The Most Self-Centered People On Reddit | Reading Reddit Stories

- Hello, and welcome to "Reddit Stories.". I'm Shayne, and today we're doing a classic. "Am I the Asshole," a bunch of "Am I the Asshole" stories, determining who is in the right and who is in the wrong, and I'm joined by two people who are. not the asshole. - But we have them. - Courtney and Arasha. (Courtney laughs). - Hi-da. - That was crazy. - What? What's this? - My tattoo? - Oh. Yeah. (Shayne laughs). That's so pretty, I never.

saw those colors up there. - I got a little tattoo. It is technically a Smosh tattoo. (Arasha gasps). - Oh. - It's for the funeral. Hang on, sorry. - Yeah, the match. from the funeral. trailer. - Yeah it's the match because-. - Whoa. - With every time the match is struck, it's like reigniting Smosh, and then also like that era reignited my love for the job. and the love for the craft. and made me believe I could be a director someday. - You are a director. - Thanks, like technically yeah, but like, you know? - No?

No, I don't. - No? - No. - I've heard that these stories today are pretty good. - Really? - There's some. pretty juicy stories. - Thank God - I'm already reading. the title of the first one, and I'm like, okay. - Let's go. - Yes, yes, yes. - Get into it. "Am I the Asshole for telling my mom. to never touch my stuff again. after she lost my Louis Vuitton bag?". Okay, "So I, a 15-year-old girl, have always wanted a Louis Vuitton purse. I've always wanted something expensive of my own,

as all my things are hand-me-downs from my older sisters, as we're not the richest of people. Eventually I decided that if I wanted my purse, I'd get it myself, so I got a job at a local restaurant. and started to save up my money. While I worked, I looked at purses. and decided that I liked a little bag. It was expensive, but after a few months, I had the money. I quickly went and bought my bag. I didn't even let my family touch it when I got home. I didn't even wear it for the first week, as I was too scared to damage it. One day after school, I came back home. and went into my room to look at my bag,

but when I got in, it was gone from its place on my desk. I looked around my room to see if I'd moved it. and just forgot, but I couldn't find it. I went out and asked my sisters, but they said that they hadn't touched it, so I went and found my mom. I asked her if she'd seen my bag, and she said she'd shown it to her friend, and her friend had liked it. and asked if she could borrow it. My mom had said yes. I hadn't even used it yet, so to say the least, I wasn't pleased by this news. I blew up at my mom telling her not to touch my stuff,

and she said that her friend would treat it well. and I was being dramatic. I got grounded and was told to stay in my room. since I was acting like a child over a bag. The next day I asked my mom about the bag. and she had an uncomfortable look on her face. Instantly I knew something was wrong. She wouldn't say anything, but after a while, she'd finally admitted that her friend had lost the bag.". - Oh my god. - "And she didn't plan. on replacing it. I was furious. I exploded at her saying that she and her friends. shouldn't have touched it in the first place. and to never touch my things again.

I also said some other hurtful things. that I don't care to repeat. I ended up making her cry, and my sisters are calling me an asshole. because it was just a bag and I was being dramatic. So, am I the asshole?". (Arasha sighing). (Courtney groaning). - Yikes. - Dang, that's so devastating. Like, I remember when I got my first job, and like the first things that I bought for myself. and how proud I was to have those things, and for those things to be mine. - Yeah. - Because I'm number five. outta seven kids, like, it was a long time.

until I actually had like my own new clothes, so I feel for her. - No, definitely. I think a big, something that's being discounted a lot. I think by the mom and by the mom's friend, and potentially other people in the story as well. is the age of this person. Like, she's 15, so I think a lot of people are like, "Oh, you're being silly. Oh, you're being this," and it's like, it's a very real thing to care about a material item. and make it this like prized possession that you. are really delicate around.

And then to have somebody truly be so careless with it, like that would upset anybody. - Yeah. - Yeah, like if it was. a person and another person who weren't related, or like they're both adults, like this would be not okay. - Agreed. - Like, at all. But because she's the daughter, she's the kid, like. - Yeah, and it's not just a bag that she lost, she lost a ton of time she put in. - Right? - You know, she got a job for this. She put in months of work for this, that's now kind of wasted, you know?

Maybe someday, you know, when she's an adult, if she's making more money, then you could almost make the argument more of like, well, it's not as much of a commitment outta your life. - Yeah. - But this was, she dedicated months of her life to this thing, and then her mom goes and just loses it. - Right, which, what like, what a contradictory lesson. to be teaching your kids as well. Like, she's clearly understanding the value of money. She also wasn't like, desperate to get this bag by like begging for money.

She like went out, she got a job, she earned it, and then now here's her parent being like, "Oh, whatever. It's not that big of a deal." - It's really sad. because like you'd think a parent would be so proud of her. and would treat this with seriousness. because it's like, wow, you really did the most mature thing. - Yeah. - You went out. and you worked hard for something you wanted, and you afforded a Louis Vuitton bag at 15 years old. That's pretty wild. - Yeah. - You deserve this, and so the mom is just really kind of an irresponsible, immature person.

- I hope that maybe the mom can like, make it up to her one day, or like, I don't, and also I'm like, I'm not satisfied with that answer of like, "Oh, she doesn't have any plans of replacing it.". I'm sorry? - Yeah. - I'm literally sorry, you took a child's like expensive belonging. and you're like, it's just a lack of respect. - [Arasha] Right. - Well, some comments have some theories. - Ooh. - Okay. - Because one of the top comment is, "Dude, your mom sold your bag.". (Arasha gasping). Which I am like, if I don't know their situation,

but I mean, there are some greedy parents out there. - Yeah. - Someone else said, "OP, your mother is a dirty, lying thief.". - Whoa. - "You're not the asshole. I would make sure you separate your bank account ASAP. because she will take your wages. when you have too much saved.". Lastly, someone said, "Not the asshole, if you can, please file a police report. I know it may not be easy, but try. Don't let this die down. You are owed your Louis Vuitton bag. Please update us, be safe. - Whoa. - Awe. - That is true. It's shocking in this industry, you know,

when I was acting before I was 18, and like tons of my friends were under 18 acting, it's shocking how prevalent parents. stealing from their kids is. - Oh. - Gosh. - It's a very common thing. It's mind blowing to me. - Yeah. - Yeah, because. I've seen it too. - It goes against. what you'd think, you know, I don't have kids, but like you'd think a parent would be like, "Oh, great, my, this money for my kid that my kid has made.". - Right. - "For themselves so that they have a good life,".

it's wild. - My mind didn't even go there. I mean, but I guess I see maybe where people are theorizing, especially with the idea of like, she has no, like, plans to replace it. - Yeah. - If it truly was a mistake, she would've definitely just been like, "Let me buy you a new one. I am the parent, after all.". - Right. - Oh, devastating. - I mean, either way, regardless of. how or why, it was such massive disrespect. - Yeah. - Yeah, like the fact. that she hadn't been able to use it yet,

and the fact that it was like she would keep it, and like she just wanted to come home and look at it. Like, can you imagine your daughter. is so, like treats this thing so preciously, and like the fact that it was probably still like. had its box or its packaging or whatever. probably made it very appealing to someone to want sell it. - And it's also like, that is huge, that aspect of like, just wanting to look at it. Like, it might seem silly, like if you're just looking at it simply, it might be, "Oh, here's this 15-year-old girl looking at a bag.". And it's like, no, this does represent a lot.

It represents her hard work. It represents her being able to get this for herself, and now it's representing her responsibility. and ability to just be gentle. with this item that she now owns. It is actually a huge milestone for her. - Yeah, and luckily I, based on only this small story, I think this OP is gonna be fine. They sound like they're such a hard worker. and such a smart individual. They're in such a crappy situation,

but I do believe when they're 18, they're gonna be able. to hopefully get out of this situation. It's sad that I think the best advice. is the like, separate your bank accounts. Like, you're gonna have to be more secretive, 'cause clearly your mom does not respect you, or your money, or your belongings. - Right. - That sucks. - And also just to like, how embarrassing for the mom to be like, "My friend is borrowing it, but don't worry, it'll be fine.". And then the very next day being like, "Yeah, well, she lost it." - None of it makes sense, none of it makes sense.

Why is your friend borrowing. a Louis Vuitton bag that was in your room? I do think all facts point to the mom probably did. do something shady here. - Yeah. - None of it makes sense. - And the clue, like, and the fact that the OP noted that her mom was quiet. and had like an expression on her face for a long time. It was like, okay, so she's lying. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I could see it. - Sucks. Well, the verdict was obviously not the asshole. - Yeah. - I'd love to get an update on that and see what happens, but I think the mom probably. sold it. - Sounds like they sold it,

or the friend sold it. - Louis Vuitton, you have 24 hours to respond. - Yeah. - Let's go. - Give her the bag. Yeah, the story was only three weeks ago, so there's no update on this. - Okay. Get your bag. - I feel bad for her. - Yeah. - All right. Next story. Another one from "Am I the Asshole,". like all of these will be. "Am I the Asshole for refusing to pay. for my girlfriend's plane ticket. after she decided to stay longer on her trip without me.". Whoa. - Whoa.

- Whoa. - Whoa. - Whoa. (Courtney and Arasha chuckling). "So, here's the deal. I'm a 28-year-old man, my girlfriend who's 27 of 2 years and I. planned a 2-week vacation to Italy.". - Wow. - "I paid for the flights, hotels, everything, because I make more than she does, and I wanted it to be a stress-free trip for both of us. Everything was great until the last day. when she told me she wanted to stay longer to find herself. and think about our relationship without me. She didn't discuss this with me beforehand, and it completely blindsided me.

I was hurt and told her. that if she feels she needs time alone, then she should also be independent financially. during this extension of her trip. I said I wouldn't be paying for her new return ticket. whenever she decides to come back. Now she's upset calling me unsupportive and selfish, and some of our friends are saying I'm being an a-hole. because I left her stranded in a foreign country. without financial help. So Reddit, am I the asshole. for refusing to pay for her new plane ticket home. after she chose to extend her trip without any heads up?".

- No. - What? - No, no. She basically broke up with him. - Yeah, I'm like, you can't, you gotta make a choice. - Yeah. - Like, one of these. - Not find myself in Italy. - She wanted to be left alone in Italy, in a foreign country. - She's like "leave me alone.". - "Leave me alone." - "Leave me alone, but leave your wallet.". - I thought when I read the title, I thought it was like, "I wanna stay longer.". - Yeah. - And he's like, "I can't stay longer.". She's like, "Can I stay a little longer?". Like. - Right. - I still think that's a little weird. - Do you think she met somebody out there?

- That's my thing. Oh, she's trying to be Hillary Duff. - She's trying to be Hillary Duff, and we all are, to be clear. - Of course. - Aren't we all? - Aren't we all trying be Hillary Duff? - I think we're all. Prom reference. - I got it. - I'm throwing somebody else in there. - Yeah, I mean that, if I feel like that does communicate, like, "Hey, I'm questioning our relationship.". - Yeah. - "To find herself. and think about our relationship without me.". That's totally like lingo for, "Hey, I'm not sure,".

but then being like, "No, you need to still keep paying. for me to do all this," like, what? - Yeah, no. - And also girlfriend, it's one return flight, like one return. ticket that she needs. - Well, I think also, yeah. Yeah, I guess the return flight. I don't know if it's still also like. help pay for everything while she's. out there. - For the rest of the trip, while she thinks? - It's mainly the return flight, it seems to be the-. - He should have been like, "No, we have finding yourself at home.". - [Shayne] Yeah. - Like, find yourself and think about you guys. at home, go home. - Right. You don't need to be doing that in Italy.

- That's so strange. She met somebody out there. - Yeah. - That's crazy though, because they've been dating for two years. - Yeah. - I guess that's like, not that long. - It's a long time. to do that that shit. - But it's a long time. Yeah, to pull "I need some time?". - Similar to the mom stealing the bag, this definitely points to she's either met someone, or she's like, "Maybe I can have a little fun out here.". It's shady as hell. - Oh my Gosh. - Let's see, maybe we're wrong. - The comments are, "Not the asshole,

she can find herself on her own dime. That's reasonable and fair.". Someone else said, "To think about our relationship without me.". The relationship without you is her being single, to spring it on you last minute. and to imply that it's about whether or not. you'll stay together and then expect you to pay her way. She chose not to get on the plane. where her ticket was already paid for by you. and wanted a new ticket? Not the asshole, it was her choice to incur. more expenses for you without your consent, adding in the, "To think about our relationship without you". just makes it sound extra sketchy.

while still acting entitled to your money.". Lastly, someone said, "Not the asshole. With the information provided, you didn't leave her stranded, she left herself stranded. She chose not to use the plane ticket you purchased, and wanted you to just buy her a new one. for some time later, presumably pay for her lodging and food as well, and all announced the day you were supposed to leave. to go back home. If the financial burden was too much for her to bear, she could have just got on the airplane. but asked for a seat change to be alone. and think about the relationship.". Yeah, this is some bullshit. - I guess, yeah.

You know what I feel like it also is. a little manipulative to include that information, almost like she might have been thinking like, "Maybe if I say that I'm questioning the relationship, he'll do whatever it takes to stay. in this relationship." - That's a good point. - So then he's like hopefully going to provide financially, but he's like, "No, I'm insulted.". - To spring it last day is crazy. - Yeah. - Like, we're about. to get on the flight, "Hey." - Yeah. - Because that's also expensive as hell. - And a two-week trip to Italy together, and now you want more after that two weeks?

You're like, "Now I need to think about myself?". - [Shayne] Yeah. - Yeah. - What? - No, it's bull crap. - Think about the pastas. - Think about the pasta. - Think about something else. - Go home. Go home. - Go home. - Go to Chili's with your girls. - [Arasha] Yeah. - Think about your relationship. - Right. - Yeah, that's where you do the thinking. - That's where it is, not in Italy. - Update. - Okay! - Oh shit. Oh shit, oh. - All what do we, okay, predictions? - Predictions, predictions? - Okay, okay, okay.

I think she met a woman. - Cheating is an easy one. - No it's not-. (Arasha gasping) - I think she is the, she's "White Lotus" in the first season. She's a piano player, singer. She met the owner of a hotel. They're in love. - Okay. - Actually, is that how the plot was? I think I'm a little off. - I dunno if that. was the plot, but you know what? It will be a plot of a "White Lotus" season. - You're right, someday. - I feel like. this sounds like a man with a good head on his shoulders. I feel like he didn't give her the money, and she broke it off instead and had a bad time in Italy. - Okay, I like that. - Ooh.

- Here we go. "Thank you to all the people who responded, especially the early ones who gave. some outside verification. to me probably not being the asshole. I don't feel comfortable saying. I'm completely blameless here. because you're only getting one side of the story, and I need to take responsibility. for my part in this whole thing as it is, but I guess I never realized. how good my girlfriend was at making me feel. like unreasonable shit was normal and rational, and that I was the crazy one. So here's the update. We're both back in America now, and she's packing her shit to go stay with her family. for a bit until she can find a new place. Soon after I posted, it was time to go to the airport,

so I did without her. I'm one of those people who arrives really early. because I never think I'll get to the gate in time. because everything that can go wrong. probably would go wrong. It never does, but especially with how I was feeling. my luck was going, I didn't wanna push it. I was there for about an hour by myself. mulling things over and talking to my mom. I looked at a couple responses to this post, but I didn't trust that I wouldn't lose it. if I started responding, and I definitely didn't wanna burst into tears. while I was in the airport. As I was talking to my mom, my girlfriend showed up.

I guess she thought I was bluffing, but had a rude awakening when the hotel staff. kicked her out of the room. because I'd only paid through that day. I took no small amount of satisfaction in this, not gonna lie. She'd been so concerned about the plane ticket. that she didn't even stop to think about. where she was going to stay. As many of you guessed, she met someone while we were in Italy. She was quick to tell me. that it was just a physical attraction. and that they hadn't done anything, but she had his @. and was wanting to see if it had go anywhere.

I guess that's what I get for not feeling well. and wanting to stay in one night. while she went out to explore. Obviously I told her things were over between us, even though she tried to make it. sound like nothing had happened, the fact was, A, I couldn't feel like I could trust her. when she said that, and B, I don't really wanna be with someone. who feels like it's okay to still keep her options open. when she's been in a monogamous relationship. for the past two years. The flight home was awkward as fuck, and she tried really hard to give another pitch. for why we should stay together. on the drive home from the airport.

I think as we got closer to home, reality started settling in. and she realized she's just thrown a lot away. So yeah, I'm jet lagged. and physically and emotionally exhausted. I'm just kind of numb at this point.". - Awe. - Awe. - That's crazy. - Our king. - Our king, he's a green flag factory. - Absolutely. - The fact that he, like he called his mom. though. - Yeah, I love that fact, at the airport? - And in fact in the beginning. he is like, "Yeah, you're only. getting my side of the story, but." - Yeah. - Yes. - But she, I mean,

all of the actions here point to her being. a super asshole. - Yes, yes. I wanna say before I forget real quick too, the detail that I really heard in that as well. He was like, "Well, I guess that's what I get. for staying in one night while she went out and explored.". He absolutely did not. deserve that in any way. - No. - No. - Just because you decide. to stay in one night. and your partner freely goes out by themselves, like that is not a ticket. - Two weeks is a long time too. - I think he's being sarcastic, but it's also crazy that one night. - Right. - And she's already,

it's like, dude, this was a blessing that he discovered this, 'cause she's just, she's probably cheated on him before. with how quickly. - Who knows? I mean, Italy, Italy is a romantic place, you know what I'm saying? - Yeah. - But I will say, it is wild to me. that they didn't have a like, organized discussion of like, "Okay, we're taking a break. I want to explore my options or whatever.". She was premeditatedly going to cheat on him. - Right. - She was going to, 'cause she said at first she's like, "Oh, it was just a physical attraction.

Nothing happened," but I honestly don't trust this, that info from her. at this point. - Oh yeah, you can't trust anything now. - But like, she was fully ready to lie. and like potentially at worst sleep with another person. or put herself in a dangerous situation. - Right. - On his dime, and like, that's crazy. - And only showed up. to the airport because she was kicked out. - And to think she thought, "You will pay for me to have an affair on you,". is crazy work. - Wild. - That is awful. - Yeah, absolutely crazy work,

and the thing that I think is always the most, like, obviously cheating is just super disrespectful. in so many ways, but to me, one of the most disrespectful aspects is when people cheat, or whatever type of cheating we'd call this, and then go, "Yeah, well we can get back together. We should get back together.". I'm like, at least have the dignity to go, "Yeah, we're done." - Right. - Yeah. - At least do that. - Yeah, there's no coming back. - But to go like, "Oh, we can still, well, this is nothing, we'll get back together.". It's like, oh, you really think nothing of this person.

- Right, right. - Right. - You really do look down on them in that sort of way. - And the way he wrote it. and the thing where he is like, "She was trying to pitch. how we could be together on the car.". So I just picture her in the car being like, "Okay, so get this. Okay, but we try again and pretend this never happened. How about that?" - Yeah. And he's like, "Ciao, bitch.". (Courtney laughing). - Bro, wild. - Wild. - Sad. - Absolutely wild. - I feel so bad. It's such a clear sign of narcissism too. - Yeah. - To just be like, "I know that you just paid. for these two weeks in Italy, but that wasn't anything on you. That was for me," you know?

And just to move past that, and it's like, that is a huge thing that he did for you. You're overlooking that completely. Seeking out other men on your nights out in Italy. and then having the audacity to be like, "And here's why you should still stay with me.". - And I think if she one night out is meets a guy. and is like, "I kind of wanna see where this could go,". she's not just talking about like cheating. She's like, "Maybe I would find a new thing,". that has to be already going like, you weren't in this relationship when you went to Italy.

- Right. - And so you're gonna let him spend a bunch of money. on this trip to Italy, and you're probably not really into him anymore. Like, this is wild work. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah, I can't believe that there was like. one night where they weren't together. Two weeks in a country is a long time. - That's a long time. - Like, we've traveled. to places a long time where there's sometimes. where we just, we're gonna get a Domino's pizza and stay in, and whatever. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But like, for him to feel like, yeah, just in any way that it's his fault is very, like speaks a lot to the dynamic and what she makes him.

instinctively think about himself in that. - I wonder more of what other like, of the like unbelievable shit that he's gone through. that he's referring to, you know? Like, 'cause in the very beginning, right? He said he fully funded this trip. because he makes more money than her, but it also feels like a clear sign now. of why she wasn't willing. to invest any money into this trip, because. she didn't actually see. - Wow. - Devastating - Wow. - The future. - Oh yeah. - Also the fact that they were like, "She's broke,

you left her in Italy broke.". It's like, hold on? You didn't have anything? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Hold on. - Yeah. - Yeah. Wild. - Crazy. - All right, next story. - Okay. - Here we go. - I did an impression of Shayne doing that. on "Smosh Mouth." - Wow. - Yeah. - Next story. - That's just saying the thing. Come on, guys. - Update. Update. - That's not it. - Update. - What am I, Tom Brokaw? (Courtney laughing). - Update. - We have an update.

- The verdict was not the asshole. - [Courtney] That was pretty good. - Okay. - Finding it. (Courtney chuckling). (crew members chuckling). - Okay, we have our next story here. "Girlfriend of six years won't stop asking for a ring. Am I the asshole?". - Shayne, I told you not to put my story in the episode. - Whoa! (Shayne laughing). - "So it's exactly as the title suggests. I, a 37-year-old man, have been with my girlfriend, a 35-year-old woman, for 6 years now.

We have been living together for five years. We both have good jobs that pay well, and money isn't an issue. She has a daughter from a previous relationship, and I've known her since she was two, and she's now nine. Me and my stepdaughter get along great. Everything is fine, but I'm constantly getting asked. by her when she's going to get a ring. She said she's not willing to look at houses. or get a house until she has a ring. We currently rent and have been for the past five years. A year and a half ago, I went out and bought a ring. because I do plan on marrying her someday.

She's the woman I wanna be with, I just wanna wait until I'm ready. and the timing is right for me. I am also planning an unforgettable, unique way to ask and surprise her, but every other day is her talking about a ring. Even when hanging out with friends, she brings it up and causes uncomfortable conversations. with people about it. And it's always, 'Hey, it's time you ask. What are you waiting for? You should really ask her already.'. Like, shut the (beep) up, it's not your life and any of your business. I don't wanna feel pressured into doing it. Anyway, am I the asshole. for not proposing to my girlfriend of seven years yet?".

- Wow. - Buddy. - I know we obviously have had this discussion, and my feeling on it is that. a proposal can be a surprise. like of like when exactly it's happening or where, but. - Yeah. - I do think. couples should be like, "Do we wanna get married? Yes.". Like, you have the conversation. - Right. - And you agree to it before, I don't think a proposal should be a full on surprise. - Yeah, and you even can have those fun conversations. where it's like, "Do you wanna be proposed to. in front of a ton of people? Do you want privacy?

Do you want, like, this?". Like, you know, you can kinda have. those healthy conversations. - But based on what he's saying that the people, like friends and stuff are saying to him, I don't think he's being transparent, 'cause they're like, "Hey, it's time you ask. What are you waiting for? You should really ask her already.". But if he said, "Oh yeah, I'm planning this year,". they wouldn't be probably pressuring like. - Right. - I think this guy's. like kind of stonewalling everywhere. - Yeah, I agree. - I think so. - And also, there's a couple aspects to this that are tough. You know, like she has a daughter,

they're in their mid-30s, and they've lived together for 5 years, and she very clearly wants this. Wouldn't matter at all if both of 'em were like, "Oh yeah, we don't care.". Then it's like, who gives a crap? - Right. - The problem is that she really wants to be married. before they can continue. with other big decisions in their life, and they now have this weird tension. They can't like move into a, they can't buy a spot. They can't, they're kinda holding off on things.

- Yeah. - And that's tough. - That's true. - Right. - Especially when there's a kid involved. Like, she's probably looking forward to like. more steps to showing her child more security in their life. and stuff. - Yeah, it's a big thing to be like, "I need to know, like, I kind of need that commitment. to know you're gonna be here for her too.". - It's true. - Yeah. - There's a lot more at stake than, you know, I do think it's different than if it's like, if we're talking about a couple 25-year-olds. who don't have a kid involved. and are kind of like still young. and still figuring out their life, it's like, okay, maybe I understand, so you wanna wait.

But, it is kind of the question. of what are you waiting for with this guy? And his excuses are a little like, "Well, I've got this big grand thing.". I'm like, a year and a half? Like, what is the big grand thing? Like I get that, but communicate that to her then. - I agree. - If it's gonna be while, be like, "Hey, I am planning on proposing, but it's gonna be a minute.". - Yeah, this is such an interesting concept to me, I think, because I have, I have had a couple of friends who have just. ended their relationships with guys because they were like,

in the past, they have been with men for like six, seven years, and then they were like, it wasn't going anywhere. Like, "I didn't wanna keep asking for a ring. I didn't wanna keep asking like, 'What's our future?' kind of thing,". because it seems like he just very desperately. wants a surprise and is almost building this like, resentment towards her. - Yeah. Now it's creating tension. - Yeah. - I honestly think like, I don't know why he hasn't thought to like, reach out to her friends and talk to 'em, be like,

"Hey, guys, like don't worry, I've got something planned. I might even need your help.". - Yeah. - Like. - Yeah. - Like, and then people will at the very least. stop talking about it if he genuinely. is planning something. - Yeah, yeah. - That's why I lean more just slightly on asshole. because I just don't think he's. going about this correctly. - Yeah. - It's okay. - The fact that he just said. shut the fuck up to a hypothetic, like, I was like whoa. - It's one of those where I'm like, "The way you're wording this. makes me think you're an asshole.". - Agreed. - As opposed to. I'm not really getting the like, genuine,

"Oh," and be honest. Like, this does read a little bit more as like, what is holding you back a little bit? - I think that's a great point is to, like, to actually get into the language. of how some of these Redditors like write their post. it does matter. - Totally. - It gives us. a lot of context. - Absolutely. - As to like what kind of person that they are. - Yeah. - I understand him. wanting this to be a surprise, but you're right, tension is a good word, like it almost feels like very intense. and he's getting angry at these people who are like,

"Hey, we wanna give you the a push in the right direction,". and it's like, tell somebody your plan. - No, and I also think it's super valid. to want to make sure there's a commitment there. before buying a home, because when breakups happen. - Oh, totally. - A home is, that can be really devastating. Like, one of those people will lose that. - I think buying a home together. is almost like a bigger commitment. than like getting married. - Yeah. - That's huge. And yeah, I think the daughter element is huge here, but they seem like they're on opposite ends.

of the spectrum on how they view this, and that's a huge problem. - Right. - It almost doesn't matter. who the asshole is, it just matters like, your communication's not good. He didn't give us any details. on what this elaborate thing is. - Yeah. There's like a 0.2% of me that's like, "Is there really a big elaborate plan?". - He's like, "So hear me out, I made a reservation.". - He's like, "At Chili's." - A year and a half from now. - A year and a half from now. - That's why it's a grand plan. - The verdict was asshole. - Yeah. - And the comments. were saying, "Well, you're saying you wanna marry her.

She's definitely saying she wants to, and she's certainly not gonna wait forever. So, genuinely asking, what are you waiting for? You're talking about the right timing. despite having stable jobs and a working family life, and you're saying you're planning something grand, but you've been sitting on a ring for 1.5 years. It ain't a (beep) egg, my guy. Give it to her or chuck it.". Someone else said, "This happened to me. I wasn't even begging for a ring. when a friend let it slip he had one for over a year. and he should hurry up. I was flabbergasted. I waited a few months with that knowledge,

and then broke it off. Don't buy me a ring if it's not. burning a hole in your pocket waiting to propose.". Someone said, "That kind of happened to me. It wasn't a ring though, it was a really pretty necklace. That's how I found out he was cheating, because I never got it, and it was gone from where he had stored it.". Someone said, "Oh no, you got 'Love Actually'd.". - Actually, that's very true. - Someone else said, "That happened to me with having kids. Was with my ex seven years. He always said he wanted them, always a reason the timing wasn't right.

We break up, and in under two years. he's found someone else and had a baby with her. They get ready real quick for the one they really want.". - Whoa. - You know what's also. interesting is like, yeah, having the ring for a year and a half, but just kind of sitting on it. feels like withholding, you know? It feels like, like genuinely, what are you waiting for? It feels like, I don't know. - A little bit of a power trip. - It can be a little offensive to hear like, "Wait, you've had a ring for a year. and you haven't given it to me?

Like, what are like, are you waiting for me to like do something. that proves that I am-". - Right. - "Willing, or that you're. worthy to take a wife? Like, what is this? What does it mean?". - Yeah, and especially their ages too, like 35, it's like you know who you are. - Yeah, he's 37. - And you have, yeah, exactly, and you have, you're saying everything. in your life is set up, so what is it? What's going on? It's such a big topic nowadays, which is interesting. - Yeah, genuinely a lot, a lot of my friends.

are doing that. - This is a big topic, 'cause this blew up on Twitter as well, and people were shredding this guy. - Oh. - You know, there's a lot of conversations of like, "Hey, like how long?". If you are actively communicating. that you want to get married. - Yeah. - How long. are you gonna wait? - Yeah. - When is it gonna be right? - But I will say, I think why I thought. no assholes here at first is like, I can understand when you wanna surprise somebody, but they kind of keep taking the air out of the surprise. by continuing to pester you and ask you about it every day,

so that's where I was coming from. - Yeah. - But like, with all the context, like. - But I do agree on. it almost doesn't matter who the asshole is, in a way. It matters that it's like you guys are not on the same page, and that's what's most important, because how a marriage, how a proposal, an engagement, how it goes about, there is no right or wrong way. if both people involved. are completely fine with how it's going. - Exactly. - There's one last comment. Someone said, "What exactly is perfect timing? If everything is just governed by emotion,

then people will get discouraged easily afterward. OP, just plan for the proposal already. People should create perfect timing themselves. Don't wait, it may never come.". Yeah. - Fair, yeah. - Yeah. - I like the way they worded that one. - Yeah, I see your point though. I don't think it's like wrong to give him some grace. and empathy as well, but at the same time, considering the entirety of the timeline. - Yeah. - Even a year and a half prior. it had still been five, six years? - It's a lot more at stake for her.

- Yeah. - Okay, our next story is-. - Dang, no update? - No update. - The kid's nine, there's your update. - Today's "Reddit Stories" is brought to you by HelloFresh. Make this fall the tastiest season yet. with farm-fresh produce and easy autumn-inspired recipes. delivered right to your door with HelloFresh. They have it all pre-portioned, delivered right to your door, the spices, the ingredients, every single part of the recipe. with a tiny little recipe guide. Very simple instructions to follow. They've got tons of recipes to choose from every week,

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Get 10 free meals at hellofresh.com/freepitreddit. Apply it across seven boxes. New subscribers only, varies by plan. That's 10 free HelloFresh meals. just by going to hellofresh.com/freepitreddit. HelloFresh, America's number one meal kit. Today's "Reddit Stories" is also brought to you by you. That's right, we are conducting an audience survey at. gum.fm/pitreddit, and we want to hear from you. so we can keep making content you love.

Look, we know there's ads on "Reading Reddit Stories,". and we wanna improve that experience, but in order to do that, we need to know a little bit more about you. The survey is quick, easy, and a free way to support us in this podcast. It'll take you two minutes, and hey, I mean, we are often dealing with people with stories. who are making bad decisions, this one is a good decision. And it's so important to us that we're on a different set. to ask you to do it. We had to move our whole operation over here, and it was a big deal, so you'll be helping us out by doing it.

Go to gum.fm/pitreddit to fill out our audience survey. That's G-U-M dot F-M slash P-I-T-R-E-D-D-I-T. Now back to the pit stage, and back to the show. Our next story is one that I sent in, and boy is it crazy. - Oh, god. - I love this one. - Yay, yay, yay, yay, yay. - Let's go. - Okay, "Am I the for wanting to use the hall pass.

my wife gave me five years ago when she cheated on me?". (Courtney gasping). (Shayne laughing). Brennan was like, here, he just goes like this. (Courtney laughing). (Shayne laughing). - He's been awakened. - Yes. - No, I love, I love titles where you're just like, "The answer is you guys should not be together.". - Right, right. - The answer is that. - The answer is when. - But let's read this and enjoy. (Courtney chuckling). - I don't know. - No, this one's crazy. Okay. "My wife, who's 35, and I, 35,

35-year-old man, have been married for 10 years. We have two children, a nine-year-old girl. and a seven-year-old boy. Five years ago, I found out that my wife had an affair. I felt crushed and numb because I loved my wife a lot. Her affair partner told me about it. when my wife called it off. The affair lasted one month, and my wife had called it off. because she felt really guilty about it. When I confronted my wife about it, she was very remorseful and didn't deny anything. She said she'd do anything,

follow any reconciliation steps I asked, and just begged to not break up our family. I asked her why she cheated, and she gave no excuses. and she just said it was for the thrill. My first reaction was to divorce, but after sitting on it for a week, I decided to just stick it out for our family, and because I still loved my wife. My wife was very thankful, and she even told me I had a hall pass I could use. whenever I wanted. Over the next year or so, my wife followed the reconciliation steps, which included therapy, getting sober, quitting her job,

and a bunch of other things. I had forgiven my wife, but I could never forget it. I would occasionally just replay in my mind. my wife cheating on me, and that always hurts a lot. Fast forward to today and my family is doing great. However, I struck up a friendship with Melissa, a 32-year-old woman who I met at a bookstore. We had common interests in books for existentialism, metaphysics, and similar books. I don't know how, but when we met, we just clicked. We initially met every week at the bookstore. to just discuss books and life, but we started talking more about our personal life,

and we then started going on coffee dates and brunches. One more thing we had in common. was that Melissa too was married to her husband. who had cheated on her many years ago. It's been almost a year since I met her, and Melissa has made it upfront. that she has very strong feelings for me, and that she's never had these feelings. for anyone else ever in her life. I too have a lot of feelings for her, but I feel guilty about it, so I haven't told her about them yet. I haven't crossed any physical boundaries. and I don't intend to, we only hug and hold hands, but I don't wanna explore.

more of the emotional connection to her. because I've never felt like this ever. I remember that my wife gave me a hall pass five years ago. when she cheated on me. Would I be the asshole to use that hall pass. to explore the emotional connection I have with Melissa?". - Sir. - Sir, two wrongs do not make a right. (Shayne and Arasha laughing) Okay? - Bro, this story is crazy. - That is wild. - I am, first off, I'm deeply saddened. that there's two kids involved in this, like. - Right. - Yeah. - Right. - But because I'm like,

if these people were single, I'd be like, "This story has me laughing so hard.". - Yes, yes. - That's sad, but this is also insane. I think it's unfortunately, you know, and like, psychologists have said like, it is possible to like reconcile. or like effectively start a new relationship. after infidelity. - Like starting over. with your partner, yeah. - But, it's hard. But this is like, this is where it's like, man, five years later you're saying everything's going well, but clearly it's not.

You're clearly not over this. - Yeah. - Like, even though she did. everything that you asked, you've done therapy, she got sober, she truly did everything that she could. that you wanted her to do and it's not enough, and that's the problem, man. - That's the reality of it. - That's the thing of cheating. sometimes, and he like, you know, I wish he had gone and done some therapy, 'cause clearly, like, if they really wanted to make this work, she wasn't the only one who was needed to put some work in. Like, he needed to help himself out too.

- Definitely. Definitely. - Yeah. No, and it's why when people go like, "Hey, if someone cheats, I'm out.". It's like, if you know. that you're never able to get over it, that is the better thing to do. is just end it there as opposed to like, let it drag on. - Yeah. - Yeah. - In a way - I mean, it's also the specific circumstances of the cheating, right? In this case, a month-long affair? - Yeah, that's a lot. - That's a lot, it's a lot. of conscious choices. - Repeated effort, yeah. - It's she broke it off with this affair partner,

so, I mean, what credit you can give people, but the affair partner was the one who told him, and that's rough. - That's too. - If you're not hearing it. from your partner, you then wonder forever- - Trust is gone, yeah. - "Was she ever gonna tell me?". - Yeah. And he's giving her the credit for not denying anything, which I think is fair. - Not having excuses. - Yeah. - For sure, like she owned up to it, but again, after somebody. else told. - Yeah. Now, so she says in her fit of desperation,

"You have a hall pass,". which is an insane thing to say, like. - Yeah, no. - Not a way of reconciling. - Not a problem solve. - At all. - But, he now, five years later, after meeting someone that he is already doing this, he goes, "Oh, I remember that hall pass she gave me.". It's like, okay, dude. - Yeah. - Yeah, but what's so. (beep) up about that is like, they're both saying they have feelings for each other. that they've never felt before. - Yes. - Like, so there's no way. that if you, 'cause you've,

I consider already what's going on cheating. But like, if you guys break that dam. and you guys have sex or something, like, like that's another step of intimacy. Do you think the feelings are just gonna end there? Like, you guys are talking about really real feelings. - Right. - And he's not. told Melissa his feelings because he feels guilty, so it's like, oh, so you're just gonna cheat on your wife. just so you can, despite what Melissa's feeling? - Melissa has real feelings. It sounds like, if this were to continue to go well,

Melissa would leave her current husband for him. - Oh, this is not a hall pass, at all. - Right, you don't use. a hall pass to explore an emotional connection. - They are not a couple. Like, they need to accept. that this has been over for five years. - Yes. And again, it's heartbreaking that there are children. - Yes. - And that's why it adds. that nuance to it, where originally I understand where it might've felt tricky. 'Cause, I mean, I don't know. I feel like everybody can kind of relate to like, you know, you have a partner who you love,

you trust, everything is so good. If like, I don't know if they had like a slip at some point. and it was like, I don't know, maybe like one night like crazy circumstances happened. or something, and then the next morning. that they're like the first one to tell you. and they're like, "Something, something bad happened, and whatever.". Maybe you'd like to explore the option of being like, "I don't know, do I stay, do I not?". And to add having a family already to that, it immediately helps the side lean over to like, maybe we should try to make it work.

instead of separating. - Right. - Yeah. - Right. - But this is a whole mess, and now like she was the asshole with all that stuff, but I'm like, but you're asshole the now. Like, now what you're doing is just as bad. Like, you're doing the same thing. You guys are not a couple. This is gonna be worse for your kids that you're doing this. - Absolutely. - Like, it's better. for you guys to be separate. - Yeah. - Her actions might have like, led to this eventually happening. - Yeah. - But it's still,

it was his choice to stay, and it's his choice to flirt with Melissa. - Yeah, I mean, I think the hall pass offer was crazy, and, you know, I think if she had offered those in circumstances. where she wasn't in a mentally better place after, like, that's one thing. I also think if that hall pass was given, I think there's so much strength in like, "Oh, he never took it,". because that's not what it's (beep) about. It's not one-upping each other and winning. - Exactly. - It's about your family. - Yeah, and I have a feeling the hall pass,

the hall pass was like a fit of desperation. That's a full on conversation you have. - Yeah. - If you are really taking that seriously, you're talking about a kind of. like open relationship situation. - Pretty much. - That means. full-on communication. It doesn't mean, "Oh I get to deceive you. 'cause you deceived me.". It's like, we're supposed to care about each other. - Right. - Exactly, and like, yeah, is the hall pass like you get one free one-month affair? Like. - I know. - Or like-. - What are the boundaries of this? - [Arasha] Yeah. - The comments, 'cause there's no verdict reached,

because I think people are just like, "This is a whole mess.". - Yeah. - The comments, the first one is pretty succinct. "It'll end your marriage, but yeah, you should probably go tell your wife. you want to use your hall pass, 'cause the marriage has obviously never recovered. and you've obviously found someone. who is a better match for you. Even better, just go tell your wife you want a divorce, and that no matter how hard you tried, you could never truly get past the cheating, that it's best if you separate. so you can both find a relationship that isn't broken. All of that would be the truth.". Someone said, "To be honest, he is having an emotional affair already.

Can't blame him though, and I agree he should just leave his wife. He should have left when she first cheated, but meh, live and learn.". Someone else said, "The fact Melissa. is cheating on her husband. doesn't make her better than your wife.". Someone said, "Makes her worse than the wife. It's been going on for a year, and she's admitted feelings, not breaking it off. Why did Melissa not divorce the husband. before sharing her feelings? All the adults in this story are the asshole.". - Yeah. - Someone said, "Dude, you may not be having a physical affair. in your eyes with Melissa, but you are already cheating on your wife. by an emotional affair.

I think you are cheating by holding hands and hugging her, 'cause you aren't doing that as friends, but intimate contact. It's obvious you haven't forgiven your wife at this point. Kindest thing is divorce, and let you both live your own life.". - Yeah. - Yeah. - I think they got it. - Well... - Update. - No, please, no, please, please, no, please, no, no! Say no! Don't do it! - Don't do it? - All right, moving on. - All right, I'll move on. - Next story, next story. - Okay, update. (Courtney yelling).

"Thank you everyone for the advice. I've decided not to use the hall pass, as I don't really feel too great about it. and it wouldn't be fair to my wife. I wanna clarify what I meant by using the hall pass. I had no intentions of proceeding with any sexual activity, but instead deepening my emotional connection with Melissa, and may have at worst included kissing. She tried to kiss me once, but I rejected it because I felt guilty about it. I texted Melissa and let her know, and while she was disappointed, she asked if we could still remain friends like we are now, and I told her sure, and she was very happy about it.

I do like hanging out with Melissa a lot. and talking about life. I also get that flutter and excited energy, and I like that a lot too.". - Huh? - Okay, "Yeah, I love the boner she gives me. Let's be her friend.". - Underneath every story, Emily and Bailey. will always leave like a little discussion topic, and Bailey just wrote, "Just leave your wife, bro.". (Arasha and Courtney laughing). - I'm dead. - Yeah what the (beep)? - What? - That's crazy. - That's the update? - That's the worst option out of every option. - That was insane. - Literally,

he's like, "I'm just gonna kind of quiet my (beep).". What? - But is he? - Bro, what the hell? I mean, this was written, let's see, when was this posted? Not long ago, like a couple weeks ago. He's probably already cheated on his wife. - Yeah. Melissa, that little minx. - He was already cheating. - "We're just gonna kiss a little.". Hello? - Yeah, that's crazy. - Insane work. - That's crazy. - Insane work. - And, oh God, there was so much to it. Also being like, "My definition of hall pass. is just to deepen the emotional connect.".

- Like, that is quite opposite of what a hall pass is. - Do you understand what your wife said. when she cheated on you? - Right. - Like what is happening here? - That's crazy. - You've clearly not seen. the Owen Wilson classic "Hall Pass.". - I guess I haven't. - No, remember when the girl shit on the wall? - I haven't seen "Hall Pass.". - It's so funny, dude. (group laughing). - Anyways. - Don't do that. - That's what a hall pass is. - Yeah, that's not a hall pass, that's cut in class. - Hall pass is not, "I want to have a deep emotional connection.

with another person." - Yeah. - That's insane. - Melissa. - "I'm gonna use my hall pass. and go on 'Love is blind.'". - Okay, next story. That was wild. "Am I the Asshole for leaving my boyfriend at the airport. after he pranked the TSA with a dildo?". - Pranked? - Dildo? - TSA? - Airport? - Am I the Asshole? - "Hey, everyone. I, a 20-year-old woman, really needs some outside perspective. on whether I was too harsh on my boyfriend, who's 29m because of a recent incident. My boyfriend loves practical jokes,

and while some are genuinely funny, others can be a bit much. For example, he once switched. all my skincare products with mayonnaise, and another time he filled my car with balloons. It's usually all in good fun, but sometimes it goes a bit too far. We planned this amazing vacation to the Caribbean, something I had been looking forward to for months. Everything was going smoothly until we got to the airport. Right before going through airport security, my boyfriend thought it would be hilarious. to pull another prank. This time he decided to stuff a dildo down his pants. and make it look like he was unusually well endowed.

As you can imagine, the security scanners picked up something odd. and he was pulled aside for a pat down. When the TSA agents asked him if he was carrying anything. he shouldn't be, he yelled out, 'I have a big piece, and I'm gonna use it,'. in what I guess he thought was a funny tone. Literally everybody turned and looked at us, and it was so awkward. A couple other TSA guys ran towards him. Then he pulled out the dildo and proudly announced, 'That's my big piece.'. Well, the TSA didn't find it funny. Both of us were taken to a back room. and interrogated for over an hour,

which led us to missing our flight. The agents weren't amused, and they gave us a stern lecture. on security and appropriateness. I was so upset and embarrassed by the whole ordeal. that I decided I couldn't handle. going on the vacation anymore.". - Oh. - "So instead of waiting. for the next available flight, I just went home. My boyfriend was annoyed. and said I was overreacting since it was just a joke. and that we could just catch another flight. However, I felt like the prank crossed a line, especially considering the setting and the stress it caused. So, Reddit, am I the asshole for deciding to go home.

and miss out on our vacation. because I couldn't deal with another potential joke. or embarrassment? Let me know what you think.". - Bruh. - Yeah. - I wasn't even a fan of the initial practical jokes. - Yeah, how much skincare that, you know how expensive skincare is when you replace it. with mayonnaise? - Yeah, that's crazy. - You know how much good mayonnaise was wasted then? - Yeah. I love mayonnaise. - I love mayonnaise, kinda. - I love mayonnaise. - Yeah. No, that's terrifying. - No, I don't care how good and funny your pranks are,

TSA is off limits for any funny behavior at all. - Yeah. - You're trying to get. through that as quickly as possible, as seamlessly as possible. - Yeah. - Right, it's not for jokes. - No. Holy crap, he said, "I've got a big piece, and I'm gonna use it?". - That's crazy, like. - He's lucky he didn't get. like, shot. - At first when I was like, "Oh, like they're gonna find it on him and whatever.". Like, if she were to get mad at that, but like, the fact that that was serious, like the reason TSA is there. is to literally stop things like that. Like, these are TSA people who, if they are there to like hopefully stop danger and stuff,

like, you scared a lot of people. - Right. - Like, that's crazy to do. - Yeah, that too, that too. - They're waiting for something bad to happen. almost, sometimes. - Yeah. A lot of people are actually really frightened about that. A lot of people have had bad experiences. Obviously there have been bad experiences. around the world with it. Like, it definitely is a very tactless joke that he pulled, and I think I would also be. put off by that behavior, and I wouldn't wanna follow it immediately with a vacation.

- Yeah. - Yeah, you're risking a lot. - Oh, 100%. - And like, you just don't know who's around in the TSA. The TSA, it's like any type of person. You don't know who else has what. and who's gonna react how. He thinks it's so funny, he's willing to risk it all for the gag. - Yeah, yeah. - Like, and it's so, like, you have to weigh your priorities. - Right, I think I'm all for a gag for sure. Like it can be fun to like prank and joke. and stuff like that, but I find comedy to be of taste,

and I think if you're ever crossing that line. and going into any kind of inappropriate humor. or like mean or bad or risky, I just immediately pull away from it. I'm not a fan of that at all. - Yeah. Comments, "Your boyfriend sounds like a 16-year-old.". Someone else said, "Not gonna disagree, but 16 sounds a bit generous for this level of stupidity.". Someone else said, "Reconsider this relationship. I personally hate these types of jokes. There is a time and place for things, TSA is not a time for that.

You can get yourself on a list so that every time you fly, you are pulled aside. If you can't discern when jokes are appropriate, that is a red flag.". Someone said, "The words TSA and joke. do not belong in the same sentence.". - Yep. - Lastly, someone said, "Now I can see why he is dating someone eight years younger, because no one else will put up with his bullshit. I suggest you look elsewhere.". - That's right, he's 28, right? - 29. - 29. - That's one of those things where it's like, all right, he's not gonna change probably. So if you're comfortable with this, you gotta be okay with this.

And if you're not, you probably should leave, because he's not gonna stop. He doesn't sound like he really takes things seriously. - Right, right. But also just not in a matter of like, there's something to be said about being. like youthful, right? And young, but this is childish and immature. in a way that's just not appropriate. I really like the word discernment. as well that someone used. You need to be able to know, "Oh, when is it fun to do these cute little jokes?". Especially if she's okay with the like, skincare and whatever, like, fine, that's great.

- Yeah. - But don't then. test the limits when you're already in a relationship, that's kind of letting it fly. - That's super dangerous. - Yeah. - That's super dangerous. Anyways. Wild. - All right. - Our last story, "Am I the Asshole for letting you know I am divorcing you. by sending you a thread on the website. that you use to ignore me.". - Me? - Huh? Huh? Oh wait, is this to us? - Wait, what? You're divorcing us? - You're divorcing us?

- Sorry, no. Here we go. This was posted a couple weeks ago. "Hi, Steffan. Maybe you will finally listen.". (Courtney gasping). "And if you're wondering if you can just speed home. and stop me from doing this and leaving, it's too late. I'm sending you this after I've already loaded. everything in the car and left. Don't worry, I spoke with our landlords. and took my name off the lease. I've set up a direct deposit for the next month's rent. After that, you're on your own, buddy. I guess you're wondering why. I'm guessing you'll act. like you're completely blindsided, right? Because you've done absolutely nothing wrong.

and you're a great husband and father-to-be, aren't you? Well, buddy, let me break it down for you. in a language you understand. I, 29-year-old woman, have been married to my husband, a 35-year-old man, for 5 years, and we've been together for nearly 10. On paper, everything seemed fine, but in reality, our marriage has been anything but. I've reached my breaking point, and I need to know if I'm the one in the wrong here. From the beginning, my mother-in-law has been a nightmare. She made everything about her from day one. At our wedding, she wore white. claiming it was a family tradition, it wasn't.

She constantly criticizes me, from my cooking to my appearance. I'll never forget the time she called me fat. at a family gathering right in front of everyone. And what did my husband do? Nothing. Not a single word to defend me. It didn't stop there. She has accidentally destroyed my belongings, including my grandmother's necklace, which she threw out. because it 'Looked like cheap costume jewelry.'. She's gone out of her way to make me feel small. and unwelcome in my own home, but every time I tried to talk to my husband about it, he'd brush it off saying I was overreacting. or being too emotional.

And then there's my husband. He's always on Reddit, constantly giving strangers relationship advice, which is laughable considering how he treats me. He spends more time rating women's boobs on Reddit. than talking to me.". (Courtney groaning) "Literally. And just so you know, the last pair he rated weren't a 4 out of 10, they were a 10 out of 10.". - Hell yeah. - "He's got plenty of time to do that, but can't be bothered to remember anything about my life. He'll forget my birthday, our anniversary, even simple things like what I'm working on. or what's important to me, but he has a perfect memory for his work schedule. and things that matter to him.

When we fight, he becomes incredibly hostile. and always throws in a sarcastic 'Buddy'. at the end of his sentences. like I'm some acquaintance he can barely tolerate, and he never cleans. The house, the dishes, laundry, you name it, it's all on me. It's like he thinks being an adult is optional. as long as he's got his job and his Reddit account. The final straw came a few weeks ago. I'm five months pregnant with our first child, a daughter. My mother-in-law started making comments. about how she'll have to whip the girl into shape, and how she'll raise her to be tough because I'm too soft. When I told my husband that I didn't want his mother.

to have too much influence on our daughter, especially with the way she treats me, he just laughed it off saying his mother means well. and that I was overthinking it. But the moment that truly broke me. was when we were talking about future childcare, and my husband suggested. that his mother should watch our daughter while we work. I told him I wasn't comfortable with that, especially considering how his mother treats me, and he snapped. He called me paranoid and said I should get over it. because his mother was going. to be a big part of our daughter's life. whether I liked it or not. This is the same woman. who believes corporal punishment is okay.

I've seen her hit my husband's nephew. for the smallest things, and no one does anything about it. It's like they're all living in some kind of cult, and I'm finally waking up to the reality of what's going on. If he wouldn't stand up for me, how could I expect him to stand up for our child? I started to fear for what kind of environment. our daughter will grow up in, a place where she might be belittled or bullied. by her own grandmother. with a father who wouldn't do anything to it. Oh, and did I mention that he missed our first ultrasound? His mother needed him to help her with something urgent,

it turned out to be fixing her Wifi. Wifi. He chose that over seeing our daughter for the first time. That told me everything I needed to know. about where I stand in his life, so I packed up and left. I'm done living like this. Oh, and in case you're wondering, I've already contacted a lawyer. You can't scare me into complying anymore. because I have all those texts. You know exactly which ones I'm talking about. So, Steffan, I wish you all the best in your future marriage. with your mother and the women of Reddit. whose boobs you don't even deserve. Am I the Asshole for leaving my husband. after he neglected me for years, let his mother mistreat me,

and made me fear for our future daughter's safety?". - Oh. - Wow. (Shane whooping) - Holy crap. - Okay. She a bad bitch. - She put up with so much crap. I'm so glad that she finally got out. - Seriously. - And she found his Reddit. Imagine that being like the final, like holy crap. - I also love her like, "Yeah, I, I also found those texts, you know the ones I'm talking about.". I'm like, badass, dude. - That's crazy. - Oh yeah. - Hell yeah.

- And so brave and bold of her. to be able to do that pregnant, to not be like, "You know what? I should stay.". Because I would grant her that grace of like, of course that makes sense, but she is still, she is, rather because she's pregnant, she's making that a point of like, "You know what, you know, who doesn't need to be exposed? My daughter, I'm out." - Exactly. - And it's crazy that he was like, "You're being paranoid," when like there are clear instances. of actual alarming things that are happening,

and he's just completely, completely ignoring it. I feel like that's one of the most common things I hear. in a lot of these Reddit stories is there's family issues, and the partner's not fighting for. or advocating for each other. - Yep. - Like, I think that. that's something that maybe not everybody learns. is that when you have a partner, like a life partner, you guys get to be a team. when your family isn't there for you, and when your family isn't there for your partner, they are just as important to you, like. - Yes. - Well, clearly he doesn't.

view this woman or women as important to him period. But like, it's just, I really want more people to know that, that like, you guys are supposed to be there for each other. and protect each other from your families, each other's families. - I have a friend who has a really good like analogy. that she always talks about with that situation. where it's like, you know, we each grew up in fish tanks, right? Where we're like with our immediate family, and then eventually you meet somebody else. and then you start your own fish tank with them,

and there can be like, you know, a little like pipeline. where you're connected still to your family, but then you building this fish tank with that person. They are now your equal, and it's now this is my priority, this is my person, I'm going to make sure that I advocate for them and us, while also, yes, catering to the family's needs, but still making sure that this is the partnership that I am. in for the long haul. - Yeah, and he might think.

like he has the tools. to quote unquote deal with his family, but she doesn't. And like, it's up to you to help your partner like, and have your family like get into a common kind of place. Like, 'cause that's your responsibility. It's your family. Like, it's really crazy. to see people be dismissive like that. - Yeah. - Totally. - And then when, I can only imagine when she found his Reddit, it's like, okay, so no, you are just a horrible person to your core. - [Arasha] Yeah. - Yeah, to find that has gotta be devastating.

I don't know how you recover from that to be like, "You do this?". - "You just look at women's boobs and rate them?". - Like, not only are you like, you're looking at women's boobs, but then you're also like just saying mean things. - Yeah. And then giving relationship advice? That's crazy. - Yeah, it's crazy work. Comments. Someone said, "r/ratemydeparture. 10 outta 10, OP. I wish you well in your new life.". Never heard of that subreddit. We'll check it out. - I like that. - I love that.

Let's get some more of those. - Someone said, "Not the asshole. Hope Steffan and mommy wife. are eternally trapped with each other. She failed raising her son into a complete autonomous human. and would've tried to damage your daughter. He would've let her.". Lastly, someone said, "Not the asshole. Question for Steffan, do you scroll through Reddit comparing boobs. to your mom's while she's breastfeeding you?". (Courtney chuckling) Damn. - Whoa, whoa. - Update. - What? Wait, what? What? What? I was not expecting that. I thought we're about to wrap this up.

Oh my God. Let's go! - It's a quick little update. - Okay. - "Steffan has seen this post. He is mad that apparently one of you found him. based on the rate my boobs thing. He has deleted his account. For any purposes, I wanna clarify. that I left out any actual incriminating information. that could lead to doxxing him. Any and all people who are pretending to know me. or have any incriminating information about me are lying. I'm not from South Carolina, I'm not moving in with any other guy, and I am also not sleeping around.".

Okay, well he found it. - Damn. - Deleted his account, so. - That's awesome. - Whoa. - He knows - One thing checked off. - He knows. - Wow. That was- - Yeah. - That was magnificent. - That is crazy. I feel like another kind of like. thing that we need to discuss as well is that mom, the mother-in-law's relationship. - Yeah. - To her son, 'cause that's also something that's so common as well. In these family issues, it's so often a parent just being so clingy to,

a lot of the times it's a mom still connected to her son. and being like, "You're still like my son, so I still get to be in charge of this, this, this, this.". Which, you know, again, I can grant a little bit of like, I understand still having that like love, that connection, but definitely becomes inappropriate. when it starts being critical of his partner. - Yeah. - When it starts being like, making jokes about her body. - It's crazy. - That's very.

not okay. - Wearing whit to the wedding. - The mom called her fat in front of everyone, and he didn't do anything. - Everyone let her just do that, no one did anything, which is like, what does say? - Mom's still trying. to be the most important woman in his life. - Yeah, and yeah, it is super common because like, sometimes people will raise their son. to be what they wanted to have, you know? Or what they want, you know, for the world, or, but then end up getting a li-. - A Redditor. - An unhealthy, yeah. Every woman wants a Redditor son. (Shayne laughing).

No, I'm so sorry. - Yeah. - But like, just, and then they have an unhealthy attachment. and it's just really weird how like, he's got like blinders on. - Yeah. - You know? - No, that is such an interesting concept, because then that almost gives us a reason. behind the criticism of his partner, 'cause she's, in a weird way, a little jealous. - That's part of it. - She's like, "That's why I'm gonna make a fat joke. That's why I am going to. like constantly make him.

tell her that she's overreacting.". Like, it's almost like a weird, like you have to pick. - It's weird. - Yeah, and it's weird. that he's like, "She's gonna be in our daughter's life. whether you like it or not.". It's like, whoa, you're not only being like, "No, it's okay that she's around our kid.". You're like, "No.". - Yeah. - "She's gonna be there.". - Yeah. - Right. - What are you saying? - And, "You're too soft. I'm gonna strengthen up this daughter.". - Yeah, whoa. - This is not your kid to have. - No. - Well, she's a badass. - Yeah. - Yes. - I hope she's doing well. - I have a feeling, whatever these texts are, she has everything lined up.

- Oh yeah, and she is not in South Carolina. - No, she's not. - And she is not. sleeping around, but I hope she is one day. - Yeah. - Yeah, and in South Carolina, - In Italy, she should go to Italy. - She deserves a ticket to Italy. - She should go find herself. - Anyways, thank you both for being here. - Hi-da. - That was crazy. That was a good one. - That was a wild. ep. - Those were juicy. We had some pretty concrete assholes there. - I love a concrete asshole, I've always said that.

- And I've always had one. - Always had that. - There you go. Thank you for watching. Let us know what other subreddits. and themes you want us to cover on this show, and we will see you next Saturday. Goodbye. - Bye, love you. - Goodbye. (gentle music).