love. - Yeah, it's true. Okay. Shall we just go right into it? - Let's do it. - Yeah! - [Shayne] Okay. - I'm down for some wild stories! - We know this first one's gonna be good. 'cause it comes from Best of Redditor Updates. - Okay. - Love it. - It's gonna be a couple parts to this. "The guy I'm dating, a 36-year-old man, "has a shrine to my, 37-year-old woman,

"ex-husband in his house. "The guy I'm dating has a shrine to my ex-husband. "in his house.". - The guy I'm dating has a shrine to-. - Her ex-husband in his house. - You have an ex-husband. You're dating me. I have a shrine to your ex-husband. - Why? - "I was married for seven years to a celebrity.". - And there we go. - Celebrity in quotes. - [Chanse] Okay. - "I put it in quotes. "because while most of you have never heard of him,

"he is a A-list in the world of metal music. "If you're a metalhead, you 100% know who he is.". Maybe someone in this room might know, have an idea. as we discuss this. "We split amicably because he was always going on tour. "I used to love going with him, "but the thrill of it wore off. "and I found myself sick of traveling so much. "Because of this, we grew apart, "but still keep in contact occasionally. "because despite the fact our marriage didn't work, "he is a really cool, nice person. "Two weeks ago I met a guy through a friend.

"that I immediately hit it off with. "We have been on three dates so far. "The first two dates were drinks after work. "He showed up in nice khakis and a button down both times. "On our latest date, I went to his house to watch a movie. "Literally watch a movie. "We are taking the physical stuff slow. LOL. "He has a nice house, so I asked for a tour. "After he showed me the upstairs, "he said he had to show me his game room. "We went down into a fully furnished basement. "with a pool table, a mini bar, and darts.". - Okay.

- "But there was something very weird down there also. "Apparently my new man is really into metal music. "Would never have guessed based on how he dresses. "And his favorite artist of all time is, you guessed it, "my ex-husband.". - Yes. - "He had framed posters of all my ex's bands, "autographed signature guitars, "and every record he has ever released. "were framed on the walls. "He even had magazine articles about him. "and some of his bands framed. "Every wall in his game room was covered with my ex's face.

"and his signature guitars. "So I may have messed up here, "but I kept my mouth shut and didn't say anything. "He knows I'm divorced, "but he definitely doesn't know it's from his idol.". - Girl. - "We are seeing each other tonight for our fourth date, "and I know I need to tell him but how? "I really like this guy. "But I'm afraid if I tell him he will freak out and run. "What should I say? "Where should I tell him? "I just don't wanna damage our relationship. "because I can really see it becoming long term. "I know I should have told him at his house, "but honestly I was in shock.

"Does anybody know how to approach this?". - And he has his final part of the collection, his ex-wife. (everyone laughs). - Yeah. Wow. - I finally collected everything. - Are we sure he doesn't know? - Yes! That's what I was gonna ask! - If he's a big fan-. - He has to. If he has got magazine articles, he's got all this shit. He knows he was married to someone. - Yeah. - This dude knows! - If he's a diehard-. - He's a diehard. - He's like, "I wanna..." (laughs). (everyone laughs).

"I want to kiss the girl that he kissed.". (everyone laughs). No, no. He's got to know. But also she should have told him right then, right there. - Yeah, that was the opportunity. - Because also, he knows. She should have been like, "Oh, he definitely knows this guy. "He probably knows who I am.". Right then, right there, get it over with, rip off the bandaid. - He's there just like, "Yeah, I'm such a huge fan of him. "He must be so awesome to have sex with.". - Yeah. (everyone laughs).

- I wonder if he's a really good husband. (everyone laughs). Okay. Comments. "I find it really hard to believe that he has a shrine. "of your ex-husband to the level you are describing, "but doesn't know who you are. "Maybe I'm jaded, but it seems too coincidental. "and potentially unsafe for you.". OP said, "A lot of people are saying this. "and now I'm a little freaked out. "I mean, he can Google him and find out we were married.". - Right. - "Now I'm scared he did.

"I'm gonna ask my friend that introduced us. "if she told him.". He has Googled him so many times. - Yeah. Yeah. - I'm a little... I guess maybe, I'm a little surprised. 'cause, you know, we are all like public figures in a way. And it's like we know that information gets out there. Even information that you do everything you can. to keep secret. That I'm kind of surprised. that she was married to him for seven years. and she's not even questioning whether he's, like if his whole basement is filled,

it's like he's Googled him. - Yeah. - He's Googled him a lot. - Imagine having never Googled the man he's obsessed with. - He's like, "I've never Googled him. "I don't know anything about his life.". - He knows. - He knows. How else can he get all that shit? - Which does make it freaky. that he hasn't brought it up to her maybe once he showed it. - But also it's like, "I'm gonna show you this. "Do you have anything to say about this?". - Someone said, "Have you ever been in photos. "with your ex-husband that this new guy might have seen?

"I find it hard to believe. "that in this day and age he wouldn't know. "who the former wife of his idol is.". She said, "This never dawned on me until I posted it, "but there are pictures of us all over the internet. "Now I'm a little freaked out that he already knew.". Lastly, someone said, "If he's such a fan, he knows you.". OP said, "Yeah, I think you guys are all correct, "and I don't think I should continue seeing him. "I'm beginning to think it's not a coincidence at all.". Okay. Update. - Also, Carrie from "Sex and the City" says,

"Friends who set friends up with other friends. "are the most evil people on the planet.". - Ooh. - So this girl, I don't know who, she has not been mentioned, but miss girly thing, who's ever setting her up, she was doing some nefarious shit, I bet. - "Two weeks ago I met a guy through a friend.". - Yep! That's it. I put it on her. I'm gonna name her Emma. - (beep) you, Emma. Sorry. - (beep) Emma. - Okay. Update. "Well, after getting a huge range of answers, "some of which were kind of frightening,

"I decided to give the new guy the benefit of the doubt. "and go ahead with our dinner date that night, "our fourth date." - Uh-oh. - "So I met him at the restaurant. "and we had some wine first. "We were just talking and chatting, "and I realized that I had to bring up the ex-husband thing. "So while we were both two glasses of wine in, "I decided to just ask him flat out if he knew. "that I was previously married to his favorite musician. "He laughed nervously and said, "'Yes, I knew, but my friend didn't tell me. "'I figured it out.'. "He told me essentially that he found out. "through the grapevine that he decided to start mingling.

"with my friends so he could meet me.". (Chanse gasps). "He told me that, yes, at first it was. "just because I was married to his idol, "but that now he's really developing feelings for me. "I thought it was a little odd.". A little odd. - No, this is stalker shit. - This guy's kind of quirky. - But it's also, he's looking at her through the lens. of his idol. He's not even looking at her for her. - Right. "I thought it was a little odd, but I felt fine with it. "until I remembered his man cave basement. "I asked him. "if he knew I was married to his favorite musician, "then why the (beep) would he bring me down there.

"to show me all of the memorabilia? "His response was too weird for me. "He said, 'I was trying to see if you would confess.'. "I was like, 'Confess to what?'. "And he said to my being married to my ex. "I told him that I thought it was pretty concerning. "that he tried to trick me into some weird confession. "and that I didn't think we would work out. "He accepted it and didn't seem upset or anything. "Dinner had already been served, "so we started eating when he proceeded to bombard me. "with questions about my ex.". - And now we're onto the real reason we're all here. - "When is he releasing new material?

"What is his favorite band? "What does he do during the day of a show? "Is he vegan? "What's his mother's maiden name? "Okay, so I made up the last one, LOL. "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. "Finally, he could sense my discomfort, "and we ended the dinner and parted ways. "He said he would text me the next day just as friends, "which I said was okay. "Well, his text the next day. "was trying to get him and his friend's VIP passes. "when my ex comes near us to play. "I did not respond and I blocked his number. "because he kept texting again and again. "begging me for the hookup. "It was desperate and weird.

"Anyway, I called my ex to warn him about this dude. "even though he seems harmless. "He doesn't know where I live, "and I didn't get any psycho vibes. "I think he just wanted me as a trophy, "as some user put it in my last post. Ew. "Thanks, Reddit.". - I'm sorry you didn't get any psycho vibes? (Shayne laughs). Girly, you need to be a little more aware. - So he became friends with Emma in order to get to her. - Yeah. That is like Megamind crazy shit. - I will never-.

- That is like the Joker. planning a giant Gotham extravagant-. (everyone laughs). - Like, I've never understood, because I'm such an introvert, I'm like so shy. that becoming friends with people. is already hard enough for me. But whenever I hear about people becoming friends. to get to someone else, or like just dating someone to get to someone else, or like using people as a stepping stone socially. has always fascinated me 'cause I'm just like, man, that's a whole lot. - Yeah, it's a lot. - It's also like putting, I get it kind of,

but it's like if you're going for someone specifically, you need to go to that person, not go around them. If you don't know what you're going to, I think it's okay to cast a wide net, meet some people, like, you're like, "I'm not sure about this person.". Meet them. Then they show you their people. and then you just kind of, that's what networking is. It's kind of like-. - Yeah, but you're going into it like, "I just wanna meet some people.". - [Chanse] Yeah. - You're not, "I want to connect with that person.". - You're never looking at someone as a means to an end. You're fascinated by every person individually as well. And that's fine.

That is how networking works. Like, networking is being like, "I'm friends with you and oh, I've met people through you. "and now I'm friends with them. "and now I'm meeting people through them.". That's fine. He did this with intent of getting to other people. - He's playing seven degrees of separation. - Never okay. - He's got an end goal. - Yeah. He was never interested in Emma as a human. He needed her to get to her and (groans). - Well, I'm glad OP escaped that. - And he was never interested in her either. - No, no. - He was never OP, he was not.

- It was the idea of her. - And as soon as she said, "We can just be friends,". he's like, "Great. I need this from you. "I need this from you. I need this from you.". - [Tommy] Yeah. - Oh God. She frankly needs to be a little more paranoid. - That's what, yeah. - She is not paranoid enough. - Well, I think... Yeah, I guess her husband is a celebrity, so she might not have to be that paranoid. - Yeah, the thing is this though, like it's almost the more niche of a community you're in, the more intense the fans are. - The more insane, yeah. - I don't know what metalhead fans are like,

but I know that's not mainstream stuff. - That's true. - But like for them it means so much more to them. So they're way more diehard about it. There's probably, I don't know. - That community's usually a little, they're usually sweethearts. - So I've heard. - It's a lucky community to have to do all this within. - I've usually heard that metal. is like a really chill fan base. - Well, 'cause they get all their anger out in their music. They're all yelling. (Shayne yells).

- They're like, "Let's make a sandwich.". (Shayne laughs). - Wild. - Wild. - That hits a what, like an eight or nine on the wild scale. - Yeah. That's scary. That's like a stalker. Like, straight up. - Okay, it's fair to bring this up. Would any realm of this be a deal breaker. if someone knows you or something, like from your career, from Smosh, or from YouTube? - Does it happen often to you? - No.

- It's happened twice to me and it's not a deal breaker. - Really? - Really. - It depends on the level. - If they pretend like they don't, and then I found out they did, and they're like, "I actually...". Then that weirds me out. - Yeah. But if they come into it and they're just like, "Hey, by the way, you're hilarious. "Love your shit. "Hey, let's get a drink.". Then you're just like, "Oh." - Boom, I'm in. - That's fine. I think there's levels to it. I never experienced it. And, you know, out here in LA you might experience, like, they might be also a peer. where they're like, "Oh, I'm an actor. "Oh, I've seen your stuff.".

But a fan, like where they're like, "Oh, I'm a fan. "I've watched tons of your stuff.". - [Chanse] Oh yeah. - I think where I would would've had an issue with it. is that I'm like, "Oh, you know an idea of me.". - Yeah. - And this is gonna be complicated because this is... - And that's kind of fun because it's kind of like, "Oh, you know the mask that I've put out. "Would you like to get to know the person under it?". (Tommy laughs). - I love your take. (everyone laughs). My take is like, "Oh, you know the mask I put out.

"Are you ready to be disappointed?". - No, no, no. - There's levels to it. - I'll also say my sun sign and my rising sign are the same. So it's very easy for me. 'cause I feel like the mask that I put out is also what I-. - I think there's levels to it. But there's also the thing of, "Okay, did you seek me out?". - Oh, that's weird. - Because that's a thing. It's like, oh, if it's happenstance. But see, in this situation, he sought him out. He sought her out. And that I think is inherently a problem. - Shayne, I think I'm so crazy broken.

- What happened? - Because I'm like, at least they're coming after me. At least someone is putting in some freaking effort. Wow. You went outta your way to track me down and find me? Yeah. Let's go to dinner absolutely. - You need to be more paranoid. - [Chanse] Is that crazy? - Yeah, I don't know if this is good. - I'm gonna get kidnapped. (everyone laughs). - And you're like, "He's taking me somewhere!". - Oh my god, he's taking me on-. - We're going on vacation! - [Chanse] I'm going to Belize. - I love surprises. - I'm like, "What is the blindfold for?".

- Pinata! - Yeah, pinata. - I've heard the take too, and, you know, like I said, you know, this is far removed from me 'cause I'm not dating anyone. and I haven't for years. But I've seen the take of like a person. and a fan can never date. because there's an inherent power imbalance there. Like, the person who's a fan. is gonna kind of like already be enamored in a way. And that kind of creates this imbalance. And I was like, I thought that's really interesting.

Once again, I think there's just a lot of levels to it. It depends on how much of a fan. You know, because someone might watch and be like, "Oh, I've seen your stuff. "I really like your stuff.". That is kind of one thing. You know, but like a fan of this level. where they have images of you around their house. It's like-. - That would be crazy. - That might be... The relationship is fan and entertainer, and it needs to stay that way. That's a cherished relationship right there. That's a real thing. But when you try to combine two different things.

or transition one from another-. - That makes sense. - [Shayne] I think can be tough. - Then you're locked into being entertaining forever. in your personal life, you know? - Oh, that's awful. - Yeah. But a lot of different situations that arise. I mean... But anyways, it's an interesting thought. Our next story. Relationship Advice. This is a 28-year-old woman. "My boyfriend, who's 29, grabbed a stranger's ice cream. "Can't believe this actually happened.".

- Was it a baby? - My boyfriend stole candy from a baby, and it was really easy. (everyone laughs). It was frankly really easy. Okay, so her boyfriend grabbed a stranger's ice cream. - Right off the bat, it doesn't say stole. - [Shayne] Grabbed. - Maybe there was poison in it. No! - Oh. - No, he just grabbed it and squeezed it. - Yeah. - It's like (yells). - Somehow worse than stealing their ice cream. - At least eat it. - Yeah.

"We were out walking around this evening. "He'd mentioned wanting to get ice cream, "but hadn't brought money and neither had I. "We usually take a walk after dinner. "and don't buy stuff during it. "unless we decide beforehand we want to get something. "that night. "So as we're walking past a group of people, "he made a sudden movement to the side. "and then started running. "in the opposite direction at full speed. "It was so fast I hadn't seen exactly what he did. "People were saying things like, 'Holy shit,'. "and, 'Oh my god.'. "One guy said, 'He took my ice cream!'. "And that's when I realized what happened. "He (beep) stole this guy's ice cream on a busy street.

"I was absolutely shocked and mortified. "Everyone around us had seen it. "or else quickly got told about it. "They were staring and pointing down the street. "where he was still running. "I couldn't believe what I was seeing. "I apologized repeatedly to the man. "whose ice cream he grabbed, "then said I was going to go find him. "and got myself out of there. "Utterly humiliating. "Well, he'd nearly made it back to the house in that time. "I got there a few minutes later. "and found he had been crouched in the stairway. "furiously eating the ice cream out of the cup.". - Wait, what? What?

- He was gonna turn back into a rat. if he didn't get the ice cream before midnight. Chanse, come on. - Oh, right. My bad, my bad, my bad. - "He scrambled when he heard me coming, "dripping ice cream everywhere. "Looked like a deer in headlights. "He literally left the cup on the stairs. "and ran away from me up to our apartment. "But I had the key-". (Tommy laughs). "But I had the key, "so he was just standing there when I got there. "I of course demanded an explanation. "He had the balls to deny he'd done anything.". - No. - "He insisted he didn't know what I was talking about.". - No.

- "I sort of lost it and started yelling at him. "The cup is down on the stairs, "your hands and mouth are covered in it, "a dozen people literally saw you snatch it. "right outta the guy's hand. "What the (beep) do you mean you don't know? "He then changed his story and said it was just a joke. "What the (beep)? "He decided to reenact a YouTube prank video. "on a random stranger. "How is that a prank? "After I let us inside, "I kept asking what makes him think that's okay to do. "He then changed the story again. "This time he said he doesn't know why he did it. "It was just an urge. "I didn't even know what to say, "so I told him I needed some time to myself.

"I'm seriously disturbed. "He's got no good reason. "This is completely out of character for him. "He's always very mild, reserved, "and treats people, especially me, very kindly. "He's the last person I'd thought. "would do something like this. "What do I do next to figure out what the (beep). "that was about? "How can I even know he's being honest?". - Hey, babe, we need to talk. You grabbed a random man's ice cream. Why? - This is something I think about a lot.

about how quickly you can just ruin your own life. About how just anyone walking down the street, I'm just like, I can just grab that guy's ice cream and run. - Yeah. - Yep. - And just eat it. - [Tommy] Yep. - Like, you can do something just unpredictable. - Every time I'm in a museum, I'm like, "What if I just went insane. "and ripped all the paintings off the wall?". (Shayne laughs). - No, it's-. - It's something you could do. - Art galleries are a crazy place to be. where you're just face to face with a Picasso. and you're just like...

- I could (beep) that up right now. (everyone laughs). (Tommy yells). (Shayne yells). - Just... I just lick it. Like, what? - And what now? What're you gonna do? What're you gonna do? - And what are you all gonna do about it? - We're gonna arrest you. You're under arrest. - Okay. - What are you gonna do about it? - Get your hands down. - It sounds like he, this is... Like, you know, how people joke a lot about like, "I let the intrusive thoughts win and I got a donut.". It's like, that's not an intrusive thought. - No. - We all want a donut all the time. But this sounds like an intrusive thought won.

- Yeah, I was about to say, this sounds like something just took over him and he did it. and he was like-. - [Chanse] It does sound like-. - He felt the spirit. - I do believe him that, I believe the YouTube prank. There is some reality in which I can believe a guy was like, a 28-year-old straight male is like, "This'll be funny.". And then it turns out not to be funny, but it seems like it's such an era of like "Jackass" humor. that isn't around anymore. - Yeah.

And there's nobody filming it. There's no-. - I was just about to say, there's no one there to react. or capture the moment. - It's just the girlfriend. - And he left her behind. - Yeah, you're right. - He left her behind. He denies it once she finds him. - And you have to tell her if you want, if she's the audience, you have to be like, "I'm about to do a prank.". Which it will set it up, and then there's expectations there, and then she's like, "Oh, this is not funny, "but I now know what's going on.". - [Tommy] Right. - I don't think it was the YouTube prank. My only possible thought... There's two possibilities. One, this is a fake story.

Two-. - What do you mean? - What's being written is fake, like on Reddit. - Shayne, everything on Reddit is real. - Yeah. I mean, look-. - Period. - We for fun always take everything as just like, okay, what if this is real? - [Tommy] Yeah. - But in this case, I'm like, this is really out there. - [Tommy] Yeah. - But people do stuff like this. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. This could happen. This very easily could happen. And if it did happen and a friend was telling me this,

I'd be like, "I don't think it's the YouTube prank.". That was his second explanation. His first was deny. His second was that. - The deny was weird. - His final one was like... Was his final one was he doesn't even know why he did it? - [Chanse] Yeah. - Yeah. It was just an urge. That's probably what I believe. - I believe that 100%. - I just think he just was like, he did it and once he did it, he had to commit 100%. - There's no way. There's no way. That to me says like you had a break in your consciousness. - Yes. - Like, you had a blackout and you are-.

- Correct. - That is like possession. Like, you were possessed by something other worldly. - It does happen to people. - Oh my god. - Lastly, a note was written down by Bailey. It's also unsanitary. He doesn't know, like he grabbed someone, a random person's ice cream. This was bad in every possible category. - Yeah. - Comments. "I would honestly ask him if he's okay, "both financially and mentally. "Try not to attack him or make it sound like an accusation.". Someone else said, "How long have you been together? "Either this behavior is new.

"and something has gone wrong with him, "or you need to put more effort. "into getting to know your partners. "Also check your CO level sensors.". Someone else said, "Are you sure your boyfriend isn't a raccoon?". - Right. - Right. - That's what I said. - Update, which we desperately need. - Yeah. - "So I finally got the explanation from him yesterday. "Turns out he was in a Discord server chat. "where the members all dare each other. "to humiliate themselves by doing outlandish things.

"in public they'd never normally do.". - No. - "He told me he's left the group. "because the experience was really stressful to him, "not exciting like he'd thought when he joined. "It was the first time he'd taken one of the dares. "He said that afterwards he just didn't know what to say. "and couldn't believe he'd actually done it. "He was extremely apologetic. "for acting like a lunatic causing me to worry about him. "We had a long talk about it last night. "I genuinely believe he regrets it. "He knows what a stupid (beep) up it was. "Not much else to say really. "Just wanted to come back now that I got the answers.

"Thank you to everyone. "who tried to make sense of the original post. "and who gave me advice for talking with him.". I guess I believe that. But it's like it wasn't filmed. You could just say you did it. - But also why not tell her before? Or why do you have to do it with her? Go do it by yourself. - Well, you don't know when you're gonna walk past a man. with a loose grip on an ice cream. You don't know when that's gonna happen. - That's true. - I don't-. - He's holding it like this. - Okay, so he gets dared by a Discord server,

which they literally don't see if he does this or not. He could have lied. - [Chanse] Yeah. - He could have just fully played it out in his head. - But he wanted to experience it. - He wanted to experience it. But then he also didn't have to actually eat the ice cream. But he did. - I think once it started he just like blacked out. and just did it. - The rush had to have been frankly awesome. - Yeah. - Yeah. Rollercoaster vibes. - Probably was sick as hell. This is... - It's just-. - I can't believe this.

But peer pressure-. - I feel so bad for her. - The guy is 29. - Boys will be boys. - I'm like, okay, I understood peer pressure. at a certain point in my life. I'm like-. - Yeah. - 29. - I'm not feeling peer pressure like that anymore. I'm not doing that. - He wanted to do it. - He wanted to do it. - It seems like he thought it would feel different. - This is a childhood dream. - [Tommy] Yes. - And he finally made it come true. - Proud of him. - I'm not. - I'm not either. (Shayne laughs). I just feel bad for her. Like, she deserved to know. - I'm not proud of him. (laughs).

- I'm obviously joking. - What did he expect. was gonna happen? - It was a really shitty thing to do to her. - [Tommy] Right. - He stole an ice cream and ran away and left her-. - That was the biggest issue. - With a crowd of people. - Insane. - And she's just like... She's the girl emoji. that's just like... - That could've gone. horribly for her. - Yeah. - No, it was incredibly selfish of him. - She should have been like, "Oh my god, let me buy you a new ice cream. "I don't know what just happened.". - I think this-. - But it's not on her either. - I think this should be a deal breaker for her. - Absolutely. - Absolutely. Without question. - Like, even though he's sorry, I'm just like,

no, that was so disrespectful of him to do to you. - And it's like what other dares or-. - [Tommy] Yeah, when are you gonna be weird again? - Says he's done. Says he's done. But he still was able to do that to her, and I'm just like, that's-. - That's not right. - That's a lot. - 20 years later, he was like, "I was dared to not do a dare for 20 years. "And now..." - Ha ha, got you! There's a whole lot of levels to, there's a lot of red flags. There's probably red flags I'm not even catching. in this story. I don't love this. I don't love how easily she forgave him for such extreme-.

- They're still together? - Yeah. - No, Shayne. - "I just wanna come back to-". - No. - "I genuinely believe he regrets it. "He knows what a stupid (beep) up it was.". I'm like, okay. Like, all right. - Oh. - When you love somebody. - Anyways, moving on. This is a 35-year-old man. "My mother, 58. "My mother's new fiance wants me to call him dad. "He's 24. "How do I navigate this?".

- Wait, the mother's fiance is 24? - [Shayne] This is a 35-year-old man who wrote this. OP is 35. "My mother, who's 58, "her new fiance wants me to call him dad, but he's 24. "How do I navigate this?". - She's dating a 24-year-old? - She's engaged to a 24-year-old, and that 24-year-old wants him to call him dad. - Yeah right. Yeah (beep) right. - You know, age gaps are such an interesting thing to me,

but especially when people have like kids. who are younger than their partner. I'm like, how do you, how? You have to see this. - You gotta know what's going on. Yeah. - "Please buckle in because this is all so weird. "I'm a 35-year-old man, "and for some backstory, my dad died when I was 19, "leaving my mom with me and my two siblings. "I'm the oldest. "It took some time, "but eventually my mom started dating again. "We don't live together per se, "but our houses back onto each other and have a gate,

"so it's pretty common for her to offer to do my laundry. "or me to just go over for dinner or go look after our dog, "that kind of stuff. "Plus me and my siblings go over there. "for dinner every other Friday night or so. "The men she's been dating have been getting younger. "and younger, and I've never had a problem with them. "She's been very open to me and my siblings. "that she wants to get married again, "and we've always been supportive, "at least after the initial shocks, LOL. "The latest guy is by far the most serious, "and they've been been dating since around last June. "He proposed at the start of autumn, "and they want to get married next summer.

"Again, me and my siblings are fine with this. "because it's her life and we trust him. "He's a nice guy and they clearly love each other. "But anyway, so long and short is this weekend her fiance, "let's call him Phil, "calls me and ask me if I could come over. "I say, 'Yeah, sure, I'll be over after work.'. "And I assumed he just needed help. "with some DIY stuff they're doing. "When I get over there, he calls me sport. "and says, 'We need to talk.'. "I should mention this is something he does to me. "and my little brother, "calling us things like kid, sport, scout, little buddy, "or my personal favorite calling us red and blue,

"seemingly out of nowhere. "My brother is 30 by the way. "He tried it with my little sister, 28, too once. "and called her princess once, "but he stopped when she just stared at him.". (everyone laughs). - Okay. I'll wait. - "The thing with Phil is that he reminds me a lot. "of Charlie Day's character in 'Horrible Bosses'. "in that his soul ambition has always been to meet a girl, "get married, and have a family. "When he told me and my brother this, "my brother made some joke. "about how maybe our mom's going to come up short.

"on the last part, and he got very upset, "but they made up after. "Anyway, so I go around and ask if my mom's around, "and he says, no, it's just him, "and that we really need to talk man to man. "I say, sure. "And he starts talking about. "how he's always wanted to be a father, et cetera, "and raise a son to call his own, "and then he drops this bombshell by saying, "'Now I know I can never replace your father, "'the man who made you, "'but it would mean the world to me. "'if you would call me dad.'. "I'll admit it, I snickered a little. "And then I knew he was serious. "because he looked like he was about to cry,

"and he didn't drop it either. "I asked if he really meant it, "and he got really emotional and started talking. "about what it means to be a man. "and how his purpose is to have and provide for a family, "and he wants me and my siblings. "to be a part of that family. "Like, he reiterated he'll never replace my father, "and this did rub me the wrong way a bit, "but he's ready to step up and be my dad. "and provide and protect for me and my siblings. "I just sat there thinking, "dude, I'm a decade older than you. "and live in a separate house. "I don't need providing for,

"and even if I did, I don't think a guy a third of my age. "who works part-time at the hardware store. "and is into collecting manga is the man to do it. "No offense if you are into that, LOL. "Just, I don't know, I was a bit taken aback. "I was in shock, so I just said, 'Okay,'. "and he gets emotional again but in a happy way. "talking about how he wants to go camping. "or go to a baseball game. "I don't even like baseball, LMAO. "And how he joined the Lions this year. "and how he wants to bring me into it too as his boy,

"which just feels so surreal. "Even more so as I'm a Shriner, "so all this talk of service and charity. "isn't the brag he thinks it is. "because again, I'm 10 years older than this guy. "Well, I ended it by just saying, "'This has gotten a bit too weird,' and I was going home. "He got very upset and I left, called my brother, "and he agrees it sounds weird as (beep). "Later my mom called me, and she wasn't disappointed. "but admitted it's made him very upset and depressed. "I told her that if he's embarrassed, he doesn't need to be. "I get he's excited about the marriage,

"and we can just laugh this off as a funny story. "She then said that wasn't what he was upset about. "He, and she too, a bit is upset about the fact. "that he poured his heart out and I rejected him. "She said, 'Yeah, it is a bit kooky, "'but this is how he proves himself he's a man.'. "And I guess I was a bit angry and said something like, "'First off, it's not my job. "'to certify what's between his legs. "'and second, this doesn't prove he's a man. "'It just proves he's a nut job.'. "I apologized immediately, "but she said she didn't want to hear it and hung up. "She called back 10 minutes later, and we apologized,

"and she begged me to just go along with it. "until he has some kids to call his own. "I won't go too much into the details here, "but she sort of let slip they plan to try IVF treatment. "because she's not ready to give up on being a mom just yet. "And while I have my own thoughts. "about whether or not that's a good idea, "I'm not here to litigate on that. "We finished up fine, and I reiterated I'd support her, "and she agreed that it was definitely a stressful situation. "for me, but begged me to at least think about it, "which leads me here.

"I did think it over and obviously I'm going to say no. "I had a dad and he died. "Rest in peace, Dad. "And that's the only dad I've ever needed, I've ever wanted, "and I'll ever bestow that title on. "I'm not asking if someone's unreasonable. "or what I should do, more so what I should say. "This clearly means a lot to him for some reason. "and I deeply love my mom, "so I want to try and minimize the damage, "especially as we are still so involved. "in each other's lives and they live behind me. "How can I make it clear to them as painlessly as possible.

"that I think this is weird and borderline offensive? "I really don't wanna rip the bandaid off. "because I fear what it might do to the family.". - Whoa. - Wow. - This is wild. Okay. I like how the mom almost kind of admits. that she's dating a boy. - A boy. - Like, truly. Like, 'cause she's like, "He's trying to prove that he's a man.". I'm like, you're 58. - Yeah. - You should be dating someone who's been a man-. - Yeah. - For a long time.

You know, it's like describing him. and describing like how he's thinking. is like you're admitting he's way too immature. - [Chanse] Yeah. - [Tommy] Right. - You're admitting it, you recognize it, so you recognize the power imbalance here. - Yeah. - Like, this is not okay. - I can be his mom and his wife. - Yeah, exactly. It's like, you know, we talk about this. 'cause oftentimes when we see these age gaps, it's the man is older. This is no different. This is just as messed up. Like, this is not okay. - [Chanse] 100%. - And especially she's putting her children.

in such a weird position here. - And defending him to them. - Yeah. Like, defending him while also admitting that it's like, hey, I understand that this is a lot. - There's also this element. of he said he poured his heart out to this guy. He's like, "This is what I want. This is what I want.". And the guy said, "No.". - [Tommy] Right. - That's it. You can't control other people. You can say what you want, but you can't make other people. do something they don't wanna do.

Period. - And everyone applauded. - Everyone applauded. - I'll say this too, they're engaged, right? This man is engaged to their mom. I think this would be an inappropriate conversation. even if he was 60 years old. - Absolutely. - Like, it's like no, you're an adult. You're a 35-year-old man. Your father died when you were already an adult. What he said is true. It's like he does not need another father. Like, he had a father. You don't get to do that. Like, that's not the case. - And it's like, would you feel comfortable calling me dad.

'cause that's something I would like? - Right. That's how you offer that thing. - Yeah, exactly. This is, whew, this is a very unique situation. - Yeah. - This is extremely unique. - 24 is so young. - Well, and it's adding his behavior to it too. - Yeah. He can't rent a car. - The detail... - That's exactly correct. He cannot.

- Like, I'm sorry, man, you're not ready to be a father to a 35-year-old. (everyone laughs). Like, you're not. A 24-year-old might be ready to be a father for a like-. - 2-year-old. - [Shayne] 2-year-old. - Right. - But being a father to a 35-year-old. is a whole new ballpark. You don't even know what it's like to be 35. You won't for 11 years. - For another decade and some change. - I'm sorry. You don't get to tell him that'll live his life. when you aren't ready for that either. - [Tommy] Exactly. - This is unfortunately extremely funny.

- Oh yeah. It's hilarious. - Extremely funny. Comments. "I wonder if he grew up without a dad. "He's giving a weird 1950s energy to this whole thing. "that feels like he only knows what dads. "from seeing them on the television.". OP said, "Oh no, his dad's still alive. "Both his parents are. "I've met them. "They definitely feel odd about the whole situation, "but go along with it for his sake.". Someone else said, "Such a crazy situation. "I think you should talk with your mom. "and maybe hang out with her fiance. "but as bros, not some weird dad situation.".

OP said, "I have offered this, "but every time me and my brother do, "he definitely tries to act like the man of the group. "or sets us up for more explicit father-son activities. "or just talks about how desperate he is to be a father. "A personal favorite was a time when he got his phone out. "and started reading some pearls of wisdom. "he'd obviously found online." (laughs). - That's awesome. - [Shayne] Dude, this is-. - Why are they putting up with this? Why are they not communicating, like, "Hey, we don't need you to be a dad.

"We don't like how you treat us. "Like, just be here with us as you and we'll be us.". Like, it really seems that simple. - That's all it takes. - He's like, "Come on, let's rough house,". and they just beat the shit out of him. - I'm also picturing this guy really short, like really little. - I can't help but picture him as The Chosen. - [Chanse] Yeah. - I'm just picturing like, "I've always wanted to be a father.". Like, it's just like (laughs). It should be said this guy, like in a way, this 24-year-old guy's doing nothing wrong.

'cause he's clearly insecure. He's in a weird situation, where if I was in his situation, I would have no idea how to act or think. Like, this is a really weird place to be, and he's trying to solve it in a way. that is not the way to solve it. - Not the way to solve it, yeah. - It's gotta be uncomfortable for him. I don't know what to think. I've never encountered a situation like this. I've never heard of anything like this before. - Nope.

- So let's see what happens next because we have an update. (Chanse and Tommy moan). (crew laughs). "So I told both my siblings, "and we agreed we'd collectively put our foot down with Phil. "at our next family dinner.". - They're gonna kill him. (everyone laughs). - "Especially after an incident. "where Phil referred to my brother as sport. "and asked if he wanted to go see a baseball game with him.". I do love how it's like 1950s. - Yeah. - It's also like, are you paying for the tickets? Are you doing that?

You're providing. You're dad. Yeah, you pay now. - I like to think that the 35-year-old there. is standing there, but still the 24-year-old insists. on getting down on one knee. - Oh yeah. - Being like, "Hey, champ.". And he's just talking right at his crotch. (everyone laughs). Come on. Okay. "Admittedly, I was a bit spurred on by what you all said. "and got involved, "pinging him back with, 'Ah, no tickets for me, Daddy.'. "And my brother responded with, "'Daddy wants me all to himself, hmm? Hot.'. "And Phil took a few minutes to respond.

"before saying he was shocked, speechless, and disgusted.". - Hell yeah. I love this approach. - "He then messaged me in private. "to say he was utterly appalled. "and that he'd never disrespect his own father. "the way you boys did. "I kinda lost it at this point and said, "'Right, that's because you're not my father, Phil. "'You're a 24-year-old man child dating my mother. "'You have no right to my respect, "'especially not the respect a father gets.'. "I immediately said sorry, "but then blocked his number and left the group chat.". - Whoa. - "Apparently he sent a similar thing to my brother. "who responded with more daddy stuff, and Phil blocked him.". (everyone laughs).

"Well, that aside, "I don't think that family dinner is going ahead. "After the original post blew up, "it seems someone from his Lions club found it. "and reported it to their chair or whatever, "and Phil has either been expelled or resigned. "or in the process of one of the two. "He has removed nearly all mentions of the Lions. "from his social media and no longer mentions being a member. "with his last post on it being some cryptic goodbye post. "where he kind of drones on about what it means to be a man. "in the modern day and the duty of fatherhood bestowed. "on all men at birth. "Really weird shit. "My mom called me half in a panic, half in rage after.

"about the stuff I'd been telling about him. "before breaking down and saying we need to meet, "which we did and got my brother to go over too. "I know Phil has temporarily moved back in with his parents. "in the next town over, but from my understanding, "they still want to go ahead with the wedding, "but I think that's more so. "because they've already spent money on it. "I have no idea what's happened with Phil. "or what's going to happen with him, "but I did make it clear to my mom that he's not my dad. "He's not even my stepdad. "I'm not a kid, and he's never going to be either one.

"outside of legal (beep). "She relented pretty quickly. "I think she's finally broken out of her shell at least. "And we've agreed that if things go ahead. "that it's going to be a huge red line. "though I don't know if he'll want to be friends with me. "after all this, LMAO. "Anyway, thanks for the help on the original post, y'all.". I just can't believe... I don't know. This is wild to me like that his parents aren't like, "Hey, stop.".

- Yeah. - "Stop this. This is silly.". (Shayne sighs). I feel bad 'cause the amount of delusion this guy is in. He is living in some sort of-. - I feel bad for the mom too kind of. - I feel bad for kind of everybody. in the situation. - Everybody. - Just need to keep it separate. Just go get married and keep the kids out of it. - Yeah. (groans). Okay. Update number two. - A second update? - A second update. "Bit of an update as I can't respond to everybody,

"but I think the marriage is off. "Phil has gone AWOL again. "and has had a huge argument with his family. "as they've demanded he call off the wedding. "and date people his own age. "This apparently made him snap. "Me and my mom have met his mom and older brother. "who said Phil is very insecure around girls his own age. "and has never been able to talk to them, "hence his preference. "This very deeply upset my mom. "And after some begging from all of us, "she has agreed to push the wedding back, "though she wants to keep dating him. "I have no idea where Phil is, "though his brother assumes he's couch surfing.

"with his D&D friends who have been sending me. "and my brother some not so nice messages. "because clearly we're just jealous of the MILF hunter.". - Oh. - Ooh. - Okay. - I think we have enough here to say this should stop. - Yeah. - Yeah. - [Shayne] I think we have enough. - I'm all full on-. - I think, I don't even know if this guy's. like acting like a 24-year-old. He's acting younger than that. - Yeah. - Wow. - Yeah.

Down with Phil. - Down with Phil. - Phil of the Future, more like Phil of the Past. - That's right, dude. - That was sick. (Tommy laughs). That was not. - Wow. - Wow. That was crazy. What's our wild scale point? - That's a 10. - 10? - That's a 10. - [Tommy] I wanna give it a nine. - I'll give it a a nine. - I'll give it a nine as well. - Nine. Nine's fair. We need to always leave room for it to get crazier. - It's just the delusion is so-. - The delusion was palpable in that one. - Yeah. - [Shayne] That was-. - At least he's consistent, I guess.

- And persistent. - And a lot more than a lot of fathers are. Wow. - Wow. - Wow. - Maybe he would be a good father. - I hope someday. - I mean, if we're playing devil's advocate, the 35-year-old didn't let him, he didn't even get a chance. - He didn't go to the baseball game. - Your father died and this could be your new father. (everyone laughs). - Him like being like, like someone talks to him at the game just like, "I'm here with my dad," and it's just like a 24-year-old. - Hi. - "I'm here with my son right here.".

(everyone laughs). All right, moving on. Okay, this next story comes from r/Relationships. This is a 31-year-old man writing. "My wife, who's 28-". - My wife. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. (Shayne laughs). I'm sorry. - No, it was worth interrupting. - It was worth. - [Tommy] That was really worth it. - You get one. - Sorry. Yes! - "My wife, who's 28-". - My wife. (everyone laughs). - I knew you were gonna do it. I knew you were gonna do it. I was about to. - I won't do it again. - I was about to if you weren't going to.

- I won't do it again. - Okay. - I won't do it again. I swear. I swear. - "My... "Wife, who's 28, wants a divorce. "because I live an entirely different reality. "with my first love, who's 29, in my dreams.". Okay. - In your dreams? - "My wife wants a divorce. "because I live an entirely different reality. "with my first love, a 29-year-old woman, in my dreams.". - No. What? No. What do you mean in your dreams?

Like, when you're asleep? - I guess when he is asleep, he lives a different life with his first love. - Oh, I'm into that. I get a day wife and a night wife. (everyone laughs). - Night wife. - Night wife. This sounds like a romance novel. It would be called "Night Wife". - Wow. Dream wife. - Dream wife. - Oh. - Okay. "I, a 31-year-old man, "have been with my wife for three years. "We had a short engagement, married quickly, "and have a perfectly ordinary existence. "I love her. She loves me.

"We do taxes, housework, watch movies, "all the normal things. "No physical cheating on either side as far as I know. "But here's the thing, I am a lucid dreamer, "which means I can to an extent control my dreams, "which is something I find cool. "as it allows me to go on adventures while asleep. "It also makes scary dreams not so bad. "because I can just wake myself out of them. "Over the last year or so, "I've been having a recurring dream about my ex, "my first love, a 29-year-old woman. "Truth be told, I never got over her.".

Okay. Okay, what? I just feel like you're admitting a thing there. - Yeah. Is she still alive? - We'll find out. - Yeah. "Truth be told, I never got over her. "We were together for five years from 2015 to 2020. "We broke up after I graduated from college. "because she didn't wanna move from New York. "to South Carolina with me, "which is where the biggest industry for my field is. "I was crushed but moved on, "and we've spoken sporadically over the years, "although we never crossed any lines. "I'll admit that I've kept up with her. "on social media a bit, but nothing stalkerish.

"Well, a year ago she announced she was getting married. "and I experienced a resurgence of feelings for her, "although I never acted on them or told her. "That same night I dreamt about her. "for the first time in years. "In the dream, she showed up at my door. "and asked me if I wanted to get coffee. "I said, yes, of course. "The dream, which was not a lucid dream, ended there. "It felt so real. "I couldn't shake the feeling once I woke up. "It felt like we were actually reconnecting. "Since then, I've dreamt about her several times a week, "and I've practiced becoming lucid, "so I've been able to control the outcome.

"more times than not. "We've lived a whole life together over the past year. "Everything from dates to a trip to Paris together, "which we visited while in college. "We even re-walk the same paths we did in real life. "It got to the point I was looking forward. "to going to sleep to be with her. "Fast forward to today, "my wife told me she felt distant from me, "and I started to feel guilty. "because I thought what I was doing was harmless, "but she's obviously noticed a change in me, "so I confessed about all of it. "At first, she thought that I was joking, "but when she realized I was serious,

"she accused me of cheating on her. "and told her mom and sisters. "who are calling me a cheating weirdo. "She even threatened to tell my ex. "so she'll know what a (beep) loser I am. "Now I get that it's not anything a woman would want to hear. "but it's not like I physically cheated. "I don't wanna lose my wife, "but I don't think she can forgive me for this.". - "What a woman would want to hear"? That's a weird way to put that. - It is not like you are physically cheating, but if you are consciously making this choice in your dream,

it makes me feel like you're, I mean, you are making the choice actively. - Yeah. - Which makes me feel like. if the opportunity presented itself, would you make the choice in real life? Because you're consciously choosing to do it. - You're already like practicing making that choice. - You're literally practicing. - He admits in the story, "I never got over her.". - Right. - Yeah. Oh, in writing. You put that down in writing. - You wrote, "I am not over her.". - Right. There we go. - That's a deal breaker. That is a deal breaker for most people.

And he's making the conscious choice to fantasize about this. and he's like, "I'm going to practice lucid dreaming, "so that I can spend time with her.". - Yeah. - And this all spurned on. once he saw that she was getting married, and he is like, "Oh, this resurgence of feelings.". - Like, "Oh, I can't get her anymore.". - There's a lot here that I think is a problem. - I have a question. Can you date another person if you're not over, like, if you haven't gotten, like-. - I think you could. Oh, I think you can absolutely. Dating. Like, if you're talking about early stages of dating,

like I almost think that's important. when it's like to get over someone. But he has been with this person... - For three years. - For three years. - For three years. - [Chanse] They're married. - And he's saying, "Oh, I'm not over this person.". I'm like, she needs to know this. - Yeah. That should have been resolved. - You need to break this off if you can't-. - Okay, great. - Yeah. - That's where I think it's a problem. No, that's, but I also think it's why, you know, I was upfront years ago, when you get out of a serious relationship, when you're dating and you're like, "Hey, I just got out of a serious relationship. "Like, I'm still working.". You're upfront about those things. - Yeah.

- He wasn't upfront about this, and it's like she's noticing he's distant. Now I don't know what you call this, right? 'Cause it's like he's not actually talking to her. Is it emotional cheating? - It's emotional cheating, I guess. - It is. - It is, yeah. - Well, but it's not 'cause the person's not actually-. - To me, I'm like, I don't even care what the classification is. It's a problem. - It's a problem. - It's a problem. - [Tommy] He just isn't invested. - He's not invested in his current relationship. 'cause he's more invested. The way he's talking and writing this out, "I'm excited to go to sleep.". It's like you're not in this current relationship.

You need to respect her and either get out of this. so that she can live her life and stop wasting her time, or you need to figure out and handle your feelings. - That's awesome. - Comments. "Yeah, no, I think this might be a lost cause. "I would certainly consider this cheating. "and I think that it does indeed warrant a divorce. "You clearly don't really love her, "at least not as much as you love your ex.". OP responded, "I do love my wife, which is why I married her. "I just also have feelings for my ex,

"which I should have been honest about. "before we got married. "I didn't mean for this to happen, "but once it did, I wasn't able to stop it. "Living that life with my ex while sleeping. "felt like getting to experience what I missed out on. "in young adulthood. "With that said, my wife left overnight for a hotel. "and I don't know if she's coming back. "I feel awful for hurting her.". - "I wasn't able to stop it"? Oh, you weren't? You weren't? What kept you-. - You practiced. You said you practiced lucid dreaming in order to do this. You're making choices.

- Yeah. What disabled you, huh? No, you are actively doing that. - Or if you're not able to stop it, you're making an active choice to not communicate to her. or to go to therapy and work on this and figure it out. - Yeah. - Someone else said, "I'm asking this genuinely, "not trying to be snarky at all, "what did you think your wife's reaction was going to be? "Did you expect what happened. "or did you think she would be more accepting?". OP said, "I knew she would be upset, "but I felt I owed her an explanation once communicated. "that she felt distant. "I didn't want to gaslight her perception.

"I just hadn't known. "that she even noticed a difference in me. "I just didn't think she would leave. "She's turned off her location. "I have no idea where she is or if she's all right, "and her family won't speak to me now. "I do love her and would like for our marriage not to end, "but that seems inevitable now as I process this.". The way he's writing is not convincing me he loves his wife. I think it's not convincing. - The only thing he did write was tell her. - [Shayne] Yeah. Thank God. - Thank God he told her. - I mean, she was noticing something already. It took her going, "Something's off.".

- He's just so ready to go to bed. He's like, "Okay, time for bed!". - He's like, "Oh boy!". - She's like, "It's 8:00 PM.". He's like popping melatonin. - Yeah. (laughs). - So many. - Okay. - Update. - Whoa. She came outta the dream and they're happily ever after. - Wow. - Wow. - Birth from my head, like Zeus to Athena. - Night wife. - My night wife. - Okay. Update.

"Two days ago I posted about the fallout that occurred. "after I admitted to my wife. "that I had been lucid dreaming about my ex and first love. "over the past year. "After a major blowup. "where my wife called me every name in the book. "and got her family involved, which I understood completely, "so please don't take this wrong, my wife left. "I didn't know where her whereabouts were for over 24 hours. "Early this morning, about 3:00 AM, "she came home and told me she wanted to file for divorce. "She didn't want to have to compete with a phantom. "and deserved better than a shit bag like me.

"But she doesn't want to move out or start the process. "because it's a pandemic. "and she doesn't want to live on one income.". This was written in 2020. "We make roughly the same amount of money. "Me, $90,000 a year after taxes and her, $85,000. "I tried to apologize to her for all the hurt I caused. "by making her feel like she wasn't enough. "to assure her that I do love her, "even though I still love my ex. "and explain to her that I've never physically cheated. "or had any inappropriate conversation with my ex. "But she won't budge. "She doesn't want me anymore. "I can't blame her.

"I was selfish, "and I shouldn't have carried on what I now accept. "to be a one-sided emotional affair. "So I agreed to stay together for financial purposes. "for two years or until the pandemic is over, "whichever comes first. "But she kicked me out of our bedroom. "and basically claimed the second floor for herself. "There's so much tension in the house right now, "so I left as soon as the sun came up. "and went to a coffee shop to do some work. "While there, I received a message on IG from my ex. "that my ex-wife sent her a long message. "from her own account, "telling her about everything that I told her. "I froze because I hadn't spoken to her in a long time.

"But she saw that I had read the message. "and followed up an hour later. "telling me she needed to know the truth. "So again, I confessed expecting to be berated. "and called a loser again. "because I had nothing else to lose. "But she didn't think that my dreams about her were weird. "or creepy. "She thought it was sweet and that I still loved her, "especially with her knowing that I'd never tried. "to have inappropriate conversations. "or force my way into her life. "I'm aware that her not condemning my actions. "doesn't make them right. "or take away from the hurt I caused my wife, "but knowing she didn't think negatively of me.

"made me feel better. "We messaged back and forth for a couple of hours. "talking about our relationship and how it ended. "and the choices we made. "In that, I learned that she and her fiance. "called off their engagement a few months ago. "I also told her my wife was going to divorce me. "because of the revelation. "She expressed her condolences, "and that was the end of the conversation. "I'm home now and I can't help but wonder. "if this is the universe's way of putting my ex. "and I back on the path to reconciliation. "Hate me if you want, "but I made a mistake and I hurt my wife. "and my marriage is over now or going to be. "But knowing that the person I ruined my marriage over.

"doesn't think I'm the scum of the earth. "is worth its weight in gold. "I don't know what will happen now, "but I can't imagine a friendship. "with my ex won't blossom from this at the very least. "I know this won't make my wife happy. "since she contacted my ex to further shame me. "But I may just not tell her. "We are after all divorcing. "I hope the next few months and years can result in healing. "for both my wife and myself. "and that we'll both live happy, fulfilled lives.". I (beep) hate this guy. - Called it. - Don't like him. - I called it.

- I'm like, (beep) you, man. (beep) you. - [Chanse] Yeah. - This 100% confirmed, it's like you were waiting for your moment. to cheat. - Yep. - Oh yeah. - 100%. - Like 100%. - Oh yeah. - And he does not feel bad. - I'm glad your dream practice sessions worked, my guy. Like, congratulations, you got exactly what you wanted. - Dude, give me a break. - It also just might be his delusion too. He said the conversation ended-. - You're right. It may not have been as good as we think. - Yeah, no. He's like, "Finally. Yes.

"Something's gonna blossom from this. "I can just tell. "The universe is working.". And all she said was like-. - She was like, "Oh, that's nice.". - My condolences and that's it. - You're so right. - He's like, "I got her.". - Because I know a lot of dudes out there. will take like any sort of polite comment. as she loves me. - Crumbs. - That's right. - Oh God. That's infuriating. I mean, she clocked it and got out. I mean, living together for two years, their plan is to live together for two years. - Sounds awful.

- That sounds horrible. Good luck to them. - I never wanna live with an ex. - And I also think that's about to end. because he's going to try to date-. - He's gonna move to wherever she is or something. - Yes, he will-. - This is a crazy-. - This is gonna get worse. There's no more updates. 'cause it probably goes worse for him. It was from 2021. But there's been no updates since then. 'cause it probably did not work out. - No. Definitely not. - Okay. - That was also a nine outta 10 for me. - That was a nine outta 10. - I'm gonna give that one an eight.

- Aw. - Yeah, no, I'm giving it an eight because of the, it was dream and it wasn't real. - But doesn't that make it-. - Worse? - Wilder? - Yeah. Oh, three years into marriage? And you go, "I'm in love with my ex.". - Oh, that doesn't make sense. - No. - I don't know. - Our next story. This comes from Two Hot Takes. Shout out to Morgan over there. Love their stuff. "I, a 23-year-old woman, "created a one-to-one scale puppet version of my boyfriend.".

(Chanse yells). "22-year-old man.". - Hell yes. - "And showed it to him during foreplay as a joke.". - Hell yes! - What do you mean a joke? - "Now he hasn't texted me in 12 hours. "and I'm starting to get worried. "How do I get him to text me back?". (Shayne applauds). - I love that. - Now see, this is what I was waiting for. Here's a 10. - Right. Here's the 10. - My friends, we've made it. That is a 10. - I wonder if it's marionette or if it's like hand. - A one-to-one scale puppet. - She's like, "Look.

"I can puppet it.". This is crazy. - So that can't be marionette. - This is crazy. - Him at the bar with his buddies. and he's sitting there with a beer and they're just like, "What's going on, Greg?". And he is like, "I got cucked by myself.". (everyone laughs). - The real Greg comes in, he's like, "Wait...". And it goes back over and it's the puppet. (everyone laughs). With the friends. - What's happening? All his buddies like the puppet more. - Yeah. - Like, he's a really good time. - Yeah. - He drank us under the floor. He's a puppet! (laughs). - He's a dope puppet.

- He's cool. "The title pretty much says it all, "but here's some more details. "My boyfriend of six months and I have had a pretty cut. "and dry relationship up to this point. "I've always been what some people would call as quirky, "so pranks are sort of my bread and butter. "He, John, has expressed. "that he really likes this part of me, "and I'm just happy to be with someone. "who can handle all of my zest, LOL. "Sometimes I worry that he doesn't actually think I'm. "as funny as he says, "but he always reassures me that this is not the case. "One of the ways we really like to express our humor. "to each other is in the bedroom.

"For example, I love to do impressions. "of mostly Disney characters, "such as the paperwork lady from 'Monsters Inc.'. "He sometimes does them too, "but he is not as good at voices. "So here's where I think I may have taken it too far. "I recently bought a sewing machine. "to try and make cosplay costumes and stuff, "but something dawned on me as I was messing around with it. "This was the plan. "We often start sexy time. "with the habitual back rub/massage sort of thing, "and we switch off, "and then we progress into French kissing. "and then full-blown you know what. "One very important fact to tell you.

"is that John does in fact wear glasses, "so I will usually make a point to take them off. "and put them on the table for safety. "During this particular romp in the hay, "I got a really funny idea. "about how to take his glasses off next time, "and I couldn't stop laughing. "He asked me what I was laughing at. "because he has some insecurity about his appearance, "but I assured him that it was nothing like that. "We had our fun and John went home, "but all I could think about was this plan. "So the next day I went to the fabric store. "and bought a bunch of skin colored felt and wire framing. "and cotton and got to work creating a Muppet style version.

"of my boyfriend to put his glasses on. "next time we started getting dirty. "Honestly, the thing was looking pretty good, "and I even found some clothes at Goodwill. "that were his style. "I dressed the puppet in the clothes, "hid them under my collection of Squishmallows. "that's in my room, and invited him over. "To spare you all the explicit details, "we did start kissing and taking clothes off and stuff, "but my hands were shaking. "as I reached up to grab his glasses. "Instead of putting it on my nightstand, "I made a point to say something like, "'I'm just gonna put these right here,'.

"as I stretched over to the Squishmallow. "that was covering the puppet boyfriend's head. "and put the glasses right over his felt eyes. "He got confused, I think, "and looked back to where I put the glasses. "and sat up as a felt version of his face, "very easily identified by the way. "John has red hair and a mustache, "so the glasses on top left little question. "of who he could be. "He was silent for a second. "and then said, 'Is that supposed to be me?'. "As I was laughing, I said something like, 'Do you like it?'. "As I took it out of the Squishmallow pile. "and revealed the entirely Muppet John.

"'Oh, did you make that?' he asked, "and I stood it up off the bed. "and asked him to stand next to it. "'See, it's just like you basically,' I said. "But he still wasn't laughing that much. "I think he saw that the Muppet ended up being. "just a little bit taller than him. "He's 5'7" and probably insecure about that. "The Muppet ended up accidentally being a little taller. "than him, around six foot one based on seeing them. "side by side.". - The Muppet also had a little bit broader shoulders, had a huge (beep). (everyone laughs). - Huge (beep), a better job.

- Fat ass. (everyone laughs). Better job. Yeah. - He was a doctor. - I put a voice box in it and it asked me how I'm doing. - "I noticed his disappointment. "and did a tried and true Disney impression. "to make him feel better. "In my best Goofy impression I said, "'Well, looks like we should call him Big John.'. "John just took the glasses off of Big John. "and let him fall to the floor. "and put the glasses on the nightstand. "and sat on the bed for a while. "We eventually went to Sin City, "but it was a lot quieter than usual. "He left after that, "even though we were planning on having a sleepover.

"He said he wasn't feeling good. "I texted him goodnight and went to bed. "So here's the ish. "This morning I haven't gotten any good morning text. "or any text at all from him, "even though he always sends me a good morning text. "I'm worried that Big John was a step too far, "and that normal John didn't think the joke. "was as funny as I did. "I feel like he's just putting me. "in an uncomfortable position. "by not telling me how this made him really feel, "even though I thought it was pretty funny. "Is this salvageable or am I effed?". - I think Arasha and I did this skit in "Bit City".

- Yeah. (laughs). - That's crazy. I feel bad for him. I don't know. - [Bailey] Do you guys wanna see the puppet? - Yes, I'd love to see the puppet. - [Chanse] Let us see the puppet. - I would like to see the puppet. - This is gonna matter because how sexy is this puppet? - [Shayne] Okay. - Okay. - That's the full version of it. - [Shayne] Okay. - [Chanse] This is... - [Bailey] That's the... (everyone exclaims). (Shayne laughs). - Oh no. So update.

- Update. She made it really ugly. - It's really ugly. - It's a really ugly doll. - The eyes are like bloodshot. The mustache is like strings, and it's like, yeah, the teeth are buckteeth. Yeah, it's terrifying. - I would be humiliated, if someone was like, "That looks just like you,". I'd be like, "I'm gonna go drive off a cliff.". - Yeah. - Like, whoa. - That was rough. - That's real rough. - But in other news, it's not sexy. - I actually think, it's the flip of what we thought. - [Chanse] Yeah, it is the flip. - We thought the puppet was gonna be super sexy. I think actually he would've liked it if it was like,

"Oh, this is you. "This is how I see you.". It's like, "This is how I see you.". And it's like (groans). - It's brutal. He probably felt really bad about himself. I can't believe she uploaded a picture of the puppet. - I know. She's like, "He's mad at this thing?". - I like how this is a Reddit story we know is real. - Yeah. - Oh yeah. - [Chanse] We have the puppet. - We have the puppet. Bring the puppet out. The comments. Someone said, "Girl, what the (beep) is this?". (everyone laughs). - Yeah. Yeah. - Exactly. - Someone else said, "I read the title thinking,

"oh, that's a cute toy, thinking teddy bear size. "Then reread the scale. "I mean, it's not a deal breaker, "but it can come off creepy as (beep).". Someone else said, "The fact he still decided to have sex with you after this. "is what I keep getting hung up on. "I'm sorry.". Yeah, I think six months into dating. maybe is too short of a time. - I did react to that earlier in the thing. I was like, "Six?" - Six? - Six months. - Six months. - This is new. - I think that's like, you're married and you pull that out. - Yeah. You're married. - Or maybe just a couple years.

- A couple years. - Yeah, get like five years in. - Get like 10 years in. - Yeah. - Maybe. (Shayne laughs). Update. - Puppet came alive. - Puppet's alive. - Whoa! - And it killed a man. - Oh shit. - "Not sure why mods deleted my last post, "but so many people were asking for updates. "that I'll leave the original in the comments. "It's really funny to read back, "but here's what happened in the last week. "So it's been a wild couple of days or so,

"and I've honestly been a little depressed. "at the negative reaction from everyone. "After my boyfriend John left. "after he did the no pants dance. "in front of the puppet, Big John, "he didn't text me for like a day and a half. "I was really starting to get worried. "and believe some of the comments. "that I was a serial killer.". Can I vent really quick-. - [Chanse] Yeah. - About something? I kind of hate how Redditors can't say "had sex.". They refuse to say, "So we had sex.". - Why? - They always say-. - They're like, "Did the deed.". - No pants dance, or we did the deed,

or we went to Sin City. - It's doggo coded. - We did the dirty. I'm like, just say you had sex. - Well, maybe it was not specifically sex. - Okay. - They did like paddy whack with each other's genitals. or something? - Yeah, maybe. Maybe that's... - All right, fair. - Not everyone likes sex. There's a lot of sides out there. - I know, I know. But like it's so common in Reddit posts to just be like, but even then just be like, "So then we went down on each other.". - That's true. - I think it's less cringey than being like, "So we went to Sin City.". I'm like, don't.

It's just a funny trend I've noticed with Redditors. where they cannot say that. I'm like, you're anonymous. - Right. - That's so true. - I'm like, just say it. - You included a picture of this puppet. - [Shayne] Puppet, dude. - And you can't say "we had sex"? - [Chanse] Yeah, that's fair. - "I was so sad that I didn't even wanna look. "at the sewing machine to make my custom Disney ears with. "because it just reminded me of Big John. "Speaking of Big John, I hung him up in the closet. "so I didn't have to look at him.". - Wait, it just reminded her of Big John, not her boyfriend?

- Just Big John. - That is crazy. - "I was so ashamed. "I was drawing when my phone buzzed. "and I saw it was finally John. "All it said was, 'Hey, can we talk?'. "I was super nervous, and he came over to my place. "It was awkward at first because it had been so long. "since we saw or talked to each other, "and I honestly thought things were gonna end, "especially after reading all the comments. "However, he apologized for his behavior. "and told me something that cleared things up. "So apparently his mom has been cheating on his dad. "with multiple younger men for years, "and he and his dad just found this out the other day,

"the day I made Big John. "He wasn't upset about Big John at all. "I could tell he was still upset. "and my instincts were saying I should do a Disney voice, "but I considered the comments from the last post. "and decided just to say, 'I'm sorry that happened to you. "'I hope your family is okay.'. "Then the most surprising part, he said, 'I'm sorry too.'. "And then in his adorabley not very good singing voice. "sang, 'Big John never bothered me anyway. "'I have something for him actually.'". I don't know how he sang that. "And brought out one of his favorite slap bracelets. "that his mom got him as a kid.

"He pulled me into a hug, "and we danced like we were Cinderella. "and Prince Charming boyfriend. "He tried to dip me, but he is not very strong, "so it created a funny moment where we kissed. "and then he led me to my royal suite. "and, well, you can probably guess the rest.". - I... - So I am about to cry, which is funny. - I have tears in my eyes. - That's really funny that I'm about to cry now. - "We got on the bed, "and normal John had some smears on his glasses. "after kissing. "He asked if there was anywhere. "or anyone that he could put these on.

"I brought out Big John and his hand fell off, "but it was like a fairytale romance. "when normal John placed the glasses. "on Big John's cute nose. "So for now it seems like a happy ending. "I'm sorry I didn't post any pics with the original post, "but after seeing John's reaction, I was so embarrassed, "and some of the comments were so mean. "that I wanted to just destroy Big John. "and never think of him again. "But there were some very kind people. "who sent me private messages that made me feel a lot better. "and proud of my quirkiness, which could very well be autism. "as some commenters have stated.

"Getting the test in a couple weeks. "Also, stop thinking I would use Big John. "for the Devil's Tango.". (everyone laughs). - Jesus. (Shayne laughs). God. - It caught me off guard. "He is strictly an awesome way for normal John. "to have somewhere to put his glasses. "So after all this time, "I've gained the courage to share Big John with you. "like all of you have asked. "I was happy with how it turned out. "and even happier that my beloved loved him as well.".

Okay. - This is making me realize there is someone for everyone. (everyone laughs). You are not alone. - Yep. - No, they sound like an adorable couple. - [Tommy] Yeah. - And honestly, they got past this, they're perfect for each other. - They're set. They're good. - That is so beautiful. - Yeah, I was about to cry. and then I remembered what the puppet looked like. - Yeah, that's true. (Tommy laughs). - Exactly. - That is so gorgeous. - That is a very sweet story. - He started singing a "Frozen" reference. Come on.

- They're extremely vulnerable with each other. in a way that is simply adorable. - Beautiful. - That is a hilarious story. - That's three outta 10 wild. - I like that she addressed it wasn't a sex thing. - Yeah. - Sorry, a Devil's Tango thing. - The Devil's Tango. - Devil's Tango. - God. We need to have a running list. of all the ways Redditors have referred to sex. - [Chanse] Yeah. - Or just anything revolving sex. Just it's so funny to me.

Okay. That was a great one. - That was a great one. - That was a great one. That was sweet. That turned very sweet. Very happy. Okay, here's our last story. This comes from Relationship Advice. This is a recent post. As of reading this, this is not that old, which is always great. - Okay. - Okay. This is a 42-year-old woman writing this. "My husband, who's 42, has informed me he intends. "to go on a gaycation with his brother-in-law, "a 35-year-old man, in Ibiza. "How do I handle this?".

- Okay, wait-. - Well, first of all, pronounce it properly. Ibiza. - Ibiza. (everyone laughs). - Okay. - Okay. "Hi there. "I really wish I didn't have to make this post, "but here goes. "So me and my husband have been happily married. "for about 16 years, give or take. "We both have stable careers, good family life, "and are fairly fortunate. "despite the cost of living racking the UK right now. "We have two boys, 15 and 10, "and up until this Sunday thought we had it pretty good. "We argue sometimes, of course, but it never gets too bad.

"And we have a pretty decent sex life with some exploration, "but I won't get into that. "Long and short is on Sunday. "just after I dropped our boys off at their friends, "my husband asked me if we had the house alone. "and more importantly, do I have a minute? "I said yes, and he sat me down, "then got out this printed poster for some sort of orgy. "and started explaining to me the concept of a gaycation. "How it's where straight men go to somewhere. "with sun, sand, and booze. "and become gay for the duration of the trip, "but that's fine because it doesn't actually count.

"because what happens on the gaycation. "stays on the gaycation. "I was just completely silent and mortified. "Even more so when he said he was looking. "into booking a trip to Ibiza next year. "with his brother-in-law, his sister's husband, "to experience it for himself. "When he finally let me speak, "I just said, I need him to be clear with me. "Is he gay? "Because if yes, that's okay, "but we need to figure out what happens going forward. "I didn't let myself get angry or upset. "I was just stunned. "He swore up and down he's not gay.

"and he's 100% attracted to women. "and of course still loves me and our boys. "So I said, 'Well, do you think you're bi maybe?'. "And he got very defensive. "saying how I need to drop the accusations. "and that this is the beauty of the gaycation. "It allows straight men to experience gayness. "without actually being gay. "and how it's like going to an aquarium.". (everyone laughs). "And again, he was adamant he doesn't find men's bodies. "or genitalia exciting at all, "but he needs to experience this apparently.

"I said, well, I'm really not comfortable. "because even if he was bi, "this would be explicitly cheating on me, "and he got very angry and reiterated he's not. "because that's the beauty of the gaycation.". - No! What is-. - "I just had enough and left the room.". - Well, honey, that's the beauty of the gaycation. - That's the beauty of it. - Anything goes and nothing counts there. - It's kinda like a lucid dream. - Yeah. - "I ignored him for the rest of the day, "but we spoke at tea. "where I again asked him why does he wanna do this so badly.

"if he's not gay?". - Yes! - "He said he how he's interested. "in how gay men's lives differ to straight men's. "And that unfortunately, once the gaycation begins, "it's simply impossible for a man to resist. "and he must surrender himself mind, body, and soul. "to the gaycation or be destroyed." (laughs). - What? (Shayne laughs). - What is... - What? - "I really can't put into words how surreal it was. "because he was speaking so matter of factly, "and he again insists this is a thing. "that straight men do all the time. "and how he's actually doing it a bit late.

"I just said to him, if he has any love for me, "then he can't go ahead with this, "and if he does, the marriage will be dead. "We didn't speak anymore after that. "Since then he's mentioned no more of it. "But somehow, and this is what scares me a lot too, "that decision genuinely seems to be tearing him up. "He didn't go into work on Monday. "and only went in a half day yesterday. "because he told me he just felt too ill. "And he just looks distraught every time I see him. "I really don't think he's wholly gay though. "I can absolutely believe he's bi. "But I'd rather we talked about that in a healthy way.

"rather than this incredibly weird denialism. "around going on a sex holiday to Ibiza. "Has anyone known straight guys to do this. "and come back and just go back to being straight? "Like, surely that can't be a thing that happens. "I'm so out of my depth here, and I just don't know. "how to even initiate the conversation. "For the record, "I also haven't mentioned it to his sister yet. "I don't know how I'd even break it to her. "Thanks for any help. "I just don't even want to think, "so being able to get this out there has helped. "even just a little bit. "Edit, wow, this blew up.

"This has been incredibly sobering. "and I think I've now confirmed. "that I already knew to be the case. "The marriage is dead one way or another. "In a way, I was in denial about that. "I've contacted my sister-in-law, "and she initially screamed at me calling me a liar, "and even insinuated I was trying to steal her husband. "She rang me back shortly after, apologized, "and admitted she was in deep, deep shock. "I have asked my parents to look after the boys, "and we're going to meet tomorrow to discuss this deeper. "I have also texted my husband. "and told him we will need. "to make alternative accommodation arrangements,

"but he will not be sleeping here tonight. "and a bag will be waiting for him. "PS, I see a lot of people asking about the aquarium. "and at risk of doxing myself, "there's a pretty famous aquarium in the UK called The Deep. "At the very end, you walk through a tunnel. "that goes underneath the main fish tank. "so it's quite immersive, I suppose. "My husband explained the aquarium thing. "in that it's a bit like that. "You go there and you observe the fishes, "you even get a bit up close, "but you never actually enter the water, "get emotionally invested or become a fish, gay, "so it doesn't really count.".

(Tommy laughs). "It was very bizarre analogy, "and I pointed out it still makes no sense, "and he just got more in a huff. "and how I just don't get it. "And frankly I still don't.". - Okay, but you're in the water. You're not observing the fishes. You're on the vacation. - You're all the way in the water. - Yeah, like you're-. - You're a fish. - You're a fish. - He might not be a fish. He might not be a fish. - But he's swimming with the fish. - But he's swimming with the fishes, yes. He might not be a fish, but he's definitely paddling in the water.

I will say I have been out, I've lived in West Hollywood for a long time. For those who don't know West Hollywood, it's a super gay place. It is gay everywhere. It's gay and yeah, it's gay everywhere. And going out there, there's a whole strip of like 17 bars. that are all gay bars. - [Tommy] Yep. - And living there for six, or I've lived there for three years. and specifically in West Hollywood. But living there, there have been so many people. who have their straight friends come visit or come move here.

and they will be in our friend group. and they will come out with us. and they will go out and be a part of our group, but they are straight. And they'll get hit on and it'll happen. And sometimes, sometimes they might even go home. with a person. They'll experiment. It's very normal. It's a normal thing. You can go, you can experiment. And then they're like, "Yeah, that actually wasn't my thing. "I am straight.". And then everyone's like, there's the stigma of people who are like, "No, you're not! "You're not straight anymore 'cause you did that thing!". Well, I did that thing, I didn't like it,

and now I know what I like. - Right. There's nothing wrong with figuring that out. - I just wanted to say that before we get into this. - Totally, totally. - Thank you. - She's like, "Well, he's gay.". And everyone listening is probably like, "Well, he's gay.". - That's a gay man. - He has to be gay. No, he doesn't. - He's probably bi and never experimented at all. - He could be bi. He could be straight and wants to experiment still. He's like, "Oh, that's something that I wanna try.". And then he might like it, he might not. - I don't think the issue here is his sexuality.

- No, it's not. - The issue is he's married and he wants to go to a place, he's literally like, "I wanna go have an orgy.". Like, it's like-. - Is he gonna have an orgy? Did he say-. - But that's what he showed her. That's what it says. - That's the beauty of the gaycation. - She described it as an orgy poster, but it might just be a bunch of half naked men. - But like the problem is like he's still describing, like what he's describing is inferring. that he's going to go-. - I wish she would've asked. - Be in a situation where it's-. - He did say mind, body, and soul. - Yeah, it's also like, even if it's a situation. where it's like, "Oh, I'm gonna go, I'm not gonna have sex,

"but I'm gonna go watch some other people. "that are there have sex.". It's like, that's still cheating. What you're telling me is, what she's upset is that it's like, hey, what? Like, this is a whole lot of layers. She doesn't even seem to be upset about it. Yeah, I think she's trying to make sense of it. I don't know. You're right. There's some vagueness to what is being described here. He's explaining it like an aquarium. So that's the best we have. - Which is awesome to be... - A fish. - Right. It's like, oh, I'm gonna go watch the little things.

do their little thing. It's like, okay, well, buy a ticket. and give me the money then. - Whoa. Yeah, the fish make the proceeds from the-. - As you know, as we all know, all the fish in an aquarium are rich. - I understand though her inferring-. - Of course. - [Shayne] And it's what I'm inferring, - I would think that too. I'm like, are you gay? - Well, no, I'm saying my assumption. that this is gonna involve sex. - Sex. Yeah. - This is going to involve something, you know, like kissing. - Yeah. - Like, anything sort of-.

- When he said mind, body, and-. - Body. He added body to that. - He did add body to that. But it's like I'm picturing gay. as in like happiness, going dancing. I have a whole different experience. - But he's just gonna be gay in that time period. - Yeah. (everyone laughs). - I guess what I'm-. - You can be gay without having sex. - I know. I know. - Look at us right now! - I'm not (beep) anyone right now. - I know. - Not a penis to be seen. - Right now I'm not (beep) anyone. - And I'm still gay. - It's just like, but like-. - You can go be, being gay is, it's a spirit.

(everyone laughs). It is. It's an energy. Like, it's not just like-. - And that's the beauty of the gaycation. - That's the beauty of the gaycation. - Just like on the beach drinking a pina colada. just like, "I'm gay right now.". (everyone laughs). - Exactly! - Out of a little straw with an umbrella. Yes! You can be gay without the sex. You can just go be like, just go be gay for night. Go dance. Go to your local gay bar and be gay for a night. - You can be straight and do those things too, right?

- Can you? - I don't know. - You know what? I certainly can't. - I haven't been to a straightcation. - Guys, let's go on a straightcation. - Most cations are straightcations. - Why can't she go with him? - That's what I was thinking. - That's what I was saying. - Let's disguise her as like a little twink. - And then if he's... Nope. She can just go. (everyone laughs). - No. - But if she goes with him. and if he's being honest about being straight, then he has someone to like hook up with.

Like, he gets to go do the thing. and you get someone that you love that you're married to. to go have sex with. Well, that's... She should go with him. I'm into that. I'm like, she should go be gay too. - This is the resolution. - Yeah. - [Tommy] This is our answer to this. - Wouldn't that be so much more fun if you're straight. to go on a gaycation with your wife? - Yeah. I mean, the main take is like, this isn't gonna work out. Obviously he needs to go do this, and that doesn't work with her. So this obviously this just,

this isn't gonna work out this way. He should still go on the gaycation. 'cause that's his journey. They should break up. and she should find someone who doesn't want to go do that. Ya ya ya. I just wanted to-. - I'm just so mad. I'm not mad, but I'm just like... I just want more communication. Is there an update? - We need far more clarification about what's going on. - I need to know what is happening-. - 'Cause I've never heard of this in my life. - It also sounds like someone has sold him. on this gaycation. - The brother-in-law. - Yeah. That's what I'm thinking too.

- In Ibiza. Okay. Comments. "Your husband isn't proposing a gaycation. "He's proposing cheating on you with men. "while using magical thinking to pretend it doesn't count. "The fact that he's planning this with his sister's husband. "makes it even more disturbing. "His bizarre explanation about surrendering mind, body, "and soul isn't straight man curiosity. "It's someone desperately trying. "to justify exploring his sexuality. "while keeping his heterosexual marriage. "His depression about not being able to go. "isn't about missing a vacation. "It's about being forced to confront his sexuality. "without his convenient.

"what happens in Ibiza stays in Ibiza excuse. "His meltdown over not going shows how desperately he wants. "to avoid facing this reality.". OP responded, "I read over this multiple times. "and I guess the worst part. "is I know you're completely right.". Lastly, someone said, "I'm a straight European man. "and this sounds completely absurd. "If it's so normal, why then is the only thing. "that shows up on Google a docuseries from 2016?". - Yeah. I've never heard of gaycation. - I've never of this before. Anyways, update. - Okay, let's (beep) ride.

- Yeah. Oh yeah, I'm ready for this. - Okay, I am really hoping, I'm really hoping that he is straight. and just wanted to go have fun. That's my hope. - Okay. "So when I last posted, I'd contacted my husband. "to tell him he wouldn't be staying at home tonight. "and a bag would be waiting for him. "As you can imagine, we argued quite badly. "I won't go into the specific details, "but no, I'm 100% on board with the fact. "at a minimum he's bi, might even be gay altogether. "We've had arguments in the past, "but I've genuinely never seen him.

"have such a childish tantrum before. "Screaming about how I just don't understand the gaycation. "Absolutely despise that phrase now. "And insinuating I'm actually homophobic. "because I refuse to allow him to participate. "in this cultural exchange with the gay community. "A lot of you said to ask him if it'd be acceptable. "if the roles were reversed, "and I did ask him, would it be acceptable. "if I went and slept with other guys during that week? "Like (beep) clockwork he was very angry and offended. "saying it's completely different. "because a gaycation means nothing.

"and what happens on the gaycation stays on the gaycation.". - So he did wanna sleep with people! - "So it doesn't actually count. "Whereas I'd just be straight up cheating. "Well, I turned it around on him. "No, but you see what happens in Manchester. "stays in Manchester. "It doesn't mean anything. "It doesn't count. "It's like birdwatching. "And I think it got through to him. "He went all quiet and then started crying, "admitting the thought of me sleeping with another man. "is destroying his heart, but relationships need sacrifices. "So agreed while in tears.

"that when he goes on the gaycation, "I'll get one week in Manchester to do whatever I want. "He doesn't want me to, but that's fair in a twisted way, "he supposed. "I told him to get out of my house. "Thankfully he left without a fight. "I know it's incredibly petty, "but I also drained the joint bank account, legal in the UK, "so he couldn't try to use it against me. "About an hour later I got rang up by his mom, "my mother-in-law, "who just screamed and screamed at me. "about being a cheating whore. "What about the kids-" - Wait, what? - He must have... - Yeah, he said some stuff.

- "When I finally got my composure back, "I just said, 'Ask your son about the gaycation.'. "Obviously at first she got angry, "but I said, 'No, just ask him about the gaycation. "'He'll explain.'. "But she called me a fucking joke and hung up. "Later on getting into the evening, "I got another phone call from her in floods of tears. "She was very apologetic, "and I told her she doesn't need to be the one to apologize. "She was so upset she put father-in-law on the phone. "who while he sounded calm I could just sort of tell he was. "on the war path. "Again very apologetic and said he overheard that phrase,

"asked my husband, and husband initially said, "'No, it's nothing,' before explaining. "how it's a modern thing men do. "And gave them the same spiel about how what happens. "on the gaycation, men cannot resist the gaycation, "how a man must surrender to the gaycation, et cetera. "Father-in-law just said they told him to leave. "or they'd call the police. "Don't care where he goes, but he wasn't staying there. "My husband tried to call me while I was on the phone, "but I just ignored it. "And father-in-law just said he was so sorry for me. "and they have my corner in this, so that's one thing.

"Told them to be there for their daughter. "because it sounds like brother-in-law is involved. "Husband didn't tell them that. "And father-in-law just said he had to go. "because he was so, so, so angry. "Got a text from my husband after the phone call, "which was all weirdly rambly, "saying how I'd abused the gaycation to destroy his marriage. "and destroy his life, "and again, insinuated I, and his parents, "was homophobic for doing such a thing. "Told him we'll talk when he grows up. "and blocked his number. "I took a day off work myself. "to have the locks changed this morning.

"so that 500 pounds gone, whatever. "At least I know he won't be coming back. "I'm going to look into how to proceed with a divorce. "and then we'll move from there. "So I haven't yet met with sister-in-law. "She was in such a state. "and has taken this far, far worse than I have. "for reasons that'll be clear soon. "We're going to maybe try tomorrow. "But we did talk over the phone. "and I eavesdropped on the conversation with her husband. "where she put her phone on speaker and I went on mute. "Her husband got home earlier. "She made him come home, told him there was an emergency. "and just said to him, "'Can you please explain what a gaycation is?'.

"She told me afterwards she was praying he'd look confused. "or just be like, 'What?' or anything like that. "But instead he just sat her down. "and explained that a gaycation is a new thing. "where straight men go to gay hotspots. "and participate in gay sex acts, "but it doesn't count because there's no investment. "and because what happens on the gaycation. "stays on the gaycation.". If I hear that phrase one more time. - Oh, I hate this. - "He said it's like writing down angry thoughts. "and putting them in a drawer. "You never have to see them again.". - Oh God. - "The whole time sister-in-law is in tears.

"as he just calmly bats off the same points my husband did. "about how it doesn't count. "and he even did the whole, 'It's impossible to resist. "'You must surrender or be destroyed' shit. "I seriously think they must be speaking to a dominatrix. "or something because surely neither of them. "are that into this to actually make that up on their own. "I really don't want to go into what was discussed. "for her sake, but it did become very apparent to me. "that the brother-in-law is into sissy hypno porn. "and at times conflated that. "with the concept of a gaycation. "There was this utterly surreal moment.

"where sister-in-law is just trying to wrap her head. "around this while also in floods of tears, "and he explains so genuinely, so matter of factly. "that for most men the gaycation is either a one-time. "or annual thing, but some men go on the gaycation for years. "and others simply never return because they use hypnosis. "and mind control to be totally feminized into a state. "of permanent pseudo-gayness. "She said in disbelief, "'Surely if you're taking it up the arse willingly. "'because you want to that makes you gay.'.

"And he said, "'No, because that's the beauty of the gaycation. "'You can do all this gay stuff but you don't interact. "'with the wider gay life experience.'. "She asked him if the sissy stuff is what he wanted. "and he said not on a long-term basis. "and was adamant this is something all straight men do, "but she wouldn't get it because she's a woman. "Then there were more insinuations of homophobia. "Well, that marriage is dead too, I suppose. "The whole ordeal ended. "when she said to him he has a choice to make.

"and he said no, he doesn't need to make this choice. "because the beauty of the gaycation. "is that it allows him to keep his marriage-". - Oh my! - "Because it doesn't count. "She said that's not the choice. "The choice is whether he's leaving the house. "that night or she is. "The only good thing is he did leave. "Me and sister-in-law spoke about it after that, "and I'm just still utterly stunned. "I understand she's gone to her parents for support. "What exactly did we do to have our lives destroyed. "in such an abrupt, bizarre, embarrassing way? "Per some advice. I'm going to look at devices. "and bank statements. "to see if I can find any definitive proof of cheating.

"After that, I suppose I'll figure out. "how I tell the boys why their father won't be coming home. "Edit, spoke to my other sister-in-law. "My husband's family is older sister, "him, younger sister/original sister-in-law. "and gave her a skimmed down version of it. "She asked her husband. "and thankfully he was deeply confused. "But then mentioned about two years ago at a birthday party, "he was approached by my husband and brother-in-law. "about signing up to some online bootcamp. "around BDSM cross-dressing. "He assumed they were taking the piss out of him, "so told them to fuck off.

"and never really thought of it again. "The fact that this has been going on for that long. "is making me want to throw up. "PS, for the poster who said about divorce options, "I'm actually going to look into adultery. "because plain and simple, that's what this is.". - Wow. I am so disappointed in this dude. - Yeah. - And I feel sad. - It's sad. - [Tommy] Yeah. - I think this is sad. I think this is sad. 'cause it shows the lengths people go to like, they can't confront things.

- Yeah. - There's so much like around it. that they can't just like face the, it's so insane. - It's the world we live in. - It is. I was about to say the societal pressure. - It's shamed so much. You're not allowed to like... I think what you said was important earlier. of like people's ability to experiment, 'cause clearly he never could in his life. He's now been married for 16 years. He's got something inside that he's struggling with. And it's when you have a desire,

when there's something in you. and you are literally pushing it down, and I'm talking a realm of anything. - Yeah. - That leads to destructive behaviors. - [Chanse] Yeah. - 'Cause you're trying to kind of like find some other path, and he's found his way here to convince himself. this is how he can do it. I want to feel really badly for the guy, and I feel bad for something that is going on inside. - But unfortunately-. - But where we have ended up now is, that's the problem.

- And he had an out. Well, he's been doing it for a long time, but she asked him, she was like, "I still love you. "But we need to figure this out right now. "Like, what you're talking about. "Like, I'm your wife of 16 years. "This is the time to figure it out and talk with me, "communicate.". - [Tommy] Right, right. - And he didn't do that, which it is a lot of pressure and it's a lot on him. - No, and it's-. - The only way to do it without blowing up. - Yeah, yeah, 'cause this is like, it's just tough.

Like, it's disrespectful. It's disrespectful on so many levels. I'm a little curious, I'm curious what your thoughts are 'cause... This is the thing, she's got put through a whirlwind, right? So any decisions she's making, it's like, I understand, this is all happening so fast. Her going to his parents. and telling them, "Ask about the gaycation,". do you think that's in a way, like, did she need to do that? Like, 'cause is it in a way kind of outing him.

to his parents? - Yeah. - And like their reaction, the dad's reaction has me like, okay, like what do his parents think about the possibility. of him being gay? - Yeah, that sucks. - Like, because there's a reason. he is pushing it down so hard. At the same time, I'm like, like I said, what she's going through, I'm like-. - Oh, it's awful. - And you're worried about what the ramifications. of separating are gonna be. But it's just like, so I'm not mad at her.

I'm not saying she's an asshole, but it's just like... - Right. There's definitely homophobia in the story. - [Shayne] Sure. - Like, some of the reactions, I mean, yeah, it's like, you know, oh, you're cheating. But to be like, "I'm so angry!". It's like okay, you're adding on a layer of also, "Oh my god, my adult son is gay. "I'm gonna go blow up." You know? - Yeah. - Or gay-ish or whatever. - Yeah. It's just really, it's sad on so many levels.

'cause it's also sad that he didn't feel comfortable. at any point, and this is his own thing, this is his own battle, to talk to his wife and be like, "You know, I wonder if I have feelings. "I wonder if I,". like, you should feel comfortable talking about that. - Maybe they could have done the gaycation at home. with one person and had a mutual experience. - Even just, or just like-. - [Tommy] Talk about it. - Maybe talking about it would be enough for him. - [Tommy] Well, obviously, yeah. - Like, oh my god, that would've been freeing for him.

to be like, "Oh, and that's okay.". This guy is struggling it seems like. with not being okay with something. - Yeah. - That's all he needs. That's all he needs. He's trying to find a way of being like, "And this doesn't count.". And he kept reiterating it. - Yep. - That's all he needs. Just come out. Just come out. It's like it's a hard-. - Oh, it's so hard to do. - Just do it. Just start talking about it. Well, that's the block. That's the block. - I know. - [Chanse] That's the whole thing. - And I think it's very clear. to me like from the subtleties of like, oh, and nobody in his life is okay with it.

We are not... I mean, she did say like, "I'd be okay with this,". but who knows where up into his life. how everybody's talked about it. - [Chanse] That's true. - So it is a tragedy. - It's sad. - It's very sad. But at the end of the day too, like they're gonna divorce, he will be single and-. - Here's his opportunity. - Now we will see. Anyways, wildness scale. - 10 outta 10. - That's the 10. - [Shayne] That could be the 10.

- And that's the beauty of the gaycation. - And that's the beauty of-. - Shut up! - What happens in the gaycation stays in the gaycation. - It's also like, ugh, I hate this guy going to Greece. And then like taking advantage of all these gay people too. It's like, "I'm straight and I'm just gonna do it here, "and then it won't count. "No strings attached.". What? (beep) off. - These have been wild. - Those are wild. - These were really wild. I will be thinking about these ones for a while. - Yeah.

- Wow. Thank you both for being here. - Hey, thanks. - [Shayne] Thanks for listening. - This is a lot of fun. What's this? - Jerry Spruce. - This was really fun. Man. Okay. Let us know your thoughts on these. - Yeah, we need to hear. - 'Cause I'll be processing these for a while. And let us know what other themes. and subreddits you want us to cover on this show. because the stories just keep coming. - That's right, baby. Just like me. - Oh. - What?

- Nothing. (everyone laughs). - All right, we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye! - Goodbye!